Ray's musings and humor

Archive for June, 2020

Smile

Ray’s Daily

June 30, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose. “

Tom Wilson

Smile

These are really tough times for many. Illness, income loss and isolation have taken their toll. It can be devastating if we let today’s challenges take us down. Even during the worst of times, we have each other and even at what seems to be the worst we are better off than most of the world’s folks.

Yes, there are reasons some will go each day with a frown on their face, but that only makes things worse. There are plenty of reasons to smile. When we do it helps us all to feel better. Even if we are wearing a mask, the smile we offer shines through in our eyes and words.

Here is an excerpt from the Live Happier Blog that reminds us why we should smile

Why I believe smiling is paramount in living the happiness lifestyle:

Reverse property – I think there is a technical mathematical expression for this, but basically it states that if something works one way then it will work in reverse as well. e.g. Happy=Smile; Smile=Happy. This works, even though it may not be instantaneously and … you have to want to and some days that can be a real challenge!

Confidence – Smiling makes you feel better about yourself and you are the foundation of you; therefore smiling will help you build self esteem and confidence.

Friendly – Smiling makes you more inviting, which means others are more likely to engage with you in conversation. Not always a great thing for introverts, however; but, it is for this very reason that also makes people more trusting of you and more likely to do business with you or hire you because being around a “frowny face” is a downer. IT OPENS DOORS!

Something as simple as smiling can be a life changer. Think about all the other things you’ve tried in life. Maybe  the only thing you really need to do is smile to live a happier Life.

~~~

“A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.”

William Hazlitt

~~~

Beware, these people are in the gene pool and reproducing! Real 911 Calls, believe it or not!!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I’m wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency? Caller: Fire, I guess. Dispatcher: How can I help you sir? Caller: I was wondering…..does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks? Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency? Caller: Well, I’ve spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and… well, do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me? Dispatcher: Help you what? Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency? Caller : My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart. Dispatcher: Is this her first child? Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is……….

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn.. I think I’m going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn…… Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No. Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the Police.

~~~

Remember this–that very little is needed to make a happy life.

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

~~~

When I picked up my Ford Escort at the service station after some minor repairs, I paid by check as usual. A couple of weeks later I came home from work to find my wife quite upset. She gave me the silent treatment until I figured out why she was so angry. She had noticed the canceled check, and on the memo line I had written “Escort Service.”

~~~

The company I worked for always had problems with interoffice communications.  For instance, last week the Personnel Department sent around a memo on sexual harassment Three people initialed it and six people signed up for it.

~~~

A best friend is like a four-leaf clover…. hard to find, and lucky to have.

~~~

The Washington Post had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had it “in the old days.” Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below.

Second Runner-Up:

In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.

First Runner-Up:

In my day, we didn’t have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you’d weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we’d use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn’t adjust our skates, which didn’t really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today.

And the winner:

In my day, we didn’t have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.

Honorable Mentions:

  • In my day, we didn’t have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes.
  • In my day, we didn’t have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.
  • In my day, we didn’t get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying ‘Doors closing.’ We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.
  • In my day, we didn’t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
  • Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.
  • Back in my day, ’60 Minutes’ wasn’t just a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 60-year-old guys.
  • In my day, we didn’t have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.
  • Back in my day, they hadn’t invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight.

~~~

“Maman told me that every time you smile, a very tiny bit of the smile stays stuck to your face, so as you get older and older your face starts to show all the tiny bits of all your smiles and you look like you are smiling all the time, even when you are just thinking about what to have for breakfast. She said, also, that if you frown a lot then the frown sticks to your face instead. That way when you are old you have a very frowny face and look cross all the time and people are scared of you.”

Claire King

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Happy Aging

Ray’s Daily

June 29, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.”

Frank Lloyd Wright

aging

Here we go again, a new week. Hat surprises me these days is that my wife and me are staying pretty happy. We are sequestered, the outside world is suffering from the virus and depression. I do hear a lot about the good things some peopleare doing for others and I applaud their efforts.

As you know Nancy and I live in a senior residential facility that includes folks even more than a hundred years old. The thing that I like most about so many of my neighbors is how upbeat they are. Their positive attitudes are contagious.

I always have, and hope I always will chose happiness and avoid the doldrums that come from giving up on life. I may not be as healthy as I once was, certainly I am not as spry, but I can still do enough to keep me happily occupied, so my life is good. I hope yours is as well.

Here is a story that reminds me of some of the good people I know, I hope you enjoy it.

Each day is a gift

A 92-year-old delicate but well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and his face shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

‘I love it,’ he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

‘Mr. Jones, you haven’t seen the room; just wait.’

‘That doesn’t have anything to do with it,’ he replied.

‘Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged … it’s how I arrange my mind.

I already decided to love it. ‘It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.’

‘Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away. Just for this time in my life.’

‘Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in.’

‘So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.’

Remember these five simple rules to be happy:

  1. Free your heart from hatred
  2. Free your mind from worries
  3. Live simply
  4. Give more
  5. Expect less

Author Unknown

~~~

“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.”

Robert Browning

~~~

While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk to Bernie.

Rabbi: “What are doing here with a dog?”

Bernie: “The dog came here to pray.”

“Oh, come on.” says the Rabbi.

“YES!” says Bernie.

