Ray's musings and humor

Archive for August, 2020

Doing our best

Ray’s Daily

August 31, 2020

http://rays-dily.com

“Live fully, have fun.

Be crazy, be weird, go out & screw up!

Don’t try to be perfect.

Just be an excellent example of being human.

Enjoy life.”

Fun

Sorry I missed doing the Daily last Thursday and Friday. Between appointmenta ans visits to my wife, I could not get my act together. Here is another reprint.

Ray’s Daily firpublished on August 31. 2007

Enjoy life.”

I got the above quote from my friend Marci’s Yahoo 360 Blog. I think it is right on target, especially after the lunch I had today with a friend. She shared with me her intense and important activities that took place this past week, bottom-line was that she was professionally on stage doing work that was very important to her association every minute of every day. It had been a high energy effort that concentrated on a wide range of needs both to her organization and to our community. You could tell she was ready for a break. 

Fortunately we have a three day holiday weekend coming up and then she is off to Paris midweek to visit family and friends. Her job requires perfection, or as close to perfection as possible, now hopefully she will wind down, throw her hat in the air and holler “screw perfection” I am going to have some fun. 

Each of us needs to take the pressure off ourselves once in awhile and set aside time to just enjoy life and be who we are not. No rules, other than not hurting anyone. So who do you want to be? Pick somebody, be her or him for an evening, a day or even a weekend. I think if you do you will find drinking Champaign from a flute, with candles all around you in your sunken bathtub is really not bad, not bad at all.  

One caution though, when you’re doing all of this don’t make too much noise, I really don’t like to be woken up from my naps.

~~~

“Fear less, hope more;

Whine less, breathe more;

Talk less, say more;

Hate less, love more;

And all good things are yours.”

 Swedish Proverb

~~~

One night a fellow drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily.

The next night the man and his wife were driving to a res- taurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat. Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car.

With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That’s when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat. “Honey,” she asked, “have you seen my other shoe?”

~~~

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

~~~

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination.

Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. “Miss Smith,” he said finally, “it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination.”

~~~

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

Lao Tzu

~~~

It has been an interesting week in the Stock Market, I thought you could use this dictionary:

Momentum Investing – The fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value Investing – The art of buying low and selling lower.

Broker – Poorer than you were in 2006.

P/E ratio – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market keeps crashing.

Standard & Poor – Your life in a nutshell.

Stock Analyst – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Bull Market – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market – A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.

Stock split – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

Financial Planner – A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.

Market Correction – The day after you buy stocks.

Cash Flow – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Call Option – Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.

Institutional Investor – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nut house.

Profit – Religious guy who talks to God.

~~~

Woman shopping for wallpaper to clerk: “Now we’re getting somewhere.

That’s the exact opposite of what I’m looking for.”

~~~

One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.”

After dinner, William’s dad took him aside. “Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years.. She’s a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I’m afraid you can’t marry her.”

William was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, “Dianne said yes! We’re getting married in June.”

Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. “Dianne is your half-sister too, William. I’m awfully sorry about this.”

William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news.

“Dad has done so much harm. I guess I’m never going to get married,” he complained. “Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister.”

His mother just shook her head. “Don’t pay any attention to what he says, dear. He’s not really your father.”

~~~

The reason 30+ year old women get carded is because the cashiers and bag-boys make bets on how OLD you really are and someone has to find out. They know you would lie if they asked you.

~~~

A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, “You know, honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son.”

“Well, thank heaven,” said the wife, “at least our James has nothing standing in his way.”

~~~

Slow down and enjoy life.

It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast

you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.

Eddie Cantor

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

What do you see?

Ray’s Daily

August 26, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“You must not know too much or be too precise or scientific about birds and trees and flowers and watercraft; a certain free-margin, and even vagueness – ignorance, credulity – helps your enjoyment of these things.”

Henry David Thoreau

children

I am a little under the weather today so here is another reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on August 26, 2006

~~~

This morning I started off thinking about how we might enjoy this weekend. As I stumbled around the internet gathering my thoughts I came upon the above quote from Thoreau. In a way it is counter to so much that is ingrained in us, our inbred need to use our intellect to understand the science of all we see. I am glad that there are those like Thoreau who offer more. As I thought about it I realized that I, like many others, value feeling more than an intellectual understanding of what I see.

I recently attended an art seminar where there was much discussion about the art that was displayed. I felt very uncomfortable as others worked to understand through what they saw, what the artist felt, what techniques he used and the underlying meaning of it all. They we so into the science and the precise details that I felt they could not see the painting. And I was basking in the feelings triggered by what I saw others missed a great opportunity for enjoyment.

Maybe we should spend this weekend role-playing a five year old child. Let us leave behind all they have taught us and see the world with unfiltered eyes. Let us be overwhelmed with the color of the garden and the smell of a rose. Let us lie on the grass and watch the sky as it puts on its daily show. Lets walk hand in hand just seeing and feeling. Let us especially notice the faces of the people we see, the smiles, the tears, the rosy cheeks of the child, and the earned wrinkles of the elderly. I might even stop for a minute and imagine what the life behind the face has been. And you know what? We don’t have to be right and we don’t have to know chemical composition of what we see. It is not important if what we think is accurate or what it all means, for everything we let ourselves feel will be right, maybe for some of us more right than things have been in a long time.

So break out your coloring books, lie on the rug with me and color a few pages before we go out to visit the land of Peter Pan.

~~~

“The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things.”

Plato

~~~

You Know Your Life Sucks When…

A black cat crosses your path and drops dead.

You take an assertiveness training course and you’re afraid to tell your wife.

