Ray's musings and humor

Archive for October, 2021

Have a Wonderful Life

Ray’s Daily

October 29, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

Maya Angelou

Wow, here it is almost the end of October, it seems like the days are flying by. I try to make the best of them as they speed on. I still think of myself as a work in progress as I handle my limitations and get the most out of my days as I can. I don’t want to end up thinking that I already have accomplished all I can, rather I see each day as a new opportunity to find more.

Here are some suggestions I got off the internet on how we can enrich our lives.

Instructions for a wonderful and fulfilling life

  • Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
  • Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
  • When you say, ‘I love you’, mean it.
  • When you say, ‘I’m sorry’, look the person in the eye.
  • Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.
  • Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
  • In disagreements, fight fairly. No name-calling.
  • Don’t judge people by their relatives.
  • Talk slowly but think quickly.
  • When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’
  • Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  • Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.
  • When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
  • Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
  • Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
  • When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  • Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
  • Spend some time alone.
  • Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
  • Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
  • Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll get to enjoy it a second time.
  • A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
  • In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
  • Read between the lines.
  • Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
  • Be gentle with the earth.
  • Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
  • If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
  • Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
  • Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
  • Remember that your character is your destiny.

Author Unknown

~~~

“You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.”

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

One day, two out-of-work ventriloquists are talking on the phone to each other and lamenting their condition. The older one says, “Just between you and me, I’ve been moonlighting lately as a medium.”

The young ventriloquist is quite impressed. “Really?” he says. “I didn’t know that you were psychic!”

“Well, to tell you the truth, I’m not,” confesses the older man. “But what I did was rent a storefront and bought a small round table, a crystal ball, and a turban. Then, when people come in, I throw my voice and they think that they’re talking to their dead relatives.”

“What a great idea!” says the young ventriloquist.

“You should try it too,” suggests the first man. “You’ll see, it works great.”

The next day, the young man goes out, rents a little storefront, and buys a table, a crystal ball, and a turban. He opens up for business, and an hour later a middle-aged woman walks in. She sits down at the table across from the ventriloquist and asks him, “Can you put me in touch with my long-lost husband?”

“I sure can!” he answers. “Why, for just a hundred dollars, you can hear your husband speak to you from behind that curtain over there. Now I must warn you that his voice might sound a little different, but that’s because he’s talking to you from the spirit world.”

“That’s wonderful,” says the woman eagerly.

“For a hundred and fifty dollars,” the ventriloquist says, “you could have a two -way conversation with your husband, and talk back and forth with him.”

The woman’s voice rises in anticipation as she asks, “You mean, I could communicate directly with my dear departed Hubert?”

“Not only that,” says the ventriloquist, getting just as excited as the woman. “For two hundred dollars, you could actually carry on a two-way conversation with your husband while I’m drinking a glass of water!”

~~~

I am having an out of money experience.

~~~

How many of these do you remember?

 1. Metal ice trays with levers

 2. Telephone party lines

 3. 45 RPM records

 4. Soda machines that dispensed glass bottles

 5. Tableside jukeboxes in coffee shops

 6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers

 7. Butch wax

 8. Newsreels before the movie

 9. The unholy trinity: Hitler, Mussolini and Franco

10. Eisenhower, Normandy and D-Day

11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive-6933)

12. Peashooters

13. Howdy Doody

14. Candy cigarettes

15. S&H Green Stamps

16. Hi-fi’s

17. Wire recorders

18. Mimeograph paper

19. Blue flashbulbs

20. Beanie and Cecil

21. Roller skates with keys

22. Cork popguns

23. Drive-in movies

24. Studebaker and Nash automobiles

25. Wash tub wringers

26. Rotary dial phones

IF YOU REMEMBERED…

  0-5 = You’re still young

 6-10 = You are getting older

11-15 = Don’t tell your age

16-20 = You’re older than dirt!

Over 20?… even dirt isn’t as old as you

~~~

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.

The older she gets, the more interested he is in her!

~~~

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed, “I’ll hear the oldest woman first.” The case was closed for lack of evidence.

~~~

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you sit there.

~~~

On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.  “Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?” Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”

~~~

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Enjoy your life

Ray’s Daily

October 28, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Life comes from physical survival; but the good life comes from what we care about.”

Rollo May

Hand drawn typography poster. Inspirational quote ‘live laugh love’. For greeting cards, Valentine day, wedding, posters, prints or home decorations. Vector illustration

I hope this finds you in good health and happy. I am doing well, a lot of that is because of the affection I get from my wife when I visit her. While she has dementia she still has fond memories of our sixty-eight years of marriage. But if the truth be told it is also the comradery offered by so many of the folks here at the Forum, the senior residence where I now reside. I am the beneficiary  of a staff that provides us good food, entertainment and plenty of things to do. I only hope you life is as joyful as mine is.

  A recipe for joyful living

Keep cheerful friends.

Keep learning.

Never let the brain idle.

Enjoy the simple things.

Laugh often, long and loud.

Laugh until you gasp for breath.

The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.

Be alive while you are alive.

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

Your home is your refuge.

Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

And always remember: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Author Unknown

~~~

“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.”

Carl Rogers

~~~

There once was a religious young woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” The priest said, “Confess your sins and be forgiven.” The young woman said, “Last night my boyfriend made made passionate love to me seven times.” The priest thought long and hard and then said, “Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.” The young woman asked, “Will this cleanse me of my sins?” The Priest said “No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face!”

~~~

“If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.”

Margaret Fuller

~~~

Shirley lives in Brooklyn, yet she does keep up with the rest of the country, as an example she sent us this:

One or our local rednecks, Billy Joebob, while a total idiot, was a gifted portrait artist. His fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming to him for paintings.

One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house in a stretch limo. She asked Billy Joebob if he could paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request. The beautiful lady said money was no object, she was willing to pay $50,000.

Not willing to get into trouble with his wife, Billy Joebob asked the lady to wait while he went in the house and conferred with this wife. In a few minutes he returned and told the lady he was willing to do it.  However, he would have to leave his socks on so he would have some place to wipe his brushes.

~~~

“Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.”

Lauren Bacall

~~~

She said: I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals.  I used to carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”

However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things.  So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.” My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.

~~~

“It is indeed ironic that we spend our school days yearning to graduate and our remaining days waxing nostalgic about our school days.”

Isabel Waxman

~~~

After bumping his head on our stereo cabinet, my 11-year-old-son, Felix, required stitches.  While the doctor was administering a local anesthetic to his head, I started to feel faint, so the nurse offered me a chair.

My son winced with every stitch, and the nurse told him it was okay to cry.  On the way home, my husband asked Felix if he had heard the nurse tell him it was okay to cry.  “Yeah, I heard her,” Felix replied, “but I thought she was talking to Mom.”

~~~

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Jim Carrey

~~~

Doug meets Bill at the bar after work and is once again looking down in the dumps.  “What’s wrong now Doug,” asked Bill.

Doug replies, “They called in a management team and gave everyone in the office an aptitude test to see what they were best suited for.”

“Yeah, so what’s the problem with that?” asks Bill.

Doug sighs, “Well it seems that I am best suited for unemployment.”

~~~

“Intentional living is the art of making our own choices before others’ choices make us.”

Richie Norton

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Be Happy

Ray’s Daily

October 27, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.”

Omar Khayyam

Sometimes I think we are too hard on ourselves. We fail to find happiness because we expect too much. It is only when we learn how to appreciate who we are and what we already have that we will find what is good in our daily lives.  Recently I found excerpts from the following article to be good reminders on how we can find our happier days.

10 Things You Do NOT Need to Be Happier in Life

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

“To be happier, I do NOT need…”

  1. To please everyone – Be careful not to give so much of yourself to others that you end up completely losing yourself. When you go around pleasing everyone but yourself, you are the one that gets hurt in the end.
  2. Everything to be easy – You have to do hard things to be happy in life. The things no one else is doing. The things that frighten you. The things others can’t do for you.
  3. Certainty and guarantees – Some people build too many walls in their lives and not enough bridges. It sounds crazy, but they would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy. Don’t be one of them. Open yourself up. Take chances. Run free.
  4. To be better than others – The size of our universe shrinks dramatically when we place ourselves at the center – when we think everyone is our competition – when we think we have to be richer, smarter, and more attractive than the person sitting next to us. Bottom line: Compete with yourself only.
  5. More control over everything and everyone – Sometimes we put too much interest into trying to control every tiny aspect of our lives. Learn to relax and ride the path that life takes you sometimes.
  6. Immense moments of glory – Graduations, wedding days, lavish vacations – these times are often fun-filled and deeply celebrated, but these times pass, because time passes. True, lasting happiness is found in the appreciation of all the small things.
  7. Other people to constantly validate me – Relationships are essential, but happiness originates from within. It is not exclusively dependent on external validation or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend entirely on the behavior and actions of others.
  8. Perfect harmony in all relationships at all times – Harmony in relationships is nice when it’s sincere, but too often we try to fake it. Effective communication is king. You have to talk it out sometimes. After all, the only way to be happy in life is to live with integrity. This means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Being clear and asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create occasional tension.
  9. A superior time and place – The reason many people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be. The key, of course, is to do the opposite. Appreciate your past without reliving it, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear.
  10. Happiness 24/7 – Absolutely no one is happy all of the time. Because you simply can’t be happy unless you’re unhappy sometimes. This is a harsh truth, I know. Just keep in mind that it’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year.

~~~

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.”

Aristotle

~~~

Over dinner, Jill said to John, “I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!”

“How did you meet this fellow?” John asked, very concerned.

Jill said, “Well, we met by accident, I hit him with the car.”

~~~

Here’s a new invention — a solar-powered clothes dryer. It’s called a clothes line

~~~

He said: My job is in the Aerospace industry and it’s always been a challenge to explain just what kind of work I do.

At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted explanations before deciding to be as generic as possible. When the subject came up while I was talking with a group of guys, I replied simply, “Defense Contractor.”

The men nodded and as the conversation went on, I silently declared victory to myself. Then one of them turned to me and asked, “So, what do you put up mainly? Chain link?”

~~~

When I was a child, I remember my mom telling me, “Son, when you grow up, you can marry any girl you please.” When I became a young man, I learned the sad fact was that I could not please any of them.

~~~

She said: We had been on the road for 15 hours en route from New York to California and were looking for a place to spend the night. At four different motels, however, we were told, “Sorry, no vacancies.”

Heading back to the car, my seven-year-old son asked solemnly, “Mom, are we vacancies?”