Rabbi: “I don’t believe you. You are just fooling around;  that’s not a proper thing to do in temple.”

Bernie: “Its true..!”

“Ok”, says the Rabbi (thinking he would call Bernie’s bluff), “then show me what the dog can do.”

“OK” says Bernie nodding to the dog. The dog proceeds to open up the barrel under his neck and removes a yarmulke, a tallis (puts them on his head) and prayer book and actually starts saying prayers in Hebrew! The Rabbi is so shocked he listens for a full 15 minutes.

When the Rabbi regains his composure, he is so impressed with the quality of the praying he says to Bernie. “Do you think your dog would consider going to rabbinical school????”

Bernie, throwing up his hands in disgust says, “YOU TALK TO HIM! He wants to be a doctor!”

~~~

“There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.”

George Santayana

~~~

According to an abcnews.com feature story, nearly eight in 10 people polled said lack of respect and courtesy is a serious national problem, and six in 10 said the problem is getting worse.

Symptoms cited are talking loudly on cell phones in public; driving obnoxiously; leaving people on hold; cursing and littering.

The remaining respondents were quoted as saying, “Here’s a quarter, go call someone who gives a crap.”

~~~

“In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is.”

Chuck Reid

~~~

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.

“What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?” asked the officer.

“I’m going to a lecture.”

“And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?” the cop asked.

“My wife.”

~~~

“If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?”

Laurence J. Peter

~~~

A high-school geometry teacher started one lesson on triangles by reading a theorem. “If an angle is an exterior angle of a triangle, then its measure is greater than the measure of either of its corresponding remote interior angles.”

He noticed that one student wasn’t taking notes and asked him why.

“Well,” he replied sincerely, “I’m waiting until you start speaking English.”

~~~

“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”

Abraham Lincoln

~~~

This fellow was being sold a very cheap suit.

“But the left arm is a lot longer than the right arm,” he complained.

“That’s why the suit is such a bargain,” the sales clerk explained. “Just cock your left shoulder up a little, like this, and tuck this left lapel under your chin a bit, like this.”

“But the right leg is way too short,” argued the customer.

“No problem,” the sales clerk answered. “Just keep your right knee bent a little at all times, walk like this, and no one will notice. That’s why this suit is only thirty dollars.”

Finally, the fellow bought the suit, cocked his left shoulder into the air, tucked the suit’s left lapel under his chin, bent his right knee, and limped out of the store toward his car.

Two doctors happened along and noticed him.

“Good heavens,” the first doctor said to the second, “look at that poor crippled fellow.”

“Yeah,” answered the second doctor. “But doesn’t that suit fit great?”

~~~

“In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber.  So long as it receives a message of beauty, hope, cheer, and courage – so long are you young.  When the wires are all down and our heart is covered with the snow of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and only then, are you grown old.”

Douglas MacArthur

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

We all need them

Ray’s Daily

June 27, 2020

http://rays-daily

A man’s growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

friendship

I hope you are doing OK during these trying times. If you are like I am you have come to appreciate being able to communicate with friends and family. I am sorry for those whoare so alone with little human contact.

Over the years I have valued making new friends even though it was not easy. I am glad I had the patience to learn more about the people I met even if at first I did not like them much. In fact I would not have some friends I now like the most if it was not that I learned more about them and liked what I learned. There has never been a time in our lives that we have not needed others more. So my friends I am so glad I know you and I like forward to the day we can meet again.

Recently Marc Chernoff wrote and article about being grateful, here is an excerpt from that article.

Gratitude

Yes, there are incredibly painful parts of my life, and it’s OK to feel the pain they bring. But it’s also important that I remember the rest of my life too, and to also remember that even the painful experiences make life as intricate and remarkable as it is. Life would be impossible without challenges. There is no happiness without some sadness—one requires the other.

The makeover of my mindset and how I felt about my life in that moment, on that really hard night, was extraordinary. And it all stemmed from going back to the fundamentals—I found some gratitude.

I’ve used this same process dozens of times since that night, and it continues to make a world of difference:

  • When someone upsets me, I try to find one thing about them I’m grateful for.
  • When I catch myself procrastinating on a task, I look at why I’m grateful for a opportunity to complete the task.
  • When I get sick or injure my body, I focus on how grateful I am to be alive and able to heal.
  • When I lose someone I love, I grieve, but I am also grateful for the time and experiences I shared with them.
  • When something negative happens with the work I do, I remember to be grateful for the ability to work and serve others, and that these challenges allow me to grow wiser.
  • When someone doesn’t like me, or judges me unfairly, I do my best to be grateful that they care enough to even pay me some attention. Attention is time, and time is a gift.

The bottom line is that the art of being grateful on really hard days starts with you. And make no mistake about it: the secret to being grateful is no secret. You choose to be grateful. Then you do it again and again. If you forget, begin again.

~~~

Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

~~~

The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television…

A harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of her return.

I was trying to keep my kids from becoming restless when suddenly shouts of victory came from the bar.

“Hey,” commented my 11-year-old, “it sounds as if someone just got their food.”

~~~

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

Erica Jong

~~~

He said… What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said…Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

~~~

He said… Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.
She said…Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
~~~

Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she’s wearing a jumpsuit.

Rita Rudner

~~~

A young couple decided they needed an au pair, and arranged for a girl to come over from Northern Finland.  When she arrived, the wife asked, “Can you cook?”

