Ray's musings and humor

Archive for March, 2016

Spring Has Sprung

Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’

Robin Williams

! 000000 spring

My two favorite times of the year are Spring and Fall. Spring awakens in me an appreciation of the beauty of my surroundings here in Indiana. The warmth, the colors of the landscape and the seasonal smells that surround us when we venture out both inspire and motivate us to join in the new beginning.

This past winter has slowed me down so the rejuvenation offered by spring is welcomed. It is now up to me to join in on the return of springs birds and flowers and begin anew. Here are some suggestions from the Building 25 blog that offer suggestions on how we might enjoy the season.

Celebrate the extra hour of daylight — consider these activities!

You can now:

  • Leave work in a happy state- of-mind.
  • Walk your dog for an extra 10 minutes.
  • If you don’t have a dog, you can go to the dog park and watch them frolic.
  • Flip your mattress since (apparently) you’re supposed to flip it every six months to avoid hills and valleys.
  • Organize a work happy hour at your favorite rooftop bar.
  • Have dinner in your backyard.
  • Fire up the grill.
  • Buy a treat from the ice cream truck.
  • Go to the park.
  • Have a picnic in the park.
  • People-watch in the park.
  • Save electricity — turn your lights off for an extra hour.
  • Go to Whole Foods.
  • Get more after-work errands done and feel good about it.
  • Exercise outside.
  • Pick up a new hobby.
  • Hang out on a stoop.
  • Catch a tan.
  • Use the hour of sleep you lost to sleep in really late on the weekends and not feel guilty about it.
  • Feel better about going to sleep late since you won’t really think it’s as late as it is.

~~~

Spring won’t let me stay in this house any longer! I must get out and breathe the air deeply again.

Gustav Mahler

~~~

A pretty young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully. “Miss Jones,” he said finally, “it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination.”

~~~

She said: My husband and I always compromise. He admits he’s wrong and I agree with him.

~~~

OK this is for my fellow old guys:

Close Your Eyes” and go back with me in time

Before the Internet or the MAC,

Before semi automatics and crack

Before chronic and indo

Before SEGA or Super Nintendo

Way back……..

I’m talkin’ bout hide and go seek at dusk.

Sittin’ on the porch,

Hot bread and butter.

Chocolate milk,  Lunch tickets,

Penny candy in a brown paper bag.

Hopscotch, butterscotch, double-dutch Jacks, kickball, dodgeball, y’all!

Mother, May I?

Hula Hoops and Sunflower Seeds, Jaw breakers, blowpops, Mary Janes,

Running through the sprinkler (I can’t get wet! All right, well don’t wet my hair….)

The smell of the sun and lickin’ salty lips….

Wait……

Catchin’ lightening bugs in a jar, playin sling shot and Red Rover.

When around the corner seemed far away, and going downtown seemed like going somewhere.

Bedtime,  Climbing trees, a million mosquito bites and sticky fingers,

Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, sittin on the curb, jumpin down the steps, jumpin on the bed.

Pillow fights

Being tickled to death

Runnin till you were out of breath

Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt, being tired from playin’…. Remember that?

I ain’t finished just yet…

What about the girl that had the big bubbly hand writing??

Licking the beaters when your mother made a cake.

Didn’t that feel good..  just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that!

There’s nothing like the good old days!  They were good then, and they’re good now when we think about them. Share some of these thoughts with a friend who can relate. One can’t be serious ALL the time, eh?

Remember when…

When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF Flyers), and the only time you wore them at school, was for “gym.”

When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there.

When nobody owned a purebred dog.

When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter a huge bonus.

When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.

When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.

When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.

When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done, everyday.

When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time. And, you didn’t pay for air. And, you got trading stamps to boot!

When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.

When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.

When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.

When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed … and did!

When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.

Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn’t because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Disapproval of our parents and grandparents was a much bigger threat!

~~~

“The beautiful spring came; and when Nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also.”

Harriet Ann Jacobs

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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New life ahead

When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.

Benjamin Franklin

! 000000 Life

I have a friend that I visit with every once in a while. He is a young guy, only in his mid-sixties. He like most of us has lived a full and complex life. One of the things that we have in common is learning how to make the best of the changes we have to make as time goes on.

What I enjoy about our conversations is our looking back on past challenges, adventures, achievements and even failures. These discussions usually provide us a solid appreciation of how we got to where we are now and even offer us a chance to see some of the possibilities the future holds.

I have learned that coping with reality does not need to include limiting our ability to enjoy life as it is. It may require change, and usually does, but that does not mean a change for the worst. I my case it means that sometimes I have to replace some of the joy I have had from what I did with appreciating seeing what I have missed in the past.

As you know I like quotes and I am a fan of Marc Chernoff. Today I would like to share some of his thoughts that were triggered by a quote.

Quotes that Changed My Life

Your thoughts create your reality.

You feel the way you feel right now because of the thoughts you are thinking, and you are where you are right now because of the thoughts you have thought over and over again.  If the thoughts running though your mind are pure, positive and empowering, you will create positive and empowering beliefs about yourself and about life; and your actions, habits, and daily routines will be a reflection of these thoughts and beliefs.

You will regret the chances you didn’t take.

The things you didn’t do when you had the chance.  That priceless relationship you neglected.  Those important words you left unspoken…  Every one of us has experienced feelings of regret.  But it’s not too late to set things straight.  You’re still here breathing.  Right now you have an opportunity to change your future.  Right now you can choose to erase regret from your later years.

What you resist persists.

The more you fight against life’s circumstances, events, people, ideas, etc., the more you will be contributing to their growth and persistence into your daily life.  Learn to shift your focus from that which you are against to that which you are for, and to that which you wish to attract into your daily life.  Over time you will watch your life transform.

You are what’s on the inside.

When you are happy and satisfied with yourself personally, you act in kind, happy and loving ways toward the people around you.  Because you are comfortable inside, no matter how negative people might act toward you at times, you stay calm and collected, responding out of love and confidence to their behavior – for that is who you are on the inside, and you give out that which is within.

Sometimes the only healthy option is to move on.

When the time comes to move beyond certain things, ideas, or people, don’t resist it.  Allow yourself to experience life.  Allow yourself to grow, learn, and evolve.  Allow yourself to move beyond the past on your path to happiness.

Life as you know it doesn’t last forever.

Nothing lasts forever, and this is exactly why you need to learn to detach from things, places and people in your life.  When the time comes to say goodbye, let them all go and to do it with dignity and grace.

~~~

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. it means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

~~~

Here is why I like the Irish so much. Irish Proverbs

A kind word never broke anyone’s mouth.

A lie travels farther than the truth.

An old broom knows the dirty corners best.

A friend’s eye is a good mirror.

It’s no use carrying an umbrella if your shoes are leaking.

You’ll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind.

You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.

~~~

“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.”

Woody Allen.

~~~

While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.

As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine,” I said, touched by her concern.

“Oh, good,” she continued. “So will you be vacating your parking space now?”

~~~

If money won’t make you happy, you won’t like poverty either.

~~~

She said that while visiting her son during his freshman year, she was shocked by the mess in his room:  clothes, books, and rubbish lay everywhere. Later, over dinner, she tried to touch on the informal versus formal dress codes that life after college might require.  Her son, however, shared his own firmly held dress code guidelines:

  1. Informal: socks not required
  2. Semiformal: two socks required
  3. Formal: both socks must match

~~~

You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

~~~

Maureen said: At my granddaughter’s wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest.  It turned out to be my husband and I.  The DJ asked us, “What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?”

I said, “The three most important words in a marriage are, ‘You’re probably right.'”

Everyone then looked at my husband.  He said, “She’s probably right.”

~~~

Learn to see, and then you’ll know that there is no end to the new worlds for our vision.