~~~

Many of our fears are tissue paper thin and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.

Brendan Francis Behan

~~~

Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. “Reverend,” she wailed, “John and I had a DREADFUL fight!”

“Calm down, my child,” said the minister, “it’s not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!”

“I know, I know!” said Joanna. “But what am I going to do with the BODY?”

~~~

Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Unknown

~~~

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, “Order, order.”

The drunkard immediately responded, “Thank you, you honor, I’ll have a Scotch and soda.”

~~~

The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.

~~~

An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter’s house later that night, she seemed upset.

“What happened, Mother?” the daughter asked.

“I had to slap his face three times!”

“You mean he got fresh?”

“No,” she answered, “I thought he was dead.”

~~~

There are three types of people: Those who can count, and those who can’t.

~~~

A woman and a baby waited in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for him to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and commented the baby wasn’t gaining enough weight. He then asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

“Breast fed,” the woman replied.

“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered. She did.

He pressed, kneaded, and pinched both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed he said, “No wonder this baby is hungry. You don’t have any milk.”

“I know,” she said, “I’m his Grandma … but I’m glad I came.”

~~~

You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster

~~~

“The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.”

James M. Barrie

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

They need our support

Ray’s Daily

http://rays-daily.com

A teacher affects eternity: he can never tell where his influence stops.

Henry Adams

Ray’s Daily first published on October 26, 2005

We are told that our future lies with our ability to educate and train our best and brightest, yet we do not adequately invest in education. We talk about the need for society to save itself by well educated statesman, yet we do not adequately invest in education. We talk about the need for better heath care that requires top notch Doctors, yet we do not adequately invest in education. The children that enter the educational system today deserve the very best education we can provide, for they will manage our destiny tomorrow. It is not just money that is needed; it is also our hearts and our voices. We must stop looking at the school systems as being primarily custodial and start partnering with them to assure our future. And, yes, let us start paying our teachers so that they don’t leave the profession for a better job working as a waitress or bartender. At a very minimum let us show them the respect they deserve.

~~~

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, “What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?”

He reminded the other dinner guests of the old adage about teachers: “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.”

To stress his point he said to another guest: “You’re a teacher, Jane.   Be honest. What do you make?”

Jane, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, “You want to know what I make? I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I make a C+ feel like the winner of the Congressional Medal of Honor for a student who has tried her or his best. I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence.” “You want to know what I make. I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them criticize. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them write. I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in math and perfect their final drafts in English.” “I make them understand that if you have the brains and follow your heart and, if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you must pay no attention because that person just didn’t learn.” Jane paused and then continued. “You want to know what I make. I MAKE A DIFFERENCE. What do you make?”

~~~

What nobler employment, or more valuable to the state, than that of the man who instructs the rising generation.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

~~~

“Mom’s List of Things She Does Not Want To Hear”

1.  I swallowed the goldfish.

2.  Did you know your lipstick works better than crayons?

3.  Does grape juice leave a stain?

4.  The principal called…

5.  But DAD says that word all the time!

6.  What’s it cost to fix a window?

7.  Has anyone seen my earthworms?

8.  I painted your shoes pretty, huh Mommy?

9.  I found out the dog doesn’t like dressing up in your underwear.

10.  I’m running away from home. (Well, maybe some day)

~~~

Drive defensively – buy a tank.

~~~

An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery.  Pausing before one gravestone he said, “There lies a very honest man.  He died owing me 50 dollars, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts, and if anyone has gone to heaven, he certainly has.”

They walked on a bit further and then came to another grave.  The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, “Now there’s a different type of man altogether.  He owed me 60 dollars and he died without ever trying to pay me back.  If anyone has gone to hell, he certainly has.”

The little boy thought about all of this for a while and then said, “You know, Grandpa, you are very lucky.”

“Me? Lucky? Why?” asked the old man in surprise.

“Well, whichever place you go to, you’ll have some money to draw on.”

~~~

The secret of a successful marriage is incompatibility. He has the income, she has patability.

~~~

The following are different answers given by elementary school age children to each of the given questions:  

How did your mom meet your dad?  

1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.  

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?  

1. His last name.  

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?  

Why did your mom marry your dad?  

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.  

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.  

3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.  

What makes a real woman?  

1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.  

Who’s the boss at your house?  

1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dads such a goof ball.  

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.  

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.  

What’s the difference between moms and dads?  

1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.  

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.  

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.  

What does your mom do in her spare time?  

1. Mothers don’t do spare time.  

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.  

What’s the difference between moms and grandmas?  

1. About 30 years.  

2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don’t even have bread on them!  

Describe the world’s greatest mom?  

1. She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!  

2. The greatest mom in the world wouldn’t make me kiss my fat aunts!  

3. She’d always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.  

Is anything about your mom perfect?  

1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.  

2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.

3. Just her children.  

What would it take to make your mom perfect?  

1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.  

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d dye-it, maybe blue.  

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?  