“No,” said the girl, “My mother always did that.”

“Can you do housework?” asked the wife.

“No, my oldest sister always did that.”

“Well,” said the wife, “You’d better just look after the children.”

“I don’t know how,” said the girl. “My youngest sister always did that.”

“What can you do, then?” asked the wife, in desperation.

“Well,” said the Finnish girl brightly, “I can milk reindeer.”

~~~

You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

~~~

Kisses blown are kisses wasted

Kisses aren’t kisses unless there tasted

Kisses spread germs and germs are hated,

So kiss me baby, i’m vacinated!!

~~~

All’s well that ends.

~~~

A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. He replied, “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise.”

~~~

“Things could be worse. I could be one of my creditors.”

Henny Youngman

~~~

Mike was lying on his deathbed.  “You only have a little while longer in this world,” the kindly parish priest warned the sick man.  “If there is anything you would like before you go, I shall do my best to get it for you.”

The weakening patient replied, “Father, I’d like to hear the village band play once more.”

The band was summoned and played its best, after which Mike remarked, “Now I can die happy. There’ll be nothing in hell worse than that.”

~~~

Think young. Aging is for wine.

~~~

Audrey Greyson was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house. The only relief Audrey got from her chores was the twice-a-week bridge game she shared with a dozen other women. The only flaw in the bridge club relationship was that Audrey loved to tell off-color stories and the girls didn’t want to hear them.

To teach Audrey a lesson, the other women decided that the next time she told an off-color story, they’d just get up, walk out, and meet at another home but without Audrey.

Sure enough, at the next bridge club meeting, Audrey started, “You know, girls, there’s a rumor going around that a busload of prostitutes will be leaving in the morning for that big gold find up in Alaska, and they say…” Just then, the women all stood up and started for the door.

Audrey was disconcerted, but only for a moment. Then she understood
what was going on and said, “Hey! Girls! Hold on, hold on! There’s plenty of time because the bus doesn’t leave until morning!”

~~~

Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality

~~~

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet.  She had been told the combination, but couldn’t quite remember it.  Finally, she went to the pastor’s study and asked for help.

The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial.  After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment.  Finally, he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently.  Then he looked back at the lock and quickly turned to the final number and opened the lock.

The teacher was amazed.  “I’m in awe at your faith, pastor,” she said.

“It’s really nothing,” he answered.

“The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling.”

~~~

There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first; when you learn to live for others, they will live for you.

Paramahansa Yogananda

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry!

Ray’s Daily

June 25, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well”

Voltaire

appreciationd

Sorry, I had a reocurance of my inability to use my right hand, so no Dailies the last few days. By inceasing my medications and some therapy I am doing better. But still not totally recovered so I am again taking to easy way out. Here is another Daily from the past.

Ray’s Daily first published on June 25, 2008

I have another one of those full days. I had a breakfast meeting; I still have to do a major lengthy upgrade to my GPS system and on and on; I won’t bore you with it all. I did not want to again just do a reprint from the past as I have been prone to do lately because I just got a flood update from the Salvation Army that included appreciation for our financial contributions. If you were one of our online contributors, thank you; you have helped make a difference in the lives of some pretty desperate people. If you wanted to make a contribution and did not get around to it we still could use your help, you can make a donation today at http://salvationarmyindiana.org/kiwanis.html.

Since appreciation is today’s theme, I want to let you know how much I appreciate our connection. Many of you have become more than readers, you have become friends. I am especially grateful to those of you who share your wisdom and offer your counsel. I also find it awesome how many of you are doing so much for others, you are truly a band of heroes.

~~~

A random thought from Ray’s notebook.

Does it seem to you that we have become a people that need someone to blame for all of our problems? Some tell us everything is due to the NAFTA treaty, for others it is the immigrants, and for still others it is our religious differences. Sadly we seldom think it is us. Both our government and our people have spent money we don’t have and we have seen the dollar plummet in value. Oil and food cost shoot up as the dollar weakens and we view our consumption of a quarter of the world’s resources as our right. Yet we take little responsibility for our plight. We go to war but are not asked to make any personal sacrifices; it is only the people we send and their families who pay a terrible price. By most measures we no longer can consider ourselves superior to other nations and yet we don’t shore up our educational delivery systems, we don’t take action to slow the academic decline and if the truth be known too many of our decision makers have become questionable role models for the future generations.

~~~

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

~~~

A woman whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds – and girth – was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership.

When the salesman’s pitch had run its course, he sought to close with the typical line, “Now what would it take to get you into one of these?”

Looking at the Jeep’s high front seat, the woman replied, “Probably a crowbar.”

~~~

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut save you 30 cents?

Peg Bracken

~~~

A gentile once wandered into a Jewish restaurant and ordered roast chicken. It arrived complete with potatoes and a few sundries, and the diner looked at it without much favor. He said to the waiter, “Don’t I get a green vegetable?”

And the waiter said, “And what color is the pickle? Purple?”

~~~

He who hesitates is probably right.

~~~

She said:

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her shot.

“NO!  NO!  NO!” she screamed.

“Lizzie,” her mother scolded.  “That’s not polite behavior.”

