Ray's musings and humor

Archive for June, 2009

I have reason to be grateful

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Melodie Beattie

 

 

 

I am truly grateful for the good fortune that I have had over my lifetime. Sure I like most people have had my share of problems but they have not lasted and in most cases they increased my capacity to deal with life’s challenges. I can add another example today. One week ago this morning I could not sit or stand and was in the hospital limited to total bed rest except to be wheeled away for tests. As you know they diagnosed my problem as being caused by a stroke. On Wednesday I was evaluated by Physical Therapists who felt that I would be able to almost fully recover with extensive therapy and that it might take as much as a year. On Thursday I was more mobile and was able to stand with a walker and was released from the hospital. Each day since I have seen dramatic improvement to the point that yesterday afternoon I quit using the walker. This morning I was fully mobile with only slight dizziness.

Now the miraculous news, I just got home from a full review of my capabilities and passed with flying colors. The evaluators reported to my Neurologist that there was no need for any additional therapy.

I still am not yet cleared to drive and it will be a few weeks of no problems before all restrictions are lifted but I am ecstatic. I was resigned to a long recovery period and now it will all soon be over. Yep I am truly grateful and will chalk up another reason to do what I can for those who have not been as lucky as I have been.

~~~

How true it is that,

if we are cheerful and contented,

all nature smiles,

the air seems more balmy,

the sky clearer,

the earth has a brighter green…

the flowers are more fragrant…

and the sun, moon, and stars

all appear more beautiful,

and seem to rejoice with us.

Orison Swett Marden

~~~

An old Jewish man reads about Einstein’s theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.

"Well, zayda, it’s sort of like this.  Einstein says that if you’re having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a minute seems like an hour.  But if you’re sitting with a beautiful woman on your lap, an hour seems like a minute."

The old man considers this profound bit of thinking for a moment and says, "And from this he makes a living?"

~~~

Each one of us can work for a small change in the world around us.

Lamar S. Smith

~~~

This guy was sitting in his attorney’s office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer said.

"Give me the bad news first."

"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."

"That’s the bad news?" asked the man incredulously. "I can’t wait to hear the terrible news."

"The terrible news is that it’s of you and your secretary."

~~~

"He knows so little and knows it so fluently."

Ellen Glasgow

~~~

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris’ Last Will and Testament.

"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.

To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar.

To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.

And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill."

~~~

It ain’t necessarily so, but when people with money meet people with experience, the people with experience tend to get the money and the people with the money tend to get experience.

Joe Klock

~~~

Linda was driving her old beat up car on the Highway with her 7 year old son. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her.

After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind.

Linda looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. She waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, "Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?"

Her son piped up from the back seat, "I do… because you couldn’t catch the other cars!"

~~~

My wife is a person who is never outspoken.

~~~

A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn’t gotten the license number.  "What kind of car was he driving?" the husband asked. "I don’t know," she said. "I never can tell one car from another." At that, the man decided the time had come for a learning course, and so for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make. It worked.  About a week later she bounded in with a pleased expression on her face.

"Darling," she said with obvious pride, "I just hit a brand new Buick!"

~~~

"Thought is action in rehearsal."

Sigmund Freud

~~~

Everyone had weighed in, and our diet-workshop leader began her lecture on the week’s topic – the problems of dining out. She talked about alternatives, such as requesting diet sodas and dressings, and having meat broiled instead of fried. Finally she turned the question over to the group for discussion. "What is the greatest problem you encounter when going out to eat?"

Replied one woman quickly, "Running into you!"

~~~

No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn’t work anyway.

~~~

The bank where I work had just installed its first 24- hour cash machine. I encouraged an elderly gentleman to take an application for the new plastic identification cards, explaining that he would be able to get cash any time of day or night.

He declined, saying, "Lady, anything I’d need money for that late at night I shouldn’t be doing."

~~~

"Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality."

Jules de Gaultier

~~~

Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per person.

"However, if you’re over 65," he said, "the price will be only $5.50."

