Ray's musings and humor

Archive for March, 2022

Now or Never

Ray’s Daily

March 31, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Be content to act, and leave the talking to others.

Baltasar Gracián

We are only here for awhile. During our lifetime we can make a difference in the life of others. We need to care enough to understand the trials and concerns of those we know. It is our empathy and understanding that can help another through trying times.

Here is a short poem that is a reminder of what we can do.

Pass This Way

Author Unknownr

Through this toilsome world, alas!

Once and only once I pass;

If a kindness I may show,

If a good deed I may do

To a suffering fellow man,

Let me do it while I can.

No delay, for it is plain

I shall not pass this way again.

~~~

Don’t wait for the right opportunity: Create it.

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

Tom and Darryl were out hunting deer. Tom asked, “Did you see that?”

“No,” Darryl replies.

“Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead.”

“Oh,” responded Darryl.

A couple of minutes later, Tom said, “Did you see that?”

“See what?”

“Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there.”

“Oh.”

A few minutes later Tom again said, “Did you see that?”

By now, Darryl is getting aggravated, so he says, “Yes, I did!”

And Tom says: “Then why did you step in it?”

~~~

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are “I apologize” and “You are right.”

~~~

He said: On my four-year-old daughter’s first trip to Disneyland, she couldn’t wait to get on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.  As the car zoomed through the crazy rooms, into the path of a speeding train, and through walls that fell away at the last second, she clutched the little steering wheel in front of her.

When the ride was over, she said to me a little shakily, “Next time, you drive.  I didn’t know where I was going.”

~~~

A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities; an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.

Reginald B. Mansell

~~~

Visiting St Patrick’s Cathedral on a tour of New York City, my daughter and her children were awed by the sight. The kids were especially curious about the votive candles, so my daughter asked if they’d each like to light one. She explained that is it customary to say a prayer of petition or thanks, and she was careful to tell them that these are not like birthday candles.

“Do you have any questions?” she asked.

“No,” said the five-year-old, “but if there’s a pony outside, it’s mine.”

~~~

“I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.”

Steven Wright

~~~

Mrs. Smith pulled Mrs. Jones out of earshot of the porch, where Mrs. Jones’ lovely young daughter, Linda, sat. “It is really none of my business,” whispered Mrs. Smith, “but have you noticed what your daughter is doing?”

“Why, no. Is she up to anything special?”

Mrs. Smith leaned closer. “Haven’t you noticed? She has started knitting tiny garments!”

Mrs. Jones’ troubled brow cleared. “Well, thank goodness,” she said smiling, “at last she has taken an interest in something besides running around with boys.”

~~~

If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.

Lemony Snicket

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Be Confident

Ray’s Daily

March 30, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.”

Paul Tournier

I think one of the things I have appreciated most was how often things turned out well in my life. I have come to expect that things will work out for the best and they almost always do. I think when we are pessimistic thangs will not be what they might have been. So my friends look on the bright side and make the best of the days ahead.

Choosing Confidence

Carefully examining a display in the drugstore, a man asked the pharmacist, ‘Do you really guarantee this hair-restorer?’

The pharmacist responded, ‘Better than that, sir. We give a comb with every bottle.’

Wouldn’t you love to have that kind of confidence?

One man quipped, ‘When it comes to believing in myself, I’m an agnostic.’

One of the greatest problems many people experience is lack of confidence. Some don’t believe in their ability to speak in public, others are afraid to try something they’ve never done before, and still others do not have the confidence to overcome their shyness.

Do you know that you can become more confident? One effective technique is to learn to do what you’re afraid to do.

I led a seminar a few years ago where I asked for three volunteers to speak to the group the next day. One young woman named Judy was the first to raise her hand. She explained to me later why she did so: ‘When you asked for three volunteers,’ Judy said, ‘I felt a knot of fear in my stomach. I’ve never done anything like this before and I’ve never really believed I could. But the fear was telling me something,’ she continued. ‘So because I felt so anxious, I decided that this was something I had to do. But I must to tell you, I’m terrified!’

She made up her mind to do that which she was afraid to do. And the following day, Judy’s five-minute talk was superb! She was honest and genuine, speaking right from her heart. Now she is more confident about her ability to speak in public.

People who are confident have choices. People who are fearful too often avoid much of life because they are afraid to venture into unknown territory.

Jim Loehr said, ‘With confidence, you can reach truly amazing heights; without confidence, even the simplest accomplishments are beyond your grasp.’

When you make what you’re afraid to do what you choose to do, you will soon have the confidence to do whatever you choose!

Written by Steve Goodier

~~~

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face … we must do that which we think we cannot.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

What their mom said:

COLUMBUS’ MOTHER: “I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you still could have written!”

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: “Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”

NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.”

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”

MARY’S MOTHER: “I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.”

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? OY! Styling gel, mousse, something…?”

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER: “The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!”

THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!”

PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your bedtime.”

~~~

I can’t imagine a person becoming a success who doesn’t give this game of life everything he’s got.

~~~

Here is one of the reasons I like the Irish so much.

Irish Proverbs

A kind word never broke anyone’s mouth.

A dog owns nothing, yet is seldom dissatisfied.

It is better to be born lucky than rich.  

A lie travels farther than the truth.

An old broom knows the dirty corners best.

Put silk on a goat, and it’s still a goat.

A friend’s eye is a good mirror.

It’s no use carrying an umbrella if your shoes are leaking.

God is good, but never dance in a small boat.

Even a small thorn causes festering.

Marriages are all happy its having breakfast together that causes all the trouble.

Every dog is brave on his own doorstep.

You’ll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind.

Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him.

You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.