At that, the girl yelled even louder, “NO, THANK YOU!  NO, THANK YOU!”

~~~

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

~~~

As she was about to leave the house for her new job, she thought it would be fun if he picked her up at work and they could go out to dinner. She put a note on their dining room table that said, “For a good time, call…” and she put her new work number.

When her husband failed to call, she took the bus home.

“Where were you?” she asked. “Didn’t you get my note?”

“Oh,” he replied with a sheepish grin, “I wasn’t sure who wrote it.”

~~~

“Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who has a low opinion of himself.”

Anthony Trollope

~~~

After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.

At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.

As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”

~~~

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternatives.

Maurice Chevalier ~

~~~

A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons.

A passerby asks her how old the boys are.

“The doctor is three” the mother answers, “and the lawyer is two.”

~~~

“Looking through the want ads last week, I came across a job that required a college degree or the equivalent. Finally, I thought, my eight years of high school are paying off.”

Buzz Nutley

~~~

At the end of the college year, a star football player celebrated the relaxation of team curfew by attending a late night campus party. Soon after arriving, he became captivated by a beautiful coed and eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many guys at these parties that she’d date.

“Oh, I have a 3.8, so I’m much more attracted to the strong academic types than to dumb party animals,” she said. “What’s your G. P. A.?”

Grinning from ear to ear, the jock boasted, “I get about 25 in the city and 40 on the highway.”

~~~

Forgive all who have offended you. Not for them, but for yourself.

~~~

A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is…”

“Wait! Back up a minute,” The man says. “My agent called?”

~~~

Science is true. Don’t be misled by fact.

~~~

A worried father asked his daughter if her latest beau was serious about their relationship.

“I’ll say he is, Daddy,” responded the girl. “Just last night he asked me how much you make, what kind of meals Mom serves, and if you two are easy to get along with.”

~~~

Don’t confuse an open mind with one that’s vacant.

~~~

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer’s garden.  “I’ll give you my two pennies for that tomato,” said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine. “No,” said the farmer, “I get a dime for a tomato like that one.” The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, “Will you take two pennies for that one?” “Yes,” replied the farmer, “I’ll give you that one for two cents.” “OK,” said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer’s hand, “I’ll pick it up in about a week.”

~~~

“Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call “failure” isn’t the falling down, but the staying down.”

Mary Pickford

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

On my way

Ray’s Daily

June 22, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

If you’re going through hell, keep going.    

Winston Churchill

on my way

I am a semi-new person. I have all my new teeth and can eat normally again. My kids got me a new monitor for my computer that has a much larger screen so I have no problem reading my e-mail. They also got me a scale that use a voice to tell me my weight, so no vision problems there. And if that was not enough my pulmonologist ordered me a new CPAP (breathing machine) that is helping me get a sound sleep.

The good news is I now have limited use of my right hand. It has been a difficult and painful month created by a severe case of the gout. It now seems like it is almost over. I am glad that the hospital and doctor’s visits are behind me, no more shots and less medicines, yippee. While I was on some heavy pain pills the only choice was to keep going, not easy but necessary.

See it through

When you’re up against a trouble,

Meet it squarely, face to face;

Lift your chin and set your shoulders,

Plant your feet and take a brace.

When it’s vain to try to dodge it,

Do the best that you can do;

You may fail, but you may conquer,

See it through!

 

Black may be the clouds about you

And your future may seem grim,

But don’t let your nerve desert you;

Keep yourself in fighting trim.

If the worst is bound to happen,

Spite of all that you can do,

Running from it will not save you,

See it through!

 

Even hope may seem but futile,

When with troubles you’re beset,

But remember you are facing

Just what other men have met.

You may fail, but fall still fighting;

Don’t give up, whate’er you do;

Eyes front, head high to the finish.

See it through!

Edgar Guest

~~~

If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.

H.G. Wells

~~~

Most people deserve each other.

All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding.

The gifts you buy your spouse are never as good and apropos as the gifts your neighbor buys their spouse.

Never get overly excited about a man/woman by just the way they look from behind.

If you help a relative in need, he/she will remember you the next time they are in need.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.

Toothaches always start on Friday night right before the weekend when the Dental Office will be closed.

~~~

“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”

George Carlin

~~~

She said: My husband and I were watching some TV show the other night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he were in fact “cheating” on her. My husband asked me if I would ever do that.

I said, “Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you.”

~~~

According to a new poll, women are much better liars than men.

At least that’s what THEY say… but they could be lying.

~~~

A man is lost in the desert.  He used up the last of his water three days ago and he’s lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling “Mush! Mush!”

Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again, closer this time — “Mush! Mush!”

Propping himself up on one elbow he squints against the sun and sees, of all things, an Eskimo in a fur coat driving a sled with a team of huskies across the dunes.  Thinking that it’s a hallucination, he blinks and shakes his head, but it’s for real!  He painfully lifts one arm and in a cracked voice calls, “He-elp!”

The Eskimo pulls the sled up by him, the huskies panting in the heat, and he says to the Eskimo, “I don’t know what you’re doing here, or why, but thank God you are!  I’ve been wandering around this desert for days, my water’s all gone and I’m completely lost!”

The perspiring Eskimo looks down at him and says, “You think YOU’RE lost!”

