Ray's musings and humor

Archive for May, 2017

We all should be like her

Ray’s Daily

May 31, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Happiness

All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within.

Horace Friess

If you are like I am you know someone who spreads warmth wherever they go. I feel blessed that I have met many such folks through the years. They seem to be able to see the sun over the horizon on even the darkest of days.

I have a friend who has worked through many burdens that would take most people down leaving only pain and ill will in their wake. But my friend never succumbs to despair and I think she thrives on the positive reflection she gets from other’s that benefit from her goodwill. I think part of her secret is that she cares for others as much as she cares for herself and she lets them know that she does.

The following poem reminded me of how she inspires others and reminds me that I too can let others know how important they are to me.

     Just One

Poet Unknown

One song can spark a moment,

One flower can wake the dream

One tree can start a forest,

One bird can herald spring.

 

One smile begins a friendship,

One handclasp lifts a soul.

One star can guide a ship at sea,

One word can frame the goal

 

One vote can change a nation,

One sunbeam lights a room

One candle wipes out darkness,

One laugh will conquer gloom.

 

One step must start each journey.

One word must start each prayer.

One hope will raise our spirits,

One touch can show you care.

 

One voice can speak with wisdom,

One heart can know what’s true,

 

One life can make a difference,

You see, it’s up to you!

~~~

Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.

Author Unknown

~~~

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.”

The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.”

The next day there was a hailstorm. “This Indian is incredible,” said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather for the remaining of the shoot. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn’t show up for two weeks.

Finally the director sent for him. “I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,” said the director, “and I’m depending on you. What will the weather be like?”

The Indian shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know,” he said, “My radio is broken.”

~~~

“I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.”

Steven Wright

~~~

I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay. Do you hear me?  Stay!”

The driver of a nearby car gave me a strange look and said.  “Why don’t you just put it in park?”

~~~

I doubt, therefore I might be.

~~~

Women’s Dictionary

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman suddenly becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything  up, but, he, “made the dinner.”

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

~~~

Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you: you must acquire it.

Sudie Back

~~~

She said: I was scheduled to fly from Michigan to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions.

“Has anyone given you any packages that you didn’t pack yourself?” he asked. I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her son.

He looked at me very carefully and asked:

“Does she like you?”

~~~

“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.”

Franklin P. Jones

~~~

My cousin, a perpetual bachelor, owned one of the biggest and fastest-growing businesses in Miami, a furniture store. I convinced him that he needed to take a trip to Italy to visit a manufacturer and check out the merchandise himself. And maybe he could meet an available young Italian women.

As he was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance with a beautiful young lady. She only spoke Italian and he only spoke English–neither understood a word the other spoke. So he took out a pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a taxi. She smiled, nodded her head and they went for a ride in the park. Later, he drew a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded. So they went to dinner.

After dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted. They went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious evening. It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

He was dumbfounded. To this day he says that he’s never been able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business.

~~~

She said: All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, fattening, OR married to others.

~~~

When Brandon’s mother found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But Little Brandon overheard some of his parents’ private conversations.

