Ray's musings and humor

Archive for July, 2010

Ray got up!

Write the bad things that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble.

Arabic Proverb

 

 

 

Hi my friends. I am back, not at full speed but at least I am not bed bound all day. The docs discovered I have been suffering with a powerful infection and now have me on what is said to be super antibiotics for the next seven days. The prognosis is that I should then return to semi-normalcy. That is if they don’t find anything more in the additional tests they made yesterday morning. So keep your fingers crossed that all this works. I have not been knocked down like this without a hospital stay before.

Unfortunately I have had to cancel a number of meetings and appointments, including a scheduled cardiac exam. I will be locked in at home at least until the middle of next week and that ought to add some psychological trauma to go along with my physical maladies.

Oh well I am glad my trusted computer kept you semi-informed. More importantly I want to thank all of you who sent me your prayers and good wishes. Like they say this too will pass and I’ll appreciate the world a little more when I recover.

I still am somewhat brain dead so I am going to pull a couple of saved quotes and share them with you and try to include why they are important to me.

~~~

One thing life has taught me: if you are interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you. When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else.

Eleanor Roosevelt

I honestly believe that the most important part of keeping our lives vibrant as we age is to stay interested. Like Mrs. Roosevelt said it will lead you to something else which is often the secret to pulling us out of the mud created by hate and prejudice.

 

Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

Unknown

We spend so much time finding someone to blame for what we don’t have or for a pitfall that we encounter that cannot be changed that we miss the opportunity to enjoy what we do have and then move on. It bothers me that so many tell me about a negative event in their lives and why it should not have happened to them, something often from the distant past. It is truly the anchors that we choose to drop that hold us back, not the events we experience. I am sure you know we don’t have to bank our misery for when we do it stays with us always.

Bye for now and thanks for being here.

Ray

~~~

It is better to wear out than to rust out.

Bishop Richard Cumberland

~~~

I knew as early as our wedding what marriage to my wife would be like. The priest asked my wife, "Do you take this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do."

Then the priest asked me, "Do you take this woman to be your wife," and my wife said, "He does."

~~~

Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

~~~

Sherlock Holmes was sent to heaven to find Adam and Eve.  He came back within a day and said he had found them.

Watson: "How did you find them so quickly?"

Sherlock:  "Elementary, my dear Watson, they were the only ones that didn’t have belly buttons!"

~~~

To admit you were wrong is to declare you are wiser now than before.

~~~

Will Rogers said:

1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

2. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

3. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

4. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

5. You know you are getting old when every thing either dries up or leaks.

6. I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

7. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

8. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

9. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

10. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

And finally, If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.

~~~

"We’re all generous, but with different things, like time, money, talent—criticism."

Frank A. Clark

~~~

Many of us take better care of our cars then we do our mothers and yet we only expect our cars to last 5 or 6 years but we expect our mothers to last for a lifetime. Maybe we need a maintenance manual for mothers so we would know how to take care of them at least as well as we do our automobiles. Here are some items that might be included in such a manual.

Engine:

A mother’s engine is one of the most dependable kinds you can find. She can reach top speed from a prone position at a single cry from a sleeping child. But regular breaks are needed to keep up that peak performance. Mothers need a hot bath and a nap every 100 miles, a baby-sitter and a night out every 1,000 miles, and a live-in baby-sitter with a one week vacation every 10,000 miles.

Battery:

Mother’s batteries should be recharged regularly. Handmade items, notes, unexpected hugs and kisses, and frequent "I love you’s" will do very well! for a recharge.

Carburetor:

When a mother’s carburetor floods it should be treated immediately with Kleenex and a soft shoulder.

Brakes:

See that she uses her brakes to slow down often and come to a full stop occasionally. (A squeaking sound indicates a need for a rest).

Fuel:

Most mothers can run indefinitely on coffee, leftovers and salads, but an occasional dinner for two at a nice restaurant will really add to her efficiency.

Chassis:

Mothers run best when their bodies are properly maintained. Regular exercise should be encouraged and provided for as necessary.  A change in hairdo or makeup in spring and fall are also helpful. If you notice the chassis begins to sag, immediately start a program of walking, jogging, swimming, or bike riding. These are most effective when done with fathers.

Tune-ups:

Mother need regular tune-ups. Compliments are both the cheapest and most effective way to keep a mother purring contentedly. Oh yes, and let’s not forget to speak to mother lovingly and respectfully, especially when she reminds you to drive carefully and have a good time.

If these instructions are followed consistently, this fantastic creation and gift from God, whom we call "MOTHER", should last a lifetime and give good service and constant love to those who need her most.