~~~

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

~~~

“What happened to you?” asked the bystander of the man lying on the sidewalk outside of the beauty parlor. The man shook his head groggily and rubbed his bruised chin.

“Last thing I remember was my wife came out of the beauty salon.  I took a look at her and said, ‘Well, Honey, at least you tried,’ and then it was lights out.”

~~~

She said: – Do Not Start With Me. You Will Not Win.

~~~

Important Warnings

On the “CycleAware” helmet-mounted mirror: “Remember: Objects in the mirror are actually behind you.”

On a large folding cardboard sunshade for car windscreens: “Do not attempt to operate vehicle with sunshade in place.”

On a car lock which loops around both the clutch pedal and the steering wheel: “Warning – Remove lock before driving.”

In the instructions for a Korean kitchen knife: “Keep out of children.”

On a packet of juggling balls: “This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA.”

On a packet of Nytol sleeping tablets: “Warning: may cause drowsiness.”

On a packet of peanuts served on an internal flight in China (written in both English and Chinese): “Open packet and eat contents.”

On 500g packets of Sainsbury’s peanuts: “Contains nuts.”

~~~

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer were being hit by cars” and he didn’t want them to cross there anymore.

~~~

You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.

Maya Angelou

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Smile

Ray’s Daily

June 19, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“A simple smile. That’s the start of opening your heart and being compassionate to others.“

Dalai Lama

smile

Today is a big day for me. A few months ago I broke off a permanent bridge that were my upper front teeth. Since we were guaranteed I was not able to get to the dentist until about a month ago. Today is the day I get a replacement. I will be able to smile again without looking like a clown. Fortunately, the required masks have hidden my toothless grin from the few who saw me.

Now if I can only get over my painful gout, I will even feel like smiling more. I do like my great family and my friendly neighbors. I am glad I can smile again. Hopefully we will be able to get to a more normal life one of these days. In the meantime smile.

Smile

A smile costs nothing, but gives much.

It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.

It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor, but that he can be made rich by it.

A Smile creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in business, and is the countersign of friendship.

It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature’s best antidote for trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone, until it is given away.

Some people are too tired to give you a smile;

Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.

Author Unknown

~~~

“A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.”

William Hazlitt

~~~

On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the underground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them.

“What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?” I joked.

“It would go out,” he replied very matter-of-factly.

“Really?” I asked, surprised to hear that. “Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?”

“No,” my co-worker continued. “The force from the explosion would blow out the match.”

~~~

“We trained hard, but it seemed every time we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing, and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.”

Petronii Arbitri Satyricon AD 66

~~~

She told me:

I Don’t Wanna

I don’t wanna do the dishes

I don’t wanna do the wash

I sprinkled clothes a week ago

And now my iron is lost!

I don’t wanna rattle pots

I don’t wanna rattle pans

I see the mail light flashin’

I wanna chat with friends!

Oh the tables need some dustin’

and the floor could sure be mopped

But I know if I get started

there’ll be no place to stop.

The closets are so full

things are falling off the shelves

I wish for cleaning fairies

and magic little elves.

They could sprinkle fairy dust

and twitch their little nose

The windows would be sparkling

I would have no dirty clothes.

Oh I know that I’m just dreamin’

My head is in the sky

I must cook that meat that’s greying

and bake that apple pie.

The Hubby needs a bath

Doggy needs attention

Oh.. the other way around I mean

my brain is in suspension.

I am runnin’ round in circles

I am gettin’ nothin’ done,

I keep thinking of my web

I am missing all the fun!

Well I know I’m not addicted

though I hear that all the time

But I guess this stuff can wait on me

Cause Today I’ll Be On Line!!!

~~~

My English professor was stopped for speeding. When asked why she was driving so fast, she quoted Robert Frost: “I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.”

“But, Miss,” replied the officer, obviously familiar with the poet, “Frost chose the road less traveled, and, unfortunately for you, this wasn’t it.”

~~~

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

~~~

“Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.”

Rashida Jones

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Oops

Ray’s Daily

June 18, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“The man who achieves makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all – doing nothing”

Benjamin Franklin

oopss

I am still working onrecovering use of my right hand as well as brain power. Hopefully soon but in the meantime here is one from years ago.

Ray’s Daily first published on June 18, 2007

I was at a meeting this morning where a football coach said that each morning he tells himself, “If I slip I know that’s not me.” I have slipped in my life often enough that he got my attention. He was not saying that he would deny the fact that he slipped nor was he excusing himself for a future misstep. Rather he was saying we all slip once in a while and do something out of character. His message to me at least was that you don’t let it get to you rather you pick yourself up and go on.

I am not saying we should ignore our missteps, most of us couldn’t anyway, I am saying we can’t let them take us down. If we bury ourselves in remorse we end up thinking the whole world is ready to indict us for what we have done when in truth the world does not sit there trying to catch us in a mistake. None of us are perfect, except maybe you. If we all let our mistakes take us down there would be few of us left to do what needs to be done.

I care for you as you are. I care for all the good things you do and I understand that sometimes things go astray. I have made some whopping big mistakes in my time and hope that they help me to avoid continuing to do the same thing over and over.