One day, when Brandon and his mother were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. “Yes!” Brandon answered, “and I know what we’re gonna name it, too. If it’s a girl, we’re going to call her Christina, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it quits!”

~~~

A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity into smiles.

Washington Irving

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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I’ll do it now

Ray’s Daily

May 30, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Now-or-Later

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.

William James

Our long weekend is over and it was a very good one here in Indianapolis. As those of you who live in the United States knows yesterday was Memorial Day, a national holiday. The highlight for my wife and I was our opportunity to visit with our grandson, his wife and their new baby, our latest great-grandson.

On Sunday, the rest of the world watched “The Greatest Spectacle in Racing,” the Indianapolis 500-mile auto race. About 300,000 people were at the race which continued the more than one hundred years of drawing the largest crowds for a sporting event in the world,

The race ended a week of festivities and fortunately the weather was perfect for all the events. While the race had a number of mishaps, no one was seriously injured. It is amazing how drivers who were caught in horrific accidents at speeds well over 200 miles an hour were able to walk away from unbelievable crashes.

Now that things a getting back to normal I need to do the things that need to be done. The time for procrastination is over and maybe that is why someone sent me the following:

Small Actions, Huge Impact

BY LEO BABAUTA

Most people get hung up because of a few reasons:

  • A task or project is too intimidating/overwhelming, so they put it off.
  • Sticking to new habits is hard, so they fail after a week or two.
  • Life becomes overwhelming, because there’s so much to do, so many choices.

 

The problems with these common situations is that we take the big picture, the overwhelming nature of it all, and use it as a reason to not do anything. Instead, I’ve found it useful to pick one tiny action. It can change everything.

Some examples:

  • I have too much to do right now, I’m overwhelmed — so I do one tiny thing. I just start a task. I just move a project along in the smallest way. I just make a list. Something that takes a minute or two — I can do that!
  • I’ve fallen off a habit I was trying to start, such as meditation or exercise … and it’s causing me to not want to even think about the habit. So I just do the smallest version of the habit — can I pause for a few moments and meditate right now? Can I do a few pushups? This gets the ball rolling, and now the habit doesn’t seem that difficult. I just keep starting again, in small ways.
  • I’ve been putting off a project, and I feel pretty bad about it — so I just do one small thing with the project, and now I feel a lot better. All of a sudden, I can get the project moving with small movements, small victories.

 

Each of these examples is so simple, so tiny — and yet their impact is bigger than most people realize. The action is small, but the impact is huge. The victory might seem trifling, but it’s actually a profound shift.

What are you stalling on? What are you overwhelmed by? What can you take a tiny action on right now? Get an infinitesimal victory now, and see what it changes for you.

~~~

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.

Napoleon Hill

~~~

Joe had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. “What happened, son?” his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. “Did she accept?”

“No, she sure didn’t,” sobbed Joe. “When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get the hell out.”

“Did you begin by telling her what I told you to say, what I told your mother when she accepted my proposal? ‘Sweetheart, time stands still when I look in your eyes.’ Did you tell her that?” asked his father.

“Oh boy, dad, did I got it all wrong,” Joe groaned. “I said, ‘MY Dear, you have a face that would stop a clock!'”

~~~

I’m such an awful gardener that they have a wanted poster of me at the nursery.

~~~

A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies’ room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, “I’ll bet none of you thought I would make it.”

~~~

I’ve been collecting compliments all my life. So far I have three.

~~~

Things you don’t want to hear in a tattoo parlor

“We’re all out of red, so I used pink.”

“There are two O’s in Bob, right?”

“That call was for you. Hope you meet someone else named Tahiti Sweetie.”

“Gosh, I hate it when I get the hiccups.”

“Anything else you want to say? You’ve got plenty of room back here.”

“I’ll bet you can’t tell I’ve never done this before.”

“The flag’s all done and, you know, the folds of fat make a nice waving effect.”

“Oops … ”

~~~

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

After 20 years two college rivals bumped into each other. “Do you remember how I used to be so fat and flabby?’ asked the first. “Well, I’ve been on an exercise program for a few years, and now I run marathons.”

“That’s great!” replied the other man.

“And,” the first man continued, “Do you remember how I used to be shy and a poor student? Well, I took a course in public speaking, and now I make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year on the lecture circuit.”

“That’s great!” came the reply.

“Oh, and how about you?” the first man asked. “Have you changed at all?”

“Well, yes I have”, replied the second man. “Remember how brutally honest I used to be, and how when someone said something uninteresting, I would reply, ‘I couldn’t care less?’

“Well now I just say, ‘That’s great!'”

~~~

If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it.

Olin Miller

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Thanks my friends

Ray’s Daily

May 26, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Andy-Rooney

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

Andy Rooney

It was another one of those days yesterday, some really good things and then a not so good thing. The good news was I got e-mail from a dear UNICEF friend who is currently based in Africa. She was the primary public health nutritionist that I worked with during my days at Kiwanis International. We became good friends and have stayed in contact with each other for all the years since. She is highly regarded globally and continues to help make the world a better place for children.

There were other former colleagues who responded to yesterday’s Daily about Sir Roger Moore. There messages brought back a lot of fond memories of the times we had together.

The bad news was the discovery that our central air-conditioning unit has passed on. The replacement unit will be installed later today and will only cost twice as much as we paid for our first new car a long time ago. So instead of a vacation we will cool it at home.

As you know I love hearing from old friends and I often get messages from an old UNIVAC firend who lives in Minnesota. Here in part is what he sent the other day.

FROM ONE FRIEND TO ANOTHER

Written by Andy Rooney, a man who had the gift of saying so much with so few words.

I’ve learned….That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned …..That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve learned…..That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned….That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned….That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned….That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned….That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned…..That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned….That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am..

I’ve learned….That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned…   That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned….That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned… That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned…..That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned….That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned….That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

~~~

I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.

