Ray's musings and humor

Archive for December, 2014

Have a great New Year

“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering ‘it will be happier’…”

Alfred Tennyson

 ! 2015 wishes

Here we go, New Year’s Eve, tomorrow a fresh year and for many a fresh start. Since most folks will be celebrating or recovering from too much celebrating there will be no Daily tomorrow. As I told you over the last few days I have reached the age where I am comfortable making New Year’s resolutions that do not require super effort. In fact this year I am striving more for success in keeping my commitments rather than taking a chance on disappointment by taking on too much.

But I know most of you are on a high achiever path so your sights are probably set pretty high. I just got this article written by Dr. LeslieBeth Wish that may be a help to you. I have made some minor cuts to fit the Daily but kept all her tips.

Beating the Odds of Breaking your New Year’s Resolutions: Tips that Work

Many New Year’s resolutions are broken by the end of January. If that sentence describes you, don’t fret. New Year’s resolutions are hard to keep because we humans—and probably most primates—have brains that are designed for pleasurable sensations and encounters such as eating delicious food, having sex, socializing or mastering a difficult task. Unfortunately, there isn’t a magic pill or process that guarantees New Year’s resolutions success, but here are some tips that have worked for the women in my study and for people in general. You will have to experiment to see which ones work for you.

Smart Steps for New Year’s Resolutions Success

  1. Evaluate to motivate. Make a list of all the things you’d like to change. Now rate them in both in degree of importance and difficulty. Ask yourself, “How likely am I to do this?” Since health issues are often the most important, you might choose to work on that. Yet, some health-related problems such as losing weight are the toughest ones to address. What should you do?
  2. Build in on-going help and support. Get professional guidance immediately. You don’t want that first week at the gym to be your last. The best solutions combine motivation and pleasure. Tell all your family members and friends about your resolutions and ask them to help you—or join you! Get a buddy. Tell a friend to check in on you—or go with you or speak up when you shop or eat too much. Going it alone courts failure. Or, if you really want to quit smoking, consult a professional and find a support group.
  1. Take small steps to train your brain. Rather than make big resolutions, vow to take one small step a day. Allow your brain to get used to going without the pleasure of a cigarette or drink or dessert. In some cases, though, eliminating totally your unwanted behavior works better. Now you can see why resolutions are so complicated!
  2. Know your moods triggers. Get mindful of your feelings and state of mind. Do you feel insecure, lonely or unloved? What have you done in the past to soothe you—drink, eat, shop, for example? Ask yourself: “How am I feeling right now and what would I normally do about it that is not good for me? And what can I do to handle my situation that is good for me?”
  3. Start again—and learn. Don’t give up. Get back on that horse, as they say. Giving up old behavior that made you feel less stressed and unhappy is difficult to change. Learn from your setback. Ask yourself, “What triggered my relapse?” When you relapse, which is very common, just start over—and be more vigilant about your triggers. Remember, behavior is a choice.
  4. Create rewards to assist your brain to connect pleasure with discipline. A reward might be permission to eat one or two small bites or buy one item under a certain amount—or not buy anything at all! Eventually, your success will become its own reward. Or, create a money jar where you deposit a dollar or all your change every time you stay on course. Or, don’t allow yourself to watch your favorite show or use social media until you complete your task for the day.
  5. Be your own buddy and stay positive. Think about your previous success in overcoming your urge to spend, smoke, eat, drink or do any other undesirable behavior. Keep a Success Journal so you can read what you did to recognize and resist the temptation to give in. Say these words out loud: “I know this change is difficult, but I deserve to be healthy and happy.”

~~~

“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”

Brad Paisley

~~~

If you are concerned about not following through on your New Year’s resolutions you might find one or more of these helpful.

  1. Read less.
  2. Gain weight.
  3. Stop exercising.
  4. Watch more TV.
  5. Procrastinate more.
  6. Drink. Drink some more.
  7. Start being superstitious.
  8. Spend more time at work.
  9. Stop bringing lunch from home: eat out more.
  10. Take up a new habit!

~~~

“There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.”

~~~

Tips to let you know if you are at a really bad party this year…

To give it a Times Square feel, everyone is groped, fondled and pick-pocketed

The ‘Party Hats’ look suspiciously like stolen traffic cones

There’s a “Happy 2012” sticker on the packet of shrimp you’ve been eating all night

It’s January 6th

At midnight everyone gathers around to watch your Uncle Earl’s pants drop

You hear a guy doing a count down before using the bathroom

The ‘Champagne’ tastes suspiciously like apple juice mixed with Alka Seltzer

~~~

A hangover is something to occupy a head that wasn’t used to the night before.

~~~

When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked the little five-year-old how he liked the new place.

“It’s great!” he said. “I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room. But, poor mom still has to sleep with dad.”

~~~

An old-timer is someone who remembers every detail of their life story, but cannot remember how many times they have told the same person.

~~~

Here a few New Year’s toasts you may want to use tonight

As you slide down the banisters of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

May the clouds in your life form only a background for a lovely sunset.

May your life be as beautiful as a summer day, with just enough clouds to make you appreciate the sunshine.

