Ray&#039;s Daily

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Category:

Caring

Ray’s Daily

December 29, 2020

“If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me”

W. H. Auden

A Post from Happier Days

Ray’s Daily first posted on December 29, 2005

A friend and I were ringing bells for the Salvation Army’s Christmas fund last week. It is something I always enjoy doing since it provides me the opportunity to see people as they really are. Too often we judge people by their outward image without ever seeing who they really are below the surface. Let’s face it we all sometimes judge someone else on the basis of our own prejudice and unfortunately we are wrong more often then not. It is on these occasions that I learn how good hearts come in many disguises.

I am drifting again, I really wanted to tell you how much I enjoy spending time with my fellow bell ringers and the other night was no exception. As always we talked about this and that, things that we don’t talk about when we don’t have hours to spend together. My pal shared with me her concern for a friend of hers who is despondent and unhappy in her marriage of only three years.

Our conversation got me thinking about relationships. As relationships mature things change and often we change as well. Sometimes we become more dependent on our partner and sometimes we become more independent. Too often problems arise when couples move in different directions as their relationship matures. Sadly too many fail to understand and support their partner as they grow and pursue interests different than their own. Generally love is still in place, it just takes on a different face, too often it is a face we don’t recognize.

Why is it that so many of us profess our love for another and then require them to conform to our wishes? We all have the capacity to build relationships based upon mutual affection and understanding, I know that the people I care about still care about me even when I am off pursuing my own interests. I also know I am happiest when they find pleasure in their pursuits. Life is much more pleasant when those we care about live their lives without facing any jealousy, fear, or unfounded criticism from us.

Passion fades and over time we may express our love for each other differently then we once did. Happily true affection and compatibility can grow as each year passes by. While the wine may not be as strong, it is so much sweeter. This does not mean that romance dies; it only means that we might run through the daisies on a spring day a little slower than we once did, but that is OK since it gives us a chance to see things we might have missed otherwise.

~~~

“Affection, like melancholy, magnifies trifles; but the magnifying of the one is like looking through a telescope at heavenly objects; that of the other, like enlarging monsters with a microscope.”

Pope Paul VI

~~~

Doug: I know you’re crazy about that little daughter of yours. What are you going to do when she starts to date?

Bill: I figure I’ll take the first young man aside, put my arm around his shoulder, and pull him close to me so that only he can hear. Then I’ll say, “Do you see that sweet, little young lady? She’s my only daughter, and I love her very much. If you were thinking about touching, kissing, or being physically affectionate to her in any way, just remember this: I don’t mind going back to prison.”

~~~

Can our minds exist separately from our bodies?

If they could, we’d just send our minds to work and sleep in every morning.

~~~

SHE SAID THAT AT LAST, SOMEONE SUMMED IT UP….

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW … WHO THE HECK UNDERSTANDS MEN??

~~~

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

John Barrymore

~~~

She said: A man called the government office where I work and requested an estimate of his benefits upon retirement. After I gave him the information, he went on to inquire about his wife’s benefits. I asked if she had ever worked.

“She has worked all her life making me happy,” he replied.

That was nice, I commented, but had she ever contributed to a pension plan?

“No,” he said. “We made an agreement when we got married. I would make the living and she would make the living worthwhile.”

~~~

Why get a Philosophy degree?

It’s more respectable than a theatre degree, but you still get to drink lots of espresso.

~~~

She said: Waiting for our aerobics class to begin, several of us were standing around in our leotards chatting about fitness and diets. One woman said that her brother-in-law had quit smoking, gone on a diet and lost weight all at the same time.

Thinking to myself that no human being could possibly do this without acquiring at least one other undesirable habit for compensation, I jokingly asked her, “What did he start doing instead of these things?”

After a slight pause, she smiled and said, “Well, my sister is pregnant now.”

~~~

It’s not hard to meet expenses, they’re everywhere.

~~~

Mrs. Rosen is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall.

The next day, she says to the painter, “You want to see where my husband put his hand last night?”

He sighs and says, “Look, lady, I got a tough day’s work ahead of me. Why don’t you just make us a cup of tea?”

~~~

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Bernard Manning

~~~

As I left the grocery store, I noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band.

