Ray's musings and humor

Archive for July, 2016

Lighten Up

Man, unlike the animal, has never learned that the sole purpose of life is to enjoy it.

Samuel Butler


I have much to be thankful for in my life. My family, my friends and the many interesting people I have met along the way have delivered me much happiness. My various careers beginning with the computer industry in its infancy through the years I spent working on local and international humanitarian projects have provided me with experiences that I never dreamed possible in my youth.

Yes the years have been full and rewarding. Thinking back I think the one recommendation I would offer my seven wonderful grandchildren is to not take life to seriously. The following piece I picked up triggered my reflection on my life and after doing so I strongly agree with what the gentleman wrote.


If I had my life to live over again

This is the story of a dying 85 year old man imagining- How he would’ve lived his life differently if given the chance. It is found in the book Living, Loving & Learning by Leo Buscaglia, who discovered it in a journal of humanistic psychology.

He says, “If I had my life to live over again, I’d try to make more mistakes next time. I wouldn’t try to be so perfect. I would relax more. I’d limber up. I’d be sillier than I’ve been on this trip. In fact, I know very few things that I would take so seriously, I’d be crazier. I’d be less hygienic. I’d take more chances, I’d take more trips, I’d climb more mountains, I’d swim more rivers, I’d watch more sunsets, I’d go more places I’ve never been to. I’d eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I’d have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.

You see I was one of those people who lived prophylactically and sensibly and sanely hour after hour and day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had it to do all over again, I’d have more of those moments. In fact, I’d try to have nothing but beautiful moments- moment by moment by moment.

I’ve been one of those people who never went anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it all over again, I’d travel lighter next time. If I had to do it all over again, I’d start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I’d ride more merry-go-rounds, I’d watch more sunrises, and I’d play with more children, if I had my life to live over again. But you see, I don’t.”


Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone about you, and you will be surprised what a happy life you will lead.

Charles Schwab


Will Rogers said:

  1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
  2. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
  3. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
  4. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
  5. You know you are getting old when every thing either dries up or leaks.
  6. I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
  7. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
  8. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
  9. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
  10. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

And finally, If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.


There are three things most men love but never understand: females, girls and women.


Leola, who lived in Tennesse, had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people, she did something about it. . .

The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened near her house and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola’s. From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to persuade the motel management to change its number.

Naturally, the management refused claiming that it could not change its stationery. The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just because a customer was getting someone else’s calls 24 hours a day didn’t make it responsible. After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters into her own hands.

At 9 o’clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was calling the motel and asked for a room for the following Tuesday. Leola said, “No problem. How many nights?”

A few hours later Dallas checked in. A secretary wanted a suite with two bedrooms for a week. Emboldened, Leola said the Presidential Suite on the 10th floor was available for $600 a night. The secretary said that she would take it and asked if the hotel wanted a deposit.

“No, that won’t be necessary,” Leola said. “We trust you.”

The next day was a busy one for Leola. In the morning, she booked an electric appliance manufacturers convention for Memorial Day weekend, a college prom and a reunion of the 82nd Airborne veterans from World War II.

She turned on her answering machine during lunchtime so that she could watch Days Of Our Lives, but her biggest challenge came in the afternoon when a mother called to book the ballroom for her daughter’s wedding in June.

Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and asked if she would be providing the flowers or did she want the hotel to take care of it. The mother said that she would prefer the hotel to handle the floral arrangements. Then the question of valet parking came up.

Once again Leola was helpful.

“There’s no charge for valet parking, but we always recommend that the client tips the drivers.”

Within a few months, the Ribrock Plaza Motel was a disaster area. People kept showing up for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Sweet Sixteen parties and were all told there were no such events.

Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper that the motel might go bankrupt. Her phone rang, and an executive from Marriott said, “We’re prepared to offer you $200,000 for your motel.”

Leola replies. . . .”We’ll take it…… but only if you change your phone number.”


Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.

African Proverb


A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, “Chicken farming isn’t easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I’ll give you 100 chickens.”

The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later, the new neighbor stopped by to see how things were going. The new farmer said, “Not too good. All 100 chickens died.”

The neighbor said, “Oh, I can’t believe that. I’ve never had any trouble with my chickens. I’ll give you 100 more.”

Another two weeks went by, and the neighbor stops in again. The new farmer says, “You’re not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too.”

Astounded, the neighbor asked, “What went wrong? What did you do to them?”

Well, says the new farmer, “I’m not sure whether I’m planting them too deep or not far apart enough.”


The way to happiness: keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Fill your life with love. Scatter sunshine. Forget self, think of others. Do as you would be done by. Try this for a week and you will be surprised.

Norman Vincent Peale


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Don’t wait too long

We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.

Nelson Mandela


I would say I was sorry I missed you yesterday but since I enjoyed sleeping in so much I think I better just say thanks for letting me sleep. I had some enjoyable encounters with friends and family the day before that limited my nap time so I was grateful for the additional rest.

My conversations with one of my grandsons and with two of my favorite friends got somewhat into a philosophical discussion of life. Thinking about it later reminded mee of a poem I saved years ago. It does have food for thought. Here it is:


      The Secret of Life

Every day goes by like the last

It seems that time flies too fast

I close my eyes and ask it to stop

I look at the clock and another minute has passed

I think to myself…

What would I do if I weren’t consumed

Consumed by the world and all that it is

The obligations attached to being successful and popular

What would I do?

Embrace those that I love…

Care for those that I don’t…

Learn how to love those I hate….