~~~

It was a May-December marriage, and as the old man climbed in to bed for the first time with his new bride, he asked, “Did your mother tell you what to do on your wedding night?”

“Yes,” she cooed, kissing him lightly, “She told me everything.”

“Good,” said the elderly gentleman as he turned out the light, “because I’ve forgotten.”

~~~

“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.”

Woody Allen.

~~~

While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.

As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?” “No, I’m fine,” I said, touched by her concern. “Oh, good,” she continued. “So will you be vacating your parking space now?”

~~~

If money won’t make you happy, you won’t like poverty either.

~~~

She said that while visiting her son during his freshman year, she was shocked by the mess in his room:  clothes, books, and rubbish lay everywhere. Later, over dinner, she tried to touch on the informal versus formal dress codes that life after college might require.  Her son, however, shared his own firmly held dress code guidelines:

1. Informal: socks not required

2. Semiformal:  two socks required

3. Formal:  both socks must match

~~~

You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

~~~

Maureen said: At my granddaughter’s wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest.  It turned out to be my husband and I.  The DJ asked us, “What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?”

I said, “The three most important words in a marriage are, ‘You’re probably right.'”

Everyone then looked at my husband.  He said, “She’s probably right.”

~~~

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”

Laozi

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

How Will Your Day Go?

Ray’s Daily

March 29, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Do right. Do your best. Treat others as you want to be treated.

Lou Holtz

Here is a poem I have always liked. It reminds me of the value of thinking about each day before it ends. There may not be a lot we can do but what we do do can be done with kindness. I will do my best today and I am sure you will too.

Have You Earned Your Tomorrow

By Edgar Guest

Is anybody happier because you passed his way?

     Does anyone remember that you spoke to him today?

This day is almost over, and its toiling time is through;

     Is there anyone to utter now a kindly word of you?

Did you give a cheerful greeting to the friend who came along?

Or a churlish sort of “Howdy” and then vanish in the throng?

Were you selfish pure and simple as you rushed along the way,

Or is someone mighty grateful for a deed you did today?

Can you say tonight, in parting with the day that’s slipping fast,

     That you helped a single brother of the many that you passed?

Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said;

     Does a man whose hopes were fading now with courage look ahead?

Did you waste the day, or lose it, was it well or sorely spent?

     Did you leave a trail of kindness or a scar of discontent?

As you close your eyes in slumber do you think that God would say,

     You have earned one more tomorrow by the work you did today?

~~~

Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Don Miguel Ruiz

~~~

John bought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner.

As they arrived at the door, his wife rushed up, threw her arms around John and kissed him passionately.

“My goodness”, said Peter, “and how long have you been married?”

“22 years”, replied John.

“You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like that after all those years.”

“Don’t be fooled! She only does it to make the dog jealous.”

~~~

Flirtation, attention without intention.

Max O’Rell

~~~

At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that was a perfect match for one of her husband’s sports jackets.

Soon after, while the couple was vacationing at a resort complex to get his mind off a rather complicated cocaine conspiracy case, he noticed a small, round disc sewn into the design of the tie.

The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who was equally suspicious that it might be a ‘bug’ planted by the conspiracy defendants.

The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters In Washington, DC for analysis.

Two weeks later, the judge phoned the Washington office to learn the results of their tests.

“We’re not sure where the disc came from,” the FBI told him, “but we discovered that when you press it, it plays ‘Jingle Bells.'”

I also have a tie that has a disc sewn in that plays Jingle Bells also, I am not sending it to the FBI, please don’t tell them, the tie was a gift. – Ray

~~~

“Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.”

Mark Twain

~~~

Blonde definitions

Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.

Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.

Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.

Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.

Control \kon-trol’\: A short, ugly inmate.

Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

Eclipse \i-klips’\: what an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper \i’-drop-ur\: a clumsy ophthalmologist.

Heroes \hee’-rhos\: what a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank \left’ bangk’\: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

Misty \mis’-tee\: How some golfers create divots.

Paradox \par’-uh-doks\: two physicians.

Parasites \par’-uh-sites\: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist \farm’-uh-sist\: a helper on the farm! .

Polarize \po’-lur-ize\: what penguins see with.

Primate \pri’-mat\: removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

Relief \ree-leef’\: what trees do in the spring.

Rubberneck \rub’-er-nek\: what you do to relax your wife.

Seamstress \seem’-stres\: describes 250 pounds in a size six.

Selfish \sel’-fish\: what the owner of a seafood store does.

Subdued \sub-dood’\: like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.

Sudafed \sood’-a-fed\: bringing litigation against a government.

~~~

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.

Theodore Isaac Rubin

~~~

George Burns told a story about cheating on his wife once during their marriage.  He kept it to himself, but he felt so bad that he bought Gracie a beautiful diamond bracelet.  Finally, after several years had gone by, he confessed to Gracie about his indiscretion. 

She said, “I know.  I was hoping you’d do it again.  I wanted a ring to match.”

