Ray's Daily

Reckoning is coming

“It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities.”

Josiah Charles Stamp

 

I hope it is OK with you if I rant a little this morning before we get to the lighter side. Those of you who get my public affairs mailings will have already seen this so please jump ahead. Yesterday I wrote a cover for a column and used it as a vehicle to share some of my concerns about how we as citizens are behaving these days. So what I am going to do is take the liberty of using it in the Daily today and I would appreciate your giving what I wrote some thought. Thanks,

Ray

~~~

This morning I attended a seminar that outlined the $5 billion dollars that my city needs to find in order to deal with a crumbling infrastructure. $3 billion in projects are mandatory requirements to assure we have safe water in our streams, safe water to drink and sewers that don’t allow sewage to flood into our basements. The other $2 billion is for critical projects that we must undertake in order for us to deal with unsafe bridges, streets and other significant capital requirements. The irony for me is that politician after politician is promising further tax cuts while promising to solve all of our problems. Far too many of us think that we should do these things as long as somebody else pays for them. Not many stop to realize that we are somebody else’s somebody else and when all the somebody else’s abandon their responsibilities there will be no one else left to be somebody else.

What has happened to us? Right after the second world war our ancestors built a better country for us which we proceeded to let far too much of it age to the point that where much of it is beyond repair. I remember when the needs of our communities were a priority for those of us who lived in them. We knew there was no one else to make the investments needed to assure a functioning community both for ourselves and our children. We really can’t have everything but if we don’t provide a nurturing environment for businesses and citizens we will end up with nothing. Just who is ultimately responsible for the places where we live if not us? Who is going to educate our children, protect our citizens, provide us healthy air to breathe and water to drink if we don’t?

There are those who try to con us into believing that there is money laying around to do it all. we only have to cut waste, eliminate frills, improve efficiency and the like and there will be plenty enough to cover what we need. Unfortunately buying their pitch is not much different than giving them money to buy us the Brooklyn Bridge. What is so sad is that so many seem to think we are too dumb to know better. Unfortunately many behave as if they do believe them, I don’t think that appearance comes from a lack of intelligence but more likely our willingness to find any excuse for our not having to do our share. For me I know I am the other guy they are talking about, I also know that you’re another guy too and that just you and I alone are not going to get the job done. Maybe we should get on our horses and ride around the community like Paul Revere hollering that the day of reckoning is coming.

~~~

It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.

John Baptiste Moliére

~~~

FROM HERE TO MATERNITY — OH HOW WE CHANGE.

NAMED AFTER:

First baby: grandmother and paternal aunt for political reasons

Second baby: Daddy

Third baby: Daddy’s boss

GODPARENTS:

First baby: Bernard Ryan and Joy Smith

Second baby: Martha Dunn and either uncle Fred or Fred the Barber

Third baby: relatives

FORMULA:

First baby: fortified prepared infant formula w/ 1.25 water

Second baby: heated cow’s milk poured from a carton.

Third baby: cold milk, Cokes, and Kool-Aid

BOTTLES:

First baby: boiled 10 minutes, removed with tongs and rubber gloves.

Second baby: boiled five minutes, removed with beer can opener

Third baby: rinsed in cold water and dried on apron

HANDLING:

First baby: right hand behind head, left under knee, clutch baby close to body

Second baby: place hands under armpits and lift

Third baby: one arm around stomach

LENGTH AND WEIGHT AT ONE YEAR:

First baby: 15 pounds, 14 1/2 ounces; 26 1/4 inches

Second baby: 16 or 17 pounds, same height as vertical knob on TV set.

Third baby: Heavier than a bowling ball. Short.

SANITATION:

First baby: rubber gloves, face mask, scrub floors weekly, mosquito net

Second baby: use air freshener weekly, swat all flies

Third baby: keep the dog out of the playpen

BABY RECORDS:

First baby: detailed in gold embossed book

Second baby: written on back of old envelopes

Third baby: ask grandma

~~~

A woman tells her friend, “My husband is an angel.”

Her friend replies, “You’re lucky, mine is still alive.”

~~~

The doctor came out of the operating room to talk with the man’s wife.  “I don’t like the looks of your husband,” he said.  “Neither do I,” said the wife, “but he’s not home much, and he’s great with the kids.”

~~~

“Because we don’t think about future generations, they will never forget us.”

