Ray's musings and humor

Archive for April, 2009

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To Volunteer

Everybody can be great….because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.

Author Unknown

 

 

As you know I have had the good fortune of being given many opportunities to serve via volunteering. I hope you do too and have the time to reap the rewards that come from working with others while building better lives. Rather than have me ramble on you can learn what I mean by listening to the MP3 Podcast of a recent radio interview I did with the Salvation Army. I think the interview starts 10 minutes or so into the broadcast and then lasts about 15 minutes. You can find it at http://www.salvationarmyindiana.org/dw/podcasts/rsr-041909.mp3. If you have the patience to listen you’ll learn some of why I think I get so much out of what I am allowed to do.

~~~

Why Be A Volunteer?

 

It’s not for the money;

It’s not for the fame;

It’s not for any personal gain.

It’s just for love of your fellow man,

It’s just to give a helping hand;

It’s just to give a little of one’s self,

That’s something you can’t buy with wealth;

It’s not for a medal worn with pride,

It’s for that feeling deep inside;

It’s that feeling that you’ve been a part

Of helping people far and near,

That makes you a volunteer!

Author Unknown

~~~

PS If you live in Central Indiana and want to join us for some fun I’ll have a place for you as part of the Special Olympics Award Team on Saturday, May 9th. Just let me know you’re interested.

Ray

~~~

She said:  One day I called my mother from my apartment to make some plans with her.  In the background behind her, I could hear a terrible noise, like a jet plane taking off. 

"Mother," I asked apprehensively, "what’s that awful noise?"

"It’s the dishwasher," she replied.  "Your father fixed it."

~~~

A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.

~~~

Soon after marriage, a lady’s husband stopped wearing his wedding ring.

She asked, "Why don’t you ever wear your wedding band?"

He replied, "It cuts off my circulation."

She answered back, "It’s supposed to!"

~~~

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

~~~

A naive young gal was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature".  Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

~~~

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

~~~

You have just received the Amish computer virus. Because we don’t have any computers, or programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive and hand-deliver this virus to everyone on your mailing list.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

The Amish Computer Engineering Department

~~~

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

~~~

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin’ fools.  I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves.  Thirty minutes later, the same Irishman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.

The Texan says "Yes," and he asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately, the Irishman tears into all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and askes, "If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

The Irishman replies, "Oh… I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

~~~

"It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."

Helen Rowland

~~~

Mary and Bill go to an art gallery.  They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves.

Mary doesn’t like it and moves on but Bill keeps standing there and looking.

Mary asks, "What are you waiting for?"

Bill replies, "Autumn."

~~~

"Make a bet every day, otherwise you might walk around lucky and never know it."

Jimmy Jones

~~~

A little rural town had one of the highest birth rates in the country and this phenomenon attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; moved to town; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing their questionnaires and such.

While the staff was busy getting ready for their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local drugstore for a cup of coffee.  He sat down at the counter, ordered his coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate was so high.

"Sure," said the druggist. "Every morning the six o’clock train comes through here and blows for the crossing.  It wakes everybody up, and, well, it’s too late to go back to sleep, and it’s too early to get up."

~~~

“The ultimate expression of generosity is not in giving of what you have, but in giving of who you are.”

Johnnetta B. Cole

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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What will you write today?

Days are scrolls: write on them only what you want remembered.

Bchya Ibn Pakuda

 

 

 

Yesterday we talked about how fleeting both the good and the bad events in our lives are as the days and years go by. I suggested that having the bad linger but for a little while allows us to deal with disappointment, learn from our mistakes and then move on. I also said that the good things can pass us by without too much notice if we don’t stay alert while realizing how precious each positive moment is to our happiness.

The more I thought about it the more I realized that a lot of how we handle events depends on our old friend “Attitude.” It is those who expect to find good in their days and who know how positive life can be who are the happiest. It is almost like self-fulfilling prophecy; if you expect disappointment chances are you’ll find it and even worse you may even feed what you find just to prove to yourself that you’re right. On the other hand if you expect the best chances are you will find something to nurture, savor, appreciate and remember.

Here is something I was sent recently that was authored by Michaela Gagne that leads me to believe that she understands.

