Ray's musings and humor

Archive for March, 2008

I’m glad I went!

“Love is missing someone whenever you’re apart,

But somehow feeling warm inside because you’re close in heart.”

Kay Knudsen

 

 

Hi everybody, I made it back. My trip to North Carolina was another of those good news, bad news, events.

I had a super visit with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, their daughter, grand-daughter and great grandson. Just seeing them and reminiscing about the past was rewarding and I was glad we had the chance to see them. What was disappointing was that their health problems has resulted in their cancelling going with us on our New Year’s cruise. For years they have sailed with us and made our trips more enjoyable and now age and infirmity has taken its toll. That notwithstanding I have so many fond memories of our times together that I will be able to relive them again and again.

Some great news was my granddaughter’s winning the All Around Gymnastics State Championship. She continues to move up nationally and is a candidate for the Midwest Gymnastics team that will compete in the national championships later this year. She is an inspiration, she works hard, practicing for hour’s everyday, she is always smiling and does great in school, and has many friends. I hope to be like her when I grow up.

I spent the morning with an old friend and we had a good time both looking back and looking forward as she begins a new career. Our conversation drifted back to a comment a mutual friend made to me many years ago. He said “Ray, you see things other people don’t see,” I always thought that was a compliment, today was the first time I wondered if he meant I was hallucinating.

As my friend and I revisited the past some of the memories were justifiably painful. As you know it is not easy being open about our pain and our frailties but I have found it is better to let them out and share them than to keep them bottled up inside where they continue to hurt. When I thought about our conversation I remembered an article I saved by Ralph Marston about our ability to feel. Here is what he wrote:

 

“Sometimes your feelings can hurt profoundly. Yet wouldn’t you rather have those painful feelings occasionally than never having any feelings at all?

Your feelings let you know you’re alive. They tell you, in ways that words cannot, who you are.

Through your feelings, you discover what means the most to you. With your feelings, you’re able to build rich, rewarding relationships.

Feelings can indeed be messy and inconvenient, yet they’re certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Without feelings, life would be terribly flat and empty.

When a feeling seems to be uncomfortable or even unbearable, choose to dive more deeply into it. Somewhere in there you’ll find something very positive, comforting and affirming.

You feel because you are, and you feel because you care. Those are things about which you can genuinely feel great.”

~~~

“The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation that you ever had.”

~~~

Two guys in a bar…

One says "Did your hear the news – Mike is dead!"

"Wooo, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn’t brake properly and boom – He hit the pavement and the car flips up and he crashed through the sunroof – Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn’t kill him at all. So, he’s landed in my upstairs bedroom and he’s all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He’s just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that’s terrible!"

"No no, that didn’t kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn’t kill him, he even survived that. So he’s on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the cooker, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

"Man, what a way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he survived that ! He’s lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn’t mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he …"

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"

"I shot him!"

"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"

"He was wrecking my house."

~~~

Never argue with a stupid person because they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!

Mark Minton

~~~

A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox. The little boy has to go to take a pee and he was told by his mother to always be polite and don’t talk about private matters in public. At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say to the little girl to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table. So he turns to the little girl and says, "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose." And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.

When he comes back the little girl looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"

"Yes," said the little boy stepping back into the sandbox.

"Well then," says the little girl, "You’d better close your purse because your lipstick is hanging out."

~~~

There are many ways to measure success; not the least of which is the way your child describes you when talking to a friend.

Unknown

~~~

Bill took Jack to a celebratory dinner at a really fine restaurant.

They walked in, were ushered to a table by a formally dressed maitre d’, and sat down at a table on which were displayed the finest china and crystal. Taking the damask napkin from the solid silver napkin ring, Jack unfolded it, put it around his neck and proceeded to tie a knot in the back.

Staring at him, the maitre d’ said, between gritted teeth, "Sir, will you be having a shave or a haircut?"

~~~

People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday.

I tell them, a paternity suit."

George Burns

~~~

Little Johnny wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement.