Enjoy every moment I get…

Forget about what means nothing …

Remember all that means everything…

Make a joke when I shouldn’t…

Laugh even though its not funny…

Cry when I’m happy…

Never fear, it only wastes time…

Show the devil when he’s met his match…

Cast out my demons forever…

Travel the world and see…

Stand on the highest mountain…

Be the heart of a dead country…

Make my own music…

Even though it doesn’t rhyme, make my own poem…

Sing my own songs…

Make new friends…

Accept different cultures…

Eat weird food…

Hug, kiss, and never let go…

All the things that I used to think were so important

I now realize mean nothing

All I want to do is help those who can’t help themselves

All the money in the world can’t buy my happiness

All the joys of doing what I love

All means nothing in the face of God if

All I have is nothing for him

In a matter of 60 seconds

I’ve figured out the secret of life

But now I’m falling asleep

Will I remember when I wake up?

 — Author Unknown — 


Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.

Coco Chanel


A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” she replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the mother said.

The child bowed her head and said, “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”


Manager: “For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.”

Applicant: “Well, the work is much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing.”



You’ll be perfectly safe behind this lead plate.

That’s not smoke, that’s steam.

These are the safe kind of mushrooms.

Clip the red wire first.

They only attack when they are hungry.

I’m sure I turned my lights off.

What can possible go wrong?


If you don’t learn anything from your mistakes, there’s no sense making them.


Two blondes were filling up at a gas station when the first one said to the other, I bet these awful gas prices are going even higher.

The second blonde replies, won’t affect me.  I always buy exactly $10 worth.


“A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.”

Caskie Stinnett


Answering Machine Messages

Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

This is not an answering machine — this is a telepathic thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

This is the refrigerator. The answering machine is busy right now, but if you leave a message I will stick it to myself with a cow magnet.


Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.

Earl Nightingale


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Thank you Dennis

We’re given second chances every day of our life.  We don’t usually take them, but they’re there for the taking.

Andrew M. Greeley


Sorry everyone. Ray is sleeping in this morning so I will send you a Daily from days gone by.

Ray’s Computer


Ray’s Daily first published on July 27, 2005

I heard from a former colleague and friend the other evening. He was one of those people who often help us think differently about our choices. If not for him I would not have retired from the computer industry when I did. If I hadn’t I would not have been as personally rewarded as I have been over these last fifteen years. I probably would have missed the opportunity to work for Kiwanis International helping with the UNICEF effort to virtually eliminate the world’s leading cause of mental physical deficiency, staying active in the community, while enjoying life as much as I have since.

It was serendipity that brought Dennis and I together that night, we just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Dennis suggested we get together for a while at the end of the day and I will always be glad we did, for we talked through my rationale for feeling I could not retire. As we talked I discovered why I should retire. The rest is history, I called my wife, she agreed, and I notified my company the next day. I have always felt fortunate that so many good things have happened in my life because of luck. But luck doesn’t do us much good if we don’t take advantage of it when the opportunity presents itself.


Don’t let the opinions of the average man sway you.

Dream, and he thinks you’re crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you’re lucky.

Acquire wealth, and he thinks you’re greedy. Pay no attention. He simply doesn’t understand.

Robert G. Allen


Here is a refresher for the guys.

Woman’s Dictionary

* Yes = No.

* No = Yes.

* Maybe = No.

* I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry.

* We need = I want.

* It’s your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now.

* Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.

* We need to talk = I need to complain.

* Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to.

* I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron.

* This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

* I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper.

* I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

* Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.

* How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate.

* I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

* You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

* Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead.


Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.


A doctor was administering a test for memory loss to three old gents at a Veteran’s Clinic.

He asked the first one, “What is 3 times 3?” And he replied, “One Hundred and Fifty Six.”

The doctor turned to the second old man. “What’s three times three?” The second old man said, “Tuesday.”

The doctor then asked the same of the third man who answered, “Nine.”

Thinking he was getting somewhere the doc asked, “And how did you arrive at that answer?”

The old vet answered, “Easy Doc…I just subtracted Tuesday from 156 and I got nine.”


Son to father:  Can you help me with my ethics homework, or would that be missing the point?


Our first day at a resort, my wife and I decided to hit the beach.  When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed.  I grabbed my cooler and was on my way back out when I stopped at the door and asked, “Can we drink beer on the beach?”

“Sure,” the maid replied, “but I have to finish the rest of the rooms first.”


“Sound travels slowly. Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers don’t reach them till they’re in their 40s.”


Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilt.”

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about.

He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.”


People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.


A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.

One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 32 lb. 10 oz.


I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.


Two young blondes were out for a therapeutic cycle ride one day, when suddenly one stopped and let the air out of her tires. “What did you do that for?” asked the other.

“Oh, I couldn’t reach the pedals, so I thought it would help,” came the reply.

At this the second blonde got off her bike, took off the handle bars and seat, and swapped them around.

“What did you do that for?” asked the first. – “Well, if you’re gonna be that stupid, I’m going home…”


“I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.”

Richard Diran


Mrs. Berkowitz, shopping in the supermarket, went from counter to counter humming and singing to herself.

“You seem to be very happy,” remarked the clerk.

“I have every reason to be,” replied the woman. “I’ve got a beautiful home, two lovely children, a nice bank account, my husband’s life is insured for $1,000,000 and his health is far from robust.”


In pursuit of happiness, the difficulty lies in knowing when you have caught up.

R.H. Grenville


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Life Change

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.

Stephen Hawking


A number of months ago I was video recorded as part of a piece on the history of my Kiwanis Club and the role I played as a founding member. They also had me discuss the role I played in Kiwanis International’s first worldwide service project. The interview provided me an opportunity to reflect on my nearly forty years of Kiwanis service.