Henrik Tikkanen

~~~

Dilbert’s Words Of Wisdom

1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn’t looking good either.

2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

4. I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

5. Someday we’ll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

7. Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.

8. Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.

10. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”

12. My Reality Check bounced.

13. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

14. I don’t suffer from stress. I’m a carrier.

15. You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

~~~

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.

Johann von Goethe

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

You can too!

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

e.e. cummings

 

As many of you know I spend a lot of time with people who are going through life changes. Often these folks are facing the greatest challenges of their lives. As an example I visited with an acquaintance last night who has been out of work for twenty months and has used up most of his resources just keeping his head above water. And yesterday I had breakfast with a friend and caregiver who has to deal with her medical problems while helping those near and dear to her deal with their major health problems. What continues to amaze me is how so many of these good people maintain a positive attitude while staying as optimistic as possible. I know after so many years of working with people just like these two that they understand what really is important in life and put everything else in perspective.

The other day I heard a discussion based upon the concept of having two possible life paths, one based on having, the other based on being. If I remember correctly it was Eric Fromm who developed the differences between the two. The concern expressed was that we had become so materialistic that far too many of us measure our self worth by what we have rather than who we are. That has also been a concern of mine for some time as I see so many people missing the enjoyment that comes from jumping in and participating in life, appreciating all you get to do and see.

Both my friends seem to be doers and not collectors. I don’t know if circumstances made them that way or if it is the way they always were. I do know however if collecting material goods is ones focus a lot will be missed. The good news is that it does not have to be a permanent choice and we can change. The first step is to put what we have in perspective so that we understand that more, bigger, shinier and the like do not mean better. I probably shared the following with you before but if I did it is worth repeating.

Appreciating What We Have

Author Unknown

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who won’t survive the week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 20 million people around the world.

If you attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.

If your parents are still married and alive, you are very rare, especially in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you can hold someone’s hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God’s healing touch.

If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all.

You are so blessed in ways you may never even know.

~~~

How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.

Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel

~~~

Top 15 Clues That Your Company Has Been Sold

1. People you have never met assure you that nothing will change.

2. They issue new nametags without the company name on them. 

3. The company logo on our paychecks gets changed to something else. When this is questioned, we’re just told not to worry, it will be discussed in a meeting next week.

4. My paycheck did NOT bounce.

5. An announcement that on Monday we should report to the new building… in a different state.

6. English-German dictionaries show up on everyone’s desks.

7. The budget for your project suddenly doubles in size. Uh, how’d we get that much money?   

8. The pointy-haired owners are cleaning out their desks and their offices, of a company that their family has owned for over 40 years, but tell you that they are redecorating their office at home and want all their things there? 

9. What is this “Lot 642” tag stapled to my ear? 

10.  The pointy-haired boss called a meeting to let whole department know we weren’t being bought, everything was O.K. and don’t worry.

11.  I post articles to an online edition of the local newspaper. I learned the newspaper had been sold when I received an article to post about the sale.  

12.  You get voicemail messages from some temp company you’ve never heard of or called, who say they got your number from your boss.

13.  The boss starts doing work.  

14.  The ‘Coming Soon…’ sign on the front lawn…  

15.  A letter on your desk which reads, “Thanks for all your hard work, BUT….”

~~~

I’m not tense, just terribly alert.

~~~

POINTS TO PONDER

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?

Why do we sing Take me out to the ball game, when we are already there?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

~~~

“My friends accused me of being a hypochondriac, which made me think: What if I *am* a hypochondriac, in addition to all these other ailments I have?”

Jenny Wong

~~~

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer:

“As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say, ‘$75.’ … if his eyes don’t flutter, say, ‘For the frames. The lenses will be $50.’…”

“If his eyes still don’t flutter, you add, ‘Each.'”

~~~

A prudent man will think more important what fate has conceded to him than what it has denied.

Baltasar Gracian

~~~

A man goes to the doctor with a swollen leg. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse. “I’ll be right back with some water,” the doctor tells him.

The doctor is gone awhile and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room.

The doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water.