He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t start getting better grades… somebody is going to get a spanking!"

~~~

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy,

You must have somebody to divide it with.

Mark Twain

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

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Please don’t tell anyone

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone’s task is unique as his specific opportunity.”

Viktor Frankl

 

 

Here it is Friday and almost the end of the day and I am just getting to the Daily. I had a 7 AM meeting at a near downtown restaurant, an EKG at a far North side doctors office, a blood draw at a lab, and then a late lunch with a state government friend. Also I don’t remember if I told you or not but I have to leave on a one week special assignment, and yes sorry but the Daily will be powered down all next week while I am gone. Fortunately this is a non-medical event but rather an out of state activity. So there is no health worry so far it looks like everything is OK and the meds are not taking me down.

I hope you will understand that I have yet to start my pre-trip countdown and am running late for everything so I will send you a classic Daily today and hope it will hold you for a week.

What I would like you to do while I am gone is to keep the pace, smile at everyone you can, and if you are in the Northern hemisphere enjoy the first breath of spring and if you are South of the equator enjoy the first vestiges of autumn. I’ll soon be back but please don’t wait for me, enjoy yourself while I am gone.

~~~

March 21, 2002

Those of us who live in Indiana are often accused of being behind the times. But when we are behind the seasons I really start to worry, yesterday was the first day of Spring and there is freezing temperatures and possible snow in our forecast. Did I miss something?

~~~

The following words were written on the tomb of an Anglican bishop in the crypts of Westminster Abbey:

When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it too seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it. And now as I lay on my deathbed, I suddenly realize if I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family.

~~~

"Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have."

Doris Mortman

~~~

Golf thoughts

Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.

There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.

Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.

An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.

~~~

Life may have no meaning — or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.

~~~

Jake and Saul are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. Much of their relationship is based on pragmatism rather than real friendship or personal affection.

One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Saul opens the morning paper and turns to the Obits page. He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own obituary in the column. He realizes that the query or info on him by the local newspaper several months earlier was in preparation for this event. He correctly surmises that it is a mistaken entry from their database, premature and erroneous..

It still excites and rankles him, so he calls Jake up. "Jake, are you up yet?"

Jake sleepily answers, "Yeah, but I’m only now starting my coffee."

"Jake. open the newspaper to page 31."

"Why, what’s in the paper?"

"Jake, get the paper and open it to page 31 NOW!"

"Ok, Ok, I’ve got the paper here, so what’s in page 31?"

"Jake, open the paper to page 31 already!"

"All right, don’t be such a pain in the butt so early in the morning already. So, what’s on page 31 that’s so important?"

"Jake, look at the bottom of column 4."

"Why? What’s that story on?"

"Jake, read the story on the bottom of the column already!"

"OK, OK, I’ll start reading the column if you stop yelling in my ear!"

The paper rustles for a few seconds, then a long silent pause ensues. Finally, Jake comes on the line quietly and fearfully, "So Saul, where are you calling me from right now?"

~~~

She said, men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s a woman’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with."

~~~

A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"

Several men stood up as the lights came on.

An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a nice, Jewish girl?"

~~~

Every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted.

~~~

Seen On The Church Marquee

"The best vitamin for a Christian is B1."

"Under same management for over 2000 years."

"Soul food served here."

"Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!"

"Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!"

"Don’t wait for the hearse to take you to church."

"Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case."

"Life has many choices. Eternity has two. What’s yours?"

"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due."

"Wal-Mart isn’t the only saving place!"

"Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary."

"Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible."

"It’s hard to stumble when you’re down on your knees."

"What part of "THOU SHALT NOT" don’t you understand?"

"A clear conscience makes a soft pillow."

"The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday."

"Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive."

"Can’t sleep? Try counting your blessings."

"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."

"Christians, keep the faith – but not from others!"

"Satan subtracts and divides. God multiplies and multiplies."

"If you don’t want to reap the fruits of sin, stay out of the devil’s orchard."

"To belittle is to be little."

"Don’t let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you."

"God answers kneemail."

"Try Jesus. If you don’t like Him, the devil will always take you back."