I believe that there’s no greater force in the world than love, and that those who welcome it in to their lives will truly live.

I believe that adults should give themselves permission to be children. Sing, paint, laugh, play, grow…and you will surely be happier and offer more to this world.

I believe that life is not about what could have happened. Life is about what is. Life is about looking through the front windshield while I’m driving, not the rearview mirror.

I believe that dreams are so important, but some may never come true…and that’s okay. A disappointment can hold a new sense of purpose and direction. I will never, ever stop dreaming…I just won’t stop myself from reshaping those goals into something even greater.

I believe in celebrating the people who have helped shape me into the fighter, giver, dreamer, artist, optimist, survivor, and believer I have become. I will show my love and appreciation to the family and friends who make my life beautiful.

I believe that life is about choices. I can choose to make my life and this world better. I can choose to turn obstacles into opportunities. I can choose to see the potential that surrounds me at every moment.

I believe in making every day special. Special has many definitions. What’s yours?

~~~

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.

Mary Anne Radmacher

~~~

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. "I feel real good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a five dollar bill to a bum."

"You mean you gave a bum five dollars? That’s a lot of money to give away like that. What did you husband say about it?"

"Oh, he thought it was a good thing to do and thanked me."

~~~

A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.

~~~

A man from the East Coast is visiting California for the first time, and is conversing with a California native. He says, "I’ll be visiting La Jolla (lah-JOLL-a) next week," whereupon the Californian replies, "Oh, you mean, ‘La-*HOY-a’?" "Oh. Yeah, I guess so." Then he adds, "but right now I’m staying in El Cajon (el-ca-JOHN)," and again the Californian corrects him, "You mean, El Ca ‘HONE’?" "Oh. Yeah, right." Then the Californian asks, "So when will you be returning home?" The East Coast guy thinks about it for a minute and then answers, "Oh, I don’t know, I guess sometime in ‘HUNE’ or ‘HULY’."

~~~

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.

Anthony Burgess

~~~

My friend Moishe owned one of the biggest and fastest-growing businesses in Miami, a furniture store.  I convinced him that he needed to take a trip to Italy to check out the merchandise himself, and because he was still single, he could check out all the hot Italian women, and maybe get lucky.

As Moishe was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance with a beautiful young lady… she only spoke Italian and he only spoke English, so neither understood a word the other spoke. He took out a pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a taxi. She smiled, nodded her head and they went for a ride in the park.

Later, he drew a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to dinner. After dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted.  They went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious evening.

It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. Moishe was dumbfounded, and to this day remarks to me that he’s never be able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business.

~~~

Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities.  -Frank Lloyd Wright

~~~

Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside.

One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn’t see us or recognize my pickup."

The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make.  God knows we’re in here…  and he’s the only one who counts."

The first deacon countered, "But God won’t tell my wife."

~~~

"True friends are the people who walk in when the rest of the world is walking out."

~~~

The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone called 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.

"It was enough to make anybody faint," he said.

"My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower."

~~~

Why can you "slow up," but you can’t "speed down."?

~~~

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.

After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married.  "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested.

Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

~~~

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

~~~

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other’s health one asked how the other’s husband was doing.

"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"

"Oh dear! I’m very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?"