Andy Rooney

~~~

“How come you’re late?” asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar. “It was awful,” she explained. “I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course. “What did you do?” asked the bartender.

“I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!”

~~~

The American reading his Sunday paper in a state of lazy collapse is perhaps the most perfect symbol of the triumph of quantity over quality…. Whole forests are being ground into pulp daily to minister to our triviality.

Irving Babbitt

~~~

A couple’s happily married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in their household of old Aunt Emma. For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Eventually, the old girl passed away.

On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confesses to his wife, “Darling, if I didn’t love you so much , I don’t think I would of have put up with having your Aunt Emma in our house all those years!”

His wife looked at him aghast.

“Huh? My Aunt Emma!?” she cried. “I thought she was *your* Aunt Emma!”

~~~

Fancy Restaurant — One that serves cold soup on purpose.

~~~

A priest was preparing a dying man for his ‘long day’s journey into night’. Whispering firmly, the priest says, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil.”

The dying man says nothing.

The priest repeats his order again.

Still, the dying man says nothing.

The priest asks, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”

The dying man replies, “Until I know exactly where I’m headed, I don’t think it’s such a good idea to aggravate anybody.”

~~~

“I’ll believe in reincarnation in my next life.”

~~~

Bryant, a youngster about four years old, loved having ice cream after dinner every evening. He would sit on his mother’s lap and have a small bowl for dessert. Unfortunately, he developed the habit of licking the bowl afterwards to “make sure he got it all”.This went on for a while, much to his mother’s chagrin. Finally, trying to tactfully hint that it was not such a great idea, she said, “You know, when I was your age, my mother said that licking my dish was a VERY impolite thing to do.”

Bryant thought a minute, and then responded, “Well you can do it now if you like, because I don’t mind at ALL!”

~~~

Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

~~~

After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had backed the truck up to our garage door so that we could start loading all of the boxes. Just then one of our neighbors came walking across the lawn carrying a plate full of muffins.

“Isn’t that thoughtful,” my husband said to me. “They must have realized that we packed our kitchen stuff.”

The neighbor stuck out his hand and boomed, “Welcome to the neighborhood!”

~~~

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.”

Andy Rooney

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Thank You Sir Roger

Ray’s Daily

May 25, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Roger Moore & Ray

Sir Roger Moore and me

We all have a responsibility in life to do what we can to help those less fortunate.

Roger Moore

Yesterday was one of those good news bad news days. The good news was the birth of our second great-grandson. My wife and I look forward to seeing this addition to our family soon. The bad news was the passing of actor and UNICEF ambassador Sir Roger Moore.

Sir Roger played a major role in Kiwanis Internationals successful effort, in partnership with UNICEF, to improve the health of children throughout the world. As the staff director of Kiwanis’ first worldwide service project I had the good fortune to have been with Sir Roger on numerous occasions and was always impressed with his dedication, goodwill and concern for others. I was asked to provide my thoughts on his passing. This is what I wrote:

Sir Roger Moore

When Sir Roger Moore died Kiwanis International lost one of its most important friends. Sir Roger had accepted the honorary chairmanship of Kiwanis International’s first worldwide service project at its inception more than twenty years ago.

Kiwanis for the first time in its history had made a commitment to the United Nations Children Fund (UNICEF) to raise the funds needed to help eliminate the world’s leading preventable cause of mental and physical maladies in children, Iodine Deficiency Disorders (IDD). Sir Roger in his role as special ambassador for UNICEF stepped in and made a critical contribution to the project’s success.

