Ray's musings and humor

Archive for April, 2019

We need more like him

Ray’s Daily

April 30, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

Everybody can be great….because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.

Author Unknown

Richard_Lugar

Former Senator Dick Lugar passed away a few days ago. He was a great mayor of my city before he excelled as a Senator, statesman and more. He had a major impact on my life by getting me involved in civic activities when he was Mayor. Over the years I met with him in Washington and Indianapolis and was always impressed with his wisdom and effectiveness. He will be missed. I am sending you a Daily from the past that is in line with the Lugar philosophy of civic involvement.

To Volunteer

As you know I have had the good fortune of being given many opportunities to serve via volunteering. I hope you do too and have the time to reap the rewards that come from working with others while building better lives.

~~~

Why Be A Volunteer?

 It’s not for the money;

It’s not for the fame;

It’s not for any personal gain.

It’s just for love of your fellow man,

It’s just to give a helping hand;

It’s just to give a little of one’s self,

That’s something you can’t buy with wealth;

It’s not for a medal worn with pride,

It’s for that feeling deep inside;

It’s that feeling that you’ve been a part

Of helping people far and near,

That makes you a volunteer!

Author Unknown

~~~

She said: One day I called my mother from my apartment to make some plans with her. In the background behind her, I could hear a terrible noise, like a jet plane taking off.

“Mother,” I asked apprehensively, “what’s that awful noise?”

“It’s the dishwasher,” she replied.  “Your father fixed it.”

~~~

A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.

~~~

Soon after marriage, a lady’s husband stopped wearing his wedding ring.

She asked, “Why don’t you ever wear your wedding band?”

He replied, “It cuts off my circulation.”

She answered back, “It’s supposed to!”

~~~

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

~~~

A naive young gal was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on “Science & Nature”.  Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

~~~

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

~~~

You have just received the Amish computer virus. Because we don’t have any computers, or programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive and hand-deliver this virus to everyone on your mailing list.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

The Amish Computer Engineering Department

~~~

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

~~~

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin’ fools.  I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves.  Thirty minutes later, the same Irishman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman.

The Texan says “Yes,” and he asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately, the Irishman tears into all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and askes, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

The Irishman replies, “Oh… I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”

~~~

“It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.”

Helen Rowland

~~~

Mary and Bill go to an art gallery.  They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves.

Mary doesn’t like it and moves on but Bill keeps standing there and looking.

Mary asks, “What are you waiting for?”

Bill replies, “Autumn.”

~~~

“Make a bet every day, otherwise you might walk around lucky and never know it.”

Jimmy Jones

~~~

A little rural town had one of the highest birth rates in the country and this phenomenon attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; moved to town; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing their questionnaires and such.

While the staff was busy getting ready for their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local drugstore for a cup of coffee.  He sat down at the counter, ordered his coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate was so high.

“Sure,” said the druggist. “Every morning the six o’clock train comes through here and blows for the crossing.  It wakes everybody up, and, well, it’s too late to go back to sleep, and it’s too early to get up.”

~~~

“The ultimate expression of generosity is not in giving of what you have, but in giving of who you are.”

Johnnetta B. Cole

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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Sharing Happiness

Ray’s Daily

April 29, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“Happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy.”

– Gretta Brooker Palmer

Shared Happiness

Where we now live is like a small village. Our community is made up of about 160 residents and a hundred or so staff members. Like any small village we stay close and interested in our neighbors.

Many are compassionate and spend time helping those of us who have yet to learn how to be happy with what we have. The positive and upbeat among us share their happiness while brightening our day. They often lift the spirits of folks who are struggling with the burdens they carry. These good folks spend their days sharing their warmth and we all benefit from their presence.

Here is a story on how we too can contribute some joy in the lives of others while enhancing our own happiness.

OUR HAPPINESS IS WITH OTHERS

Everyone wants to find happiness in life. No matter what our circumstances, and no matter what hand we are dealt, the search for true contentment is at the heart of everyone’s goals.

The question, then, is how?  How are we supposed to even begin looking for it? A group of people gathered in a room attending a seminar about life and happiness to learn to find happiness in their lives.

They were being taught various skills and lessons about life. Suddenly, the speaker stopped and started giving each person a balloon. He asked everyone to write one’s name on it using a pen. All the balloons were then collected and taken to a another room. Now, these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, pushing, colliding with each other, and there was utter chaos.

No one could find their balloons within the given five minute time and they all had to return to the other room empty handed.

Then they were told to go to the other room and randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within five minutes everyone was carrying the balloon with their name on it.

The speaker began: This is exactly happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness, you will get your own happiness.

And this is the purpose of human life.