~~~

“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.”

Joe Weinstein

~~~

A motorist was on trial for hitting a pedestrian. The motorist’s lawyer made this point: “Your honor, my client has been driving for over thirty years.”

To which the lawyer for the plaintiff retorted: “Your honor, if we are going to judge this case by experience, may I remind you that my client has been walking for over fifty years.”

~~~

I believe that in life, you have to give things your best shot, do your best. You have to focus on what needs to be done, do the right thing, not the popular thing.

David Cameron

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Keep Going

Ray;s Daily

March 28,2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

Seneca

I spoke to a group recently who had expressed interest in my commitment to staying positive. All I could share with them was my history, including my setbacks. Over the years I have found that staying still because of what tomorrow may hold anchors you in a place where you cannot move to a better tomorrows.

Bottom line — if you want a better life you must keep going.

Here are some thoughts offered by Angel Chernoff that I appreciate.

4 Powerful Lessons We Gradually Learn the Hard Way

1. The vast majority of what is stressing you out today probably won’t matter a month from now. Shake it off, reset, and bring your attention back to what’s truly important. Remember, what you focus on grows. Stop micromanaging your time and start better managing your focus, so you can move forward.

2. In life, goodbyes can be a gift. When certain people walk away from you, and certain opportunities close their doors on you, there is no need to hold on to them or pray to keep them present in your life. If they close you out, take it as a direct indication that these people, circumstances, and opportunities are not a part of the next chapter in your life. It’s a hint that your personal growth requires someone different or something more, and life is making room.

3. Realize that life is simply a collection of little chances for happiness, each lived one moment at a time. That some time each day should be spent noticing the beauty in the space between the big events. That moments of dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered. But most of all, realize that life is about being present, watching and listening and working without a clock and without anticipation of results at every moment, and sometimes, on really good days, for letting these little moments fill your heart with gratitude.

4. Eventually you will end up where you need to be, doing the right things, alongside the right people. Patience is the key. And remember, patience is not about waiting, it is the ability to maintain a positive outlook while working diligently for what you believe in, step by step.

The bottom line is, despite the real world challenges you face, the biggest and most complex obstacle you will have to personally overcome on a daily basis is your own mind…

YES, YOU CAN THINK BETTER, which means you can tap into your inner strength and ultimately live better.

~~~

“Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.”

Og Mandino

~~~

A young executive is working late one evening. As he comes out of his office about 8 PM he sees the Big Boss standing by the shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand.

“Do you know how to work this thing?” the older man asks. “My secretary’s gone home and I don’t know how to run it.”

“Yes, sir,” says the young executive, who turns on the machine, takes the paper from the other man, and feeds it in.

“Now,” says his boss, “I just need the one copy…”

~~~

All men have the same amount of hormones. If you want to use yours growing hair, that’s your business. 

Baldy

~~~

She said: I’m A Senior Citizen

I’m the life of the party…even when it lasts till 8 p.m.

I’m very good at opening child-proof caps with a hammer.

I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I’m going.

I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a word you are saying.

I’m aware that other people’s grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I’m so cared for: Long term care, Eye care, Private care, Dental care . . .

I’m not grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians.

I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a secure place.

I’m realizing that aging is not for sissies.

I’m anti-everything now: Anti-fat, Anti-smoke, Anti-noise, Anti-inflammatory . .

I’m going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors . . .Absolutely nothing!

I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I’m in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD’s, IRA’s, AARP. . .

I’m supporting all movements now . . .by eating bran, prunes and raisins.

I’m a walking storeroom of facts . . . I’ve just lost the storeroom.

~~~

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

Roseanne

~~~

Doug:  I know you’re crazy about that little daughter of yours.  What are you going to do when she starts to date?

Bill:  I figure I’ll take the first young man aside, put my arm around his shoulder, and pull him close to me so that only he can hear.  Then I’ll say, “Do you see that sweet, little young lady?  She’s my only daughter, and I love her very much.  If you were thinking about touching, kissing, or being physically affectionate to her in any way, just remember this:  I don’t mind going BACK to prison.”

~~~

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

Fran Lebowitz

~~~

A person enters a service station and asks for the quickest way to get to Oak St.

The attendant says, “Are you walking or driving?”

The person says, “Driving.”

The attendant responds, “That’s the quickest way”.

~~~

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You’re only interested in one thing,” and you can’t remember what it is.

Milton Berle

~~~

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards.

She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Chanukah stamps?”

The clerk says, “What denomination?”

