Ray's musings and humor

Archive for September, 2021

Achieve Serenity

Ray’s Daily

September 30, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

From serenity comes gentleness, comes lasting strength.

Pam Brown

I have met hundreds of folks over the years and liked those who rolled with the punches while staying calm. These were the people who are so in control of their lives that they handle pitfalls with grace. Too many of us let too many things bother us excessively.

Things are so much easier to handle if we have learned how to achieve serenity. Here is an article on the value of staying calm.

Serenity

Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.

A person becomes calm in the measure that one understands themselves as a thought evolved being, for such knowledge necessitates the understanding of others as the result of thought, and as one develops a right understanding, and sees more and more clearly the internal relations of things by the action of cause and effect, one ceases to fuss and fume and worry and grieve, and remains poised, steadfast, serene.

The calm person, having learned how to govern themselves, knows how to adapt themselves to others; and they, in turn, reverence their spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of them and rely upon them. The more tranquil a person becomes, the greater is their success, their influence, their power for good. Even the ordinary trader will find their business prosperity increase as one develops a greater self control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a person whose demeanor is strongly equable.

The strong, calm person is always loved and revered. They are like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm. That exquisite poise of character which we call serenity is the last lesson of culture; it is the flowering of life, the fruitage of the soul. It is precious as wisdom, more to be desired than gold, than even fine gold. How insignificant mere money seeking looks in comparison with a serene life – a life that dwells in the ocean of truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of tempests, in the eternal calm!

How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood! It is a question whether the great majority of people do not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control flow few people we meet in life who are well-balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character!

Written by James Allen

~~~

When completely relaxed, we experience the essence of our being, the deep silence that knows everything as it is.

Haemin Sunim

~~~

The junior executive had been complaining to his wife of aches and pains. Neither one could account for his trouble. Arriving home from work one night, he informed her, “I finally discovered why I’ve been feeling so miserable. We got some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago and I just learned today that I’ve been sitting in the wastebasket.”

~~~

Seen on a headstone in a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread,

And the Lord sent them manna.

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

~~~

A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following the happy outcome of the case, the friend and client called on the lawyer, expressed his appreciation of his work and handed him a handsome Moroccan leather wallet.

The lawyer looked at the wallet in astonishment and handed it back with a sharp reminder that a wallet could not possible compensate him for his services. “My fee for that work, ” acidly snapped the attorney, “is five hundred dollars.” The client opened the wallet, removed a one-thousand dollar bill, replaced it with a five-hundred dollar bill and handed it back to the lawyer with a smile.

~~~

“Happy laughter and family voices in the home will keep more kids off the streets at night than the strictest curfew.”

~~~

SUCCESS

    At age 4 success is . . . . not peeing in your pants.

    At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

    At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.

    At age 20 success is . . . having sex.

    At age 35 success is . . . having money.

    At age 50 success is . . . having money.

    At age 60 success is . . . having sex.

    At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.

    At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

    At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

~~~

She said, my mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was onJury duty…

They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.

~~~

What the Store-employees really mean…

1. “Can I help you get a size?”

Don’t touch that, I just spent an hour folding it and I don’t need your hands messing it up again.

2. “Do you need help with anything?”

Quick, my manager is coming around the corner and I need to look busy.

3. “Welcome to <<Store Name Here>>”

Good, another customer to mess up my entire store just to buy a pair of socks.

4. “Have a nice day!”

Now that you ruined mine

5. “Thank you for shopping at <<Store Name Here>>”

Thanks for emptying your wallet with us!

6. “Do you need a shopping cart to help you carry your items?”

The more you can carry, the more you can buy!

7. “I love your shirt!  Where did you get it?”

Your shirt is much nicer than the clothes we sell here, why are you even shopping here?

8. “Can I help you get something down?”

I’ll get a ladder and put it up for you since this other nice customer put in the absolute wrong place.

9. “Don’t worry about folding it, I can do it”

You would just mess it up again if you folded it.

10. “No, we don’t have any more in the back”

I just don’t want to check

~~~

When you do the right thing, you get the feeling of peace and serenity associated with it. Do it again and again.

Roy T. Bennett

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Make your day great

Ray’s Daily

September 29, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“A great attitude is like a perfect cup of coffee – don’t start your day without it.”

We all benefit from having good days in spite of the negativism that so often surronds us. It is too bad that so many settle for dark days when it is within their power to turn them into great days. Sometimes all it takes is a few steps on our part to turn our days for the better.

I made slight edits on the following article that has tips to help brighten our days.

7 Ways to Have a Great Day

BY GEOFFREY JAMES, CONTRIBUTING EDITOR, INC.COM

1. Listen to or read something that inspires you. – Rather than distract yourself with news or “entertainment” that only adds to your stress, fill your quieter moments with music, books, and TED-like talks that are uplifting and help you aspire to be your best.

2. Make your body stronger and more resilient. – When it comes to physical condition, there’s no such thing as staying in the same place. Take time each day to exercise and eat well–at least enough so you’re headed in the right direction!

3. Review and hone your plans for the future. – You’ll make better decisions and be more satisfied with your results if you know that most of what you’re doing fits into your long-term plans and goals.

4. Do at least one thing that’s worthwhile. – Hopefully your day-to-day work is a worthwhile endeavor, but if you’re stuck in a holding pattern of busywork (it happens to all of us), make the extra effort to find something to do that makes a difference and improves the world.

5. Help somebody less fortunate. – Self-centered people are always unhappy because they’re shoveling all their energy into the bottomless pit of their egos. The best and easiest way to get over yourself is to do something for somebody who needs your help. Do it anonymously, if possible.

6. Spend 20 seconds appreciating what you have. – If you don’t stop and feel grateful, I guarantee that you won’t enjoy yourself when you get wherever you’re headed.

7. Record at least one good memory. – At the end of the day, take out your journal, smartphone, or tablet and write down at least one positive memory about that day.