 By the way a lot of the mistakes we make are because we had the courage to make them. We could avoid ever making another one by locking ourselves in a room having someone slip a pizza under the door once in awhile. I would rather take my chances living than hide from life in fear of doing something foolish. So I’ll continue to do the best I can and I will follow the coaches advice, I’ll try to avoid making mistakes but when I do I will understand that that was not like me, at least most of the time.

~~~

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

Albert Einstein

~~~

Speaking of mistakes:

Each morning Jake would drive down Sunset Blvd. on his way to work. For the past year a pretty hooker standing on the corner of Sunset gave him the eye as he passed. Of late, she took to showing him parts of what he would get if he stopped to pick her up. Jake was a good husband and family man and didn’t want to cheat on his wife. However, lately the hooker was looking so tempting, he could not get her out of his mind.

After spending many sleepless nights, he went to consult a psychiatrist. He told the psychiatrist she was driving him crazy, he was married 45 years, and did not want to cheat on his wife.

“What should I do?” asked Jake.

The psychiatrist said: “Take Melrose Avenue.”

~~~

“Virtue” is the failure to achieve vice.

~~~

A Chicano widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife. The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.

“Honey!” he cried. “Is that you?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Are you happy?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Happier than you were with me?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Then Heaven must be an amazing place!”

“It is! Trust me, it is!”

“I do have one question for you, my snookums.”

“Yes, my love, what is it?”

“When did you learn to speak English so perfectly!?”

~~~

You’ve got to spend money to lose money.

~~~

Wife: And another thing I want to tell you. I’ve noticed every time you talk, you say my house, my automobile, my chair, my shoes; everything’s yours. You never say ours. I’m your partner. I’m your wife. It should be ours.

The husband paid no attention to his wife and just kept looking around the room for something.

Wife: What are you looking for?

Husband: Our pants!

~~~

I don’t understand the uproar over gas prices,

I just put $10 worth into my car and it didn’t cost any more than it usually does.

~~~

John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant.

Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that John was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Mary acted quite unconcerned.

Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that John had disappeared under the table.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, “Pardon me, ma’am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.”

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, “Oh, no he didn’t. In fact, my husband just walked in the front door.”

~~~

A smile is a language even a baby understands.

~~~

My English professor was stopped for speeding. When asked why she was driving so fast, she quoted Robert Frost: “I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.”

“But, Miss,” replied the officer, obviously familiar with the poet, “Frost chose the road less traveled, and, unfortunately for you, this wasn’t it.”

~~~

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.

“Have you ever seen one of these before?” one asked.

“Yeah, my mom have one,” the other replied.

“What’s it for?”

“It’s a cussing machine,” the second boy answered.

“Every time she stands on it she gets really pissed.”

~~~

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

~~~

A young man volunteered to baby-sit one night so his mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One child kept creeping down the stairs but the young man kept sending him back.

At 9pm, the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, “No”.  Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice shouted, “I’m here Mom but he won’t let me go home.”

~~~

Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.

Sophia Loren

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

You Can Be What You Want to Be

Ray’s Daily

June 17, 2020

http://rays-dail.com

“There are two ways of spreading light – to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”

Edith Wharton

friendjpg

While things are better I still have limited use of my right hand. So we will again return to yesteryear.

 Ray’s Daily first published on June 17, 2008

This morning I was talking to a friend about the surprisingly good people we have met when we least expected it. Few of us are free from stereotypical beliefs that often make us uncomfortable when we are with strangers who are not like us. As my friend and I talked we shared how fortunate we both have been in meeting people from all walks of life in our volunteer efforts and how glad we were to have found wonderful new friends. We ended our conversation agreeing that we get back what we give and that offering our friendship resulted in others becoming our friend. The following extracted from Happiness NOW by Robert Holden can open your world to more than you ever expected and if you are lucky you’ll pick up some wonderful new friends along the way.

Did anyone tell you when you were growing up, you can be what you want? Hopefully, if you were fortunate, there was at least one person in your life who encouraged you to dream, to dare and to be? The words, you can be what you want, sound so positive, hopeful and affirming. They are also a statement of truth, for they illustrate a very important principle of being. This principle is outlined in a poem of affirmation I wrote called “You Can Be What You Want!”. It reads,

 

If you would want love, be loving.

If you would want care, be caring.

You can be what you want.

 

If you would want joy, be joyful.

If you would want peace, be peaceful.

You can be what you want.

 

If you would want happiness, be happy.

If you would want kindness, be kindly.

You can be what you want.

 

If you would want forgiveness, be forgiving.

If you would want acceptance, be accepting.

You can be what you want.

 

Being is proactive. It is literally being what you want. It is also about being first, e.g. if you want honesty, be honest first; if you want loyalty, be loyal first; if you want trust, be trusting first; if you want enthusiasm, be enthusiastic first; if you want courage, be courageous first; if you want inspiration, be a Light first! Be what you want, and stick to it! Your courage will be rewarded.

~~~

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

~~~

A golfer enters a tournament and is assigned a caddie. On the first day, the golfer duffs a couple of key shots and does quite bad. He tries to act undisturbed about it and plays the second day, which is even worse.

So he plays the third day and totally messes up every shot and has a terrible game.

So on the last day of the tournament, he goes out and tries really hard, but he just did worse and worse, so at the end of the round, swearing violently and very frustrated, he shouts to his caddie, who has been quiet all week-end, and says, “You’ve got to be the worst caddie alive!!”