The woman says, “Oh my God. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.”

~~~

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

Deborah Reber

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Midlife

Ray’s Daily

March 25, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Midlife is the time to let go of an overdominant ego and to contemplate the deeper significance of human existence.”

Carl Gustav Jung

Ray’s Daily first published on March 25, 2005

I have noticed that mid-life is a floating date. I had my first mid-life crisis/opportunity, probably forty years ago. I have had many since; no longer do I view them as a crisis but rather as a great opportunity for redirection and life enrichment. I still think of them as a chance for a better life even at my age. The difference is that the older I get the more freedom I find to do whatever I want.

A week or so ago I got a letter from a friend who is the president of her and her husbands successful business. She told me she had decided to sell the business take a three month sabbatical and begin her next life. I am so glad that she has chosen to take care of herself and not stay trapped in what she has done so well for so long. She has much to gain and much to offer, I will enjoy watching as she thrives in the years ahead.

Each of us has the opportunity to make changes in our lives, sometimes just small short term changes, while others can result in new careers and adventures that we never dreamed possible. Every minute that goes by, each day, each month, each year, delays our opportunity to choose something that will make us happy. I know many who go through mid-life reassessment and decide that they are exactly where they want to be, what is great is that they then know they want to be where they are and why. Unfortunately too many feel so trapped that they view any change as an unacceptable risk, in my mind that is tragic.

One last thought, another friend e-mailed me the other day and shared the fact that she had been so conditioned over her lifetime that she was reluctant to take even the smallest risk. Please don’t let that happen. Often we rationalize our behavior as being something we cannot change, but you know what, we really can if we want to. So don’t be afraid to smile at a stranger and it really is ok to hold hands in public, let yourself go once in awhile, it is good training for the next time you get to decide to change something in your life.

~~~

Turn your midlife crisis to your own advantage by making it a time for renewal of your body and mind, rather than stand by helplessly and watch them decline.

Jane E. Brody

~~~

A husband was with his wife when she decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop.

Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him.

In a cocky manner, he asked, “Where are all the men’s clothes?”

In a demure voice the clerk replied, “All of these clothes are for men, sir.”

~~~

The best exercise for reducing is to move the head slowly from right to left when offered a second helping at the dinner table.

~~~

At the checkout counter of the department store where I was a cashier, customers frequently asked me under what circumstances items were returnable. One woman who came through my line must have been aware of store policy. She pointed to the lacy red-and-black negligee she was about to purchase. “May I bring this back if it doesn’t work?” she asked.

~~~

Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don’t feel that men provide them with enough frustration.

~~~

I never knew this…..

TRUE Newspaper Headlines  

* Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link-Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995  

* Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut-The New York Times, November 22  

* Alcohol ads promote drinking.-The Hartford Courant, November 18  

* Official: Only rain will cure drought.-The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts  

* Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men.-The Sunday Oregonian, September 24  

* Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows.-The New York Times, March 10  

* Scientists see quakes in L.A. future.-The Oregonian, January 28  

* Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold.-Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26  

* Bible church’s focus is the Bible.-Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994  

* Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity.-The Chicago Tribune, March 5  

* Lack of brains hinders research.-The Columbus Dispatch, April 16  

* Fish lurk in streams.-Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29  

~~~

The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.

~~~

The Sunday after Christmas, the Sunday School teacher told her students about an angel appearing to Joseph in a dream, warning him about danger to the baby Jesus and telling him how to escape from it.

After the story time, the students were given an opportunity to draw a picture about the story.  Most of the pictures were predictable, but Larry’s had an odd element in it.

“Larry, I see Joseph and Mary with the baby Jesus on a donkey, but what is that following the donkey?

“It’s the flea, teacher.”

“Flea…? Ah…what flea?” asked the teacher.

To which the boy faithfully repeated the Bible verse:

“Take Mary and Jesus and flea to Egypt.  There’s Mary; there’s Jesus; and there’s the flea.”

~~~

There is in the worst of fortune the best of chances for a happy change.

Euripides

~~~

A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday for coffee and a chat. They drink their coffee and then sit for hours discussing the world situation. Usually, their discussion is very negative.

One day, Aaron surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, “You know what? I’ve now become an optimist.”

Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up. But then Sam notices something isn’t quite right and he says to Aaron, “Hold on a minute, if you’re an optimist, why are you looking so worried?”

Aaron replies, “Do you think it’s easy being an optimist?”

~~~

Henny Youngman remarked once that, in his will, he is leaving his body to Julia Roberts. “If she can’t wait, she can have it now,” he added.

~~~

Dorothy & Dana, two blondes, ventured into the woods to bring home a Christmas tree. They were determined not to leave until they found the right tree. They walked for hours in the snow, examining every tree they found.

As the afternoon turned into evening, the temperature dropped ten degrees and the wind began to blow. Still no tree.

Finally, Dana piped up:

“Listen Dorothy, I really think we’d better take the next tree we see, whether it has lights and decorations on it or not!”

~~~

Does anybody else find it ironic that many couples split up because they haven’t spent enough time together?

~~~

A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the maid.

She thought of a plan to take him by surprise. One Friday she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid’s room, switched off all the lights and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the bed. Sure enough at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure opened the door and slipped into the maid’s bed beside her. After a few passionate kisses, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and asked, “Surprised?”

“I sure am, ma’am!” stammered the chauffeur.

~~~

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Encourage

Ray’s Daily

March 24, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

Mark Twain

We often have the opportunity to encourage others. Both encouragement and discouragement can have a major effect on people. It is especially difficult when another has just made a misstep, however that is the best time to encourage them to keep going. Here is an item that shows the impact of what is offered to others.

Encouragement works

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, ‘Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?’ The little boy nodded yes.’ ‘Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?” The little boy nodded yes.

‘So,’ the coach continued, ‘when a strike is called, or you are out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?’ Again, the boy nodded yes.

‘Good,’ said the coach. ‘Now go over there and explain it to your mother.’

What the coach wanted the boy’s mother to understand is that encouragement is vital to success. Encouragement builds teams and also builds esteem. Encouragement works. In fact, the right kind of encouragement, at the right time, can change a life.