I got a rough cut of the video the other day and was shocked at how old the guy playing my part looked, not only that he also had a lot less hair than I do. Then I realized the old guy was really me. He sure did not look like the guy I see in the mirror each morning.

It did not take me long to convince myself that it is not that important what I look like on the outside, it is what comes from the inside that matters. It was another lesson in the value of accepting change as we age. Here is an article from years ago that I found on the Toplife Coaching Blog that puts life changes into perspective.

Life Changes

Recognize that a Positive Attitude Towards Change will Help You (and not Hinder You)

If you’re beginning a journey of personal transformation, the concept of change can be rather scary proposition. When we make personal changes – and start to become less anxious about life, it requires us to take an adventure into the “unknown.” I’d like to encourage you to develop a healthy perspective or attitude towards personal change.  I would agree that it’s easier to settle for the status quo in life, but why settle?

That’s the exciting part about having goals, plans, and dreams for the future.  They inspire us, and motivate us to take action, and to learn, grow, and develop each day. If you want to learn how to overcome anxiety, why not take action and learn all that you can – and then put into practice the valuable things you learn?  You don’t need to be the same person you were yesterday.  Each day is a great opportunity for personal growth. Once you have a positive attitude towards change, you will be more likely to tell yourself “This change in my life will help me.” 

If we don’t change, we don’t grow.  If we don’t grow, we are not really living. This quote encourages me to embrace change in my own life- as I take action on my own personal development.  I’m grateful that I found this quote, as I recognize this need in my own life.

Recognize That Change Involves Stepping Outside Of Your Comfort Zone

Years ago, when I began my personal development library of books and audios, I started to face new things about myself. I had attitudes, fears, and hang-ups in life that were holding me back.  It was uncomfortable for me to face new realities about myself. A few years later, it was even more uncomfortable for me to attend a personal development seminar, where I met many people on the same type of journey through life that I was.

Growth involves facing our fears, taking action – knowing that we’ll survive things like disappointment, failure, disapproval, and rejection.  These experiences help us learn about the power of perseverance, courage, and of the will to succeed.

Realize that Making Changes in Life Can Be Rewarding

I like a comfort zone image I found on photobucket.com – a free photo sharing site. 


I would encourage you to print out this image.  It will remind you to begin to take action when you don’t want to take action in life, and when you’re tempted to maintain the “status quo”. When you print out the image, you will see 9 descriptive words, feelings and phrases that you may often experience when you accept your perceived limitations and remain within your comfort zone:


We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.  The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.

Joseph Campbell


To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia game with the passengers.  They asked us to guess the total number of years the three of them had worked for the airlines.

After an attendant collected our estimates, we heard the announcement: “The correct answer is 26 years.  For the two people who came closest with 28 years, we have prizes.  And for the passenger in seat 12F who guessed 85 years, would you please step off the plane once we are airborne?”


If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it.

Lucy Larcom


His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. “Did she say anything before she died?” asked the sergeant.

“She spoke without interruption for about forty years,” said Finnegan.


Tact is for people who are not witty enough to be sarcastic


Not long ago I met the waitress of my dreams.   About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, “Ma’am, this potato is bad.”

She nodded, picked up the potato and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, “Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know.”


“Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.”

Alfred A. Montapert


A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. “I’ll have a pound of that salmon,” he said.

“That’s not salmon,” the clerk said. “It’s ham.”

“Mister,” the customer snapped, “in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!”


Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.


On his first day working at the gas station, a worker watched a senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the underground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them. “What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?” the worker joked.

“It would go out,” he replied in a very factual manner.

“Really?” he asked, surprised to hear that. “Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?”

“No, the force from the explosion would blow out the match.”


If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.

Rabindranath Tagore


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


I feel better now

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”

 Marcus Aurelius


After the hate filled political convention last week I needed something to offset the doom and gloom. Instead of us looking for happiness from the outside we owe it to ourselves not to succumb to the siren song of the hucksters that promise us everything without offering us anything real.

I was pleased when I was offered the following antidote to all the ill will. In truth I believe the key to happiness lies within ourselves.


by Alain de Botton

1 RESILIENCE. Keeping going even when things are looking dark; accepting that reversals are normal; remembering that human nature is, in the end, tough. Not frightening others with your fears.

2 EMPATHY. The capacity to connect imaginatively with the sufferings and unique experiences of another person. The courage to become someone else and look back at yourself with honesty.

3 PATIENCE. We lose our temper because we believe that things should be perfect. We’ve grown so good in some areas (putting men on the moon etc.), we’re ever less able to deal with things that still insist on going wrong; like traffic, government, other people… We should grow calmer and more forgiving by getting more realistic about how things actually tend to go.

4 SACRIFICE. We’re hardwired to seek our own advantage but also have a miraculous ability, very occasionally, to forego our own satisfactions in the name of someone or something else. We won’t ever manage to raise a family, love someone else or save the planet if we don’t keep up with the art of sacrifice.

5 POLITENESS. Politeness has a bad name. We often assume it’s about being ‘fake’ (which is meant to be bad) as opposed to ‘really ourselves’ (which is meant to be good). However, given what we’re really like deep down, we should spare others too much exposure to our deeper selves. We need to learn manners, which aren’t evil – they are the necessary internal rules of civilisation. Politeness is very linked to tolerance, the capacity to live alongside people whom one will never agree with, but at the same time, can’t avoid.