“Okay, after the tablet dissolves, soak that leg for at least 30 minutes.”

~~~

Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.

Doris Mortman

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ah, Adventure!

Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Samuel Johnson

 

 I had a great morning yesterday when I met with a friend who is leading an important organization that is breaking out of their traditional role in order to better serve our community. What I really like about my friend is her willingness to rise above the “We have always done it this way,” syndrome. I can’t think of anything as exciting and rewarding then her going where no others have gone before.

The thing I admire about my friend and others like her is that they don’t spend time finding reasons why not to do something, rather they say why not try something new. Almost anyone can stay in the safe harbor, never venturing out, just doing the same thing today as they did yesterday and will do again tomorrow. Fortunately there are those who break the bonds of tradition and create better answers that benefit us all.

In my case I am too old to worry about embarrassing my self by stumbling, going the wrong way or making a mistake, and if the truth be known it is not so much what I accomplish as it is the fun of trying. Life can be unbelievably interesting for those that adventure out into unknown territory.

This poem by Edgar Guest does a good job of describing what I mean.

 The Things That Haven’t Been Done Before

 The things that haven’t been done before,

Those are the things to try;

Columbus dreamed of an unknown shore

At the rim of the far-flung sky,

And his heart was bold and his faith was strong

As he ventured in dangers new,

And he paid no heed to the jeering throng

Or the fears of the doubting crew.

 

The many will follow the beaten track

With guideposts on the way.

They live and have lived for ages back

With a chart for every day.

Someone has told them it’s safe to go

On the road he has traveled o’er,

And all that they ever strive to know

Are the things that were known before.

 

A few strike out without map or chart,

Where never a man has been,

From the beaten path they draw apart

To see what no man has seen.

There are deeds they hunger alone to do;

Though battered and bruised and sore,

They blaze the path for the many, who

Do nothing not done before.

 

The things that haven’t been done before

Are the tasks worthwhile today;

Are you one of the flock that follows, or

Are you one that shall lead the way?

Are you one of the timid souls that quail

At the jeers of a doubting crew,

Or dare you, whether you win or fail,

Strike out for a goal that’s new?

~~~

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.”

Leo F. Buscaglia

~~~

Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks while gambling, the big, high- class casinos are now equipped with sophisticated defibrillators. They are computer controlled to deliver the exact electric shock needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you’re at a big, high-class casino. At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob.

~~~

“From your parents you learn love and laughter and how to put one foot before the other. But when books are opened you discover you have wings.”

 Helen Hayes

~~~

Rabbi Morris has just resigned and Irving, the synagogue president, goes to visit him.

“Rabbi,” Irving says, “I’ve just heard the news. I’m really sorry that you’ve decided to leave us.”

“Don’t worry,” says Rabbi Morris, “you’ll have nothing to worry about. I’m going to recommend a successor whom I believe will be better than me.”

“But that’s exactly what’s worrying me,” says Irving, “your predecessor told me exactly the same thing.”

~~~

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

Mark Twain

~~~

YOUR CHURCH IS A REDNECK CHURCH IF…

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t git out of.”

High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

~~~

Four things come not back–the spoken word, the sped arrow, time past, and the neglected opportunity.

Abbas Ibn al-Ahnaf

~~~

She said: My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice.  Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, “What should I feed Lily for lunch?”

“That’s up to you,” I replied.  “There’s all kinds of food. Why don’t you pretend I’m not at home?”

A few minutes later, my cell phone rang.  I answered it to hear my husband asking, “Yeah, hi, Honey.  Uh..what should I feed Lily for lunch?”

~~~

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM . – Like this: It could be a right number.

~~~

Little Johnny told his mother that he had been playing postman.

“Postman? How could you do that when you had no letters?”

“Oh, I had some letters,” replied Johnny. “I was looking in your closet up in your room and I found a packet of letters tied up with a ribbon and I posted one under every door on the street!”

~~~

“It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture.

It’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult.”

Seneca

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

I can’t stay long, I have places to go.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.

Author Unknown

 

While having coffee yesterday a friend and I discussed how so many of us seem to get bogged down as we move along our life’s road. As we spoke my friend talked about how we sometimes convince ourselves that is easier to turn back, take a detour or just get off at the next intersection. I suggested that most journeys require perserverance and tenacity which is not always easy if we can’t see far enough ahead to understand we are making progress. Don’t get me wrong I am a big believer in starting out and making that detour or taking that other road if we have discovered along the way that they hold more promise.

I know one thing we never get anywhere if we don’t start and we will end up wasting our time if we don’t start with a plan to get somewhere. Sadly too many of us just start walking, hoping that we will like where we might end up. Asking these life travelers where they are going and they will often say that they don’t know.

