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You can do it

Ray’s Daily

September 24, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.

Stephen Covey

Here it is Friday, another week has gone by. Summer has ended and Autumn has begun, It was another week when I could have done more but choose to concentrate on doing what I could to make my wife’s days as pleasant as possible. I also enjoyed listening to what was going on in my friends lives.

I think we too often have so much to do we don’t take time to do what we should do. The following story puts one mothers activities into perspective.

Priorities

So many things to do, I’m always rushing ’round

I wish that I had time to just sit still

I’ll get done all the things I need to do today

I promise then I’ll stop a while, I will

And so I start to tackle the list of chores I made

I’ll make this house look really spick and span

I’ll tidy up and wash the floor and vac and dust as well

Clean the bathrooms, clean the house – I know I can

A friend rings up. She’s feeling down. She wants to come around

She asks if I have time to talk a while

I stop to make a coffee and lend a listening ear

I have nothing to give except my smile

Then, when she’s feeling better and she knows that she’s been heard

She thanks me and then she goes on her way

I look around my house and continue with my chores

For I am going to get somewhere today

The telephone then rings. My son’s teacher’s on the phone

She wants me to come down and get him now

I go down to the school and I bring my sick child home

I’ll clean this house up later on somehow

And later when the kids are home; ‘Mum, I need to talk’

And so I stop to listen for a while

My daughter tells me how she feels, she opens up her heart

Then, when she knows I’ve heard her, she can smile

When the night has come, I wonder, ‘what did I achieve?’

And, then I look back on all I have done

The house is still not tidy and there is still so much to do

Just like it was when I had first begun

But, then I stop and realise my priorities are right

For when someone’s in need then, I am there

I give to them the time they need and help them where I can

I let them know how much I really care

For when the years have passed and my kids have all moved out

They will feel the love and warmth I had to give

And I know that they’ll remember the lessons that they learnt

In self-worth and in how they choose to live

Michelle Tetley

~~~

There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.

Brian Tracy

~~~

Her rules

The Franklin Factor: Early to bed and early to rise means it’s time to meet more guys.

The Rat Race: If there’s one rat in a room full of nice men, he’ll hit on you first.

The Eyeglass Prescription: Don’t wear your glasses on a blind date.  You’ll look better, and he will too.

The Ring Rule: A watched telephone never rings.

The Creep Call: Never pick up the phone on Saturday night.  It’s a call from a creep you told you were busy.

The Fishing Forecast: They say there are lots of good fish in the sea.  But who wants to go out with a fish?

The Psychological Prognosis: Love is a form of temporary insanity curable by marriage.

The Rope Trick: Give a man enough rope and he’ll lasso another woman.

Mind Over Matter: No one ever falls in love with another person’s mind at a cocktail party.

The Fault Finder: The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to move in with your lover.

Twain’s Truth: Familiarity breeds children.

The Fertility Factor: Women are only fertile a few days each month, unless they’re single.

~~~

A lawyer’s epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange

Here lies an honest lawyer,

And that is Strange.

~~~

“If we were rich,” said Mrs. Abrahams, “we’d spend six months a year in Florida, six months a year in Europe, and six months a year in California.”

“But dear, that would make eighteen months in a year!” said her husband.

“Indeed it would, Herbert.  Isn’t is wonderful what you can do with money?”

~~~

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed.

~~~

A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, “This doesn’t feel so bad.”

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.

“You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?” the husband asked.

“Exactly,” replied the instructor.

To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, pick up that pen for me.”

~~~

When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing.

Henny Youngman

~~~

It was just after midnight, and there was a rapping at the doctor’s door.

Dragging himself out of bed and poking his head from the window, he shouted down at the lone figure.

“Well?”

The woman looked up, “No, sick.”

~~~

A little boy asked his mother, “Mummy, am I descended from a monkey?”

The mother replied, “I don’t know, son, I’ve never met your father’s folks.”

~~~

Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived.

One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all.

Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. “Reform I can understand. But where will it end?  You! Goldblum!  The ashtrays in your temple so My people could smoke while the Torah was being read???”

Goldblum shuddered.

God went on.  “I can live with that.  Men are weak, but the Word is strong!”

Goldblum sighed with relief.

“Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but really:  serving Ham & Cheese Sandwiches to the devout at the temple during Yom Kippur?”

Bauman hung his head in shame.

“Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that which is not Kosher. I’m not pleased at all with the playing fast and loose with my people, but I can accept these indiscretions.”

Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief.

Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, “You, Rabinowitz, have gone too far!  Am I asking too much?  No, you flaunt the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying….’Closed for the Holidays!'”

~~~

Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Lighten Up

Ray’s Daily

September 23, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things

Kenneth Branagh

I know we spend a lot of effort in our search for happinss and it is time well spent. It would be easy to let today’s difficult chalanges get us down. For me I prefer to find things to generate happiness rather than waiting for happiness to find me.

I have been a fan of best selling author, Gretchen Rubin, for some time. She has developed into an expert on happiness. Here are some editied tips I got from her web site for your consideration.

How to Be Happy: 10 Extremely Practical Tips to Try Now

By Gretchen Rubin

1. I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry.

2. Do let the sun go down on anger. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.

3. Fake it till you feel it. Feelings follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften.

4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. People who do new things―learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places―are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to “Enjoy the fun of failure” and tackle some daunting goal.

5. Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.” While it’s easy to think, I’ll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans, it’s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.

6. Buy some happiness. I’ve learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences.

7. Don’t insist on the best. There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

8. Exercise to boost energy. I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, “I’m just too tired to go to the gym”? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook.

9. Stop nagging. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying “Milk!” instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself.

10. Take action. Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament. Although it’s true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and making conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work.