6 HUMOUR. Seeing the funny sides of situations and of oneself doesn’t sound very serious, but it is integral to wisdom, because it’s a sign that one is able to put a benevolent finger on the gap between what we want to happen and what life can actually provide; what we dream of being and what we actually are, what we hope other people will be like and what they are actually like. Like anger, humour springs from disappointment, but it’s disappointment optimally channelled. It’s one of the best things we can do with our sadness.

7 SELF-AWARENESS. To know oneself is to try not to blame others for one’s troubles and moods; to have a sense of what’s going on inside oneself, and what actually belongs to the world.

8 FORGIVENESS. Forgiveness means a long memory of all the times when we wouldn’t have got through life without someone cutting us some slack. It’s recognising that living with others isn’t possible without excusing errors.

9 HOPE. The way the world is now is only a pale shadow of what it could one day be. We’re still only at the beginning of history. As you get older, despair becomes far easier, almost reflex (whereas in adolescence, it was still cool and adventurous). Pessimism isn’t necessarily deep, nor optimism shallow.

10 CONFIDENCE. The greatest projects and schemes die for no grander reasons than that we don’t dare. Confidence isn’t arrogance, it’s based on a constant awareness of how short life is and how little we ultimately lose from risking everything.


To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.




“Just live with him.. You don’t have to marry him. ”

“I don’t need any grandchildren”

“I think a cluttered bedroom is a sign of creativity.”

“Yeah, I used to skip school, too.”

“Just leave all the lights on…it makes the house more cheery.”

“Could you turn the music up louder, so I can enjoy it, too?”

“Well, if Timmy’s Mom says it’s okay, that’s good enough for me.”

“I saw your subscription to Playboy was expiring so I sent in a check to renew.”

“Your wife knows best – forget about the advice I gave you”


“Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.”

C.S. Lewis


She said: Antiques have become very popular. Right now there are 15 million Americans who have things that are old, funny-looking, don’t work and are only kept for sentimental purposes. Some of these are called antiques – and the rest are called husbands.


“One of the virtues of being very young is that you don’t let the facts get in the way of your imagination.”

Sam Levenson


Doug and Bill started a business from scratch. Through hard work hey built it into a very successful company with sales in the millions. Doug and Bill lived like kings. Almost overnight, things changed. Sales dropped sharply, customers disappeared and the business failed. Doug and Bill blamed each other and they parted on unfriendly terms.

Five years later, Doug drove up to a decrepit diner and stopped for a cup of coffee. As he was wiping some of the crumbs from the table, a waiter approached the table. Doug looked up and gasped, it was Bill.

“Bill,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s a terrible thing seeing you working as a waiter in a place like this.”

“Yeah,” said Bill, curling his lip, “But at least I don’t have to eat here.”


I don’t hold a grudge—not even against people who have done things to me I’ll NEVER forgive.


“The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts: to return love for hate, to include the excluded, and to say, “I was wrong”.”

 Sydney J. Harris


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


It really is OK

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Its OK

I was at a meeting yesterday of my Kiwanis Club. The club is well known for the good works it does. The club includes men and women of a wide range of ages who participate in service projects, fundraisers while sponsoring three high school service clubs. I am one of two remaining founding members of the club that has been in operation for four decades.

Yesterday I shared with a few of my friends that I was feeling guilty because I was not able to participate like I once did. Yep, I was feeling down on myself. My friends let me know that they know my limitations and that I should keep attending the meetings and not worry about my limitations. They are right of course, I should not feel guilty if I am doing all I can do. So rather than adopting a woe is me attitude I am going to focus on feeling good about myself. I will follow the advice offered in the following article by Barton Goldsmith Ph.D.

10 Ways to Feel Better About Yourself

Some days are better than others. On those days that go less well, we usually end up being hard on ourselves. Here are some tools to avoid doing so.

  1. Keep going. Don’t let life’s changes throw you off track, but remember that most extenuating circumstances are temporary. Gain more clarity by staying the course and channeling your energy in a positive direction.
  2. Trust yourself. Believe in your inner resources, no matter what, and you’ll grow from the experience. I believe that the answers usually lie within and you are probably smart enough to figure out what you need to do. Give yourself a little time and have patience.
  3. Be friends with life. Remember that the world is not out to get you and it does not punish you. You do that to yourself. Learning to focus on other opportunities or in another direction can give you some perspective.
  4. Watch your thoughts. Your thinking will never be 100 percent positive. You must learn to dismiss the negative thoughts and stay open to other ideas that will help you move in a positive direction. Start recognizing negative thoughts and use your mind to quell them.
  5. Summon the strength you have inside. Learn to access and direct your strengths to the highest good for all concerned. Believe that your strength and intelligence can help you deal with anything. Remember that you have survived worse.
  6. Learn to love yourself. You do not have to be who you are today, and your life is not scripted. Changing how you feel about yourself means creating a strategy, gathering some new tools, and making yourself into the person you want to be. A good way to start is to stop doing things that hurt.
  7. Don’t want too much. Desire can be a powerful motivating tool, but wanting something too much can be very painful and very expensive, so don’t live beyond your means or covet the unattainable. Seek your desire, but keep your integrity.
  8. Don’t get insulted. It is wise to be dispassionate about critical comments. Human’s will always bump heads, but consider the source, and if it’s the other person’s issue, ignore it. Learn to respond instead of react, and don’t show your ire.
  9. Recognize that disappointment is part of life. Even the most successful people have to deal with disappointment, but they’ve learned how to use it to get to the next level of life. The trick is to process your feelings, then take some kind of action.
  10. Deal with your fears. Overcoming fear makes you stronger, and being a little scared can make you better. You want to have butterflies; you just want them flying in formation. It helps to understand and admit your fears. Then you can kick them to the curb.


Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.

