Ray's musings and humor

Ray looks back again

A teacher affects eternity: he can never tell where his influence stops.

Henry Adams

 

I had another one of those busy but productive days yesterday that was capped off by my Kiwanis club’s 35th anniversary dinner that kept me out and about later than usual so I slept in this morning. I even missed my 5 AM workout so I will have to get on the treadmill at home later today. I now have another day which is full of opportunities for service that will keep me busy until midafternoon. In all honesty I am a little brain dead so I am once again going to visit yesteryear so we both can see what I saw on this day seven years ago

Ray’s Daily first published on October 26, 2005

We are told that our future lies with our ability to educate and train our best and brightest, yet we do not adequately invest in education. We talk about the need for society to save itself by well-educated statesman, yet we do not adequately invest in education. We talk about the need for better health care that requires top notch Doctors, yet we do not adequately invest in education. The children that enter the educational system today deserve the very best education we can provide, for they will manage our destiny tomorrow. It is not just money that is needed; it is also our hearts and our voices. We must stop looking at the school systems as being primarily custodial and start partnering with them to assure our future. And, yes, let us start paying our teachers so that they don’t leave the profession for a better job working as a waitress or bartender. At a very minimum let us show them the respect they deserve.

~~~

What nobler employment, or more valuable to the state, than that of the man who instructs the rising generation.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

~~~

“Mom’s List of Things She Does Not Want To Hear”

1.  I swallowed the goldfish.

2.  Did you know your lipstick works better than crayons?

3.  Does grape juice leave a stain?

4.  The principal called…

5.  But DAD says that word all the time!

6.  What’s it cost to fix a window?

7.  Has anyone seen my earthworms?

8.  I painted your shoes pretty, huh Mommy?

9.  I found out the dog doesn’t like dressing up in your underwear.

10.  I’m running away from home. (Well, maybe some day)

~~~

Drive defensively – buy a tank.

~~~

An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery.  Pausing before one gravestone he said, “There lies a very honest man.  He died owing me 50 dollars, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts, and if anyone has gone to heaven, he certainly has.”

They walked on a bit further and then came to another grave.  The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, “Now there’s a different type of man altogether.  He owed me 60 dollars and he died without ever trying to pay me back.  If anyone has gone to hell, he certainly has.”

The little boy thought about all of this for a while and then said, “You know, Grandpa, you are very lucky.”

“Me? Lucky? Why?” asked the old man in surprise.

“Well, whichever place you go to, you’ll have some money to draw on.”

~~~

The secret of a successful marriage is incompatibility. He has the income, she has patability.

~~~

The following are different answers given by elementary school age children to each of the given questions:

How did your mom meet your dad?

1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

What makes a real woman?

1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dads such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don’t do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What’s the difference between moms and grandmas?

1. About 30 years.

2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don’t even have bread on them!

Describe the world’s greatest mom?

1. She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!

2. The greatest mom in the world wouldn’t make me kiss my fat aunts!

3. She’d always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

Is anything about your mom perfect?

1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.

2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.

3. Just her children.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d dye-it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.

~~~

Education is the guardian genius of democracy. It is the only dictator that free men recognize, and the only ruler that free men require.

Mirabeau Buonaparte Lamar

~~~

Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich, for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant.

Epictetus

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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