Ray's musings and humor

Archive for April, 2013

Something has to give

“At different states in our lives, the signs of love may vary: dependence, attraction, contentment, worry, loyalty, grief, but at the heart, the source is always the same. Human beings have the rare capacity to connect with each other, against all odds.”

Anonymous

~~~

making friends

I find myself in a quandary that I thought I could avoid, too much to do for the time I have to do it. This past weekend I attended a meeting that will result in the participants needing to commit to a much higher level of activity.

I soon will have to decide on what I can continue doing and what I will have to give up. The one thing I must do is keep my promises and meet my commitments and I will not be able to do that with all that I am currently doing with a wide variety of organizations and individuals, especially with my doctor’s and my family telling me to take it easier. So we shall see what we will see.

I am going to use a past Daily today as I have to get an early Pacemaker Check this morning at the hospital and then go on to an appointment with my cardiologist to check on my various heart glitches followed by a trip to the Coagulation Clinic to check my blood thinner monitor, etc. and if that was not enough I have a Council on World Affairs African dinner this evening.

 

I am giving the staff the day off tomorrow so there will be no Daily tomorrow.

Ray’s Daily first published April 29, 2005

We had a speaker at my Kiwanis meeting yesterday who talked about networking and communicating. She talked about how we can connect with others to the benefit of both them and ourselves. I am paraphrasing her message, well maybe I am taking her message as I understood it and put my own spin on it. Here are my thoughts on how we can connect and enrich our lives.

  • You can’t connect if you are never in a place where you can meet others. Attend a club meeting, take a class, attend a lecture, take a trip, the list is endless, and when you do make sure you say hello to the people around you. The point is that if we limit our relationships to only close friends, fellow workers, and family, we will miss a lot of what life has to offer.
  • When we truly take an interest in someone else we refresh the human spirit and lay the foundation for sincere bonds of friendship. People are wonderful and complex, everyone is unique and learning more about them can be both fun and enlightening. And I am sure you will find that if you take an honest interest in others, they will take an interest in you.
  • It is our interest in each other that brings us together. Lasting relationships are built on interest, comfort, and most of all trust. Trust that we will listen to each other and do everything we can to understand. Often the very nature of our sharing implies a risk as we open up and let some of our more personal feelings emerge, we can only do that if we expect understanding and not judgment in return.

~~~

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.

Herman Melville

~~~

A teenager is:

* A person who can’t remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.

* A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.

* A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday.

* Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.

* A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can’t make a bed.

* A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver’s license.

* A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music–loud and very loud.

* An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.

* A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother.

* A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

* A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.

* A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing.

* An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.

~~~

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.

Wayne Dyer

~~~

There was this West Va. sheriff and his deputy riding along the small town.  They spot a car with out of town plates and decided to pull it over. The sheriff says “Where you from boy?”

The man says Chicago. Sheriff says, “Don’t lie to me son I saw them Illinois tags.”

~~~

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.

William James

~~~

Ten Things a Cat Thinks About

I could have sworn I heard the can opener.

Is there something I’m not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?

Why doesn’t the government do something about dogs?

I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ulterior motives?

Hmmm … If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can’t we cats ever get these stupid dogs to do anything for us?

This looks like a good spot for a nap.

Hey! No kidding, I’m sure that’s the can opener.

Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn’t given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place?

If there’s a God, how can He allow neutering?

If that really was the can opener, I’ll play finicky just to let them know who’s boss!

~~~

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

~~~

I was listening to a lady who called a radio minister. The minister was a wise, grandfatherly gentlemen who had that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who was obviously crying, says,

“I was born blind, and I’ve been blind all my life. I don’t mind so much being blind but I have some well-meaning friends who tell me if I had more faith I could be healed and see again.”

The minister asked her, “Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?”

“Why, yes, I do,” she replied.

“Well, then… the next time someone says that to you, hit them over the head with your cane,” he said. “Then tell them… ‘If you had more faith, that wouldn’t hurt!’ ”

~~~

Love is a force that connects us to every strand of the universe, an unconditional state that characterizes human nature, a form of knowledge that is always there for us if only we can open ourselves to it.

