Ray's musings and humor

Archive for May, 2013

Let it go and move on

Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.

Daphne Rose Kingma

 let-go

One of the great lessons that come with age is understanding that you cannot change what has already happened and understanding that much of the time you cannot change what is. I really feel empathy for so many of the people I visit with who let their misery linger not understanding that if they let it go they could move on to things that would make them happier. There is a lot to be said for realizing that everyday provides us with a new start and that there is little value in letting the past drag us down.

Not long ago I got this story from Mark and Angel Chernoff that I think is worth reading as it does help us understand the value of letting go.

 

The Weight of the Glass

Once upon a time a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students.  As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical “glass half empty or glass half full” question.  Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds.

She replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter.  It all depends on how long I hold it.  If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light.  If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little.  If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor.  In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”

As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, “Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water.  Think about them for a while and nothing happens.  Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little.  Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”

The moral:  It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses and worries.  No matter what happens during the day, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.  Don’t carry them through the night and into the next day with you.  If you still feel the weight of yesterday’s stress, it’s a strong sign that it’s time to put the glass down.

~~~

Letting go helps us to to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.

Melody Beattie

~~~

The controller was working a busy pattern and told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, “Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane? Without missing a beat the control tower replied, “Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!”

~~~

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

~~~

“The airlines are facing strike threats from a number of key unions, including the Brotherhood of Luggage Misplacers; the Airline Seat Shrinkers Guild; and the International Association of Workers Who Make Sure That No Coach Passenger’s Inflight Snack Packet Contains More Than Four Pretzels.”

Dave Barry

~~~

“The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.”

Roseanne

~~~

A young man who was an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried, and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man.

Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him. To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn’t hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn’t waste much time.

Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball – directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old man finally said, “You know, when I was your age I’d hit the ball right over that tree.”

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man leaned back on his golf bag and said, “Of course, when I was your age, that pine tree was only 3 feet tall.”

~~~

I stayed in a really old hotel last night.  They sent me a wake-up letter.

~~~

When I arrived for my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty.

“For example, she’ll do the wrong page in the workbook,” the teacher explained, “and I’ve even found her sitting in the wrong desk.”

“I don’t understand that,” I replied defensively. “Where could she have gotten that?”

The teacher went on to reassure me that my daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likeable. Finally, after a pause, she added, “By the way, Mrs. Johnson, our appointment was for tomorrow.”

~~~

“I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.”

Steven Wright

~~~

A blonde was shopping at K-Mart and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it over to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, “Why, that’s a thermos….it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”

“Wow,” said the blonde, “that’s amazing….I’m going to buy it!”

So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss, who was also blonde, saw it on her desk. “What’s that?” she asked.

“Why, that’s a thermos… it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,” she replied.

“Wow, that’s amazing,” said the boss, “what do you have in it?”

“Two popsicles and some coffee.”

~~~

One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.

Michael Cibenko

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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Thank you Benny, I still love your music

“Too many young musicians today want to win polls before they learn their instruments.”

Benny Goodman

 BennyGoodman

Hi, sorry I can’t stop now I am off to a meeting. Just so you will have something to read while doing what ever you do when you read I am sending you this dog-eared Daily from years ago.

Ray’s Daily first published on May 30, 2002

It’s the birthday of one of my all-time favorite musicians, Benny Goodman. He was known as the “King of Swing,” born in Chicago in 1909, the eighth of twelve children of an immigrant tailor. When he was ten years old, the local synagogue offered him music lessons and a free loaner clarinet to practice on. At the age of 16, he joined Ben Pollack’s band along with Glenn Miller, Jack Teagarden, and Jimmy McPartland. He had a reputation of being not the most likeable guy in the world, but he sure could play. His Carnegie Hall Concert in, I think 1938 is still a mind blower. The music of today is not my cup of tea, but I remember the days when Jazz and R&B were not appreciated by the seniors of those days, maybe we tend to live in our pasts.

~~~

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.

~~~

This is my week for the Doc’s, yesterday I went to get a clean bill of health from my family physician, after all, my shipboard infection was gone, wrong! Back Friday for more blood work. Stock tip of the day – buy medical.

~~~

I’m Fine – How are you?

 

There’s nothing the matter with me,

I’m just as healthy as can be,

I have arthritis in both knees,

And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.