Author Ron Dunn tells the story of two altar boys. One was born in 1892 in Eastern Europe. The other was born just three years later in a small town in Illinois, USA. Though their lives were quite different, these two boys shared a similar experience.

Each altar boy assisted his parish priest in the celebration of Mass. While handling the chalice during Holy Eucharist, they both accidentally spilled some of the wine on the carpet.

But this is where their stories diverge. The priest in the Eastern European church, seeing the purple stain, slapped the altar boy across the face and shouted, ‘Clumsy oaf! Leave the altar.’ He did. The little boy grew up to become the atheist and communist dictator of Yugoslavia, Josip Broz Tito.

The priest in the church in Illinois, upon seeing the wine stain, knelt down beside the boy and looked him tenderly in the eyes and said, ‘It’s all right, son. You’ll do better next time. You’ll be a fine priest for God someday.’ That little boy grew up to become the much loved Bishop Fulton J. Sheen.

We will never know how much a kind and encouraging word from the priest, or the lack of one, influenced these boys’ lives. But kindness and instruction are always far more valuable than anger and criticism.

Encouragement works.

Written by Steve Goodier

~~~

“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.”

Greg Anderson

~~~

She said:

We were taking six children on a camping trip. I drove the lead car with our gear, and my husband followed in the station wagon. At a tollbooth, I realized that we hadn’t divided the cash supply, and my husband didn’t have any money. I paid a double toll, explaining to the woman attendant, “I’m paying for the car behind me. He has all those children and no money.”

Without cracking a smile, she replied, “Good! Keep him that way.”

~~~

Among the most effective labor-saving devices is the neighbor who hasn’t returned your garden tools.

~~~

I called to make airline reservations and was put on hold. After several minutes of taped music, a recorded voice came on: “If you have been waiting longer than ten minutes, press eight. This will not speed up your call, but it will give you something to do while you wait.”

~~~

At the rate changes are occurring everywhere, anyone nostalgic for the “good old days” is yearning for last week.

~~~

There was a tailor named Mendel and he was worried about his business. Mendel was down to his last $50 and was torn between buying a sign and getting food for his family. Mendel decided to pray.

“Dear God,” he said, “I don’t know what to do. If I buy a sign it may bring in business, but I need to buy groceries for my family…and if the sign doesn’t bring in sales, we will starve.”

God replied, “Mendel, buy the sign. Don’t worry, your family won’t starve.”

So, Mendel bought the sign and business took off. The tailor fed his family and all was well. However, as time passed it became evident that Mendel couldn’t keep up with orders all by himself. He contemplated hiring on a helper, but wondered if he could afford it. So, he asked God if getting help would be a prudent move.

“Go ahead,” God tells Mendel, “hire some help, you’ll do okay.”

And so Mendel did. And business took off beyond his wildest dreams. After a time, the tailor decided to move to a larger site that would accommodate the growing demands of his business. As he surveyed certain locations, he found a perfect storefront, but the rental price was really steep.

“God,” Mendel again prayed, “I found the perfect place to relocate my business. But the cost of the lease worries me. I don’t want to get in over my head.”

“Go ahead and a get a lease on the store, Mendel,” said God. “Trust me, you’ll be okay–I haven’t steered you wrong yet, have I?”

So Mendel signed a lease on the 5th Avenue store and profits from his business went through the roof. Out of heartfelt gratitude, Mendel proposed to the Almighty that he dedicate the store to Him.

“How do you like the name “Yaweh and Mendel,” the tailor asked.

“Nah,” God said. “Let’s go with ‘Lord and Taylor.'”

~~~

Character isn’t inherited. One builds it daily by the way one thinks and acts.

Helen Gahagan Douglas

~~~

An old wild west fort is about to be attacked. The wily old General sends for his trusty Indian Scout. “Yumti-Bi,” he said, “you must use all your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of army we are up against here.” Yumti-Bi laid down and put his ear to the ground… “Heap large war party,” he says, “maybe three hundred braves, four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on white stallions. All have war paint…many many guns. Medicine man also with them.” “Good grief!” exclaims the General, “you can tell all of that just by listening to the ground???” “No, General,” replied the Indian, “I can see under the gate…”

~~~

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Dr. Seuss

~~~

Our dog, Longie, suddenly began barking daily at 4 a.m.

Irritated and sleepy, my husband, Larry, searched the back yard for what might have disturbed this otherwise placid animal. For three days he found nothing amiss.

Then the dog woke up the neighborhood at 3 a.m. with frantic barking. When Larry looked out the window, he discovered someone throwing pebbles to land near Longie.

Larry hurried outside and found the culprit. Crouching on the other side of the fence was our quiet neighbor, the last man you’d suspect of wrongdoing. My husband demanded to know what he was doing.