~~~

Today is the tomorrow you looked forward to yesterday.

~~~

In a software design meeting, we were using typical technical jargon to discuss a data exchange interface with a vendor.  One co-worker said the programming we had ordered was delayed because the vendor was suffering from a "severe nonlinear waterfowl issue."  Curious, the team leader raised his eyebrows and asked, "What exactly is that?"

The programmer replied, "They don’t have all their ducks in a row."

~~~

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years."

Mark Twain

~~~

"Character isn’t inherited. One builds it daily by the way one thinks and acts, thought by thought, action by action. If one lets fear or hate or anger take possession of the mind, they become self-forged chains."

Helen Douglas

~~~

 

You made a mistake today, good for you!

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”

Anna Quindlen

 

 

It seems like I am meeting more people these days that are not as happy as they could be because they feel they have failed or at least not performed at the level they should. I am beginning to feel that we are a society that imposes on our children a culture of striving for perfection and it lingers for many for the rest of their lives. It would not be so bad if we allowed ourselves to ignore other peoples definition of perfection and chose one of our own so that we can rejoice in being what we want to be and accepting our ability to do what we do as well as we might.

I know I am far from flawless, all you have to do is read yesterday’s daily and note my typos and grammar errors to know that. Yet I would much rather make a few mistakes if it allows me to visit you everyday. The standard I wish for everyone is the opportunity to be what they wish to be and to be able to do as well as they can.

The very special people I know stumble once in awhile, loose a button, take a wrong turn once in awhile and then just move on. For me they are as perfect as I would want them to be for generally they are happy with themselves and live with little pretense and understand that life is to be enjoyed. Anyway who said we needed to be the best at everything. Like I have told you before, this is as good as I get, take me or leave me that is your choice, I have quit compulsively trying to be the overachiever and have decided to just do what I can for all that I can and that is good enough.

A good friend of mine is in the process of writing a book and shared with me drafts of a few of the earlier chapters, in it he offers these suggestions to his readers (John I hope you don’t mind me sharing with our readers).

  • I don’t have to do everything perfectly. I can do them well. In fact, sometimes I don’t have to do things at all. I can do some things minimally and still feel good about them. I can choose to concentrate on a few things to work hard at doing well and let other activities slide and still feel good about my accomplishments.
  • I can decide how well I am doing. I don’t have to listen to others telling me how poorly or well I am doing. I must learn to recognize that others may give me evaluations for their own reasons. Even when bosses or coaches or parents or teachers tell me how imperfect I am, I can still decide how much of their evaluation I will pay attention to.
  • I will promise myself to be my own judge of my successes. They only have to meet my standards, not everyone or anyone else’s.

So my friends make a mistake today, enjoy making it, learn from it and then move on. Remember those who never make a mistake will never be part of the journey you have chosen, they will stay back huddled in the corner avoiding the possible criticisms that so many are so quick to offer.

~~~

Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.

Robert Schuller

~~~

A young Jewish man falls in love with a Native American woman and they decide to get married. When his mother hears the news, however, she is extremely distressed because she wanted him to marry a nice Jewish girl. When she hears that not only is he marrying this Native American girl but has decided to live with her on the reservation, the mother becomes so upset that she refuses to even speak to the boy, practically disowning him.  

After a year, the son telephones the mother to tell her that he and his wife are expecting a child. The mother is happy for him, but there is still quite a bit of tension in the air.  

Nine months later, the son calls the mother again. "Mom," he says, "I just wanted you to know that last night my wife gave birth to a healthy baby boy. I also wanted to tell you that we’ve talked it over and we have decided to give the boy a Jewish name."  

Upon hearing this, the mother is overjoyed. "Oh, son, this is wonderful," she gushes. "I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life. You have made me the happiest woman in the world."  

"That’s great, Mom," replies the son.  

"And what," asks the mother, "is the baby’s name?"  

The son proudly replies, "Smoked Whitefish!"  

~~~

Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life.

Ellen Sue Stern

~~~

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter. When returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter. She didn’t know what to do, so she called her home and told the babysitter what had happened and that she did not know what to do. The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse.