“I’ll buy a chocolate bar on one condition,” I said to the boys. “You eat it for me.”

I bought one and handed the candy back to one of the boys.

He shook his head. “I can’t,” he said.

“Why not?”

Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, “I’m not supposed to take candy from strangers.”

~~~

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.

That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.

Emily Kimbrough

~~~

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Category:

Better Days Ahead

Ray’s Daily

December 28, 2020

A heart to resolve, a head to contrive, and a hand to execute.

Edward Gibbon

I hope you enjoyed the holidays. Mine were done while alone and for the first time without my wife and family. It was not easy to stay positive but I am grateful that our children and grandchildren are free of infection and are capable of continuing gainful activities.

It has been difficult staying separated from my wife but she is being well taken care of and we speak via telephone twice a day. We miss being together but sixty-seven years of marriage has provided the memories we need to stay grateful for all our time together.

It was tough to use my memories as an antidote for loneliness but I find that focusing on what I don’t have is debilitating. I look forward to the better days ahead as I am sure you do. As I think about 2021 I have found that commiting to the suggestions in the following article is a good start for my new year.

10 Proven Habits of Happy People

LOLLY DASKAL

1. They smell the roses. Those who are happiest know how to stop and be present in the moment. They slow down and pay attention and don’t live inside their screens. They know that each moment matters, and they savor all the experiences of life. Even in hard times, they don’t try to escape but instead find something beautiful or positive to focus on.

2. They don’t sweat the small stuff. The happiest people focus their efforts only on things that meet two tests: It has to be truly important, and it has to be within their control. Learning to ignore things you can’t do anything about, or that aren’t a good use of your time, is one of the surest ways to being happy.

3. They persist in challenging times. Happy people thrive on challenges. They see failure not as a bad ending but as the setup to trying again, to a new and better-informed effort. They understand that difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. Those who can move past, let go, and work with what they have turn out to be not only the happiest people but also the most successful, because they know how to persist in challenging times.

4. They commit to their goals and visions. Those who are happiest dream big, then turn their dreams into goals and get to work achieving them. They understand that either of these elements without the other is cause for frustration and dissatisfaction. You have to first determine what it is you want and why you want it, then commit everything you have to attaining it.

5. They surround themselves with happy people. Happy people know that the company you choose has a huge impact on how you feel, what you think, and how you act. Being around positive people gives you a positive outlook, and negative people are just as infectious. It may not be possible to completely avoid exposure to negative and chronically unhappy people, but you can minimize the effects by refusing to engage in their patterns of thinking.

6. They take care of their bodies. The body and the mind are connected, so if you don’t take care of your physical energy, your mental energy cannot flourish. When you nourish your body with sound sleep, good food, and exercise, you nurture your soul.

7. They develop coping strategies. Our characters are shaped by how we react to circumstances–especially when things go bad. A strong arsenal of coping strategies lets happy people deal positively with challenges. Being prepared for tough times keeps life’s problems from becoming overwhelming, and good management of bad experiences leads to growth and happiness.

8. They give more than they take. The happiest people prefer giving to receiving. They know the more they give, the more they have. Generosity and a commitment to helping others generates happiness and drives success. The very best way to be happy is to lose yourself in giving to others.

9. They stand at the edge of discomfort. Achievement doesn’t happen without taking risks, and the happiest people are never content to hang around where they’re comfortable. They don’t wait for the perfect moment–they make the moment perfect with their willingness to be uncomfortable.

10. They nurture their relationships. It is almost impossible to be happy in the absence of deep meaningful relationships. Connection with others fosters happiness, and nurturing relationships in a way that builds deep connection–allowing people into your life–allows them to accept your past, support your present, and encourage your future.

If you want to be happier–and really, who doesn’t want to be happier?–measure yourself against these 10 habits, pick a starting place, and get to work. The payoff is tremendous.

~~~

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.

Helen Keller

~~~

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman.

Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

The man replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign!”

The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”

~~~

Steven Wright saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

~~~

It was a small town and the Catholic Priest, the Protestant Minister and the Jewish Rabbi were very good friends. Of course, there was a lot of kidding and joking between them all year long.