"I opened a can of peas instead."

~~~

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Reinhold Niebuhr

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

I hope you enjoy the ride!

"Winners have the ability to step back from the canvas of their lives like an artist gaining perspective. They make their lives a work of art – an individual masterpiece."

Denis Waitley

 

 

 

I wonder sometimes if we have been so conditioned to make quick decisions, do instant analysis and learn only from sound byte information as we live a pseudo fast track life that we have forgotten how to stop and do an objective inventory of our lives.

British journalist Claire Rayner recently wrote:

This Too Will Pass

I was taught these words by my grandmother as a phrase that is to be used at all times in your life. When things are spectacularly dreadful; when things are absolutely appalling; when everything is superb and wonderful and marvelous and happy    say these four words to yourself. They will give you a sense of perspective and help you also to make the most of what is good and be stoical about what is bad.

 

When I read the piece I again realized that the one thing we can always be sure of is that “This too will pass.” The problem is that we far too often don’t move with the passing parade. Some of us even chose to put a stake in the ground during the bad times and just stay miserable even though the reason for the initial pain is long gone.

We live our lives in a space time continuum that is best enjoyed by our maintaining a balanced perspective while never taking too much too seriously. Most of the time when things aren’t going well few notice other then ourselves and that being true it says to me that maintaining a balanced perspective is critical to getting the most out of our days as we can. It always helps me to ask myself when things go bad if this is all that important and will the world be the worse of than it was? And the answer almost always is that it is of no real consequence.

We all make mistakes; we all stumble; that is just part of life. Every time we do we learn something of value. In my experience few notice our slips and those that do understand. I am not naive enough think that there aren’t those who are quick to judge and who find joy in criticizing, these are folks that I don’t really care about and find them easy to ignore. There are too many good people out there for me to waste too much time on those that aren’t.

OK, enough of the negative stuff for the best things in life are the bright spots which are also fleeting so it truly important that we appreciate them when they happen. I never want to be so busy I that I miss someone’s smile, fail to hear a song or pass up a moment when I can tell someone how important they are. As we have discussed before, if I sharpen my ability to appreciate I will find great memories that I can bank and retrieve when I need a boost. So ride your life, don’t let it drag you down.

~~~

"Joy, sorrow, tears, lamentation, laughter – to all these music gives voice, but in such a way that we are transported from the world of unrest to a world of peace, and see reality in a new way, as if we were sitting by a mountain lake and contemplating hills and woods and clouds in the tranquil and fathomless water."

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

 

Why men don’t write advice columns:  Walter’s Problem Page

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help.

When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn’t find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he’d been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant.

I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely, Mrs. Sheila Uisk

 

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Walter

~~~

Never close your lips to those to whom you have opened your heart.

Charles Dickens

~~~

She said: I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, "Hi, how are you?"

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don’t know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin’ just fine!"

And the other person says, "So, what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say, "Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?"

OK, this question is just too weird for me, but I figure I’ll just be polite and end the conversation. I say, "No, I’m a little busy right now!"

Then I hear the person say nervously, "Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions."

~~~

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

Confucious

~~~

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden

After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him… "Lets see yer fishin’ license, Boy!!" the Warden gasped. With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don’t have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes, sir," replied the young feller, "But my friend back there, well, he don’t have one…"

~~~

"Wisdom is your perspective on life, your sense of balance, your understanding of how the various parts and principles apply and relate to each other. It embraces judgment, discernment, comprehension. It is a gestalt or oneness, and integrated wholeness."

Stephen R. Covey

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

Stay Well!

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."

Leigh Hunt

 

 

 

It’s a good news bad news day. The good news is that our Kiwanis volunteer appreciation luncheon on Saturday was a great event. It is not often that we get a chance to express our thanks to the good people who help make things better for people and communities like these fine folks do.

The other good news is that I got my Shingles vaccination this morning, the pain friends have gone through when they have suffered with the disease was a great motivator. Later this week I’ll go to the hospital to get my semi-annual infusion of Iron and then Friday my primary doc will get her chance to poke and probe as she gives me my annual physical.

OK, the bad news…..I think I ate the wrong thing as my body is letting me down this morning so you’ll just have to live with another old Daily.

~~~

Ray’s Daily April 27, 2004

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

Margaret Lee Runbeck

~~~

She said, I’m a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I was wearing contemporary clothes instead of my habit, I drove into a gas station to get the communal car filled up.

After the young attendant topped off the tank, he walked toward my car window to return my credit card.  It was clear from his furrowed brow that he had something on his mind.

The young man looked at me shyly and pointed to the convent’s name, John XXIII Hall, imprinted on the card.

“Pardon me,” he asked hesitantly, “but how do you pronounce your husband’s middle name?”

~~~

I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.

~~~

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

~~~

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

They say that a preacher’s wife is always his number one assistant. An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon.

He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went.

The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer time went quite well, but," he continued, "I just don’t think the sermon ever got off the ground."