“My mother-in-law is visiting,” the embarrassed neighbor explained. “If she loses her beauty sleep another night, she says she’ll leave.”

~~~

“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.”

David Brinkley

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Living Well

Ray’s Daily

March 23, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

I love life because what more is there.

Sir Anthony Hopkins

As you know I like to stay positive. I try to avoid negative thoughts and negative people. Fortunately I have many folks in my community how also prefer to stay happy and do their best to live a good life.

Here is a piece I copied from the web that is a reminder of what we can do for ourselves as we live our days.

How to Live Well

To live well, especially when you come to the latter part of your life and are looking back at decades of activity, means that you go with your heart and your head and give it everything you’ve got. Then you know that it’s all your effort. You can take pride in this, for it also reinforces your commitment to living life well.

No matter what stage of life you’re in, teaching yourself to live a zestful, rich life comes with practice and conscious intention.

Here are some tips on how to live well:

  • Put forth complete effort.
  • Be in the present.
  • Surround yourself with people you enjoy and can relate well with.
  • Always strive to learn something new each day.
  • Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
  • Make it a point to let go of grudges.
  • Help someone else, and do so without any expectation of something in return.
  • Find the beauty in small things – a delicate flower, the sound of your child’s laughter, the sight of a brilliant sunset, the touch of your loved one, the heady aroma and taste of a satisfying meal.
  • Explore what piques your curiosity.
  • Follow your dreams.
  • Never give up on what matters most.
  • Be fully accountable for your actions.
  • Live with integrity.
  • Find the lesson in mistakes, large or small.
  • Enrich your spirituality through prayer, meditation, self-reflection, yoga, walks in nature.
  • Express gratitude every day for all that you have.

Remember that life is much more than mere existence. It can be fully satisfying, productive, loving and enriching. To achieve a well-lived life, one of solid well-being, be willing and ready to act with courage, enthusiasm, commitment and determination.

~~~

A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.

James Allen

~~~

A tombstone in a Ribbesford, England, cemetery reads:

Anna Wallace:

The children of Israel wanted bread,

And the Lord sent them manna.

Old clerk Wallenstein wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

~~~

Are those cookies made with real Girl Scouts?

~~~

MEMO To: All Hospital Staff

From: Administration/Groundskeeping

Subject: New Cost Cutting Measures

Effective immediately, this hospital will no longer provide security. Each charge nurse will be issued a .38 caliber revolver and 12 rounds of ammunition. An additional 12 rounds will be stored in pharmacy. In addition to routine nursing duties, Charge Nurses will rotate the patrolling of the hospital grounds. A bicycle and helmet will be provided for patrolling the parking areas.

In light of the similarity of monitoring equipment, ICU will now take over the security surveillance duties. The ward clerk will be responsible for watching cardiac monitors and security monitors as well as regular duties.

Food service will be discontinued. Patients wishing to be fed will need to let their families know to bring something or may make arrangements with Subway or Pizza Hut to deliver. Coin-operated telephones will be available in patient rooms for this purpose as well as for other calls the patient may wish to make.

Housekeeping and Physical Therapy will be combined. Mops will be issued to those patients who are ambulatory, thus providing range of motion exercises as well as a clean environment.  Families and ambulatory patients may also sign up to clean the rooms of non-ambulatory patients for special discounts on their final bill. Time cards will be provided.

As you can see on the “from” line above, hospital administration is assuming the grounds keeping duties. If an administrator cannot be reached by calling his/her office, it is suggested that you walk outside and listen for the sound of a lawn mower, weed-whacker, etc.

Maintenance is being eliminated. The hospital has subscribed to the Time-Life “How to…” series of maintenance books. These can be checked out from administration, and a toolbox will be standard equipment on all nursing units. We will be receiving the series at a rate of one volume every other month. We already have the volume on “Basic Wiring,” but if a non-electrical problem occurs, please try to handle it as best you can until the appropriate volume arrives.

Cutbacks in phlebotomy staff will be accommodated by only performing blood-related tests on patients who are already bleeding. Physicians will be informed that they may order no more than two X-rays per patient stay. This is due to the turnaround time required by Photomat. Two prints will be provided for the price of one, and physicians are being advised to clip coupons from the Sunday paper if they want extra sets. Photomat will also honor competitors coupons for one-hour processing in emergency situations, so if you come across any extra coupons please clip out and send these to ER.

In view of the hot summer temperatures, the Utilities Dept. has been asked to install individual meters in each patient room, office, etc., so that electrical consumption can be monitored and appropriately billed. Fans will be available for sale or lease in the hospital gift shop.

In addition to the current recycling programs, a bin for collection of unused fruit and bread will soon be provided on each floor.

Families, patients, and the few remaining employees are asked to contribute discarded produce. Pharmacy will utilize this for antibiotic production. These will be available for purchase and, coincidentally, will soon be the only antibiotics on our HMO’s formulary.

~~~

Boy, am I confused… I think.

~~~

“Boss, I’ve got to have a raise,” the salesman said to his sales manager. “There are three other companies after me.”

“Is that a fact?” the manager asked. “What other companies are after you?”

“The light company, the phone company, and the gas company.”

~~~

The most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.

Pierre de Courbertin

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

We Care

Ray’s Daily

March 22, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

Lao Tzu

One of the challenges many of us face as we age is the well being of a loved one. In my case my wife of our nearly 69 years of marriage suffers from memory loss. She resides is a special care facility in our senior community where I live. I visit with her almost evey day where we hold hands and share memories. We have never been closer.

I have learned that being a caregiver for a loved one with dementia requires patience and understanding. We learn thet it is not important for those with memory loss to always be right, it is more important for us to be understanding.

Here is tips I copied from the Central Indiana Council on Aging (CICOA) that I find to be helpful for those of us with a loved one who has dementia.