Success to the lover, honor to the brave, health to the sick, and freedom to the slave.

Good day, good health, good cheer, good night!

~~~

“Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you have always wanted to do but could not find the time. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Vow not to make a promise you do not think you can keep. Walk tall, and smile more. You will look 10 years younger. Do not be afraid to say, I love you. Say it again. They are the sweetest words in the world.”

Ann Landers

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

What will you choose?

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

 ! choose happiness

As I was reflecting back on the last twelve months I again realized that I can choose what I want to remember. My major heart problems, surgeries and extended rehabilitation stays were major distractions but they were not the highlights of my year. Most everyday had something worth noting and appreciating. The horrors of war and pestilence that took place were offset by the warmth of conversations with friends and acquaintances as an example.

2014 included the discovery of new places to eat, new things to see, and a bevy of smiling faces. All the grouches I met along the way only made me appreciate that I was not carrying their burdens going through life letting everything ruin my day. The other thing I really appreciated was discovering something I think was worth sharing with you, if I was not looking I would have missed so much that brightened my outlook.

So my friends I hope you will join me in looking forward to the wonders in store for us in 2015 while we appreciate what we so often miss. Here is a story that is a great reminder that what we see is up to us.

Find a Release

by: K.C. Leong

Open your eyes. What do you see? Do you see the crowds of people walking around? Look at their faces. Curious looks, snobs, anger, expressionless looks, looks of concentration. Did you notice the person that was smiling at you? Look again. See the trees waving to you in greetings?

Concentrate now on your hearing. What do you hear? Traffic? Discussions on the latest gossip? People on the cellular phones that are trying to compete with the noise? Cursing and swearing? Or the radio / television of your neighbors? But do you hear the songs of praises the birds in the day sings for you, or the lullaby the insects orchestrate for you in the night?

Now smell the air. Exhausts? Odors you feel repulsive? Smell again. Concentrate this time. You will find the fragrance of the perfect blossom.

Focus your senses to your skin. Feel the heat? The humidity? But did you not also notice the breeze that is gently trying to cool you? Feel the frost of the winter, biting through all your insulation. Again feel the warmth that the sun is wrapping around you in a warm embrace. And the warmth that is already within you that your heart is circulating.

There is always comfort around us if you know where to look. There is too much distractions in this society. Focus your senses in the correct way and you will find a release.

~~~

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.

James Oppenheim

~~~

The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children’s books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a “Contract” for returning the books on time.

Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so.

The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.

Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, “That other Librarian we had could write.”

~~~

The statement below is true.

The statement above is false.

~~~

Early in the semester, a student stops by during the professor’s office hours. He bids her enter. She glances up and down the hall, steps in, closes the door and says, “I would do anything to pass this class.” She steps closer to his desk, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

“I mean,” she whispers, “I would do…anything.”

He returns her gaze. “Anything?”

“Anything,” she replies.

The professor’s voice drops to a whisper and he says, “Would you…study?”

~~~

Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

~~~

She said: During my brother’s wedding, my mother had managed to keep from crying–until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over to my grandfather’s wheelchair and gently touched his hand.  That was all it took to start my mother’s tears flowing.  After the wedding, Mom went over to my grandparents and told her how the tender gesture triggered her outburst.

“Well, I’m sorry to ruin your moment,” Grandmother replied. “But I was just checking to see if he was awake.”

~~~

“A dog teaches a child fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.”

Robert Benchley

~~~

During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the class instruction in unarmed self-defense. After he presented a number of different situations in which they might find themselves, he asked a student,

“What steps would you take if someone were coming at you with a big, sharp knife?”

The student replied, ” *BIG* ones.”

~~~

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

(Theatre Rule)

~~~

Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked.

She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”

~~~

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

~~~

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local mall and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car, and saying emphatically, “Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!”

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange look and asked, “Why don’t you just put it in park?”

~~~

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.

Marcel Proust

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Have you decided yet?

We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.

Charlotte Whitton

! 2015

Last Friday I wrote about what I planned to do to make 2015 as manageable and productive a year as I could. Probably what made this effort slightly different than in the past was my commitments were not grandiose and were more focused on staying with things that I should be able to do with an emphasis on making each day as good as it can be rather than spending months reaching for the moon. The bottom line is I am not focusing on what I might do but making a commitment to doing what I want to do.

After I shared my thoughts on my plan I got a message from Angel Chernoff that was on target as far as I am concerned. I have done some minor editing and have included it below. I thought it might be of value to you and our other friends.

5 Easy Ways to Uncomplicate Your Life in 2015

Would you like to ncomplicated your life in 2015?  I bet you would.

For the cynics who might say that the list of ideas below are “too complex” to be “simple,” there are really only two steps to simplifying your life:

– Identify what’s most important to you.

– Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else.