The effort to eliminate IDD globally was the first time Kiwanis had ever engaged all members of the organization in an effort to protect the children of the world. Sir Roger was renowned worldwide and inspired Kiwanis members throughout the world to participate in the massive undertaking. Sir Roger attended Kiwanis conventions, major meetings and continued to generate publicity that helped Kiwanis receive international recognition for its work for children.

Because of the Kiwanis effort millions of newborns are protected each year from the devastating effects of IDD and it was Sir Roger Moore who was instrumental in that accomplishment. Kiwanis has built upon that success and continues to dedicate itself to improving the lives of children everywhere.

As a personal aside I was most impressed with how gracious Sir Roger was with the Kiwanis members he met over the years. He always went out of his way to let them know how much he appreciated them. He often talked about how Audrey Hepburn, who had done so much for UNICEF, had inspired him and I will always be grateful for how much he inspired us.

~~~

Teach love, generosity, good manners and some of that will drift from the classroom to the home and who knows, the children will be educating the parents.

Roger Moore

~~~

Simulated office experience when working from home…

Get up every day at 6am, iron a shirt, put on your suit. Walk half a mile to the bus stop, stand in cold for 20 minutes. Get a bus to somewhere miles away. Get off, stand in cold for 20 minutes again and get bus back. Walk half mile back to house. It should now be about 9am.

Decorate your ‘office’ with a stained carpet (preferably one made of carpet tiles, a strip light that flickers and a vending machine which serves not-even-close-to-being-coffee.

If you smoke, don’t do it in the building. Stand outside (in the cold) and move at least 100 yards up the street, to avoid tarnishing your company’s corporate image.

Have daily meetings, where the main topic should always be how to cut down on meetings so that actual work can be done.

At lunchtime, take another cold 20 minute walk to the local newsagent, who will be happy to supply you with a disturbingly cold sandwich from their fridge. The only one left will be egg.

Every 10 minutes, pick up the phone and say ‘Oh, you should have gone through to reception. Let me put you through… Oh, they’re not answering. Can I take a message?’ After this, scrawl something on a post-it note and wander around the ‘office’ for 10 minutes to simulate finding the message recipient’s desk.

At the end of the day, leave the office and perform the bus trips again.

~~~

If America has FREE ELECTIONS, then why are they the most expensive ones in the world?

~~~

Maxine on “Driver Safety” – “I can’t use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.”

Maxine on “Housework” – “I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.”

Maxine on “Body Piercing” – “I’d get my tongue pierced, but I still have a little bit of brain left in my head.”

Maxine on “Work” – “My performance at work has really improved over the years. Now I can nail a co-worker with a paper-clip shot from a rubber band at 20 yards.”

Maxine on “the Technology Revolution” – “My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.”

Maxine on “Aging” – “Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita.”

~~~

I’ve learned…. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

~~~

A prominent surgeon, who was a member of operating teams at both St. Francis Hospital and Christ Hospital in the Chicago area, would operate in the morning, then field calls about his patients in the evening.

One night, a few dinner guests were quite shocked as the good doctor was on the phone talking to a resident at Christ Hospital, when the other phone rang.  His wife answered, then whispered to her husband, “It’s St. Francis calling.” He whispered back, “Tell St. Francis I’ll have to call back. I’m talking to Christ.”

~~~

If I were here more often, I wouldn’t be gone so much.

~~~

She said: Our neighbor loaned my husband his old chain saw to trim some tree branches.  Unfortunately, the engine burned out while my husband was using it.  Not wanting to return a broken piece of equipment, he bought a new saw to replace it.

When I offered it to our neighbor, he thanked me but said, “Keep it. I’ll borrow it when I need it.”

I was turning away when his eyes lit up.  “Hey,” he asked, “want to borrow my car?”

~~~

Disappointments should be cremated, not embalmed.

Henry S. Haskins

~~~

Bill is sitting in his neighborhood bar one hot afternoon, drinking, and minding his own business, when all of a sudden this great big guy comes in and — WHACK!! — Knocks Bill clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big guy says, “That was a karate chop from Korea.”

Bill thinks “GEEZ!!” but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking and trying to mind his own business again when all of a sudden — WHACK — the big guy knocks him down…..AGAIN and says, “That was a judo chop from Japan.”