~~~

“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.”

Albert Einstein

~~~

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. “I feel real good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a five dollar bill to a bum.”

“You mean you gave a bum five dollars? That’s a lot of money to give away like that. What did you husband say about it?”

“Oh, he thought it was a good thing to do and thanked me.”

~~~

A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.

~~~

My friend Moishe owned one of the biggest and fastest-growing businesses in Miami, a furniture store. I convinced him that he needed to take a trip to Italy to check out the merchandise himself, and because he was still single, he could check out all the hot Italian women, and maybe get lucky.

As Moishe was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance with a beautiful young lady… she only spoke Italian and he only spoke English, so neither understood a word the other spoke. He took out a pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a taxi. She smiled, nodded her head and they went for a ride in the park.

Later, he drew a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to dinner. After dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted.  They went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious evening.

It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. Moishe was dumbfounded, and to this day remarks to me that he’s never be able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business.

~~~

Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities.  –

Frank Lloyd Wright

~~~

Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside.

One deacon ducked down and said, “I hope the reverend didn’t see us or recognize my pickup.”

The other replied indifferently, “What difference does it make.  God knows we’re in here…  and he’s the only one who counts.”

The first deacon countered, “But God won’t tell my wife.”

~~~

“True friends are the people who walk in when the rest of the world is walking out.”

~~~

The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone called 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.

“It was enough to make anybody faint,” he said.

“My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower.”

~~~

Why can you “slow up,” but you can’t “speed down.”?

~~~

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.

After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married.  “Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?” he requested.

Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

~~~

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

~~~

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other’s health one asked how the other’s husband was doing.

“Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!”

“Oh dear! I’m very sorry.” replied her friend “What did you do?”

“I opened a can of peas instead.”

~~~

“There is no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort.”

Charlotte Bronte

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

We all can enjoy

Ray’s Daily

April 26, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

. “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.”

James Taylor

enjoying-life-preview-1-

As you know my wife and I moved into an Independent Living community about six months ago. We went from a place where we were some of the oldest folks around to one where we are some of the youngest. As you can imagine making a major life style change to an unknown living environment can be a challenge.

We have found that rather than holding on to our past we could learn to enjoy our new life. I really don’t think we could do better than what we have now. Not everyone learns to enjoy what life has to offer as time goes by but we have learned it can be done, I recently read an article written by Hannah Braime that offered a check list of how you can learn to enjoy your life. Here are some of her suggestions that I think are keys to taking advantage of the happiness possibilities.

You Can Easily Enjoy Life In A Way Most People Don’t

Focus on yourself – Other people will always be on hand to offer up their opinions and advice. Ultimately, however, it’s we, and we alone, that have to live with the consequences of our decisions.

Make time to relax – Making time to relax and reconnect with ourselves leaves us better equipped to deal with more challenging periods.

Nurture your positive relationships – Make time to nurture the positive relationships you have with friends and family. Identify the people who lift you up and focus your energy on them.

Meet new people – Community is one of the most important needs we have. Making a consistent effort to meet new people helps us fulfill that need and introduces us to new ideas and perspectives.

Spend money on experiences, not possessions – It’s experiences, not possessions, that create memories and meaning.

Cut down your junk – Physical clutter equals mental clutter; reducing the amount of stuff around us fosters a calmer mental state, too.

