Ray's musings and humor

Archive for November, 2014

My Special Friend

A true friend sees the first tear… catches the second… and stops the third

Angelique

 ! friendship

I don’t think I ever told you about my special friend. For most of my life I convinced myself I was too busy to spend much time with him. That changed about twenty years ago when I realized I really needed his friendship. Now he is with me all the time. If I start to do something questionable he is the one who asks “do you really want to do this?” Often that is all it takes to rethink what I was doing and more times than not make a change.

He is the one who brought me through my many serious medical encounters by reminding me that they were only temporary interruptions in my pretty good life and that I would recover and move on. In our more leisure time he reminds me that most people are good people and many can use a friend so I should be one if they will let me. Sometimes he can be a little pushy when he wakes me to make sure I get up to exercise early each weekday morning.

In truth I owe a lot of my good fortune to my special friend. You see my special friend is me and I am grateful that he decided to stay with me all these years.

Here is something Marc Chernoff has written that includes the kind of things my special friend tells me each day.

  1. You are educated enough to read this. Believe it or not, there are roughly 774 million people in the world who don’t have this ability.  That’s a significant percentage of the human population.  Literacy is the bridge that closes the gap between discouragement and confidence, between confusion and understanding, and between sadness and hope.  It’s the greatest platform of personal growth, and the means by which every human being can realize their full potential.
  2. You are reasonably healthy. – In other words, if you got sick today you could recover. Never underestimate the gift of your health.  It’s the greatest wealth you will ever own.  It’s the foundation for every chance at happiness and success life has to offer.  Your body is the only place you will truly ever live. Too often we focus on the negatives.  We think about how hard it will be and all the sacrifices that must be made.  But one of life’s greatest joys and one the primary benefits of good health comes from focusing on the positives of a healthy lifestyle – what we gain through living and feeling well.
  3. You have the freedom to choose. – If you often worry about what you’re going to do with your life – your career, your family, the next step, etc., be grateful. All details aside, this means you have ambition, passion, drive, and the freedom to make your own decisions.  In the space between your yes and no, there’s liberation.  It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one others want you to walk; it’s the gap between who you could become and who you want to be.
  4. You have enough wealth to live comfortably. – You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You awoke this morning with a roof over your head.  You had a choice of what clothes to wear.  You have access to clean drinking water and electricity.  You are online right now.  You have plenty to be comfortable.  Being wealthy is a mindset.  Be sure you understand this.  Want less and appreciate more.
  5. You still have a chance. – Time is precious. Everything you know is ending.  Not yet, but soon enough.  What you must decide is what you want to do with the time you have left.  If your lifespan were to expire this evening at the stroke of midnight, would you be at ease with how you have spent your time today?  Nothing is guaranteed.  Someday, like many others are experiencing right this second, your time will expire.  Don’t be afraid.  Be alive in this moment and make the most of it.  Right now is your chance. 

~~~

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.”

William Shakespeare

~~~

More signs in our time:

Veterinarians Waiting Room:     Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

The Electric Company:           We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.

Diner Window:                   Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

Cafeteria:                      Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

Funeral Home:                   Drive carefully, we’ll wait.

~~~

Looking at his portly patient, the doctor hands him a prescription and says,

“Mr. Jones, you should make sure that you try to take these pills on an empty stomach…if such an opportunity ever presents itself!”

~~~

A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn’t they just throw out the pest.

“Oh I don’t care.” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”

~~~

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you’re asleep.

~~~

“An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?”

“Sure,” a teenage boy replied. “My father’s new car.”

~~~

When I’m good, I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better!

Mae West

~~~

My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie’s house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.