My friend is in the process of building a dream, a dream that can be fulfilled by moving on towards it without getting bogged down. The secret is to keep going, if we stumble we just pick ourselves up and keep going. Those who get there seldom stop and go back and start over again, nor do they waste too much time on unnecessary side trips. These savvy life travelers know what they are looking for and while they may not always have a perfect road map they are not afraid to explore the land until they find the path. As life goes on it is worthwhile to ask the question of yourself, “Am I there yet,” and if the answer is no understand that resting too long may prevent you from ever getting there.

When I got home I found I had a message from Ralph Marston that I liked a lot, here is what he wrote:

Keep yourself in motion

Get moving and keep moving. Put momentum on your side. Even if you’ve made some mistakes, learn from them and keep moving. Even if you’ve been disappointed, transform that disappointment into determination and keep moving.

To be more creative, innovative and effective, get yourself in motion and keep yourself in motion. When you’re constantly and willingly stepping forward to meet each challenge, you create a powerful positive momentum.

Get yourself moving quickly and consistently. Keep yourself moving so those things that normally drag you down won’t be able to keep up with your progress.

Action is a great way to overcome doubt. Put your energy into action and you won’t have the time or the inclination for doubt.

Even making just a little progress is massively better than making no progress at all, and all those small advances will soon combine to form a major achievement. Keep yourself in motion and you’ll get yourself to exactly where you want to go.

~~~

Nobody trips over mountains.  It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble.  Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain. 

Author Unknown

~~~

A Jewish kid informs his father that he’s decided to join the army rather than go into business.

His father, distraught, inquires, “What kind of job could you have in the army?”

The young man replies, “Well, I start out as a private, but I could become corporal or sergeant.”

“Corporal…sergeant….” the father says, “that’s no business.”

“I could become a lieutenant or maybe captain,” the young man responded.

“Lieutenant…captain….that’s no business,” father said in disgust.

“OK dad”, he replied, “how about getting promoted to major, or colonel, or general.”

“Still no business!” the father insisted. “Where could you go after general?”

The son answered, “I could become field marshal.”

The old man says, “field marshal…that’s no business. Marshall Fields, now THAT’S a business.”

~~~

Aim at Heaven and you will get Earth thrown in. Aim at Earth and you get neither.

C.S. Lewis

~~~

Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish.

He told the fish salesman, “Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?”

“Why do you want me to throw them at you?”

“Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.”

“Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy.”

“But why?”

“Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight.”

~~~

I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself.

Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

~~~

In a small town, farmers of the community get together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, the wife of one of the farmers stands up and speaks her piece.

After she’s done, one of the old farmers stands up and says, “What does she know about anything? I would like to ask her if she knows how many toes a pig has!”

Quick as a flash, the woman replies, “Take off your boots sir, and count them yourself!”

~~~

“In a word, I am always busy, which is perhaps the chief reason why I am always well.”

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

~~~

An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard.  He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. “Don’t ask me a lot of questions,” he told the boy. “Just do whatever I tell you to do.”

One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. “Get the hammer over there,” he said. “When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard.”

Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith….

~~~

One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears–by listening to them.

Dean Rusk

~~~

He said:

Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran into some difficulties while setting it up so we called the customer support phone number we found in the manual.

I picked up the phone and called the number. A man answered the phone and I explained the problem to him.

He began rattling off computer jargon. This confused us even more.

“Sir,” I said politely, “Can you explain what I should do as if I were a small child?”

“Okay,” the computer support guy said, “Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?”

~~~

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.

Buddhist Saying

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun. 

Ray’s out and about today

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

Andre Gide

 

I have a fully loaded day away today so I will again test your recall with a Daily from another day.

Ray

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published on October 21, 2002

My life is full of adventure, Kiwanis meetings and projects, a little writing, lectures at the senior center, and some volunteer activities. Pity my poor brother he never gets to do any of this, as you can see from the following satellite e-mail I got the other day.

 Dear Ray & Nancy,

Just a quick note to let you know we did leave Madagascar yesterday morning, the 17th, and have gone about 120 miles.  We had light winds yesterday and had to motor 8 hours, but the trades have now come back at 20 knots and we are going wing n wing at 6 knots.  Skies are clear, there’s a nice big moon, and all’s well.  1200 miles to go to Richards Bay, on the NW coast of South Africa. 

We have caught 2 fish since we left, one each morning, a wahoo first and then a yellowfin tuna (the best kind, like albacore).So we’re eating like kings out here.

Love to all, Paul and Susan

 Just he and his wife on a 35 foot sail boat, and this has been going on for more than 20 years. They use to sail exclusively in the South Pacific but now are working there way back to the United States, I would expect they will arrive sometime next year.

My wife and I would not survive even 20 weeks together in closed quarters, much less 20 years. She tried staying on a larger boat for a couple of days years ago, and that was enough for her for a lifetime.