Emily H. Sell

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Advertisements

I’ll meet you in the parking lot

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Lao Tzu

What-should-I-buy

I’ll tell you one of the things that drives me crazy is shopping with friends who spend an inordinate amount of time examining everything they pick up, judging content, color, ingredients, everything! Then only to put whatever it is down and pick up something else and doing the same thing adding a comparison between the two before moving on. I don’t know if they are afraid to make a decision they think might be wrong or that the investment in time to try and find the even better product is worth the effort.

I know some folks think it is a guy thing to want to get to the buying step and it is a girl thing to shop and often not buy anything. For me I have seen both behave the same way. I am glad that I have learned to be satisfied with something that does what I want it to do without regard to alternatives.

What bothers me is that most of us truly have better things to do than spending hours with seldom any real gain. I learned I am not alone, here is what bestselling author Gretchen Rubin wrote some time ago on the subject.

Happiness Myth: You’ll Be Happier If You Insist on “The Best.”

Maybe not. As Barry Schwartz explains in his fascinating book, The Paradox of Choice, there are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met; when they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision; even if they see a bicycle that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option.

Studies suggest that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. They find the research process exhausting, yet can’t let themselves settle for anything but the best.

I’m a satisficer, and I often felt guilty about not doing more research before making decisions. In law school, one friend interviewed with fifty law firms before she decided where she wanted to go as a summer associate; I think I interviewed with six. We ended up at the same firm. Once I learned to call myself a “satisficer,” I felt more satisfied with my approach to decision-making; instead of feeling lazy and unconscientious, I could call myself prudent.

It’s one of the Secrets of Adulthood: Most decisions don’t require extensive research. In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough, and not to worry about making the perfect choice.

~~~

“If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”

Leo Tolstoy

~~~

You know you’re a nurse if……

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.

You believe not all patients are annoying. Some are unconscious.

You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.

You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock

When asked, “What color is the patient’s diarrhea?” You show them your shoes.

Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.

You carry spare meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.

You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from work is trying to call to ask you to work.

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.

Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.

You live by the motto, “To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult.”

Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

When checking the level of orientation of a patient…you aren’t sure of the answer.

You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner, break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.

You’ve sworn you’re going to have NO CODE tattooed on your chest.

~~~

You can tell it’s a new era.  Most doctors now tell people who get sick at night to take two aspirins and e-mail them in the morning.

~~~

A young Army private seeks permission from his commanding officer to leave camp the following weekend. “You see,” he explains, “my wife’s expecting.”

“I understand,” the officer tells him. “You go, and tell your wife that I wish her luck.”

The following week the same soldier is back again with the same explanation: “My wife’s expecting.”

The officer looks surprised. “Still expecting?” he asks. “Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the weekend off.”

When the same soldier appears again the third week, however, the officer loses his temper.

“Don’t tell me your wife is still expecting,” he says.

“Yes, sir,” says the soldier resolutely. “She’s still expecting.”

“What in heaven is she expecting?” cries the officer.

Says the soldier simply, “Me.”

~~~

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

~~~

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds, he remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: “Do you like potato pancakes?”

She says “No,” and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, “Do you have a brother?”

Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks: “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”

~~~

Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife.  But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife would say,”. . .And what’s that supposed to mean?” Thus, Webster’s Dictionary was born.

~~~

Happiness, satisfaction, fulfillment, joy, love… All these things work the same way. The more you search for them, the less likely you are to find them.

Patrick Rone

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Optimists have more fun

“Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.”

Arthur Rubinstein

 always be optimistic

I was at a meeting the other night of people who had a lot of years under their belt and a lot of wisdom to share. An underlining theme of many of the reports from these good folks was how important it is to stay optimistic and grateful as the years go by. There was a lot of spirit in the room and I wondered if it was because happy people just gravitate to the likeminded or is that I was around people who had chosen not to give up on life.