“But, Mom,” he said, brightening, “you don’t have to worry about buying another one. Charlie’s mother said it was irreplaceable.”

~~~

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can’t stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you’re down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times an dthe confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend hold your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end.

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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Join me in appreciation of what we have

“Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not, but reckon up the chief of the blessings you do possess, and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were not yours.”

Marcus Aurelius

 ! thankful quote

Tomorrow is a National Holiday in my country. The last Thursday in November each year is set aside as a time when we can reflect on how fortunate we really are. It is our annual Thanksgiving Day. Many will celebrate the day by feasting with family and friends. Others less fortunate will partake of community dinners offered to those who might otherwise go hungry.

For me it is the opportunity to realize all I have to be thankful for this year. I survived two major life threatening illnesses. I am also grateful that my lifelong partner returned home after a series of hospital stays feeling better than ever.

It has been a year of appreciating old friends and making new ones. And while I had to limit some of my activities I benefitted by being better able to manage my time. Also, though I did have to resign from some of the volunteer posts I have held I have still been able to help contribute to some of the exciting things going on in my city.

For me Thanksgiving day is a time to recognize the good things in my life and provides the first opportunity to realize just how good my life is as I begin another twelve months to share my appreciation each day through Ray’s Daily. Here is a story that reminded me of the importance valuing all we have.

 

There will be no Daily tomorrow; I will be joining good friends for Thanksgiving

Be thankful for what you have

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help.” There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”

The man said, “I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.”

I wrote: “Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it.”

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have!. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling. And even more beautiful, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

Catch yourself when you start complaining about what you don’t have. Remember, where there is life, there is hope.

Enjoy your day with a heart of gratitude.

~~~

When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.

Tecumseh

~~~

3 friends die in a car crash, they go to heaven and attend an orientation meeting.

They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and Friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was the great doctor of my time, and a great family man.”

The second says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”

The last fellow replies, “I would like to hear them say……LOOK, HE’S MOVING!!!!!”

~~~

“I loaned a guy ten thousand dollars to get plastic surgery – now I can’t find him – I don’t know what he looks like.”

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team’s response times.

“Since we installed our new satellite navigation system,” bragged the first one, “we cut our emergency response time by ten percent.”

The other paramedics nodded in approval.  “Not bad,” the second paramedic commented.  “But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we’ve cut our average ERT by 20 percent.”

Again, the other team members gave their congratulations, until the third paramedic said, “That’s nothing! Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we’ve cut our emergency response time in half!”

~~~

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?

Steven Wright

~~~

Eager to make her mark in the world of business, the attractive new MBA took a job as executive assistant to the middle aged owner of a fast-growing computer software company. She found the work challenging and the travel interesting, but was extremely annoyed by her boss’s tendency to treat her in public as though she were his girlfriend rather than a professional associate. This was especially irritating in restaurants, where he would insist on ordering for her, and on calling her “dearest” or “darling” within earshot of the waiters.

When she told him how much it bothered her, he promised to stop, but the patronizing behavior continued. Finally, as he led her into a four-star restaurant, she took matters into her own hands. “Where would you like to sit, sweetheart?” he asked, with a wink at the maitre’d. “Gee,” she replied, “anywhere you say, Dad.”

~~~

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you”

Sarah Ban Breathnack

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Long-Distance Friendships

It’s amazing how one person can make you feel so special even though they live so far away.

 ! distance friendship

Each week I get notified that new readers are picking up Ray’s Daily. This is its fifteenth year and it keeps gaining readership. I never really know how many readers there are as it is distributed in a number of different ways. I do hear from some folks occasionally when they comment on something they read or on an action they took because of an idea they got from the Daily. Others send me things they believe I would like and I do appreciate hearing form them.

The Daily is posted on WordPress where it is widely read with many folks who subscribe as followers. I have only recently learned the details of the readership. For example the majority of the readers are from the USA which was no surprise. I did not expect however that the second most readers are from Italy, followed by India, the UK and Canada. In total it has been read by people in over 140 countries including Zimbabwe, Cameroon, Gibraltar, the Isle of Man and Madagascar.

I have been surprised that something I started so many years ago as way to stay in touch with friends has grown to what it is today. Even if we have never met I still think of every reader as a long distance friend.

I think we all benefit when we nurture friendships no matter the distances involved. I am sure not everyone wants to publish their own Daily but if you have some friends that you don’t want to drift away you might try these ideas that were published on the East and Blog.

 Tips for Maintaining Long-Distance Friendships

SET CALENDAR REMINDERS

When you get off the phone with someone, set a calendar reminder in your phone (with an alert) for your next call. You won’t suddenly turn in to every day talkers, but maybe skip ahead 4 weeks and add the reminder. It’ll help keep 6 months from going by accidentally.

EMBRACE SNAIL MAIL

Nothing reminds someone that you miss them like a handwritten card. My favorite place to find cute, quality cards is T.J. Maxx or Marshalls. One trick is to pre-address and stamp several cards at once. Then later all you have to do is write a quick note, stuff it, seal it, and pop it in the mail.

HAVE YOUR NEXT VISIT IN MIND

When my bestie Kaylin and I see each other, we make it a point to make a guesstimate on when we’ll see each other next.

TEXT THE LITTLE THINGS, EVEN IF YOU THINK THEY’RE DUMB

If something makes you think of a friend or a funny memory you shared together, send them a quick text. If something ridiculous happens to you, send a quick text.

ACCEPT THAT THINGS HAVE CHANGED

For a long time I felt guilty about not maintaining as many friendships as I thought I would. The thing is, there are many friends who I haven’t figured out how to fit in to my new life. We’ve never gotten in to the groove of being daily texters. It’s simply not possible to keep dozens of people up to date on day-to-day life. So those are the marathon phone call friends. But sometimes, they’re the people you look back on fondly on the occasion that you think of them.

Losing touch doesn’t have to mean you weren’t great friends. Perhaps your friendship with each other served a purpose during a certain point in your life (say, college) and now you have other people filling that purpose. It isn’t that you didn’t love each other. It’s not that the whole friendship is a failure. It evolved. And sometimes people evolve away from each other.

