Ray's Daily

“You are never so strong as when you forgive.”

To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one’s responsibility as a free man.

Alan Paton

I worked over the weekend at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway with a fellow Salvation Army volunteer. She is a decade or two younger than I am yet we found we had much in common. Some of our conversation centered on the youth that will soon manage our world and our lives. We wondered if the pressures and materialism faced by many results in their being to narrowly focused to be able to deal with the broader responsibility of governing our society. Have they time for the humanities? Have they been sold on the idea that all politics is bad? Are they convinced that there is nothing anyone can do? I hope the answer is not to all of these, at least in our very best and brightest.

For some reason I started to think about how much of how we are so often distracted by so much activity around us everyday that we fail to invest in what might be a better tomorrow. Sometime ago I picked up some ideas that I think are important

• Find your own happiness. It amazes me how many of us don’t stop long enough to analyze what gives us pleasure. Too often we let others decide where we should look for happiness. I suggest that if you like to read then read. If you like to travel then travel. And if you want to see what you might be missing, get involved.
• Stray from the path once in awhile. Many of us reach the starting line in our lives and always follow the course laid out by others. Almost always you will find that it is those who stray from the beaten path who contribute the most to building a better world.
• Don’t run too fast. I pity those who run so fast that they never see anything around them. Sadly when they get to the finish line they find the race is over and their lives have ended. Everyone is a resource that should be used and not wasted, stop once in awhile and regroup for it is often the new beginning that allows us to be all we might be.
• Let go! Don’t let the past define our future. Some will say that doing it the same way we always did provides us proven results, don’t kid yourself too often this just provides us the excuse to coast with what we have. Those who stay in the past stagnate, and they become the past, as the one thing you can be sure off the world is always changing whether we do or not.

There is a lot more I could say but I won’t. The bottom line is that if our leaders of tomorrow don’t know themselves, don’t take a risk once in awhile, don’t stop to see if there is a better way, and lock them selves into the past because it is a safe harbor, then my friends I fear that my golden years will not be as bright if those who will have the power to manage society let us down.

~~~

The way people in democracies think of the government as something different from themselves is a real handicap.

Lewis Mumford

~~~

Selma telephones home with some exciting news:

"Mama, I got married." "Mazel Tov," says Mama.

"I might as well tell you, Mama, he’s not of our Faith." "So he’s a goy. But am I prejudiced?"

"But, Mama, he’s also black." "So he’s a schvartzeh. By me, everybody should be tolerant."

"Well, frankly, Mama, he’s also unemployed." "So, you’ll support him. A wife should help

her husband."

"But, Mama, we have no place to live." "Don’t worry, Selma, dear. You’ll move in with us."

"But Mama, you have only one bedroom." "That’s okay. You and your husband can have the bedroom."

"Yes, Mama, but where will you and Papa sleep?" "Papa can sleep on the couch in the living

room."

"Yes, Mama, but where will *you* sleep?"

"Selma, dear, about me you don’t need to worry. The minute I get off the phone…I’m going to drop dead."

~~~

Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you’re finished.

~~~

Nadine and Jill got summer jobs as cashiers in a grocery store.

Nadine is ringing up an order on her line and comes to a small dairy carton that isn’t scanning and has no price on it.  She yells out to Jill, "How much is half-and-half?"

Without a moment’s hesitation Jill replied, "One."

~~~

Seven out of 10 people say they are feeling the pinch of high gas prices.

The other three have bought siphoning equipment.

Jim Barach

~~~

New Office Work Rules

1. SICKNESS: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept your doctor’s statement as proof of illness, as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.  

2. LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR AN OPERATION: We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may not need all of whatever you have, and you should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed certainly makes you less than we bargained for.  

3. DEATH, OTHER THAN YOUR OWN: This is no excuse. If you can arrange for funeral services to be held late in the afternoon, however, we can let you off an hour early, provided all your work is up to date.  

4. DEATH, YOUR OWN: This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like at least two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.  

5. PERSONAL HYGIENE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the washrooms. In the future, you will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order, for instance, those with last names beginning with "A" will be allowed to go from 9:00-9:05, and so on. If you are unable to go at your appointed time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes around again.  

6. QUANTITY OF WORK: No matter how much you do, you’ll never do enough.  

7. QUALITY OF WORK: The minimum acceptable level is perfection.  

8. ADVICE FROM OWNER: Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.   

9. THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT.  

10. WHEN THE BOSS IS WRONG, REFER TO RULE 9.  

~~~

He had delusions of adequacy."

Walter Kerr

~~~

After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board following the close of the service.