Carlos Castaneda

~~~

Jill:  Did your ex have you sign a pre-nuptial agreement?

Mary:  No, but he should have.

Jill:  WHY?

Mary:  It would have been much easier on him than the post-nuptial agreement!

~~~

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover.”

Mark Twain

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Bouncing Back

“A good half of the art of living is resilience.”

Alain de Botton

! 000000 resliance

I hope you had a good day yesterday. Mine was a little trying as my body decided it needed rejuvenation and drove me into nap mode for an extended period. I was able howeve to join my spouse as we spent a large amount on a new convection/microwave oven. This was necessitated by the demise of the one currently installed in our kitchen. It’s replacement will be installed next Monday. While I do a lot of scratch cooking I did not appreciate how much I depend on my microwave. So back to the basics for a week, we might even let my wife feed us both a night or two even if that means I’ll have to dress up to go to a restaurant, which is better than feeding on her favorite recipe, cold cereal and half and half.

Today I must get back in action, first the YMCA for my workout, followed by picking medication and then my annual stress management exercise as I do my income taxes. Maybe my body was right yesterday when it required me to lay low and rest.

To make sure I get started on the right foot I am reviewing these reminders offered by C.D. Larson.

Promises to Yourself.

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear

and too happy to permit the presence of trouble

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

~~~

I think it’s nice to age gracefully. OK, you lose the youth, a certain stamina and dewy glow, but what you gain on the inside as a human being is wonderful: the wisdom, the acceptance and the peace of mind. It’s a fair exchange.

Cherie Lunghi

~~~

“Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel.

One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food-preparation area.

It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just WATCHING. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had an idea: They could sit on the boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television.”

~~~

The most efficient labor-saving device is still money.

~~~

One of my nurse buddies told me that:

* The patient furthest away from the nurses’ station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses’ station.

* When you cancel extra staff because it’s so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.

* There is always a way, and it usually doesn’t work.

* Staffing will gladly send you three aides–but you have to float two of your RNs.

* As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered.

* You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room.  You always remember when you get back to the other end …

* Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn’t doing well.

* Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the boss is watching.

* Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

* As soon as you’ve ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three ambulances all with cardiac arrests!

~~~

It’s so simple to be wise.  Just think of something stupid and then don’t say it.

Sam Levenson

~~~

2000 B.C. – Here, eat this root.

1000 A.D. – That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.

1850 A.D. – That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.

1940 A.D. – That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.

1985 A.D. – That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

2000 A.D. – That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

~~~

Apathy is something I’m neither for nor against.

~~~

A tourist from the city was visiting a quaint country village, and got talking to an old man in the local pub.  “And have you lived here all your life, sir?” asked the tourist.

And the old man, with a wise look, said, “Not yet.”

~~~

Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.

Jamais Cascio

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Make today be a good day

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.”

Marcus Aurelius

! 000000 Be Positive

If you are like I am there are days that are not all that easy. Seems that often these days when my mind sends my body an order it responds with “You must be kidding!.” I usually have enough positive mental thoughts going that I am patient long enough for my body to tough it out and get me moving.

With the external strife, physical challenges and the like it is important for me, and I suspect for you to stay positive. When we start to feel sorry for ourselves we take the risk of slipping down the slope that leads to depression. I am glad that you and I don’t have to let that happen if we choose happiness over unhappiness.

A few years ago Jessica Lee wrote an article that included some tips on staying positive. Here are some that I think have merit:

Ways to Encourage Positive Thinking

  • Stop saying, “I can’t.” If you hear it too often, you’ll convince yourself it’s true. Instead, say, “I’ll try my hardest,” or, “I’ll do my best.”
  • When you start to feel overwhelmed with negative thoughts, force yourself to focus on positive things. Look around you and appreciate the simple things—even if it’s only for a few minutes.
  • Assume the best. Don’t go into a project with a negative mindset, convinced you will fail. Approach each task knowing that you have the power to succeed.
  • Look for the silver lining. Bad things happen; as much as you try to prevent those situations from happening, they will. When they do, look for the silver lining.
  • Sit up! Slouching is bad for your posture and your attitude.
  • Write down your negative thoughts. You may be able to detect a pattern.
  • Write down your successes. Once you stop to think about it, you’ll realize there are a lot more good things happening in your life than you thought.
  • Help someone else. Often times, we get too wrapped up in our own drama. We forget how fortunate we really are. Volunteer to help a good cause.
  • Take a class. Often times, we feel overwhelmed by all the things we need to do. Adding one more event to your daily (or weekly) routine might seem counterintuitive. But learning something new can help your brain stay active.
  • Go somewhere new. Explore things you’ve never noticed before. Venture down a new walking path, eat at a new restaurant, visit an art gallery.
  • Don’t make excuses. Whether you voice them out loud or simply pass them off in your thinking, don’t make excuses for your behavior—or anyone else’s.
  • Look at old pictures. Remember the good ol’ days.
  • Just smile–even if it is for no reason at all. Bad things can’t possibly seem as devastating if you’re smiling.