She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don’t know how to use this." So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.

The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful. The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you, thank you, God! You even sent me a Professional."

~~~

Many a man’s tongue broke his nose.

Seumas MacManus  

~~~

There is the story of a person who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation:

"I have good news and bad news.

"The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.

"The bad news is, it’s still out there in your pockets."

~~~

I began my education at a very early age. In fact, right after I left college.

Winston Churchill

~~~

A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor. After checking the chart, he nodded and wrote the man a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer.

The man asked, "How often do I take these."

"Let’s start off with once every six hours. But they’re not for you." replied the doctor. "They’re for your wife."

~~~

Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make yourself a happier and more productive person.

Dr. David M. Burns

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

How is life in the dash?

There’ll be two dates on your tombstone

And all your friends will read ’em

But all that’s gonna matter is that little dash between ’em…"

Kevin Welch

 

 

It was another interesting morning. I had coffee with a friend who is at a point where he is about to start a new career. He is in his sixties so he can start a new life knowing that there still are many years ahead that can provide him peace, happiness and satisfaction while he is doing something of value. I also got e-mail from a young friend how is trying to decide on relocating to another city where she feels her and her husband can find what they were meant to do as the begin their new life together. Just like my older friend they are ready to start a new life.

These choices are never easy, too many people tell us what we should do, we are concerned about the unknown and we were always told to try never to make a mistake. To these dear friends I only could only offer my best wishes while suggesting they risk doing what is right for themselves. I have learned that it is perfectly alright to make a mistake, we can try what sounds right and if it is not what we had hoped for we can move on to something else. The risk we take is the chance to be happy. Taking the safest route often leaves one wondering for the rest of their lives what it might have been like if only they would have chosen differently.

The quote above reminds us that we live in the dash. None of us will be here forever and every day we wait to invest in ourselves is a day lost forever. I sometimes think it would be worth our while to think that the end is just around the corner so that we understood that now is the time, the time to start the rest of our lives the way we would like them to be.

So what got me started on this, it was the following article. It carries an attention getting message.

 

What Will Matter

Michael Josephson

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else. Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.

So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away. It won’t matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end. It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice. Choose to live a life that matters.

Michael Josephson is a nationally known ethicist and radio commentator.

~~~

"The best way to predict your future is to create it."

~~~

A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed with what he could do – everyone except for Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic.

Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to visit this ‘miracle doctor’ to prove that he wasn’t anybody special. When it was time for his appointment he told the doctor, "Hey, doc, I’ve lost my sense of taste. I can’t taste nothin’, so what are ya goin’ to do?"

The doctor scratched his head and mumbled to himself a little, then told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47."

So the doctor brought the jar out, opened it, and told Mr. Thompson to taste it. He tasted it and immediately spit it out, "This is gross!" he yelled. "Looks like I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Thompson," said the doctor. So Mr. Thompson went home…. very mad.

One month later, Mr. Thompson decides to go back to the doctor and try once again to expose him as a fake, by complaining of a new problem. "Doc," he started, "I can’t remember anything!" Thinking he had the doctor stumped now, he waited as the doctor scratched his head, mumbled to himself a little, and told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47, it’s……" But before the doctor could finish his sentence, Mr. Thompson was cured and fled the room!

~~~

Am I getting older or is the supermarket playing great music?

~~~

You might be from Las Vegas If…..

* – You no longer associate bridges with water.  

* – You can say 110 degrees without fainting.   

* – You can make instant sun tea.  

* – You learn that a seat belt makes a good branding iron.  

* – The temperature drops below 85, and you feel a bit chilled.  

* – You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.  

* – You discover you can get a sunburn through your car window.  

* – You notice the best parking place is determined by shade, not distance.  

* – It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is on the streets.  

* – Hot water comes out of both taps.  

* – You actually burn your hand opening the car door.  

* – No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.  

* – Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?  

* – You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.  

~~~

The self is not something that one finds. It is something that one creates.

Thomas Szasz

~~~

"Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" a tourist asked the museum guard.

"They are three million, four years and six months old."

"That’s an awfully exact number. How do you know their age so precisely?"

"Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here and that was four and a half years ago."