~~~

“You have many choices. You can choose forgiveness over revenge, joy over despair. You can choose action over apathy….”

Stephanie Marston

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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Ray is still out of commision

Unfortunately Ray’s illness lingers and so he will not be doing the Daily again today. It’s probably just as well as he has been pretty miserable. He is off to the doctor again early this morning.

He again is letting me send you a reprint from five years ago. I am sure Ray will be on the road to recovery soon; let’s hope he is back tomorrow.

Let’s get our hands dirty once in awhile.

Ray’s Computer

 

Ray’s Daily

July 28, 2005

 

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Aesop

~~~

I am sure you have run into people who would like more out of life than they get now. I know I see many friends who have retired and wish for more than the idle life, I meet others who feel they are in a rut at work, and still others that just want to make their lives more meaningful. It seems like we see the same people, do the same things as each day turns into weeks, and as the weeks turn into months, soon we find that major portion of our lives have passed by without leaving us with much to show.

I often wonder what this time of my life might have been if I had not joined my Kiwanis Service Club almost 30 years ago. As a member I have made many new friends, learned more about what is going on in my community, and had hundreds of opportunities to do some good for others. If you live in Indianapolis come join me at my Kiwanis meeting some Thursday morning and see for yourself. So many people want to do something more, something for themselves, something for their communities, and something for others, but just don’t find a way to do it. Trust me there are a wide variety of volunteer roles everywhere and you can help.

Over the years I have had the good fortune to serve with others on government and community organization committees and boards. We were selected because we brought expertise, skill, and/or had a passionate dedication to the organization. While these appointments had prestige attached, we often ended up doing many of the same things we did in our jobs. Most of the time we did some good, but we also missed a lot, we missed getting out there and doing something with our hands and with our hearts.

These days I avoid taking board positions or leadership roles so I can spend more time getting my hands dirty. Now I eagerly search for opportunities to work with others at community events, fund-raisers, and the like. For example I will be taking tickets this Saturday at a festival that will benefit a performing arts organization, in a few weeks I will do three shifts as a short order cook at a major horse show raising money for an annual clothe-a-child project, and later in the month I will be working in a booth in our state fairs senior center promoting volunteerism.

Why do I tell you about this, it is because I love the people I now get to work with, people with no vested interests, people not looking for glory, just caring people that I would never meet in any other way. Most of us never get to work as a ticket taker, cook, or in any of the jobs that only require commitment and a good heart. There really is something everyone can do. Some may think these jobs are beneath them or are demeaning; nothing is further from the truth. How often do you get to take satisfaction knowing you did your best, made a difference, and did it because you cared?

So come out and join us, meet our concerned fellow citizens. Work with a young student, meet the mailman who delivers our mail, have some fun with the neighbor from up the street, join the company executive, the housewife, a retiree as we team up for something worthwhile. In other words come out and join we the people, you will have some fun, do some good, and be glad you did.

~~~

Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to live, make haste to be kind.

Henri Frederick Amiel

~~~

Alternate Uses for Duct Tape

Hate finding your mailbox clogged with junk mail, advertising circulars and bills? Duct tape your mailbox shut.

Obliterate that blinking "12:00" on your VCR once and for all with a single strip of duct tape.

Gals – duct tape keeps the toilet seat down

Guys – duct tape keeps the toilet seat up

Wrap sticky-side out around your hand to pick up fuzz, lint and pet hair from clothing and furniture also picks up small pets from clothing and furniture.

Replace winter boots with socks wrapped in several layers of duct tape.

Duct tape hand held games to your car’s steering wheel for amusement during afternoon traffic jams. Also great on trips.

High chair falling apart after the third kid? Duct tape will make it last for three or four more.

Make a fashion statement: Patch old blue jeans with duct tape.

Broken wooden serving spoons? Repair with duct tape, instant mock-silver service.

Tired of refrigerator magnets tumbling to the floor each time you reach for a cold drink? Duct tape will hold the kids’ artwork until they graduate.