~~~

Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.

Rod McKuen

~~~

A guy once wandered into a Jewish restaurant and ordered roast chicken. It arrived complete with potatoes and a few sundries, and the diner looked at it without much favor. He said to the waiter, “Don’t I get a green vegetable?”

And the waiter said, “And what color is the pickle? Purple?”

~~~

Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.

Rita Mae Brown

~~~

A Mom and Dad went to a restaurant one evening. Dad was about halfway finishing his meal when took a hard look at the potato.

He called the waitress and said, “This potato is bad.”

The waitress picked it up, smacked it, and put it back on the plate, then said, “If that potato causes any more trouble just let me know.”

~~~

“Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking.”

Henry Louis Mencken

~~~

One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.

The mechanical engineer said, “I think a rod broke.”

The chemical engineer said, “The way it sputtered at the end, I think it’s not getting enough gas.”

The electrical engineer said, “I think there was a spark and something’s wrong with the electrical system.”

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, “What do you think?”

The computer engineer said, “I think we should all get out and then get back in.”

~~~

“The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.”

Robert Frost

~~~

Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out, “Okay, everyone in the house, please be advised that I, Little Johnny, have on this date made a complete fool of myself in sex education class by repeating stories concerning storks as told to me by certain parties residing in this house!”

~~~

A mother may hope that her daughter will get a better husband that she did, but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did.

~~~

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.

“All right children, let’s take another example,” she said. “If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?”

Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, “you’d be his wife!”

~~~

“There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.”

Diana Cortes

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Try being yourself, you’ll be glad you did

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

! be-yourself

Over the past few years I have changed my life style through vigorous exercise and better nutrition. I wish I could attribute the change to finding the value of good health rather than as a result a series of major problems; a few which took me close to death. I always knew that I didn’t need to drink so much, smoke so much or eat so much but shifting to a good health program was always something that I was committed to do in that elusive someday. Then someday become one day and I went into a cardio rehabilitation program and never stopped doing the right stuff.

Too often we think that the answer to a better life depends only on good health when in reality it is a combination of good health and a good mindset. Too many of us spend our days feeling bad because of other people who seem to enjoy being negative. If these critics were not bad enough many of us pile on self-criticism as well. Once I decided I could continue to do my best without worrying about what others thought I found the freedom to enjoy my life without letting others dampen my spirits. So like I said before, this is as good as I get, whether it is good enough in your eyes is up to you.

Here are some thoughts from Marc Chernoff that I think are right on, do you too?

 You can’t live a positive life around negative people.