To their surprise, the Catholic Priest and Protestant Minister received a Christmas card from the Rabbi.

It read:

Roses are reddish

Violets are bluish

When the Messiah really comes

You’ll wish you were Jewish.

~~~

A crisis is when you can’t say “Lets forget the whole thing”.

~~~

Mr. Smythe was giving his second-grade students a short lesson in science. He explained about magnets and demonstrated how they pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time…

“Class,” said Mr. Smythe, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick things up…. What am I?”

A little boy in the front row said, “You’re a mother!”

~~~

Is it because light travels faster than sound why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

~~~

A loaded mini van pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.

A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters’ father, “That, sir, is some display of teamwork.”

The father replied, “I have a system; no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up.”

~~~

The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn, and shine with increasing clearness on your path.

Jim Rohn

~~~

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Category:

Merry Christmas

Ray’s DailyDaily

December 23, 2020

“Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most.”

Ruth Carter Stapleton

Nancy and Ray

Ray and the Daily are going to spend the next few days doing our best to enjoy our Christmas. It will be the first time doing it electronicly as we are still isolated due to the Covid 19 epi9demic. I hope you have happy holidays and I will be back next Monday. I do appreciate those who are friends, aquantences and of course family. My very best to you all.

Top Ten Habits that Help You Manage Your Stress

By Linda Dessau

Here are my favorite self-care habits for dealing with stress:

1. Get in the habit of noticing. – Take an inventory of all the things that just don’t feel right in your life or that you know are causing you stress. For example, when you approach certain people, places or situations do you feel more stress and tension? Once you have your list in place, look at what you can change yourself, and do it. You can also use this list to predict stressful situations before they occur.

2. Get in the habit of asking for help. – For what you can’t change yourself, you need a team. Build a team of experts to handle your list. A coach, at the top of the list, will help with the big picture and will keep you honest about your efforts. Other team members might be a family doctor who listens to you, a financial planner, a massage therapist and an exercise partner.

3. Get in the habit of bouncing back. – Think of Plan A as your basic self-care plan while stress is under control. Now imagine something happens and you are under stress. Instead of abandoning all self-care because you can’t do it all, have a Plan B ready beforehand.

4. Get in the habit of relaxing. – If you practice relaxation techniques (breathing, meditation, imagery, music) every day, then when stressful situations come up you’ll have the tools at your fingertips.

5. Get in the habit of gratitude. – Our attitude comes from our emotions and our emotions come from our thoughts. Thinking about what we’re grateful for and what we’re good at can keep things positive. It’s not about shying away from what’s challenging you; it’s about approaching life from a place of strength and not as a victim.

6. Get in the habit of creating. – Experiment with a new recipe in the kitchen, write a poem, bang a drum, do a craft, take a dance class or do something else that feels creative to you.

7. Get in the habit of putting your stuff away. – Physical clutter can really impact on mental, emotional and physical health. Get rid of things that don’t make you happy when you look at them. Organize your stuff. Find a place for everything and keep it there.

8. Get in the habit of breathing. – This is the simplest and quickest way to relax yourself in a stressful situation. The minute you focus on your breathing it automatically gets slower and deeper.

9. Get in the habit of daydreaming. – Take yourself away on an imaginary holiday. Just close your eyes and go! Picture somewhere you’ve been or somewhere you’ve dreamed of.

10. Laugh out loud every day. – Don’t let your stress get the better of you! Which one of these strategies can you apply this week to manage your stress?

~~~

“A good conscience is a continual Christmas.”

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

Her Holiday Poem

‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste

At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The punch and the candy, the bread and the cheese

And the way I’d not said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt

And prepared once again to do battle with dirt— I said to myself, as I only can

“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”

So–away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

“Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won’t have a cookie–not even a lick.

I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,

I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore—

But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

~~~

Today everyone wants instant gratification, no matter how long it takes.

~~~

The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season.

Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand.

Puzzled, the pastor said, “I don’t get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were missing because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer.”

One hunter groaned, “Well, it worked. They’re all safe.”