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.  

~~~

Education is the guardian genius of democracy.

It is the only dictator that free men recognize, and the only ruler that free men require.

Mirabeau Buonaparte Lamar

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Be your self

Ray’s Daily

October 25, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

Theodore Roosevelt

I was with some folks the other day discussing our lives and what makes them as good as they are. Some of the reasons I heard were appreciating what we have versus agenizing over what we lack, letting others know that we like and care for them and much more.

The one thing that these good people had in common was that they seemed to like themselves. I have found over the years that my favorite people did not spend much time talking about their accomplishments, rather they showed a sincere interest in others. In my view happiness comes from caring for yourself and also in others.

Everybody Knows

You can’t be all things to all people.

You can’t do all things at once.

You can’t do all things equally well.

You can’t do all things better than everyone else.

Your humanity is showing just like everyone else’s.

So

You have to find out who you are, and be that.

You have to decide what comes first, and do that.

You have to discover your strengths, and use them.

You have to learn not to compete with others,

Because no one else is in the contest of being you.

Then

You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.

You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.

You will have learned to live with your limitations.

You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.

And you’ll be a most vital mortal.

Dare To Believe

That you are a wonderful, unique person.

That you are a once-in-all-history event.

That it’s more than a right, it’s your duty, to be who you are.

That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.

And you’ll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.

Author Unknown

~~~

Always be a little kinder than necessary.

James M. Barrie

~~~

I’m Only Mature

Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.

From my purchase this chap took off ten percent.

I asked for the cause of a lesser amount;

And he answered, “Because of the Seniors Discount”

I went to McDonald’s for a burger and fries; and there, once again, got quite a surprise.

The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me.

He said, “For you, Seniors, the coffee is free.” Understand—I’m not old—I’m merely mature;

But some things are changing, temporarily, I’m sure.

The newspaper print gets smaller each day, And people speak softer—can’t hear what they say.

My teeth are my own (I have the receipt.), and my glasses identify people I meet.

Oh, I’ve slowed down a bit…not a lot, I am sure.

You see, I’m not old…I’m only mature.

The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun.

You should see all the damage that chlorine has done.

Washing my hair has turned it all white,

But don’t call it gray…saying “blonde” is just right.

My car is all paid for…not a nickel is owed.

Yet a kid yells, “Old duffer…get off of the road!”

My car has no scratches…not even a dent.

Still I get all that guff from a punk who’s “Hell bent.”

My friends all get older…much faster than me.

They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see.

I’ve got “character lines,” not wrinkles…for sure,

But don’t call me old…just call me mature.

The steps in the houses they’re building today

Are so high that they take…your breath all away;

And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago.

That should explain why my walking is slow.

But I’m keeping up on what’s hip and what’s new,

And I think I can still dance a mean boogaloo.

I’m still in the running…in this I’m secure,

“I’m not really old…I’m only mature.

~~~

Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

~~~

She said: When our dryer broke, my husband set to work. He found the problem quickly and, since he needed to replace the belt, decided to repair a cracked knob and a broken hinge too.

Upon arrival at the Sears parts counter, he said he needed a belt, knob, hinge, and a crescent-shaped wire he’d found inside the dryer. He didn’t know where it belonged, but he confidently assured the clerk that he could figure it out once he got into the job.

“I have the other parts,” the clerk said, “but for the wire you have to go to Lingerie. This is an underwire from your wife’s bra.”

~~~

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.

Arnold H. Glasow

~~~

After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the young lady decided she had been stood up.  She changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and resigned herself to an evening of TV.

No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV than her doorbell rang. There stood her date.

He took one look at her and gasped, “I’m two hours late . . . and you’re still not ready?”

~~~

“You can always tell a man who is a non-conformist, because he looks just like every other non-conformist.”

~~~

Max Levy goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health. “Max, you’re in excellent shape for an 85 year old man. But I’m not a magician – I can’t make you any younger”, says the doctor.

“Who asked you to make me younger?” says Max. “Just make sure I get older!”

~~~

Life has taught me that respect, caring and love must be shared, for it’s only through sharing that friendships are born.

Donna A. Favors

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Let it go

Ray’s Daily

October 22, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.

Herman Hesse

One of our most helpful skills is our ability to let go. Too many of us let today’s challenges, as well as our history hold us back from what we can do. I find it useless to waste time dealing with realities I can’t change, the solution; just let go and move on.

Here are excerpts from a post that can help us learn to move on.

10 Quotes for Letting Go of “How Life Should Be”

WRITTEN by ANGEL CHERNOFF

  1. We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our attention and gratitude. How often do you pause to appreciate your life just the way it is? Look around right now, and be thankful… for your health, your family, your comforts, your home. Nothing lasts forever.
  2. Some of the most powerful moments in life happen when you find the courage to let go of what can’t be changed. Because when you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself — to grow beyond the unchangeable. And that changes everything.
  3. Letting go isn’t forgetting, it’s remembering without fear. It’s stepping forward with a present mind and a lesson learned. So just remind yourself right now: you are not your bad days, you are not your mistakes, you are not your scars, and you are not your past. Be here now. Be free.
  4. Forgive yourself for the bad decisions you’ve made, for the times you lacked understanding, for the choices that hurt others and yourself. Forgive yourself, for being young and reckless. These are all vital lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to grow from them.
  5. Be selective with your energy today. If you can fix a problem, fix it. If you can’t, then accept it and change your thoughts about it. Whatever you do, don’t attempt to invest more energy than you have, tripping over something behind you or something that only exists inside your head.
  6. Life is change. You must accept the fact that things may never go back to how they used to be, and that this ending is really a new beginning.
  7. Even though you cannot control everything that happens, you can control your attitude about what happens. And in doing so, you will gradually master change rather than allowing it to gradually master you.
  8. Every difficult life situation can be an excuse for hopelessness or an opportunity for growth, depending on what you choose to do with it.
  9. In the midst of particularly hard days when I feel that I can’t endure, I remind myself that my track record for getting through hard days is 100% so far. (The same is true for you, too.)
  10. Too often we waste our time waiting for a path to appear, but it never does. Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. And we forget that there’s absolutely nothing about our present circumstances that prevents us from making progress again, one tiny step at a time.

~~~

The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.

Steve Maraboli

~~~

He Said:

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

~~~

I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.