~~~

“We don’t “have” a great day, we “make it” a great day!”

Frosty Westering

~~~

Boy is this true or what? We cleaned and picked up yesterday, they are coming this morning..

The featured guest on a local radio talk show was a woman who owned a home-cleaning service. After she described what her clients could expect, the program’s telephone lines were opened to the audience. The first caller struck to the heart of every woman who had ever contemplated employing such a service. Her question: “How much cleaning do I have to do before your people come?”

~~~

TEACHER: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Don’s paper.

JOHN: I hope you didn’t either.

~~~

A teenager was always asking his father if he could borrow the family car. Pushed to the limit, the father asked his son why he thought “The Almighty” had given him two feet.  Without hesitation, the son replied, “That’s easy, one for the brake and one for the accelerator.”

~~~

A boss tells his new employee, “I’ll give you 18 bucks an hour starting today and in three months, I’ll raise it to 20 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?”

The employee replies, “How’s 3 months from now?”

~~~

First a person should put his house together, then his town, then the world.

Rabbi Israel Salanter

~~~

Medical-Speak

Said: “Appointment”  – Meant: “An opportunity to wait until the doctor feels like seeing you.”

Said: “A few more minutes.”  – Meant: “You have time to read the entire National Geographic.”

Said: “Cutting edge procedure”  – Meant: “Your insurance won’t cover it.”

Said: “Discomfort”  – Meant: “Pain”

Said: “Procedure”  – Meant: “Surgery”

Said: “Fairly Routine Procedure”  – Meant: “Major Surgery”

Said: “Routine Procedure”  – Meant: “Something experimental and dangerous.”

Said: “Latest medical research”  – Meant: “This week’s guess.”

When they say, “We did all that we could under the circumstances with the knowledge that we had at the time,” what they really mean is, “We blew it”.

~~~

I’d rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.

George Burns

~~~

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates he was asked by the gatekeeper, “Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?”

“Yes,” the professor answered. “When I was a young candidate at the Hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against a team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not see it, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now.”

“Well,” said the gatekeeper. “That is a very minor sin. You may enter.”

“Thank you very much, Saint Peter,” the professor answered.

“You’re welcome, but I am not Saint Peter,” said the gatekeeper. “He is having his lunch break. I am Saint Lucas.”

~~~

“The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.”

Sam Levenson

~~~

I come from a large family, five sisters and three brothers.

My sisters and I were looking through the family photo album one day. Picture after picture, we were all dressed in matching clothes. I asked my mother why she dressed us all alike, right down to the baby.

She explained, “When we had just four children, I dressed you alike so we wouldn’t lose any of you. Then,” she added, looking at the pictures in the album, “When the other four came along, I started dressing you alike so we won’t pick up any that don’t belong to us.”

~~~

“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”

Johnny Carson

~~~

Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget’s Thesaurus collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday, according to the Associated Press.

Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied….

~~~

If at first you don’t succeed you are running about average.

~~~

A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. “What’s going on?” she yells out the window. “Cow on the track!” replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, “What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?”

~~~

“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. The always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”

Ellen DeGeneres

~~~

“Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but every morning I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying to myself, ‘It’s going to be a good day!’.”

Lindsay Lohan

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Shared Wisdom

Ray’s Daily

September 28, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.”

Roger Crawford

I read a lot of stuff on the internet. Since I consider myself a work in progress I always look to find ways to make my life as good as possible. Since I am only eighty six years old I often benefit form the wisdom shared by some of my older friends. I have especially benefited from their tips on perserverance.

Here is a story that includes life lessons from a ninty-one year old wise gentleman.

No Barriers in Life

I volunteer at a Mental Illness Drop in Centre in the northern suburbs of Melbourne, Australia. Next to the drop in centre, there is a Men’s Shed, where men who are mostly retired come together to do wood work and metal work. It is also a place where these men meet and bond.

I sometimes wander into the Men’s Shed to say hello to some of them men, whom I now know on a first name basis. Just recently, I went to the Men’s Shed and noticed a new face. He was a short and slim elderly man, with grey hair pulled back. So, I decided to introduce myself, and we started a casual conversation.

It was a cool summer afternoon. Melbourne had been hit by a heat wave for days, and it was the first cool day of the week. So we sat outside to enjoy the cool south westerly breeze. The old Tasmanian oak outdoor table we sat at was rattling a bit, but the white plastic deck chairs felt comfortable.

This man’s name was Ted, and he was 91 years of age. He asked me what brought me there, and then I asked him the same question. Ted’s story is remarkable to say the least! When he started telling me about his life story, I was so consumed by the details in which he was reliving his life. It almost felt like he took me back to the past.

Ted had lived through the great depression, served in the defence force and worked on a farm. His knowledge was so extensive in many areas of life. He now builds model rail engines and carts. His pale hands reached out to a folder on the table, and he took out some photos. ‘Have a look at these’ he said as he handed me the photos. In the photos I saw his collection of model rail engines and carts. He had built these in is workshop at his home and his passion for this was obvious to me.

Ted took me through each photo and explained what was in each photo. He started telling me about how he cuts steel to build his model rail engines and carts. He seemed very enthusiastic. In awe of his passion, I could not help but ask ‘Ted, what are some of the life lessons that you have learnt?’

So he gave me the following life lessons:

– Put confidence in whatever you do.

– Don’t be afraid of mistakes. Make them, and learn from them.

– Age is no barrier.

– Live to learn.

– Always listen to people when they talk. You will learn something when you listen carefully.