~~~

Manager: "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary."

Applicant: "Well, the work is much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing."

~~~

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint"

Mark Twain

~~~

SOME FAMOUS LAST WORDS:

You’ll be perfectly safe behind this lead plate.

That’s not smoke, that’s steam.

Of course it’s sterile.

It was fresh last week.

These are the safe kind of mushrooms.

It should be O.K to swim in.

Clip the red wire first.

It’s supposed to make that noise.

It doesn’t look like the bridge is out.

They only attack when they are hungry.

The boss won’t mind.

Let’s ask those soldiers for directions.

I’m sure I turned my lights off.

I bet I can fit in there.

What can possible go wrong?

~~~

If you don’t learn anything from your mistakes, there’s no sense making them.

~~~

Two blondes were filling up at a gas station when the first one said to the other, I bet these awful gas prices are going even higher.

The second blonde replies, won’t affect me.  I always buy exactly $10 worth.

~~~

"A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip."

Caskie Stinnett

~~~

Answering Machine Messages

Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

This is not an answering machine — this is a telepathic thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

This is the refrigerator. The answering machine is busy right now, but if you leave a message I will stick it to myself with a cow magnet.

~~~

I shall pass through this world but once. Any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

Etienne de Grellet

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

He’ll be back

Ray is still spending most of his time in bed trying to recover. He is better but not better enough to do the Daily. I am confident that he’ll be back tomorrow, he has to get up and dressed to go see the Doc this morning.

 

At least today he gave me the key to the archives so I am going to send you one of the past Daily’s. I hope all of you have a fine day.

Ray’s Computer

 

Ray’s Daily

Won’t you go the other way with me?

Tuesday

July 27, 2004

 

Many of us follow in the foot step of others, while others of us follow the path less traveled. They are the ones that break the new ground, and whose lives are often filled with adventure and rewards. Each of our lives is filled with opportunity after opportunity to take the road less traveled.

We get to choose if we are going to do the same thing day after day, month after month, year after year as we follow either in the footsteps of others or on the path we have always traveled. While there may be no risk or challenge, I can almost guarantee there will be little discovery or new found pleasure. It is as Robert Frost said when he wrote:

 

        The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long as I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth,

Then took the other as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim;

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet, knowing how way leads onto way I doubted

if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh,

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

~~~

I know many of you are busy and have full e-mail boxes, if our daily please feel free to unsubscribe. To do so please follow these simple instructions:

We hate to lose loyal subscribers like yourself, but if you feel you must unsubscribe, first, ask your Internet Provider to mail you an Unsubscribing Kit, which is provided free of charge.  Make sure to tell us the make and model of your computer, as well as the operating system and amount of memory and hard disk space that you have free.  Then use these easy-to-follow directions:

  The kit will most likely be the standard no-fault type. Depending on requirements, System A and/or System B can be used.   When operating System A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron unsubscriber will be dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X" outlet hose.  Twist the silver- colored ring one inch below the connection point until you feel it lock. The kit is now ready for use.

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  To use the Auto-Unsub, first undress and place all your clothes in the clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet immediately below. Enter the shower, taking the entire kit with you.  On the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a "Shower seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then be illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob, select the desired setting. Now depress the Auto-Unsub activation lever. Bathe normally.  The Auto-Unsub will automatically go off after three minutes unless you activate the "Manual off" override switch by flipping it up. When you are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button.  The door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and place them in their container.

  If you prefer the ultrasonic log-off mode, press the indicated blue button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. The knob to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low, medium or high. For normal use, the medium setting is suggested.  After these settings have been made, you can activate the device by switching to the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If during the unsubscribing operation, you wish to change the settings, place the "manual off" override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make the change and repeat the cycle. When the green exit light goes on, you may log off and have lunch. Please close the door behind you.