The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

You have to take out a loan just to get money to make the first payment.

Your children’s school calls to surrender.

The bride’s family throws rocks instead of rice.

Your wife wraps your lunch in a road map.

Your plants do better when you *don’t* talk to them.

~~~

“The trouble with weather forecasting is that it’s right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.”

Patrick Young

~~~

Over breakfast recently, my sister said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.”

“Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, as he went out the door, heading to the office.

At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when my Sis opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses.

At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived.

Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.

My sister couldn’t wait for her husband to come home. “First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!” she exclaimed.

Then grinning like a Cheshire cat, said, “I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!”

~~~

“Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.”

George Burns

~~~

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A MOM WHEN…

* Your feet stick to grape jelly on the kitchen floor–and you don’t care.

* When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone’s bleeding.

* You can’t find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.

* Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.

* Popsicle’s become a food staple.

* Your favorite television show is a cartoon.

* You’re willing to kiss your child’s boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on.

* You’re so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!

* Spit is your number one cleaning agent.

* You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.

* You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.

* You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

* You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

* Your kid throws up and you catch it.

* You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; but your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun anyway.

* You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet … you still managed to gain 10 pounds.

~~~

“On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.”

Tom Lehrer

~~~

A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn’t care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character.

Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence.

The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in common — they were both pathological liars.

~~~

Never put off until tomorrow what you can forget about forever.

~~~

One night recently, my phone rang several times throughout the evening. Each time, a woman’s voice asked for Ben. Each time I politely explained that I lived alone, my name wasn’t Ben, and she had a wrong number. The fifth time she called, I had had enough.

“Hello”? I said.

“Can I speak to Ben, please”?

I replied, “I’m sorry, he’s not in right now. Can I take a message”?

“Do you know what time he’ll be back”? she responded.

“I think he said he’d be home around 10:00.”

Silence on the other end…a confused silence.

“Is this Steve”?

“Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben”?

“Well, he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him,” she said in a slightly irritated voice.

I replied, “Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago and said that he would be back at 10:00.”

A shocked voice now, “Who’s Karen”?

“The girl he went out with.”

“I know that! I mean…who is she”?

“I don’t know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben”?

“Yes. Please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home.”

She was sounding pretty irate at this point. “I sure will. Is this Jennifer”?

She exploded, “Who’s Jennifer”? Apparently she wasn’t.

“Well, he’s going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry, it was an honest mistake.”

“Ben’s the one that’s made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and that she’s very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home.”

I smiled and said, “Okay, I will, but Becky isn’t going to like this…”

~~~

One night recently, my phone rang several times throughout the evening. Each time, a woman’s voice asked for Ben. Each time I politely explained that I lived alone, my name wasn’t Ben, and she had a wrong number. The fifth time she called, I had had enough.

“Hello”? I said.

“Can I speak to Ben, please”?

I replied, “I’m sorry, he’s not in right now. Can I take a message”?

“Do you know what time he’ll be back”? she responded.

“I think he said he’d be home around 10:00.”

Silence on the other end…a confused silence.

“Is this Steve”?

“Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben”?

“Well, he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him,” she said in a slightly irritated voice.

I replied, “Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago and said that he would be back at 10:00.”

A shocked voice now, “Who’s Karen”?

“The girl he went out with.”

“I know that! I mean…who is she”?

“I don’t know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben”?

“Yes. Please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home.”

She was sounding pretty irate at this point. “I sure will. Is this Jennifer”?

She exploded, “Who’s Jennifer”? Apparently she wasn’t.

“Well, he’s going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry, it was an honest mistake.”

“Ben’s the one that’s made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and that she’s very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home.”

I smiled and said, “Okay, I will, but Becky isn’t going to like this…”

~~~

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.

Confucius

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

Life is not always easy

Ray’s Daily

August 25, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“Love is a friendship set to music.”

Joseph Campbell

Loving

Yesterday my children and I met with the staff of the medical rehab center where my wife is now located. We learned that she is not responding well to therapy and may have to move to long term care. The news is somewhat devastating for being separated after our 67 years of married life is difficult. I know that she is getting and will get better care than I could give her, but each day I miss my life long companion. At least we are in the same facility and I can visit her daily.

Recently one of my grand sons wrote a poem for his brothers wedding. I am reprinting in below as it reflects the feelings I have.

        Our Love is a River

 Our love is not a place, for places change.

It’s not a moment, for moments pass.

It’s not a memory, for memories fade.

Our love is a river.

 

A river, like love, flows day after day,

Year after year,

Age after age.

It cuts the rock and clay at its bank,

Shapes it,

Deepens it,

Widens it.

In time, our love will cut a canyon deep,

Dividing mountains,

Etching stone and moving all before its path.

 

In days of joy, our river is a torrent,

A rushing current that roars and crashes among the rocks,

But, at times, our river may slow.

We may even see its drying bed,

But we know that the rains will come,

Brought on by forgiveness,

Patience,

Kindness

And sacrifice.

 

No matter the season of our love,

We are a river that never stops, never lingers, never stagnates.

We are always moving, always learning.

We cannot see what is around the next bank

Or over the next hill,

But we flow, knowing that when our journey has ended,

Our river will converge with the vast ocean of love

That is shared by our family, friends and all who came before us.