~~~

Q. Why does California have the most lawyers in the country and New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites?

A. New Jersey got first choice.

~~~

Top 15 Clues That Your Company Has Been Sold

1. People you have never met assure you that nothing will change.

2. They issue new nametags without the company name on them. 

3. The company logo on our paychecks gets changed to something else. When this is questioned, we’re just told not to worry, it will be discussed in a meeting next week.

4. My paycheck did NOT bounce.

5. An announcement that on Monday we should report to the new building… in a different state.

6. English-German dictionaries show up on everyone’s desks.

7. The budget for your project suddenly doubles in size. Uh, how’d we get that much money?     

8. The pointy-haired owners are cleaning out their desks and their offices, of a company that their family has owned for over 40 years, but tell you that they are redecorating their office at home and want all their things there? 

9. What is this “Lot 642” tag stapled to my ear? 

10.  The pointy-haired boss called a meeting to let whole department know we weren’t being bought, everything was O.K. and don’t worry.

11.  I post articles to an online edition of the local newspaper. I learned the newspaper had been sold when I received an article to post about the sale.  

12.  You get voicemail messages from some temp company you’ve never heard of or called, who say they got your number from your boss.

13.  The boss starts doing work.  

14.  The ‘Coming Soon…’ sign on the front lawn…  

15.  A letter on your desk which reads, “Thanks for all your hard work, BUT….”

~~~

I’m not tense, just terribly alert.

~~~

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.  Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, “Why is it you limit your employees to married men?  Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous…or what?”

“Not at all, Ma’am,” the manager replied.  “It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t pout when I yell at them.”

~~~

If rabbit’s feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

~~~

Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward him.

Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche hit. Just as fortunately, he had matches with him and was able to light a fire.

Hours later, when everyone but Mr. Jacobson had returned, a rescue team was sent to search for him. After several hours they saw smoke curling from the cave and went to investigate. Poking his head into the entrance, one of the rescuers yelled, “Mr. Jacobson, are you there? It’s the Red Cross.”

Bristling, the harried executive called back, “Get lost. I gave at the office!”

~~~

“What a life. When I was a kid I asked my dad if I could go ice skating. He told me to wait until it gets warmer.”
Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

POINTS TO PONDER
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?
Why do we sing Take me out to the ball game, when we are already there?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

~~~

“My friends accused me of being a hypochondriac, which made me think: What if I *am* a hypochondriac, in addition to all these other ailments I have?”


Jenny Wong

~~~

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer:

“As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say, ‘$75.’ … if his eyes don’t flutter, say, ‘For the frames. The lenses will be $50.’…”

“If his eyes still don’t flutter, you add, ‘Each.'”

~~~

The only thing a person can ever really do is keep moving forward. Take that big leap forward without hesitation, without once looking back. Simply forget the past and forge toward the future.

Alyson Noel

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

May you always feel loved

Ray’s Daily

October 21, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

I began learning long ago that those who are happiest are those who do the most for others

Booker T. Washington

I find that the antidote for milaze and depression is what we get from others. Over the years I wish I had done a better job expressing my gratitude for just how much so many others have done for me. I am now at the age where I realize that the most important thing in our lives is what we do for others and what they do for us.

Here is an article that I really like, Ihope you will too.

May you always feel loved

May you find serenity and tranquillity in a world, you may not always understand.

May the pain you have known and conflict you have experienced, give you the strength to walk through life, facing each new situation with courage and optimism. Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone.

May you discover enough goodness in others to believe in a world of peace.

May a kind word, a reassuring touch, a warm smile be yours – every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as well as receive them. Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending. Teach love to those who know hate, and let that love embrace you as you go into the world.

May the teaching of those you admire become part of you, so that you may call upon them. Remember, those whose lives you have touched and who have touched yours are always a part of you, even if the encounters were less than you would have wished. It is the content of the encounter that is more important than it’s form.

May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart. Find time in each day to see the beauty and love in the world around you. Realise that each person has limitless abilities, but each of us is different in our own way. What you may feel you lack in one regard.

May you be more than compensated for in another for what you feel you lack in the present. May it become one of your strengths in the future.

May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility. Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience.

May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself, and not be dependent on another’s judgement of your accomplishments.

May you always feel loved.

Written by Sandra Sturtz Hauss

~~~

To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honours

Tia Walker

~~~

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl.  Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.

“Look,” she said. “We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other.”

“You’re wrong,” the young man declared. “For the past 5 years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his account.

~~~

Good leaders guide the willing and persuade the stubborn.

~~~

She said: Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap.

I carefully removed his glasses. “You know, honey,” I said sweetly, “Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married.”

“Honey,” he replied with a grin, “Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!”

~~~

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.”