The first man to arrive and greet the minister was a total stranger. "You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board members," explained the minister.

"I know," said the man, "but if there is anyone here more bored than I am, then I’d like to meet him."

~~~

Vuja De – The Feeling You’ve Never Been Here.

~~~

In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how societies ideal of beauty changes with time.  

"For example, he said, "take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five feet one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she’d do in today’s version of the contest?"  

The class fell silent for a moment. Then one student piped up, "Not very well."  

"Why is that?" Asked the professor.  

"For one thing," the student said, "She’d be way too old."  

~~~

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Aristotle

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.  Anthony J. D’Angelo

I have a friend who ever since I can remember has touted attitude as the secret to a happy and productive life. He even hands out lapel pins that say ATTITUDE. I have learned over the years that my friend is right on target. We lay the foundation for the day we will have each morning depending on our attitude. I honestly believe that if we expect the worst, the worst will happen, or at least we will convince ourselves that it has. It is when we go forth with a positive attitude that our day has the best chance of being all we want it to. That does not mean that we won’t be challenged, we will be, but it does mean that we see challenge as just another part of life, something to be faced, overcome, and left behind.

I think the right attitude is even more; it is the frame around the picture in which we live. A meadow filled with flowers is also a field without a road. We can either bask in the beauty of the field or bemoan the fact that there is no path. It is those who see the flowers who fulfill the promise that the phrase “Stop and smell the roses” holds out for each of us. They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, it is but you won’t see it if you don’t open your eyes and let it in.

Here is what Charles Swindoll said about the subject and I think what he says is worth our remembering each day.

"The longer I live the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is to play on the one string we have and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes."

~~~

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.

Chinese Proverb

~~~

Facts of Life

* Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.  

* There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.  

* Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.  

* Don’t worry about the world ending today…It’s already tomorrow in Australia (unless you’re in Australia -then start worrying).

* Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.  

* Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.  

* A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.  

* Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.  

* There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.  

* If at first you don’t succeed … well, so much for sky diving.  

* A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t understand two things: 1 – Women, 2 – Fractions  

~~~

The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it.

Helen Keller

~~~

The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.  Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.  

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.  

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.  

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.  

I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.  

~~~

Aggravated wife to husband who’s hiding behind the newspaper:

"You can stop saying, ‘Uh-huh.’  I stopped talking an hour ago."

~~~

Anyone who’s ever been to a "teaching hospital" knows to expect a group of students to descend upon them at any time. At one such hospital, in the recovery room, a bunch of students gathered around a beautiful blonde who, even in a gown, was obviously very well endowed.  

Recovery is an excellent place for student doctors to become familiar with variations in heartbeats while the body comes back to normal from the operation and the anesthesia.  

The first student approached the patient calmly and proceeded to listen intently to her heartbeat through the stethoscope.

The group was silent as he did so. The woman hesitated, then looked sympathetically into the eyes of the doctor-to-be. Reaching up, she gently placed the earpieces into his ears.  

~~~

Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do.

~~~

Obtainable Affirmations

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.  

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.  

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.  

4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.  

5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.  

6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.  

7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.  

8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.  

9. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.  

10. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.  

~~~

Goodness is a special kind of truth and beauty.

It is truth and beauty in human behavior.

H.A. Overstreet

~~~

It doesn’t make sense. You’re flying at 500 m.p.h., 30,000 feet in the air, and the pilot tells you to feel free to roam around the plane. But when you’re on the ground taxiing to the gate at 1 m.p.h., he tells you to remain seated for your own safety.

~~~

Jill:  I had to take the bus the other day, and a gentleman asked his young son to give up his seat "for the lady" – ME!

Mary:  Well, that was just common courtesy, right?

Jill:  I don’t know.  The boy was sitting on his father’s lap!

~~~

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Elayne Boosler

~~~

In a software design meeting, we were using typical technical jargon to discuss a data exchange interface with a vendor. One co-worker said the programming we had ordered was delayed because the vendor was suffering from a "severe nonlinear waterfowl issue." Curious, the team leader raised his eyebrows and asked, "What exactly is that?"