Wise people like Ted come into our lives for a reason. Whether we learn from their experience and wisdom or not is entirely up to us. I was so amazed and impressed by his passion for life at the age of 91 years! He repeatedly kept saying that learning is very important in life. I walked away from that conversation thinking that there cannot be any barriers in life unless we impose those barriers ourselves. Here I was, learning from a 91 year old wise man with so much life experience and with so much wisdom.  All I could think about was the passion that this great man had for life.

So, please take a close look at your life and ask yourself ‘How passionate am I about my life?’ Then look for any barriers that you think exist in your life. If Ted can live a life without barriers, then so can you.

Written by Ron Prasad

~~~

“An obstacle is often a stepping stone.”

Anonymous

~~~

One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given. The next year things were different, however.

“The children came over in person to thank me,” the grandparent told a friend triumphantly.

“How wonderful!” the friend exclaimed.  “What do you think caused the change in behavior?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” the grandmother replied.  “This year I didn’t sign the checks.”

~~~

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:

“I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”

~~~

She said: Like all growing boys, my teenage grandson Jermon was constantly hungry, I went to the ‘fridge to find something he might like. After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons, I spotted a bowl of leftover chili. “Hey, Jermon,” I called out excitedly. He came running into the kitchen. “Look! I found some chili.” Struggling to be polite, he said, “If you’re that surprised, I’m not really sure I want it.”

~~~

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

~~~

So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnnie down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma’s kitchen.

“Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Gramma asked him.

“I can’t get any water from that water hole, “Gramma!” exclaimed Johnnie. “there’s a big ol’ alligator down there waiting for me!”

“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnnie. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt anyone. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”

“Well, Gramma,” replied Johnnie, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”

~~~

They say you can’t have too much of a good thing. I wish I’d been part of that study.

~~~

At a Mass at which some young ladies were to take their finals vows to become nuns, the Bishop presiding noticed two Rabbis enter the church just before the service began. They insisted on sitting on the right side of the center aisle. The Bishop wondered why they had come, but he didn’t have time to inquire before the Mass began.

When it came time for the announcements, the Bishop’s curiosity got the better of him. He welcomed the two Rabbis and asked why they had chosen to be present at this occasion where the young ladies were to become the “Brides of Christ.”

The elder of the Rabbis slowly rose to his feet and explained, “Family of the Groom.”

~~~

Right is right, even if everyone is against it; and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it.

William Penn

~~~

A young man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing inconsolably.

“I feel terrible,” she told him. “I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

“Forget it,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes, and it’s lucky you have,” said the woman, drying her eyes. “I used them to patch the hole.”

~~~

He who is outside the door has already got a good part of his journey behind him.

Dutch proverb

~~~

He said: The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television. The harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of her return.

I was trying to keep my kids from becoming restless when suddenly shouts of victory came from the bar. “Hey,” commented my 11-year-old, “it sounds as if someone just got his food.”

~~~

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Oscar Wilde

~~~

The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair.  

“I’m losing my memory, Doctor,” he sobbed. “What should I do?”  

“Pay me in advance.”  

~~~

Ever notice how kids learn to drive a car in no time, but cannot understand the workings of the lawn mower, snow blower, or vacuum cleaner?

~~~

“I play golf in the low 80’s,” the little old man was telling one of the young boys at the club.

“Wow,” said the young man, “that’s pretty impressive.”

“Not really,” said the little old man. “Any hotter and I’d probably have a stroke.”

~~~

Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?

~~~

“Permanence, perseverance, and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.”

Thomas Carlyle

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Be Not Afraid of Life

Ray’s Daily

September 27, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

‘Be not afraid of life.

Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help you create the fact.’

William James

I have a Dentist appointment this morning so another past Daily.

Ray’s Daily first published on September 27, 2004

Recently a dear old friend sent me an e-mail that expressed concern about the speed of life and how its end seems to be moving closer at an alarming rate. I felt when I read her letter that she was measuring the quality of her life in as being time driven measured from the end forward until today. I am concerned that her time is filled with thoughts of the inevitable end. She went on to say she hoped that she could find employment well into her seventies in order to stay occupied.

I was saddened by what she had to say as I think this time in my life is the best ever. When I was employed I was expected to do what I did in the conventional manner and solving problems using traditional solutions. When I was in school I was graded on how well I knew the correct answers, answers based on conventional wisdom. Today I am unencumbered by scientific tradition, any dependence on the literal, and information modified by the anointed knowledgeable. I now spend my time exploring ideas, viewing the world, and listening to voices from the past of those who have shared the results of their search for wisdom. No longer am I measured by someone else’s right answers, I get to find my own. To some extent it is a process, if my personal answers are wrong it is not the end of the world, the journey in itself is worth the effort, and who knows, my answers might even be the right answers.

Time is just as important to me as it is to my friend. But in my case it is the time I have today to do whatever I want, it is the excitement that comes from knowing that today I can see that movie, read, attend a seminar or class, communicate with you, make new friends, and more. Most of my days include a moment of new insight, a new way of seeing the world and the people in it. While I would never impose my beliefs and opinions on others, I do love the opportunity to share the adventure and discovery that comes from the search.