Make time for gratitude and appreciation – Creating a routine of writing down three things we feel grateful for each day helps us focus more on what we’re grateful for in life.

Remember that all feelings pass – A key part of enjoying life is accepting that we’re not going to feel 100% happy 100% of the time. During the more challenging times, remember that life is one big cycle of ups and downs, and remember that all feelings pass.

Allow yourself to feel happy – Many of us find it challenging to enjoy a calm, “normal” life. Give yourself permission to enjoy a drama-free existence and focus on finding pleasure in your daily experiences.

Get active – Exercises releases endorphins, natural pain-relieving and stress-busting chemicals.

Practice compassion – When we can feel co – mpassion for ourselves and compassion for others, even difficult situations become rewarding and, ultimately, more enjoyable.

~~~

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

A young Army private seeks permission from his commanding officer to leave camp the following weekend. “You see,” he explains, “my wife’s expecting.”

“I understand,” the officer tells him. “You go, and tell your wife that I wish her luck.”

The following week the same soldier is back again with the same explanation: “My wife’s expecting.”

The officer looks surprised. “Still expecting?” he asks. “Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the weekend off.”

When the same soldier appears again the third week, however, the officer loses his temper.

“Don’t tell me your wife is still expecting,” he says.

“Yes, sir,” says the soldier resolutely. “She’s still expecting.”

“What in heaven is she expecting?” cries the officer.

Says the soldier simply, “Me.”

~~~

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

~~~

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.

The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds, he remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic.

He asks the girl: “Do you like potato pancakes?”

She says “No,” and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list.

He asks, “Do you have a brother?”

Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks: “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”

~~~

Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

~~~

Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before.

The first man signed to his friend, “My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble.”

The second deaf man signed back, “Boy, you’re lucky.  My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me heck for being out so late.”

The first deaf man asked, “So, what did you do?”

The second deaf man signed, “I turned out the light!”

~~~

Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife.  But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife would say,”. . .And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Thus, Webster’s Dictionary was born.

~~~

~~~

Participate in life instead of just watching it pass you by.”

Lindsey Wonderson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

No one’s better

Ray’s Daily

April 25, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“Comparison is the death of joy.”

Mark Twain

Be yourself

Have you noticed that some folks are so busy trying to outdo their neighbors or co-workers that they don’t appreciate themselves? I know nobodies better at being you than you, so trying to be someone else is not worth the effort.

Sure, it is OK to build on what you have to offer but not because of someone else but because you  want to be the best you as possible. Here is an edited article I saved years ago that I think is right on, do you?

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (and Start Empowering Yourself)

by Henrik Edberg

One of the most common and destructive daily habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other people and their lives. You compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity and so on. And at the end of the day you pummel your self-esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings within. And perhaps also outside of yourself. So what can you do? How can you get a handle on this habit?

Well, today I’d like to share 3 steps that have helped me to move away from this – it does take some time though so be patient with yourself – and towards a healthier outlook and view of myself and life.

Step 1: Just realize that you can’t win if you compare yourself to others. Just consciously realizing this is helpful. No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something.

Step 2: Compare yourself to yourself. Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals. This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done.

Step 3: Be kinder towards other people. In my experience, the way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big, big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself. Judge and criticize people more and you tend to judge and criticize yourself more (often almost automatically). Be kinder to other people and help them and you tend to be kinder and more helpful to yourself. So focus your mind on helping people and being kind. Focus on the positive things in yourself and in the people around you.

~~~

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”

Lao Tzu

~~~

Some Camping Tips

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

Modern rain suits made of fabrics that “breathe” enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat, should never be confused with a gnu paddle,a similar device used by Tibetan veterinarians.

Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping: Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.

It’s entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.

Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.

~~~

A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.

~~~

“What do you love most about me,” a husband asked his wife, “my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?”