~~~

Conditions are never just right.

People who delay action until all factors are favorable are the kind who do nothing.

William Feather

~~~

Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe.

While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepperand their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa!

The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma’am," they said, "we couldn’t help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker…"

"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

~~~

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.

Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.

Carl Jung

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

Rain today!!! Yipee, flowers tomorrow.

Johann Wolfgang Goethe

 

 

I truly feel sorry for those who get up each day expecting the worse; far too often it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. It seems to me that there are those who will dig so deep to find fault that they do even when there is none there.

I much prefer those who always expect the best. Have you noticed they are the people that brighten the lives of those around them? They see beauty in things far too many of us miss. I think they also find satisfaction in the little things in life, enjoying most days as they go by. I know I would much rather spend my time with them than with the constant fault finder.

I don’t know about you but I know I don’t want to let some grandeous aspiration keep me so occupied and distracted that I fail to find the joy that exists in each day. I have learned that wealth is better measured by the number of pleasant events in our lives than by the amount of money we have in the bank.

These are becoming trying times. Many of us will see some hopefully short term reduction in our savings. The cost of fuel, plummeting housing value, and cost cutting at work can be a real challenge for many. I just hope that those who must live a more modest life style will find how sweet the flowers really smell, how good a simple meal on a lawn can taste and how far a smile from those we care about will carry them. Years ago we didn’t have TV or ten dollar movies but we had books, we drove less and walked more, we did not drive miles for dinner — we walked next door and ate with the neighbors, we did not have electronic games or even the ability to go very far for fun we spent our time with family and the friends who lived up the street. And you know what I seem to remember people were happier then than they are now.

If you don’t enjoy life and find the burdens too heavy why not consider joining us in the Happiness Brigade. Try writing down something you saw today that pleased you, note the smile a stranger offered, be pleased with the little thing someone did for you for if you do it often enough you’ll find that your memory bank account will be overflowing with your accumulated positive experiences.

~~~

Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.

Charles Swindoll

~~~

Never test for an error you don’t know how to handle.

~~~

A guy walks into a bookstore, not looking for anything in particular. On his way to the back of the store, he spots something of interest. A book with a very interesting title, "Dating for the New Millennium. What Women Want." So, he picks it up and opens it to a random page.

"Chapter 1: The First Date."

He glances the chapter over for a few minutes and then rushes out of the bookstore to call a girl he’s wanted to ask out for quite awhile. When he gets home, he picks up the phone and calls her. She answers, "Hello?"

He says, "Hi, Jessica. Listen, I was wondering if you would want to go see a movie with me tonight?"

She says, "Sure, I don’t see anything wrong with that."

He gets excited. He thought she’d say no way, but she didn’t. So, he decided to take it one step further. He asks, "Great, well how about dinner before the movie?"

She replies, "Sure, that would be great too!"

"Fine, I’ll pick you up about nine. You should be finished eating by then."

~~~

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to the impresario.

"I have the most unusual act," he announces. "I’m sure it will amaze you."

He proceeds to climb a tall tower and jumps off. He flaps his arms wildly and finally, his fall slows. He soars forward, swoops upward, turns and swoops back again. Finally, he stops in mid-air and gently lowers himself to the ground.

The impresario stares blankly at him for a long time. Finally, he says, "Is that all you’ve got? Bird imitations?"

~~~

Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.

~~~

Pauly and Maury were in the neighborhood bar… Again…And Maury remarked that Old Jim had just told him that He was now an octogenarian.

"What’s an octogenarian?" asked Pauly.

"I dunno," said Maury, "but they must be pretty healthy People. Every one of ’em I’ve ever heard of is eighty Years old or more.

~~~

Why is it that we travel hundreds of miles to get away from everyone at home and then send them postcards that say, "Wish you were here"?

~~~

My town takes jury selection very seriously. So much so that when it sends questionnaires to perspective jurors, every question is expected to be answered in full–plain and simple, no ifs, ands or buts.  