From the back of the congregation, a woman’s voice rang out, "Do you really think I’d give you that information for only fifty cents?"

~~~

To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action.  Nothing that is done for you is a matter of course.  Everything originates in a will for the good, which is directed at you.  Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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Ray’s Hospital Philosophy

“I lay in the bed at the hospital and said, ‘let’s see what I have left.’ And I could see, I could speak, I could think, I could read. I simply tabulated my blessings, and that gave me a start.”

Dale Evans Rogers

 

 

I want to thank those of you who sent me your get well wishes and prayers. I pleased to report it is working extremely well. In fact the progress to date has allowed me to move my physical capability assessment forward to tomorrow morning, I still will not be able to drive until cleared via a driving capability assessment later this week. I will also have to limit my activities somewhat until cleared by the docs in four weeks, so I will be on kind of a mini vacation until then. If you have been holding your e-mails at my request you can again send them on.

Of course the last shoe to drop will be the review with the Neurosurgeon to see if anything has to be done with the newly discovered brain aneurysm. Hopefully that will take place in the next few days.

I mentioned the other day that I would share some of my hospital random thoughts with you, so here goes.

Ray’s Hospital Thoughts

  • Make sure you have someone with you who knows you and what is going on. The staff and ER personal will need questions answered and will be providing information that may be difficult to remember so having someone there to help makes a difference.
  • It is important to be a patient patient since everything can not happen at once and there are other patients in the x-ray, diagnostic, hospital room, etc. cues.
  • Keep your sense of humor. There is no use focusing on the negative. When you can smile and make light comments the staff will respond gratefully and you will feel better.
  • Time marches on, the problem you face has happened, instead of focusing on what is wrong focus on what is going on around you, there is all kinds of activity geared towards providing your care. I find that if you focus on the now and not on the worse that might happen you’ll feel better and you won’t cause yourself undue stress.
  • Like I have reported before I seem to have the ability not to worry until it is too late. While I was totally unable to stand or walk I took an interest in the process I was going through. I expected that I would probably have a long period of rehab but in the end all would be OK. I never expected things would go as well as they have, but I never let fear take me down. My care givers did not know if it was that I was excessively optimistic, dumb or just realistic but they did often comment on my attitude.
  • Go with the flow. Not everything will be perfect. The food may be a little cold, the meds may arrive late and you may be woken up many times for blood draws and to check vital signs or other potentially bothersome events. It is important to remember these people are helping you and rather than complaining we should be grateful for few in the world get treatment anywhere near what we do.

While I certainly would rather not have reason to stay in hospitals as often as I have in the last few years I am glad I met so many good people while there, some have even become friends. So thank you all for I am better than expected due in part to your friendship and your support.

~~~

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men.

Cicero

~~~

Hospitals are not exactly places that provide a lot of laughter. However, there is one source that does produce a lot of chuckles medical charting. In the rush to write down a patient’s condition, the healthcare professional often charts things which are ripe for humor.

For example, here are some things the medical staff have written on patient’s charts:

  • Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • On the third day, the knee was better, and on the forth day, it had completely disappeared
  • Discharge status: alive, but without permission.
  • Patient was admitted through the emergency department. I examined her on the floor.
  • The patient is a 90-year-old white female with multiple medical problems as well as severe osteoporosis that has been living with her daughter.
  • The patient left the hospital feeling much better, except for her original complaints.
  • I saw the patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
  • Patient left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  • Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
  • The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
  • The test indicated abnormal lover function.
  • The patient is numb from her toes down.
  • The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
  • The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
  • The patient said her neck was increasing in size where we took it off.
  • I’ve suggested to the patient that he loosen his pants before standing and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor. The patient stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
  • Patient refuses an autopsy.

~~

When our perils are past, shall our gratitude sleep?

George Canning

~~~

A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?"

"Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.

~~~

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

~~~

TO: Medical Personnel

FROM: Human Resource

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.

Cardiac patients should not be referred to with MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

Trauma patients are not FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper". Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."

Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."

The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen", nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge".

And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), or NLPR (no long playing records).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper, narratives and log entries.