Malcolm S. Forbes


Golfer: Well, I have never played this badly before! Caddy: I didn’t realize you had played before, sir.

Golfer: Caddy, Do you think my game is improving? Caddy: Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to.

Golfer: Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday? Caddy: The way you play, sir, it’s a crime any day of the week!

Golfer: This golf is a funny game. Caddy: It’s not supposed to be.

Golfer: That can’t be my ball, caddy. It looks far too old. Caddy: It’s been a long time since we started, sir.

Golfer: That’s good for one long drive and a putt. Caddy (after ball travels only one meter): And now for one hell of a putt.


We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.

Max Depree


We were watching CNN’s Technology program they have on weekends, when a segment on Virtual Reality came on. Looking at the all the wires and gadgets, she turned to me and said that Virtual Reality would never catch on with women. I was puzzled by this, until she explained, “Every woman’s first thought on seeing that helmet will be, ‘I can’t wear that. It will mess up my hair!'”


She said: They say it is better to give than to receive. I say it depends on the gift.


She also said: Have you ever noticed that retired couples have reached a level of maturity where they never have any of those piddling little quarrels that other people do?

They have one big argument that starts at seven in the morning and goes right through till bedtime.

Retirement is also when the husband comes up with all kinds of theories on how to do the cooking, housework, and shopping better.  The wife also comes up with a theory – that all pills do NOT come in bottles.


“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application.”

Ken Kraft


I was casting kids in our church for our annual Christmas play, and I was giving out choices, such as Shepherd, Lamb, Villager.  One 5-year-old couldn’t decide, so I said, “Luke, you can be a Villager.” He said, “OK,” and ran over to his parents.  Very excited, he said to them, “Guess what! I get to be a mini-van!”


Pretend to treat your wife as a rational creature. It may surprise her at first, but she’ll appreciate it. On the other hand, she may burst out crying – thinking you’re drunk again.


My wife and I went to a “Dude Ranch” while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was.

He told her one had a horn and one didn’t, she replied, “The one without the horn is fine. I don’t expect we’ll run into too much traffic.”


She told me “Don’t criticize your wife. If she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.”


Approaching the counter at a local post office, I said to the stern-faced woman on the other side, “Are you the Postmistress?”

“No!” she replied testily, “I’m the Postmaster – Uncle Sam doesn’t pay me enough to be anyone’s mistress.”


Our entire life … consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are.”

Jean Anouih


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Enjoy the memories

Memories are the best things in life, I think.

Romy Schneider


I had a really full day yesterday and am going to a very early meeting this morning. So you guessed it, another blast from the past.


Ray’s Daily first published on July 21, 2004

If you are like I am you sometimes wonder where your memory has gone. Fortunately for me I seem to be able to forget most of the bad things. Names of people I meet often return slowly, many times not until after they pass by. Even little things like standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open wondering why I am there is one of my life’s little adventures. But in the main, I like you, have many memories that I cherish, those that I can pull up in found remembrance of another time. Someone sent me the following awhile ago and I thought we could use the advice. It is our life; we might as well enjoy it. To paraphrase something a friend has often said, if you think you won’t, you won’t.

Do you remember the times when life has seemed almost magical? Do you remember those days when you felt as if you were floating on air? Stop for a moment and fill yourself with those feelings of how very good, how very special life can be. Though the events may be distant in space and time, the positive feelings they bring can always be with you. Remember often how good life can be. For the more you remember, the more life you give to your best possibilities.

If you focus your attention on the worries, anxieties, conflicts and shortcomings, those are the things that will grow. Focus instead on how good life can be, and with every moment you’ll be making it better. Look up, rather than down, and you’ll see an infinitely bigger, more positive horizon. Celebrate life’s real and substantial goodness, and that goodness will come to dominate your reality. Take a moment, early and often, to remember how very good life can be. And make the goodness grow ever stronger.


Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for.



There once was a guy who treated his wife royally. Anything she would want, she got. He would constantly hold ‘real’ conversations with her, forewent his “night out with boys” to be with her, and made her life a heaven on earth. One night, after cuddling together, she turned to her husband and said, “You know, you treat me so good, that if you ever divorce me……..I’m going with you!”


Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Josh Billings


God said, “Adam, I want you to do something for me.” Adam said, “Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?”

God said, “Go down into that valley.” Adam said, “What’s a valley?”

God explained it to him. Then God said, “Cross the river.” Adam said, “What’s a river?”

God explained that to him, and then said, “Go over to the hill…….” Adam said, “What is a hill?” So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, “On the other side of the hill you will find a cave” Adam said, “What’s a cave?”

After God explained, he said, “In the cave you will find a Woman.” Adam said, “What’s a woman?” So God explained that to him, too. Then, God said, “I want you to reproduce.”Adam said, “How do I do that?”

God first said (under his breath),  “Aw, Man!!!” And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman. Then, in about five minutes, he was back. God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, “What is it now?”

And Adam said, “What’s a headache?”


A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Dave Barry


A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.”

Kenny replied, “Well then, just give me my money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

Kenny said, “OK then, just unload the donkey.”

The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”

Kenny says, “I’m going to raffle him off.”

Farmer, ” You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”

Kenny, “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he is dead.”

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, “What happened with that dead donkey?”

Kenny, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.”

Farmer, “Didn’t anyone complain?”

Kenny, ” Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”

Kenny grew up and eventually became Martha Stewart’s financial advisor


Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Ed’s Fifth Rule of Procrastination


When the heir to the Rothschild estate visited a poor Jewish village near Budapest, the locals poured out to greet him.  With all due ceremony, he was given a small parade, met with the mayor, and awarded a key to the city. At the local inn, he ordered some roast chicken for brunch.  When he finished, he received a bill larger than the most expensive bottle of wine his family sold.