~~~

You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.

Joyce Meyer

~~~

A young executive is working late one evening. As he comes out of his office about 8 PM he sees the Big Boss standing by the shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand. “Do you know how to work this thing?” the older man asks. “My secretary’s gone home and I don’t know how to run it.” “Yes, sir,” says the young executive, who turns on the machine, takes the paper from the other man, and feeds it in. “Now,” says his boss, “I just need the one copy…”

~~~

All men have the same amount of hormones. If you want to use yours growing hair, that’s your business. – Baldy

~~~

She said: I’m A Senior Citizen

I’m the life of the party…even when it lasts till 8 p.m.

I’m very good at opening child-proof caps with a hammer.

I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I’m going.

I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a word you are saying.

I’m so cared for: Long term care, Eye care, Private care, Dental care . . .

I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a secure place.

I’m realizing that aging is not for sissies.

I’m going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors . . .Absolutely nothing!

I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I’m in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD’s, IRA’s, AARP. . .

I’m wondering . . If you’re only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

I’m a walking storeroom of facts . . . I’ve just lost the storeroom.

~~~

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

Roseanne

~~~

Doug:  I know you’re crazy about that little daughter of yours.  What are you going to do when she starts to date?

Bill:  I figure I’ll take the first young man aside, put my arm around his shoulder, and pull him close to me so that only he can hear.  Then I’ll say, “Do you see that sweet, little young lady?  She’s my only daughter, and I love her very much.  If you were thinking about touching, kissing, or being physically affectionate to her in any way, just remember this:  I don’t mind going BACK to prison.”

~~~

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

Fran Lebowitz

~~~

A person enters a service station and asks for the quickest way to get to Oak St.

The attendant says, “Are you walking or driving?”

The person says, “Driving.”

The attendant responds, “That’s the quickest way”.

~~~

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You’re only interested in one thing,” and you can’t remember what it is.

Milton Berle

~~~

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards.

She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Chanukah stamps?”

The clerk says, “What denomination?”

The woman says, “Oh my God. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.”

~~~

“Today is a new beginning, a chance to turn your failures into achievements & your sorrows into so goods. No room for excuses.”

Joel Brown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Be Kind

Live a life of love, honesty, appreciation, kindness and strength. Sprinkled with a little silliness.

Author Unknown

! 000000 scatter-kindness

My goodness it is Easter Weekend already. Our trees are blooming and the early flowers have already made their appearance.

Sunday I will be getting together with many of my family members in celebration of Easter and the birthday of two of my grandsons. My wife and I fortunate that almost all of our immediate family lives close by so we get to enjoy their company often.

One branch who doesn’t live nearby is our niece and her family; they normally are in North Carolina but this weekend our neice is in New York City attending the opening of an exhibition of our grand-nephews photos in a New York art Gallery. Eric Pickersgill has an international following since one of his series of photos was published in major magazines and newspapers in both the US and abroad. While his work has been widely exhibited this is the first exhibition in a New York gallery. We are all proud of his accomplishments.