Sincerely,

Directory of Human Resource

~~~

To array a man’s will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine.

Henry Ward Beecher

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

I didn’t forget, I was in the hospital

“Here is the rule to remember in the future, When anything tempts you to be bitter: not, ”This is a misfortune” but ”To bear this worthily is good fortune.””

Marcus Aurelius

 

 

 

I am sorry about the unplanned suspension of the daily. I got up at 1 AM Tuesday morning and could not stand up. I was rushed to the hospital where I was until late yesterday. It turns out I had a mini-stroke that wiped out my balance capabilities. They also found a small brain aneurysm that appears to have been there for sometime. The good news is that with some physical therapy I have made miraculous progress. I am now mobile with a walker and can negotiate stairs and the like with little assistance, I even can walk short distances without assistance. I feel unbelievably fortunate and full recovery is predicted. I will not be able to drive until I pass a driving capability assessment late next week so that is bothersome as I have had to cancel a number of activities. I also will also have a progress assessment the week after next to determine if there is a need for out-patient physical therapy.

I will be seeing a brain surgeon soon to see if surgery on the aneurysm should be considered. The neurologists believe that my aneurysm is small enough that surgery probably will not be needed. We’ll see; if it is then I am lucky that I had the stroke for they never would have discovered the aneurism otherwise. So my friends I have again reaped good fortune from what very easily might have been something much worse.

 

I am still adjusting so I hope you’ll forgive me for offering another Daily from the past. If all goes well I’ll do better next week. Being restricted to bed for two days gave me a lot of time to think, if I can remember some of the conclusions I share them with you as time goes by.

Ray

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published on June 26, 2002

Good Morning, I thought we all could benefit by the second Ten Commandments:

1. Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.

2. Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.

3. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.

4. Thou shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway.

5. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.

6. Thou shall not borrow other people’s problems. They can better care for them than you can.

7. Thou shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now!

8. Thou shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It is hard to learn something new when you are talking, and some people do know more than you do.

9. Thou shall not become "bogged down" by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.

10. Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.

~~~

If I had my life to live over again, I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.

Nadine Stair

~~~

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.  His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

~~~

You’re getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

~~~

A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?"

To which Jack replied, "The holes are numbered!"

~~~

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

~~~

Evelyn sent us this:

Sadie and Yetta, two widows, are talking:

Sadie: "That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Yetta: "Vell…. I’ll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctual like a clock. And like such a mensch he is dressed. Fine suit, wonderful lining. And he brings me such beautiful flowers you could die from. Then he takes me downstairs, and what’s there but such a beautiful car…..a limousine even, uniformed chauffeur and all.

Then he takes me out for a dinner…Marvelous dinner. Lobster even. Then we go see a show….let me tell you Sadie, I enjoyed it so much I could just die from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and into an ANIMAL he turns. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!"

Sadie: "Oy! Vey.so you are telling me I shouldn’t go out with him?"

Yetta: "No… I’m just saying, wear an old dress."

~~~

There’s a wonder in the way we’re always free

To change the world by changing how we see.

~~~

An artist was traveling in New Hampshire in search of a scenic spot for a vacation. He stopped in a roadside store and asked a farmer about the place.

"Is there any interesting scenery up your way?" he asked.

"Not much," the farmer said. "Across the road you can see our neighbor’s barn, but beyond that you can’t see anything but mountains for 30 miles!"

~~~

"Mom," said the little girl, "Is it alright to say you are going to water the horse when you are giving him a drink of water?"

"Yes," said her mother, "that is the correct thing to say."

"Well then, I’m going to milk the cat!"

~~~

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.

Gilda Radner

~~~

One day a farmer died.  His elderly widow was always bedridden and very depressed.  Their son tried everything he could think of to cheer her up but nothing worked.   He spoke to the doctor and was told a shot of whiskey would perk her up some and should be given to her nightly. This would make it easier for her to sleep at night and should make her better humored each day that passed.

But the son knew his mother didn’t believe in liquor. So the doctor told him to put it in her food or drink. So the boy went home and put the whiskey in her milk. That night she slept like a baby and woke up feeling wonderful.  Each evening she had her shot of whiskey and milk and woke the following morning feeling more and more cheerful.