The big thing for me was seeing how infectious it is to be around people who have chosen to make the best of what they have. The evening just reinforced my belief that sitting home and thinking about life versus getting out and living it is a sure way to fall into a rut. I totally believe that we should not waste or time on what might have been, but rather spend it on planning what can be.

Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries wrote the following piece on how we can join the optimists who enjoy life rather than agonizing with the pessimists. It is worth reading.

Some specific steps you can take to cultivate happiness and see the glass half full

We always seem to want those things we don’t have. Moreover, we are often convinced that if we had those things we want so badly, we would finally be happy. Is the glass half empty or half full?  Life and relationships work better when the glass is half full.  Below are some simple yet specific steps you can take to cultivate happiness and see the glass half full, regardless of your relationship status.

1. Be grateful – Create a sense of gratitude for what you have, for what is working, for what is wonderful and sweet in your life.  A morning or evening gratitude list, written each day, can do wonders for helping you feel grateful.

2. Take care of yourself – Identify the small things in life that make you feel good, and do one daily.  A short walk, a few minutes of writing in your journal, a short meditation, watching the sunset.  Whatever reminds you that you are a human being and not a human doing will improve your outlook on life.

3. Be creative –  Creativity and self-expression generate happiness.  Schedule some creative time each day, even if it’s just a few minutes of writing, painting, sculpting, etc.

4. Move – Moving our bodies generates feel-good hormones called endorphins.  Move a little every day to stay happy.

5. Get someone to take care of you – It feels good to be taken care of, even in small ways.  Get a massage, a manicure, someone to carry your groceries, launder your clothes, or fix something for you.

6. Read inspirational material – It helps to be reminded of positive thoughts and positive attitudes.  Get a small book of positive, inspirational thoughts and keep it by your desk.  Read one or two thoughts each day.

7. Contribute – Stand up for something that matters to you.  Contributing, making a difference feels good.  It boosts your self-esteem, your gratitude and feeling of well being.

8. Get some time – I know this one is hard, especially if you are a single parent.  But if you are determined, you can find some time every day to just be.  Make sure you do this – it will make a big difference in your ability to be happy.

9. Be in nature – Nature rejuvenates and restores the human spirit.  Whether your brand of nature is mountains or the ocean, give yourself the gift of visiting it frequently.

10. Be happy – No matter how many wonderful things you do to create a positive, happy, satisfied life, you could still end up unhappy.  Ultimately, happiness, gratitude, a feeling of satisfaction is a choice.  People often do not choose happiness.  Many feel refusing to be happy will somehow get them what whey want, like a child holding his breath.  Holding your breath will not get your what you want.  It is happiness that attracts.

~~~

One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.

Lucille Ball

~~~

Some Camping Tips

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.

It’s entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.

~~~

A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.

~~~

“What do you love most about me,” a husband asked his wife, “my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?”

“What I love most about you,” responded the man’s wife, “is your incredible sense of humor.”

~~~

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

George Burns

~~~

A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry.

As they went by the Tower of London the cabbie explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412.

The Texan replied, “Shoot, a little ol’ tower like that? In Houston we’d have that thing up in two weeks!”

Next they passed the House of Parliament – started in 1544 and completed in 1618.

“Well, boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a year!”

As they passed Westminster Abbey the cabbie was silent. “Whoah! What’s that over there?” asked the Texan.