“What I love most about you,” responded the man’s wife, “is your incredible sense of humor.”

~~~

It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

A Blonde’s Cookbook

Monday: It’s fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

Tuesday: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So, I didn’t dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper.

Wednesday: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly, but I took a bath anyway. I can’t say it improved the rice any.

Thursday: Today Tom asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

Friday: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

Saturday: Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. For some reason, Tom keeps counting to ten.

Sunday: Tom’s folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast, but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly, I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

Well, good night, dear diary. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come, so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with chocolate moose.

~~~

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

Buddha

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

You can do it

Ray’s Daily

April 24, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

Mae West

Exercise

I have been down with a sprained foot for awhile and am going to the doctor early this morning so here is another Daily form yesteryear.

Ray’s Daily first published on April 24, 2012

My coach/trainer/guru and I chatted for a while after my morning exercise yesterday, she kind of helps me get my mind started as well as my body since I show up at 5 AM and need all the help I can get. This morning we talked a little about folks who decide that they cannot do more than they do now. They are the proverbial glass half-emptiers who after spending much of their lives taking the easiest path soon end up with no path left to follow. They spend so much time going with the flow that they flounder when the tide turns.

I discovered that it is not easy on my friend to have folks with the potential to reinvigorate their lives to watch people give up before they start. I guess I had not thought about it much but she really is in the people reclamation business. In my case I think of her as a blessing and I am thankful that I am given the opportunity to take advantage of the gift of better health she offers. So rather than looking at my trips to the exercise pit as penance or drudgery I look at as the opportunity I am given to stay as well as I can.

You know, we are never too old to get it right. Here is something that one of our readers sent me some time ago that I liked, it outlines exercise for more than just the body. For you youngsters Ann Landers was our countries most widely read advice columnists during the last half of the twentieth century

Lesson Learned from a lifetime of reading Ann Landers

-You are responsible for your own happiness. No one can make you feel inferior unless you allow them to do so.

-People won’t stay mad at you long if you can say, “I was wrong, and I am truly sorry. I hope you will forgive me.”

-When something is troubling you, tell someone you trust instead of trying to cover it up. You will be surprised to learn that the other person has been through something similar.

-Don’t pass up an opportunity to tell people you care about them. You may never get another chance.

-Reserve judgement until you know all the facts. Even then, keep your mouth shut if no useful purpose is served by adding your two cents’ worth.

-Be grateful for your good health & the health of those you love. Be aware that without good health, money & success mean little.

-If you enjoy your work & your life, you are rich. If you aren’t happy with either, how can money help?

-If you are having a rotten day, don’t take it out on those around you. Simply say to yourself, “Today is a rotten day. Tomorrow will be better.” That attitude will improve your disposition as well as your digestive system.

-Spend time with your children. It’s the best investment you will ever make.

-Don’t be afraid to try something you think you can’t do. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

-There’s no such thing as the perfect man or woman. Look for the best overall package of kindness, consideration, ambition & intelligence. Otherwise, you will spend your life alone.

-You can respect & learn from people, even if you don’t like them. Be aware that you can learn something from everyone, because every person in the world knows something you don’t know.

~~~

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”

Lewis Carroll

~~~

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.

The Devil said to the lawyer, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.”

The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked,

“So, what’s the catch?”

~~~

A pessimist is never disappointed.

~~~

THE HISTORY OF MEDICINE

2000 BC:  Here, eat this root

1000 AD:  That root is heathen.  Say this prayer.

1850 AD:  That prayer is pure superstition. Here, drink this potion.

1940 AD:  That potion is snake oil.  Here, swallow this pill.

1985 AD:  That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic

2010 AD:  That antibiotic doesn’t work any more.  Here, eat this root.

~~~~

A man’s best friend is his dogma.

~~~

She said, as the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me.  One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse.  “We’re required to inventory lost wallets and purses,” he explained.

“I think you’ll find everything there.”  As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, “I hope you don’t mind if we watch.  Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse.  And we’d like to see just how you do it.”

~~~

Don’t worry about temptation — as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.

~~~

A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

“Leave us alone you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard a big splash.