When the boy suggested one day that they sell the farm and move closer to the city, his mother said, "Son, you can do anything you want to, but DON’T SELL THAT COW!"

~~~

"If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them."

Will Rogers

~~~

Her week as a newlywed:

MONDAY:

It’s fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY:

Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY:

A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can’t say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY:

Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY:

I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

~~~

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

Mother Theresa

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

What we earn is our greatest treasure!

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes."

William James

 

 

 

As you know I often talk about our freedom to choose the life we want to have. I suggest that happiness can often be found if we are willing to climb out of the box that we and others have built for us. What I realized in conversation with a friend the other day that there are some that feel that all they have to do is decide to pick up and move on and all will be great.

Fortunately it is not that easy. I say fortunately for it is the process of getting to where we can find what we are looking for that is often the most rewarding part of life. Sure we can make choices. We can choose to have more friends, chose to get a better job, choose to help others and so on, but in reality many if not most things in life require us to be chosen.

Friendships, like respect cannot be demanded, it has to be earned. When we demonstrate that we sincerely care from someone, when we non-judgmentally share their pain almost as if it was our own, we will have demonstrated true friendship and be rewarded in kind. Sometimes I wonder why far too many of us demand others prove that they are our friends before we are willing to offer our friendship. In my experience the “What’s in it for me” folks have far fewer friends and happy moments than those who go through life trying to make life better for others.

What I find to be even worse is how some people seem to think they are already the chosen ones and don’t have to earn their way to happiness. These are the folks who complain the loudest about the unfairness of so many Asian kids getting the doctorial slots in universities never stopping long enough to learn that they got the positions because they earned them by studying long and hard all their life. The people who I respect the most are not the folks that sit around bemoaning the unfairness of the world while looking to place blame for where they find themselves on someone else. These unhappy people never have time to pick themselves up to do what is necessary to find something better.

History is filled with stories of heroism and achievement; stories of people who did not wait for fame but rather achieved it by always doing their best while overcoming any obstacle they faced. In the process they earned the glory that comes from a life well lived. And if the truth be known millions more have been the unsung heroes who have lived the good life and who at the end can look back on a job well done; well done because they earned what they received.

~~~

If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.

Henry Ford

~~~

It has been an interesting year in the Stock Market, I thought you could use this dictionary:

Momentum Investing – The fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value Investing – The art of buying low and selling lower.

Broker – Poorer than you were in 2000.

P/E ratio – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market keeps crashing.

Standard & Poor – Your life in a nutshell.

Bull Market – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market – An 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.

Stock split – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

Market Correction – The day after you buy stocks.

Cash Flow – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Cisco – Sidekick of Poncho.

Institutional Investor – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nut house.

Profit – Religious guy who talks to God.

Bill Gates – Where God goes for a loan.

~~~

Woman shopping for wallpaper to clerk: "Now we’re getting somewhere.  That’s the exact opposite of what I’m looking for."

~~~

One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan."

After dinner, William’s dad took him aside. "Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years.. She’s a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I’m afraid you can’t marry her."

William was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Dianne said yes! We’re getting married in June."

Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Dianne is your half-sister too, William. I’m awfully sorry about this."

William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news.

"Dad has done so much harm. I guess I’m never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister."

His mother just shook her head. "Don’t pay any attention to what he says, dear. He’s not really your father."

~~~

The reason 30+ year old women get carded is because the cashiers and bag-boys make bets on how OLD you really are and someone has to find out. They know you would lie if they asked you.

~~~

A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, "You know, honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son."

"Well, thank heaven," said the wife, "at least our James has nothing standing in his way."

~~~

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Mark Twain

~~~

Every Saturday morning Grandpa Walt found himself babysitting his three grandchildren…all boys. The kids always wanted to play ”war,” and Grandpa somehow always got coaxed into the game.

His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as Jason pointed a toy gun and yelled, Bang!”

Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless. The daughter rushed over to see if he was all right. Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, ”Sh-h-h, I always do this. It’s the only chance I get to rest.”