~~~

“If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change”

Tony Gaskins

~~~

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if:

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.

When the pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,” five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”

The choir is known as the “OK Chorale”.

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

The service wine is Boone’s Farm “Tickled Pink”.

The final words of the benediction are, “Y’all come back now, ya hear?”

~~~

One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people!

~~~

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain it to you. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”

~~~

“In a restaurant choose a table near a waiter.”

Yiddish Proverb

~~~

The math teacher posed this problem, “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”

The savvy student answered, “A lawyer!”

~~~

Carmen Mariano

~~~

Success never rests. On your worst days, be good. And on your best days, be great. And on every other day, get better.

The U.S. Treasury announced it is recalling all of the Alabama quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state. The quarters are being issued in the order in which the various states joined the U.S.

“We are recalling all the new Alabama quarters that were recently issued,” Treasury Undersecretary Jack Shackleford said Monday.

“This action is being taken after numerous reports that new quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones, or other coin-operated devices.”

“The problem lies in a design flaw,” Shackleford said.

The winning design was submitted by an Auburn University student.

“Apparently,” Shackleford said, “the duct tape holding the two dimes and nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices.”

~~~

Keep a green tree alive in your heart and a songbird may come to sing there.

Chinese Proverb

~~~

A factory owner said to a store owner, “Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you.”

“Gosh, it’s nice to hear that, but I’m kind of surprised,” admitted Smith. “You know that I argue every bill and always pay late.”

The factory owner said, “I’d still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two hundred.”

~~~

Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

~~~

“Look at ME!” boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. “Every morning I do fifty push-ups, fifty sit-ups and walk two miles. I’m fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t stay up late, and I don’t chase after women!”

He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, “And tomorrow, I’m going to celebrate my 95th birthday!”

“Oh, really?” drawled one of the young onlookers, “How?”

~~~

“Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.”

Immanuel Kant

~~~

A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer, “How long will it take me to get to the next town?”

The farmer didn’t answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again.

After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out, “About 20 minutes.”

“Thank you. But why didn’t you tell me that when I asked you?”

“Didn’t know how fast you could walk.”

~~~

It is essential to our well-being, and to our lives, that we play and enjoy life. Every single day do something that makes your heart sing

Marcia Wieder

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Retirement

Ray’s Daily

September 22, 2021

Http://rays-daily.com

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

Eden Phillpotts

Ray’s Daily first published on September 22, 2006

Yesterday I was interviewed by a reporter from the Indianapolis Star, our cities daily newspaper. He wanted to know my views on life after retirement. I shared with him my strong feeling that retirement can be the best time in a person’s life. It is a time when we no longer have to impress anybody, it is when we are free to do as we please within our physical limitations. We need to remember there are no rules for retirement, it can be whatever we want it to be.

Unfortunately I feel too many of us really don’t know ourselves well enough to plan what we might do. Many have trained and conditioned themselves to think we must live within a box just as we always have. Some of us think we will find happiness by doing what we and others have convinced us we ought to do instead of doing what would give us real pleasure.

If we are willing to invest in ourselves we can list everything that ever made us happy from the smell of a spring flower to a trip to some exotic location. In my case the list is always full, everything from a book I want to read to a trip to a country I have never visited before. If we are willing to do it, we can take our lists consolidate similar things, identify those things that make us happy and then get up and go do them. Our happiness is often found in places new to us, if you enjoy people you can go where they are, volunteer and start a new hobby, the collecting of new friends.

The reporter also asked me if senior’s recognition of their mortality affected their retirement attitude. While I said I could not speak for others I found that knowing life is finite and can’t go on forever provides us the choice of focusing on the end with fear and sadness or recognizing just how precious each day is. Each day is a gift box that can be filled with all kinds of wondrous things, a book, a smile, holding a child’s hand, hugging a loved one, packing for the next adventure, each brings meaning to the day and adds another memorable page to our history.

Mortality is somewhere out there in the future, while each sunrise brings a new day, and the day gives us the opportunity to celebrate life. If we only look out across the horizon we will never see the flowers at our feet.

~~~

“Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.”

Angela Monet

~~~

“Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever handle the middle-of-the-night feeding?”

“No. I always did that.”

“That must have been before you had women’s liberation.”

“No, it was before we had baby bottles.”

~~~

If the right man does not come along, there are many fates far worse.

One is to have the wrong man come along.

~~~

19 Sayings We’d Like To See On Office Posters

1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

2. If you can stay calm, while all around you there is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

6. Plagiarism saves time.

7. If at first you don’t succeed, try management.

8. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

9. TEAMWORK: means never having to take all the blame yourself.

10. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

11. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

12. We waste time, so you don’t have to.

13. Hang in there, retirement is only 50 years away!

14. Never criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes; that way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away AND you have their shoes!

15. A snooze button is a poor excuse for no alarm clock at all.

16. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

17. INDECISION: is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

18. Succeed in spite of management.

19. Aim Low, Reach your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

~~~

“We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.”

W. H. Auden

~~~

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days”?