 

My pulse is weak, my blood is thin,

But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.

 

All my teeth have had to come out,

And my diet I hate to think about.

I’m overweight and I can’t get thin,

But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.

 

And arch supports I need for my feet.

Or I wouldn’t be able to go out in the street.

Sleep is denied me night after night,

But every morning I find I’m all right.

My memory’s failing, my head’s in a spin.

But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.

 

Old age is golden I’ve heard it said,

But sometimes I wonder, as I go to bed.

With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup,

And my glasses on a shelf, until I get up.

And when sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself,

Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?

 

The reason I know my Youth has been spent,

Is my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went!

But really I don’t mind, when I think with a grin,

Of all the places my get-up has been.

 

I get up each morning and dust off my wits,

Pick up the paper and read the obits.

If my name is missing, I’m therefore not dead,

So I eat a good breakfast and jump back into bed.

 

The moral of this as the tale unfolds,

Is that for you and me, who are growing old.

It is better to say “I’m fine” with a grin,

Than to let people know the shape we are in.

 

Is this really what we have to look forward to?

~~~

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. “Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained. “He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I’m listening.”

~~~

“There is only one pretty child in the world, And every mother has it.”

Traditional Proverb

~~~

Doug goes to a doctor and says: “Doctor, my wife recently has lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back?”

The doctor replies, “Try coming home at 3 in the morning!”

~~~

A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location.

“It’s only a stone’s throw away from the beach,” he was told.

“But how will I recognize it?” asked the man.

The reply was, “It’s the one with all the broken windows.”

~~~

My #1 goal is to always speak well of others.

My #2 goal is to make sure I don’t end up like the rest of those losers.

~~~

During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. “Your jeep stuck, sir?” asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside

“Nope,” replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, “Yours is.”

~~~

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

~~~

A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn’t gotten the license number.

“What kind of car was he driving?” the husband asked.

“I don’t know,” she said.  “I never can tell one car from another.”

At that, the man decided the time had come for a learning course, and so for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make.

It worked.  About a week later she bounded in with a pleased expression on her face. “Darling,” she said with obvious pride, “I just hit a brand new Buick!”

~~~

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labour for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

Rita Rudner-

~~~

“Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl – and one night, an owl called back to him.  For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth.  He even kept a log of the “conversation.”  Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor.

“My husband spends his nights … calling out to owls,” she said.

“That’s odd,” the neighbor replied.  “So does my husband.”

Then it dawned on them.

~~~

“It is time to start living the life you’ve imagined.”

Henry James

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

They make a difference

Your greatest power is to be… More loving, more courageous, more joyous, more friendly, more sensitive, more aware, more forgiving, more tolerant, more humble, more patient, more helpful. In essence, the power to be a better human being.

Ritu Ghatourey

humility-copy

I was with some community leaders the other day who were disappointed that there were not more of our community’s top leaders volunteering. I suggested that we should focus on the non-leaders when we look for good people. Some of the smartest people with the kindest hearts and willing hands are too often overlooked.

For me I have had more pleasant and positive experiences with those who are overlooked then many of the well-known and many because they are humble and don’t like to bask in the spotlight. I have learned there is a lot to be said for “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” I think it is also true that there is much beauty to see if you just look.

I just love the people I meet while volunteering, working with the Salvation Army and our cities leading senior organization. I have found that the world is full of potential friends but we must be ready to acquire them. So my friends please don’t overlook the humble for that is where some of the best of the best are found.

Here is a piece by Ralph Marston that I really like, I hope you will also.

 

Genuine humility

When you can get free from the demands of your ego, you also free yourself from most of your self-imposed limitations. In practicing genuine humility, you will find enormous power.

Get beyond the desire to control others, and you vastly improve your ability to control your own actions. Let go of the need to be right, and you open yourself to experience new truth.

Get free of the need to blame, and your own sense of responsibility grows stronger. Stop seeking to place judgments on others, and you’re free to powerfully improve your own actions.

Give up the thought that you’re better than everyone else, and a whole new world of opportunity opens up to you. Stop seeking unfair advantage, and you’re free to develop an unstoppable effectiveness.

Quit demanding the most and start expecting the best. You’ll experience a level of true abundance that you never before could have imagined.

Live each moment with humility, love, respect and gratitude for the whole of life that surrounds you. And you will find a treasure that has no end.