Sadly, some people are so entrenched in seeing the negative side of things that they leave zero room for positive things to grow.  People like this inhabit our families, work environments and social circles.  It can be emotionally draining just being around them, and you must be careful because their negative attitudes and opinions are venomous and contagious.  Negativity perpetuates itself, breeds dissatisfaction and clutters the mind.  And when the mind is cluttered with negativity, happiness is hard to come by.

Stop giving credit to those who discredit your dreams.

These people are punishing your potential by slowly extinguishing your inner flame with their watered down vision of what you are capable of achieving.

If you give in and let their negativity convince you of who you are, their madness will wither you away.  You will morph into who they say you are, rather than living honestly as yourself.  In this way, these people will steal your life from you.  You will lose track of where their opinion ends and your reality begins.  Their fiction will become your life’s story.

What you’re capable of is not a function of what others think is possible for you.  So look beyond their presumptions and mental limitations, and connect with your own best vision of what YOU are capable of and how YOUR life can be.  Life, after all, is an open-ended journey, and 99% what you achieve comes directly from what you work to achieve on a daily basis.

Wake-up call!  Yes, sadly, the inner critic is inside YOU.

Unrelenting self-criticism often goes hand in hand with unhappiness and anxiety, and it’s completely unjustified.  There is no reason to be your own biggest critic – to harp on yourself for your shortcomings.  All you really need is the courage to be yourself.  Your real value is rooted in who you are, not who you aren’t.

The flaws you often see in yourself are only the qualities of your own individuality.  There is something unique and special about you.  You are different.  You will never be as good as someone else, and they will never be as good as you.  Just as no two snowflakes are alike, your fingerprints are different from every other being on Earth.  You are meant to be different.  You are here to express who you are and enjoy what you have at this very moment.  When you accept this, there is no reason to compare yourself to someone or something you aren’t.  There is nothing for the inner critic to complain about.

~~~

“The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.”

Leo Buscaglia

~~~

Doctor:  I see you’re over a month late for your appointment.  Don’t you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What’s your excuse?

Patient:  I was just following your orders, Doc.

Doctor:  Following my orders?  What are you talking about? I gave you no such order.

Patient:  You told me to avoid people who irritate me.

~~~

Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.

~~~

On Sunday morning after a lifeless service, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.  It was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

Seven year old Alex had been staring at the plaque for some time so the pastor walked up, stood beside him, and said, “What are you looking at, Alex?”  “This thing on the wall.” He replied.  “What is it?”  “It is a memorial to all the young men and women who died in service.” The pastor answered. As they stood together staring at the plaque Alex inquired, “Pastor, which service did they die in – morning or evening?”

~~~

“My kid drives me nuts. For three years now he goes to a private school, He won’t tell me where it is.”

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

SIGNS YOU’VE ENTERED THE ERA OF “OLD AGE”

  1. You sit down to breakfast and hear “Snap, Crackle, and Pop”….and you haven’t even poured milk on your cereal yet.
  2. You get up to change the TV channel and decide as long as you’re up, you might as well go to bed.
  3. You start complaining that “They’re building car seats too darn low!”
  4. Your ears perk up when a LAXATIVE COMMERCIAL comes on TV.
  5. You call the place you keep leftovers the “ICEBOX”.
  6. No matter where you sit, no matter where you are, THERE’S ALWAYS A DRAFT ON YOU!
  7. You complain that the cleaners has started shrinking your clothes.
  8. You wonder why everyone else is starting to MUMBLE.
  9. Lawn care has become a pretty BIG part of your life.
  10. Your underwear starts creeping up on you … AND YOU ENJOY IT!

~~~

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

~~~

“Get this.” said a guy to his friends, “Last night, while I was down at the bar with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.

“Did he get anything?” his friends asked.

“Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk.”

~~~

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

Jennifer Unlimited

~~~

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

“Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life,” her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, “So why is the groom wearing black?”

~~~

“How many more of us are faking the facade? How many more of us are pretending to be something we’re not? Even better, how many of us will have the courage to be ourselves regardless of what others think?”

Katie McGarry

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Don’t Wait!

“‘Someday’ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you.”