Bill has had just about enough of this so … he gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves.  He is gone for an hour or so, and when he returns, without saying a word, he walks up behind the big idiot and –Bong!!!”–Bangs the big guy off his stool, knocking him out cold!! Bill then looks at the bartender and says, “When he comes to, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears.”

~~~

Working with UNICEF made me grow up and recognize how fortunate I am.

Roger Moore

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Don’t Wait

Ray’s Daily

May 24, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

 Don't wait

Life is not a movie, so don’t wait around for someone else to write you a happy ending.

Over the years I have been saddened by the death of friends who never got the chance to fulfill their dreams. Too many of us spend so much time running life’s race that we never allow ourselves time to invest in our personal happiness. We put off the pursuit of a wished for avocation, the special vacation is always planned for next year, books go unread and plays go unseen because we convince ourselves that it just isn’t the time to do what we would like to do.

You know it really does not have to be that way. We can make ourselves one of our priorities and just do something now and not next year. Don’t spend the last years of your life thinking about “if only” instead of “I am glad I did.

Here is a piece I probably sent you before but if so it is worth your reading again.

Be Happy Now!

by: Alfred D. Souza

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we’re frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are. After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We’ll certainly be happy when they’re out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said, “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with… and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting … until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you’re off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink, until you’ve sobered up, until you die, until you’re born again to decide that.

There is no better time than right now to be happy!

~~~

“Sadly, retirement planning, in many circumstances, has become nothing more than planned procrastination.”

Richie Norton,

~~~

Three guys were working on a high-rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, “Someone should go and tell his wife.”

Bill says, “OK, I’m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I’ll do it.”

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack. Charlie says, “Where did you get that, Bill?”

“Steve’s wife gave it to me.” “That’s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?” Bill says, “Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, `You must be Steve’s widow.`”

She said, “`No, I’m not a widow.”

And I said, “Wanna bet me a six-pack?”

~~~

I’d had enough of my employees abusing their allotted break time.  In an effort to clarify my position, I posted a sign on the bulletin board:

“Starting immediately, your 15-minute breaks are being cut from a half-hour to 20 minutes.”

~~~

I wouldn’t touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole.

~~~

I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor.  The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear.  The lady, who was obviously crying, said, “Pastor, I was born blind, and I’ve been blind all my life.  I don’t mind being blind but I have some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more faith I could be healed.”

The pastor asked her, “Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?” “Yes I do,” she replied. “Then the next time someone says that hit them over the head with the cane,” He said.  “Then tell them ‘If you had more faith that wouldn’t hurt!'”

~~~

“As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed.”

Vincent Van Gogh

~~~

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board:

“Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.” Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an “A”” when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”

~~~

“A person becomes wise by reflecting on what happened to him when he wasn’t.” ~~~

She said: For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company. After a good annual review, my supervisor told me I was up for a raise, pending approval of the Vice President.

A month later, my supervisor called me into his office and told me the VP had refused to approve the raise.  His reason?  I clearly wasn’t doing my job!

“Huh?? Not doing my job?”

Every time he saw me, I was either chatting with someone in the lobby or talking on the phone.

“Duh!!”……

~~~

In high school, I was voted the girl most likely to become a nun. That may not be impressive to you, but it was quite an accomplishment at the Hebrew Academy.