He replied, “That would be fine with me.”

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

~~~

 Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

~~~

Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began.

“You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow.

“I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe continued.

“The sidewalk to the door,” Charlie corrected him.

“Inside the door, I was met by this dude,” Joe went on.

“That would be the usher,” Charlie explained.

“Well, the usher led me down the chute,” Joe said.

“You mean the aisle,” Charlie said.

“Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there,” Joe continued.

“Pew,” Charlie retorted.

“Yeah,” recalled Joe. “That’s what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her.”

~~~

“I’m dating a guy who’s twenty-one. That’s seven in boy years.”

Lisa Goich

~~~

Morris needs a lawyer, so he grabs the yellow pages and picks out a law firm —Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz & Schwartz.

He calls up and says, “Is Mr. Schwartz in?”

The man says, “No, he’s out playing golf.”

Morris says, “All right, then let me speak to Mr. Schwartz.”

“He’s not with the firm any more, he’s retired.”

“Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz.”

“He’s away in Boston, won’t be back for a month.”

“Okay, then let me talk to the other Mr. Schwartz.”

He says, “Speaking!”

~~~

“Every man dies – Not every man really lives.”

William Ross Wallace

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Her Grace Still Shines

Ray’s Daily

September 21, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

I have learnt how to live… how to be in the world and of the world, and not just to stand aside and watch.

Audrey Hepburn

My life has been filled with opportunity and reward. First in the Navy, then a thirty plus year career in the computer industry followed by ten years working for Kiwanis Internationls partnership with the United Nations Children Fund (UNICEF).

My work wuith Kiwanis and UNICEF was my most rewarding activity. Audrey Hepburn had passed but her UNICEF legacy continued on, her warmth, humanity and love for the world’s children was an inspiration to thousands. Sir Roger Moore often remarked on how her spirit motivated his UNICEF efforts. She truly was someone very special.

Audrey Hepburn

Internationally renowned actress Audrey Hepburn was a tireless advocate for children’s rights.

Soon after becoming a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador in 1989, she went on a mission to Ethiopia, where years of drought and civil strife had caused terrible famine. After visiting UNICEF emergency operations, Audrey talked about the projects to media in the United States, Canada and Europe over several weeks, giving as many as 15 interviews a day. It set a precedent for her commitment to the organization.

In the years that followed, Audrey made a series of UNICEF field trips, visiting a polio vaccine project in Turkey, training programmes for women in Venezuela, initiatives for children living and working on the street in Ecuador, projects to provide drinking water in Guatemala and Honduras, and radio literacy programmes in El Salvador. She saw schools in Bangladesh, services for impoverished children in Thailand, nutrition initiatives in Viet Nam and camps for displaced children in Sudan.

Audrey worked fervently for UNICEF. She testified before the US Congress, took part in the World Summit for Children, launched UNICEF’s State of the World’s Children reports, hosted Danny Kaye International Children’s Award ceremonies, designed fundraising cards, participated in benefit concert tours and gave many speeches and interviews promoting UNICEF’s work.

She received the United States’ highest civilian award, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, in 1992. That year, though ill with cancer, Audrey continued her work for UNICEF, travelling to France, Kenya, Somalia, Switzerland, the United Kingdom and the United States.

Audrey was born on 4 May 1929 in Brussels, Belgium. Her father was an English banker and her mother a Dutch baroness. She studied ballet, but a small part in a French film led the French writer Colette to ask her to play the title role in Gigi, which Colette had adapted for Broadway. The same year, Audrey landed the lead role in the film Roman Holiday, with Gregory Peck, the first of a long list of American movie classics in which she starred.

Towards the end of the 1960s, she retired from acting to dedicate herself to family life, emerging only for a handful of films in the 1970s and 1980s. She devoted the final years of her life to UNICEF.

Audrey Hepburn died at her home in Switzerland on 20 January 1993.

~~~

Giving is living. If you stop wanting to give, there’s nothing more to live for.

Audrey Hepburn

~~~

~~~

“Are you my caddie?” asked MacTavish.

“Aye, sir,” replied the boy.

“And are you any good at finding lost balls?”

“Aye, sir.”

“Right, then. Find one and let’s get the game started.”

~~~

If you want long friendships, develop a short memory.

~~~

A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, “Marian, Marian!”

Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, “You shouldn’t call me ‘Marian.’  I’m your mother, you know.”

“I know,” said the child, wise beyond his years, “but the store is full of mothers!”

~~~

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven.”

John Milton

~~~

PROCRASTINATOR’S CREED

NOTICE: You may wish to delay reading this until you have more free time.

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7. If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.

8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10. I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

~~~

“Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones come daily.”

Ivy Baker Priest

~~~

Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. All three had offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day.

The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine. As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, “Head up or head down?”

“Head up,” said the doctor.

“Blindfold or no blindfold?”

“No blindfold.”

So the executioner raised the blade, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade — and stopped barely an inch above the doctor’s neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn’t succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.

Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine.

“Head up or head down?” said the executioner.

“Head up.”

“Blindfold or no blindfold?”

“No blindfold.”

So the executioner raised the blade, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade — and stopped an inch above the chemist’s neck. Well, the law stated that if the execution didn’t succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the chemist was set free.

Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine.

“Head up or head down?”

“Head up.”

“Blindfold or no blindfold?”

“No blindfold.”