The programmer replied, "They don’t have all their ducks in a row."

~~~

I have found that if you love life,

Life will love you back.

Arthur Rubinstein

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift.

Margaret Lee Runbeck

I have been thinking about how we use the phrase “I am sorry”. Sometimes we use it at the end of an argument to admit we were wrong — capitulation. Some time we use it to solicit sympathy for something we have done — contrition. And other times we are overpowered and say “I am sorry” — submission. In all of these often the phrase is used after a painful exercise and it is often offered with great animosity. Too many of us, like some political leaders, just can never admit we were wrong and never feel the need to apologize under any circumstances.

I would like to suggest that saying “I am sorry’” can be a positive expression of concern — compassion. I don’t have to be proven wrong to tell you “I am sorry” that you are distressed and that it is not necessary to dwell on the reason whatever is creating pain. I can tell you “I am sorry” that you are hurting and ask you to let me help if I can — empathy.

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing; it allows us to leave our anger behind and to move on. But forgiveness is something we need to offer ourselves as well. There are many things in my life that I am sorry I did, sometimes I was embarrassed, sometimes I was remorseful, and often I found it too easy to wallow in self-pity. You know when the chips are down we often find that nobody really is looking to make us look bad and hiding in our room with a pillow over our head just lets our imagination make things worse. By forgiving ourselves we can move on, learn from the experience, and do better next time.

So my friends at least in my mind you never have to tell me that you are sorry for something you may have done for I appreciate you for who you are. I honestly believe that those of us who are never perfect have no right to hold anyone to a higher standard than we hold ourselves.

~~~

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.

That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.

Emily Kimbrough

~~~

CUSTOMER’S GUIDE TO SUPERMARKET SHOPPING

1. When in the express lane, make sure that all items are rung up and bagged before you start looking for your checkbook. Then, after you make a futile search for your pen, borrow one from the clerk and make sure your checkbook is balanced before giving up the check.  

2. Never get into the 10-Items-or-Less line with less than 12 items. IT’S THE LAW!!!  

3. When in the 10-Items-or-Less line and you have your 12 to 20 items, always ask the clerk if it’s okay. That way, if he says "yes," then the people behind you will get mad at HIM, not you. If he says "no," then YOU can get mad at him. Either way, you win!  

4. Save all your pennies and dump them in the bottom of your purse so that when you are in the express lane you won’t be embarrassed by spending all that time looking for one and not finding any.  

5. When asked if you want paper or plastic, take all the time you need to make the right decision. Don’t be rushed. Get it right. If you’re not sure just say, "BAG." That way they will have to ask you again, giving you more time to decide. You may want to practice this at home in case you are ever asked this question at a grocery store.  

6. Always, and I repeat, ALWAYS tell the checker your reason for choosing paper or plastic. Checkers by nature are very curious and if you should fail to give them your reason for choosing paper over plastic, the clerk is liable to lie awake at night wondering why you didn’t choose plastic.  

7. Always keep this in mind: If something is heavy and you don’t want to lift it out of the basket and put it on the belt. Don’t fret whether the checker will automatically know the price. After all, everyone knows how smart those clerks are.  

8. Since everyone knows how ignorant those clerks are, you must always remember to tell them to not put the eggs and bread in the bottom of the bag.  

9. Feel free to ask your clerk anything you may want to know. All checkers are experts on how to prepare whatever meal you should decide to make that night. They can give you precise directions to anywhere in the state you might want to go. They can tell you the best restaurant around, the kind of wine you will like best or anything else you may need to know about life.  

10. Don’t forget rule NO. 8  

11. After waiting in the checkout line for several minutes and it’s finally your turn at the counter, be sure to tell the clerk that more help is needed. He will certainly ensure that there is plenty of help next time.  

12. When the clerk greets you and asks how you’re doing, don’t feel pressured into answering him. After all the clerk has to be polite– but you don’t have to.  

13. When the store is not busy and there is only one check stand with a light on, be sure to ask the nearest clerk which check stand is open. You don’t want to take a chance being tricked into the wrong one.  

14. If the clerk asks you if you know the price of an item and you don’t, tell him it’s "2-something" or "3-something." The clerks love that because they don’t get to use their SOMETHING keys very often.  

~~~

Sign in a veterinarian’s waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

~~~

She said: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If, however, it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never appears to have noticed that you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it!

~~~

"There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure."

Jack E. Leonard

~~~

Teacher asks the kids in spelling class to tell what their father does for a living, and spell it. First kid says, "My daddy’s a baker. That’s b-a-k-e-r. He makes bread and lots of sweet goodies to eat."

Second kid says, "My daddy’s a banker. That’s b-a-n-k-e-r. He makes lots of money, buys us lots of toys."

Next kid says, "My daddy’s an electrician. That’s e-l-a-k…uh, e-l-e-x…uh…."

Teacher interrupts, saying, "That’s okay, Rayford. Think about it and we’ll come back to you." Turning to Little Johnny, she says, "You’re next, Johnny."

Little Johnny says, "My daddy’s a bookie. That’s b-o-o-k-i-e, and I’ll lay you odds ten to one Rayford don’t ever spell electrician."