The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"

~~~

One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.

Sigmund Freud

~~~

Morris and Rachel are sweethearts. Morris lives in a small village out in the country and Rachel lives in town. One day, they go to see the Rabbi and set a date for their wedding. Before they leave, the Rabbi asks them whether they want a contemporary or traditional service. After a short discussion, they opt for the contemporary service.

Their day arrives but the weather is rotten and a storm forces Morris to take an alternate route to the synagogue. The village streets are flooded, so he rolls up his trouser legs to keep his trousers dry.

When at last he reaches the shul, his best man immediately rushes him up the aisle. As the ceremony starts, the Rabbi whispers to Morris, "Pull down your trousers."

"Rabbi, I’ve changed my mind," says Morris, "I think I prefer the traditional service."

~~~

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

~~~

A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos.  She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, "Why, that’s a thermos…..it keeps things hot and some things cold."

"Wow, said the blonde, "that’s amazing….I’m going to buy it !" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What’s that,’ he asked? "Why, that’s a thermos…..it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.

Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"

The blond replied, "Two popsicles, and some coffee."

~~~

Why is it called ‘after dark’, when it is really after light?

~~~

A man looked at the menu at the airport restaurant, and saw that the sandwiches were named for planes.  "I’ll have a Jumbo Jet," he said.  When the order arrived, he was disappointed to see how small his burger was, but he ate it anyway.

He called his waiter over and asked, "Was that the Jumbo Jet?"

"Yeah," the waiter answered.  "Went pretty fast, didn’t it?"

~~~

"You can have peace of mind only if you forgive rather than judge."

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

Will you be my friend?

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.

James M. Barrie

 

 

 

I am looking forward to tomorrow when my Kiwanis Club will be hosting a group of good people for lunch in appreciation of their helping with some of our projects. Many have been with us as we honored the athletes at Special Olympics, they have cooked with us as we raised money to help make our area a better place, they have joined us when we helped families in need buy winter clothing for their children at Christmas, they have stood with us in freezing weather as we rang bells at Red Kettles for the Salvation Army, and they have done even more. These are not Kiwanis Club members; these are caring people who take advantage of the opportunity to help others. I am really grateful for all they do but I am just as pleased to have the opportunity for us to do it together for there is no better way to make new friends or to bond with old friends.

I was interviewed on a radio show last week and was asked about volunteerism and what it meant to me, in a specific example I said it provided us with a place to park our hearts and for me it is. But it is also a place to share the human experience I just wish those who are lonely or those who feel that their lives have lost their zest would do something with us or in their community for it is amazing how restorative sharing love can be.

If you want to make some new friends, join us, or if you can’t then follow the advice offered by one of my favorite people, Gretchen Ruben, her is what she wrote:

Ancient philosophers and scientists agree: strong social ties are the KEY to happiness. You need close, long-term relationships; you need to be able to confide in others; you need to belong; you need to get and give support. Studies show that if you have five or more friends with whom to discuss an important matter you’re far more likely to describe yourself as “very happy.” Not only does having strong relationships make it far more likely that you take joy in life, but studies show that it also lengthens life (incredibly, even more than stopping smoking), boosts immunity, and cuts the risk of depression.

“Okay, okay,” you’re thinking, “I get it — but it’s not that easy to make new friends.” Here are some strategies to try, if you’re eager to make friends but are finding it tough:

1. Show up. Just as Woody Allen said that “Eighty percent of success is showing up,” a big part of friendship is showing up. Whenever you have the chance to see other people, take it. Go to the party. Stop by someone’s desk. Make the effort.

Also, the mere exposure effect describes the fact that repeated exposure makes you like someone better – and makes that person like you better, too. You’re much more likely to become friends with someone if you see him or her often.

2. Join a group. Being part of a natural group, where you have common interests and are brought together automatically, is the easiest way to make friends: starting a new job, taking a class, having a baby, joining a congregation, or moving to a new neighborhood are great opportunities to join a group. If those situations aren’t an option, try to find a different group to join. An added advantage to making friends through a group is that you can strengthen your friendships to several people at once — very helpful if you don’t have a lot of free time.

3. Form a group. If you can’t find an existing group to join, start a group based around something that interests you. Studies show that each common interest between people boosts the chances of a lasting relationship, and also brings about a 2% increase in life satisfaction. Movies, wine, cheese, pets, marathon-training, a language, a worthy cause…I know people in all these sorts of groups.

4. Say nice things about other people. It’s a kind way to behave; also, studies show that because of the psychological phenomenon of spontaneous trait transference, people unintentionally transfer to you the traits you ascribe to other people. So if you tell Jean that Pat is arrogant, unconsciously Jean associates that quality with you. On the other hand, if you say that Pat is hilarious, you’ll be linked to that quality.

5. Set a target. This strategy sounds very calculating, but it has really worked for me. When I enter a situation where I meet a new set of people, I set myself the goal of making three new friends. This seems artificial, but somehow, this shift makes me behave differently, it makes me more open to people, it prompts me to make the effort to say more than a perfunctory hello.

6. Make an effort to smile. Big surprise, studies show that the amount of time you smile during a conversation has a direct effect on how friendly you’re perceived to be. In fact, people who can’t smile due to facial paralysis have trouble with relationships.

7. Make friends with friends-of-friends. “Triadic closure” is the term for the fact that people tend to befriend the friends of their friends. So friends-of-friends is an excellent place to start if you’re trying to expand your circle.