10 tips for caregivers

  • Understand the disease and advocate for your loved one.
  • Remain family. Become friends.
  • Communicate well.
  • Patience, patience, patience.
  • Be an example.
  • Release the grief; focus on the challenge.
  • Embrace change.
  • Create a routine.
  • Have support.
  • Laugh. A lot!

~~~

“Kindness can transform someone’s dark moment with a blaze of light. You’ll never know how much your caring matters.”

Amy Leigh Mercree

~~~

Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop.

“I operated on Mr. Lee the other day,” said the surgeon.

“What for?” asked his colleague.

“About $17,000.”

“What did he have?”

“Oh… About $17,000.”

~~~

A careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

~~~

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.  Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying A dollar per point.” The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.

~~~

A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

~~~

During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up.

The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn’t know what to do.

His congregation suggested that he consult a homebound 98-year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple.  The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was.

So he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation. The one whose followers stood during prayer said to the old man, “Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?”

The old man answered, “No, that is not the tradition.”

The one whose followers sat asked, “Is the tradition to sit during prayer?”

The old man answered, “No, that is not the tradition.”

Then the rabbi said to the old man, “The congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand!”

The old man interrupted, exclaiming, “THAT is our tradition!”

~~~

The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.

Herbert V. Prochnow

~~~

Laws Of Slow People

1. Slow people always walk side by side, even if they don’t know each other.

2. They drive side by side, too. If they can’t find another slow driver to pair up with, they drive in the fast lane.

3. Slow walkers never look back. When they drive, they never look in their rearview mirrors, either.

4. Slow people drift sideways so they’ll block the path of anyone trying to pass them. If two people or vehicles are trying to get around them at the same time, they drift into the path of the one that is moving at the highest speed.

5. Follow behind a slow person in the grocery store and you’ll wind up with soggy ice cream every time.

~~~

“The closest thing to being cared for is to care for someone else.”

Carson McCullers

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Those were the days

Ray’s Daily

March 21, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“There’s a certain nostalgia and romance in a place you left.”

David Guterson.

Here we go again, I am off to an eye specialist early this morning so we will revisit the past.

Ray’s Daily first published on March 21, 2005

I had the good fortune on Saturday evening to attend a story telling session given by an internationally renowned story teller. She told stories about her family, her childhood, and her life, all with respect and great humor. She started me to think about my life in the 50’s, the places I had been, and the people I had met. Especially those times when I was away from home.

As some of you know I started my post Navy career working for Remington Rand, which later became Sperry-Rand, then Sperry-Univac, and finally UNISYS. When I was hired I was sent for training to Ilion, New York, a small town located upstate, in the heart of the Mohawk Valley on one of the last remnants of the old Erie Canal.

I took a train from Chicago to Herkimer, N.Y. and then a bus to Ilion, I think my expenses for the first trip was something like $27 which included transportation in Chicago, the train ticket, food on the train, and bus fare in New York, with some additional meals thrown in. I rented a room in a private home for three dollars a week (Remington gave me $14 per week to live on), the first time I stayed. There was no television, no transistor radios, I spent my time with books and people.

Even in those days fourteen dollars did not go too far, especially when we had to wear starched white shirts and ties every day. Managing clean clothes and feeding myself without eating up the budget was a new experience. But I managed, the breakfast special was always thirty-five cents, lunch would cost me sixty-five cents, and I could get the dinner blue plate special for a dollar and a nickel, and I could buy a meal ticket good for five dollars and fifty cents worth of food for only five dollars. If my memory is correct I got my shirts washed, starched, pressed, folded, and boxed for thirteen cents each.

My family was too far away to visit, so I lived a temporary life amongst really good people, people who live on in my memory. For example, my friend Ralph and his wife Natalie owned a small restaurant where I spent a lot of my time. Every Saturday their two under ten-year old daughters would walk me to the laundry mat to help me do my weeks laundry, they would tell me about their week in school and we would just have fun waiting for my clothes to wash and then dry in the dryers.

I was back to the Valley often in the ensuing years, each time I saw and enjoyed old friends and made new ones. It was wonderful. There was so much to see and do. Ilion is in the foothills of the Adirondack Mountains providing all that nature has to offer. It was James Fennimore Cooper country with revolutionary war ghosts all around us. We had the Baseball Hall of Fame at Cooperstown, Howe Caverns, and the horse races at Saratoga Springs. But mostly we had friends, friends to walk with and to talk with. We watched the Pabst Blue Ribbon Tuesday night fights together at the town tavern where a beer cost a dime. We got six plays on the juke box for a quarter and would listen to the likes of Ray Charles, the Tijuana Brass, Connie Francis, and Johnny Cash. On the weekends we would visit one of the small restaurant/bars located all up and down the valley that had live entertainment. Those were the days of the small trios that played in a different place on the East Coast every week, and the lounge singer who entertained on Friday and Saturday nights and then ran a drill press in the factory the rest of her week. The fall was extra special since we could drive up into the Adirondacks to a place called Old Forge where we could almost hear the leaves as they changed color.

I could go on but this is enough for now. I have enjoyed spending much of the last 48 hours in imaginary conversations with those special people from so long ago, people who I have not seen for almost fifty years. I owe much to these friends from the past, I wish I could tell them how much they meant to me. I hope they would be happy with how I turned out.