Rita Rudner

~~~

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.

Earl Nightingale

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Happy Days

Ray’s Daily

May 23, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Choose to be happy

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.

Jim Rohn

If you are like I am you appreciate happy people. I know I gravitate towards those I know who spend their days concentrating on the bright side of life. Yesterday, like most days was made better by the warmth of the people I encountered as the day went on.

I was greeted at the gym early in the morning by my favorite gate keeper who has been blessed with a warm smile. I stopped at one of my usual restaurants where my friendly server shared both a smile and a picture of her beautiful children. And later I got a call from one of my nurse monitors to check on how I was doing and to wish me well, I have never met her in person but her smile comes through whenever she calls.

If you learn to be happy you too can infect your world with good feelings. A while ago Angel Chernoff wrote a piece on finding happiness, here in part is what she said.

Healthy Habits of Happiness

Savor the joy of simple pleasures. – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the best things in life are free. They come in the form of simple pleasures and they appear right in front of you at various locations and arbitrary times. They are governed by Mother Nature and situational circumstance and captured by mindful awareness. It’s all about taking a moment to notice the orange and pink sunset reflecting off the pond water as you hold hands with someone you love.

Perform random acts of kindness on a regular basis. – Pay for a stranger’s coffee in line at Starbucks. Buy the office receptionist flowers just to say, “Thank you.” Help an elderly lady with her groceries. There’s nothing more rewarding than putting smiles on the faces around you.

Help others when you’re able. – In life, you get what you put in. When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life. Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.

Share time with people you care about, and experience life together. – The quality of our personal relationships correlates directly with our overall sense of worth and happiness. Sometimes in the midst of life’s chaos we forget to do the little things that remind us we’re part of something greater than ourselves. We need a certain amount of meaningful contact with other people to feel fully alive. There are few things more satisfying than recounting the greatest moments of your life with your family and closest friends who lived these moments alongside you.

Accept things when they are less than perfect. – If you find yourself at a point of intense decision making where you’re caught in a spiral of over-analysis and you’re making no progress, take a deep breath, break the spiral, make an educated guess on the next logical step, and take it. Remember, the real world doesn’t reward perfectionists; it rewards people who get things done.

Invest a little time, energy and money into yourself every day. – Happiness comes as a side-effect of learning new skills and challenging yourself. Read, listen, adapt and stretch to accommodate new ideas and new information. You are simply the product of what you know. The more time, energy and money you invest acquiring pertinent knowledge, the more control you have over your life.

~~~

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”

John Lennon

~~~

Tips from the kids:

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.  Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.– Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.– Derrick, age 8

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I’d run home and play dead.  The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.– Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they’re rich.– Pam, age 7

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife.  I don’t want to be all grossed out.– Theodore, age 8

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys.  Boys need someone to clean up after them.– Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?– Kelvin, age 8

~~~

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

~~~

One of those physical fitness club franchises was preparing to enter the international market.  They placed ads in newspapers all over the county for people who could represent them on a tour.  The ad said: We’re looking for five men in peak physical condition.  Must be able to speak Spanish, French, Chinese, or Japanese.  Must be knowledgeable about weights, aerobics, and at least two major sports.

The day after the ad appeared, a heavy man of about 70 appeared in the offices of the fitness club.  “I’m here about the ad,” he said.

The bronzed Adonis behind the desk looked surprised, but decided to be polite.  “Do you speak Spanish or French?” he asked.

“Nope,” the old man said.

“Chinese? Japanese?”

“No, both times.”

“Know anything about weights or aerobic exercises?”

“Only that I wouldn’t be caught dead with either one.”

“How about sports?”

“I’ve never played anything more taxing than checkers.”

“I see,” the young man said.  “Tell me something.  Why did you come here?”

“To tell you to count me out.”

~~~

“Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.”

James Matthew Barrie

~~~

The young rancher came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup from the parking lot!”

Bubba replied, “Did you see who it was? The young rancher answered, I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”

~~~

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

Marcel Proust

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Sorry

Ray’s Daily

May 22, 2017

www,rays-daily.com

temporarily-out-of-service-1

Very successful people say no to almost everything.

Warren Buffett

I think I have told you before that I have often suffered from an inability to say no to requests from others. My failure to do so often resulted in my failing to do a task and even worse, disappointing others depending on me. It is really difficult when eleven people only ask for ten percent of your time and there are not ten percent extra hours in your day.

I have learned that saying yes can be a disservice to someone who expects you to fulfill your promises when it is difficult if not impossible for you to do so. Lately my health often keeps me from keeping commitments so I am saying no to requests that require me to be somewhere at a specific time. I realize I am doing no one a favor by saying yes.

Some time ago I was sent a copy Dr. Linda D Tillman’s article entitled The Power of Saying, “No” that offered suggestions on saying no instead of a reluctant yes. Here is an excerpt from her article.

The aggressive “No”

is done with contempt. “Are you kidding? Me, get your mail while you’re out of town?”

Sometimes the aggressive “No” includes an attack on the person making the request. “You must be crazy. I couldn’t take on a project that unimportant.”