~~~

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

~~~

In a stationery store, I quickly picked out a card for my wife for our anniversary. The clerk was surprised by how little time it took me, and she began relating a story about another customer who spent a half-hour searching for the right anniversary greeting.

Noticing the man lingering over one card after another, the clerk went to see if she could help. “Is there a problem?” she asked.

“Yes, there is,” he replied ruefully. “I can’t find one my wife will believe.”

~~~

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.

Friedrich Nietzsche

~~~

She told me that as a single, never-married woman in her 40s, she have been questioned endlessly about her status by her friends, relatives, and co-workers. Over the years, she noticed a subtle change in the nature of their inquiries.

In my teens, friends would ask, “Who are you going out with this weekend?”

In my 20s, relatives would say, “Who are you dating?”

In my 30s, co-workers might inquire, “So, are you dating anyone yet?”

Now people ask, “Where did you get that adorable purse?”

~~~

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.

Meister Eckhart

~~~

A little old man was escorted into the witness box. After being sworn in the lawyer asked him to explain what happened.

After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident he finally got around to the meat of the case, “…and then she hit me with a maple leaf.”

“Surely that couldn’t have caused you any serious injury?” said the lawyer.

“Are you kidding?” exclaimed the old man. “It was the leaf from the center of our dining room table.”

~~~

“Christmas will always be as long as we stand heart to heart and hand in hand.”

Dr. Seuss

~~~

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Category:

Bucket or Dipper?

Ray’s Daily

December 22, 2020

A sense of interconnectedness with others has been shown to fortify feelings of happiness.

Will Bowen

During these holidays it is a good time to share with others how much they are appreciated. Here is an abridged story that reminds us of the importance of maintaing positive relationships.

Are you a bucket filler or a dipper?

You have no doubt heard of the cup that overflowed. This is a story of a bucket that is like the cup, only larger, it is an invisible bucket. Everyone has one. It determines how we feel about ourselves, about others, and how we get along with people. Have you ever experienced a series of very favourable things which made you want to be good to people for a week? At that time, your bucket was full.

A bucket can be filled by a lot of things that happen. When a person speaks to you, recognizing you as a human being, your bucket is filled a little and even more if he calls you by name, especially if it is the name you like to be called.

If he compliments you on your dress or on a job well done, the level in your bucket goes up still higher. There must be a million ways to raise the level in another’s bucket. Writing a friendly letter, remembering something that is special to him, knowing the names of his children, expressing sympathy for his loss, giving him a hand when his work is heavy, taking time for conversation, or, perhaps more important, listening to him.

When one’s bucket is full of this emotional support, one can express warmth and friendliness to people. But, remember, this is a theory about a bucket and a dipper. Other people have dippers and they can get their dippers in your bucket. This, too, can be done in a million ways.

Let’s say I am at a dinner and inadvertently upset a glass of thick, sticky chocolate milk that spills over the table cloth. I am embarrassed. Mr bright eyes sitting across the table says, ‘You upset that glass of chocolate milk.’ I made a mistake, I know I did, and then he told me about it! He got his dipper in my bucket! Think of the times a person makes a mistake, feels terrible about it, only to have someone tell him about the known mistake. I call this ‘Red pencil’ mentality!

The story of our lives is the interplay of the bucket and the dipper. Everyone has both. The unyielding secret of the bucket and the dipper is that when you fill another’s bucket it does not take anything out of your own bucket. The level in our own bucket gets higher when we fill another’s, and, on the other hand, when we dip into another’s bucket we do not fill our own … we lose a little.

For a variety of reasons, people hesitate filling the bucket of another and consequently do not experience the fun, joy, happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction connected with making another person happy. Some reasons for this hesitancy are that people think it sounds ‘false,’ or the other person will be suspicious of the motive, or it is ‘brown-nosing.’

Therefore, let us put aside our dipper and resolve to touch someone’s life in order to fill their bucket.

Author Unknown