I do dread the end, not the end of life, but rather the end of each day with more I still want to do. But as I drift off to sleep that dread is replaced by excitement as I think about a tomorrow filled with rewarding opportunity.

~~~

Strange History You Didn’t Get in High School  (the B.C. years)

3050 B.C. – A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea is stolen and duplicated by other Sumerians, thereby establishing the business code of ethics.

2900 B.C. – Egyptians create Sphinx, one of Seven Great Wonders of the Ancient World, but refuse to talk about it.

1850 B.C. – Britons announce Operation Stonehenge a success after arranging slabs in sufficiently meaningless pattern to confuse scientists for centuries.

1785 B.C. – The first calendar is introduced by Babylonian scientists.

1768 B.C. – Babylonians experience winter in June.

776 B.C. – The world’s first known money appears in Persia. World’s first known counterfeiter appears in Persia next day.

410 B.C. – Rome ends the practice of enslaving debtors, removing biggest single obstacle to the development of the credit card.

404 B.C. – The Peloponnesian war enters 27th year because neither side can find a treaty writer who can spell Peloponnesian.

214 B.C. – Tens of thousands of Chinese people complete 1,500 mile long Great Wall. Neighbor’s dog gets through.

1 B.C. – Calendar manufacturers argue over what to call the next year.

~~~

Q. How many Jewish mothers does it take to replace a lightbulb?

A. None.  “It’s all right – I’ll just sit here in the dark.”

~~~

Be Careful, Your Sins May Find You Out.

Have you ever told a white lie? Then you are going to love this. For all ladies who bake for church events.

Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies’ group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat.

She said, “Oh dear, there’s no time to bake another cake.” So, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom, a small roll of toilet paper. She plunked it into the middle of the cake and then covered it with icing.

The finished product looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the church. Alice then gave her daughter some money and instructions to be at the sale the minute it opened and to buy that cake and bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had already been sold.

Alice was beside herself. A couple of days later, Alice was invited to a friend’s home where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon. After the game, a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was presented for dessert.

Alice saw the cake, she started to get out of her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, one of the other ladies said, “What a beautiful cake!”

Alice sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (a prominent church member) say:

“Why thank you; I baked it myself.”

~~~

You’ve got to continue to grow, or you’re just like last night’s cornbread–stale and dry.

Loretta Lynn

~~~

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.”

“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.”

“No problem,” the tired Marine assured him. “I’ll take it.”

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

“How’d you sleep?” asked the manager.

“Never better.”

The manager was impressed. “No problem with the other guy snoring, then?”

“Nope, I shut him up in no time,” said the Marine.

“How’d you manage that?” asked the manager.

“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” the Marine explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, ‘Goodnight, beautiful,’ and he sat up all night watching me.”

~~~

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.

James Dent

~~~

A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang.  In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table.

It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook.

As it fell, it hit the family dog, which leaped up, howling and barking. The woman’s three-year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams. The woman mumbled some colorful words. She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband’s voice on the other end say, “Nobody’s said hello yet, but I’m positive I have the right number.”

~~~

“I was trying to find stuff to talk about today, it was a slow news day, so I found this. On this day in 1492, Columbus set sail from Europe, looking for a sea route to India – and ended up in America. And ironically, if you make a call from Europe to a company in America today – it’s re-routed to India.”  

Jay Leno

~~~

“Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people.

A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.”

Franklin D. Roosevelt

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

You can do it

Ray’s Daily

September 24, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.

Stephen Covey

Here it is Friday, another week has gone by. Summer has ended and Autumn has begun, It was another week when I could have done more but choose to concentrate on doing what I could to make my wife’s days as pleasant as possible. I also enjoyed listening to what was going on in my friends lives.

I think we too often have so much to do we don’t take time to do what we should do. The following story puts one mothers activities into perspective.

Priorities

So many things to do, I’m always rushing ’round

I wish that I had time to just sit still

I’ll get done all the things I need to do today

I promise then I’ll stop a while, I will

And so I start to tackle the list of chores I made

I’ll make this house look really spick and span

I’ll tidy up and wash the floor and vac and dust as well

Clean the bathrooms, clean the house – I know I can

A friend rings up. She’s feeling down. She wants to come around

She asks if I have time to talk a while

I stop to make a coffee and lend a listening ear

I have nothing to give except my smile

Then, when she’s feeling better and she knows that she’s been heard

She thanks me and then she goes on her way

I look around my house and continue with my chores

For I am going to get somewhere today

The telephone then rings. My son’s teacher’s on the phone

She wants me to come down and get him now

I go down to the school and I bring my sick child home

I’ll clean this house up later on somehow

And later when the kids are home; ‘Mum, I need to talk’

And so I stop to listen for a while

My daughter tells me how she feels, she opens up her heart

Then, when she knows I’ve heard her, she can smile

When the night has come, I wonder, ‘what did I achieve?’

And, then I look back on all I have done

The house is still not tidy and there is still so much to do

Just like it was when I had first begun

But, then I stop and realise my priorities are right

For when someone’s in need then, I am there

I give to them the time they need and help them where I can

I let them know how much I really care

For when the years have passed and my kids have all moved out

They will feel the love and warmth I had to give

And I know that they’ll remember the lessons that they learnt

In self-worth and in how they choose to live

Michelle Tetley

~~~

There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.

Brian Tracy

~~~

Her rules

The Franklin Factor: Early to bed and early to rise means it’s time to meet more guys.

The Rat Race: If there’s one rat in a room full of nice men, he’ll hit on you first.

The Eyeglass Prescription: Don’t wear your glasses on a blind date.  You’ll look better, and he will too.

The Ring Rule: A watched telephone never rings.

The Creep Call: Never pick up the phone on Saturday night.  It’s a call from a creep you told you were busy.

The Fishing Forecast: They say there are lots of good fish in the sea.  But who wants to go out with a fish?

The Psychological Prognosis: Love is a form of temporary insanity curable by marriage.

The Rope Trick: Give a man enough rope and he’ll lasso another woman.

Mind Over Matter: No one ever falls in love with another person’s mind at a cocktail party.

The Fault Finder: The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to move in with your lover.

Twain’s Truth: Familiarity breeds children.

The Fertility Factor: Women are only fertile a few days each month, unless they’re single.