During this Easter season I wish everyone would moderate their anger and focus on the value of kindness. Here are some thoughts that I picked up along the way that I am pleased to share with you

An Angel Wrote …

  • Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
  • To handle yourself, use your head, To handle others, use your heart.
  • Anger is one letter short of danger.
  • If someone betrays you once, it’s his fault. If they betray you twice, it’s your fault.
  • Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
  • God gives every bird it’s food, but He does not throw it into it’s nest.
  • He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.
  • Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
  • Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.
  • The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it.
  • Friends, you and me…you brought another friend, and then there were 3. We started our group…Our circle of friends…and like that circle, there is no beginning…there is no end.
  • It’s all about the ride. If I can enjoy myself, bring some degree of happiness to others, and leave things a little better than when I got here, it wasn’t a wasted trip.

~~~

It’s all about the ride. If I can enjoy myself, bring some degree of happiness to others, and leave things a little better than when I got here, it wasn’t a wasted trip.

Rock Cowles

~~~

By the way before I forget, if you are ever around the north side of Indianapolis and have some free time let me know, I would love to buy you coffee. It might be fun to explore our interests.

~~~

At the checkout counter of the department store where I was a cashier, customers frequently asked me under what circumstances items were returnable. One woman who came through my line must have been aware of store policy. She pointed to the lacy red-and-black negligee she was about to purchase. “May I bring this back if it doesn’t work?” she asked.

~~~

The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.

~~~

The Sunday after Christmas, the Sunday School teacher told her students about an angel appearing to Joseph in a dream, warning him about danger to the baby Jesus and telling him how to escape from it.

After the story time, the students were given an opportunity to draw a picture about the story.  Most of the pictures were predictable, but Larry’s had an odd element in it. “Larry, I see Joseph and Mary with the baby Jesus on a donkey, but what is that following the donkey?

“It’s the flea, teacher.”

“Flea…? Ah…what flea?” asked the teacher.

To which the boy faithfully repeated the Bible verse: “Take Mary and Jesus and flea to Egypt.  There’s Mary; there’s Jesus; and there’s the flea.”

~~~

There is in the worst of fortune the best of chances for a happy change.

Euripides

~~~

A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday for coffee and a chat. They drink their coffee and then sit for hours discussing the world situation. Usually, their discussion is very negative. One day, Aaron surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, “You know what? I’ve now become an optimist.”

Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up. But then Sam notices something isn’t quite right and he says to Aaron, “Hold on a minute, if you’re an optimist, why are you looking so worried?”

Aaron replies, “Do you think it’s easy being an optimist?”

~~~

Henny Youngman remarked once that, in his will, he is leaving his body to Julia Roberts. “If she can’t wait, she can have it now,” he added.

~~~

Dorothy & Dana, two blondes, ventured into the woods to bring home a Christmas tree. They were determined not to leave until they found the right tree. They walked for hours in the snow, examining every tree they found. As the afternoon turned into evening, the temperature dropped ten degrees and the wind began to blow. Still no tree.

Finally, Dana piped up: “Listen Dorothy, I really think we’d better take the next tree we see, whether it has lights and decorations on it or not!”

~~~

Does anybody else find it ironic that many couples split up because they haven’t spent enough time together?

~~~

A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the maid. She thought of a plan to take him by surprise. One Friday she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid’s room, switched off all the lights and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the bed. Sure enough at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure opened the door and slipped into the maid’s bed beside her. After a few passionate kisses, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and asked, “Surprised?”

“I sure am, ma’am!” stammered the chauffeur.

~~~

A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.

Charles H. Spurgeon

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Why Worry?

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.

Leo Buscaglia

! 000000 be-happy6

It is distressing for me to meet so many people who seem to be suffering from anxiety. I know these are troubling times with rising crime rates, a fragile economy, international terrorism and a political system in disarray. Yet for most of us our lives are not directly touched by these issues. In truth if we let our anxiety and worries take us down it will be us who suffer. Actually most of us are safer and better off than those who are really suffering.