“Do you think,” said one clergy to the other, “we should just put up a sign that says ‘bridge out’ instead?”

~~~

Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

~~~

Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Little Johnny opened the door. The teacher said, “Hello, Johnny. I would like to talk to your mother or your father.”

Little Johnny said, “Sorry, but they ain’t here.”

The teacher said, “Johnny, what is it with your grammar?”

“Beats me,” said Little Johnny, “but dad sure was mad that they had t’go bail her out again.”

~~~

“People who never take step 1, never take step 2.”

Zig Zigler

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

You can do it

Ray’s Daily

April 23, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“The biggest risk a person can take is to do nothing.”

Robert Kiyosaki

Risk

As I reflect on my past, I again realize that my life was enriched by the wide variety of experiences I have had. Few of them would have happened if I had not risked venturing into the unknown. I was often surprised that I was able to do what I did.

If I had something to offer the young people of today it would not to be afraid to take the first step. So many of us fail because we never start. Little success awaits the timed, it is those who step out who enjoy what the world offers. You’ll never know what you can do if you don’t try.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool,

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental,

To reach out for another is to risk involvement,

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self,

To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss.

 

To love is to risk not being loved in return,

To live is to risk dying,

To hope is to risk despair,

To try is to risk failure,

But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

 

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing,

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love….live.

Chained by his certitude’s, he is a slave;

He has forfeited freedom,

Only a person who risks is free.

 

The pessimist complains about the wind;

The optimist expects it to change;

And the realist adjusts the sails.

Author unknown

~~~

“If you’re not scared a lot you’re not doing very much.”

Robin Sharma

~~~

George, a career Army officer I once met, was jumpmaster for his unit and was taking up a few novices for a drop.  The flight was pretty rough, and, after a while, George called off the jump because of high winds.  As the plane headed back to base, and the pilot pulled off an unusually smooth landing, two of the neophytes got airsick.

“How come you could take that rough flight, but you couldn’t handle the smooth landing?” asked George.

“Well, Sir,” one trainee explained, “we’ve always jumped out of planes. We’ve never actually landed before.”

~~~

Something popped into my mind and left right away. Maybe it was lonely.

~~~

A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, “If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.”

The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. It is hot. The girl then takes out a fan and starts fanning herself.

The woman looks up and says, “If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan.”

The girl gives her the fan, too. Fifteen minutes later the woman gets up and says to the bus driver, “Stop, I want to get off here.”

The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at the next corner, not in the middle of the block. With her hand across her chest, she tells the driver, “If you knew what I have, you would let me off the bus right here.”

The bus driver pulls over and opens the door to let her out. As she’s walking out of the bus, he asks, “Madam, what is it you have?”

The old woman looks at him and nonchalantly replies, “Chutzpah.”

~~~

A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.

~~~

She said: I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath’.

For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.

~~~

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

~~~

A Psychology professor was giving a lecture on Bi-Polar Disorder.

“Let us establish some parameters,” said the professor. “Now then, Bennett, what is the opposite of joy?”

“Sadness,” replied Bennett.

“And the opposite of depression, Ms. Buston?”

“Elation and joy, sir.”

“And you Morris, how about the opposite of woe?”

“I believe that would be giddy up, sir.”

~~~

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

~~~

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-another had printed it.

“Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector.

“Yes, that was it!”

“You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at an auction for half a million dollars!”

“Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much,” replied the man. “It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin Luther.”

~~~

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess.

Louis Nizer

~~~

“That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-boyfriend.”

“I know, but I don’t hold any grudges.”

“I’m surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her.”

“Well, I had to swear to him she’s Jennifer Lopez’s double.”

“Wow! Is that true?”

“I wouldn’t lie. She’s twice her weight and twice her age!”

~~~

“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.”

Jim Rohn

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I wish I would of thanked them

Ray’s Daily

April 22, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“It doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you don’t stop.”