So the executioner raised the blade, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer yelled out:

“WAIT! I see what the problem is!”

~~~

“I can testify to what UNICEF means to children, because I was among those who received food and medical relief after World War II. I have a long-lasting gratitude and trust for what UNICEF does.”

Audrey Hepburn

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Hug Life

Ray’s Daily

September 20, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.

Theodore Roosevelt

I hope you had a good weekend. It’s now time to make it a good week. I am not sure what I am going to do but I know I will avoid conflict and ill will. I am too old to waste time in the doldrums so I will try to spend my time appreciating life rather then letting it pass me by.

Here is a story about how folks can find happiness, while I won’t hug a cow, I will hug life.

Hugging Life

It was time to break free. I needed to run away and this seasonal change here in Pennsylvania, offered the best place to go. It’s time for the Bloomsburg Fair.

I don’t know if you can call it running away since it is only an hour away from my home. But once I cross through ‘Gate 5’ and enter the fair grounds, I cross over into another world. The loudspeaker offers background music barely audible over the sounds of people talking, carnival game hucksters and food venders vying for your attention.

I belong here. I don’t know if I have it in my blood or not, but I always wanted to have a small food stand and travel in my off season from fair to fair selling goodies. Perhaps one day. It certainly isn’t a priority in my life. Perhaps it should be. After I’m there awhile, I need to get away to a quiet spot on the fair grounds. Most of the time I can find that any where the farm animals are kept.

They need the quiet. Milk production goes down in the dairy barns I am told if there is too much ruckus. So I go there to find peace with the cows, goats, horses, pigs and yes, the turkeys. You’d think being this close to ‘Thanksgiving’ they’d be a little on edge, but they are not.

It was in the dairy barn where I found my oasis this time. I so admire the young folks who tend to farm animals. I think they have a greater appreciation for life. They participate in it firsthand. I’ve watched a young boy help bring a calf into the world and I have seen a young girl walk her prize cow through the line of animals for sale, knowing that her job is done and it’s time for it to leave home. It must be difficult.

My favourite scene is to come across a young person lying in the hay asleep among the cows that have settled down for a rest. There, with their heads nestled in a small soft spot along side their favorite cow, I have seen them in a much deserved sleep. Perhaps better at rest there than in their own bed. I had the pleasure of speaking with a young teenage farm girl at rest today.

‘You look so comfortable,’ I said to her.

‘Oh I am,’ she said. ‘Life makes it comfortable for me.’

‘You mean being a farm girl?’

‘No, Life! That’s the name of my cow,’ she said smiling as she stroked the cows side.

‘I thought they called cows Betsy and Elsie. Why did you call her Life?’

‘I discovered life again here. It was the only sensible name that came to mind,’ she said.

‘I had been raised in the big city and really hated it. Then we moved to the country. Kinda running away from it all. I think my parents called it a mid-life crisis,’ she said laughing.

‘Boy, I can relate to that. I’ve been in one since birth,’ I said.

‘It was on the farm that I learned to love life again. I was there when Life was born. It was so exciting. My whole outlook on the world changed. So I named her Life. Now, I can say I really love Life,’ she said.

‘How incredible. You know I write stories and I am always trying to get people to embrace life. To wake up each day expecting the best from it. But they all too often go to bed with so much bad stuff in their soul, and on their mind, that they wake up miserable and expect it to only get worse from there. All too often it does, just because that’s all they choose to see in that otherwise perfectly beautiful day,’ I told her.

‘That’s too bad. They need to see a cow born, a chicken hatch. I guess they need to wake up early and hug life!’ she said laughing.

‘When was the last time you hugged Life?’ she asked me.

‘I am sorry to say even I have had trouble doing that lately,’ I said.

‘Come here!’ she said.

Then standing up and stepping aside she said, ‘Go ahead… hug Life!’

I paused for a moment and dropping all thoughts of looking silly, I did. I hugged a cow. 

Written by Bob Perks

~~~

Not how long, but how well you have lived is the main thing.

Seneca

~~~

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

~~~

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen.

He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. He yelled with surprising forcefulness “Who stole my horse?”

No one answered. “I’m gonna have another beer and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I’m finished, I’m gonna  do what I dun back in Texas and I don’t want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, what happened in Texas?”

The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home!”

~~~

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Fred Allen

~~~

A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. 

“Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the Army,” the general said. “Nothing to it-you’ll catch on again fast.”

Next morning promptly at eight o’clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general’s bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer’s wife on her bottom and said, “OK, sweetheart, it’s back to the village for you.”

~~~

“There will always be two kinds of people: those who say what they think, and those who keep their friends.”

~~~

A man brings some very fine material to a tailor and asks him to make a pair of pants. When he comes back a week later, the pants are not ready. Two weeks later, they still are not ready. Finally after 6 weeks, the pants are ready. The man tries them on. They fit perfectly. Nonetheless, when it comes to pay, he cannot resist a jibe at the tailor.

You know, he says it tool God only six days to make the world. And it took you six weeks to make just one pair of pants.

Ahhh says the tailor But look at this pair of pants, and then look at the world.

~~~

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

~~~

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up.  Everybody but one woman laughed uproariously.  Used to having a better audience, his good mood quickly faded.

“What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss.  “Can’t you get the joke?”