The caddie thinks about this, shrugs, and replies, “Nah, that’d be too much of a coincidence!”

~~~

Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.

Maurice Setter

~~~

When I managed a chemical plant, I instituted a rule that there would be no playing games on our computers. So I wouldn’t be a hypocrite, I had an information technologist get rid of the games on my laptop. Therefore I was surprised to find my grandson playing solitaire on it one weekend. I asked if he had loaded the game…

“No,” he answered, “it was already there. It was just hidden – taken off the main menu.”

On Monday I chided our information technologist for not getting rid of the game. “But,” he explained, “I thought I just had to keep it away from *you* – not from a nine-year-old!”

~~~

It seems like every time I open my eyes, it’s today.

~~~

How to check the weather.

Get a rock from somewhere, and place it somewhere like in your yard or something!

That’s all you have to do, and your ready for forecasting!!!!!

If you don’t want to use a rock, you can use a horse, works just as well!!!

If it’s dry ——Weather’s Clear

If it’s wet —–It’s Raining

If its white —It’s Snowing

If it’s gone —Tornado

~~~

Today we’re going to play the role of sane people.

~~~

Over dinner, Jill said to John, “I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning and right away, I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me, he used really bad language and he even threatened me!”

“How did you meet this fellow?” John asked, very concerned.

Jill said, “Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car.”

~~~

“Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.”

Sam Levenson

~~~

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.

After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.”

“You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “Let’s see what you got.” The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right, Get in.”

~~~

Don’t call me irrational, it drives me crazy!

~~~

Our crew at an ambulance company works 24 hour shifts. The sleeping quarters consist of a large room with several single beds, so we get to know one another’s habits, like who snores or talks in his sleep. While I was having my teeth examined by a dentist one day, he noticed that some of my teeth were chipped.

“It looks like you clench your jaw at night,” he said.

“No way,” I blurted without thinking. “No one has ever said I grind my teeth and I sleep with a lot of people!”

~~~

You have reached the pinnacle of success as soon as you become uninterested in money, compliments, or publicity.

O. A. Battist

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Still Recovering

Ray’s Daily

June 16, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

At the center of your being you have the answer;

You know who you are and you know what you want.

-Lao-tzu

sling

Sorry for no Daily lately. I have been recovering from a severe case of Gout. Still have pain and limited use of my right hand. I will try and send something for the next few days. They will be reprints.

Ray’s Daily from June 16, 2005

~~~

Someone said recently that we should try counting backwards from 10 to 1. He then asked what else we were thinking about as we did it. Of course the answer for almost everyone is nothing else. His point was that we have the ability to choose what we think about and if we get bogged down in the negatives we have the ability to shift our thinking to something positive.

This really hit home since I often spend time with those who have lost their job, lack happiness in their lives or have had faced tragedy. For many those are times when it very easy to slip into trying to find something or someone to blame, or to just give up, resigning themselves to their unhappiness. I know of nothing in life that steals more from us than blaming fate or resigning ourselves to failure. I think the problem for many of us is that we judge ourselves by the wrong measures. Below you will find a test that can be the foundation for more joy and acceptance in our lives. It was put together by the late Leo Buscaglia, one of my all time favorite guys.

~~~

Dr. Buscaglia wrote: Asking yourself questions and answering them honestly is a good path to self-knowledge. In keeping with this idea, I’d like to propose a few end-of-the-day questions for each of us…

Is anyone a little happier because I came along today?

Did I leave any concrete evidence of my kindness, any sign of my love?

Did I try to think of someone I know in a more positive light?

Did I help someone to feel joy, to laugh, or at least, to smile?

Have I attempted to remove a little of the rust that is corroding my relationships?

Have I gone through the day without fretting over what I don’t have and celebrating the things I do have?

Have I forgiven others for being less than perfect?

Have I forgiven myself?

Have I learned something new about life, living or love?

If at the end of the day we can answer with more yes answers than no answers our lives will be enriched and we will give ourselves the best chance at true satisfaction. Bottom line, measure yourself by what you are rather than by what you have.

Ray

~~~

It’s not what happens to you, It’s what you do about it.

W Mitchell

~~~

A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, an inquiry begins.

One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. “Okay Simpson,” says the investigator, “you were near the scene – what happened ?”

“Well, it’s like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up.”

“He was smoking in the mixing room ?” the investigator said in stunned horror, “How long had he been with the company?”

“About 20 years, sir”

“20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room, I’d have thought it would have been the last thing he’d have done.”

“It was, sir.”

~~~

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.

If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.

Emily Post

~~~

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked, does someone live in your shed?” and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. “Hello I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now, cause I’ve just shot them all.” Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them?”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available?”

~~~

Marriage changes passion…Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

~~~

A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon.

Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader: “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?”

Moshe replied: “I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So, I switched to the Arab newspaper.

“Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!”

~~~

“Ignorance is the mother of admiration.”

George Chapman

~~~

A Sunday school teacher said to her young class, “We have been learning for awhile now how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a much higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?”

The room was silent until one child blurted out confidently. . .”Aces!”