Congratulations! You have just successfully unsubscribed yourself, we are going to miss you! If you feel you have unsubscribed yourself in error, just follow the above instructions backwards, and you will once again be a part of our friendly daily family. No questions asked. Have a nice day now!

~~~

True bravery is, arriving home after a night on the town and being assaulted, by your wife, with a broom, and still having the guts to ask "Are you still cleaning or are you going somewhere ?"

~~~

A woman goes to the police station to report that her husband was missing.

"Can you give me a description of him?" asked the officer.

"He’s short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears dentures," answered the woman.  "Come to think of it, most of him was missing before he was."

~~~

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

Ingrid Bergman

~~~

Two very reform Jews from the big city were traveling in Florida where on Shabbos they found an orthodox shul in a small town where they could attend services.

The shul Rebbe, seeing strangers at the entrance, greeted the two strangers and asked where they would like to sit.

Looking somewhat confused, one out-of-towner smiled and said, "Non-smoking please."

~~~

The future is not what it used to be.

~~~

She said: As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I was wearing contemporary clothes instead of my habit, I drove into a gas station to get the communal car filled up.

After the young attendant topped off the tank, he walked toward my car window to return my credit card.  It was clear from his furrowed brow that he had something on his mind.  The young man looked at me shyly and pointed to the convent’s name, John XXIII Hall, imprinted on the card.

"Pardon me," he asked hesitantly, "but how do you pronounce your husband’s middle name?"

~~~

A young minister, sitting down to dinner was about to say grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers.

"I don’t know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that we’ve blessed all this stuff before."

~~~

The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.

~~~

"I was relaxing in my favorite chair on Sunday," said Doug to Bill, "reading the newspaper, watching a ball game on TV and listening to another on the radio, drinking a beer, eating a snack, and scratching the dog with my foot — and my wife has the nerve to accuse me of just sitting there doing nothing !"

~~~

Happiness comes when we stop wailing about the troubles we have, and offer thanks for all the troubles we don’t have.

Author unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Be Wise

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.

(From the character Atticus Finch)

 Harper Lee

 

 

 

I thought today I would again pull some statements from another “Life lessons” list someone sent me to see what they mean to me. So rather then just reading them and thinking about what they convey to me I thought I would again share my thoughts with you. So here goes.

 

“A few simple truths”

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say! – What I appreciate most are friends who care enough to tell you the truth even if you don’t want to hear it. When folks only tell you what you want to hear you miss one of the best opportunities to find out what you might want to change. It may cause pain for a moment but as they say “if your best friend won’t tell you, who will?”

Now is the most interesting time of all. – You know why? For me it is because this is the moment I can make a choice, I can make things better or worse depending on what I do. Today will be another day filled with mystery, wonder and opportunity. Rather than just drifting through the day going with the flow, I get to decide if I want to continue to ride the wave or step off for a bit, possibly even to do something silly or frivolous. Today will only be uninteresting if I ignore the moments and just coast along.

When things go wrong…. Don’t go with them. – Boy isn’t this the truth! Too many of us ride the sinking ship down waiting for someone to rescue us, someone who never comes.

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side. – If we all just jump on the bandwagon or get behind the parade we really don’t need to think anymore. In life most of the truly great things have been done by people who marched to a different drummer. It is OK to buy into conventional wisdom but only if you have thought it through versus blindly accepting what are often conclusions that are waiting for a truth teller to stand up and holler “WAIT” your going the wrong way.

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to. – I have found in my life that anger takes me to places I don’t want to go. If we cannot reason together and instead pull out our guns and start shooting at each other we only makes things worse. I can agree that you have the right to think what you want, but I don’t have to stay and listen to your tirade.

~~~

I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.

Abraham Lincoln

~~~

A Catholic Dictionary

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key two octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew.

~~~

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

~~~

A backslider suddenly began attending church faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of going fishing. The pastor was highly gratified and told him, "How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services with your good wife!"