~~~

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

~~~

A man dies and finds himself in a small room furnished with a couch and TV. There’s another guy sitting on the couch, watching the screen. "So, is this heaven or hell?" he asks the guy on the couch.

"Well, there are no windows or doors, and no apparent way out," the man answers. "So it’s hell?"

"I don’t know," says the other guy, without looking up. "They did give us this nice big TV." "So maybe it’s heaven."

"Maybe, but it has only one channel," the man counters.

"Oh, so maybe it’s hell?"

"Well, the station it gets is pretty good…it’s PBS."

"So maybe this is heaven after all?"

"Yeah, except for one thing," the other guy says sadly. "It’s always pledge week."

~~~

Goodwill to others is constructive thought. It helps build us up. It is good for your body. It makes your blood purer, your muscles stronger, and your whole form more symmetrical in shape. It is the real elixir of life. The more such thought you attract to you, the more life you will have.

Prentice Mulford

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

Have a fun weekend!

Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Bill Watterson

 

 

 

I have a lot going on today and if the truth be known I also would like to take a little time off, so here is another of our past efforts. Fortunately we have so many new readers that this will be the first time they have seen it. Happily most of my contemporaries may enjoy it also since they won’t remember this edition‘s contents anyway, I didn’t.

Have a great weekend, forget you troubles and by all means smile!

See you Monday

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published on June 19, 2002

Why don’t you and I decide to:

Be strong enough to face the world each day.

Be weak enough to know we cannot do everything alone,

Be generous to those who need or help,

Be frugal with what you need ourselves,

Be wise enough to know that we do not know everything,

Be foolish enough to believe in miracles,

Be willing to share our joys,

Be willing to share the sorrows of others,

Be a leader when we see a path others have missed,

Be a follower when we are shrouded in the midst of uncertainty,

Be the first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds,

Be the last to criticize a colleague who fails,

Be sure where our next step will fall, so that we will not stumble,

Be sure of our final destination, in case we are going the wrong way,

Be loving to those who love us,

Be loving to those who do not love us for they may change,

Above all, be ourselves!

~~~

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach.

 Anne Morrow Lindbergh

~~~

More headline news you may have missed:

Deer Kill 17,000

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

~~~

Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?

Desmond: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!

~~~

Signs that you are in the 21st Century

———————————-

-You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

-You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven’t spoken with your neighbor yet this year.

-You call your son’s beeper to let him know it’s time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, What’s for dinner?

-Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.

~~~

WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.

~~~

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon."

How do you know what to say?" he asked.

"Why, God tells me", the farther replied.

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

~~~

I love visiting my sister-in-law in Florida in the summertime; I have learned while there that:

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt, and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

~~~

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don’t have to. My Mom is a good cook."

~~~

Sam and Gilda Shapiro are having marriage problems. After counseling with their rabbi they decide to just end their union.  After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to finalize their break-up.

The judge asks the husband, "What has brought you to the point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?"

The husband says, "In the six weeks we’ve been back together, we haven’t been able to agree on one thing."

The wife interjects, "Seven weeks, your honor!"

~~~

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."

~~~

"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist. "I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. And you can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact I woke up immediately, and couldn’t get back to sleep.

"I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought maybe you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream."

The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: "A Coke? You call that a breakfast?"

~~~

"We are all faced with great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations."

~~~

The demanding woman was busy giving the patient clerk a difficult time. Nothing the clerk produced was exactly what the woman wanted. In a fit of exasperation, the pernickety woman said in annoyance, "Isn’t there a smarter clerk to serve me?"

"No," said the clerk. "When the smarter clerk saw you coming, he ran and hid!"

~~~

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try."

Beverly Sills

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

What size is your glass?

The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose

Kahlil Gibran

 

 

 

The other day I spent a few hours with a guy who spent most of the time telling me why nothing could make his future brighter. Unhappily I left feeling he was defeated before he started and used his perceived victimization as the rationale for all of his problems. He seemed to feel that the world was unfair and that it needed to change and lead him to great things. At times I felt like he was telling me he was too good to have to do what was necessary for him to get out of the doldrums. I left somewhat depressed for I fear that he may never find the happiness he desires.

Of course I got into the half glass analysis as I rode away. Is it half full or half empty, or is it like an engineering friend said to me one time, it’s the wrong size. My friend Sally told me once that she did not have time to worry about the question as she was too busy cleaning up the overflow. She is one of those special persons that go through life finding joy everywhere she goes.