Cher

~~~

Grandma Goldberg, a woman of 85, was slowly ambling down the street when she met her physician Dr. Cohen. Dr. Cohen, a dapper graying man in his early 60’s asked the elderly lady—“Mrs. Goldberg how are you feeling?”

For a long moment the woman gave the good doctor a terrible stare and then she said–“You ask me how I’m feeling! I’ll tell you how I’m feeling!! My legs hurt, my chest is sore, my heart is beating too fast and I can’t sleep!!! I have horrible headaches and stomach pains too!”

The good doctor looked at the elderly lady with compassion. “If you’re feeling so awful, why don’t you come and see me right away?”

Grandma Goldberg let out a sigh and said, “I was just waiting until I felt a little better.”

~~~

Q. What’s the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men?

A. Wife saying she wants to talk to him.

~~~

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine”.

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the centre of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens — the horse crashes straight through the centre of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me — it’s this bloody horse. What is he — deaf or something?”

The trainer replies, “Deaf?? DEAF?? He’s not deaf — he’s BLIND!”

~~~

Wear sleeveless shirts!  Support your right to bare arms!

~~~

Cheer Up!!!”

* The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund.

* They say the house didn’t float very far at all.

* Well, at least the operation was a partial success.

* The “National Inquirer” just loved those nude shots of you.

* With the lights dimmed, it looks almost normal.

* The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.

* The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.

* At least we never thought you were guilty like that Jury did.

* The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.

* Those Grand Juries always overreact. Don’t worry about it.

* The boss said while you’re sick, he’d do all your work personally.

~~~

Gene the lawyer was walking down the street and saw an auto accident. He rushed over, started handing out business cards, and said, “I saw the whole thing. I’ll take either side.”

~~~

Friends are medicine for a wounded heart and vitamins for a hopeful soul

Steve Maraboli

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

We can do better

Ray’s Daily

October 20, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Public sentiment is everything. With public sentiment nothing can fail; without it nothing can succeed. He who molds public sentiment goes deeper than he who enacts statutes or decisions possible or impossible to execute.

Abraham Lincoln

Ray’s Daily first published on October 20, 2005

If you are like I am you meet people everyday that are against lots of different things. For example many complain about the educational system, but when asked what they are for, you find that they have not looked for something better. I hear so much of that about education and other issues that I am thrilled when I meet somebody who is for something and can tell me why.

I go to meeting after meeting dominated by critics. Few spend time studying the issues or have tried to identify practical solutions. I participated in an international affairs meeting where a major problem was identified and the causes explored. I said I thought a major cause we had not identified was us and our silence. It’s like the comic character Pogo said, I have met the enemy and they are us.

This morning I was reading an article that talked about how politics has changed in America it discussed how much has changed since Lincoln’s day. Our short attention spans, our concentration on our self-interest, and how we spend out time has made it too easy to manipulate how we feel. Politicians these days have learned that they win elections by raising enough money to hire professionals to make them look good, public relations people to make them sound good, and experts to tell them where our attitudes and prejudices lie so they can tell us what we want to hear. They have found it way too easy to manipulate an unstudied population through what borders on propaganda.

Unfortunately too many elections are won by those raise the most money. It is too bad that many politicians spend so much time raising money and pandering to contributors that they don’t have enough time to spend on their jobs. From my experience the real power often rests with the congressional staffs on all but the most controversial issues. That happens because there are too many things on an elected official’s plate for them to handle personally. On many if not most issues the professional staff recommends and the member does as they suggest. However on a number of major issues, committee staffer’s opinions differ widely from the public. When major bills end up in the hands of a House/Senate conference committee it is the staffers who do most of the horse trading, they decide what stays and what goes on all but the most controversial elements of the legislation. Mostly these are good people, but you can’t blame them for their opinions if all they hear is one side of any story. That happens when we stand mute on the issues we care about and only say what we are against and let someone else provide solutions. A recent example is all the pork in the highway bill.

So when we are worried about what is wrong we need to remember that things may be that way because too many of us failed to watch what was going on and then saying something about it. OK, sorry about the harangue, I don’t know why I do that sometime, maybe I do because if we don’t say something who will?

~~~

The peace and welfare of this and coming generations of Americans will be secure only as we cling to the watchword of true patriotism: “Our country — when right to be kept right; when wrong to be put right.”

Carl Schurz

~~~

Gary and Keith were chatting by the office coffee maker.

“I had the most bizarre dream the night before last,” Gary declared, “All night there was just this huge glowing number 5. It was made of gold and sparkled with diamonds.”

Keith raised an eyebrow and responded, “Interesting. So what’d ya do?”

“The first thing that I did in the morning was to grab the daily racing digest and look up the fifth race and the #5 horse in the fifth race was named ‘The Fifth Element.'”

Keith started grinning.

“I was sure that this was a sign,” explained Gary, “so…

– I ate five bowls of cereal for breakfast and drank five cups of coffee

– I went for a five mile jog to clear my head

– I took a five minute shower

– I dressed in the fifth suit I found in my closet

– I sat in my car for five minutes before starting it up

– I drove to the racetrack and parked in the fifth stall in the fifth row

– I entered through the fifth admissions gate

– I bought five programs

– I went to the fifth betting window and bet $555 on the fifth horse in the fifth race

– I went and sat in the fifth row of the bleachers making sure there were five people sitting on either side of me. I settled in and waited for the race to start.”

“Well,” wondered Keith, “Did the horse win?”

Gary smiled, “Of course not, he came in fifth.”