“This is outrageous!” he shouted at the innkeeper. “Never in my life have I been billed so much for a roast chicken!  Are chickens that rare around here?”

“Not at all,” said the innkeeper reassuringly.  “But millionaires — ah, they are a rarity!”


Today is the Tomorrow you worried about Yesterday. Was it worth it?


A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location. “It’s only a stone’s throw away from the beach,” he was told. “But how will I recognize it?” asked the man.

Back came the reply: “It’s the one with all the broken windows.”


When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Paul Dickson


Two teenagers were arrested. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a phone call. Some time later a man entered the station and asked for them by name.

The sergeant said, “I suppose you’re their father……..or maybe their lawyer?”

“Nope, neither,” the chap replied. “I’m just here to deliver their hot pizza.”


He said, “Some women are terribly hard to please – the rest are impossible!”


A man was in bad shape. He constantly gasped for breath and his eyes bulged.   The doctors didn’t give him long to live. He decided to live it up. Withdrawing all of his money from the bank, he went on a shopping spree. His last stop was at the most expensive haberdasher in the city. He pointed out a dozen silk shirts. He wore a size fourteen.

The clerk said, “Your neck looks bigger than fourteen. You need a sixteen.”

The man said, “I know my size. I want them in a fourteen.”

The clerk said, “I’ll get them for you, but I want to warn you…if you wear a fourteen you’ll gasp all day and yours eyes will bulge.”


The best part of life is not just surviving, but thriving with passion and compassion, and humor and style, and generosity and kindness.


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Keep Laughing

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.

Langston Hughes


I have been publish Ray’s Daily for almost fifteen years now. It has been the vehicle that has provided me real benefits. It has kept me in touch with thousands of people, required me to think about the world around me and kept humor in my daily thoughts. Many of you have commented that it is the jokes and sayings included “below the fold” each day that keeps you coming back’

For me starting the day with a laugh or too lightens my day and helps me from taking things too seriously. It is true that laughter is great medicine. Here are excerpts from an article written by Elizabeth Scott that help make your day’s as happy as mine usually are.

Maintain A Sense of Humor to Cope

Developing a sense of humor about life’s challenges is an effective coping technique that can actually lead to better overall health as well as simple stress management. That’s because, aside from the health benefits of laughter (which are numerous and significant), having a sense of humor about life’s difficulties can provide a way to bond with others, look at things in a different way, normalize your experience, and keep things from appearing too overwhelming or scary.

Start With a Smile.

Studies show that having a smile on your face can release endorphins, which make you feel better, and can lead you to actually feeling more happy (rather than just looking happier).

Take A Step Back.

When you’re in the middle of a difficult situation, it can seem overwhelming. If you try to see your situation as an observer would, it’s often easier to recognize what’s funny. Trying to see your current situation through a new lens is known as reframing, and it works!

Value The Extremes.

If your situation seems ridiculously frustrating, recognize the potential humor in just how ridiculously frustrating and annoying it is. In your imagination, take the situation to an extreme that becomes even more ridiculous until you find yourself amused.

Have A Funny Buddy.

Find a friend with whom you can laugh, and let the relationship work for you! You can each share your frustrations, and laugh about them in the process. Even when your friend isn’t there, you can lighten your mood in a dark situation by thinking about the retelling that will come later.

Getting your friends on board with laughter can be an excellent way to make the laughs come more easily. They can help you find the humor in life, and you can help them. Share your thoughts, share your jokes, and share this article–you’ll all be laughing in no time!


The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

e. e. cummings


How about some golf quips…

Lee Trevino:  “You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives.  Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.”

Hank Aaron:  “It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.”

Lee Trevino:  “I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.”

Jimmy Demaret:  “Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.”

Gerald Ford:  “I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.”

P.G. Wodehouse:  “The least thing upsets him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.”  

Tommy Bolt, toward the end of one of his infamous high-volume, temperamental, club-throwing rounds, asked his caddie for a club recommendation for a shot of about 155 yards. His caddie said:  “I’d say either a 3-iron or a wedge, sir.” “A 3- iron or a wedge?” asked Bolt. “What kind of stupid, #*!~%^* choice is that?” “Those are the only two clubs you have left in the your bag, sir.” said the caddie.


“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”

Forrest Tucker


She told me that her husband likes massages. She booked a masseuse to come to the house. Wasn’t that a good idea? She had thought, until the doorbell rang, and there was an eighteen-year-old gorgeous blonde girl standing there saying, “I’m here to give your husband, a massage.”

My friend said, “He’s dead.”


“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”

Charles, Count Talleyrand


An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to inquire after the priest’s much-loved roses.

“Not bad,” said the priest, “but they suffer from a disease peculiar to this area known as the black death.”

“What on earth is that?” asked the passerby, anxious to increase his garden knowledge.

“Nuns with scissors.”


A thief broke into my house last night.  He started searching for money, so I woke up and searched with him.


When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.


“Correct me if I’m wrong, but hasn’t the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer?”

George Price


One day, a gorilla escaped from the Bronx Zoo. They searched for him everywhere in every borough. They announced his disappearance on the radio and television as well as in the newspapers, but no one reported seeing it.

At last, the gorilla was discovered in the New York Public Library. Officials of the zoo and the animal handlers were summoned to the library where they found it sitting at a desk in the reading room with two books spread out in front of him. The gorilla was reading with great concentration. One book was the Bible and the other was Darwin’s “Origin of Species”.