~~~

A lawyer’s epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange

Here lies an honest lawyer,

And that is Strange.

~~~

“If we were rich,” said Mrs. Abrahams, “we’d spend six months a year in Florida, six months a year in Europe, and six months a year in California.”

“But dear, that would make eighteen months in a year!” said her husband.

“Indeed it would, Herbert.  Isn’t is wonderful what you can do with money?”

~~~

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed.

~~~

A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, “This doesn’t feel so bad.”

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.

“You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?” the husband asked.

“Exactly,” replied the instructor.

To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, pick up that pen for me.”

~~~

When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing.

Henny Youngman

~~~

It was just after midnight, and there was a rapping at the doctor’s door.

Dragging himself out of bed and poking his head from the window, he shouted down at the lone figure.

“Well?”

The woman looked up, “No, sick.”

~~~

A little boy asked his mother, “Mummy, am I descended from a monkey?”

The mother replied, “I don’t know, son, I’ve never met your father’s folks.”

~~~

Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived.

One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all.

Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. “Reform I can understand. But where will it end?  You! Goldblum!  The ashtrays in your temple so My people could smoke while the Torah was being read???”

Goldblum shuddered.

God went on.  “I can live with that.  Men are weak, but the Word is strong!”

Goldblum sighed with relief.

“Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but really:  serving Ham & Cheese Sandwiches to the devout at the temple during Yom Kippur?”

Bauman hung his head in shame.

“Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that which is not Kosher. I’m not pleased at all with the playing fast and loose with my people, but I can accept these indiscretions.”

Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief.

Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, “You, Rabinowitz, have gone too far!  Am I asking too much?  No, you flaunt the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying….’Closed for the Holidays!'”

~~~

Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Lighten Up

Ray’s Daily

September 23, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things

Kenneth Branagh

I know we spend a lot of effort in our search for happinss and it is time well spent. It would be easy to let today’s difficult chalanges get us down. For me I prefer to find things to generate happiness rather than waiting for happiness to find me.

I have been a fan of best selling author, Gretchen Rubin, for some time. She has developed into an expert on happiness. Here are some editied tips I got from her web site for your consideration.

How to Be Happy: 10 Extremely Practical Tips to Try Now

By Gretchen Rubin

1. I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry.

2. Do let the sun go down on anger. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.

3. Fake it till you feel it. Feelings follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften.

4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. People who do new things―learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places―are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to “Enjoy the fun of failure” and tackle some daunting goal.

5. Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.” While it’s easy to think, I’ll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans, it’s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.

6. Buy some happiness. I’ve learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences.

7. Don’t insist on the best. There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

8. Exercise to boost energy. I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, “I’m just too tired to go to the gym”? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook.

9. Stop nagging. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying “Milk!” instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself.

10. Take action. Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament. Although it’s true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and making conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work.

~~~

“If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change”

Tony Gaskins

~~~

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if:

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.

When the pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,” five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”

The choir is known as the “OK Chorale”.

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

The service wine is Boone’s Farm “Tickled Pink”.

The final words of the benediction are, “Y’all come back now, ya hear?”

~~~

One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people!

~~~

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain it to you. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”

~~~

“In a restaurant choose a table near a waiter.”

Yiddish Proverb

~~~

The math teacher posed this problem, “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”

The savvy student answered, “A lawyer!”

~~~

Carmen Mariano

~~~

Success never rests. On your worst days, be good. And on your best days, be great. And on every other day, get better.

The U.S. Treasury announced it is recalling all of the Alabama quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state. The quarters are being issued in the order in which the various states joined the U.S.

“We are recalling all the new Alabama quarters that were recently issued,” Treasury Undersecretary Jack Shackleford said Monday.

“This action is being taken after numerous reports that new quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones, or other coin-operated devices.”

“The problem lies in a design flaw,” Shackleford said.

The winning design was submitted by an Auburn University student.

“Apparently,” Shackleford said, “the duct tape holding the two dimes and nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices.”

~~~

Keep a green tree alive in your heart and a songbird may come to sing there.

Chinese Proverb

~~~

A factory owner said to a store owner, “Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you.”

“Gosh, it’s nice to hear that, but I’m kind of surprised,” admitted Smith. “You know that I argue every bill and always pay late.”

The factory owner said, “I’d still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two hundred.”

~~~

Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

~~~

“Look at ME!” boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. “Every morning I do fifty push-ups, fifty sit-ups and walk two miles. I’m fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t stay up late, and I don’t chase after women!”

He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, “And tomorrow, I’m going to celebrate my 95th birthday!”

“Oh, really?” drawled one of the young onlookers, “How?”

~~~

“Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.”

Immanuel Kant

~~~

A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer, “How long will it take me to get to the next town?”

The farmer didn’t answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again.

After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out, “About 20 minutes.”

“Thank you. But why didn’t you tell me that when I asked you?”