 

Our river may have a new beginning,

But its path stretches out beyond the horizon,

In a vastness only the heart can anticipate,

And as we flow,

We flow ferociously,

Delicately,

Undeniably.

~~~

“Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.”

Rainer Maria Rilke

~~~

We need to stay positive

~~~

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out for another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk rejection.

To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love.

Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.

He has forfeited his freedom.

Only a person who takes risks is free.

Dr. Leo Buscaglia

I think civility dies a little every day when we ourselves accept the incivility of others. Too many of us don’t want to take the risk that someone else may not agree with us so we tolerate invective and the diatribes of others. Courtesy and civility is a much better way to live, the others may not appreciate it but you will. And, oh by the way, thanks for listening, I appreciate it.

Ray

~~~

“Friends are helpful not only because they will listen to us, but because they will laugh at us; Through them we learn a little objectivity, a little modesty, a little courtesy; We learn the rules of life and become better players of the game”

Will Durant

~~~

Diary of her six day Alaskan cruise.

DEAR DIARY … DAY ONE

I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship.  I’ve  packed all my pretty dresses and make-up. I’m really  excited.

DEAR DIARY … DAY TWO

We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and I saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY … DAY THREE

I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffleboarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful  time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.

DEAR DIARY .. DAY FOUR

Went to the ship’s casino … did OK … won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state  room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY .. DAY FIVE

Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside.  The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a  charming gentleman.  He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn’t let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled.

DEAR DIARY … DAY SIX

I saved 1600 lives today .. twice !!!!

~~~

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you… I could walk through my garden forever.”

Alfred Tennyson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I Moved On

Ray’s Daily

August 24, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.

A.A. Milne

a new place

Not that long ago I thought I would live as I always had, staying in our home. I would be as fit and capable as I always had been. My sight would remain, as would my hearing. Then my aging took me to a new place. I have left where I was incapable of doing what I use to do,

I have found that the best thing was accepting that I am in a new place and it has been time to adjust to a new life, one that has much to offer. So I have left the past and am living in my new future.

Ray’s Daily first published on August 25, 2003

I said then: The world news continues to get worse. I wish it didn’t. It seems like we don’t know what to do, a miracle would help. So like they say, when things get tough, the tough get going, so I am going to Florida Wednesday morning. I want to see if they have better news there.

~~~

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round

or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? 

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight

or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

Do you run through each day on the fly?

When you ask “How are you?” Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed

with the next hundred chores running through your head? 

Ever told your child, “We’ll do it tomorrow.”

And in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die?

Just call to say “Hi”?

When you worry and hurry through your day,

it is like an unopened gift….Thrown away…

Life is not a race. Take it slower.

Hear the music before the song is over.

~~~

Patience in the present, faith in the future, and joy in the doing

George Perera

~~~

Sam Cohen, father of 3 and faithful husband for over 40 years, unexpectedly drops dead one day. His lawyer informs his widow that Stu Schwartz, Sam’s best friend since childhood, is to be executor of the will. The day comes to divide Sam’s earthly possessions, over a million dollars’ worth. In front of Sam’s family, Stu reads the will:

“Stu, if you’re reading this, then I must be dead. You’ve were such a good friend for so long, how can I ignore you in this will? On the other hand, there are my beloved Sophie and my children to be looked after. Stu, I know you can make sure my family is taken care of properly. So Stu, give what you want to her and take the rest for yourself.” Stu then looks at the survivors and tells them that, in accordance with Sam’s instructions, Stu will give fifty thousand dollars to Sam’s widow. The rest he is retaining for himself.

The family is beside itself. “This is impossible! Forty years of marriage and then *this*?!  It can’t be!” So the family sues. Their day in court arrives, and after testimony from both sides, the judge gives his verdict: “To Stuart Schwartz, I award fifty thousand dollars of the contested money. The remainder shall go to Sophie Cohen, widow of the deceased.”

Needless to say, the family is elated, but Stu is dumbfound. “Your honor, how can you do this? The will made Sam’s wishes quite clear: ‘Give what you want to her and take the rest for yourself!’  I wanted the lion’s share! What gives?”

The judge answered back, “Mr. Schwartz, Sam Cohen knew you his whole life. He wanted to give you something in gratitude. He also wanted to see his family taken care of. So he drew up his will accordingly. But you misread his instructions. You see, Sam knew just what kind of a person you are, so with his family’s interest in mind, he didn’t say, “Give what you want to her and keep the rest for yourself.’  No. What Sam said was, “Give what YOU want to HER; and keep the rest for yourself.”

~~~

Q: What do you instantly know when you see a well-dressed husband?

A: His wife is good at choosing his clothes.

~~~

Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen crying out loud.

“What’s the matter, darling?” he asked her.

“I just don’t know what to do,” said Miriam. “Because we were eating in for a change, I cooked us a special dinner – but the dog has just eaten it.”

“Don’t worry,” said Howard, “I’ll get us another dog.”

~~~

Sign spotted in a toilet in a London office block:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

~~~

Stan was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Stan answered.

“I’d like to talk to your mother or father,” she said.

“Sorry, but they ain’t here.”

“Stan!” she said, “what is it with your grammar?”

“Beats me,” he replied, “but dad sure was mad that they had t’go bail her out again!”

~~~

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:

either the car or his wife is new.

~~~

Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight? You’re going out?

Yes. With whom? With a friend.

I don’t know why you left your husband. He is such a good man. I didn’t leave him. He left me!

You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybody and nobody. I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?

I never left you to go out with anybody except your father. There are lots of things that you did and I don’t.

What are you hinting at? Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.

You’re going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?

My EX husband. I don’t think he would be bothered.  From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!

So you’re going to sleep over at this loser’s place? He’s not a loser.

A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.

I don’t want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not? Poor children with such a mother.

Such as what? With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.

ENOUGH !!

Don’t scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too! Now you’re worried about the loser?

Ah, so you see he’s a loser. I spotted him immediately.

Goodbye, mother.

Wait! Don’t hang up! When are you bringing them over?

I’m not bringing them over! I’m not going out!

If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?