The zookeepers asked the gorilla what he was doing.

The gorilla replied, “I’m trying to figure out whether I am my brother’s keeper or my keeper’s brother.”


I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.

Audrey Hepburn


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


I am glad we are friends

“Never leave a friend behind. Friends are all we have to get us through this life.”

Dean Koontz


I had a pleasant surprise last week. A gal who worked for me almost thirty years ago found me on the internet. She was a personal favorite, a good worker and a friend. She was fairly young in those days and new to the computer industry but did well. She left for warmer climes before I retired from the computer business in 1990 but I have often thought of her over the years.

We have e-mailed back and forth since and I was rewarded by her positive memories of the years we worked together. She seems to be doing well in Florida, starting a new job while acting as a caregiver and companion for her widowed mother.

Her connecting has been a welcomed gift. I always appreciate hearing from friends, colleagues and acquaintances who I have shared time with in the past. Especially those like Debi who only left fond memories behind.

On another subject, I don’t know about you but I really have had a hard time saying no over the years. It took me a long time to understand that agreeing to do something you don’t want to do is never a good idea. If you have the problem this edited article may help:

4 Ways to Say No Effectively in Any Situation Without Drama

By Stephanie Owens, MA

Saying “No” can be difficult because Pleaseaholics are concerned about hurting people’s feeling or damaging a relationship. I know how difficult it can be to even imagine telling someone no. These 4 No’s are simple, practical solutions to gracefully decline a request of your time or resources. Each no is designed for a specific situation or type of relationship. All you have to do it pick the right “NO” and put it to use.

Short & Sweet No

This no is ideal for strangers or intrusive salespeople. In this case, keep it short and sweet with a smile and a simple “No” or “No thanks” response. I believe in kindness to strangers too, so be polite, but clear.

Simplify Sandwich

Use Simplify Sandwich with co-workers, acquaintances and anyone with whom you have an on-going friendly relationship. It sounds like this, “I’m sorry, I’m making an effort to simplify right now, but thanks for thinking of me.” The “simplify” is sandwiched between “I’m sorry” and “Thank You” – two of the least conflict evoking phrases in the English language. Also, everyone can relate to an intention to simplify, especially around the holidays. It’s more credible than being “busy.”

The Invisible No

The Invisible No is great for children or adults who act like children. The “NO” is implied and inferred, but never stated. In fact it starts with a “yes.” Therefore it’s less likely to be rebuffed. Here’s the formula for The Invisible No: “Yes, you can _____ as soon as you ______.” For example, if your child wants to go outside and play, avoid getting into a tug of war, or caving on your no. Simply respond, “Yes, you can go outside as soon as you finish unloading the dishwasher.” Continue to calmly repeat your Invisible No like a broken record. They’ll get the point.

The Positive No

The Positive No is reserved for your most important relationships or significant requests. William Ury, world-renowned negotiator and author of A Positive No, developed it. The structure of A Positive No is actually a YES, NO, YES. The first “yes” is your core value that’s driving your need to decline the request. The “no” clearly states your boundary. The last “yes” is an invitation to find a solution that’s mutually agreeable to both of you.


A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.


The School for the Deaf had just graduated it’s newest class of 21 year-olds. As a celebration, they all went out to a bar for drinks. They all sat down at the bar and began to sign their orders to the bartender, who was looking at them puzzled. He looked at the teacher and said, “I don’t know sign language! What are they askin’ for?”

The teacher replied, “Just give em what you think is good. Don’t give em too much, because this is the first time they’ve ever been drinking. Just use your judgement.” The teacher got a drink and went downstairs with the other teacher, leaving the students at the bar.

An hour later, the teachers come upstairs, running to the screams of the bartender. He was backed against the wall pointing at the students and screaming. The students were moaning loudly and waving their arms all over the place. “What the hell are they doing now???” the bartender asked.

The teacher observed for a moment. “Ach! I told you not to give them too much to drink!! You got them drunk, and now they’re singing!”


I went to San Francisco…I found someone’s heart…Now what?


An American general was speaking, via an interpreter, to a battalion of Iraqi troops. At one point, he told a rather long and somewhat convoluted joke. When it was the interpreter’s turn to interpret, he spoke for about four seconds, and the audience burst into laughter, pleasing the general.

A captain, along on the trip, turned to a Iraqi officer and asked how he managed to convey the general’s joke so quickly.

The Iraqi officer replied, “The interpreter said ‘The American general has just told a joke. Everyone please laugh.'”


Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Howard W. Newton


Tower: “Alpha Charlie, climb immediately to 4000 feet for noise abatement.”

Pilot: “How can I possibly be creating excess noise at 3000 feet?”

Tower: “At 4000 feet, you will miss the 707 now coming at you at 3000 feet, and that is bound to avoid one heck of a racket….


“You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.”

Groucho Marx


A new recruit police officer had almost finished his interview, and the interviewer asked him the last question which was:

“You are on duty. A car crashes in the middle of the road with two people inside the car, the two people are critically injured and the car is badly damaged. The ambulance arrives, but it is going too fast and crashes into the damaged car. The car blows up and causes the ambulance to flip on its side. A passer-by, while walking on the sidewalk is toppled, by the force of the explosion, into the river beside the road. Unfortunately he cannot swim and is drowning in the river. Another man runs out of a house screaming, and shouts that his wife is pregnant and about to have her baby any second now. “What would you do in this situation?” the interviewer asked.

The recruit looks around the office and thinks for a while… he replies, “I’d take off my uniform and disappear into the crowd!”


WARNING! The Surgeon General has determined that the excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages could cause you to sleep with someone you normally wouldn’t even talk to!