“I don’t have to laugh,” she said.  “I’m quitting Friday.”

~~~

Do stuff. Be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager.

Susan Sontag

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Enjoy Life

Ray’s Daily

September 17, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.

Charles Spurgeon

Here we go again, another weekend. What I like is I will have few mandatory things to do so I can concentrate on things that make me happy. Just spending some time appreciating what I have is great but it never hurts to invest time rewarding yourself. Here is an edited article I picked up about what we can do to maximise our happiness.

15 Ways to Enjoy Life More

By Z. Hereford

1. Savor each moment. We typically do not know when a particular moment will be our last. In order to make the most of each one, we can learn to savor and be mindful of every aspect it offers.

2. Be whimsical; think like a child. Remind yourself of the things that made you happy when you were young, such as running through the rain, smelling fresh flowers, playing fun games, and being carefree.

3. Engage in a physical activity. Exercise releases not only happy chemicals known as endorphins; it releases natural pain-relieving and stress-relieving chemicals as well.

4. Laugh more. To paraphrase Harry Ward Beecher “Laughter is the best medicine.”

5. Experience a new activity. Enrichment in experience contributes to the enjoyment of life and there is nothing like trying something totally new. Go for it!

6. Start a gratitude journal. Writing about and recording those experiences which make you happy and grateful serves as a continuous reminder of those special moments.

7. De-clutter. You would be surprised how liberating and satisfying de-cluttering can be. You will feel lighter, fresher and ultimately more joyful.

8. Keep learning new things. Learning new things not only gives you a new lease on life, it keeps your brain/body connection young and active.

9. Give back. There are many ways you can give back to your family, community and workplace. It doesn’t have to be something colossal. It can be a small kindness in the form of opening a door for someone, helping someone with a heavy parcel, or helping a new team member at work.

10. Plan for the future, but live in the present. Quite often we get so caught up in planning and preparing for the future that we neglect to live in and enjoy the present.

11. Celebrate your successes. Succeeding is a great way to further boost morale and well being! So, no matter how seemingly small, be sure to enjoy the successes in your life.

12. Take time to appreciate nature. Life can be a joy when you make the most of all that nature has to offer.

13. Appreciate what you have. Quite often we don’t remind ourselves of the freedom and privileges we benefit from. If we stop to reflect upon all we have, we would indeed enjoy life that much more.

14. Appreciate your friends and family. It’s easy to take our loved ones for granted, however, when times are tough and life deals us some unexpected challenges, it is our dear friends and family to whom we turn for support and encouragement.

15. Know that you deserve to enjoy life more! Remember that life is short and that we deserve to enjoy and reap all the rewards it offers. It is up to each of us to take the time to appreciate and enjoy life more.

~~~

To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.

Bertrand Russell

~~~

She said: My husband and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When my husband began a story, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table.

There was no response, so I gave him another poke. Still the story went on. Suddenly, he stopped, grinned and said, “Oh, but I’ve told you this one before, haven’t I?”

We all chuckled and changed the subject. Later, on the dance floor, I asked my husband why it had taken him so long to get my message.

“What do you mean?” he replied. “I cut the story off as soon as you kicked me.”

“But I kicked you twice and it still took you awhile to stop!”

Suddenly, we realized what had happened. Sheepishly, we returned to our table. His boss smiled and said, “Don’t worry. After the second one, I figured it wasn’t for me, so I passed it along.”

~~~

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

~~~

A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”

The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient: “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”

Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success.

Finally they summoned the police. The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy what’s your name?”

“Fred,” the cowboy moaned.

“Where ya from, Fred?” asked the Ranger.

With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied,

“…the balcony…”

~~~

It’s when you run away that you’re most liable to stumble.

Casey Robinson

~~~

A READER’S GUIDE

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country – if they could find the time, and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

~~~

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you.

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

~~~

A sales representative stops at a small manufacturing plant in the Midwest. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift.

“No, thanks,” says the manager. “I tried smoking a cigar once and I didn’t like it.”

The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for martinis.

“No, thanks,” the plant manager replies. “I tried alcohol once, but didn’t like it.”

Then the salesman glances out the office window and sees a golf course. “I suppose you play golf,” says the salesman. “I’d like to invite you to be a guest at my club.”

“No, thanks,” the manager says. “I played golf once, but I didn’t like it.” Just then a young man enters the office. “Let me introduce my son, Bill,” says the plant manager.

“Let me guess,” the salesman replies. “An only child?”

~~~

It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Perservere

Ray’s Daily

September 16, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“The only guarantee for failure is to stop trying.”

John C. Maxwell

I am afraid too many of us give up doing the things we could do to make us happy. I know that many times the brightest days lay just over the hill but we will not bask in the sunshine unless we climb the hill. I know in my case I often got bogged down in my efforts, often not knowing what to do next but perserverance led to success.

If we don’t quit great things can happen. Here are some thoughts I took from a recent article written by Jon Gordon for you to consider.

DON’T QUIT!

5 WAYS TO KEEP GOING

1) Keep your Vision Alive: It’s so important to keep looking forward and seeing the future you want to create. If you can see it you’ll keep moving towards it.

2) Fuel up with Purpose: There will be many times you want to give up but always remember that your purpose is greater than your challenges. It is the ultimate fuel for a meaningful journey. It gives you meaning and mission which helps you overcome adversity and avoid burnout.