~~~

“The most wonderful thing about miracles is that they sometimes happen.”

G.K. Chesterson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

Our families big day

Ray’s Daily

August 21, 2020

Http://rays-daily.com

“If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth.”

Mitsugi Saotome

wedding

Today is a big day in our family. Our oldest grandson is getting married to one of the nicest women I have ever met. She is a great additionto our family. The ceremony is being held in Michigan and Nancy and I cannot bethere. Nancy is still in the Rehab facility and I am pretty much limited to our senior livingfacility.

Ray’s Daily first published on August 21, 2008

I could not resist using Saotome’s quote today since I feel so strongly about our recognizing how important we are to each other. It is not only the pleasure of sharing something we hold dear with another it is also how we compliment each other and benefit from the interaction. In fact if the truth be told we need each other.

As an example an Engineer and I were talking this morning about how we and others handle criticism and correction. We both agreed that it does us no good at all to defend our beliefs without hearing why someone else thinks we are wrong. In fact I said I like being wrong, I don’t mean I jump for joy when I am mistaken, what I mean is that when someone offers me information that shows I am in wrong I will have learned something and not continue to misinform. We all know people who continue along fat dumb and happy without stopping to verify their chosen truths, I would much rather stop and listen and make corrections and move on based on what I learned.

Have you noticed that the misguided are misguided, I mean you never know where they are going to end up and when they get there they wonder what happened. So my friends I want you to know that I am the guy who stops and asks for directions, not because I am so smart but rather because I realize I really don’t have all the answers. You can do me a favor though, when you point out that I said something stupid, be kind, after all I am the resident old guy!

~~~

“We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”

~~~

Immutable Facts

When one wishes to unlock a door but has only one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von Fumbles Law)

A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale Law of Destiny)

When one’s hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of Ichiban)

Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance So Sorry Law)

When things seem to be going well, you’ve probably forgotten to do something. (Cheney’s Second Corollary)

When things seem easy to do, it’s because you haven’t followed all the instructions. (Destiny Awaits Law)

If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it’s probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem. (Law of Gravitas)

Most problems are not created or solved; they only change appearances. (Einstein’s Law of Persistence)

You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of Dingaling)

Whenever you connect with the Internet, the call you’ve been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of Bellsouth)

If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of Wasteland)

~~~

“My Dad used to say ‘always fight fire with fire’, which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire department.”

Harry Hill

~~~

Jim needs a job, and has no qualms about inventing the necessary qualifications. He reasons that once he finds work, he will impress the boss so much that everything will be forgiven.

After a successful initial interview at the Encyclopedia of American History, he is called back to meet the sales manager.

“You say you have experience selling books?”

“Lots of it,” replies Jim.

“And you have a Master’s in American history from the University of Michigan?”

“Correct,” replies Jim. “History is my field of study.”

“Well then,” says the sales manager, “As soon as I can complete this form, we can get you started in the firm.”

While the sales manager is making a few notations, Jim, obviously pleased with himself, begins to whistle. Looking around the room, he notices pictures of Washington and Lincoln on the walls.

Pointing to the portraits, he turns to the sales manager and says, “Fine looking men. Your partners?”

~~~

She asked: My husband has suggested a candlelight dinner at home for our anniversary. Is he being romantic or just cheap?

~~~

When the heir to the Rothschild fortune visited a poor Jewish village near Budapest, the locals poured out to greet him. With all due ceremony, he was given a small parade, met with the mayor, and awarded a key to the city.

At the local inn, he ordered some roast chicken for brunch. When he finished, he received a bill larger than the most expensive bottle of wine his family sold.

“This is outrageous!” Rothschild shouted at the innkeeper. “Never in my life have I been charged so much for a roast chicken! Are chickens that rare around here?”

“Not at all,” said the innkeeper reassuringly. “But millionaires — ah, they are a rarity!”

~~~

I am always doing things I can’t do, that’s how I get to do them.

Pablo Picasso

~~~

Billy’s dad was away on a business trip. So he wanted to sleep with his mother. The first night she refused. The second night she refused again. On the third night she decided to let him lay there for a while and take him to bed when he fell asleep.

So Billy put on his pajamas and jumped into bed on his father’s side. With both his hands behind his head, he said to his mother just before she fell asleep: “With Christmas approaching, don’t you think it would be a good idea if we buy Billy a bicycle?”

~~~

When you walk with wise men, you will become wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed.

Proverbs 13:20

~~~

My 17-year-old niece asked me if she could use my name as a reference on her resume, which she planned to submit to a local fast food restaurant. I agreed.

A few days later, she called and asked me to meet her at the restaurant later that afternoon. When I asked her why, she replied, “The manager wants me to come in for an interview and she told me to bring my references.”

~~~

The main trouble with mental notes is the ink fades so fast

~~~

A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. “I’m here to fix the leaky pipe,” he announced.

“I didn’t call a plumber,” said the lady.

“What?” huffed the plumber. “Aren’t you Mrs. Snyder?”

The Snyders moved out of this house over a year ago,” explained the lady.