My job is in the aerospace industry, and it’s always been a challenge to explain what kind of work I do.

At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted explanations before deciding to be as generic as possible. When the subject came up while I was talking with a group of guys, I replied simply, “Defense contractor.”

The men nodded, and as the conversation went on, I silently declared victory to myself. Then, one of them turned to me and asked, “So, what do you put up mainly? Chain-link?”


I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy.

Charles R. Swindoll


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Living the good life

The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.

Carl Rogers

Live a good life


As you know I have lately had to make some life adjustments. I find it is not easy doing as much as I use to do and I often feel guilty that I am not doing more. Part of my reluctance to commit to too much has been my unreliability. I have decided that it does little good to agonize over my new reality so I was pleased to find a helpful piece published by Marc Chernoff, here it is in part:

Good Decisions You Have Waited Too Long to Make

As you’re moving at the speed of life, it’s easy to overlook the basics – the simple, good decisions that make life sweeter. It’s time to…

Be present. – Being completely present is extremely important – being actively in the ‘here and now’ for yourself and for the ones you love.  Fortunately, doing so is an easy thing to accomplish.  It’s enough to simply take a few deep breaths, pay attention, and let go of thinking and planning for every other time and place.  Just come back to where you are, breathe in, breathe out, and smile.  You are right here, right now in this moment we call life, which is in itself a miracle worth paying attention to.

Leave the past behind you. – You act like it’s you against the world, but it’s really just you against yourself.  You become a prisoner in your own mind when you cling to the pains of the past.  Instead, be free and cling no more.  If you’re brave enough to say “goodbye,” life will always reward you with a new “hello.

Make conscious choices. –You’ve learned many things from the path you’ve walked in the past.  What do you wish to learn today?  What are the possibilities that most interest you now?  Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens because of you – it’s what you choose to think, do, and create in each moment.

Start DOING. – Don’t let what you can’t do stop you from what you can do.  Do what you can with what you have right now.  Stop over-thinking and start DOING!

Give yourself more credit. – What if you started giving yourself more credit?  What if, for today, you choose to believe that you have enough, you are enough, and that you’ve come far enough to be worthy?  What if, for today, you choose to believe that you’re strong enough, wise enough, kind enough, and loved enough to move forward?

Appreciate the good life you have. – The secret to a good life is to pay more attention to the beginnings than the endings.  So many people say they want a new life, but then they take the new one they get every morning for granted.  Don’t do this.  Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how great it has been.  The good life begins right now, when you stop wanting a better one.


“Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. TRUST. HOPE. LOVE. WISH. BELIEVE. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go.”

Mandy Hale


How to move a computer

  1. Bone up on your cursing. You will need it later.
  2. Pick a *good* spot to locate your computer. Don’t be too picky; you will regret having started on this venture soon enough.
  3. Disconnect all cables, cords, power sources, umbilical cords and plumbing. Look at the black, gray & white spaghetti mess on the floor and sob. Refer to number 1. While you’re at it, it helps to focus on cursing Bill Gates and Steve Jobs for making all this possible.
  4. Be sure to dust machine off, since it’s been sitting for months in one spot, gathering a dust mound the size of Mt. Rainier. This is especially essential if you have asthma.
  5. Now that you’ve picked a *good* spot, it’s time to replace all the cables, cords, etc. Make sure it’s in a dark, hard-to-reach location.
  6. New computers have color-coded plugs and plugins to make assembly easier. This has no bearing on you since your computer is in a dark, hard-to-reach location and they’re all the same color: gray. See number 1.
  7. Get a flashlight. Look for new batteries for flashlight you’ve left in the junk drawer for months. Go to store to buy new flashlight batteries since you don’t have any. Rule number 1 is coming in handy now.
  8. While inserting various cords and cables, be sure to drop at least one on the floor behind the desk, where it will take a contortionist to retrieve it.
  9. Find out that your printer cable is now not long enough to reach the computer (see number 1). Oh well, you didn’t use it that much anyway.
  10. Once you have all the cables, etc. back in place, turn computer back on.
  11. Sit, puzzled why computer isn’t working.
  12. Plug monitor in.
  13. Ponder why keyboard and mouse don’t work.
  14. Switch keyboard and mouse plugins.
  15. Call spouse in to admire your handiwork.
  16. Spouse informs you that he/she liked it better where it was, and to move it back.
  17. When asked why you’re banging your head on the monitor, don’t reply. It would only confuse him/her.


There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Mohandas Gandhi


Two blondes were talking over coffee one morning about men. Susan said, “I can’t understand why men are so afraid of commitment.”

Debbie replied, “Tell me about it! I dated one guy for a year and a half, and I finally had to give him an ultimatum.

“What did you say?” Susan asked

“I just told him, ‘Look, either you tell me your last name, or it’s over!'”


At my age, I’ve begun to regret the sins I did NOT commit.


The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she’d died and gone to heaven when she reached my very polite and patient son on the phone. At the end of her long sales pitch, she asked, “Do you mind if we send out someone to give you an estimate?”

“Not at all,” my son said.

“When would be a good time?” she asked.

My son answered, “Just as soon as I dig a basement.”


Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.

Robert Louis Stevenson


A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, “Would you like to dance?”

The girl says, “I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you.”

The guy says, “I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants.”


“Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?”

Milne (Winnie the Pooh)


Young son: Pop, did you know Mommy thinks you’re perfect?

Father: She does? Wow! How do you know?

Young son: I heard her say it to Mrs. Smith.

Father: When was that?

Young son: Just before she used the word idiot.


“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”

Roy T. Bennett


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


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