~~~

A large volume of adventures may be grasped within this little span of life, by him who interests his heart in everything.

Laurence Sterne

~~~

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.

The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”

Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, “Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?”

Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough water.”

~~~

“Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow.”

Mark Twain

~~~

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl.  Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.

“Look,” she said. “We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other.”

“You’re wrong,” the young man declared. “For the past 5 years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his account.

~~~

Good leaders guide the willing and persuade the stubborn.

~~~

Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. “You know, honey,” I said sweetly, “Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married.”

“Honey,” he replied with a grin, “Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!”

~~~

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.”

Cher

~~~

Grandma Goldberg, a woman of 85, was slowly ambling down the street when she met her physician Dr. Cohen. Dr. Cohen, a dapper graying man in his early 60’s asked the elderly lady—“Mrs. Goldberg how are you feeling?”

For a long moment the woman gave the good doctor a terrible stare and then she said–“You ask me how I’m feeling! I’ll tell you how I’m feeling!! My legs hurt, my chest is sore, my heart is beating too fast and I can’t sleep!!! I have horrible headaches and stomach pains too!”

The good doctor looked at the elderly lady with compassion. “If you’re feeling so awful, why don’t you come and see me right away?”

Grandma Goldberg let out a sigh and said, “I was just waiting until I felt a little better.”

~~~

Q. What’s the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men?

A. Wife saying she wants to talk to him.

~~~

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine”.

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the centre of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens — the horse crashes straight through the centre of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me — it’s this bloody horse. What is he — deaf or something?”

The trainer replies, “Deaf?? DEAF?? He’s not deaf — he’s BLIND!”

~~~

Wear sleeveless shirts!  Support your right to bare arms!

~~~

Cheer Up!!!”

* The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund.

* They say the house didn’t float very far at all.

* Well, at least the operation was a partial success.

* The “National Inquirer” just loved those nude shots of you.

* With the lights dimmed, it looks almost normal.

* The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.

* The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.

* At least we never thought you were guilty like that Jury did.

* The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.

* Those Grand Juries always overreact. Don’t worry about it.

* The boss said while you’re sick, he’d do all your work personally.

~~~

Gene the lawyer was walking down the street and saw an auto accident. He rushed over, started handing out business cards, and said, “I saw the whole thing. I’ll take either side.”

~~~

Few will have the greatness to bend history itself. But each of us can work to change a small portion of events. And in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.

Robert F. Kennedy

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Never give up on hope

“Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive.

If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.”

Erik Erikson

 

I had coffee with a friend a few days ago who works as a Mortgage Mitigator, someone who does what he can to help those about to lose their homes because of foreclosure. Most of the people he talks with have faced job loss, monthly payments that have exceeded their ability to keep up and who live in houses that have fallen in value and now are worth much less than what they owe on their mortgage. He reported to me that most of the people he talks to are good people, folks that always have paid their bills and want to keep doing so but can’t. Some are even old folks who have seen their pensions reduced or eliminated, their life savings depleted or staggering medical costs that have taken most of what they had.

This is the toughest job my friend has ever had. He talks to dozens of folks all over the country each week and is only able to help a few. He feels the pain of all the people that will find themselves without a place to live and who have reached the stage where they have lost hope. My friend feels that something must be done for these people but he does not know what that might be. It is really tough to let ourselves fall into a place where we see little or no hope for hopelessness results in giving up, unbearable depression and often severe illness  even death.

I suggested to my friend that I would be personally focusing on those I have helped so I knew I had made a difference for some and care for those I can’t help while trying not to reinforce hopelessness.

I left my friend feeling that I needed to be sensitive to those around me these days who are facing financial, health, or other problems so that I can share my experiences how hope has worked for me so often in the past. I have found that hope often provides us time and the motivation to find alternatives. If nothing else hope can result in our examining what is good in our lives and what things that are really not critical to our existence. In my heart I know there is little to life without hope and I also know that hope often provides the bridge we need to walk on as we move from despair to a happier day.

So won’t you join me and become a spreader of hope? Let the following help you understand why:

7 Characteristics of Hope

Hope lights a candle instead of cursing the darkness.

Hope opens doors where despair closes them.

Hope looks for the good in people instead of harping on the worst in them.

Hope discovers what can be done instead of grumbling about what cannot be done.

Hope draws its power from a deep trust in God and the basic goodness of mankind.

Hope regards problems, small or large, as chances to discover new blessings.

Hope cherishes no illusions, nor does it yield to cynicism.

Anon

~~~

“Hope is the dream of a soul awake.”