“How do you like that?” grunted the plumber. “They call you up and tell you it’s an emergency and then they move away!”

~~~

Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.

He can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.

Epictetus

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

We are doing what we can

Ray’s Daily

August 19 & 20, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.”

Nelson Mandela

Hard Time

My wife is not enjoying her stay at the rehabilitation facility and has refused physical therapy. Still can not visit her until her covid test results are returned. We need to convince her she must do the therapy in order to get the ability to return to our apartment. Our children are trying to convince her, as I am, that she needs to let the therapists help.

These are difficult times for our family but we will be OK. Here is an abridged article that I find helpful’

 

Six Ways to Thrive in Tough Times

By Aila Accad, RN, MSN

Here are six tips that can help you thrive in tough times.

Nourish Yourself – Let go of the bootstraps for a few moments, acknowledge your stress and be kind to yourself. What nourishes you — inspirational reading, music, a cup of tea …? Are there people or places, a favorite chair or spot in nature that provide sustenance? Make nurturing yourself every day a priority.

Stay Present – Don’t project ahead. Take life one day, one moment at a time. Tough times are more manageable when you pay attention to making decisions and taking action on only the next step

Accept Support – This can be difficult for people who prize self-sufficiency. Remember it is as virtuous to receive, as it is to give. Don’t deprive your friends and family of the pleasure to help you when you need it. Shared burdens provide opportunities for enhanced closeness and appreciation for one another.

Trust Your Resilience – Chances are you have been through tough times before. What natural strengths did you rely upon in those situations? What are your natural inner resources? Trust that you have what you need to see this tough time through.

Visualize Success – See yourself moving into a new chapter of life. How do you want to write that chapter? Creation begins in the imagination. If you can think it, you can create it. In order to be free to dream and hope for something new, you must let go of old visions, descriptions and limitations of the person you think you are or can become.

Forgive Past Errors – Forgive past hurts, and people who may have inflicted them, knowingly or unknowingly. This is not out of kindness to them, rather out of kindness to you. After all, you are the one carrying the burden of these hurts. Forgive yourself for mistakes or paths not taken. Release the burden of the past so you can travel lighter in the present.

~~~

“Have great hopes and dare to go all out for them. Have great dreams and dare to live them. Have tremendous expectations and believe in them.”

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

TEACHER: Why are you late?

WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

WEBSTER: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

~~~

“An old timer is a man who’s had a lot of interesting experiences — some of them true.”

~~~

When a physician remarked on a new patient’s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, “High blood pressure, Doc.  It comes from my family.”

“Your mother’s side or your father’s?” the doctor asked.

“Neither,” he replied.  “It’s from my wife’s family.”

“Oh, come now,” the doctor said.  “How could your wife’s family give you high blood pressure?”

He sighed.  “You oughta meet ’em sometime, Doc!”

~~~

“Any husband who says, ‘My wife and I are completely equal partners,’  is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.”

~~~

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody- or-other had printed it.

“Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector.

“Yes, that was it!”

“You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!”

“Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much,” replied the man. “It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin Luther.”

~~~

“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”

-W. C. Fields

~~~

A guy walked into his friend’s office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.

“Hey, what’s up with you?” he asks.

“Oh, its my wife,” replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me.”

“Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?”

“Neither, He’s bald.”

~~~

A computer expert is someone who can tell you logically why he doesn’t know what to do about your problem.

~~~

An airline customer-service agent got a call from a woman who wanted to know if she could take her dog on board.

He told her the dog was welcome, as long as she paid a $50 charge and provided her own kennel. He further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around and roll over.

“I’ll never be able to teach him all that by tomorrow!” she said, and hung up.

~~~

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

~~~

This lady went with her daughter to visit a prestigious university, and the student guide pointed out the nationally ranked library and state-of-the-art science facilities. She told them that the professors were the best in the world, and she recommended the daughter apply early to improve her chances for admission. “We get so many applicants,” she boasted, “because of the stature of the school.”

After the tour the mother asked our guide, “So, why did you choose this school?”

“Oh,” she replied, “my boyfriend works at the McDonald’s across the parking lot.”

~~~

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”

Mary Anne Radmacher

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

You Can Do It

Ray’s Daily

August 18, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

There are only two options regarding commitment. You’re either in or out. There’s no such thing as a life in-between.”

Pat Riley

You can do it

Ray’s Daily first published on August 18, 2009

I was mentioning to a friend yesterday how disappointing it is to have people I know decide that they need to make a change in their life and then decide it is too much effort to do what is needed to get to where they want to go. I don’t know if it is lack of courage, lack of will or just laziness. What I find distressing is when they share their dream and their plan to achieve it, exciting me in the process and then watching them quit making any real effort to fulfill their dream. It is especially worrisome when they need to find a new future because of job loss or economic problems only to give up without trying to dig their way out of their situation. I am beginning to believe that we now have too many folks who lack the patience needed to successfully invest in their future, people who give up if they don’t achieve instant success. It seems like these individuals have become so conditioned to an instant-gratification world that if things don’t happen right now they are not worth pursuing.

I agree with what author Cookie Tuminello wrote recently about commitment and follow-through. Here is what she said:

I’m on a rant today about one of my pet peeves and success saboteurs. I rate it right up there with shooting yourself in the foot. How many times a day do you hear yourself or others use the phrase, “I’ll try… to get this project done” or “I’ll try… to come to the meeting”? I cringe every time I hear it. Here are three thoughts that come up for me when someone says, “I’ll try…” Are you afraid to commit, afraid to say NO, or afraid you won’t succeed so you want to leave a back door open just in case?

Well, in my world, “I’ll try” is like saying you’re a ‘little bit’ of a couch potato. Either you are or you aren’t. There is no grey area in that particular case, and no such area exists in real life as well. Saying “I’ll try to get that done for you” is akin to admitting defeat ahead of time. You come off sounding pretty wishy-washy, and your lack of commitment to following through on the request is iffy at best. Maybe you will get that job finished… or maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll change your eating habits and not chow down a quart of ice cream every night… or maybe you won’t. See where I’m going with this?

Committing to positive change in your life requires decisive action on your part. You can’t dance around your decision and hope that by some divine intervention things are going to miraculously change, because believe me, that’s not going to happen. That would be like looking at a flat tire on your car and hoping that AAA shows up BEFORE you place a call.

By copping out and using the “I’ll try” response, you’re admitting that you aren’t committed to doing the necessary work to be the person you want to be in your life. When you live your life mired in mediocrity, you get mediocre results. Well, duh! If that isn’t a recipe for self-sabotage, I don’t know what is!

We’re all familiar with the expression, “You don’t get to whine if you don’t do the time,” and I can’t think of any better way to put it than that. Either you want to change or you don’t. There’s no grey area here. Which is it?

So, the next time you even think about saying “I’ll try,” I want you to ask yourself these three questions:

* How long am I going to keep settling for less in my life?

* How long am I going to keep giving away my power?

* When am I going to tell the truth about what I want in my life?

Your power, identity, success, and happiness depend on your answers. Choose carefully!