~~~

If you can’t get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.

~~~

Josh had always been a big fan of Walt Disney.  He saw every film that the Disney Studios put out.  So it was no surprise when he headed to Disneyland looking for a job as a tour guide.  And his interview went something like this:

Interviewer, “So why would you like to work for us?”

Josh, “I’ve been a big fan for many years.  I reckon that I know as much about your characters as anyone.  I’d make an exceptionally good tour guide.”

Interviewer, “Tell you what.  If you can answer 3 questions, I won’t just hire you, I’ll give you the job of Head Tour Guide.”

Josh, “Sounds great!”

Interviewer, “First Question: Who is Mickey Mouse’s girlfriend?”

Josh, “Minnie Mouse.” Interviewer, Second Question: Name our 2 most famous dogs.” Josh, “Pluto and Goofy.” Interviewer, “Very Good.  Speaking of dogs, I assume you saw the movie 101 Dalmatians?”

Josh, “Sure did.”

Interviewer, “Okay, name them.”

~~~

Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you.

Satchel Paige

~~~

“Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas,” little Joshua said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. “It’s the best Christmas present I ever got.”

“Hey, that’s great,” said his uncle. “Do you know how to play it?”

“Oh, I don’t play it,” the little fellow said. “Mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night.”

~~~

“God help the man who won’t marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her.”

~~~

My eccentric neighbor proudly showed me what appeared to be a dog.

“It’s unique,” he explained, “part dog and part bull, and it cost me a thousand!”

“Wow! Which part is bull?” I asked.

He replied, “The part about the thousand.”

~~~

Sam is shouting at his wife, Becky.

“Oh no, not another new dress and accessories. Just where do you think I am going to get the money to pay for it all?”

Becky replies, “I may be a lot of different things to many people, but I’m certainly not inquisitive!”

~~~

The only really good advice that your Jewish mother ever gave you was: “Go! You might meet somebody!”

~~~

A popular government without popular information, or the means of acquiring it, is but a prologue to a farce or a tragedy, or perhaps both.

James Madison

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Good days ahead

Ray’s Daily

October 19, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Tough times never last, but tough people do.

Robert Schuller

I am still recovering from my tendenitis but am able to walk a little better and I was able to make a meal in our residence dining room and visit my wife yesterday. I continue to find each day to be something of an adventure and am often surprised by what they hold. But life goes on and I intend to continue to do the best I can.

Here is a piece I abridged that offers us suggestions for the days ahead.

5 About the Precious Little Time You Have Left

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOF

1. Opportunity is only ever found in the present. – Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness and peace. Don’t be one of them. Life is too short. Time is running out. Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been.

2. Your entire life can be customized from day to day. – There are hundreds of people in every town on Earth who live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing they can customize everything. Don’t be one of them. Don’t settle for the default settings in life. Find your loves, your talents, your passions, and embrace them. The life you create from doing something that moves and excites you is far better than the life you get from sitting around wishing you were doing it.

3. The willingness to do hard things makes life worth living. – If you want a job, be ready to work. If you want a relationship, be ready to work. If you want a family, be ready to work. If you want happiness, be ready… To learn and earn and give and grow, NOT just want and have and take and show. Truth be told, one of the most important abilities you can develop in life is the willingness to accept and grow through life’s challenges and discomforts.

4. Daily kindness is a beautiful legacy to leave behind. – Some people will be kind to you. Some won’t. Be kind anyway. Through kindness you have the ability to make a profound difference in every life you touch, including your own.

5. Everything will change again, faster and sooner than expected. – Nothing lasts. Everything changes. Day to day is a winding journey. As human beings we are constantly outgrowing what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and falling in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Life literally keeps leading us on journeys we would never go on if it were up to us. Don’t be afraid. Trust the journey.

~~~

If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.

Napoleon Hill

~~~

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She asks: “You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that and what are you praying for?”

The old man replies, “I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth.”

The journalist is amazed. “How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?” she asks.

The old man looks at her sadly. “Like I’m talking to a wall.”

~~~

“I’m looking for a perfume to overpower men – I’m sick of karate.”

Phyllis Diller

~~~

Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish.

He told the fish salesman, “Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?”

“Why do you want me to throw them at you?”

“Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.”

“Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy.”

“But why?”

“Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight.”

~~~

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

~~~

She said:

Kitchen closed – – this chick has had it!

Martha Stewart doesn’t live here!!

I’m creative; you can’t expect me to be neat too!

So this isn’t Home Sweet Home…  Adjust!

Ring Bell for Maid Service…If no answer do it yourself!

I clean house every other day….  Today is the other day!

~~~

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

~~~

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son.  I suggest you take tranquillizers regularly.”

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquillizers calmed you down?”

“Yes” the mother answered.

“And how is your son now?” he asked.

“Who cares?” she replied.

~~~

Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

He told me: As I was dropping off my son at his daycare the other day, I overheard some of the other children talking about their siblings.

“My brother takes karate lessons,” bragged one little boy.

“My sister takes gymnastics,” said another.

Not to be outdone, the littlest child in the group piped up and said, “My sister takes antibiotics!”

~~~

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.

Grandma Moses

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Listen

Ray’s Daily

October 18, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.”