Timothy Ferriss

 ! don't wait

The other day I mentioned my concern about the folks who never really get into the race, people who often never leave the starting line. I have also bemoaned the fact that so many of us excuse ourselves for our inaction by believing that a perfect moment to start will come.

Over the years I have seen many missed opportunities go by due to decision makers spending more time on talking about why not rather than let’s try it and see. These are the people that will tell you that what you might do failed in the past without understanding that today is not the same as yesterday and that often the new day provides fertile ground for replanting.

I love the risk takers, those who combine their experience and skill with a commitment to action. These folks study the land examine the potential for success and then act if there is reasonable chance for success. History has shown that these are the people who built our world and provided many of the good things in our lives.

Like the great explorers, they took the first step and as they journeyed adjusted their routes as needed. Few can make and implement a plan so perfect that it never needs some adjustment. So in reality the only thing keeping many of us from some exciting moments is our unwillingness to start.

 One Step

Author Unknown

Foolish people with all their other thoughts, have this one too: They are always getting ready to live, but never living.

Your success will start when you begin to pursue it. To reach your goal or to attain success, you don’t need to know all of the answers in advance. You just need to have a clear idea of what your goal is.

Don’t procrastinate when faced with difficult problems. Break your problems into parts, and handle one part at a time.

Develop tendencies toward taking action. You can make something happen right now. Divide your big plan into small steps and take that first step right away.

Everyone who ever got where they are had to begin where they were. Your big opportunity is where you are right now.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Take it.

~~~

”Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.”

Unknown

~~~

More signs of the times:

Podiatrist’s Window:    Time wounds all heels.

Sign on Fence:          Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.”

Car Dealership:         The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.

Muffler Shop:           No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.

Hotel:                  Help!” We need inn – experienced people.

Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?

Sign in an office:      We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.

~~~

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

~~~

“College Tidbits”

*”Eight long years of college.” moaned the budding Yuppette. “And just who has it gotten me?”

* One of the professors at Vassar requested medical leave for the day. In the space listing reason for request, she put, “Perrier on the knee.”

* Father: “Son, I’m very worried about you being at the bottom of your class.”  Son: “Don’t fret Dad. They teach the same stuff to both ends.”

* In a way, colleges & insane asylums are both mental institutions.  The major difference being you have to show some improvement to “graduate” from an asylum.

* A student comes back to the dorm & finds his roommate near tears. “What’s the matter, pal?” he asked.  “I wrote home for my parents to send money so that I could buy a laptop, and they sent me the laptop.” he moaned.

~~~

“If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.

Morris West

~~~

A North Carolina man, having bought several expensive cigars, insured them against… get this… fire. After he had smoked them, he then decided that he had a claim against the insurance company and filed. The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigar normally. The man sued. The judge stated that since the company had insured the cigars against fire, they were obligated to pay. After the man accepted payment for his claim, the company then had him arrested ….. for arson.

~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

Annie replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

~~~

The preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church.

“Good morning, Jonathan,” the preacher said as he reached out to shake Joanthan’s hand.

As he was doing do he felt something in the palm of Jonathan’s hand. “What’s this?” the preacher asked.

“Money,” said Jonathan with a big smile on his face, “It’s for you!”

“I don’t want to take your money, Jonathan,” the preacher answered.

“I want you to have it,” said Jonathan. After a short pause Jonathan continued, “My daddy says you’re the poorest preacher we ever had and I want to help you.”

~~~

Half the people you know are below average.

~~~

The kids said:

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?

“Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other.” (Judy, 8)

“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.” (Tommy, 5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 10)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” (Jim, 10)

“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” (Kally, 9)

~~~

Don’t Wait!

Start on your dreams, your impulses, your longings, your special occasions today. Because this is your moment.

Mary Anne Radmacher

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Make it a good one

“The day is what you make it! So why not make it a great one?”

Steve Schulte

! positive-attitude-quotes

As many of you know I have had the good fortune to meet and sometimes even work with some really special people from all walks of life. They have been college professors, wellness teachers, clerks, well known entertainers, government leaders, public health leaders and many others.

The one thing that those who did amazing things had in common was a positive attitude. I am always saddened by those who don’t think positively for they often lose the race before it even begins; in fact many never even leave the starting line.