~~~

“I keep a simple view of living. It is, keep your eyes open and get on with it.”

Sir Laurence Olivier

~~~

Moses and his flock arrive at the sea, with the Egyptians in hot pursuit.

Moses calls a staff meeting.

Moses: Well, how are we going to get across the sea? We need a fast solution. The Egyptians are close behind us.

The General of the Armies: Normally, I’d recommend that we build a pontoon bridge to carry us across. But there’s not enough time – the Egyptians are too close.

The Admiral of the Navy: Normally, I’d recommend that we build barges to carry us across. But time is too short.

Moses: Does anyone have a solution?

Just then, his Public Relations man raises his hand.

Moses: You! You have a solution?

The PR Man: No, but I can promise you this: If you can find a way out of this one, I can get you two or three pages in the Old Testament.

~~~

If you have trouble getting your children’s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

~~~

The students in her third grade class were bombarding her with questions about her newly pierced ears.

“Does the hole go all the way through?”

“Yes.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Just a little.”

“Did they stick a needle through your ears?”

“No, they used a special gun.”

Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out,

“How far away did they stand?”

~~~

I look forward to being older, when what you look like becomes less and less an issue and what you are is the point.

Susan Sarandon

~~~

She said: When I arrived for my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty.

“For example, she’ll do the wrong page in the workbook,” the teacher explained, “and I’ve even found her sitting in the wrong desk.”

“I don’t understand that,” I replied defensively. “Where could she have gotten that?”

The teacher went on to reassure me that my daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likeable. Finally, after a pause, she added, “By the way, our appointment was for tomorrow.”

~~~

I panicked and hung up! What kind of sick company has an actual PERSON answer their phone?!

~~~

Mrs. Taylor, asked her 5th grade history class, “When was Rome built?” and called on Timothy to answer first.

“Rome was built at night.” was his answer.

“At night?” asked Mrs. Taylor, holding her ruler firmly in her hands.  “How ever did you get such an idea?”

“Well,” gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy her, “everyone knows Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

~~~

I took a course in speed waiting.  Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

Steven Wright

~~~

Start by doing what’s necessary, then do what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

Saint Francis of Assisi

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

Ben was right

Ray’s Daily

August 17, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

As this world was not intended to be a state of any great satisfaction or high enjoyment, so neither was it intended to be a mere scene of unhappiness and sorrow.

Joseph Butler

 globe

My wife was trabsported from the hospital to our rehsb facility. She is currently guaranteed so I will not be able to visit her until her covid teast results come back. In the meantime here is a ten year old Daily.

Ray’s Daily first published on August 17, 2010

 

I got good news the other day, the Medic Alert Foundation notified me that there would be no room on my Medic Alert bracelet for another malady, between the heart, brain and internal stuff that was already on there the space was all taken. I was glad to learn that I will not be able to incur any further medical complications.

People often ask if I am doing OK and if the truth be known I really am other than an occasional interruption in my health status. I really don’t have any reason to worry as so many others worry for me and in any case worry is generally just a waste of time. In my view there are two ways to look at our world, one is to let the challenges we face take us down and the other is to see them as only temporary stumbling blocks and I choose the later.

Ralph Marston wrote the following today that triggered my thinking about the control we have over how we face life, here is what he wrote:

Life is all in how you look at it. Through the way you choose to look at it, you can make your life into anything you wish.

What if you could transform your resentment for having to do something into enthusiasm for getting it done? The powerful and amazing thing is, you can.

Instead of being angry about something that’s happened, you can be determined to make it right. Instead of being disappointed by the setbacks, you can be motivated by the new possibilities they’ve created.

What are you looking at, that looks difficult or painful or annoying or just plain impossible? What if you looked at it differently?

You can choose your perspective, you can choose your feelings, you can choose your thoughts, your words and your actions. No matter what life sends your way, you can choose how to look at it and what to do with it.

Get in the habit of looking at life with love and gratitude, and with enthusiasm for the positive possibilities. When you look, see the life you wish to live, for you have what it takes to make it be.

There is no reason to waste time on what we don’t have or can’t do when we have more than enough to build on and enjoy.

~~~

“Enjoy what you can, endure what you must.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

Who reads what?

1.The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2.The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.

3.The Washington Post is read by people who think they ought to run the country.

4.USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t understand the Washington Post.

5.The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could spare the time.

6.The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

7.The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country.