This was evidenced by the juror’s questionnaire I was sent. It asked, Do you speak, read and understand English? If no, explain." 

~~~

As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.

Marian Anderson

~~~

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit

of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self-pitying. She moaned to her Mom and brother, "Nobody loves me. The whole world hates me!"

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That’s not true, Mary. Lots of people don’t even know you."

~~~

Optimists make the best of it when they get the worst of it.

~~~

"Mom," said the little girl. "Is it alright to say you are going to water the horse when you are giving him a drink of water?"

"Yes," said her mother. "That is the correct thing to say."

"Well then, I’m going to milk the cat."

~~~

Doing nothing is tiring because you can’t stop to rest.

~~~

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain’t been around for years!"

"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How’d you get rid of the gators?" "We didn’t do nothin’," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got ’em."

~~~

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.

Chinese Proverb

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

Back home again in Indiana

“The hardest thing you can do is smile when you are ill, in pain, or depressed. But this no-cost remedy is a necessary first half-step if you are to start on the road to recovery.”

Allen Klein

 

 

Hi all, I am back, but only for one week. My three day hospital stay last week ended up being five days. They started me on my new drug and then decided to up the dosage and restart the three day observation clock. At least there was no cutting this time, only lot’s of needles during their Dracula imitation period. They were a little sneaky though as my main blood draws and EKG’s took place between 2:30 and 4:30 AM. I think they did it then so they could sneak up on me while I was still groggy from being awaken.

It went well, although I am still adjusting and had to cancel a meeting this afternoon. I have a blood draw on Wednesday and an EKG on Friday just to make sure I am still breathing. This is a little more scientific than in the past my first Doc use to have me breathe on a mirror and if it fogged up he would declare me alive and send me on my way.

This hospital stay was at the St. Vincent Heart Center here in Indianapolis. The staff was the most gracious I have ever experienced. They all went out of their way to make myself and the other patients as comfortable and happy as possible. I have never been where the cleaning people, food delivery staff, the nurses and technicians all went the extra mile like these good people did. I don’t like staying in the hospital but this was about as pleasant experience as one could have.

I thought as I was leaving that the recruiters must set the highest priority on attracting and keeping people who genuinely like people. It again demonstrated to me what I always found in business, friendly, courteous, caring people are the secret to a successful enterprise. And do you know what, in almost every case they are also the most competent people you’ll meet.

Anyway friends I am glad to be back, I missed you all. I am now working on full recovery. I still have a ways to go though, I tried to jump over a building this morning and really hit my head hard, but at least it was at the third floor level so I am on my way back.

~~~

“It is important to remember that we all have magic inside us.”

Joanne Kathleen Rowling

~~~

He said: Yesterday my brother Jim was taking a test required for a management job with a local trucking company.   Part of the test involved a verbal section given by the company employment director (or whatever).

Question: "You are driving a forklift and 2 men get in your way, what do you do?"

My brother’s answer: "Go for the one with the most seniority!"

~~~

What is a friend? A single soul shared by two people. Aristotle

~~~

Found on the retirement village bulletin board

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim,5’4" used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and  am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and  meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.

~~~

Buddhist approaches a hotdog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything."

He gives the vendor a $20 bill and waits. Finally he says: "Where’s my change?"

Says the vendor: "All change must come from within."

~~~

Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880s. He’s buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore

Four slugs from a .44

No Les No More.

~~~

"Half our live is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed though life trying to save."

Will Rogers

~~~

A hospital posted a notice in the nurses’ mess saying:

"Remember, the first five minutes of a human being’s life are the most dangerous."

Underneath, a nurse had written:

"The last five are pretty risky, too."

~~~

When my son was in third grade, his teacher asked him to spell "straight."  He did so correctly.

"Now," said the teacher, "what does it mean?"

"Without water," he replied.

~~~

It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

~~~

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.

The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."

Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?"