French Proverb

~~~

Kids who understand:

“Remember you’re never too old to hold your father’s hand.” – Molly, age 11

“Listen to your brain. It has lots of information.” – Chelsey, age 7

“Stay away from prunes.” – Randy, age 9

“Never dare your little brother to paint the family car.” – Phillip, age 13

~~~

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

~~~

In the world of physics, we’ve all heard of the “Doppler Effect” which causes train whistles to sound higher in pitch as the train approaches and then sound lower in pitch as the train recedes. There is, however, a lesser-known effect called the “Dopeler Effect.” The Dopeler Effect is the tendency of stupid ideas to sound much smarter when they came at you quickly

~~~

If at first you don’t succeed, you’ve failed again

~~~

A pastor went out one Saturday to visit his church members.  At one house it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the pastor had knocked several times.  Finally, the pastor took out his card and wrote “Revelations 3:20” on the back of it, and stuck it in the door. {Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him and him with me.}

The next day, the card turned up in the collection plate.  Below the pastor’s message was the notation “Genesis 3:10”. {I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.}

~~~

The strongest warriors are these two: time and patience.

Leo Tolstoy

~~~

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life; we’ve added years to life, not life to years.

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of more food, but less nutrition. These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

George Carlin

~~~

Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

~~~

“My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from a Toyota, the tires from a Cadillac, and the exhaust system from a Honda.”

“Really? What did he get?”

“Fifteen years.”

~~~

 “May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.”

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Life goes on, enjoy it!

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Reinhold Niebuhr

  

I have been gratified in recent days by the notes than have been attached by so many of you to your requests to resubscribe to Ray’s Daily. I was surprised when I learned that some of you have been saving copies for years with a few reporting that they pulled up previous issues occasionally and used them as an anecdote for a bad day. I was also intrigued by an offer asking me to write a guest blog for an organization that acts as a repository for blogs that help people deal with life during these complicated times, I’m still thinking about that one as I am not sure that I would be a worthy contributor.

What has offset the good feelings has been the e-mails that I have been receiving from others who are lashing out against almost everything these days. Unfortunately the majority seem to be coming from my generation who should be enjoying their golden years. I can only attribute the vitriol to the fear that they have of change while longing for the time when life was simpler and the challenges easier to handle. While I too occasionally long for simpler times I know that change is inevitable and that rather than fighting it, it is much better to ride with it and enjoy as much as you can. I love the fact that I can listen to my favorite music from 50 years ago understanding I am able to do so because there are hundreds of old songs on my I-pod. I like the idea that I can retire early and yet record a TV offering that I would hate to miss and will be able to see it the next day.

Today many even resist any changes in our health care system even though our country spends more than any other while our public health status continues to deteriorate. Our children no longer are in the top tier of global students in math, engineering and other subjects yet we don’t want to support education reform and continue to underfund education. In my view change is not only inevitable it is vital to our future. Fortunately those that resist it all and blame everyone else, often in hateful terms, are a minority. I am optimistic that those of us who look for the best and are willing to support correcting the worst will prevail and our country can once again get about the business of doing the best for its people rather than wasting time fighting amongst ourselves.

~~~

“The key to change… is to let go of fear.”

Rosanne Cash

~~~

*Ten Things a Mom Doesn’t Want to Hear*

1.  I swallowed a goldfish!

2.  Did you know your lipstick works better than my crayons?

3.  Does grape juice leave a stain??

4.  The principal called…..

5.  But DAD says that word all the time.

6.  What’s it cost to fix a window nowadays?

7.  Has anyone seen my earthworms?

8.  I painted your shoes pretty, huh, Mommy?

9.  Well, the dog sure doesn’t like dressing up in your clothes.

10.  I’m moving out.  (Well, maybe some days.)

~~~

Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don’t know how to laugh either.

Golda Meir

~~~

Poor Johnson had spent his life making wrong decisions. If he bet on a horse, it would lose; if he chose one elevator rather than another, it was the one he chose that stalled between floors; the line he picked before the bank teller’s cage never moved; the lane he chose in traffic crawled; the day he picked the picnic was the day of a cloudburst; and so it went, day after day, year after year.