8.The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country, as long as they do something scandalous.

9.The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it.

10.The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country.

~~~

Wisdom is not in words. Wisdom is meaning within words.

Khalil Gibran

~~~

She said: I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn’t help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering.

I mentioned this to a flight attendant. “I’ll take care of it,” she said. Moments later the lights went out.

Clearly she had solved the problem by turning off all the lights.

A passenger across the aisle who had been watching me leaned over and said, “Whatever you do, please don’t ask about the engines.”

~~~

Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

~~~

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.  As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase in plan that would be known as “EuroEnglish”:

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”– Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.  The hard “c” will be dropped in favor of the “k”.  This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” wil be replaced with the “f”.  This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e”‘s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away.

By the 4th yar peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.  During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary “o”  kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.  After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.  Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

~~~

She said: Question authority, but not mine.

~~~

I noticed the neighbor down the street was home every day, so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on.

He replied, “I left my job because of illness and fatigue.”

A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of what happened. Turns out my neighbor’s boss got sick and tired of him.

~~~

When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks.

The wildest thing was—prepare to be shocked—we deliberately ingested carbohydrates!

Dave Barry

~~~

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.  He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.  I was not so pleased.

I turned to Mom and said, “I’m surprised at you.  Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”

Mom smiled and then replied…..”Oh……I remember!”

~~~

“As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.”

Ben Hogan

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

Hope for better days

Ray’s Daily

August 14, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

My wife is still in the hospital and I am not allowed to visit her there. Hopefully she will be released to our reisence rehad facility today. It will be her birthday Sunday and I want to be with her then. Meanwhile here is another Daily from the past.

 The only real security is not insurance or money or a job, not a house and furniture paid for, or a retirement fund, and never is it another person. It is the skill and humor and courage within, the ability to build your own fires and find your own peace.

Audrey Sutherland

better-days-jpg

Ray’s Daily first published on August 14, 2008

Today’s quote is especially meaningful at the moment. We just had a refrigerator freezer breakdown and will need to buy a new one. We also received a statement showing the current value of our retirement savings account and found that last month it lost some substantial value. This morning I went to my friendly dentist and as kindly as possible he informed me that I will require dental work that will cost me more than my next cruise.

So I am following Audrey’s advice and falling back on my small amount of skill while mustering up my courage and smiling, honest that is a smile and not a grimace. It is too hot to build a fire but I know that I have not lost my ability to nap and boy is that peaceful.

Of course I know that my little bit of adversity is nothing compared to what so many others are feeling these days. I attended a meeting this morning where a food bank executive told of older folks that have to choose between food and medicine since they don’t have enough money for both. He shared with us the plight of the almost 70,000 children in our state that go to bed without adequate food each day. My problems pale by comparison to those of millions around the world. I have a refrigerator freezer to break while others don’t have food to eat much less store. The money left in my retirement account is more than some families in other parts of the world will earn in a lifetime. I will be able to get the dental work done that will allow me to keep my teeth while many in our world have lost all of theirs.

It is like you and I have discussed so many times before, we should count our blessings along with our problems. I know when I do I always realize how lucky I am to have so much while suffering so little. So my friend today could have been somewhat better but also a lot worse. Maybe the obstacles that are put in our path are put there to remind us that we have the capacity to move on rather than to provide us a reason to agonize or even just give up.

As you know I never know what I’ll write when I sit down to drop you a note but as often happens I was glad I did today. I was a little down when I started but I am back with an honest smile, ready for a better day tomorrow.

~~~

“Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many – not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some”

Charles Dickens

~~~

“Grandpa, grownups don’t pay any attention to me,” said little Jimmy. Grandpa replied, “They don’t pay any attention to me too.”

“Grandpa, sometimes grownups make fun of me. Do they make fun of you too?”

Grandpa said, “Yes, Son… me too.”

“Grandpa, some days I get tired and have to rest in the afternoon.”

“I know, Jimmy… I do too,” said Grandpa.

“I love you, Grandpa,” said little Jimmy.

“I love you too, Jimmy,” said Grandpa.

“I wish more people told me that,” said Jimmy.

“Me too,” answered Grandpa.

~~~

Any married man should forget his mistakes; there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

~~~

She said:

  1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
  2. THE RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
  3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.
  4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES.
  5. The Female is never wrong.
  6. If the Female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding that was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.
  7. The Male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
  8. The Female may change her mind at any time.
  9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the Female.
  10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
  11. The Male must remain calm at all times unless the Female wants him to be angry and/or upset.
  12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry and/or upset.
  13. The Male is expected to be adept at mind reading.
  14. The Female is ready when she is ready.
  15. The Male must be ready at all times.
  16. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm to the Male.
  17. The Male who doesn’t abide by THE RULES can’t take the heat, lacks backbone and is a wimp.
  18. THE RULES are no joke.

~~~

“Osborne’s Law”

Variables won’t; constants aren’t.

~~~

Morris needs a lawyer, so he grabs the yellow pages and picks out a law firm — Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz & Schwartz.

He calls up and says, “Is Mr. Schwartz in?”

The man says, “No, he’s out playing golf.”

Morris says, “All right, then let me speak to Mr. Schwartz.”

“He’s not with the firm any more, he’s retired.”

“Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz.”

“He’s away in Boston, won’t be back for a month.”

“Okay, then let me talk to the other Mr. Schwartz.”

He says, “Speaking!”