~~~

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.

Elie Wiesel

~~~

(Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well meaning husband who has inherited the house and kids.)

Monday A.M.  Dearest: Sleep late.  Everything under control.  Lunches packed.  Kids off to school.  Menu for dinner planned.  Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: fruit cup, finger-sandwiches.  Thermos of hot tea by bedside.  See you around six.

Tuesday A.M.  Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the refrigerator. Hope you got back to sleep.  Did the kids tell you about the Coke I put in the Thermoses?  The school might call you on this.  Dinner may be a little late.  I’m doing your door-to-door canvas for liver research.  Your lunch is in refrigerator.  Hope you like leftover chili.

Wednesday A.M.  Dear Doris: Why in the name of all that is sane would you put soap powder in the flour canister!  If you have time, could you please come up with a likely spot for Chris’s missing shoes?  We’ve checked the clothes hamper, garage, back seat of the car and wood box.  Did you know the school has a ruling on bedroom slippers?  There’s some cold pizza for you on a napkin in the oven drawer.  Will be late tonight.  Driving eight Girl Scouts to tour meatpacking house.

Thursday A.M.  Doris: Don’t panic over water in hallway.  It crested last night at 9 P.M.  Will finish laundry tonight.  Please pencil in answers to following:

1.  How do you turn on the garbage disposal?

2.  How do you turn off the milkman?

3.  Why would that rotten kid leave his shoes in his boots?

4.  How do you remove a Confederate flag inked on the palm of a small boy’s hand?

5.  What do you do with leftovers when they begin to snap at you when you open the door? I don’t know what you’re having for lunch!  Surprise me!

Friday A.M.  Hey: Don’t drink from pitcher by the sink.  Am trying to restore pink dress shirt to original white.  Take heart.  Tonight, the ironing will be folded, the house cleaned and the dinner on time. I called your mother. have a great day.

~~~

A man’s best friend is his dogma.

~~~

THE HISTORY OF MEDICINE

             2000 BC:  Here, eat this root

             1000 AD:  That root is heathen.  Say this prayer.

             1850 AD:  That prayer is pure superstition. Here, drink this potion.

             1940 AD:  That potion is snake oil.  Here, swallow this pill.

             1985 AD:  That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic

             2000 AD:  That antibiotic doesn’t work any more.  Here, eat this root.

~~~~

Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

~~~

She said, as the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me.  One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse.  "We’re required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained.

"I think you’ll find everything there."  As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don’t mind if we watch.  Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse.  And we’d like to see just how you do it."

~~~

Don’t worry about temptation — as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.

~~~

A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard a big splash.

"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says ‘bridge out’ instead?"

~~~

Kindness trumps greed: it asks for sharing.

Kindness trumps fear: it calls forth gratefulness and love.

Kindness trumps even stupidity, for with sharing and love, one learns.

Marc Estrin

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

Don’t just sit there, do something!

“I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.”