The assertive “No”

is simple and direct. “No, I won’t be able to help with that.” If you would like to offer an explanation, make it short and simple. “No, I won’t be able to help with that. I’ve already made a commitment for Friday afternoon.”

Strategies to make the assertive “No” easier

  1. When someone makes a request, it is always OK to *ASK FOR TIME TO THINK IT OVER*. In thinking it over, remind yourself that the decision is entirely up to you.
  2. Use your nonverbal assertiveness to underline the “No.” Make sure that your voice is firm and direct. Look into the person’s eyes as you say, “No.” Shake your head “No,” as you say, “No.”
  3. Remember that “No,” is an honorable response. If you decide that “No,” is the answer that you prefer to give, then it is authentic and honest for you to say, “No.”
  4. If you say, “Yes,” when you want to say, “No,” you will feel resentful throughout whatever you agreed to do. This costs you energy and discomfort and is not necessary if you just say, “No” when you need to.
  5. If you are saying, “No,” to someone whom you would help under different circumstances, use an empathic response to ease the rejection. For example, to your friend who needs you to keep her child while she goes to the doctor, you might say, “No, Susie, I can’t keep Billie for you. I know it must be hard for you to find someone at that time of day, but I have already made lunch plans and I won’t be able to help you.
  6. Start your sentence with the word, “No.” It’s easier to keep the commitment to say, “No,” if it’s the first word out of your mouth.

~~~

“Be prepared to say “no” to some things. That is the key. When you say “yes” to every invitation, event and call, you will come back to meet you plans on the paper in the same state you left them.”

Israelmore Ayivor

~~~

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?

Have you ever run into someone who was gruntled, ruly or peccable?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

~~~

A foolish husband remarks to his wife: “Honey, you stick to the washin’, ironin’, cookin’, and scrubbin’. No wife of mine is gonna work.

~~~

She said: After shopping at a busy store, another woman and I happened to leave at the same time, only to be faced with the daunting task of finding our cars in the crowded parking lot. Just then my car horn beeped, and I was able to locate my vehicle easily.

Wow,” the woman said. “I sure could use a gadget like that to help me find my car.”

“Actually,” I replied, “that’s my husband.”

~~~

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza …

Dave Barry

~~~

Margaret was royally peeved! She was arguing with the druggist because her favorite cure-all could not be bought without a prescription. “Look, lady. You can’t have this without a prescription because it’s a habit-forming drug.”

“IT IS NOT!!!!” Screamed Margaret! “I ought to know: I’ve been taking it regularly for seventeen years!”

~~~

Make God laugh, “Tell him your plans”

Ken Hall

~~~

“Johnny,” said his teacher, “if coal is selling at $6 a ton and you pay your dealer $24, how many tons will he bring you?”

“A little over three tons, ma’am,” said Johnny promptly.

“Why, Johnny, that isn’t right,” said the teacher.

“No, ma’am, I know it ain’t,” said Johnny, “but they all do it.”

~~~

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

Winston Churchill

~~~

Bernie says to his wife Sarah, “Let’s go out tonight, darling and have some fun.”

Sarah replies, “OK, but if you get home before I do, please leave the light in the hall on.”

~~~

Our policy is to always blame the computer.

~~~

The young woman looked up from her hospital bed at the handsome doctor and said breathlessly, “They tell me, doctor, that you’re a real lady killer.” The doctor smiled, “Maybe so. But the jury threw the case out of court due to lack of evidence”

~~~

Mom, I’ll always love you, but I’ll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.

~~~

A small social club was trying to organize a baseball team. They could only muster eight players, but finally found a ninth to play. In desperation, they called on a new member, an Englishman, to join their team. During their first game, the Englishman came to bat. On the first pitch, he knocked the ball out of the park. “Run!” his teammates cried. “For God’s sake, run!” The Brit turned and stared at them icily. “I jolly well shan’t run,” he replied. “Why should I? I’m perfectly willing to buy you chaps another ball.”

~~~

The answer is, of course, to simplify, to prioritize, and in some cases, to use a well-known phrase, “Just say no!” But actually doing it may prove to be one of the real challenges in our complicated, overheated lives.

Russell Ballard

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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