Of course, that advice isn’t terribly useful unless you can see some examples of how to apply this concept to different areas of your life; so I present to you these five proven strategies for uncomplicating your life in 2015:

  1. Let GO of what was never meant to be. – Letting go is part of moving on to something better. You will not get what you truly deserve if you’re too attached to the things you’re supposed to let go of.  Sometimes you love, and you struggle, and you learn, and you move on.  And that’s OK.  You must be willing to let go of the life you planned for so you can enjoy the life that is waiting for you.
  2. Stop wishing your life away. – The truth is, your whole life has been leading up to this moment. Think about that for a second.  Every single thing you’ve gone through in life, every high, every low, and everything in between, has led you to this moment right now.  This moment is priceless, and it’s the only moment guaranteed to you.  This moment is your ‘life.’  Don’t miss it.
  3. Start making moves. – Sometimes we ask questions not to seek answers but to affirm something our soul knows already. You’re not doing yourself a favor by merely hearing the same answer from people over and over again.  It is accepting the truth, making a conscious change and finally moving on to other things that is your answer.  Give your soul a chance to explore the life you are meant to live.  Stop asking the same questions – at some point you have to make a decision and take action.
  4. Look for the silver lining in every tough situation. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope. Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times.  And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right.  Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
  5. Spend more time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.

~~~

“Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself defeated again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life’s blueprint. Smile!”

 Og Mandino

~~~

A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented with their desk computers. One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going. The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen. In her most reassuring voice, she said, “The computer wants to know what your name is,” then she walked over to the next child.

The boy leaned toward the screen and whispered, “My name is David.”

~~~

“Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.”

The Little Prince

~~~

An attractive older woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and asks for a Scotch with only two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today!”

The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.. ”

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, “I would like to buy you a drink, too.”

The old woman says, “Thank you for your kindness. Mr. Bartender, I’ll have a Scotch with only two drops of water.”

“Coming right up,” says the bartender.

As she finishes her second drink, the man to her left says, “I would like to buy you one too.”

The old woman says, “Thank you for your kindness.. Bartender, I’ll have another Scotch with only two drops of water..”

“Coming right up,” the bartender says. As he gives her the drink the bartender says, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”

The woman replies, “Kid, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole different issue.

~~~

I am in total control, but please don’t tell my wife I said that.

~~~

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.  “Here is the situation,” she said.

“A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?”

A little girl raised her hand and asked, “To draw out all his savings?”

~~~

“An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have — the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”

~~~

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town, “What a peaceful and loving couple.” A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. “Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon on a mule pack. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s mule stumbled. My wife quietly said, ‘That’s once!’ We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’ We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule dead.

I started an angry protest over her treatment of the mule, when she looked at me, and quietly said, ‘That’s once.’ And we lived happily ever after.”

~~~

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve.  Middle age is when you’re forced to.

Bill Vaughn

~~~

A woman walks up to an old man sitting in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?”

“I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods, and never, ever exercise,” he replied.

“Wow, that’s amazing,” she said, “How old are you?”

“Twenty-six.”

~~~

The pleasure we derive from doing favors is partly in the feeling it gives us that we are not altogether worthless. It is a pleasant surprise to ourselves.

Eric Hoffer

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Only a few more days

Whether we want them or not, the New Year will bring new challenges; whether we seize them or not, the New Year will bring new opportunities.

Michael Josephson

 ! Next year

I hope that if you celebrate Christmas that you had a great day yesterday. Now with only a few days left before we begin another New Year we have a little time to reflect on what 2014 was like for each of us. In my case I think it went pretty well. I survived two life threatening events and also had surgery to correct some plumbing problems; I even made some new friends during the recovery processes. I had to back down from some of my commitments but I was able to reprogram my activities to where I could still stay involved and even maybe do some good.

Those of you who have been reading the Daily for a while were joined this year by hundreds of new subscribers. Many are from other parts of the world; the most recent being a new friend from Croatia. Taking the time to think about our world each day as I prepare to write the Daily helps me to realize just how fortunate I am. I have lived a long time and traveled widely. I have done many things over the years, the highlight being my years with a leading global public health project. Now I have the time to appreciate all the things overlooked in the past. I am especially grateful for each day that my wife of 62 years and I spend without significant problems.

I don’t plan on setting big goals for 2015 other than making sure I make it another great year. I will exercise more during my daily visits to the gym while limiting my love of food to reasonable levels. And of course I will continue to do my best to provide you each day with humor and sprinkled with wisdom that I have found along the way.

Here are some resolutions recently published in a Pittsburgh paper that I think I’ll add to my 2015 list, you might want to as well.

Worthwhile Resolutions

 Spend More Time with Family & Friends

Recent polls conducted by General Nutrition Centers, Quicken, and others shows that more than 50% of Americans vow to appreciate loved ones and spend more time with family and friends this year. Make plans to meet up with friends for an evening of camaraderie at a favorite restaurant or take the family to a popular place for family fun. Work shouldn’t always come first!

Fit in Fitness

The evidence is in for fitness. Regular exercise has been associated with more health benefits than anything else known to man. Studies show that it reduces the risk of some cancers, increases longevity, helps achieve and maintain weight loss, enhances mood, lowers blood pressure, and even improves arthritis. In short, exercise keeps you healthy and makes you look and feel better.

Tame the Bulge

Setting reasonable goals and staying focused are the two most important factors in sticking with a weight loss program and the key to success.

Enjoy Life More

Given the hectic, stressful lifestyles of millions, it is no wonder that “enjoying life more” has become a popular resolution in recent years. It’s an important step to a happier and healthier you! Get out and try something new! Take up a new hobby. Go to a theater performance, or head to the local spa.

Help Others

A popular, non-selfish New Year’s resolution, volunteerism can take many forms. Whether you choose to spend time helping out at your local library, mentoring a child, or building a house, there are many nonprofit volunteer organizations that could really use your help. Or if your time is really in short supply, maybe you can at least find it in you to donate the furniture, clothing and other household items that you no longer need, rather than leaving them out by the curb to fill up our landfills.