"Well, Preacher," said the fisherman, "it’s a matter of choice. I’d rather hear your sermon than hers."

~~~

"The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Announcement: the mental-disease-of-the-month club is being disbanded immediately. The reasons being:

1. During dipsomania month, the club party spent 10 times its budget on refreshments.

2. During kleptomania month, all of the club furnishings were removed, and (as aforementioned) the budget was already spent and gone.

3. During megalomania month, the club organization broke down due to having sixteen claimants to being Club President, etc.

4. During multiple personality month, our club roster roughly tripled in size with no increase in dues.

5.During paranoia month, the inflated roster dropped to zero as each member changed his or her mailing address and left no forwarding address for the club.

You members were obviously out to ruin us; it’s all clear now. It took all our remaining personal savings to track you all down. Therefore, here is your last installment: clinical depression. Have a nice day."

~~~

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny forks and spoons, so I wondered what Chinese mothers use.   Toothpicks?

~~~

A young couple met with their Rabbi to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.

On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the synagogue. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep his trousers dry. When he finally reached the shul, his best man rushed him up the aisle and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. "Pull down your pants," whispered the Rabbi.

"Uh, Rebbe, I’ve changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I would prefer the traditional service."

~~~

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.”

Sandra Carey

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Her kindness inspires

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

Leo Buscaglia

 

 

 

I was with one of my favorite friends who now lives in Florida yesterday, sadly she was in Indianapolis to attend the funeral of her 28 year old son and to make arrangements to bring his two very young children and their mother to Florida to live with her and her partner. My friend is one of the kindest and most caring people I ever met and my heart was broken when I learned of the death of her son so early in life. I could feel her pain but I also saw how her capacity to care allowed her to rise up to the role she will now play in the lives of her two young grandchildren. For all the years I have known her I have felt her most outstanding feature was her constant demonstration of love for her fellow human beings. There is no way that I could possibly describe the goodness she exhibits so I want to share a story I got from a Steve Brunkhorst mailing some time ago for it reminded me of my friend Nancy the first time I read it and it still does’

 

The Underestimated Power of Kindness

It was a bright Saturday morning in late fall, 2004. I had stopped at a cafe’ to enjoy a cup of coffee and scan the morning newspaper. Suddenly, I felt a hand on the back of my jacket and heard someone say, "Hey Steve! How ya doin’?" Looking up, I saw a boy wearing a mechanic’s uniform worn by employees of the gasoline station next to the cafe’. He looked familiar, but, at first, I was unable to recall where we had met. He also held a cup of coffee, so I asked him to join me. Very soon, his story – and probably my coffee – began to thaw out my memory.

Five years earlier, he had been traveling home late one February night with a group of friends. A ferocious blizzard had arrived that afternoon, and by midnight, the snow drifts were getting deep. He recalled hitting a drift just down the road from my house. He had walked to my house for help. I had taken my pickup and tow rope, and pulled him out of the snow drift and up to the highway where maintenance trucks had cleaned away the snow. This has been a common occurrence here during the winter. I cannot count the times someone has also pulled my car from a snow drift.

However, it was an unforgettable experience for him. He was only eighteen at the time, and he described how frightened he had been. That was not a storm one would want to be stuck in all night. Within a couple hours, my pickup would not have made it to the highway. As it turned out, his memory and account of that snowy night was a very unexpected – and much appreciated – kindness toward me. I thanked him sincerely for stopping to chat during his break.

His memory of our unexpected meeting in a snow storm brightened my day, and an old acquaintance became a new friend. Since then, we’ve had more chats over a Saturday morning cup of coffee. Such simple actions, as Leo Buscaglia suggested in today’s quote, can indeed have an underestimated power.

There are many people who desperately need kind words, smiles, and listening ears – ears that will hear without judging and respond without possessing. One simple kindness at the right moment can change the direction of a life and shine a light of hope when all light seems to have gone out. Sometimes it has the power to save a life.

Here is a great quote that I keep in my journal. It was written by William Penn…

"I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again."

Steve Brunkhorst

~~~

"Because I took a moment to speak

And you took a second to smile

A tiny part of me will leave with you

And a little bit of you will stay."

Jevan

~~~

Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives.

Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes.

Then Bill said, "I’ve made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word."

"Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?"