~~~

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses

Ann Landers

~~~

Christmas In Florida

Twas A Florida Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town, No rose were frozen – no snow fluttered down.

No children in flannels were tucked into bed, They all wore shortie pajamas instead.

To find wreaths of holly was not very hard, For holly wreaths grow in most every back yard.

In front of the house were Daddy and Mom Decorating the Crotons and Coconut Palm.

The sleeping kiddies were dreaming with glee, Hoping to find water skis under their tree.

They all knew that Santa was well on his way, In a read and white sports car, instead of a sleigh,

He whizzed up the highway and zoomed up the road, In a snappy convertible delivering his load.

And soon he arrived and started his work, For he hadn’t a moment to linger of shirk.

As he jumped from the car he gave a deep chuckle, He was dressed in Bermudas, with Ivy League buckle,

There weren’t any chimneys, but that caused no gloom, For Santa came in through the Florida room.

He stopped at each house, stayed only a minute, Emptying the bag ‘o toys he had in it, Before he departed, he treated himself, To a big glass of Orange Juice left on the shelf.

He turned with a bounce and leaped in the car, Remembering he still had to go very far.

Then turning the key and lighting the dash, Up Interstate ninety-five he went like a flash,

But we heard him exclaim as he went on his way, “Merry Christmas, Y’All ~ I wish I could stay.”

~~~

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.”

James Oppenheim

~~~

She said:

Men are great! Every woman should own one!!!

Men are just boys in better bodies!

Men are just like computers, and a smart woman keeps a backup.

Men are like bras: they offer light, medium and complete support.

~~~

I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there’s a decimal point involved.

~~~

An Irishman is walking along the beach one day, and he sees a bottle laying in the sand. He picks it up and starts to brush it off, and out pops a genie.

The genie says, “Since you have freed me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes.”

The Irishman thinks for a moment and says, “I’m feeling a might thirsty, I think I’ll be wishing for a pint of stout.”

POOF! There is a pint of stout in his hand. He drinks it down, and starts to throw the bottle, when the genie says, “I’d look at that bottle again before I threw it if I were you.”

So he looks at the bottle, and it is magically filling back up with stout.

The genie told him, “That is a magic bottle, and it will always fill back up after you finish it.”

The genie then asked, “What other two wishes can I grant for you?”

The Irishman looks at the bottle in his hand and says, “I’ll be taking two more of these.”

~~~

The only people to get even with are those who have helped you.

~~~

An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died.

Until then, she’d never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued.

“You must take the loyalty oath first,” responded the passport clerk. “Raise your right hand, please.”

The old gal raised her right hand.

“Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” was the first question.

The little old lady’s face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice, “Uhhh . . . all by myself?”

~~~

When you cultivate quality relationships, not only do you feel better and help your friends feel better, but you contribute to an increase of joy, love, and peace in the world.

Tara Bianca

~~~

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Category:

We Can Do It

Fay’s Daily

December 21, 2020

The true secret of happiness lies in the taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.”

William Morris

This is going to ba a Christmas week like no other. For those of us who are on lock down it wil be a first with out being with family and friends. I at least wil be provided with a good Christmas dinner and a chance to visit for a short time with some of my neighbors.

I am having a hard time getting motivated to do the few things I must do. I get them done but often reluctantly. I recently was sent an article written Gretchen Rubin that I have abridged that I felt may help others like me.

For many people, the pandemic period has made it tougher to stick to their good habits. If that’s your experience, here are some quick, easy suggestions to consider:

Trouble sleeping?

• Get ready for bed well before you plan to turn off the light. I realized that sometimes, paradoxically, I felt too tired to get ready for bed, so I just stayed up later. Now I try to wash my face, put on my pajamas, and brush my teeth well before I plan to turn off the light.

Trouble getting yourself to exercise?

• If you’re an Obliger, get outer accountability. If you’re a Questioner, research to find the most efficient form of exercise. If you’re an Upholder, put exercise on the calendar. If you’re a Rebel, remind yourself, “This is what I want to do, what I feel like doing. I love to be outside, with the wind in my hair, biking around my neighborhood.”

Feeling lonely?

• Schedule a weekly call with a friend or family member, so you don’t have to plan and coordinate each time (you could also walk during these talks, win-win).

• If you’re part of a group, such as a book group, that hasn’t been meeting in person, and you haven’t yet met virtually, schedule a Zoom call—it’s not perfect, but it’s better than nothing.

• Join an online community around a topic or interest—apart from social media. Working on something together is a great way to forge new relationships, even during this strange time. For instance, you could join The Happiness Project Experience 2021 and build a happier, healthier life with support from other course participants.