~~~

Let our New Year’s resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word.

Goran Persson

~~~

A lifelong unchurched man suddenly develops a vague religious urge and decides to join a church–any church. So he sets out to find one.

His first stop is a Roman Catholic church where he asks what he has to do to join. The priest mentions diligent study and the affirmation of the Nicene and Apostles’ Creeds, then–just to see how much the man knows–asks him where Jesus was born. “Pittsburgh,” he answers. “Get out!” cries the shocked priest.

Next stop is a Southern Baptist church where the seeker is told he would have to learn Bible verses, swear belief in the Nicene and Apostles’ creeds, swear off booze, and be baptized (“By immersion, not just some sissy sprinklin'”). The Baptist preacher then, to see how much this man knows, asks him where Jesus was born. “Philadelphia?” he asks tentatively (once bitten, twice shy). “Get out, you heathen!” yells the preacher.

Our perplexed protagonist finally walks into a Unitarian church where he is told all he has to do is sign a membership card. “You mean I don’t have to renounce anything, swear to anything, or be dunked in anything?” “That’s right. We have no special tests for membership, no dogma. We support total individual freedom of belief.” “Then I’ll join! But tell me–where was Jesus born?” “Why, Bethlehem, of course.” The man’s face lights up. “I knew it was some place in Pennsylvania!”

~~~

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

~~~

“Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent an email to my wife I’d be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man’s arms. Why, Dad? Tell me why!”

Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, “Maybe, Son, she didn’t get the email.”

~~~

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

~~~

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.  “What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?” asked the officer.

“I’m going to a lecture.” The man said.

“And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?” the cop asked.

“My wife,” said the man.

~~~

You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

~~~

More than anything, a young man from the city wanted to be a cowboy. Eventually he found a rancher who took pity on him and gave the lad a chance.

“This,” he said, showing him a rope, “is a lariat. We use it to catch cows.”

“I see,” said the man, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat.  “And what do you use for bait?”

~~~

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

Napoleon Hill

~~~

This guy loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn’t crazy about the ferry. If you missed a ferry late at night, you had to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan.

So, when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn’t subject himself to an hour’s wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck.

He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, “Well, I made that one, didn’t I?”

“Sure did,” the bystander said. “But you should have waited a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock.”

~~~

“Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.”

Helen Keller

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Merry Christmas my friend

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.

Burton Hillis

 ! carolling

Today is Christmas Eve and a special day for our family as we will continue a tradition we started about forty years ago when for the first time we dined with our next door neighbors on the night before Christmas. We have been doing so every year since, even though we no longer are neighbors. They have become part of our extended family and we now share the spirit with three generations of our combined families each year.

There will be no Daily tomorrow as we will spend the day with our immediate family enjoying each other as we get to again realize that the greatest gift we receive each year is the love we feel for each other. If I recover from all the food and celebration I will return on Friday. I hope all our readers without regard to their religion will join me in appreciation of those who give us the gift of their friendship.

Here is a story I would like to share with you, it was written by Joseph M. Rebeck and describes the real value of what we have to give.

The Perfect Christmas Gift

As a young child I can always remember running down the steps on Christmas morning and looking around the tree for the biggest box. I always believed that within the biggest box lied the most expensive gift and best gift. But as time works its magic on the mind and soul of a young man, I soon realized that each and every gift was special, unique, and meaningful.

In fact, those presents that I remember most are the gifts that came directly from the heart, such as one of my mother’s handmade sweaters or scarves. Christmas truly is not about the gift itself, but rather the thought behind the gift!

This Christmas I have already been blessed to receive the most beautiful and amazing present in the world, my girlfriend Angela. But I know the true meaning of Christmas is found in the word “giving.” So, this Christmas I promised myself to search and find the most incredible gift for this most incredible girl.

I spent many days searching the crowded stores and scanning numerous holiday catalogs, but nothing seemed to stand out. As Christmas quickly approached I wondered if I would ever find that “perfect” gift. I decided to try the local mall one last time. Maybe I had missed a store or new merchandize had just hit the racks and shelves.

But as I quietly passed from one store to the next, nothing attracted my eye. Somewhat defeated, I slowly made my way to the mall exit. But before I could reach the doors, I suddenly found that “perfect” gift. No, this gift was not found in a fancy and expensive department store. It will not be wrapped in pretty Christmas paper and adorned with ribbons and bows. Actually, this gift doesn’t have a receipt and can’t be taken back.