~~~

 

Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts.  It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all.

William Temple

~~~

FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES

Kids statements that are a little … off track:

* God bless America Thru the night with a light from a bulb!

* 0 Susanna, 0 don’t you cry for me, For I come from Alabama with a band-aid on my knee!

* Give us this day our deli bread! Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Whole East Coast.

* We shall come to Joyce’s, bringing in the cheese.

* Gladly, the consecrated, cross-eyed bear.

* He carrots for you.

* Yield Not to Penn Station.

* Dust Around the Throne.

* Praise God From whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures, HERE WE GO

* Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.

* While shepherds washed their socks by night

* He socked me and boxed me with His redeeming glove.

~~~

A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won’t trust him to wash it.

~~~

YOU KNOW YOU’RE OVER THE HILL WHEN…

You’re sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

You keep repeating yourself.

Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar…a month at a time.

At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.

Conversations with people your own age often turn into “dueling ailments.”

You keep repeating yourself.

It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.

You look both ways before crossing a room.

You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.

You find your mouth making promises your body can’t keep.

You start beating everyone else at trivia games.

You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.

Your back goes out more than you do.

You keep repeating yourself.

Cafeteria food starts tasting GOOD.

You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.

~~~

Many of us are at the “metallic age” – gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants.

~~~

A rancher needs a bull to service his cows but needs to borrow the money from the bank. The banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won’t even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.

The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks very pleased.

“The bull has serviced all my cows, broke through the fence, and has serviced all my neighbor’s cows.”

“Wow,” says the banker, “what did the vet do to that bull?”

“Just gave him some pills,” replied the farmer.

“What kind of pills?” asked the banker.

“I don’t know,” says the farmer, “but they sort of taste like peppermint.”

~~~

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Summers here, a great time for self improvement

Follow your dreams, believe in yourself and don’t give up.

Rachel Corrie

Believe-in-Yourself_

Our annual Memorial Day in the US is now behind us and it traditionally marks the unofficial beginning of summer which in the view of many will end when we celebrate Labor Day in September. In theory it means more leisure time and less responsibility, in practice I have never found it to be like that. In fact my most productive time has often been in the summer when I have more time to invest in becoming the person I would like to be. I don’t know about you but I always seem to have things I have to put on the back burner because of other duties and demands. I have found that getting to something worthwhile that has been lingering is as rewarding as reading the traditional summer novel or in frivolous pursuit. So it is not that I will find more hours in the day but rather folks won’t fill as many of the available hours so I will be free to do what I please.

The people who I have sympathy for are those who have given up on themselves and view the summer doldrums as a place to hide from what they believe is their inadequacies. It pains me when I see people who really are so much better than they think they are but have talked themselves into believing that they have little to offer.

I know you are not one of those folks but you probably know someone who is. If you do you might want to share this piece of advice that has been floating around for a few years.

 

Believe in Yourself

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be. That’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.

There are times when people disappoint you and let you down. But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them. Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be. Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself!

~~~

“Today, many will rise above their believed limitations and make contact with their powerful innate strength. Why not you?”

Steve Maraboli

~~~

Flying can be interesting; here are some flight announcements from the past.

  ·       In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.

·       Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”

·       “Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

~~~

“You know that old saying, ‘Strike while the iron is hot?’ Well, I think that’s a pretty dumb saying, ’cause I’ll betcha a cold iron will hurt like hell, too.”

Charlie Acord

~~~

She told me:

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE “ESTROGEN ISSUES”

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: “How’s my driving-call 1-800-***-.”

6. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting-practice.

7. You’re convinced there’s a God and he’s male.

8. You can’t believe they don’t make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.

9. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

~~~

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”

Jack Lemmon

~~~

A lady leaves Montreal on route 20 heading toward Quebec city, when she decided to stop at a comfort station. The first toilet stall was occupied, so she went into the second one. She was no sooner seated than she heard a voice from the next stall:

“Hi, how are you doing?”

Well, she wasn’t the type to chat with strangers in highway comfort stations, and she really don’t know quite what possessed her, but anyway, she answered, a little embarrassed: “Not bad.”

The stranger said: “And, what are you up to?”