We all can benefit by putting unfounded fears behind us. Here is something I got from Marc Chernoff a few months ago that is worth reading.

Ways to Find Peace of Mind in Tough Times

See the difference between who YOU are and what you’re going through.

You are more than whatever is troubling you. A very real part of you exists beyond your worries, beyond your doubts, independent from the troubles and frustrations of the present moment. Step back and observe yourself as you experience each moment. Be present. Watch yourself as you think, as you take action, as you experience emotions. Your body may experience pain, and yet that pain is not you. Your mind may encounter troubles, and yet you are not those troubles.

Open up to someone you trust.

You aren’t alone. Let someone special in when you’re in a dark place. You know who this person is. Don’t expect them to solve your problems; just allow them to face your problems with you. Give them permission to stand beside you. They won’t necessarily be able to pull you out of the dark place you’re in, but the light that spills in when they enter will at least show you which way the door is.

Ease your expectations and be present with life’s lessons.

Life is under no obligation to give you exactly what you expect. Whatever it is you’re seeking will rarely ever come in the form you’re expecting. Don’t miss the silver lining because you were expecting gold.

Mistakes and setbacks (and even losses) are simply a form of practice.

You must see and accept things as they are instead of as you hoped, wished, or expected them to be.

Move TOWARDS something instead of AWAY.

“Don’t think about eating that chocolate cookie!” What are you thinking about now? Eating that chocolate cookie, right? When you concentrate on not thinking about something, you end up thinking about it.

The same philosophy holds true when it comes to freeing your mind from a negative past. By persistently trying to move away from what you don’t want, you are forced to think about it so much that you end up carrying it’s weight along with you. But if you instead choose to focus your energy on moving toward something you do want, you naturally leave the negative weight behind as you progress forward.

Bottom line: Instead of concentrating on eliminating the negative, concentrate on creating something positive (that just happens to replace the negative).

Give yourself time.

Take all the time you need. Emotional healing is a process; don’t rush yourself through it. Don’t let others force you through it either. Moving on doesn’t take a day; it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken past and your wounded self.

~~~

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

Epictetus

~~~

The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians: (maybe even yours?)

~ By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better.

~ The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

~ Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

~ Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

~ The patient refused an autopsy.

~ The patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

~ The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

~ She is numb from the toes down.

~ When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the floor.

~~~

:   Sunday, March 13, 2016 began Daylight Savings Time.

Hope you didn’t forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.

~~~

This Marine drill instructor, completely frazzled by the ineptitude of his recruits, burst into a blue streak of swearing hot enough to blister paint.  He broke off suddenly when he noticed one of the recruits had been talking in ranks.

“WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID, RECRUIT??” the drill sergeant hollered.

In a quivering voice, the recruit replied, “I said, to myself, Drill Sergeant Sir, ‘if that sucker thinks I’m going to stand here and take his mess . . . well, he’s certainly an uncanny judge of character.”

~~~

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

“Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But, you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”

During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”

At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star Spangled Banner.”

And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

~~~

Esther: “You’ll be sorry – I’m going to leave you.

Milton: “Make up your mind – which one is it going to be?”

~~~

Dear Sir,

Since taking your body building course, I now have a 44 inch chest, a 32 inch waist, 17 inch biceps and an 18 inch neck. I feel absolutely marvelous but at the same time, I do feel that my chances of marriage are spoiled.

Yours faithfully,

Mary Goldberg

~~~

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.

Winston Churchill

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Another Good Day

After every storm the sun will smile; for every problem there is a solution, and the soul’s indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer.

William R. Alger

! 000000 TodayWasVeneer

As I get older I have learned to appreciate each day. In reality at the end of my day I spend a few moments being grateful for not only making it through another day but for the good things that were part of it.

I can’t do many of the things I use to do. I sure am a lot slower these days but I have learned to appreciate the little things more. Rather than focusing in on any difficulties I may have had I choose to remember the days bright spots. I don’t have to wait for tomorrow for my pleasure since I always find some in my day.