So, where did I find this “perfect” gift and more importantly what is it? I found it in the eyes of an elderly couple holding hands, I heard it in the playful words between a grandfather and grandson, and I saw it in the actions of a proud new mother. Yes, the gift is LOVE.

~~~

Every gift which is given, even though is be small, is in reality great, if it is given with affection.

Pindar

~~~

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?”

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”

~~~

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday(tm), practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2015, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “AMERICA” in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

~~~

All I Need To Know I Learned From Santa

  1. Encourage people to believe in you.
  2. Always remember who’s naughty and who’s nice.
  3. Don’t pout.
  4. It’s as much fun to give as it is to receive.
  5. Some days it’s ok to feel a little chubby.
  6. Make your presents known.
  7. Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want.
  8. Bright red can make anyone look good.
  9. Wear a wide belt and no-one will notice how many pounds you’ve gained.
  10. If you only show up once a year, everyone will think you’re very important.
  11. Whenever you’re at a loss for words, say “HO, HO, HO!”

~~~

Until one feels the spirit of Christmas, there is no Christmas. All else is outward display–so much tinsel and decorations. For it isn’t the holly, it isn’t the snow. It isn’t the tree not the firelight’s glow. It’s the warmth that comes to the hearts of men when the Christmas spirit returns again.

~~~

Christmas is forever, not for just one day,

for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away

like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box upon a shelf.

The good you do for others is good you do yourself…

Norman Wesley Brook

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Mr Miller Inspires

“Dress yourself in the silks of benevolence because kindness makes you beautiful.”

Richelle E. Goodrich

 ! benevolence

This time of year always seems to take my mind to a pleasant place. Possibly it is my Kiwanis Club helping kids buy winter clothes for Christmas or the many friends who are ringing bells in the cold for the Salvation Army and the warm wishes of so many of my friends that help generate hope and good feelings. Whatever it is it provides the mental climate that helps me understand the value of the simple good things we all can do for someone else and especially for ourselves. A few years ago my friend Judy who lives in another city sent me a story that always moves me, I am pleased to share it with you now.

On a clear day during the waning years of the depression in a small Idaho community, I used to stop by Mr. Miller’s roadside stand for farm fresh produce as the season made it available. Food and money were still extremely scarce and bartering was used extensively. One day Mr. Miller was bagging some early potatoes for me. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a basket of freshly picked green peas. I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn’t help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller and the ragged boy next to me. “Hello Barry, how are you today?”

“H’lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus’ admirin’ them peas … sure look good.”

“They are good, Barry. How’s your Ma?”

“Fine. Gittin’ stronger alla’ time.”

“Good. Anything I can help you with?”

“No, Sir. Jus’ admirin’ them peas.”

“Would you like to take some home?”

“No, Sir. Got nuthin’ to pay for ’em with.”

“Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?”

“All I got’s my prize marble here.”

“Is that right? Let me see it.”

“Here ’tis. She’s a dandy.”

“I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?”

“Not zackley … but almost.”

“Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble.”

“Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.”

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile she said, “There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn’t like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, perhaps.” I left the stand smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering.

Several years went by, each more rapid that the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his viewing that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could. Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts. All very professional looking. walked slowly up to Mrs. Miller who was standing next to her husband’s casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes. Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and mentioned  the story she had told me about the marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took  my hand and led me to the casket. “Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim “traded” them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size, they came to pay their debt.” “We’ve never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,” she confided, “but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho.” With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds.  Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

~~~

A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.

Charles H. Spurgeon

~~~

A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man’s hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.

The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, “And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention…”

~~~

“Waiters in New York are now threatening to go on strike.  Apparently, they have a union of nothing but waiters. Isn’t that the Screen Actors Guild?”

Jay Leno

~~~

Answering Machine Messages

Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

This is not an answering machine — this is a telepathic thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

This is the refrigerator. The answering machine is busy right now, but if you leave a message I will stick it to myself with a cow magnet.

 ~~~

What is the essence of being human? Not understanding the opposite gender.

~~~

She told me that as a single, never-married woman in her 40s, she have been questioned endlessly about her status by her friends, relatives, and co-workers. Over the years, she noticed a subtle change in the nature of their inquiries.

In my teens, friends would ask, “Who are you going out with this weekend?”

In my 20s, relatives would say, “Who are you dating?”

In my 30s, co-workers might inquire, “So, are you dating anyone yet?”

Now people ask, “Where did you get that adorable purse?”

~~~

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.

Meister Eckhart

~~~

Paul was in his mid-60s and had just retired. He was planning to landscape his yard and was trying to find some small shrubs or trees. Burleigh, a 90-year-old from across the street offered Paul some white-ash saplings that were about a 3 feet tall. Paul asked, “How long will it take them to be full grown?”

“Twenty years or so,” replied Burleigh.

“No good for me, then,” said Paul, “I won’t be around that long.”