"It’s easy," replied Bill. "My last words are always ‘Yes, Dear.’"

~~~

"The Five Stages of Life"

To Grow Up

To Fill Out

To Slim Down

To Hold It In

To Hell With It

~~~

City Boy: Say, Dad, how many kinds of milk are there?

Father: Well, there’s evaporated milk, buttermilk, malted milk, and — but why do you wish to know?

City Boy: Oh, I’m drawing a picture of a cow, and I want to know how many *spigots* to put on her.

~~~

"No birth is an accident, no experience is without meaning, and no life is without value."

Gary Zukav

~~~

A priest was given the job of hearing the confessions of an order of monks. The priest returned to his parish that night and complained to one of the nuns about how long each of the monks took to enumerate all of their sins.

"Oh Father," said the nun. "It couldn’t have been that bad."

The priest replied, "Oh it was worse than you can imagine. It was like being stoned to death with popcorn."

~~~

Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.

~~~

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher’s desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain’t got no crayons."

"Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don’t have any crayons.’ You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons. They don’t have any crayons. Do you see what I’m getting at?"

"Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them crayons?"

~~~

"I think Little League (baseball)  is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house."

Yogi Berra

~~~

A minister decided to try something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind." The pastor shouted out, "Cross!"

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison "The Old Rugged Cross."

The pastor hollered out, "Grace!" The congregation began to sing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound."

The pastor said, "Power!" The congregation sang "There is Power in the Blood."

The Pastor said, "Sex!"

The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, from the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing "Precious Memories."

~~~

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Together we can do amazing things!

Knowing is not enough; we must apply.

Willing is not enough; we must do.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

 

 

I had coffee the other day with a friend who is co-authoring a book describing the accomplishments of special women. She and her partner are researching what it is that motivates and inspires some women to do extraordinary things. These are not necessarily the renowned, more often than not they are those who do something special for others without recognition. In fact my friends writing partner used the women who deliver the babies of female AIDS victims in primitive settings in Africa as examples.

The magic and inspiration that comes from the good works of others, men or women, offer us all some of the brightest lights in what is often a dark world. It is not that they need or even desire recognition it is that we need them to show us what we can do.

I was talking to Carol Bellamy, the then head of the United Nations Children’s Fund, years ago and told her I was proud of my fellow Kiwanis members who stood ready to offer their hearts, their minds and their hands in the service of children. That comment came back to mind as I reflected on what my author friend was doing. For most of us have good hearts and active minds and yet often fail to offer our hands in service to others. I find it way too easy to find reasons not to do things I might do and when I hold back I miss the opportunity to reap the reward that comes from touching the lives of those less fortunate.

When I think about it, it really does not require super intelligence or even a caring heart, what it does require is action, putting our hands out to others. The great news is that as has been demonstrated on the streets of Calcutta, in small villages in Africa and in homeless shelters here at home those that give nurture their hearts and their souls. I am excited about the stories my friend will share with her readers, not as reports on the works of others but rather as a source of inspiration for all.

I know that many of you give of yourself and for that I am grateful, for it will be people like you, doing even the smallest good deed that in the aggregate will provide us what we will need if we are to have any chance of a better tomorrow. I’ll do what I can and hopefully maybe even a little more and while I am doing whatever it is I know that many of you will be doing so as well and that together we will make a difference.

PS: When my friend publish her book I’ll let you know so you too can acquire it and be warmed by the stories of those who deserve our respect and gratitude.

~~~

I am only one,

But still I am one.

I cannot do everything,

But still I can do something;

And because I cannot do everything

I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.

Edward Everett Hale

~~~

A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night. A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said, "You’re a man of God. Can’t you do something about this?"

He replied, "Sorry, I can’t. I’m in sales, not management."

~~~

"How many are there working at your office?"

"About one third."

~~~

Arthur grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop. He held up the thermos, and the barista quickly came over to take his order.

"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" Arthur asked.

The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."

"Oh, good!" Arthur sighed in relief, "Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."

~~~

The human race is divided into two classes–those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, “Why wasn’t it done the other way?”