Upon reflection I think my engineering friend may have the real answer, maybe more often than not we see the glass bigger than it needs to be and if we decide that we really don’t need an oversize tumbler to contain our life we would find more satisfaction.

When I got home I dug up something my late friend Jack sent me in 2007 that address the traditional question, here is what he sent:

We are all familiar with the metaphorical story of two people looking at the same glass and one perceiving it as half-full while the other sees it as half-empty. As much as we’ve heard this, it’s still a valuable exercise to really observe our minds and notice whether we are engaged in half-full or half-empty thinking. People will refer to themselves as being of one type or the other as if it was a permanent characteristic, but we are all capable of shifting into a half-full consciousness if we simply make the effort.

When we look at our lives with half-empty consciousness, we perceive a lack and think that the other half of what we want is missing. We are coming from a position of expectation and entitlement. On the other hand, when we look at our lives as half-full we perceive fullness. It is as if we recognize that our cup could be fully empty and so we are grateful for what we see as bounty, not something we expect or believe we are owed, but a gift. In half-full consciousness, we count our blessings. When we look at our lives we see all the elements that are in place and all the things we do have. This doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t seek more, but we seek from a place of fullness instead of from a place of lack. This fullness draws positive energy into our lives and often attracts more abundance.

If you would like to begin to make the shift into half-full consciousness, try imagining your life as an empty glass. This is your life without all the people you know, the work you do, your home, or your current state of physical wellbeing. This is just an empty, open space waiting to be filled. Once you have that feeling of openness in your mind, begin filling it with all the people, things, and places that make up your life. You may be surprised to find your glass overflowing.

I would only like to add that we don’t have to live with the glass we are given, we can select the one we want and fill it as full as we wish. The hand that is on the faucet is our own and what goes into the glass is under our control and not under the control of others. For me I choose to be happy with what I have and sometimes I even get to be like Sally, just letting the glass overflow without spending too much time wondering why I am so fortunate.

~~~

For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use being anything else.

Sir Winston Churchill

~~~

Heard on the answering machine

1. Me no here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply.

2. "Suicide Hotline…please hold."

3. Hellooo….Hellloooo, well if you won’t talk to me maybe you’ll talk to this machine, it’s at home and I’m not, leave a message and it’ll give it to me when I return.

4. Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can’t come to the phone right now. He’s either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your name and number after the beep and he will return your call.

5. (With loud music playing in the background) "Hello… HELLO?? I can’t hear you! What? Oh.. we’re not home, leave a message.

6. Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

7. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

8. "Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

9. We’re sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

10. Hello, this is Susan. I don’t live here, so if you were trying to call me, you’ve dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don’t guarantee that one of them will call you back — only that I won’t.

~~~

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

~~~

What Your Baby Would Tell You

On life’s pleasures:

Don’t be jealous, but I think I’m in love with the ceiling fan

I know where the remote control is, but it’ll cost you

To you, it’s just an empty egg carton; to me, it’s PlayStation 2

Actually, I don’t mind sitting in a bathtub that I’ve peed in

On life’s pain:

Two words I’d rather not hear from you: rectal thermometer

On the ignorance of parents:

I’ve told you five times what a cow says.  If you can’t remember, I’m not telling you again

There is no question that I can cry longer than you can listen

I’m not just wildly throwing my food.  I’m exploring the laws of gravity, estimating mass, and testing wind velocity

If you wanted a good sleeper, you should have gotten a cat

On life’s great questions:

Who the heck is that baby in the mirror you keep asking me about?

If my bottom is so darn cute, why is someone always trying to cover it up?

Who are you two to tell me how important it is to sleep alone?

A final thought:

What you secretly believe is true: I am much smarter than other babies

~~~

She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.

Anita Brookner

~~~

A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey.

"If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against it. 

But, if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for it.