Talk about your dumb questions! She was really beginning to think this was too weird! So she said: “Well, just like you I am driving east?”

About then she heard the stranger, all upset, say: “Look, I’ll call ya right back, there’s some idiot in the next stall answering all the questions I’m asking you. Bye!”

~~~

“The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.”

Marty Feldman

~~~

Coming out of church, Mrs. Peterson asked her husband, “Do you think that Johnson girl is tinting her hair?”

“I didn’t even see her,” admitted Mr. Peterson.

“And that dress Mrs. Hansen was wearing,” continued Mrs. Peterson, “Really, don’t tell me you think that’s the proper costume for a mother of two.”

“I’m afraid I didn’t notice that either,” said Mr. Peterson.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” snapped Mrs. Peterson.  “A lot of good it does you to go to church.”

~~~

Only as high as I reach can I grow,

Only as far as I seek can I go,

Only as deep as I look can I see,

Only as much as I dream can I be.

Karen Ravn

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Please stop for a moment and remember

The brave die never, though they sleep in dust:

Their courage nerves a thousand living men.

Minot J. Savage

memorial-day01

It is a national holiday in my country today and I am taking the day off. But since we have readers now in many other countries I have decided to send you a piece I published on this day in 2006.

~~~

Today is a holiday in the United States, it is our memorial day, a day when many of us stop to remember those have given their lives in battle. For me it is also a time to mourn those who gave us so much of themselves to make a better world and are no longer with us.

I mourn the loss of the unsung heroes, those who died for a worthy cause, those who died protecting our safety, and those who died serving others. We may never know their names but we need to remember that it was these heroes of the past that built the life we have today.

I mourn the loss of Albert Switzer as he inspired so many of my generation to serve others.

I mourn the loss of Mother Theresa as she taught us the value of humility and how kindness can brighten the life of all we touch.

I mourn the loss of Anne Frank who taught us that humanity lives within our hearts and not in the imposed oppression that can be used to imprison our bodies.

I mourn the loss of Helen Keller who showed us that with a good heart and dedication there are few barriers that cannot be overcome.

I mourn the loss of so many that gave me the gift of their wisdom and their friendship, to a large extent it was they who made me what I am today, at least that which is good, the not so good I did on my own.

I miss those who I no longer see, those that held my hand during the bad times and shared my joy during the good times. And I give thanks that so many of you continue to enrich my life.

While I mourn the fact that so many are no longer with us, I celebrate the gifts they gave us.

Ray

~~~

We who are left how shall we look again

Happily on the sun or feel the rain

Without remembering how they who went

Ungrudgingly and spent

Their lives for us loved, too, the sun and rain?

Wilfred Wilson Gibson

~~~

Be careful, many of these laws are still on the books

1-When visiting Louisiana, remember that it is illegal to gargle in public…you can do just about anything else in public, but NO gargling!

2-And be careful that you do not get caught shaving while driving in Massachusetts or you’ll be in real trouble.

3-If you’re going to be driving through Utah, be alert because the birds have the right of way on the state highways.

4-And walking down the streets of Maine with your shoes strings untied is

also illegal.

5-Oh, and in Atlanta, not only is it illegal to tie your giraffe to a telephone pole but if you get caught dressing a mannequin without shutting the window shades, you could be in big trouble.

6-When in Nebraska, keep in mind not to spit against wind because not only is it messy, its also illegal.

7-Eating out in Connecticut became so much more pleasant once the law requiring restaurateurs to provide separate nose-blowing and non-nose-blowing sections, went into effect.

8-And if you decide to order cherry pie while eating in Kansas, don’t waste your time asking it to be served with a scoop of ice-cream on top…it against the law.

9-In California, it’s against the law to peel an orange in your hotel room….I guess its ok to peel it in the hallway & then go into your room.

10-If you’re planning to do any fishing while visiting Chicago, be sure you don’t do it in your pajamas or you might spend the rest of your vacation in jail.

11-And if you’re going to set a fire under your mule, don’t do it in Ohio..yep, its against the law. Can you believe it?

12-Whistling under water will result in more than getting water in your nose, it will also get you put in jail if you do it in Vermont.

13-And while you and your beloved spouse are enjoying the Florida sun, don’t throw dishes if you happen to have a little disagreement with each other. If you break more than 3 a day, you could spend the rest of your vacation eating off of metal trays in the county jail.