3) Believe the Best is Yet to Come: We don’t give up because it’s hard. We give up because we get discouraged. No matter what challenges you face along the way keep encouraging yourself. Maintain hope. Believe the best is yet to come. If you believe in what you are doing and know that this is what you truly want, then keep believing it will happen.

4) Focus on the Process, not the Outcome: There will be many times where the outcome is not looking good. You may not be hitting the numbers you want or getting the results you desire. The key is to focus on the process and just work to get better each day.

5) Trust in a Bigger Plan: Sometimes when all hope seems lost and you feel like there is nothing more you can do; I believe you can do something that will help everything. You can pray and trust in a bigger plan for your life.

So don’t give up! Keep going! Because, you’ll be better for it and so will the people you impact along the way. I’m rooting for you!

~~~

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Thomas Edison

~~~

“You Know You Work In Corporate America If:”

You’ve sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.

When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.

You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

You learn about your layoff on CNN.

Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.

It’s dark when you drive to and from work.

“Communication” is something your group is having problems with.

You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.

Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.

Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home from work.

Being sick is defined as can’t walk or you’re in the hospital.

You’re already late on the assignment you just got.

Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.

Your boss’ favorite lines are “when you get a few minutes,” “in your spare time,” “when you’re freed up,” and “I have an opportunity for you.”

Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.

Your relatives and family describe your job as “works with computers.”

Change is the norm.

The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.

You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.

You read this entire list and understood it.

~~~

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

~~~

While in Atlanta on vacation, Little Johnny’s Daddy took one afternoon to see historic sites downtown.

Two young families were also in line to the see the sites. Little Johnny struck up a conversation with one of the boys in line.

“My name is Kilroy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy.

“Johnny”.

“My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Pop do for a living?” asked.

Little Johnny replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.”

“Honest?” asked Kilroy.

Johnny replied, “No, just the regular kind.”

~~~

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.

~~~

Moshe and Miriam, a young orthodox married couple, were expecting their first baby. Unfortunately, Miriam’s water broke on Shabbos and they had no choice but to call for a taxi to take them to the hospital’s maternity ward. Because Moshe wanted to try and minimize the Shabbos violation, he told the dispatcher that he must send them only a non-Jewish driver. The taxi quickly arrived, but when Moshe and Miriam were getting in, they overheard the dispatcher on the two-way radio ask the driver, “Have you picked up the anti-semites yet?”

~~~

Why are you “in” a movie, but you’re “on” TV?

~~~

A father in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, makes a turn at a red light where it isn’t allowed.

“Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said.

“That’s OK Dad,” the son says, “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”

~~~

“People will forget what you say, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

~~~

A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately.  He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife.

The psychic went into a trance.  A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.

“Honey!” he cried. “Is that you?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Are you happy?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Happier than you were with me?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Then Heaven must be an amazing place!”

“I’m not in Heaven, dear.”

~~~

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”

Winston Churchill

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Traveling

Ray’s Daily

September 15, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience.

The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him. He goes “sight-seeing.”

Daniel J. Boorstin

Ray’s Daily first published on September 15, 2005

 ~~~

There is a lot of wisdom in the above quote. Seldom have I ever had the opportunity to both travel and tour at the same time. A friend and I discussed this a few days ago over breakfast. We both shared stories of our trips to other lands. We talked about people we met and how much pleasure we had we stopped long enough to enjoy the neighborhoods and the people we met.

I am sorry that I seldom travel any more, I mostly tour. When I traveled with Kiwanis and UNICEF we often experienced great things as we visited remote villages, ate exotic foods, and enjoyed a wide variety of wonderful people.

You can go to Paris and visit the Eiffel Tower; it really is worth seeing, but please don’t miss spending a few hours sitting at a Café in Montmartre, stroll by the artists who are displaying their work, and breathe the air. Or even better find a restaurant that is off the beaten path and savoir the food, the people and the atmosphere. And please, please don’t behave like the American tourist stereotype when you are there. In Rome make sure you visit the Vatican Museum but don’t overlook the fruit and flowers you will find in an open market. In all honesty, I would love to spend a week in Spain or in another of my favorite countries and just stay in one place, sitting at an outside table and let the world go by.

Friday I will be off again, this time for a quick trip to Bermuda. I again will be a tourist; I will take many pictures, see many sights, and spend most of my time with other tourists, the same people I can meet at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love cruising, I love getting a little taste of what other places have to offer, but it is no substitute for the warmth and adventure that comes from meeting a stranger and turning them into a friend.

So tomorrow I will again sail off into the sunset bidding you a fond farewell. I will be out of contact spending a lot of time resting while others frolic. But don’t jump for joy or fret, I will be back in action in a week and the daily will again descend on your computer each weekday morning until November when I will again go a traveling. Yes I said travel and not tour; I will tell you more about that at another time.

So everyone listen up, in case I forget tomorrow, you are required to enjoy next week, play each day, and stay out of trouble if you can. If you can’t stay out of trouble you at least you will have gotten more enjoyment out the week than most people will.

~~~

For the perfect idler, for the passionate observer it becomes an immense source of enjoyment to establish his dwelling in the throng, in the ebb and flow, the bustle, the fleeting and the infinite. To be away from home and yet to feel at home anywhere; to see the world, to be at the very center of the world, and yet to be unseen of the world, such are some of the minor pleasures of those independent, intense and impartial spirits, who do not lend themselves easily to linguistic definitions. The observer is a prince enjoying his incognito wherever he goes. 

Charles Baudelaire

~~~

You might be from Las Vegas If…..  