“Didn’t know how fast you could walk.”

~~~

It is essential to our well-being, and to our lives, that we play and enjoy life. Every single day do something that makes your heart sing

Marcia Wieder

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Retirement

Ray’s Daily

September 22, 2021

Http://rays-daily.com

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

Eden Phillpotts

Ray’s Daily first published on September 22, 2006

Yesterday I was interviewed by a reporter from the Indianapolis Star, our cities daily newspaper. He wanted to know my views on life after retirement. I shared with him my strong feeling that retirement can be the best time in a person’s life. It is a time when we no longer have to impress anybody, it is when we are free to do as we please within our physical limitations. We need to remember there are no rules for retirement, it can be whatever we want it to be.

Unfortunately I feel too many of us really don’t know ourselves well enough to plan what we might do. Many have trained and conditioned themselves to think we must live within a box just as we always have. Some of us think we will find happiness by doing what we and others have convinced us we ought to do instead of doing what would give us real pleasure.

If we are willing to invest in ourselves we can list everything that ever made us happy from the smell of a spring flower to a trip to some exotic location. In my case the list is always full, everything from a book I want to read to a trip to a country I have never visited before. If we are willing to do it, we can take our lists consolidate similar things, identify those things that make us happy and then get up and go do them. Our happiness is often found in places new to us, if you enjoy people you can go where they are, volunteer and start a new hobby, the collecting of new friends.

The reporter also asked me if senior’s recognition of their mortality affected their retirement attitude. While I said I could not speak for others I found that knowing life is finite and can’t go on forever provides us the choice of focusing on the end with fear and sadness or recognizing just how precious each day is. Each day is a gift box that can be filled with all kinds of wondrous things, a book, a smile, holding a child’s hand, hugging a loved one, packing for the next adventure, each brings meaning to the day and adds another memorable page to our history.

Mortality is somewhere out there in the future, while each sunrise brings a new day, and the day gives us the opportunity to celebrate life. If we only look out across the horizon we will never see the flowers at our feet.

~~~

“Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.”

Angela Monet

~~~

“Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever handle the middle-of-the-night feeding?”

“No. I always did that.”

“That must have been before you had women’s liberation.”

“No, it was before we had baby bottles.”

~~~

If the right man does not come along, there are many fates far worse.

One is to have the wrong man come along.

~~~

19 Sayings We’d Like To See On Office Posters

1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

2. If you can stay calm, while all around you there is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

6. Plagiarism saves time.

7. If at first you don’t succeed, try management.

8. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

9. TEAMWORK: means never having to take all the blame yourself.

10. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

11. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

12. We waste time, so you don’t have to.

13. Hang in there, retirement is only 50 years away!

14. Never criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes; that way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away AND you have their shoes!

15. A snooze button is a poor excuse for no alarm clock at all.

16. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

17. INDECISION: is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

18. Succeed in spite of management.

19. Aim Low, Reach your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

~~~

“We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.”

W. H. Auden

~~~

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days”?

He replied, “That would be fine with me.”

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

~~~

 Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

~~~

Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began.

“You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow.

“I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe continued.

“The sidewalk to the door,” Charlie corrected him.

“Inside the door, I was met by this dude,” Joe went on.

“That would be the usher,” Charlie explained.

“Well, the usher led me down the chute,” Joe said.

“You mean the aisle,” Charlie said.

“Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there,” Joe continued.

“Pew,” Charlie retorted.

“Yeah,” recalled Joe. “That’s what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her.”

~~~

“I’m dating a guy who’s twenty-one. That’s seven in boy years.”

Lisa Goich

~~~

Morris needs a lawyer, so he grabs the yellow pages and picks out a law firm —Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz & Schwartz.

He calls up and says, “Is Mr. Schwartz in?”

The man says, “No, he’s out playing golf.”

Morris says, “All right, then let me speak to Mr. Schwartz.”

“He’s not with the firm any more, he’s retired.”

“Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz.”

“He’s away in Boston, won’t be back for a month.”

“Okay, then let me talk to the other Mr. Schwartz.”

He says, “Speaking!”

~~~

“Every man dies – Not every man really lives.”

William Ross Wallace

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Her Grace Still Shines

Ray’s Daily

September 21, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

I have learnt how to live… how to be in the world and of the world, and not just to stand aside and watch.

Audrey Hepburn

My life has been filled with opportunity and reward. First in the Navy, then a thirty plus year career in the computer industry followed by ten years working for Kiwanis Internationls partnership with the United Nations Children Fund (UNICEF).

My work wuith Kiwanis and UNICEF was my most rewarding activity. Audrey Hepburn had passed but her UNICEF legacy continued on, her warmth, humanity and love for the world’s children was an inspiration to thousands. Sir Roger Moore often remarked on how her spirit motivated his UNICEF efforts. She truly was someone very special.

Audrey Hepburn

Internationally renowned actress Audrey Hepburn was a tireless advocate for children’s rights.

Soon after becoming a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador in 1989, she went on a mission to Ethiopia, where years of drought and civil strife had caused terrible famine. After visiting UNICEF emergency operations, Audrey talked about the projects to media in the United States, Canada and Europe over several weeks, giving as many as 15 interviews a day. It set a precedent for her commitment to the organization.

In the years that followed, Audrey made a series of UNICEF field trips, visiting a polio vaccine project in Turkey, training programmes for women in Venezuela, initiatives for children living and working on the street in Ecuador, projects to provide drinking water in Guatemala and Honduras, and radio literacy programmes in El Salvador. She saw schools in Bangladesh, services for impoverished children in Thailand, nutrition initiatives in Viet Nam and camps for displaced children in Sudan.

Audrey worked fervently for UNICEF. She testified before the US Congress, took part in the World Summit for Children, launched UNICEF’s State of the World’s Children reports, hosted Danny Kaye International Children’s Award ceremonies, designed fundraising cards, participated in benefit concert tours and gave many speeches and interviews promoting UNICEF’s work.

She received the United States’ highest civilian award, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, in 1992. That year, though ill with cancer, Audrey continued her work for UNICEF, travelling to France, Kenya, Somalia, Switzerland, the United Kingdom and the United States.

Audrey was born on 4 May 1929 in Brussels, Belgium. Her father was an English banker and her mother a Dutch baroness. She studied ballet, but a small part in a French film led the French writer Colette to ask her to play the title role in Gigi, which Colette had adapted for Broadway. The same year, Audrey landed the lead role in the film Roman Holiday, with Gregory Peck, the first of a long list of American movie classics in which she starred.