I am sometimes accused of being overly optimistic and I may very well be but I would rather try and fail then stay seated on the side lines. In my experience the people with positive attitudes sometimes surprise themselves by how much they are able to accomplish. They are also usually happy folks that are fun to be with.

 

I found the following article on Short Stories 101 that inspires me I hope it will inspire you too:

 Attitude Determines Attitude

Author Unknown

 I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

  • Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.
  • Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.
  • Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.
  • Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.
  • Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.
  • Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.
  • Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.
  • Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.
  • Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel honored because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.
  • Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

~~~

“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.”

Anthony Robbins

~~~

Two lawyers went into a diner and sat down at the counter. They ordered two sodas, took sandwiches out of their briefcases and started to eat them.

The owner saw what was going on and approached the men. “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here,” he complained.

The two lawyers stopped, looked at each other, and then swapped their sandwiches.

~~~

A rock <– me –> A hard place

~~~

Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. “Reverend,” she wailed, “John and I had a DREADFUL fight!”

“Calm down, my child,” said the minister, “it’s not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!”

“I know, I know!” said Joanna. “But what am I going to do with the BODY?”

~~~

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

~~~

Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man named Steve. He would complain about everything. That day he went to their creek with his mule. He complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death. At the funeral, when all the men walked by the wife she shook her head yes and every time the women walked by she shook her head no. The minister asked ”Why are you shaking your head yes for men and no for women?” Her response was, ”The men would say how sorry they felt for me and I was saying, ‘Yes, I’ll be alright.’ When the women walked by, they were asking if the mule is for sale.”

~~~

It’s not hard to meet expenses; they’re everywhere.

~~~

She said:

My mother never let me help much in the kitchen.  As a result, my cooking ability was practically non-existent when I got married. But, I did remember mother mentioning to her friends that she did make cakes, pies and other things from scratch.  So my first priority after the honeymoon, was to locate some scratch.

With mother’s delicious cakes in mind, my first trip to the supermarket was to buy some scratch.  I found the aisle that read — Baking Items.  I spent a good 15 minutes looking at everything from vegetable oil, sugar, flour and chocolate without seeing a sign of scratch.  I was sure it wouldn’t be with the pickles or the meat.  I asked the clerk if they carried scratch.  He looked at me funny and finally said, “You’ll have to go to the store on the corner.”

When I got there, it turned out to be a feed store.  I thought it rather strange, but I decided cakes were food.  “Do you have scratch?” I asked the clerk.

He asked me how much I wanted.  I suggested a pound or two.  His reply was, “How many chickens do you have?  It only comes in 20 pound bags.” I really didn’t understand why he mentioned chickens, but I had heard mother say she made chicken casserole from scratch.  So, I bought 20 pounds and hurried home.

My next problem was to find a recipe calling for scratch.  I went through every single page of my lovely “Better Homes and Gardens” Cookbook — a wedding gift.  I looked and looked for a recipe using scratch.  There I was with 20 pounds and no recipe.

When I opened the scratch, I had doubts that a beautiful, fluffy cake would ever result from such a hard looking ingredient.  I hoped with the addition of liquids and heat the result would be successful.  I had no need to mention my problem to my new husband. He had suggested very early in our marriage that he liked to cook and would gladly take over anytime.  One day he made a pie and when I told him how good it was, he said that he made it from scratch.

That assured me that it could be done.