Doug Larson

I have been fighting an acute case of tendinitis that has got me down. I have little energy so I will revert to reprints.

Ray’s Daily first published on October 18, 2004

“You listen,” said the Master, “not to discover, but to find something that confirms your own thoughts. You argue, not to find the truth, but to validate your thinking.”

And he told of a king who, passing through a small town, saw indications of amazing marksmanship everywhere.  Trees and barns and fences had circles painted on them with a bullet hole in the exact center.  He asked to see this unusual marksman.  It turned out to be a ten-year-old child.

“This is incredible,” said the king in wonder.  “How in the world do you do it?”

“Easy as pie,” was the answer.  “I shoot first and draw the circles later.”

“So you get your conclusions first and build your premises around them later,” said the Master. “Isn’t that the way you manage to hold on to your religion and to your ideology?”

Anthony de Mello

~~~

I fear that too many of us find the answers before we understand even the question. How many of us really have an open mind? How many of us defend our professed views without even hearing someone else’s belief. Life is not a battle between rigid dogma and someone’s prejudices, rather it is the opportunity that is given to each of us to learn all we can, to do the best we can, and work together for the common good. We will not be remembered for our fights. We will only be remembered for our contributions.

One of the reasons I am glad I know so many of you is that we can disagree while we try to understand each other. Last week I attended a meeting where a Quaker minister explained the beliefs of the Society of Friends (Quakers). He said that he believed that there is God in each of us and it is not important for us to profess faith through ritual, rather it is important that we live what we believe. In effect he said that each of us needs to understand that God is in even those we disagree with, and it is up to us to work to find the good in others. We may not always be successful, but I prefer to love my neighbor rather than hate my neighbor, and I absolutely believe that searching for the good in others is much superior to searching for the bad in them.

~~~

As man draws nearer to the stars, why should he not also draw nearer to his neighbor?

Lyndon B. Johnson

~~~

She said:

I used to work for a large company; they often tried to do special things for us to make work a little more enjoyable.

Below is a series of memos I found on my desk one week. Thought I would pass then on…..

Casual Day Memo No. 1: Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity.

Memo No. 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day.  Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.

Memo No. 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude.  When planning Friday’s wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.

Memo No. 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m., Friday in the cafeteria.  Fashion show to follow.  Attendance is mandatory.

Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday’s seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper dress.

Memo No. 6: The Casual Day Task Force has completed a 30-page manual. A copy of “Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards” has been mailed to each employee.  Please review the chapter “You Are What You Wear” and consult the “home casual” versus “business casual” checklist before leaving for work each Friday.  If you have doubts about the appropriateness of an item of clothing, contact your CDTF representative before 7 a.m. on Friday.

Memo No. 7: Because of lack of participation, Casual Day has been discontinued, effective immediately!

~~~

Our only security is our ability to change.

John Lilly

~~~

My brother, a strict vegetarian, travels abroad for long periods on business. When he got back from Europe one time, he called our parents’ home and told Dad he was about to pay them an unexpected visit.

Dad hung up. “The prodigal son is returning!” he called to my mother. “Kill the fatted zucchini!”

~~~

“Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.”

Ira Gassen

~~~

She said: At the company water cooler, I bragged about my children’s world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another was working in southern Italy, and my daughter was completing a yearlong research project in India.

One co-worker’s quip, however, stopped me short.  “What is it about you,” he asked, “that makes your kids want to get so far away?”

~~~

Nothing is impossible if you don’t have to do it yourself.

~~~

Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy’s checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he would only look at it after she had spent a few hours trying to wrestle it into shape.  Only then would he lend his expertise.

The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, Cindy said proudly, “There!  I’ve done it!  I made it balance!”

Impressed, Mike came over to take a look.

“Let’s see…mortgage 550.00, electricity 70.50, phone 35.00.”

His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry.

“It says here ESP, 615.00.  What is that?”

“Oh,” said. “That means…..’Error Someplace’ “

~~~

We must believe in free will. We have no choice.

~~~

After a long life of unselfish service, Father John O’Malley died and went to heaven. St. Peter met him at the gate and said: “John, you did such a wonderful job for us on earth, we’d like to do something special for you. You name it; it’s yours.”

John thought for a moment and said: “I’d like a private audience with the Holy Mother.” St. Peter told him it would be arranged.

On the appointed day, St. Peter escorted John to the Holy Mother’s sanctuary. John went before Her, knelt, and said: “Holy Mother, I’ve always looked to You for guidance, and You have granted me peace and serenity through some difficult times. But I have one question that has nagged me during my whole time on earth. In all the paintings that were done of you, and in all the sculptures that were carved of you, you always looked so sad. Why is that?”

Mary thought for a moment, pursing her lips. She said: “I always wanted a girl.”

~~~

Surely I deserve some kind of recognition for all the bad things I haven’t done.

~~~

Little Morris, 4 years old, walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, “Are you Jewish?”

“Yes.” she replied.

“Do you know the Ten Commandments?”

She nodded her head, “Yes.”

“Do you pray often?” the boy asked next, and again she  answered, “Yes.”

Do you keep Kosher ?, Morris asked.

“I do.” said the elderly lady.

With that he asked his final question, “Will you hold my dollar while I go swimming?”

~~~

“Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief.”

Joseph Addison

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Tag Cloud