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

~~~

A man was celebrating his 80th birthday and his 50th wedding anniversary.

A reported asked, "Sir, how do you account for looking so fit?"

"Well," the old-timer told him, "when we got married, my wife and I made an agreement that any time we saw an argument coming on, I would grab my hat and walk three times around the block. You’d be surprised what 50 years of outdoor exercise will do for your health!"

~~~

You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.

Henry Ford

~~~

Bill has the typical observant wife. One evening after dinner, she handed him a bottle of ‘Rogaine’ hair restorer.

Bill told her while he was indeed starting to thin out some, he didn’t really think he needed hair restorer yet.

She said, "Oh. It’s not for you, it’s for your secretary, she seems to be losing quite a bit of her hair on your jacket."

~~~

An acre of performance is worth a whole world of promise.

William Dean Howells

~~~

During a recent publicity outing, Jennifer sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question: "Will I be acquitted?"

~~~

If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.

~~~

Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational from a few years ago which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an ass.

3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting sex.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earthexplodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

~~~

Each day is a new canvas to paint upon. Make sure your picture is full of life and happiness, and at the end of the day you don’t look at it and wish you had painted something different.

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

It’s a fine day for singing

Those who wish to sing, always find a song.

Swedish Proverb

 

 

 

I’m moving fast this morning, I have a meeting where I’ll get caught up on how OASIS of Indianapolis is putting together new programs to benefit us more seasoned citizens and then I am off on a quick trip out of town. So everyone I again go back to yesteryear and hope that you either have joined our merry band since it was first published or that you’re like I am and have a memory that allows the old to look new no matter how many times we see it.

 

Ray’s Daily first published on July 20, 2004.

 

Ray’s Daily

 

Well my social calendar is full today and tomorrow, what with blood draws, Hematologist and Cardiologist appointments, pacemaker checks and EKG’s I will be pretty busy. It is nice to be so wanted. Maybe a friendship club would be cheaper though.

~~~

"The longer I live the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is to play on the one string we have and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes."

Charles Swindoll

~~~

Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.

John Macnaughton

~~~

It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline in the Northwest.

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

~~~

Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

~~~

Grandma Goldberg, a woman of 85, was slowly ambling down the street when she met her physician Dr. Cohen. Dr. Cohen, a dapper graying man in his early 60’s asked the elderly lady, "Mrs. Goldberg how are you feeling?"

For a long moment the woman gave the good doctor a terrible stare and then she said — "You ask me how I’m feeling! I’ll tell you how I’m feeling!! My legs hurt, my chest is sore, my heart is beating too fast and I can’t sleep!!! I have horrible headaches and stomach pains too!"

The good doctor looked at the elderly lady with compassion, "If you’re feeling so awful, why didn’t you come and see me right away?"

Grandma Goldberg let out a sigh and said, "I was just waiting until I felt a little better."

~~~

"A man sent a postcard from Las Vegas to a friend: Having a wonderful time. Wish I could afford it."

Myron Cohen

~~~

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin …As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.  As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee.  "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?  Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrr, Gerrrr, Kiiiing."

~~~

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.

Amos Bronson Alcott

~~~

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to seek a grant designating Southern slang, or Y’allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the Y’allbonics/English dictionary.  

1) HEIDI – (noun) – Greeting.  

2) HIRE YEW – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"  

3) BARD – (verb) – Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

4) JAWJUH – (noun) – The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner."  

5) BAMMER – (noun) – The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000 in improvements."

6) MUNTS – (noun) – A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts."  

7) THANK – (verb) – Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah’ll have a bare." 

8) BARE – (noun) – An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah’ll have a nutter bare."  

9) IGNERT – (adjective) – Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage:" Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"

10) RANCH – (noun) – A tool used for tight’nin’ bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."  

~~~

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.

~~~

Nadine and Jill were talking about a friend who had just given birth to triplets.

"You know, that only happens one in twelve-thousand times?" said Nadine.

"Amazing!" said Jill. "How did she ever find time to do any housework?"

~~~

Law of Institutional Food: Everything is cold except what should be.

~~~

An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made.

"For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles."

"What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group.

"I’m not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but I bet it sounds something like. "Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!’"

~~~

Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief,

than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.

Marcus Antonius

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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