Pablo Casals

 

 

 

It seems awfully easy these days for many people to look around themselves and say “It’s too bad but it is not my problem.” Some don’t see or don’t want to see those who are hurting due to no fault of their own. There is hardly a day that goes by that we are not tested in one way or the other, it may be a neighbors job loss, the kid who use to more our lawn having to drop out of college due to lack of money, or a single mom who has gone bankrupt because of a huge medical bill. All you have to do these days is open your eyes and ears to understand these are the toughest times ever for far too many. And you know what? If everyone looks the other way it will only get worse, soon it may very well be everyone getting hurt and all because too many folks looked the other way and said “It’s not my problem.” Don’t be like the animals in the following story, please when you see the need try to do what you can.

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. What food might this contain?  The mouse wondered.  He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.  Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning: "There’s a mousetrap in the house! There’s a mousetrap in the house!" 

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr.Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it." 

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There’s a mousetrap in the house! There’s a mousetrap in the house!"  The pig sympathized but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but be assured you are in my prayers." 

The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There’s a mousetrap in the house! There’s a mousetrap in the house!"  The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse, I’m sorry for you, but it’s no skin off my nose." 

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer’s mousetrap alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house — like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.  The farmer’s wife rushed to see what was caught.  In the darkness, she did not see the a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.  The snake bit the farmer’s wife.  The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever.  Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup’s main ingredient.  But his wife’s fever continued.  Friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock.  To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.  The farmer’s wife did not get well.  She died.  So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.  The mouse watched it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn’t concern you, remember this — when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.  We are all involved in this journey called life.  We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

~~~

When you are kind to someone in trouble, you hope they’ll remember and be kind to someone else. And it’ll become like wildfire.

Whoopi Goldberg

~~~

George, a career Army officer I once met, was jumpmaster for his unit and was taking up a few novices for a drop.  The flight was pretty rough, and, after a while, George called off the jump because of high winds.  As the plane headed back to base, and the pilot pulled off an unusually smooth landing, two of the neophytes got airsick. 

"How come you could take that rough flight, but you couldn’t handle the smooth landing?" asked George.

"Well, Sir," one trainee explained, "we’ve always jumped out of planes. We’ve never actually landed before."

~~~

Something popped into my mind and left right away. Maybe it was lonely.

~~~

A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, "If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat."

The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. It is hot. The girl then takes out a fan and starts fanning herself.

The woman looks up and says, "If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan."

The girl gives her the fan, too. Fifteen minutes later the woman gets up and says to the bus driver, "Stop, I want to get off here."

The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at the next corner, not in the middle of the block. With her hand across her chest, she tells the driver, "If you knew what I have, you would let me off the bus right here."

The bus driver pulls over and opens the door to let her out. As she’s walking out of the bus, he asks, "Madam, what is it you have?"

The old woman looks at him and nonchalantly replies, "Chutzpah."

~~~

A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.

~~~

She said: I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath’.

For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.

~~~

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

~~~

A Psychology professor was giving a lecture on Bi-Polar Disorder.

"Let us establish some parameters," said the professor. "Now then, Bennett, what is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," replied Bennett.

"And the opposite of depression, Ms. Buston?"

"Elation and joy, sir."

"And you Morris, how about the opposite of woe?"

"I believe that would be giddy up, sir."

~~~

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

~~~

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-another had printed it.

"Not Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.

"Yes, that was it!"

"You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at an auction for half a million dollars!"

"Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin Luther."

~~~

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess.

Louis Nizer

~~~

"That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-boyfriend."

"I know, but I don’t hold any grudges."

"I’m surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her."

"Well, I had to swear to him she’s Jennifer Lopez’s double."

"Wow! Is that true?"