The 90-year-old shook his head and replied, “We’ll miss ya!”

~~~

Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.

Seneca

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Join Me?

“A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.”

Washington Irving

 ! act of kindness

Here we are, Christmas week, even if you are not a Christian the concept of Peace on Earth and Goodwill towards Man is what our world needs today. Let us do our part by focusing on practicing kindness this week. If we can demonstrate to others through our actions that there is something special about doing something for others instead of standing back while so many practice animosity at least our place in the world will become a little brighter. I will linger here no longer so I can get about doing something for someone else. I hope your day will be as good as mine will be.

Here is a brief story that had meaning for me, I hope it will for you as well.

 How Kind and Generous Do We Have to Be?

Author: Walter E. Jacobson, MD

I was driving down Reseda Boulevard on my way home from work. I was stopped at a light. Two cars on a side street were waiting to merge into my lane. Wanting to be a nice guy, I waved at the driver of the first car, giving him the go-ahead to pull in front of me.

As he’s doing this, I’m thinking, “Okay, I did my social duty. I let one car in. Now it’s my turn. The next guy has to let the next person in. After all, fair is fair. The protocol for kindness in this circumstance, the agreed upon social convention is you let one car in and then you get to go. No harm, no foul.”

So, why was I feeling uncomfortable? Because I know that the path to my joy, my inner peace, and my prosperity is a path of generosity and compassion without judgment, evaluation, or conditions of any kind. I know that I have a choice now to be even kinder than I had just been, and that it’s really not in my best interests to resist that choice.

“Wouldn’t it be nice,” I told myself, “to just let the second car in also, right now, no fuss, no bother, will cost me a whole extra 5 seconds of my life, it would make things easier for the stranger in the other car, why not do it, what’s the big deal?”

I decided to let this second car into the lane in front of me. She smiled and thanked me, which felt really good, but that was the icing on the cake. I was feeling pretty good the moment I made the decision to put my ego away and just be kinder and more generous.

Certainly, there is no right or wrong in terms of how many cars we let into our lane. It’s not right or wrong to let no cars in. Legally, we have the right of way. The issue is, how do our decisions, our choices, make us feel about ourselves?

My decision to let the second car in made me feel great. I felt it represented progress in my releasing my ego’s resistance to being more caring, more sharing, more loving, more accepting and more forgiving. I felt it also represented progress in my role modeling behaviors reflecting greater courtesy and cooperation, which, if adopted by others, will strengthen the fabric of society.

Strengthening the fabric of society is nice but the main point is that by choosing to be kinder, more generous, more gracious and more respectful of others, above and beyond the standards we have set for ourselves, we will discover our world changing before our eyes, becoming more joyous and fragrant.

~~~

“Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”

Barbara de Angelis

~~~

No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Here’s how some young folk completed lines to famous Christmas carols. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites:

“On the first day of Christmas, my tulip gave to me …”

“Later on we’ll perspire, as we dream by the fire …”

“He’s makin a list, chicken and rice …”

“Sleep in heavenly peas …”

“In the meadow we can build a snowman … Then pretend that he is sparse and brown …”

“Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay …”

“Noel, noel … noel, noel … Barney’s the king of Israel …”

~~~

Two rules for success in life.

  1. Don’t tell people everything you know.

~~~

Effective immediately, the following economizing measures are being implemented in our “Twelve Days of Christmas” subsidiary:

1) The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance;

2) Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore, eliminated…doves are out;

3) The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French things;

4) The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked;

5) The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks, appear to be in order;

6) The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that, from now on, every goose it gets will be a good one;

7) The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times.  The function is primarily decorative. Shrimp ponds are on order. The current swans will be donated to county jails;

8) As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought.  The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility.  Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching;

9) Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps;

10) Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While Leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant as we Expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year;

11) Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of an out of date band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music, and no uniforms, will produce savings which will drop right to the bottom line;

Overall we can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship by UPS in one day, service levels will be improved.

Regarding the lawsuit filed by the Bar Association seeking expansion to include the legal profession (“thirteen lawyers-a-suing”), a decision is pending.

Deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to remain competitive.

Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize our Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs ..sleeping, sneezing, grumping, etc. are in line with our overall projections.

Your Management

~~~

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I am up and running

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

Michelangelo

 ! accomplishment

Only a few more days until Christmas and I have more than enough to keep me busy over the next week. I am glad that my chicken soup therapy coupled with a ridiculous amount of bed rest has cured my cold or at least made its last gasps tolerable.

Of course I am at the age where just getting going with some vigor is a god send. I am sure people are pleased that I get up so early that they never have to see me trying to start my engines. The good thing is once I get going I forget how old I am. When I get started I find each day has a lot to offer and I am glad I don’t have to miss much. What about you? Are your days all you want them to be? If not this edited article written by Keyara Alexandra may be worth your while.

 Tips to Boost Your Day

Each day is hard work. We have to get up, run here and then run there all while keeping a smile on our faces letting everyone know that we’re okay. Caring for ourselves? Ha! Who has time for that? While, I have to say that caring for myself is an uphill battle most days, the rewards I reap from loving me are exceptional! Here are a few tips to give yourself a boost on any given Monday.

Start with positive thoughts.

