I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
I am off with some friends on a bus tour to Branson, Missouri. Hours will be spent together with strangers coupled with days together doing the Branson shows I am sure I will make new friends. One of the things I enjoy most about my trips is the people I meet who turn into long time friends. It is probably appropriate that this trip is to the land of the old folks since I will be moving slow until I recapture my youth when I have my next heart surgery.
So off we go leaving our home to the house-watchers, mail gathers, and newspaper collectors. The trip is but a few days long and getting there and getting back will be a big test of my long time sitting ability. But I know the pilgrimage to Branson is part of the geriatric right of passage and while I am a little young for all of this I know that my traveling companions need a younger guy to help.
So gang, I am off, the Daily lights presses are shut down and only the cleaning crew will be working. Have fun, I’ll see you when I get back.
By the way thanks to all who made donations to my on line Salvation Army Kettle. We raised over $500 which is already making a real difference in peoples lives. I’ll leave my Kettle open until Christmas for those who may want to join us. As you know no gift is too small, it all helps.
Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves,
And it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I’d rather be a ‘could-be’ if I cannot be an ‘are’;
Because a ‘could-be’ is a ‘maybe’ who is reaching for a star.
I’d rather be a ‘has-been’ than a ‘might-have-been’ by far;
For a ‘might-have-been’ has never been, but a ‘has-been’ was once an ‘are’.
Joey’s teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls."
The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution, please advise, I have the same problem with his Father."
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the "good old days." Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, "Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary soon?"
"Yup, we sure are," Roy replied.
"Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked.
The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, "For our 25th anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our 50th, I’ll go down there and get her."
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Yesterday you took my license away and today you expect me to show it to you!"
Constant change is here to stay.
On his honeymoon, a very thick redneck farmer, Billy Joe, insisted on having a room at the luxury hotel with a balcony overlooking the sea.
On retiring for the night after the wedding, his new bride emerged from the bathroom dressed in some very sexy lingerie.
"Hey Billy Joe, come in off the balcony and see what I have waiting for you to savor for the first time" she said coyly.
"No thanks, I want to sit out here," he said.
So Daisy sat down brushing her golden hair for 10 minutes after which she invited Billy Joe once more to come in off the balcony to take pleasure of her virginal body. Once more he refused. Eventually Daisy grew tired of waiting and she retired to the wedding bed and fell asleep.
In the morning, she awoke to find him still sitting on the balcony.
"Why did you spend the whole night out there when you could have been making love all night?" she asked.
"Well my pa said the first night of my marriage would be the most beautiful night of my whole life – and I didn’t want to miss a moment of it."
They told me I was gullible — and I believed them.
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her now ex-husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.
"Honey," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six over-aged destroyers."
To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear. I’m sure you’ll miss your mother being gone."
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
A man came hobbling into the doctor’s waiting room, assisted by his wife. The poor guy could hardly move. He was bent over and grimacing with pain as he shuffled along, his hands like two rigid claws.
The receptionist looked on sympathetically. "Oh dear," she said. "Arthritis with complications?"
"No," said the guy’s wife. "Do-it-yourself with concrete blocks."
"Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical."
My niece, after living in several apartments, found one in the area where she had grown up.
"The best thing about this apartment," she said to her sister, "is that it’s within walking distance of the grocery store."
"What grocery store? I don’t recall a close by grocery store replied her sister..
"You know….." my niece said…. "Mom’s house."
Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.
The editor is somewhat senile.