~~~

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

~~~

The kid said don’t get me sick:

When you go home, you have to stay all alone.

You have to stay in bed and not get fed.

You miss out on all the fun that’s it, you’re done.

So when you sneeze cover your mouth please!!!

Madison F. age 9

~~~

WHY MEN AREN’T GOOD SECRETARIES

Husband’s note to his wife…”Doctor’s office called: Said Pabst beer is normal.”

~~~

An English professor announced to the class; “There are two words I don’t allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool.”

From the back of the room a voice called out, “So, what are the words?

~~~

“People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built. ”

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Caring

Ray’s Daily

Sorry for the delay. My wife was taken to the hospital last night and is recovering there now.

August 13, 2020

http://rqys-daily.com

Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.

attributed to Theodore Roosevelt

caring

These difficult times have brought out the best in lots of folks. They got out of there way each day as they care for others. Some are caregivers, more are polite and outgoing to all they meet. These are the prople we really need in our lives, I know I do.

Here is a poem that reminds me of the good people I know.

 

Caring

 Poem by David Harris

When I’m in need of encouragement,

On you I can always rely.

I merely need to seek your help

And you are willing and standing by.

 

You help to fortify my ambitions

When the burdens of life take their toll,

And my mental state make it difficult

To keep my teary eyes in control.

 

You instill in me an optimistic view of life

When opportunities have slipped away.

You inspire me with your comforting words,

Enlightening my weary heart along the way.

 

I’m thankful for your sincere intervention,

Though your advice was worthy and tough,

But most of all in retrospect, I’m truly thankful

For your true friendship and unselfish love.

~~~

The closest thing to being cared for is to care for someone else.

Carson McCullers

~~~

There was this guy in a mental hospital. All day long he had his ear to the wall, listening. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day.

The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing.

He turned to the mental patient and said, “I don’t hear anything.”

The mental patient said, “Yeah, I know. It’s been like that for months!”

~~~

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,

Today is a gift.

That’s why it is called the present.

Unknown

~~~

3 geezers are sitting on a porch in Miami Beach. Suddenly the first sighs and says, “Gentlemen, isn’t life horrible. Here I am at an age that I can afford the best steaks and what? Bad teeth and gums. I have to eat ground or soft foods.”

The second answers, “Yeah, life is a real bummer. Why here I am at an age where I can buy the finest wines, champagne but what? Ulcers, I have to drink milk.”

The third sighs loudly and adds, “Gentlemen, I know exactly what you mean. Last night at 2 am I nudged my wife and asked her if she’s interested. She screams at me, “What is wrong with you Sam?  We just got finished doing it for the second time tonight!”

After a long pause the first man says, “So what is your problem?”

The third one grunts and says, “Can’t you see?  My memory is going.”

~~~

Middle age starts when you become more interested in how long your car will last rather than how fast it’ll go.

~~~

A guy was visiting his friend in the hospital who was “all torn up.”

“What happened?” he asked.

“Well, we were hunting the Mumba snake. It has yellow and black stripes, and likes to sun itself lying across a pathway in the jungle. You catch it by grabbing the tip of it’s tail with one hand and quickly running your other hand up the length of it’s body so you can grab it behind the neck.”

“Go on,” the friend urged.

“Well, I stealthily sneaked up to the tail laying across the jungle path, grabbed it by the end and rapidly moved my other hand upward …just as the procedure goes.”

“So why are you so banged up?” the friend asked.

“Have you ever goosed a tiger?”

~~~

It is wise to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.

~~~

While I am not Jewish I love their humor and enjoy sharing some of it with you.

Jews give gifts for every occasion. Occasions are not only birthdays and weddings, but also college acceptances, weight loss and the like. Sometimes we ask others’ opinions on whether to bring a gift, but we always do, no matter what the advice was.

Some pointers on giving and receiving:

  1. Every gift you get will have strings attached. You will never understand what those are.
  2. Your new relative would never be so insensitive as to give you a gift certificate. That would deprive you of the joy of criticizing the gift, agonizing over how to say you’re exchanging it, schlepping it to the store, and arguing about the store’s return policy.
  3. Select gifts for your new family with great care.

They won’t like anything, but that’s no excuse not to drive yourself insane hunting down a better present than anyone else will give.

~~~

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.”

~~~

One day a gentleman walked into one of Ben Franklin’s book stores. As one of the clerks went to assist him, the gentleman asked the clerk the price of the book he wished to purchase. The young clerk looked at the price posted on the book and said, “That book is one dollar, sir.” The gentleman began to haggle with the clerk over the price. The clerk assured him that the correct price for the book was one dollar and no lower. As the man realized that his efforts to haggle with the clerk were going nowhere, he insisted on speaking with Ben Franklin directly.

Franklin stopped his work, walked out to the storefront and the gentleman asked, “What is the price of this book?” Franklin answered, “One dollar and a quarter.” The gentleman was confused and replied, “Your clerk just said it was a dollar.” Franklin looked at the book again and answered, “Yes, it was a dollar. But now you’re wasting my time.”

~~~

The latest employment report shows that the number of people hired last month was only half what economists expected. It’s not that there aren’t any new jobs out there, it’s just that no one can afford to fill their gas tank and get to an interview.

Jake Novak

~~~

I was sitting behind an enthusiastic mom at my son’s Little League game. Her boy was pitching for the opposing team, and she cheered as he threw wild pitch after wild pitch. The poor kid walked every batter. It was only the first inning, and the score was 14 – 0. Then one batter finally smacked the ball. “Oh, no!” the mom wailed. “There goes his no-hitter!”

~~~

They say not to put all of your eggs in one basket, but I’ll be darned if I am going to roll 12 shopping carts out of the grocery store!

~~~

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Leo Buscaglia

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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