Then, once, it became necessary for Johnson to travel to some city a thousand miles away and do it quickly. A plane was the only possible conveyance that would get him there in time, and it turned out that only one company supplied only one flight that would do. His heart bounded.

There was no choice to make! And if he made no choice, surely he could come to no grief.

He took the plane.

Imagine his horror when, midway in the flight, the plane’s engines caught fire and it became obvious the plane would crash in moments.

Johnson broke into fervent prayer to his favorite saint , Saint Francis.

He pleaded, “I have never in my life made the right choice. Why this should be, I don’t know, but I have borne my cross and have not complained. On this occasion, however, I did not make a choice; this was the only plane I could take and I had to take it. Why, then, am I being punished?”

He had no sooner finished when a giant hand swooped down out of the clouds and somehow snatched him from the plane. There he was, miraculously suspended two miles above the earth’s surface, while the plane spiraled downward far below.

A heavenly voice came down from the clouds. “My son, I can save you, if you have in truth called upon me.”

“Yes, I called on you,” cried Johnson. “I called on you, Saint Francis!”

“Ah,” said the heavenly voice, “Saint Francis Xavier or Saint Francis of Assisi. Which?”

~~~

“The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”

William James

~~~

With most of my grandchildren playing soccer we have had to learn the ropes. Now we are so well versed we even know what the following means.

**Stupid Things Actually Said By Commentators In The World Of Soccer**

1.  Well, it’s Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this way, I’ve got to fancy Liverpool for the win.

2.  He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.

3.  And so they have not been able to improve on their 100% record.

4.  With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.

5.  Well, it’s a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour: almost all the Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.

6.  If that had gone on, it would definitely have been a goal.

7.  Their manager, Howard Wilkinson, isn’t here today, which strongly suggests that he may be elsewhere.

8.  I am a firm believer that if one team scores a goal, the other need to score two to win.

9.  If a team scores early on, it often takes an early lead.

10.  You cannot possibly have counted the number of passes made, but there were eight.

~~~

“If there was a loser in town, I’d find him and date him and fall in love — and be devastated when it didn’t work out.”

Halle Berry

~~~

A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service.

Afterward the pastor asked the man where he had gone.

“I went to get a haircut,” was the reply.

“But,” said the pastor, “why didn’t you do that before the service started?”

“Because,” the gentleman said, “I didn’t need one then.”

~~~

If you don’t run your own life, somebody else will.

~~~

He said: My wife, Diane, was chatting with her brother, Charles, a business executive who had retired last year. While discussing the joys of his new leisure time, Charles remarked that he had been compelled to give up skiing, a sport he had enjoyed for many years.

“Afraid of injuries?” Diane asked.