~~~

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”

Dale Carnegie

~~~

She said:

People don’t like to look dumpy in their own snapshots, which is why my husband, a professional photographer, gets a lot of requests asking him to retouch photos. You know, erase the crow’s-feet, lop off the love handles.

So I wasn’t surprised when one woman, pointing to a family portrait, asked him, “Can you take 30 pounds off me?” until she added, “And put it on my sister?”

~~~

For new fathers, or anyone thinking about becoming a father, you must learn these WORDS OF WISDOM:

Don´t ask me, ask your mother.

Close the door. Were you raised in a barn?

Who said life was supposed to be fair.

This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.

You call that noise “music”?

No, we´re not there yet.

As long as you live under my roof, you´ll live by my rules.

Because I said so. That´s why.

Do what I say, not what I do.

So you think you´re smart, do you?

If I´ve told you once, I´ve told you a thousand times.

You want something to do? I´ll give you something to do.

I´m not just talking to hear my own voice!

What do you think I am, a bank?

I don´t care what other people are doing! I´m not everybody else´s father!

Enough is enough!

Don´t make me stop the car!

~~~

I’d like to go to an assertiveness training class. First I need to check with my wife.

Adam Christing

~~~

Retirement Center Pickup Lines

“What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like…where exactly are we again?”

“Yes, I’m 92… but I have the body of a 78-year-old.”

“Your beautiful blue eyes are like limpid sapphire pools. Your blue hair, too.”

“Hey babe, looking for a good time? How’s about coming home with me and…Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z.”

~~~

“Sometimes it’s important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it’s essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.”

Douglas Pagels

~~~

In the Admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms.

An elderly woman, obviously not sure of where she should be, hesitatingly entered my cubicle. She had completed the admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the necessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital.

“I’m here to just visit a friend,” she said, “but all this has taken so long, I’m not sure I have the time now!”

~~~

The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.

~~~

The officer pulled me over for speeding. I explained that I was rushing home to be with my wife on our first anniversary.

But rather than letting me off, he wrote out the ticket, handed it to me, and said, “Congratulations. The first year is paper, right?”

~~~

The only people to get even with are those who have helped you.

~~~

On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was…surrounded by trees and bushes.

~~~

Q. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds?

A. Because…. A lot of men are stupid, but very few are blind

~~~

“To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.”

Buddha

~~~

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Category:

You Can Do It

Ray’s Daily

December 18, 2020

Say yes to more things.

Eric Schmidt

While or major holidays, Christmas and New Year’s are just ahead they are going to be different than in the past. In my case I will remain isolated, so no time with friends and family. It is going to be up to me how I deal what lays ahead. I can’t replicate the past celebrations but I can remember past happy days and make the best of todays realities.

Here is how one person suggests we deal with the bad days.

Be a Hell Yes to Life

By Leo Babauta

So often, we reject the experience in front of us. It’s usually out of habit, from not wanting this particular experience, not liking the discomfort or uncertainty … or really not liking the fact that we aren’t going to get what we want.

We reject the experience in front of us:

Not liking the way other people are acting (totally justified, they’re idiots!)
Getting mad at ourselves for messing up again (you dumbass, why are you always doing that??)
Shutting ourselves off to the uncertainty of whatever is going on, by distracting ourselves (ugh, I just can’t)
Complaining about other people, often just in our heads (I don’t know why they have to be that way!)
Shutting down, wanting to exit, when things get hard (I can’t take this anymore, why does she always have to complain??)
Avoiding the discomfort or fear of something difficult (umm, that’s too hard, I’m going to tackle email!)

This rejection of our experience is why we so often get frustrated with other people, down on ourselves, or avoid the hard things. It’s why we have such a hard time with good habits: meditation, exercise, healthy food, writing, reading, flossing. They’re not easy, so we say no to them, even when we know we should say yes.

It’s why we turn to alcohol, smoking, junk food, TV, social media, other distractions — to numb out, to say No to life. What if instead … we were a Hell Yes to life?

How to Be a Hell Yes to Life

Think about everything you complain about. Everything that makes you want to go, “Ugh.” Everything that makes you feel discomfort, want to avoid, want to exit. Everything ugly, angry, negative. Now imagine that you could be open to all of it.

You could be in a room of people you normally dislike, and be compassionate with them. See their beauty and power. Love them, just as they are.

Love every experience, every moment, just as it is.

What if you could be a Hell Yes to everything? What would that change for you?

That doesn’t mean that you don’t fight against injustice, or try to help those who are suffering. You don’t have to love injustice — but you can love the people who are suffering, even those whose suffering causes them to commit terrible injustices. You can be compassionate toward everyone, and love their hearts, even if you don’t agree with their actions or beliefs.

What if you could be a Hell Yes to all of the difficult things in life: your scariest project, the hardest tasks, the most boring moments?

The practice is to face everything, and to open up to it. To see the beauty in the moment, even in the parts you normally reject or dislike.

To love the parts of yourself that you usually want to change. To love everything.

Be a Hell Yes to life. In my experience, it becomes a Hell Yes to you in return.