* – You no longer associate bridges with water.  

* – You can say 110 degrees without fainting.  

* – You can make instant sun tea.  

* – You learn that a seat belt makes a good branding iron.  

* – The temperature drops below 85, and you feel a bit chilled.  

* – You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.  

* – You discover you can get a sunburn through your car window.  

* – You notice the best parking place is determined by shade, not distance.  

* – It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is on the streets.  

* – Hot water comes out of both taps.  

* – You actually burn your hand opening the car door.  

* – No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.   

* – Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?  

* – You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.  

~~~

More and more these days I find myself pondering on how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.

John Kirk Nelson

~~~

In a little town, tucked into the woods and far from the main roads, the Jews were afraid that the Messiah would come and pass them by. They decided to build a tower on the outskirts of town, and appointed one of the town’s beggars to serve there as watchman. If the Messiah should come, the watchman would give him directions to the town.

One day a stranger approached the tower, and the watchman came down to greet him. “What are you doing here in the middle of the forest?” asked the stranger.

“I sit on top of the tower and wait for the Messiah,” answered the watchman.

“How do you like your job?” the stranger asked. “I’m sure it doesn’t pay very much.”

“That’s true,” answered the watchman. “But it’s steady work.”

~~~

My friend admitted she was forty but she didn’t say when.

~~~

A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the homeowner, “My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand when you tell him about all the bargains,” the homeowner replied.

“Normally, yes,” the lady said. “But he just broke his leg, and he’s waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set.”

~~~

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

Alfred E. Newman

~~~

Shortly after reporting to the 101st Airborne Division, we were ordered to fall out in our dress uniforms. Only problem was, I didn’t know how to tie a necktie. So I asked the guy in the next bunk for help.

“Sure,” he said. “Lie down.”

Confused, I lay down on the bunk and he tied my tie.

“Sorry, but this is the only way I know how,” he said. “comes from practicing on my father’s clients.”

“What does your father do?”

“He’s a mortician.”

~~~

“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”

Ed Furgol.

~~~

“So, Mr. Clark,” the doctor says to one of his patients, “I see by your chart that you’ve been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you’re released?”

The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, “Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That’s still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it’s like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I’ve grown interested in lately.”

Dr. Leroy nods and says, “Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities.”

The patient replies, “And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being a teapot.”

~~~

Browbeaten Bill once told me that his marriage was secure. “My wife would never file for divorce from me. She’d never do anything to make me happy!”

~~~

“Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it.”

Soren Kierkegaard

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

You are special

Ray’s Daily

September 14, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.

Malcolm S. Forbes

Some of us either forget or never have realized that we have more abilities than we utilize. I know far too many people who are better than they think they are. Today I want to share with you some reminders about who we or who me can be.

24 Things To Always Remember

  Author Unknown

Your presence is a present to the world.

You are unique and one of a kind.

Your life can be what you want it to be.

Take the days just one at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.

You will make it through whatever comes along.

Within you are so many answers.

Understand, have courage, be strong.

Do not put limits on yourself.

So many dreams are waiting to be realized.

Decisions are too important to leave to chance.

Reach for your peak, your goal and you prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.

The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets.

Do not take things too seriously.

Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.

Remember that a lot goes forever.

Remember that friendship is a wise investment.

Life’s treasure are people together.

Realize that it is never too late.

Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.

Have hearth and hope and happiness.

Take the time to wish upon a start.

AND DO NOT EVER FORGET …. FOR EVEN A DAY HOW VERY SPECIAL YOU ARE !

~~~

If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.

T. Harv Eker

~~~

My supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

My secrets are safe with my friends because they can’t remember them either.

My joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

~~~

“If you listen when you hear and look when you see then you will never be deaf or blind to an opportunity.”

Unknown

~~~

She said: “I’ve got 3 TVs, cable, & a satellite dish; I have 3 phone lines in the house, a cell phone & one in the car, plus a pager.

I use 2 computers, 3 ISPs and a fax. I subscribe to two daily papers & one weekly one. I watch both the local & network news every evening.

And my kids have the nerve to tell me I’m out of touch!”

~~~

“If you were arrested for being kind……..would there be enough evidence to convict you?”

~~~

The banker had called the man in to talk about his account.

“Your financial affairs are in a big mess! Your wife constantly overdraws your account. She is behind in her charge accounts at the department store, and her check stubs are all added wrong. So…why don’t you talk to her about it?”

“Because….” said the man, “I would rather argue with you than with her.”

~~~

If you are what you do, then when you don’t you aren’t.

Wayne Dyer

~~~

She said: I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my golden retriever had fresh air.

She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.

I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay….. Do you hear me?… Stay!.. Stay!”

The driver of a nearby car, perhaps noting that I am a blonde, gave me a strange look and said.

“Why don’t you just put it in park?”

~~~

You must arrange in advance for pleasant memories.

~~~

The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.

“Your veal parmigiana was superb,” the customer said. “I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there.”

“Naturally,” the chef said. “Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported.”

~~~

Too often we do not see things as they are; we see things as we are.”

Stuart Avery Gold

~~~

A woman is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, “Here’s another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat,” so she pushes him back onto the seat. A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is still insulted so she refuses to let him up again.