Replies the cabbie, scratching his head. . . .”Now that, I don’t know; it sure wasn’t there yesterday!”

~~~~~~

“Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.”

Wilferd A. Peterson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Choose to be…..

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

Theodore Roosevelt

 be-yourself

If you have been reading the Daily over the last year or so then you know that I often forward some of the wisdom offered by Angel and Marc Hack. The reason I find them so valuable is their emphasis on our ability to live positive lives. Recently Angel Hack compiled a list of tips on how we can help make our day’s count. Here is what she wrote:

 

30 Ways You Should Always BE

Why would you ever want to compromise something that’s beautiful and true to create something unpleasant and fake? You’re lucky enough to BE; make your being count. Lose track of the negativity and dishonesty.  Live positively and authentically.

  1. 1.      When you wake up to a new day, BE grateful for another chance.
  2. 2.      When others take the easy road, BE the one who takes the right road.
  3. 3.      When something must be done, BE proactive.
  4. 4.      When several possibilities present themselves, BE decisive with your priorities.
  5. 5.      When achieving something is important to you, BE open about it and go for it.
  6. 6.      When the work seems overwhelming, BE concerned only with the next small step.
  7. 7.      When worries cross your mind, BE sure to focus on what you can control.
  8. 8.      When real problems arise, BE ready to address them upfront.
  9. 9.      When mistakes are made, BE okay with them and learn from them.
  10. 10.   When you have something to say, BE willing to speak up.
  11. 11.   When what has been done in the past still isn’t working, BE the needed change.
  12. 12.   When doubt is lingering in your mind, BE confident in your abilities.
  13. 13.   When others have a different opinion, BE open to new ideas.
  14. 14.   When others insist that it has to be a certain way, BE one with your intuition.
  15. 15.   When you’re feeling down, BE bold enough to smile anyway.
  16. 16.   When you feel stress building, pause for a moment and just BE and breathe.
  17. 17.   When the unexpected occurs, BE flexible and adaptable.
  18. 18.   When something doesn’t make sense, BE assertive and ask questions.
  19. 19.   When someone hurts you, BE willing to forgive and love again.
  20. 20.   When a relationship continuously hurts you, BE willing to let go and refocus your love and respect inward.
  21. 21.   When someone has something you want, BE happy for them.
  22. 22.   When everyone seems to be competing, BE your own competition – beat your own records.
  23. 23.   When you feel pressured to be someone you’re not, just BE yourself.
  24. 24.   When you aren’t sure what you have to offer, BE sincere and offer honesty.
  25. 25.   When you cross paths with a stranger, BE the reason they smile.
  26. 26.   When you feel on top of the world, BE the hands that pull others up with you.
  27. 27.   When someone you care about needs you, BE there without question or hesitation.
  28. 28.   When you truly love someone, BE loving in words and deeds.
  29. 29.   When it’s time to relax with your family, let go of everything else and BE fully present.
  30. 30.   When the day finally comes to an end, BE at peace knowing you did your best.

How do you intend to BE today?

~~~

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.”

James Oppenheim

~~~

A sailor, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby grave. The sailor walked up to the man and asked, “When do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?”

The old Chinese man replied with a smile, “Same time your friend comes up to smell the flowers.”

~~~

“The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.”

Chinese proverb

~~~

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, “Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?”

As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he’s on her level and asks, “Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?”

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward, and says in a tiny quiet voice, “I don’t think my python weally gives a thit”.

~~~

“Man has never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.”

Bernard Williams

~~~

A generally good-humored boss was finally compelled to call an employee into his office about the sick leave policy. “It has not escaped my attention,” he pointed out, “that every time there’s a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor.”

“You know you’re right, sir,” exclaimed the bashfully grinning employee. “I didn’t realize it. You don’t suppose she’s faking it, do you?”

~~~

Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?

~~~

It was a typical Fall Saturday and the wife happened upon her husband sprawled on the couch, beer in hand, staring at a college football game on the TV. After taking in the scene a few moments, she said, “Ya know George, somehow I find it difficult to believe that you’re the end product of millions of years of evolution.

~~~

Q: How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, that’s a hardware problem.

~~~

Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod. “I’m going to do that when I win the lottery,” … announced Blonde #1.

“Do what?” asked Blonde #2.

“Send my lawn out to be mowed.

~~~

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

Maria Robinson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Thank you for all you do

“It’s amazing how much you can get done if you don’t worry about who gets the credit.”