So much in our lives depends on our outlook. Here is a story by  Lee Ryan Miller that I like, I hope you will too.

Who You Are Speaks Louder to Me Than Anything You Can Say

At the beginning of my 8:00 a.m. class one Monday at UNLV, I cheerfully asked my students how their weekend had been.  One young man said that his weekend had not been very good.  He’d had his wisdom teeth extracted.  The young man then proceeded to ask me why I always seemed to be so cheerful. His question reminded me of something I’d read somewhere before:  “Every morning when you get up, you have a choice about how you want to approach life that day,” I said to the young man. “I choose to be cheerful.

“Let me give you an example,” I continued.  The other sixty students in the class ceased their chatter and began to listen to our conversation.  “In addition to teaching here at UNLV, I also teach out at the community college in Henderson, about seventeen miles down the freeway from where I live.  One day a few weeks ago I drove those seventeen miles to Henderson. I exited the freeway and turned onto College Drive.  I only had to drive another quarter-mile down the road to the college. But just then my car died.  I tried to start it again, but the engine wouldn’t turn over.  So I put my flashers on, grabbed my books, and marched down the road to the college.

“As soon as I got there I called AAA and asked them to send a tow truck.  The secretary in the Provost’s office asked me what had happened.  ‘This is my lucky day,’ I replied, smiling.

“‘Your car breaks down and today is your lucky day?’  She was puzzled.  ‘What do you mean?’

 “‘I live seventeen miles from here.’  I replied.  ‘My car could have broken down anywhere along the freeway.  It didn’t.  Instead, it broke down in the perfect place:  off the freeway, within walking distance of here.  I’m still able to teach my class, and I’ve been able to arrange for the tow truck to meet me after class.  If my car was meant to break down today, it couldn’t have been arranged in a more convenient fashion.’

 “The secretary’s eyes opened wide, and then she smiled.  I smiled back and headed for class.” So ended my story to the students in my economics class at UNLV. I scanned the sixty faces in the lecture hall.  Despite the early hour, no one seemed to be asleep.  Somehow, my story had touched them.  Or maybe it wasn’t the story at all.  In fact, it had all started with a student’s observation that I was cheerful.

 A wise man once said, “Who you are speaks louder to me than anything you can say.”  I suppose it must be so.

~~~

The man who radiates good cheer, who makes life happier wherever he meets it, is always a man of vision and faith.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

~~~

It was a beautiful wedding, but the mother of the bride seemed to be taking it too hard. Right after the ceremony, an old friend came up to console her. “Don’t cry,” said the friend. “They say girls marry men like their fathers.”

“I’ve heard that too,” said the mother. “That’s why I’m crying!”

~~~

Men who are getting on in years should console themselves with the thought that when they get too old to set bad examples, they can always start giving advice!

~~~

The widow lay crying on her psychiatrist’s couch. “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.”

“Amazing,” said the doctor. “How did you do it?”

“I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”

~~~

I have my standards.  They may be low, but I have them.

Bette Midler

~~~

The tiresome jury selection process continued, each side hotly contesting and dismissing potential jurors. Don O’Brian was called for his question session.

“Property holder?”

“Yes, I am, Your Honor.”

“Married or single?”

“Married for twenty years, Your Honor.”

“Formed or expressed an opinion?”

“Not in twenty years, Your Honor.”

~~~

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

~~~

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy.  He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Texas. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy’s expense.

The deputy says, ‘License and registration, please.’

‘What for?’ says the lawyer..

The deputy says, ‘You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign.’

Then the lawyer says, ‘I slowed down, and no one was coming.’

‘You still didn’t come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. ‘License and registration, please.’

The lawyer says, ‘What’s the difference?’

‘The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration, please!’ the Deputy repeats.

Lawyer says, ‘If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.’

‘That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,’ the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer and says, ‘Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?

~~~

Let us be of cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never come.

Amy Lowell

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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