“Well, now I am,” he responded. “Before I could drag a cast into work and still do my job, but now I’d be messing up my golf game.”

~~~

“Even though we’ve changed and we’re all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we’ll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we’re not all still friends.”

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Better not wait for me!

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.

William James

 

 

 

One of things I miss the most from my working careers is those folks who looked over my shoulder and pushed me along. You see I have demonstrated over the years that I am a champion procrastinator. Just think of the juggler with three or four too many balls in the air than he can possibly juggle; one who often spends more time picking balls up than actually tossing them in the air, if you get that picture than you see how I often have felt. In the day my partners would keep me straight and not let my things-I-must-do pile get too large, unfortunately we seldom got around to the things-I-would-like to do pile.

Today as I was balancing a couple of months of bank statements while surrounded by my “someday” piles I yearned for those days so long ago when my partners kept me on track. Yes, I know I am constantly preaching on time management and prioritization, but I often don’t follow my own advice. I am better than I was, I say no more often these days and I have been turning down jobs and appointments where I would be too important or have too critical a role to play. It just that there is so much I have yet to learn, so many more places to see and so many more friends to make.

So as I again did what needed to be done today I did it feeling like the kid on a spring day who could hear the fish jumping in the pond calling his name and wished he was there to answer. When I was finished straightening out the books I decided it was time to dig into my wisdom files and see what the smart people had left for me to help me correct my ways. And look what I found, this was sent by Gretchen Rubin:

 7 Tips for Avoiding Procrastination.

Going to the gym. Practicing a new skill when you have no skill. Giving bad news. Dealing with tech support. We all have to make ourselves do things that we just don’t want to do. Here are some tricks I’ve learned that help me power through the procrastination.

1. Do it first thing in the morning. If you’re dreading doing something, you’re going to be able to think of more creative excuses as the day goes along. One of my Twelve Personal Commandments is “Do it now.” Without delay is the easiest way.

2. If you find yourself putting off a task that you try to do several times a week, try doing it EVERY day, instead. When I was planning my blog, I envisioned posting two or three times a week. Then a blogger acquaintance convinced me that no, I needed to post every day. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, I think it’s easier to do it every day (well, except Sundays) than fewer times each week. There’s no dithering, there’s no juggling. I know I have to post, so I do. If you’re finding it hard to go for a walk four times a week, try going every day.

3. Have someone keep you company. Studies show that we enjoy practically every activity more when we’re with other people. Having a friend along can be a distraction, a source of reassurance, or just moral support.

4. Make preparations, assemble the proper tools. I often find that when I’m dreading a task, it helps me to feel prepared. I’ll tell myself, “I don’t have to do X today, but I’ll get everything ready.” I gather up phone numbers, print-outs, read background information, etc. Dividing a tough task into preparation and execution makes it easier to tackle.

5. Commit. We’ve all heard the advice to write down your goals. This really works, so force yourself to do it. Usually this advice relates to long-term goals, but it works with short-term goals, too. On the top of a piece of paper, write, “By the end of today, I will have _____.” This also gives you the thrill of crossing a task off your list. (See below.)

6. First things first. That is, make sure you don’t use little tasks to push off big tasks. I find myself answering email instead of writing, or reading Twitter instead of logging in my research notes. These smaller tasks are important and worthwhile, but I shouldn’t use them to delay more taxing work.

7. Reflect on the great feeling you’ll get when you’ve finished. Studies show that hitting a goal releases chemicals in the brain that give you pleasure. If you’re feeling blue, although the last thing you feel like doing is something you don’t feel like doing, push yourself. You’ll get a big lift from it.

~~~

Someday is not a day of the week.

~~~

She said:

I used to work for a large company; they often tried to do special things for us to make work a little more enjoyable.

Below is a series of memos I found on my desk one week. Thought I would pass then on…..

Casual Day Memo No. 1: Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity.

Memo No. 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day.  Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.

Memo No. 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude.  When planning Friday’s wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.

Memo No. 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m., Friday in the cafeteria.  Fashion show to follow.  Attendance is mandatory.

Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday’s seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper dress.

Memo No. 6: The Casual Day Task Force has completed a 30-page manual. A copy of “Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards” has been mailed to each employee.  Please review the chapter “You Are What You Wear” and consult the “home casual” versus “business casual” checklist before leaving for work each Friday.  If you have doubts about the appropriateness of an item of clothing, contact your CDTF representative before 7 a.m. on Friday.

Memo No. 7: Because of lack of participation, Casual Day has been discontinued, effective immediately!

~~~

Our only security is our ability to change.

John Lilly

~~~

My brother, a strict vegetarian, travels abroad for long periods on business. When he got back from Europe one time, he called our parents’ home and told Dad he was about to pay them an unexpected visit.

Dad hung up. “The prodigal son is returning!” he called to my mother. “Kill the fatted zucchini!”

~~~

“Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.”

Ira Gassen

~~~

She said: At the company water cooler, I bragged about my children’s world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another was working in southern Italy, and my daughter was completing a yearlong research project in India.

One co-worker’s quip, however, stopped me short.  “What is it about you,” he asked, “that makes your kids want to get so far away?”

~~~

Nothing is impossible if you don’t have to do it yourself.

~~~

Little Morris, 4 years old, walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, “Are you Jewish?”

“Yes.” she replied.

“Do you know the Ten Commandments?”

She nodded her head, “Yes.”

“Do you pray often?” the boy asked next, and again she  answered, “Yes.”

Do you keep Kosher ?, Morris asked.

“I do.” said the elderly lady.

With that he asked his final question, “Will you hold my dollar while I go swimming?”

~~~

“Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow.”

Gerald Vaughan

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.