We’re not the only ones with the wacky laws. If you’re planning a trip out of the country be aware that….

14-It is illegal to land a flying saucer in the vineyards of France.

15-And last but not least, if you take ill while in Iceland, never seek medical help from anyone who’s shingle reads: “Scottulaejnir”. You see, ANYONE, can practice medicine in Iceland as long as they display this sign. Loosely translated it means, “Quack Doctor”

~~~

“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.”

Jules Renard

~~~

I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames began pouring from under my hood. Frantic, I bolted into the store and ran up to the first clerk I saw. As luck would have it, he was standing behind the customer service counter.

“Please help,” I gasped. “My car’s on fire! I need a fire extinguisher!”

Without even looking up, he replied, “Aisle 12.”

~~~

The airline was so cheap that instead of a movie, they put on a high school play.

~~~

She said: I’m writing you to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with a serious condition and there’s little hope of getting over it. The scientific world is frantically searching for a cure. This is an ailment others also suffer from and may be undiagnosed. It’s called “Butfirst Syndrome.” It’s like when I decide to do the laundry – I start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. Okay, I’m going to do the laundry – Butfirst I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. Okay, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack, – Butfirst, I’ll look through that pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Now where’s the checkbook? Oops!

There’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook, – Butfirst I need to put the glass in the sink.

I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water. I put the glass in the sink, and darn it, there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away, – Butfirst I need to water those plants. Head for door and Ack! Stepped on the dog, who needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put that remote away and water the plants. – Butfirst I need to feed the dog. At the end of day; Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are unpaid, checkbook is still missing, and the dog ate the remote control. AND, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done all day, I’m baffled, because I KNOW I was BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious…and I should get help. Butfirst I think I’ll read all my email!

~~~

“The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.”

Martin Mull

~~~

A New York family bought a ranch out west where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name.

“Well,” said the would-be-cattleman. I wanted to call it the Bar-J, my wife favored the Suzy-Q, one son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we’re calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y.”

“But, where are all your cattle?”

“So far, none have survived the branding.”

~~~

Our cheer goes back to them, the valiant dead!

Laurels and roses on their graves to-day,

Lilies and laurels over them we lay,

And violets o’er each unforgotten head.

Richard Hovey

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Life seemed simpler then

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

Doug Larson

1940s-street-scene

I am not one of those who think that there is not a lot in today’s world that is better than it was years ago. For example I would not be visiting with you each day if not for the internet. In many ways I have benefited from better health care, a vibrant city and the opportunity for extensive travel. It is quite a contrast to what the world was like in my youth and yet I still long for some of what we had. We saw each other more, families stayed together, neighbors were friends and maybe best of all we generally shared the same experiences. Most of you are younger than I am, in fact probably much younger so if you don’t mind I am going to give you peak back at the world I grew up in courtesy of this poem sent me years ago by a friend.

 

I remember when

A little house with three bedrooms and one car on the street,

A mower that you had to push to make the grass look neat.

In the kitchen on the wall we only had one phone,

And no need for recording things, someone was always home.

We only had a living room where we would congregate,

Unless it was at mealtime then in the kitchen where we ate.

We had no need for family rooms or extra rooms to dine,

When meeting as a family those two rooms would work out fine.

We only had one TV set, and channels maybe two,

But always there was one of them with something worth the view.

For snacks we had potato chips that tasted like a chip,

And if you wanted flavor there was Lipton’s® onion dip.

Store-bought snacks were rare because my mother liked to cook,

And nothing can compare to snacks in Betty Crocker’s® book.

The snacks were even healthy with the best ingredients,

No labels with a hundred things that make not a bit of sense.

Weekends were for family trips or staying home to play,

We all did things together — even go to church to pray.

When we did our weekend trips depending on the weather,

No one stayed at home because we liked to be together.

Sometimes we would separate to do things on our own,

But we knew where the others were without our own cell phone.

Then there were the movies with your favorite movie star,

And nothing can compare to watching movies in your car.

Then there were the picnics at the peak of summer season,

Pack a lunch and find some trees and never need a reason.

Get a baseball game together with all the friends you know,

Have real action playing ball — and no game video.

Remember when the doctor used to be the family friend,

And didn’t need insurance or a lawyer to defend?

The way that he took care of you or what he had to do,

Because he took an oath and strived to do the best for you.

Remember going to the store and shopping casually,

And when you went to pay for it you used your own money?

Nothing that you had to swipe or punch in some amount,

Remember when the cashier person had to really count?

Remember when we breathed the air; it smelled so fresh and clean,

And chemicals were not used on the grass to keep it green.

The milkman and the bread man used to go from door to door,

And it was just a few cents more than going to the store.

There was a time when mailed letters came right to your door,

Without a lot of junk mail ads sent out by every store.

The mailman knew each house by name and knew where it was sent;

There were not loads of mail addressed to “present occupant.”

Remember when the words “I do” meant that you really did,

And not just temporarily ’til someone blows their lid.

T’was no such thing as “no one’s fault; we just made a mistake,”

There was a time when married life was built on give and take.

There was a time when just one glance was all that it would take,

And you would know the kind of car, the model and the make.

They didn’t look like turtles trying to squeeze out every mile;

They were streamlined, white walls fins, and really had some style.

One time the music that you played whenever you would jive,

Was from a vinyl, big-holed record called a forty-five.

The record player had a post to keep them all in line,

And then the records would drop down and play one at a time.

Oh sure, we had our problems then, just like we do today,

And always we were striving, trying for a better way.

And every year that passed us by brought new and greater things,

We now can even program phones with music or with rings.

Oh, the simple life we lived still seems like so much fun,

How can you explain a game, just kick the can and run?

And why would boys put baseball cards between bicycle spokes,

And for a nickel red machines had little bottled Cokes?

This life seemed so much easier and slower in some ways,

I love the new technology but I sure miss those days.

So time moves on and so do we, and nothing stays the same,

But I sure love to reminisce and walk down memory lane.