Wake up. Snooze. Groan. Snooze. Wake up 20 minutes later and curse yourself on the way out the door. Does this sound familiar? How does cursing yourself serve you? Forgiveness is not just for outsiders, but for you too. Make room for forgiveness when you make little mistakes. No one will die if you’re a little late, and your day will be a lot better.

Treat yourself like you want to be treated.

Do you notice that we save our nicest demeanor and grace for strangers and elders but sometimes treat our friends and families with carelessness? That’s bad enough but it doesn’t stop there. We save our worst criticism, our meanest self for our very own. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend or elder, then don’t say it to yourself. It isn’t constructive, and it isn’t helping so stop being mean to you.

Acknowledge greatness.

Whenever someone is rude to us we often wish that we can let them know how rude they are. We have this incredible urge to tell negative people where to go and how to get there. Try this: when someone rubs you the right way, and leaves a positive feeling with you, don’t let it go unsaid! It truly takes little effort to tell someone they’re awesome and that act will reflect positive vibes onto you as well.

Be grateful.

Think about something you’re truly grateful for. Sit with it. Relish in it….now try and be negative about something. You can’t.

Talk to your inner child.

Approach life like a kid sometimes because these guys are the true fun experts. We would all be better at life if we retapped in to the expertise that we all have had before. Life really isn’t as serious as a lot of us try to make it.

Dance.

Or sing. Or run out into the rain. Get out of your comfort zone in a silly way and watch your days soar.

Accept your gift!

The present is a gift and truly the only moment you have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is never coming, sorry. You owe it to yourself to create your own happiness in each day. Happiness is not this fleeting thing, but a manifestation of your thoughts.

~~~

There is a real magic in enthusiasm. It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

“And you tell me several men proposed marriage to you,” said the husband.

“Yes, several,” the wife replied.

“Well I wish you had married the first fool who proposed.”

“I did.”

~~~

If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?

~~~

The following are actual medical records taken from patients charts around North America.

* The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

* Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

* Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

* I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

* Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

* She is numb from her toes down.

* The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

* The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

* Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

* Patient was alert and unresponsive.

~~~

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions that your wife asks for nothing.

~~~

The applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to fill out the application.  The salesman asked what the trouble was, and the man said that he couldn’t answer the question about the cause of death of his father. The salesman wanted to know why.  After some embarrassment the client explained that his father had been hanged.

The salesman pondered for a moment.  “Just write: ‘Father was taking part in a public function when the platform gave way.'”

~~~

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

~~~

Her definitions:

ARGUMENT (ar*gyou*ment)n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.

AIRHEAD (er*hed)n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

CANTALOUPE (kant*e*lope)n. Gotta get married in a church.

CLOTHES DRYER (kloze dri*yer)n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

DIET SODA (dy*it so*da)n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

ETERNITY (e*ter*ni*tee)n. The last two minutes of a football game.

EXERCISE (ex*er*siz)v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

HAIR DRESSER (hare dres*er)n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again.

~~~

I seriously feel like the best days are ahead, and I like the idea of getting to do everything I did before but with more knowledge, experience, and street smarts. There’s a certain love, appreciation, and gratitude that you have at 40 that you don’t have when you’re younger, and it makes every accomplishment feel so much better.

Jennifer Lopez

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

The countdown has begun

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.

Charles R. Swindoll

 ! Family

Good morning everyone. The good news is that my wife is back home after her short hospital stay and is doing well. The bad news is that I am fighting a nasty winter cold that coupled with the annual holiday countdown has drained my energy. I will miss my work out again this morning and substitute more bed rest as well as send you another past issue of the Daily. Stay well, do well and have fun I hope to be back with a new Daily tomorrow.

 Ray’s Daily First published on Thursday December 18, 2003

My grandchildren have grown to be young adults in the eleven years since this was written and they are still our pride and joy.

~~~

We are one week away from Christmas today. Our grandchildren, like so many other kids have begun the pre-Christmas countdown. It is a time filled with school and church pageants, and a time filled with anticipation and excitement. To some extent I think we adults have overdone it. In days gone by our Christmases were filled with good fellowship, good food, and family get-togethers. We did not have a lot of presents, but what we did have were special and lasted throughout our youth. Today it seems that is quantity as well as quality that count. Children, like us, are caught up in a whirlwind of technology and the need to have the latest. Computer games become obsolete almost at the point of purchase, there will be a new super special game platform out soon, that will render the one they have now out of fashion and no fun anymore. You can’t play without the right shoes, go out without the right jacket, and so on. I begrudge them nothing, for it is we adults who are responsible. We demonstrate the same behavior, be it the car we buy, our latest computer upgrade, a dinner at prestige restaurant, the list goes on and on. Many of us with income, maybe a little wealth and lots of credit cards seem to think that score is kept not by what we do, but by what we have. It is sad to me that so much of it is just our adult toys of the moment, soon to be tossed aside for the next thing. I often wonder if the nostalgia expressed by my generation is about the real things out of our past or out of our imagination, but no matter, in our minds life was a lot simpler, friends a lot closer, and our things more dear.

But that is enough of Christmas past. We all have much to be thankful for and much to celebrate. I know I am more fortunate than most, as the gifts I have been given are the things I have been allowed to do; a family that is near and dear; and a wide group of people like you, my friends and  acquaintances, and those of you that I know only through this daily. People come and go in our lives, but like the Christmas gifts we cherished as a child, they all live on in our memories. Happy Holidays.