Doctor says, "You’re not drinking enough water."

~~~

We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.

Joseph Campbell

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

He’s semi-back

 

 

Hi all. I am sorry to say my rear is still draggin’ and I can hardly keep my eyes open. I know I had to write something today so I am here and at least it gives me the opportunity to thank all the well wishers for their messages. Like my computer reported I have had a temporary health setback and will be trying a different drug next week while I spend three days or so in the hospital appreciating the nurses, reading some, listening to books on my I-pod and just laying around. No knives, no IV’s, just heart monitors; my son calls it my SPA visit.

I have felt bad that I have had to cancel or delay so much this week and will have to do it again for the next week or two. In most cases I would not have been very effective anyway so I am sure I was not overly missed and in some cases people were probably gratified that I did not show up. Hopefully both Spring and I will bloom again soon and I will catch back up.

I am hoping that either my computer or I will have a Daily tomorrow but if we don’t it will be back soon. I do know that we will be shut down for most if not all of next week. While I am gone please stay out of trouble and don’t do anything wild and crazy, at least not until I return so I can join you.

Ray

~~~

Many of you have written that you have enjoyed this weeks Dailies from the past that I am going to take the easy way out and do another one.

 

March 6, 2001

More of lessons from life:

We don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

If you don’t want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.

You shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

~~~

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
~~~

Melinda sent these actual announcements from synagogue newsletters and bulletins.

  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the JCC (Jewish Community Centre). Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
  • Rabbi is on vacation.  Massages can be given to his secretary.
  • Mrs. Goldblum will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
  • The Men’s Club is warmly invited to the Oneg hosted by Hadassah. Refreshments will be served for a nominal feel.
  • We are taking up a collection to defray the cost of the new carpet in the sanctuary.  All those wishing to do something on the carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
  • If you enjoy sinning, the choir is looking for you!
  • The Associate Rabbi unveiled the synagogue’s new fundraising campaign slogan this week: "I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours."

~~~

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don’t have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

~~~

Diana says she is glad she is a woman because:

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

Taxis stop for us.

We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.

We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems.

We’ll never regret piercing our ears.

We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence, because they aren’t listening anyway.

~~~

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

~~~

A Texas millionaire had fallen ill. Doctors consulted did not seem to understand what ailed him.  The millionaire let it be known that any doctor who could heal him could have whatever he desired.  A country doctor was able to cure him and as the doctor was leaving after a week’s stay, the Texan said, "Doc!  I am a man of my word.  You name it and if it is humanly possible I’ll get it for you."

"Well," said the doctor, "I love to play golf, so if I could have a matching set of golf clubs that would be fine."

With that the doctor left.  The doctor didn’t hear from the Texan millionaire for some months.  Then one day he got a phone call from the millionaire.

"Doc, I bet you thought that I had gone back on my word. I have your matching set of golf clubs.  The reason it took so long is that two of them didn’t have swimming pools and I didn’t think they were good enough for ya.  So I had pools installed and they’re all ready for you now!"

~~~

Lovka’s Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.

~~~

On a stifling hot day, a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection.  As traffic began to pile up in all directions, a woman rushed to help him.  As she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It’s all right, honey.  I’ve had a course in first aid."

She stood up and watched as he took the man’s pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration.  Then she tapped him on the shoulder. "When you get to the part about calling a doctor," she said, "I’m already here."

~~~

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

~~~

I come from a large family, five sisters and three brothers. My sisters and I were looking through the family photo album one day. Picture after picture, we were all dressed in matching clothes. I asked my mother why she dressed us all alike, right down to the baby.

She explained, "When we had just four children, I dressed you alike so we wouldn’t lose any of you. Then," she added, looking at the pictures in the album, "when as other five came along, I started dressing you alike so we won’t pick up any that don’t belong to us."

~~~

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

~~~

An English teacher spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors in her students’ written work. One overly busy day she sat at her desk rubbing her temples. A student asked, "What’s the matter, Mrs. Sheridan?"

"Tense," she replied, describing her emotional state.

After a slight pause the student tried again, "Er… What was the matter?  What has been the matter? What might have been the matter?"

~~~

It really bothers me when people cut me o…

~~~

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old,

you grow old because you stopped laughing.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

 

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