~~~

Always carry two bags of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these bags."

Jack Handey

~~~

During the banquet celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" an anonymous voice yelled from the back of the room.  

Tom responded, "Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self restraint, meekness, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t need if you stayed single."  

~~~

Difficult times have helped me understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.

Iask Dinesen

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.

François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Sorry for being late, the day got away from me, between a morning and a noon meeting and hours installing new security software the clock skipped 2, 3, and 4 PM and went straight to 5. Rather than wait any longer I am sending a favorite from the past.

~~~

I like many others have been distressed by those things that are happening around us. War, rising prices, medical costs, terrorism, governmental fiscal mismanagement, political polarization and partisanship, are all burdens we share. What is even more bothersome is the fact that these are legacies we will leave for our children and our grandchildren. It will be even worse if we let it get to us and we become part of the problem. My friend Jen offers the following advice to treat ourselves.

Stop Criticizing Yourself – Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

Don’t Scare Yourself – Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasurable thought.

Be Gentle And Kind And Patient – Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

Be Kind To Your Mind – Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

Praise Yourself – Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

Support Yourself – Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

Be Loving To Your Negatives – Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now, you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So, lovingly release the old negative patterns.

Take Care Of Your Body – Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

Mirror Work – Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: "I love you, I really love you."

Love Yourself .. Do It Now – Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now — and do the best you can.

~~~

"If you cannot find peace within yourself,

you will never find it anywhere else."

~~  Marvin Gaye  ~~

~~~

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

~~~

~~~

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

Woody Allen

~~~

~~~

Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court. The judge asked, "Phil, is it true that the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?"

Phil replies, "Yes Judge, that is correct."

"And how do you explain this unusual conduct?" the judge inquires.

Phil replies, "I didn’t want to interrupt her, Your Honor.  Momma always said that’s impolite!"

~~~

A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.

The Wizard to the Tin Man

~~~

You may have heard the old joke about Shirley, the Jewish mother in NYC, who brought her 6 year old boy to the psychoanalyst, who diagnosed: "Nothing much wrong with your son, just a slight Oedipus complex.

Said Shirley the mom… "Oedipus, schmedipus, the important thing is that he loves his mother"

~~~

If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.

Phyllis Diller

~~~

"The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk,

but those who live their lives like the stars of the sky and ‘the lilies of the field’ — simply and unaffectedly. 

Those are the lives that mold and shape us."

Oswald Chambers

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.

Stacia Tauscher

~~~

“The few wonders of the world only exist while there are those with the sight to see them.”

Charles de Lint

~~~

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? And….What the word team means?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?"

Once again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach a "dumb ass" is it?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother."

~~~

Before resolving to jog five miles a day, visit a cardiologist to have your heart examined, a podiatrist to have your feet examined and a psychiatrist to have your head examined.

~~~

The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. "I just got some news, Mom," he said. "The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?"

"What do I think?" his mother said. "Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could stand another one of these Canadian winters!"

~~~

To be able to look back upon one’s past life with satisfaction is to live twice.

Marcus Valerius Martial

~~~

She said: Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day.

I followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for our individual plates.

We felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful. We never even felt hungry!

But when we realized we were gaining weight and not losing it, I checked the recipes again.

There in fine print, it said, "Serves 6."

~~~

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music.

William Stafford

~~~

A New Yorker taking a drive in the country happened upon a farmer feeding his pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig in his arms, hold it up to the branches of a tree and wait while the animal ate an apple. He would then move the pig from one apple to another until it was satisfied.

The city man watched this procedure for some time, then finally said to the farmer, "This seems an inefficient way of feeding your pigs. Why don’t you simply shake the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground? That would sure save a lot of time."

The farmer looked puzzled, then shrugged and replied, "What’s time to a pig?"

~~~

“That’s what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside you that makes you want to believe that there still exists a right and wrong, that decency will somehow triumph in the end”

Lise Hand

~~~

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?"

Shouting back, the woman replies, "For crying out loud, I’ve been telling you for the last half hour that I’ll be ready in a minute!

~~~

"Normal" is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.

Wanna be normal??

~~~

I’m addicted to placebos. I’d give them up, but it wouldn’ make any difference.

Steven Wright

~~~

Jack hadn’t been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying,

"You look like Helen Brown."

"Well," the woman snapped back, "you don’t look so great in blue either!"

~~~

O innocence, how glorious and happy a portion art thou to the breast that possesses thee! thou fearest neither the eyes nor the tongues of men. Truth, the most powerful of all things, is thy strongest friend; and the brighter the light is in which thou art displayed, the more it discovers thy transcendent beauties.

Henry Fielding

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.