Confucius

encourage

One of the things I regret in my life is how I did not realize at the time how much I would owe people who encouraged me to do well. When I was a kid in a boarding school for children from broken homes there were a number of adults who opened my eyes to how much I could do as well how much I could learn. Later when I left high school to attend an electronics institute where my fellow students were veterans who had returned from World War II, one of the instructors took me under his wing and met me early each day to teach me advanced math, I was 15 years old..

I joined the Navy Reserve when I was 14 telling them I was 17, I was called to active duty during the Korean War, I was 16 at the time and when I got to boot camp a retired Chief Petty Officer who was called back to active duty mentored me and put me on special assignments that laid the foundation of my later careers.

The list could on for there were many in the later years who helped guide me to a pretty good life. We all benefit from the people along the way who nurture and guide us. I just wish there was a way that I could thank them all for I owe them so much.

Here is a story that reminded me how much I benefited from the encouragement of others.

The Power of Encouragement

Dante Gabriel Rossetti, the famous 19th-century poet and artist, was once approached by an elderly man. The old fellow had some sketches and drawings that he wanted Rossetti to look at and tell him if they were any good, or if they at least showed potential talent.

Rossetti looked them over carefully. After the first few, he knew that they were worthless, showing not the least sign of artistic talent. But Rossetti was a kind man, and he told the elderly man as gently as possible that the pictures were without much value and showed little talent. He was sorry, but he could not lie to the man. The visitor was disappointed, but seemed to expect Rossetti’s judgment.

He then apologized for taking up Rossetti’s time, but would he just look at a few more drawings – these done by a young art student? Rossetti looked over the second batch of sketches and immediately became enthusiastic over the talent they revealed. “These,” he said, “oh, these are good. This young student has great talent. He should be given every help and encouragement in his career as an artist. He has a great future if he will work hard and stick to it.”

Rossetti could see that the old fellow was deeply moved. “Who is this fine young artist?” he asked. “Your son?” “No,” said the old man sadly. “It is me – 40 years ago. If only I had heard your praise then! For you see, I got discouraged and gave up – too soon.”

Author Unknown

~~~

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”

Theodore Roosevelt

~~~

For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn.

He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide.

Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin.

“Hooray!” shouted the guide. “Here comes man’s best friend!”

“Yeah,” said the Irishman. “An’ look at the size of the dog that’s bringin’ it!”

~~~

“I was wise enough to never grow up while fooling most people into believing I had.”

Margaret Mead

~~~

A guy is at the Pearly Gates, hoping to be admitted, and St. Peter says to the guy, “I can’t see that you did anything really good in your life, but you never did anything bad either. I tell you what: if you can tell me one REALLY good deed that you did, you’re in.”

So the guy says, “Once I was driving down the road and saw a gang of bikers assaulting this poor girl. So I pulled over, got out my car, grabbed a tire iron and walked straight up to the gang’s leader – a huge ugly guy with a studded leather jacket, bald head but with hair all over his body, and a chain running from his nose to his ear. “Undaunted, I ripped the chain out of his nose and ear and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and, wielding my tire iron, yelled to the rest of them, ‘You leave this poor, innocent lady alone! You’re all a bunch of sick,deranged animals! GO HOME BEFORE I TEACH YOU ALL A LESSON IN PAIN!'” Impressed, St. Peter says, “Really? When did this happen?”

“Oh, about two minutes ago.”

~~~

“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”

Johnny Carson

~~~

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

~~~

Without time, everything would happen at once!

~~~

Two postal workers had just gotten off their routes for the day when one of the postal workers saw the other step on a snail.

“Why did you step on that snail, Tom?,” asked his perplexed coworker.

“Cause that stupid snail’s been following me around work all day!”

~~~

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, said a minister, a lot of folks must really love our church.

~~~

Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seem to go hand in hand.  I wasn’t surprised when a friend of my daughter showed me a Japanese symbol on her hip.

“Please don’t tell my parents,” she begged.

“I won’t,” I promised.  “By the way, what does that stand for?”

She replied, “Honesty.”

~~~

“A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.”

Author Unknown

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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