Look, the man says, “Look, lady, you’ve got to let me get up. I’m twelve blocks past my stop already!”

~~~

Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.

Mark Victor Hansen

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Let’s be friends

Ray’s Daily

September 13, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

There is no possession more valuable than a good and faithful friend.

Socrates

As we have discussed in the past I feel that the older we get the more we need our friends. Will Rogers said he never met a man he didn’t like. In my case there have been some that I could not relate to but I never met a man or women that I did not want to like.

I am lucky to have many friends and potential friends in my community.

As I have said before it is up to us to earn the friendship of others. The following list outlines what attributes to look for in others but more importantly thay are things for us to develop within our selves.

Great Qualities We Should Appreciate In Each Other More

James M Sama

Thoughtfulness. – In relationships and in life, I believe many of us overlook the importance of thoughtfulness. Being thoughtful helps us live, connect, and love more deeply with others.

Integrity. – C.S. Lewis once said “Integrity is doing the right thing even when nobody is looking.” While this holds true in all aspects of life, having this as a quality is of paramount importance in an intimate relationship.

Intellectual curiosity.  – A person who is intellectually curious about the world around them will never become boring or run out of things to talk about.

Being non-judgmental. – Happiness in relationships stems from the ability to be honest with each other, which in turn stems from the comfort of knowing you can open up without being judged.

The ability to civilly disagree. – It is natural to disagree, and maybe even to argue – but it is profoundly important to be able to approach these situations with maturity and civility.

Social versatility. – I believe it is important to develop a versatility in ourselves that allows us to be comfortable in a variety of environments.

Optimism. – Optimism is not being blind to reality, it is choosing to see the positive side of a situation regardless of how hard you have to look for it. Someone who ignores the silver lining because of the dark center will become emotionally exhausting – particularly if you always have to convince them the bright side exists.

Willingness to communicate. – Communication is the backbone to a relationship. Without the ability and willingness to be honest with each other, there will be conflicts due to secrets that should not be secrets.

Passion. – Passion for us, yes. But also passion for life. When someone lives with passion, they bring that excitement and curiosity with them to all areas, including their relationship with you.

Patience. – Being patient allows us the ability to make those around us more comfortable with us by not rushing them or making them feel pressured to do, be, or act a certain way.

Sincerity. – When someone is sincere, they are naturally truthful and don’t just tell you things [ie., compliments], they make you feel what they mean.

Open-mindedness. – Raise your hand if you want to try to build a relationship with someone who is so stuck in their ways that they refuse to do, learn, or try anything new…

Appreciativeness. – This is not a real word but I’m making it one right now. No matter how kindhearted or giving someone is, lack of appreciation for their efforts will, eventually, cause them to walk away

meone want to commit to you.

~~~

Friendship is an art, and very few persons are born with a natural gift for it.

Kathleen Norris

~~~

Men’s Thesaurus

I’M GOING FISHING” Means: “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

“IT’S A GUY THING” Means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?” Means: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”

“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR…” Means: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN” Means: “I have no idea how it works.”

“I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.” Means: “I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.”

“TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.” Means: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.” Means: “Are you still talking?”

“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.” Means: “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”

“OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL.” Means: “I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.”

“HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.” Means: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”

“I CAN’T FIND IT.” Means: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?” Means: “What did you catch me at?”

“I HEARD YOU.” Means: “I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you won’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”

“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.” Means: “I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”

“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.” Means: “Please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.”

“I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.” Means: “No one will ever see us alive again.”

~~~

Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

~~~

A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town.

“I don’t see how you do it,” the NY reporter said. “How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing?”

“Sure they know,” the editor said, “but they read the paper to see who got caught at it.”

~~~

Men who don’t understand women fall into two categories: bachelors and husbands.

~~~

A pretty young lass had just joined the club, and Greg offered to give her some instruction. He stood close behind her and showed her how grip the club and how to swing back and forward.  

Their moving bodies caused the zipper on his fly to get caught in the zipper of her skirt. They were stuck fast together. Slowly they were moving towards the club house to get assistance, when suddenly a big brown dog jumped out from behind a bush and threw a bucket water over them.  

~~~

We must have the courage to allow a little disorder in our lives.

Ben Weininger

~~~

Two horses were walking back to the paddock after a day’s training. One says to the other, “I can’t understand why we are so slow, we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers, and yet we come last in every race.”

There was a dog running along side them who overheard and said, “I know what your problem is. I’ve seen you race and it looks to me like you begin the race really fast and use up all your energy too soon. Then towards the end, you have nothing left. What you should do is pace yourselves, and when all the other horses are exhausted, put in a spurt and you’re sure to win. What do you think of that?”

The horses looked at one another and said, “WOW, a talking dog!”

~~~

Without geometry, life is pointless.

~~~

A man walks into a dentist’s surgery and says, “Excuse me, can you help me. I think I’m a moth.”  

Dentist: “You don’t need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist.”  

Man: “Yes, I know.”  

Dentist: “So why did you come in here?”  

Man: “The light was on.”  

~~~

“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.”

Anonymous

~~~

Engineering classes at the University of Maryland are tough, and struggling students sometimes go to extremes in order to pass. Grading exams one semester, I got to this question: “What is the relationship between kinetic and potential energy?”  

One student, obviously stumped, decided to get clever and wrote, “As far as I know, they’re just friends, but there could be something else going on there.”  

~~~

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other’s worth.

Robert Southey

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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