~~~

“Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you’re going to miss in the years ahead.”

~~~

At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Mr. Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day’s lesson.  It was now time for the usual question period. “Mr. Goldblatt,” announced little Joey, “there’s somethin’ I can’t figger out.”

“What’s that Joey?” asked Goldblatt.

“Well accordin’ to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?”

“Right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?”

“Er–right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?”

“Again you’re right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel fought the ‘gyptians, an’ the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an’ the Children of Israel wuz always doin’ somethin’ important, right?”

“All that is right, too,” agreed Goldblatt, “So, what’s your question?”

“What I wanna know is this,” demanded Joey,

“What wuz all the grown-ups doin'”?

~~~

I am meandering to a different drummer.

~~~

A man’s car was stalled in the middle of a busy street, and the woman behind him honked continuously as he tried to restart it.  Finally, the man got out and walked to the woman’s car.

“I can’t seem to get my car started,” the man said, smiling.  “If you’ll go and start it for me, I’ll stay here and lean on your horn.”

~~~

I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

~~~

My exercise tips:

Exercise early in the morning before your brain figures out what you are doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

If you are going to try cross country skiing, start with a small country.

~~~

A father was reading his paper one day when his son came in and said, “Dad, will you take me to the zoo tomorrow?”

“No,” said his father, “If they want you, they can come and get you.”

~~~

The best part is still ahead of me – I haven’t experienced my ‘good old days’ yet.

Luther Vandross

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

It is all up to you

“If it is to be, it is up to me.”

William H. Johnsen

 i-can-do-it

As a quick side note I want to share a message I got the other day from a Daily reader. Here is what she said.

….your words are always simple and from life, anyone can find themselves in. And it’s always positive.

I’m honored to be on your mailing list and among your FB friends.Take care Mr. Mitchell

Greetings from small Croatia

Snježana

I am grateful and amazed that there are so many around the world who read the Daily. I always appreciate hearing from them.

~~~

A few weeks ago Angel Heck wrote an article on self-reliance that I really agree with. She suggests that we are often stronger than we think we are and can improve our effectiveness by sharpening some of our core skills. Here is an edited version of her key points.

1.  Curiosity − Joy comes easy to us in our youth because we haven’t become set too firmly in our ways.  Our willingness to curiously assess new things and varying perspectives allows us to experience flashes of insight and beauty wherever we go.  Those of us who fight the draw of our comfort zones as we age, who sustain our curiosity into our later years, learn a lot more and see far more beauty throughout our lifetime. Always remain curious and teachable.  Keep an open mind and do not stop questioning and learning.  Look forward, open new doors and experience new things.  Do so because you’re curious, and because you know that today’s journey is always just beginning.