Dallin H. Oaks

well_done

I was with a friend recently who I hold in high regard. I was glad that she was willing to share all the steps she had taken in her life that brought her to the position she now holds. Her commitment to excellence and service began when she was in high school that included time spent in Central America, she later excelled at a prestigious university that developed a tailored degree program built on her special skills and interests. She then spent years in service to others both in the U.S. and abroad. And now today she leads a program for a major hospital network that is working to improve the public health of millions of people.

What was ironic about our lengthy conversations was that she was concerned about her application for membership in a respected organization. You see one of the questions asked her to list her awards and medals and she didn’t have any, at least in her own mind she didn’t. I let her know that in my mind she had many, she had been chosen for unique and important tasks time after time. She was regularly selected from pools that included many good people for jobs that made a difference in the lives of the many she served.

I have a wall filled with plaques, citations and awards and yet in no way would I consider any of them as important as what my friend was able to do because of her heart and her skill. Far too often we look for the trappings of success rather than the success itself. What she has done is worthy in itself and shame on us if we require some token as evidence of her good work.

Here is a short story I have saved for some time; I think it is a good time to share it with you. I don’t know who wrote it, if I did I would thank him for his thoughts.

 

Are you looking for a Cup or a Coffee?

A group of Computer Engineers, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups, some ordinary looking, some expensive, some exquisite. He told them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in their hands, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap looking ones.

“While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and worse, you were eyeing each other’s cups.”

“Now if life is coffee , then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn’t change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it. “

~~~

“Don’t worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.”

Abraham Lincoln

~~~

Mrs. Moskowitz was trying to describe to the interior decorator exactly how she wanted her house done. She said, “I leave the art and design entirely to you. I ask only that whatever you do, it be spectacular. I want it done in such a way that when my dear best friend, Mrs. Finkel, should come in for the first time, she should instantly have a stroke with jealousy and drop dead.”

~~~

Abe asked, “Is my face dirty or is it just my imagination?”

Mollie answered, “Your face is clean but I don’t know about your imagination.”

~~~

A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a Farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer’s soul the preacher asked the man, “Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?”

Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work, the farmer replied, “Naw, these are soybeans.”

“You don’t understand,” said the preacher. “Are you a Christian?”

With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, “Nope my name is Jones. You must be looking for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here.”

The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, “Are you lost?”

“Naw! I’ve lived here all my life,” answered the farmer.

“Are you prepared for the resurrection?” the frustrated preacher asked.

This caught the farmer’s attention and he asked, “When’s it gonna be?”

Thinking he had accomplished something the young Preacher replied, “It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day.”

Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, “Well, don’t mention it to my wife. She don’t get out much and she’ll wanna go all three days.”

~~~

Everybody at the FBI seems to be a special agent. Don’t they have any regular ones?

~~~

A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn’t want to pay up.  What should I do?”

“Do you have any proof?” asked the lawyer.

“Nope,” replied the man.

“Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you,” said the lawyer.

“But it’s only $500,” replied the man.

“Precisely.  That’s what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him.”

~~~

I solved the parking problem.  I bought a parked car.

~~~

As the passengers settled in on a West Coast commuter flight, a flight attendant announced, “We’d like you folks to help us welcome our new co-pilot. He’ll be performing his first commercial landing for us today, so be sure to give him a big round of applause when we come to a stop.”

The plane made an extremely bumpy landing, bouncing hard two or three times before taxiing to a stop. Still, the passengers applauded. Then the attendant’s voice came over the intercom, “Thanks for flying with us. And don’t forget to let our co-pilot know which landing you liked best.”

~~~

“Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.”

Cynthia Nelms

~~~

“I’m ashamed of the way we live,” a young wife said to her lazy husband who refused to find a job.

“My father pays our rent. My mother buys all of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car. I’m just so ashamed.”

