Ray's musings and humor

Christmas Past

Ray’s Daily

December 19, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.”

Norman Vincent Peale

TodayI would like to revist Christmas week past so here is Ray’s Daily from December 19, 2003

I think I mentioned the other day how much I appreciate the feeling of the season. When I ring bell’s outside, helping to raise funds for the Salvation Army I am constantly greeted with a Merry Christmas or Happy Holiday’s from men, women, and children of all ages. Yesterday seniors at a local retirement community warmly greeted my fellow Kiwanians as we did our best to sing carols at their morning meal. While I seldom see many of you, the friends I do run into often close our brief meeting with a hug and their good wishes.

Equally important to me is the holiday messages I get from so many of you. As an example one of my heroes is a Doctor now working with the World Health organization outside the U.S. She was instrumental in helping to put together a partnership between Ted Turner’s UN Foundation and Kiwanis International that put $2 million into programs in Africa. She sent me an E-mail this week for which I am grateful

I am sure that many of you have not heard of Albert Schweitzer. He was an unselfish humanitarian who spent much of his life in one of the world’s most difficult places, French Equatorial Africa. He was a Doctor, world class musician, and theologian who gave up fame and fortune to help others who the world had abandoned. Mary, and others like her carry on that tradition. Unsung heroes, often living in the most difficult circumstances, doing for others. Many of you serve others as a profession, personal philosophy, or as a way of life, others of us demonstrate our commitment to others in our daily lives. Humanity is built upon the foundation of people who care, care for their family, care for others, and care for themselves. You are heroes in your own right. Stop for a minute and just think what our world would be like if everyone just turned their back on the needs of others. Thanks for all you do, and especially thanks to those of you who have let me know how you are doing.

~~~

Down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid… He is the hero, he is everything. He must be a complete man and a common man and yet an unusual man. He must be, to use a rather weathered phrase, a man of honor, by instinct, by inevitability, without thought of it, and certainly without saying it. He must be the best man in his world and a good enough man for any world.

Raymond Chandler

~~~

A pick pocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. “Mr. Brewster,” the Judge said, “you are hereby found guilty and fined the sum of $150.”

After consulting with his client, Mr. Brewster’s lawyer stood up and said, “Your Honor, my client is a little short at this time. He has only $125 in his pocket, but if you would allow him a few minutes in the crowd…”

~~~

Surely the finest teachers of creativity, persistence, and unconditional love are children.

~~~

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.

“Not Gutenberg?” Gasped the collector.

“Yes, that was it!”

“You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at an auction for half a million dollars!”

“Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much,” replied the man. “It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther.”

~~~

There is no heavier burden than great potential

Linus (Peanuts)

~~~

** SIGNS YOU NEED A NEW DOCTOR **

– He calls you at two in the morning “just to talk.”

– He keeps accidentally referring to himself as “the defendant.”

– He thinks Eastern Medicine was developed in Brooklyn.

– He tries to color your X-Rays with crayons.

– Your internist thinks that “saline solution ” is taking his yacht to Barbados for 3 weeks.

~~~

She’s always late, in fact, her ancestors arrived on the June flower.

~~~

One evening while I was preparing dinner, my daughter came into the kitchen asking for homework help on her vocabulary words.  “Mom,” she asked, “what’s a quarter horse?”

As I thought of a simple explanation, my five-year-old son piped up, “I know!  It’s the one they have in front of the grocery store.”

~~~

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

~~~

“I have good news and bad news,” the defense attorney told his client. “First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene.”

“Oh, no!” cried the client. “What’s the good news?” “Your cholesterol is only 180.”

~~~

Researchers at Johns Hopkins announced an incredible breakthrough in shoe science.  Solving a puzzle that has eluded scientists for decades, they reported that it’s the left sandal that’s the flip, and the right sandal is the flop.  

Craig Kilborn

~~~

“Intelligent” is a term used to describe someone who agrees with you.

~~~

Needing some clothes cleaned in a hurry, a man searched this small Georgia town in which he was visiting until he found a sign which read: “Cleaning and Pressing, 24-Hour Service.”

After explaining his needs, he said, “I’ll be back for my suit tomorrow.”

“Won’t be ready til Saturday,” replied the proprietor.

“But I thought you had 24-hour service,” the customer protested.

“We do, son,” the proprietor said reproachfully.  “But we only work eight hours a day.  Today’s Thursday – eight hours today, eight hours Friday, eight on Saturday.  That’s 24-hour service.”

~~~

Why Men Shouldn’t Take Messages…Husband’s note to wife:

“Doctor’s office called:  Said Pabst Beer is normal.”

~~~

The Hospital regulations where Betty last worked as a nurse, like most all others, require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. One day Betty, found an elderly gentleman, already dressed and sitting on the bed with an overnight suit case besides him. The guy insisted he didn’t need Betty’s help to leave the hospital.

But after Betty educated him about the hospital rules, and vehemently insisting she would take him down to the hospital exit, he reluctantly agreed to let her wheel him to the elevator.

After they were downstairs and at the exit door, Betty asked if his wife or someone was meeting him and taking him home. “I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”

~~~

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”

Stephen Wright

~~~

Contrary to popular belief, most blondes do indeed know the value of a dollar. The other day a blonde from Atlanta had her car break down. The tow truck driver charged her $65.00 to take the car to the garage less than 10 miles away.

When she told her husband that evening, he said that the driver had taken advantage of her.

She said, “I thought so. But I made him earn it. I kept the brakes on all the way.”

~~~

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”

Voltaire

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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