2.  Creativity − When it comes to human growth, if curiosity is the engine, creativity is the steering wheel.  Creativity is the most powerful instrument of progress – a mindset that endows resources with a new capacity to create possibility and growth. The world is moving so fast these days that those who say something can’t be done are often interrupted by those who are doing it.  This is precisely why it’s important to exercise your creative mind on a regular basis.  Ultimately, the creative learners inherit the world while the doubters and complacent minds find themselves perfectly suited for a world that no longer exists.

3.  Resilience − Except for your own thoughts, there’s nothing that’s absolutely in your power.  Knowing and accepting this gives you the ability to cope proficiently with life’s constant little inconveniences – a vital life skill we called resilience. Resilience is accepting reality, even if it’s less than the fantasy you had in your mind or the reality that was once yours.  You can fight it, you can do nothing but complain about what you’re missing, or you can accept what you have and try to put it together to create something good. As you progress, life will inevitably challenge you on a regular basis.  No matter how much falls on you, keep your head up and plow ahead.  That’s the only way to keep the road to your dreams clear. 

4.  Patience − Patience is not sitting still.  Rather, it’s mastering your time by applying the right principles in the right way to attain a long-term desired result.  It’s moving forward steadily for as long as it takes to get where you want to go.  Enduring the time between your departure and arrival requires a great deal of will.  But no matter how tedious these moments of waiting are, you have to get used to the feeling, knowing that what you’re working toward is coming your way, even though it’s not with you at the moment. Ultimately the two hardest tests on the road to personal growth are the patience to wait for what you want and the courage not to be disappointed when it doesn’t arrive as soon as you had expected.  Patience can be bitter, but the seeds you plant now will bear sweet fruit.  These fruits are worth waiting for.  There’s no advantage to hurrying through life and never tasting their sweetness.

5.  Self-reliance − Self-reliance is the most important of all life skills, because without it you can’t practice any other life skill consistently.  It’s honestly a virtue that brings all the rest together. Quite simply, self-reliance is the unswerving willingness to take responsibility for your life from this moment forward, regardless of who had a hand in making it the way it is now.  It’s taking control of your life, finding your true self by thinking for yourself, and making a firm choice to live your way.  It’s being the hero of your life, not the victim. Life constantly invites you to be who you are capable of being.  Choosing to be self-reliant is accepting life’s invitation.

~~~

“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.”

Mikhail Baryshnikov

~~~

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer’s down. You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as priests. What’ll it be?” The first priest says, “I’ve always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains.” “So be it,” says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest. The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, “Will any of this week ‘count’, St. Peter?” “No, I told you the computer’s down. There’s no way we can keep track of what you’re doing.” “In that case,” says the second priest, “I’ve always wanted to be a stud.” “So be it” says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears. A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. “Will you have any trouble locating them, He asks.?” “The first one should be easy,” says St. Peter. “He’s somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult.” “Why?” asketh the Lord. “He’s on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota.”

~~~

“Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.”

James Matthew Barrie

~~~

One of those physical fitness club franchises was preparing to enter the international market.  They placed ads in newspapers all over the county for people who could represent them on a tour.  The ad said: We’re looking for five men in peak physical condition.  Must be able to speak Spanish, French, Chinese, or Japanese.  Must be knowledgeable about weights, aerobics, and at least two major sports. The day after the ad appeared, a heavy man of about 70 appeared in the offices of the fitness club.  “I’m here about the ad,” he said. The bronzed Adonis behind the desk looked surprised, but decided to be polite.  “Do you speak Spanish or French?” he asked. “Nope,” the old man said. “Chinese? Japanese?” “No, both times.” “Know anything about weights or aerobic exercises?” “Only that I wouldn’t be caught dead with either one.” “How about sports?” “I’ve never played anything more taxing than checkers.” “I see,” the young man said.  “Tell me something.  Why did you come here?” “To tell you to count me out.”

~~~

“A secure individual…knows that the responsibility for anything concerning life remains with himself and he accepts that responsibility.”

Harry Browne

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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