"I wouldn’t lie. She’s twice her weight and twice her age!"

~~~

“Have you had a kindness shown? Pass it on; ‘Twas not given for thee alone, Pass it on; Let it travel down the years, Let it wipe another’s tears, ‘Til in Heaven the deed appears – Pass it on. ”

Henry Burton

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

What’s good today?

"Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day."

 

 

 

I, like most people have days that I am glad when they are over. In actuality my bad days are mostly self-induced. Fortunately I am often able to stop long enough to ask if what’s bothering me is all that important and as I’m sure you know it seldom is. The world doesn’t end if I am a little late, people won’t hate me if I failed to accomplish a task — it is all a matter of perspective. Unfortunately too many of us get eaten up by stress, in fact some seem to be stressed out all the time. I’ll let you in on a secret; the way to stay stressed is to let stress feed on itself. When we are stressed we often strike out in anger, exhibit depression and are no fun to be with. Happily nothing is really that important that we should let ourselves become people we would not like to be with and I know of no better way to feed stress than facing the world alone.

I really like the idea that there is something good in everyday for it motivates me to look for what it is so I can use it as an anecdote for the negative feelings generated by something that I am letting get me down. Anyway, I don’t know about you but I have better things to do than to let things stress me out.

~~~

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

A sales clerk asked his boss how to handle people who complained about the current prices compared to the low prices in the good old days.

"Just act surprised and tell them you didn’t think that they were old enough to remember them."

~~~

Doug goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife recently has lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back?"

The doctor replies, "Try coming home at 3 in the morning!"

~~~

All I want is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.

~~~

An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern Canada. Suddenly, the temperature dropped and a furious snowstorm was upon them. They came across an isolated cabin, far removed from any town.  The hunters had heard that the locals in the area were quite hospitable, so they knocked on the door to ask permission to rest. No one answered their knocks, but they discovered the cabin was unlocked and they entered.  It was a simple place …  2 rooms with a minimum of furniture and household equipment.  Nothing was unusual about the cabin except the stove.  It was large, pot-bellied, and made of cast-iron.  What was strange about it was its location …  it was suspended in midair by wires attached to the ceiling beams. "Fascinating," said the psychologist.  "It is obvious that this lonely trapper, isolated from humanity, has elevated this stove so that he can curl up under it and vicariously experience a return to the womb." "Nonsense!" replied the engineer.  "The man is practicing the laws of thermodynamics.  By elevating his stove, he has discovered a way to distribute heat more evenly throughout the cabin." "With all due respect," interrupted the theologian, "I’m sure that hanging his stove from the ceiling has religious meaning.  Fire LIFTED UP has been a religious symbol for centuries." The three debated the point for several hours without resolving the issue. 

When the trapper finally returned, they immediately asked him why he had hung his heavy pot-bellied stove from the ceiling. His answer was succinct.  "Had plenty of wire, not much stove pipe."

~~~

SHE SAID: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

HE SAID: Don’t you ever want to improve?

~~~

Heavily laden with groceries, my aunt asked a young clerk at the grocery store to accompany her to her car.  Arriving there, she unlocked and opened the doors and, without thinking, sat down in the back seat to check off her list of errands.

A moment later, the perplexed clerk walked around the car to my aunt.

"Lady," he said firmly, "I don’t mind helping you load your groceries, but I really gotta draw the line at driving you home."

~~~

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.

Will Rogers

~~~

Proof that Vodka is good for your brain:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 million developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300C.

When confronted with the same problem, the Russians used a pencil.

~~~

I’ve got it all together and now I’ve forgotten where I put it.

~~~

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what’s sex?"

Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the works.

He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub-topics and by the time he’s finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge.

Her father finally asks, "So what did you want to know about sex for?"

"Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of secs…"

~~~

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

~~~

The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he’d like a bottle of Chanel No. 5 for his wife’s birthday.

"A little surprise, eh?" smiled the clerk.

"You bet," answered the customer.  "She’s expecting a cruise."

~~~

They say that hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

~~~

The man, trying to start up a conversation with another man said, "Who is the ugly lady over there?"

The second man said, "Why, that’s my wife!"

Trying to get out of an embarrassing situation, the first man said, "No, not her, the other one!"

The second man said, "That’s my daughter!"

~~~

Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech.

~~~

A lawyer asked a pregnant witness, "Do you know how far along in your pregnancy you are now?"

"It’ll be three months on April 12," she replied.

"Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12?"

"Yes, sir."

"And what were you doing at that time?"

"Uh, Your Honor, do I have to answer that question?"

~~~

Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.

CZECH PROVERB

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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