This is my position, and I will not compromise."

~~~

Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

Where do you spend your time?

If you remain in your comfort zone you will not go any further.

Catherine Pulsifer

 

 

 

I have often talked about the adventure that can be found just around the corner or over the hill for those who are willing to venture out of their current comfort zone. I have found that it is often the fear of the unknown that provides walls that we are afraid to climb even though there may be a field filled with reward on the other side. Fortunately when we do venture out life becomes more interesting even if we don’t find our fantasy land.

I know that life can be more satisfying as each year goes by as we move from youthful exuberance to our slower and more deliberate seniorhood. In fact I have found that it gets better as long as I don’t stop and become bogged down in the status quo. It is when we understand that change and occasional risk taking get the adrenaline going and add zest to life. Of course at my age it takes a little longer to get going even with an adrenaline rush, but that is ok for I have found that moving deliberately allows me to see more than I did when I would rush headlong into the future.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my comfort zones for they provide me a place to visit once in awhile to rest and recharge. Fortunately once recharged I become uncomfortable unless I soon get back into the mainstream.

In all honestly I believe that my visits to my comfort zones are therapeutic. What started today’s thoughts was the realization last week as I watched Disney’s UP at a local movie theatre while munching on heavily buttered popcorn just how relaxing a feel good movie is for me. Later I inventoried my other comfort zones, Here is a list of a few of them:

  • an afternoon nap.
  • listening to audio books as I drive from place to place.
  • being with friends who share their joys and sorrows.
  • visiting a farmers market and buying homemade and homegrown foods that provide amazing taste rewards.

So Disney folks, thank you for opening my eyes to my really great comfort zones that I so often take for granted. My review also helped me to see how standing at the edge of a comfort zone provides me the very best platform to dive into the next great opportunity to do something worthwhile.

May I ask you a question? What are your comfort zones? Do you just visit them and if so how often? If you stay in your zone is it really a comfort zone or the anchor that keeps you from finding a more interesting and rewarding life?

~~~

My Comfort Zone – A Poem

Author Unknown

 

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail.

The same four walls and busywork were really more like jail.

I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,

But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.

 

I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much.

I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such.

I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,

But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

 

I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win.

I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.

I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,

I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

 

If you’re in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out,

Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.

A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.

Reach for your future with a smile; success is there for you!

~~~

Good News!!!

The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund.

They say the house didn’t float very far at all.

The "National Enquirer" just loved those pictures of you at work.

Jerry Springer wants to surprise you on his show.

The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.

The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.

The thieves left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers.

Those Grand Juries always over-react.  Don’t worry about it.

The boss said while you’re sick, he’d do all your work personally.

~~~

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

~~~

How to check the weather.

Get a rock from somewhere, and place it somewhere like in your yard or something!

That’s all you have to do, and your ready for forecasting!!!!!

If you don’t want to use a rock, you can use a horse, works just as well!!!

If it’s dry ——Weather’s Clear

If it’s wet —–It’s Raining

If its white —It’s Snowing

If it’s gone —Tornado

~~~

Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you.

Sam Keen

~~~

She said:

It was the third day my husband, Joe, had been in the intensive care unit following his fifth surgery for the removal of most of his remaining small intestine. The surgery took many more hours than expected. Joe was older and weaker, and he wasn’t responding.

As I sat beside his bed, two nurses tried repeatedly to get him to cough, open his eyes, move a finger – anything to let them know he could hear them. He didn’t respond. I sat praying to God to please help Joe respond – any sign that he might survive.

Finally, one of the nurses turned to me and suggested that perhaps if she knew something personal about our family, she could try to stimulate his response with that knowledge. She said, "Maybe you, as his daughter, could help us with such information."

I smiled and said, "I’ll be happy to give you personal information, and thank you for the compliment, but I’m his wife of forty-three years, not his daughter, and we’re about the same age."

The nurse looked at me and said, "The entire staff thought you were his daughter and had even commented how wonderful they thought it was that his daughter was with him all the time."

As they were expressing how I looked so young, a little cough came from my husband, and we all turned to stare at him. He didn’t open his eyes, but loud and clear he said, "She dyes her hair!"

~~~

A lady is a woman who makes it easy for a man to be a gentleman.

American Proverb

~~~

Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

"Oh?" replied the man." Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own business!!"

~~~

You have reached the pinnacle of success as soon as you become uninterested in money, compliments, or publicity.

O. A. Battista

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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