Being a new bride is scary and when I found out he made pies, cakes, and even lemon pudding from scratch well, if he made all those things from scratch, I was sure he had bought a 20 pound bag of scratch also.  But, I couldn’t find where he stored it, and I checked my supply.  It was still full!  At this point I was ready to give up because all the people knew about scratch except me.  I decided to try a different approach.  One day when my husband was not doing anything, I said, “Honey, I wish you’d bake a cake.” He got out the flour, sugar, eggs, milk and shortening.  But, not a sign of scratch.  I watched him blend it together, pour it into a pan and slide it into the oven to bake.  An hour later, as we were eating the cake, I looked at him and smiled and said, “Honey, why don’t we raise a few chickens?”

~~~

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I hope you like yourself as much as I like you

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Buddha

! easy-on-self

The other day I admitted to feeling a little guilty for not being able to do as much as I use too. I have learned that I am not the only one who sometimes beats up on themselves. I quit trying to please everyone years ago and I am learning that I don’t have to over perform to please myself. And let me tell you life is better when you show yourself some understanding.

I am a regular reader of The Positivity Blog and especially liked these thoughts from an article by Henrik Edberg.

 Go Easy on Yourself

One common way to get things done, to achieve and to motivate yourself is to be kind of hard on yourself. To set very high standards for yourself that you want to stick to every time. Now, this way of going about things can indeed help you to accomplish big things in your life and to get things done every week. But it comes at a price.

Three negative things about taking this position towards yourself are:

  • You tear your self-esteem down. As you achieve things you tend to tear down your own self-esteem at the same time. So you feel less and less like you deserve success. And frustration and being angry can become more and more common as you fail to reach those very high standards.
  • You suck the fun and excitement out of things. A hard or harsh attitude towards yourself has a tendency to make things that used to be fun and exciting less and less so. This attitude does instead over time turn those things into just work that you may start to dread because you fear failure or not meeting your high standards.
  • You’ll perform worse and worse. As your self-esteem goes down you’ll feel less motivated to tackle the tasks and projects in your life. As the fun and excitement goes out of many of the things you do procrastination tends to become more and more common. Plus, the work you put in becomes less energetic and focused and so the results aren’t that good anymore either.

So what can you do if you feel that you are maybe too hard on yourself or you beat yourself up quite often? Here are 4 tips that helped me to become kinder towards myself, to get more of the most important things done and to feel better about myself and my life.

  1. Remind yourself of the negative effects of this attitude.

To just remind yourself of how damaging being hard on yourself has been is in my experience a very effective way to replace the old habit with going easier on yourself.

  1. Go for more human and smarter standards for yourself.

Movies, books and the people around you may push standards on you that are just pure fantasy or some kind of perfect dream. But life is life, not a fantasy or dream and to set such extremely high standards that no one can live up to just leads to what you may see as failure and disappointment in yourself and in your life. Instead, relax a bit and accept that everything and everyone has flaws and things don’t always go as planned.

Accept that you can still improve things but they will never be perfect. And realize that you won’t be rejected if things or you aren’t perfect.

  1. Focus on the positive and helpful feedback in setbacks.

It is very common to be hard on yourself when you make a mistake or fail. But it is also a very destructive habit because it can magnify one such event into something that makes you feel depressed for weeks or makes you quit altogether. So when you are hard on yourself for a failure or mistake then relax a bit and go a bit easier on yourself.

  1. Celebrate your small steps of progress.

If you are in the habit of only celebrating when you reach a big milestone or a perfect moment or two then you may lose your motivation and feel like you are never happy or arriving where you want to be. So make a habit of celebrating your small daily and weekly successes too. This will help you to keep the soul-tiring monotony away and help you to stay enthusiastic instead of getting more and more unmotivated until you may even consider quitting halfway to that big milestone.

~~~

“People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it.”

Edith Schaeffer

~~~

More of life’s lessons:

I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing “Silent Night”. Age 6

I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. Age 9

I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. Age 14

I’ve learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice. Age 24

I’ve learned…that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it. Age 39

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. Age 52

I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. Age 58

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. Age 62

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision. Age 66

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. Age 82

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch–holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. Age 85

~~~

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

~~~

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn’t get pregnant again.”

Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?”

Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Earline with me.”

~~~

“I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.”

George S. Kaufman

~~~

A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to the impresario. “I have the most unusual act,” he announces. “I’m sure it will amaze you.”

He proceeds to climb a tall tower, and jumps off. He flaps his arms wildly, and finally his fall slows. He soars forward, then swoops upward, turns and swoops back again. Finally, he stops in midair and gently lowers himself to the ground.

The impresario stares blankly at him for a long time. Finally he says, “Is that all you’ve got? Bird imitations?”

~~~

To help yourself, you must be yourself. Be the best that you can be. When you make a mistake, learn from it, pick yourself up and move on.

Dave Pelzer

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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