Towards the end of the 1960s, she retired from acting to dedicate herself to family life, emerging only for a handful of films in the 1970s and 1980s. She devoted the final years of her life to UNICEF.

Audrey Hepburn died at her home in Switzerland on 20 January 1993.

~~~

Giving is living. If you stop wanting to give, there’s nothing more to live for.

Audrey Hepburn

~~~

~~~

“Are you my caddie?” asked MacTavish.

“Aye, sir,” replied the boy.

“And are you any good at finding lost balls?”

“Aye, sir.”

“Right, then. Find one and let’s get the game started.”

~~~

If you want long friendships, develop a short memory.

~~~

A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, “Marian, Marian!”

Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, “You shouldn’t call me ‘Marian.’  I’m your mother, you know.”

“I know,” said the child, wise beyond his years, “but the store is full of mothers!”

~~~

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven.”

John Milton

~~~

PROCRASTINATOR’S CREED

NOTICE: You may wish to delay reading this until you have more free time.

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7. If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.

8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10. I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

~~~

“Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones come daily.”

Ivy Baker Priest

~~~

Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. All three had offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day.

The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine. As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, “Head up or head down?”

“Head up,” said the doctor.

“Blindfold or no blindfold?”

“No blindfold.”

So the executioner raised the blade, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade — and stopped barely an inch above the doctor’s neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn’t succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.

Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine.

“Head up or head down?” said the executioner.

“Head up.”

“Blindfold or no blindfold?”

“No blindfold.”

So the executioner raised the blade, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade — and stopped an inch above the chemist’s neck. Well, the law stated that if the execution didn’t succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the chemist was set free.

Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine.

“Head up or head down?”

“Head up.”

“Blindfold or no blindfold?”

“No blindfold.”

So the executioner raised the blade, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer yelled out:

“WAIT! I see what the problem is!”

~~~

“I can testify to what UNICEF means to children, because I was among those who received food and medical relief after World War II. I have a long-lasting gratitude and trust for what UNICEF does.”

Audrey Hepburn

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Hug Life

Ray’s Daily

September 20, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.

Theodore Roosevelt

I hope you had a good weekend. It’s now time to make it a good week. I am not sure what I am going to do but I know I will avoid conflict and ill will. I am too old to waste time in the doldrums so I will try to spend my time appreciating life rather then letting it pass me by.

Here is a story about how folks can find happiness, while I won’t hug a cow, I will hug life.

Hugging Life

It was time to break free. I needed to run away and this seasonal change here in Pennsylvania, offered the best place to go. It’s time for the Bloomsburg Fair.

I don’t know if you can call it running away since it is only an hour away from my home. But once I cross through ‘Gate 5’ and enter the fair grounds, I cross over into another world. The loudspeaker offers background music barely audible over the sounds of people talking, carnival game hucksters and food venders vying for your attention.

I belong here. I don’t know if I have it in my blood or not, but I always wanted to have a small food stand and travel in my off season from fair to fair selling goodies. Perhaps one day. It certainly isn’t a priority in my life. Perhaps it should be. After I’m there awhile, I need to get away to a quiet spot on the fair grounds. Most of the time I can find that any where the farm animals are kept.

They need the quiet. Milk production goes down in the dairy barns I am told if there is too much ruckus. So I go there to find peace with the cows, goats, horses, pigs and yes, the turkeys. You’d think being this close to ‘Thanksgiving’ they’d be a little on edge, but they are not.

It was in the dairy barn where I found my oasis this time. I so admire the young folks who tend to farm animals. I think they have a greater appreciation for life. They participate in it firsthand. I’ve watched a young boy help bring a calf into the world and I have seen a young girl walk her prize cow through the line of animals for sale, knowing that her job is done and it’s time for it to leave home. It must be difficult.

My favourite scene is to come across a young person lying in the hay asleep among the cows that have settled down for a rest. There, with their heads nestled in a small soft spot along side their favorite cow, I have seen them in a much deserved sleep. Perhaps better at rest there than in their own bed. I had the pleasure of speaking with a young teenage farm girl at rest today.

‘You look so comfortable,’ I said to her.

‘Oh I am,’ she said. ‘Life makes it comfortable for me.’

‘You mean being a farm girl?’

‘No, Life! That’s the name of my cow,’ she said smiling as she stroked the cows side.

‘I thought they called cows Betsy and Elsie. Why did you call her Life?’

‘I discovered life again here. It was the only sensible name that came to mind,’ she said.

‘I had been raised in the big city and really hated it. Then we moved to the country. Kinda running away from it all. I think my parents called it a mid-life crisis,’ she said laughing.

‘Boy, I can relate to that. I’ve been in one since birth,’ I said.

‘It was on the farm that I learned to love life again. I was there when Life was born. It was so exciting. My whole outlook on the world changed. So I named her Life. Now, I can say I really love Life,’ she said.

‘How incredible. You know I write stories and I am always trying to get people to embrace life. To wake up each day expecting the best from it. But they all too often go to bed with so much bad stuff in their soul, and on their mind, that they wake up miserable and expect it to only get worse from there. All too often it does, just because that’s all they choose to see in that otherwise perfectly beautiful day,’ I told her.

‘That’s too bad. They need to see a cow born, a chicken hatch. I guess they need to wake up early and hug life!’ she said laughing.

‘When was the last time you hugged Life?’ she asked me.

‘I am sorry to say even I have had trouble doing that lately,’ I said.

‘Come here!’ she said.

Then standing up and stepping aside she said, ‘Go ahead… hug Life!’

I paused for a moment and dropping all thoughts of looking silly, I did. I hugged a cow. 