~~~

God gave us our memories so that we might have roses in December.

J.M. Barrie

~~~

Dear Diary…

For my 65th birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great  shape since playing on my college football team 25  years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go  ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress………….

Monday:

Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but and it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile.  Woo Hoo!  Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill.

She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today.  Very inspiring. Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

Tuesday:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air-then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It’s a whole new life for me.

Wednesday:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.  My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life.  She said some other crap too.

Thursday:

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men’s room. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine – which I sank.

Friday:

I hate that Belinda more that any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.  Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the *&%#(#&**!! @*@ barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which I am sure you learned in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude from.) The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

Saturday:

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

Sunday:

I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my wife will choose a gift for me that is fun – like a root canal or a vasectomy.

~~~

A young person knows the rules but the old person knows the exceptions.

~~~

A witness is testifying before the court, and the prosecuting attorney is asking him questions. “You witnessed the robbery, sir?”

“Yes” “What was stolen?” “Two televisions” “Did you see the thieves?”

“Yes” “Could you identify them?” “Yes”

“Are the two men who stole the televisions in this courtroom?” At this point, the two defendants raised their hands.

~~~

Some can trace their family back 300 years, but can’t tell you where their children are tonight.

Lawrence Brotherton

~~~

The Hebrew school teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little David interrupted.

“My Mommy looked back once while she was DRIVING,” he announced triumphantly, “and she turned into a telephone pole!”

~~~

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

William Allen White

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Enjoy the season

Seasons Greetings

Nancy & Ray

xmas pictue

Hi everyone, my wife has recovered and is doing well thanks for caring. I am off to do husband like duties so here we go again, a Daily from yesteryear.

 Rays Daily first published on:

December 17, 2001

Is my son’s birthday today. I remember when I was 20 times older than he was, now I am not even twice his age. I don’t think it is a case of him speeding up, but rather of me slowing down.

~~~

It was on this day near Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, that Orville and Wilbur Wright made the first successful flight in history of a self-propelled, heavier-than-air aircraft. Orville piloted the gasoline-powered, propeller-driven biplane, which stayed aloft for 12 seconds and covered 120 feet on its inaugural flight. While the flight was a lot quicker than non-stops these days, I understand that the on-board service was really poor.

~~~

The Doctor says “You’ll live to be 60!” “I AM 60!” “See, what did I tell you?”

Henny Youngman

~~~

The kids tell us:

PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER:

“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” (Ava, 8)

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU:

“Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” (Del, 6)

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” (Alonzo, 9)

“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” (Bart, 9)

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE ?

“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” (John, 9)

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” (Brad, 8)

“It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like their hearts are on fire.” (Christine, 9)

~~~

If at first you don’t succeed, you’ll get a lot of unsolicited advice.

Frank G. McInnis

~~~

She said:

Because I’m a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I’m a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I’m a man, I don’t think we’re all that lost, and no, I don’t think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger — I mean, how the hell could he know where we’re going?

~~~

An alibi is the legal proof that a person wasn’t where he was and, therefore, couldn’t do what he did.

~~~

“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her roommate.

“Terrible!” the roommate answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”

“Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What’s so bad about that?”

“He was the original owner.”

~~~

A psychiatrist was trying to comfort a new patient who was terribly upset. “You see, Doc,” the patient explained, “my problem is that I like shoes much better than I like boots.”

“Why, that’s no problem,” answered the doctor. “Most people like shoes better than boots.”

The patient was elated, “That’s neat, Doc. How do you like them, fried or scrambled?”

~~~

The Face Is Familiar But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name

~~~

The British Military writes officer fitness reports. The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are ACTUAL EXCERPTS taken from people’s “206’s”….

– His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

– I would not breed from this Officer.

– This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t-be.

– When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

– He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

– He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

– Technically sound, but socially impossible.

– This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope – always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

– This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

– When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.

– Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

– She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

– He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

– This Officer should go far – and the sooner he starts, the better.

– In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

– This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

– The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

– Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

~~~

You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

~~~

A busy mother sometimes accidentally left pots and pans on the stove with the burners on, so she resorted to posting this reminder on the kitchen door: “STOVE?”

Her daughter, back from college, noticed Mother’s sign. Beneath it she taped her reply: “No — DOOR! Trust me. I went to college.”

~~~

The Earth Is Full – Go Home

~~~

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like everything, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden. After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him…

“Lets see yer fishin’ license, Boy!!” the Warden gasped.

With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

“Well, son,” said the Game Warden, “you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don’t have to run from me if you have a valid license!”

“Yes, sir,” replied the young feller, “But my friend back there, well, he don’t have one…”

~~~

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” ~ Wendell Johnson

~~~

“Prayer is asking for rain,

And faith is carrying the umbrella.”

Barbara Johnson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.