~~~

True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one’s self, and in the next from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.

Joseph Addison (1672 – 1719)

~~~

An older couple went on a cruise for their anniversary.

Their conversation with the other couples they met tended towards political and international events.

At one point, the husband asked, “Honey, what do you think about the Middle East position?”

She replied, “Oh, I don’t know, dear, you know I’m not into any of that kinky stuff.”

~~~

EVER STOP TO THINK AND FORGET TO START AGAIN?

~~~

Old Mrs. Cohen sidled up to a guest at one of her daughter’s social evenings. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said, “Doctor, may I ask a question?”

“Certainly,” he said.

“Lately,” said Mrs. Cohen, “I have been having a funny pain right here under the heart–“

The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, “I’m terribly sorry, Mrs. Cohen, but the truth is, I’m a doctor of philosophy.”

“Oh,” said Mrs. Cohen, “I’m sorry!” She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back.

“Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?”

~~~

BEING OVER THE HILL IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN BEING UNDER IT.

~~~

Abe is in New York on business. On his third night, he goes back to his hotel room feeling quite miserable. Although the trip’s going well, business-wise, he’s feeling very lonely – he’s missing his wife Sarah. He casually picks up the Gideon bible from his bedside table and opens it. On the first page, he reads: –

“If you’re sick, read Psalm 18.”

“If you’re troubled, read Psalm 45.”

“If you’re lonely, read Psalm 92.”

That’s it! He stops there, immediately turns to Psalm 92 and starts to read. How surprised he is, then, when he gets to the end of the Psalm, to see someone has written: – “If you’re still lonely, why don’t you call Monique 212-755-1234.”

~~~

She said: MY HUSBAND AND I DIVORCED OVER RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES. HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOD AND I DIDN’T.

~~~

Rabbi Bloom and Rabbi Levy are sitting in their local kosher deli and when the waitress comes over, ask for two glasses of water. When the water arrives, they take out homemade sandwiches from inside their coat pockets and start to eat.

Moshe the deli manager is not happy with what he sees. So he goes over to them and says, “Look, I’ll give you both one of our snacks free of charge.  My customers won’t mind, seeing you are Rabbis. But please, you can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”

Rabbi Bloom and Rabbi Levy look at each other with twinkles in their eyes.  Without saying a word, they shrug their shoulders, exchange their homemade sandwiches and carry on eating.

~~~

The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.

Thomas Moore

~~~

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter –haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”

~~~

“I’m trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.”

Jim Loy

~~~

A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price.

When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires.

After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had enough and said, “My dear lady. If the cost of living is so high and obviously so offensive to you, why do you bother?”

~~~

Nobody sees a flower – really – it is so small it takes time- we haven’t time – and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.

Georgia O’Keeffe

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Live a Good Life

Ray’s Daily

March 18, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Don’t settle for what life gives you; make life better and build something.”

Ashton Kutcher

My brother and his wife are visiting this week. He is a world traveller and visits us for a few days most years. His visits often trigger memories of how life has treated our families. In my case my life goes on often filled with uncertainty and new challenges. Each of us deal with both our trails and opportunties the best we can. In my case each day holds the chance to do something worthy.

Here is a poem that describes how I hope to behave in the days ahead.

To live content with small means;

to seek elegance rather than luxury,

and refinement rather than fashion,

to be worthy, not respectable,

and wealthy, not rich;

to study hard, think quietly,

talk gently, act frankly,

to listen to stars and birds,

to babes and sages,

with open heart,

to bear all cheerfully,

to all bravely await occasions,

hurry never.

In a word, to let the spiritual unbidden

and unconscious grow up through the common.

This is to be my symphony.

    William Henry Channing

~~~

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.”

Helen Keller

~~~

“Air Force Maintenance Issues”

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

“Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before next flight.

(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement

(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough

(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.

(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal – #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit

(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear

(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud

(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield

(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent

(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative

(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick

(S) That’s what they’re there for

(P) Number three engine missing

(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny

(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, “fly right.” and be serious.

(P) Target Radar hums

(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words

~~~

You’re never too old to become younger.

MAE WEST

~~~

A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items.  She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.

“Excuse me,” she said, “I’m in a hurry.  Could you check me out, please?”

The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said, “Ummmm, Not bad.”

~~~

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

~~~

A couple is celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary and goes down to their old school. There, in a corner, they hold hands as they find their old desk where he had carved, “I love you, Sally.” On the way home, a bag of money falls out of an armored car in front of them. She picks it up and counts $50,000.

The husband says, “We’ve got to give it back.”

She says, “Finders keepers.” And when they get home she hides it in the attic. The next day, two FBI men show up at their home. They ask, “Pardon me, did anyone in this house find any money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”

She says, “No.”

The husband says, “My wife is lying. She took the money and hid it in the attic.”

She says, “Don’t believe him, he’s a bit senile.”

So they sit the man down and begin to question him. One FBI guy says, “Tell us the story from the beginning.”

The old man says, “Well, my wife and I were on our way home from school…”

The FBI guy looks at his partner and says,  “Let’s get out of here.”

~~~

“The best portion of a good man’s life is his little nameless, unencumbered acts of kindness and of love.”

Wordsworth

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Tag Cloud