Written by Bob Perks

~~~

Not how long, but how well you have lived is the main thing.

Seneca

~~~

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

~~~

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen.

He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. He yelled with surprising forcefulness “Who stole my horse?”

No one answered. “I’m gonna have another beer and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I’m finished, I’m gonna  do what I dun back in Texas and I don’t want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, what happened in Texas?”

The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home!”

~~~

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Fred Allen

~~~

A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. 

“Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the Army,” the general said. “Nothing to it-you’ll catch on again fast.”

Next morning promptly at eight o’clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general’s bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer’s wife on her bottom and said, “OK, sweetheart, it’s back to the village for you.”

~~~

“There will always be two kinds of people: those who say what they think, and those who keep their friends.”

~~~

A man brings some very fine material to a tailor and asks him to make a pair of pants. When he comes back a week later, the pants are not ready. Two weeks later, they still are not ready. Finally after 6 weeks, the pants are ready. The man tries them on. They fit perfectly. Nonetheless, when it comes to pay, he cannot resist a jibe at the tailor.

You know, he says it tool God only six days to make the world. And it took you six weeks to make just one pair of pants.

Ahhh says the tailor But look at this pair of pants, and then look at the world.

~~~

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

~~~

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up.  Everybody but one woman laughed uproariously.  Used to having a better audience, his good mood quickly faded.

“What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss.  “Can’t you get the joke?”

“I don’t have to laugh,” she said.  “I’m quitting Friday.”

~~~

Do stuff. Be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager.

Susan Sontag

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Enjoy Life

Ray’s Daily

September 17, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.

Charles Spurgeon

Here we go again, another weekend. What I like is I will have few mandatory things to do so I can concentrate on things that make me happy. Just spending some time appreciating what I have is great but it never hurts to invest time rewarding yourself. Here is an edited article I picked up about what we can do to maximise our happiness.

15 Ways to Enjoy Life More

By Z. Hereford

1. Savor each moment. We typically do not know when a particular moment will be our last. In order to make the most of each one, we can learn to savor and be mindful of every aspect it offers.

2. Be whimsical; think like a child. Remind yourself of the things that made you happy when you were young, such as running through the rain, smelling fresh flowers, playing fun games, and being carefree.

3. Engage in a physical activity. Exercise releases not only happy chemicals known as endorphins; it releases natural pain-relieving and stress-relieving chemicals as well.

4. Laugh more. To paraphrase Harry Ward Beecher “Laughter is the best medicine.”

5. Experience a new activity. Enrichment in experience contributes to the enjoyment of life and there is nothing like trying something totally new. Go for it!

6. Start a gratitude journal. Writing about and recording those experiences which make you happy and grateful serves as a continuous reminder of those special moments.

7. De-clutter. You would be surprised how liberating and satisfying de-cluttering can be. You will feel lighter, fresher and ultimately more joyful.

8. Keep learning new things. Learning new things not only gives you a new lease on life, it keeps your brain/body connection young and active.

9. Give back. There are many ways you can give back to your family, community and workplace. It doesn’t have to be something colossal. It can be a small kindness in the form of opening a door for someone, helping someone with a heavy parcel, or helping a new team member at work.

10. Plan for the future, but live in the present. Quite often we get so caught up in planning and preparing for the future that we neglect to live in and enjoy the present.

11. Celebrate your successes. Succeeding is a great way to further boost morale and well being! So, no matter how seemingly small, be sure to enjoy the successes in your life.

12. Take time to appreciate nature. Life can be a joy when you make the most of all that nature has to offer.

13. Appreciate what you have. Quite often we don’t remind ourselves of the freedom and privileges we benefit from. If we stop to reflect upon all we have, we would indeed enjoy life that much more.

14. Appreciate your friends and family. It’s easy to take our loved ones for granted, however, when times are tough and life deals us some unexpected challenges, it is our dear friends and family to whom we turn for support and encouragement.

15. Know that you deserve to enjoy life more! Remember that life is short and that we deserve to enjoy and reap all the rewards it offers. It is up to each of us to take the time to appreciate and enjoy life more.

~~~

To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.

Bertrand Russell

~~~

She said: My husband and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When my husband began a story, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table.

There was no response, so I gave him another poke. Still the story went on. Suddenly, he stopped, grinned and said, “Oh, but I’ve told you this one before, haven’t I?”

We all chuckled and changed the subject. Later, on the dance floor, I asked my husband why it had taken him so long to get my message.

“What do you mean?” he replied. “I cut the story off as soon as you kicked me.”

“But I kicked you twice and it still took you awhile to stop!”

Suddenly, we realized what had happened. Sheepishly, we returned to our table. His boss smiled and said, “Don’t worry. After the second one, I figured it wasn’t for me, so I passed it along.”

~~~

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

~~~

A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”

The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient: “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”

Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success.

Finally they summoned the police. The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy what’s your name?”

“Fred,” the cowboy moaned.

“Where ya from, Fred?” asked the Ranger.

With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied,

“…the balcony…”

~~~

It’s when you run away that you’re most liable to stumble.

Casey Robinson

~~~

A READER’S GUIDE

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country – if they could find the time, and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

~~~

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you.

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

~~~

A sales representative stops at a small manufacturing plant in the Midwest. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift.

“No, thanks,” says the manager. “I tried smoking a cigar once and I didn’t like it.”

The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for martinis.

“No, thanks,” the plant manager replies. “I tried alcohol once, but didn’t like it.”

Then the salesman glances out the office window and sees a golf course. “I suppose you play golf,” says the salesman. “I’d like to invite you to be a guest at my club.”

“No, thanks,” the manager says. “I played golf once, but I didn’t like it.” Just then a young man enters the office. “Let me introduce my son, Bill,” says the plant manager.

“Let me guess,” the salesman replies. “An only child?”

~~~

It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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