~~~

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

~~~

An older lady was out shopping when she notices a very expensive boutique advertising, “DRESSES AND HATS ON SALE.” She can’t resist a sale and goes inside and starts trying on dresses and hats.

After awhile, she finds only a hat that she really likes and buys it.

When she steps back outside, a fierce wind has picked up on her way down the street to the bus stop.

While she is standing there at her stop, she is quite worried that the wind might blow off her brand new hat. So she holds on to it with both hands. Not paying mind to anything else, she soon feels a tap on her shoulder and turns to see a young man there who says,

“Excuse me, ma’am, but why are you just holding your hat while your dress is blowing clear up to your elbows?”

The old woman replies,

“Son, I’ve had what’s under this dress for almost eighty-six years, but I’ve only had this hat for half an hour!”

~~~

A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice.  “What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?” she asked.

“Well…I’d have to know a little more about the child,” the psychologist hedged.

The woman took a deep breath. “He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age,” she said. “He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…”

“Oh, I see,” the psychologist said, “It’s YOUR child!”

~~~

In life you can never be too kind or too fair; everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. When you go through your day expressing kindness and courtesy to all you meet, you leave behind a feeling of warmth and good cheer, and you help alleviate the burdens everyone is struggling with.

Brian Tracy

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Bridge is Right

Ray’s Daily

June 2, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“When our eyes see our hands doing the work of our hearts, the circle of creation is completed inside us, the doors of our souls fly open, and love steps forth to heal everything in sight.”

Michael Bridge

good work

I need to send a daily from the past. I am a little worn out and like so many others I am disappointed all the turmoil that surrounds us. Being sequestered we are out of the mainstream but right now that is a good thing.

Ray’s Daily t published on June 2, 2008

When I was looking for a citation for today to use as the foundation of my report I discovered Bridge’s quotation shown above. I had intended to share with you that my week off allowed me to make some real progress. I had restructured my time to give me more freedom of action. I made a major dent in my backlog and with a little discipline I should be able to both cope with what I do and stay current with what I promise to do. I was pleased with my progress then Bridge got me thinking that there is more for me to do.

As you know it is easy to make surgical cuts in our activity and to eliminate this and that and some other stuff. What the quote helped me to again realize is that so much of what we do is an investment in the quality of our own lives. That means that I need to place more importance on the quality and meaning of what I do and less on the quantity of time required to do it. Fortunately, I have reached a time in my life where I do not feel any need to prove myself to others; rather I feel a compelling need to prove myself to myself.

Each week I spend hours with others as they search their past, inventory their present and plan their futures. Often my friends will break through the life model they have been taught or the one that has been imposed on them as they listen to their hearts and free themselves for positive action. For most that have already gone beyond the moment of awareness life has exceeded the expectations they held but a short time ago.

I am glad that I have so much more yet to see and feel as I spent too many years ignoring my heart. Money isn’t everything but living a life that has meaning to you does; it is everything!

~~~

“The little that is completed vanishes from the sight of one who looks forward to what is still to do.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.”

The next day it rained.

A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.”

The next day there was a hailstorm.

“This Indian is incredible,” said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.

However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn’t show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him.

“I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,” said the director, “and I’m depending on you. What will the weather be like?”

The Indian shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know,” he said. “Radio is broken.”

~~~

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.

Franklin P. Jones

~~~

An office technician got a call from a computer user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that her computer needed to be brought in and serviced.

He told her, “Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I’ll fix it for you.”

About ten minutes later, she showed up at his door with the electrical cord in her right hand.

~~~

Some are born to greatness, others have greatness thrust upon them. Most of us just read about it.

~~~

A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him. Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says, “Say, we’re about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole?”

The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn’t like to bet but agrees to the terms. Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes and as they’re walking off of the eighteenth hole, and while counting his $80.00, he confesses that he’s the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers.

The first fellow reveals that he’s the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to give the Priest back his money. The Priest says, “No, no. You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings.”

The pro says, “Well, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

The Priest says, “Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. Then, if you bring your mother and father by after Mass, I’ll marry them for you.”

~~~

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

C. S. Lewis

~~~

“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her roommate.

“Terrible!” the room-mate answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”

“Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What’s so bad about that?”

“He was the original owner.”

~~~

The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room. “A football player,” “A doctor,” “An astronaut,” “The president,” “A fireman,” “A teacher,” “A race car driver.”

Everyone that is, except Tommy. The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet and still. So she said to him, “Tommy, what do you want to be when you grow up?” “Possible” Tommy replied.

“Possible?” asked the teacher.

“Yes,” Tommy said. “Mom is always telling me I’m impossible.

So when I get to be big, I want to be possible.”

~~~

Doing nothing is tiring, ‘cuz you can’t take a break!

~~~

Benny had told all his friends about the delicious steak he’d eaten in the Delancey Street restaurant the day before. So they decided to go down there and see if it was really as large and delicious as he said. But much to their disappointment, the waiter brought them the tiniest steak they’d ever seen.

“See here, my good man,” Benny barked. “I was in this restaurant yesterday and you served me a big juicy steak, and now today, when I’ve organized a party, you serve such a small one.”

“Yes, sir,” replied the waiter. “But yesterday you were sitting by the window.”

~~~

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Kathleen Casey

~~~

A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose and drive a dog team instead of a car.

“If we decided to live there permanently, away from civilization, what would you miss the most?” he asked his wife.

She replied, “You.”

~~~

“I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others, but with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own efforts, and do not make success or failure the criteria by which you live, the chances are you’ll be a person worthy of your own respects.”

Neil Simon

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Tag Cloud