The husband rolled over on the couch. “You should be ashamed,” he agreed, “Those two worthless brothers of yours never give us a cent.”

~~~

The reward of a thing well done is having done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Have a joyful day

May your walls know joy; May every room hold laughter and every window open to great possibility.

Maryanne Radmacher-Hershey,

 beautiful girl enjoying the summer sun outdoors in the park

I don’t really understand why there are so many people who seem to feel the need to try to convince us we should be as unhappy as they are. They are so busy concentrating on their woes they have little time for anything else and that results in guaranteeing that joy will always elude them. The problem is that they often drag others down with them.

The people I really like are those that strive to find things to be happy about. They are the folks who smile often, laugh frequently and share their sparkle with others. I am confident that if you are sure you will be unhappy, you will be, and when you start your day expecting to be happy the chances are that you will be. In my case I find paying attention and appreciating the little things helps me to know that I do not need anything special to break me out of the doldrums.

We really don’t have to travel to a remote location and pan for joy, it is all around us, all we have to do is open our eyes and see it, pick it up, enjoy it and then share it with others. Ralph Marston wrote this piece awhile back that I like, I hope you will too.

 

Filled with joy

How do you keep yourself filled with joy? Give it away every chance you get. Every encounter is an opportunity to add richness to your own life and to someone else’s life. Make the most of those opportunities. When you don’t feel like being joyful, that’s when it will make the biggest difference. When you don’t feel like smiling, that’s when a smile will feel the best.

Joy is always there to experience and to share, when you simply let it come. Go ahead, let it come now, and again, and again. The better you feel, the more effective you’ll be at everything you do. Feel how good it feels to let the joy inside flow out from you.

Feel the goodness as that joy fills your world.

~~~

When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.

Tecumseh

~~~

For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin.

“Hooray!” shouted the guide. “Here comes man’s best friend!”

“Yeah,” said the Irishman. “An’ look at the size of the dog that’s bringin’ it!”

~~~

“I was wise enough to never grow up while fooling most people into believing I had.”

Margaret Mead

~~~

Albert walks in to his doctor’s office for his yearly physical exam as he has done the same time every year that the can remember. The doctor takes him through all of the motions, does the normal tests and then leaves to get the results. After about 15 minutes the doctor returns with a very sad look on his face.

“Well Doc, what kind of shape am I in this time?” Albert asks.

“Albert, I don’t know what to say. The news is bad. Really bad.” says the doctor.

“What is it Doc?” asks Albert.

“I hate to have to give you such bad news. I can’t find the words to tell you. I really don’t know what to say.”

Albert, being a strong man who appreciates straight talk, tells the doctor, “Ok, don’t beat around the bush. Tell me what you know. I can take it”.

“Well”, says the doctor, “let me put it this way. I think that you should go to Arkansas and visit the hot springs there for a nice relaxing mud bath. Spend some time soaking in the mud.”

“Oh, so I need to relax a little bit, eh? Will that cure me Doc?” asks Albert.

“No Albert, it won’t cure you. And it won’t help you relax. But it will help you get used to being covered in dirt.”

~~~

Yield to temptation, it may not pass this way again.

~~~

A guy is at the Pearly Gates, hoping to be admitted, and St. Peter says to the guy, “I can’t see that you did anything really good in your life, but you never did anything bad either. I tell you what: if you can tell me one REALLY good deed that you did, you’re in.”

So the guy says, “Once I was driving down the road and saw a gang of bikers assaulting this poor girl. So I pulled over, got out my car, grabbed a tire iron and walked straight up to the gang’s leader – a huge ugly guy with a studded leather jacket, bald head but with hair all over his body, and a chain running from his nose to his ear. “Undaunted, I ripped the chain out of his nose and ear and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and, wielding my tire iron, yelled to the rest of them, ‘You leave this poor, innocent lady alone! You’re all a bunch of sick,deranged animals! GO HOME BEFORE I TEACH YOU ALL A LESSON IN PAIN!'” Impressed, St. Peter says, “Really? When did this happen?”

“Oh, about two minutes ago.”

~~~

“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”

Johnny Carson

~~~

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.”

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

~~~

Without time, everything would happen at once!

~~~

Two postal workers had just gotten off their routes for the day when one of the postal workers saw the other step on a snail.

“Why did you step on that snail, Tom?,” asked his perplexed coworker.

“Cause that stupid snail’s been following me around work all day!”

~~~

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, said a minister, a lot of folks must really love our church.

~~~

Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seem to go hand in hand.  I wasn’t surprised when a friend of my daughter showed me a Japanese symbol on her hip.

“Please don’t tell my parents,” she begged.

“I won’t,” I promised.  “By the way, what does that stand for?”

She replied, “Honesty.”

~~~

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Love Life

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance.

Bruce Barton

loving-life-logo

I had another of those fully loaded days yesterday that started at 4:30 am and did not end until late afternoon and today will be more of the same. I have an early blood draw and then I am off for a day that will not let me return until later this evening. I am sure you already know what that means, Ray has writers block and so he is once again and returning to yesteryear for today’s Daily.

 

Ray’s Daily first published on Wednesday April 19, 2006

Why do so many of us spend our time and money ornamenting ourselves in order to create an impressive image in the eyes of others? Is it insecurity? It is as if we think a better car, a tailored suit, a bigger diamond transforms us into something other than ourselves. Real beauty rests below the surface; it is the product of how we feel, how we act, and our love of ourselves and others. I think we all would be better off if we did not spend our lives masquerading as someone else. Investing in ourselves does not require material wealth it just requires zest and love of life.

Someone wise has written how we might enhance our inner beauty, here is what he said:

 

May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand. May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optimism. Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone. May you discover enough goodness in others to believe in a world of peace. May a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile be yours every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as well as receive them. Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending.

Teach love to those who hate, and let that love embrace you as you go out into the world. May the teachings of those you admire become part of you, so that you may call upon them. Remember, those whose lives you have touched and whose have touched yours are always a part of you, even if the encounters were less than you would have wished. It is the content of the encounter that is more important than the form.

May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart. Find time each day to see beauty and love in the world around you. Realize that each person has limitless abilities, but each of us is different in our own way. What you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future. May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility. Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience. May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself, and not be dependent on another’s judgment of your accomplishments. May you always feel loved.

Author unknown

~~~

“Only after we can learn to forgive ourselves can we accept others as they are because we don’t feel threatened by anything about them which is better than us.”

Stephen Covey

~~~

A TEENAGER IS…

– A person who can’t remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.

– A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.

– A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday.

– Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.

– A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can’t make a bed.

– A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver’s license.

– A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music–loud and very loud.

– An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.

– A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother.

– A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

– A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.

– A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing.

– An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.

~~~

Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.

~~~

There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, “Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door.”

Soon after he opened his shop the first man came in and said, “I want a shave!”

The barber said, “Sure, just sit in the seat and I’ll be with you in a moment.”

The barber went in the back and prayed a quick desperate prayer saying, “God, the first customer came in and I’m going to witness to him. So please give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say to him. Amen.”

Then quickly the barber came out with his razor knife in one hand and a Bible in the other while saying, “Good morning sir. I have a question for you……….Are you ready to die?”

~~~

You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.

~~~

Rita wanted her husband to stop smoking so she sent him to the doctor. The doctor gave him a box of these patches and said to use one a day. He said ok, and took them home. Rita asked him what the doctor said and he showed her the patches and told her that the doctor said to use one a patch day. Rita commenced to sew one patch on each shirt he had. The both of them are still trying to figure out how that’s going to help him quit smoking.

~~~

To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity.

~~~

My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex life and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs?

~~~

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

Will Rogers

~~~

Investment Definitions

STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.

BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.

BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell “Broke”.

BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.

BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you’re supposed to be listening to your manager’s presentation.

SHORT POSITION: A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn’t actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. “The rent, sir?” “Hahaha, well, I’m a little short this month.”).

COMMISSION: The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.

YAK: What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call.

~~~

The capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest meaning and significance.

Pablo Casals

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Tag Cloud