~~~

Sometimes we receive the power to say yes to life. Then peace enters us and makes us whole.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

More wisdom from the kids.

Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. —Michael, Age 14

Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.—Joel, Age 12

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone. —Alyesha, Age 13

Never try to baptize a cat.—Laura, Age 13

~~~

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

~~~

A man showed his friend a ring with a giant diamond in it and explained that it was his wife’s Christmas gift. His friend said, “I thought she wanted a Mercedes.”

The man answered, “I know, but where can you get a fake one of those?”

~~~

Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow.”

Edward Sandford Martin

~~~

The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace. “How many of you,” he asked, “would say you’re opposed to war?”

Not surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked, “Who’ll give us the reason for being opposed to war?”

A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised his hand.

“Johnny?” the teacher said.

“I hate war,” Johnny said, “because wars make history, and I hate History!”

~~~

Never moon a werewolf.

~~~

The Rabbi’s wife called a psychiatrist and said, “My husband thinks he’s the new Moses.” The doctor assured her that these delusions of grandeur were only a passing fancy.

“OK.” she responded. “But in the meantime, how do I keep him from parting the waters in the hot-tub?”

~~~

“We must remember that one determined person can make a significant difference, and that a small group of determined people can change the course of history.”

Sonia Johnson

~~~

Applicants for jobs at the company where my friend Diana works are asked to fill out a questionnaire. Among the things candidates list is their high school and when they attended. One prospective employee dutifully wrote the name of his high school, followed by the dates attended: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

~~~

Oh yeah? What’s the speed of Dark?

~~~

Patient: My wife beats me, doctor.

Doctor: Oh dear. How often?

Patient: Every time we play Scrabble!

~~~

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

W.C. Fields

~~~

A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy old castle.

At the end of the tour, the guide asks her how she enjoyed it. She admits to being a bit worried about seeing a ghost in some of the dark cobwebby rooms and passages.

“Don’t worry,” says the guide. “I’ve never seen a ghost all the time I’ve been here.”

“How long is that”? asks the girl.

“About three hundred years.”

~~~

It takes courage to look life in the eye and say yes to the messy glory.

Deborah Wiles

~~~

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Category:

Life Goes On

Ray’s Daily

December 17, 2020

People change and things go wrong but just remember life goes on.

Mac Miller

While I cannot predict my future I don’t spend time worrying about what it might be. These days are what they are and it is up to me to make the best of them as possible. I do believe that the day will come when we will find more that we can again do. No matter what is going on around us our life goes on and how we live is up to us.

Here is a story that reminds us that life has its ups and downs.

Plant Annually

‘I hate this time of the year,’ she said. I was surprised to hear that from her. Her smile is the welcome we all would love to see at the beginning and end of the day. She’s happy. She usually finds hope in the hopeless. So, hearing this today set me back. I connect with people like her and depend on them to get me through. I call them ‘spiritual lighthouses,’ small beacons of light on my journey.

I hoped this was just a bump in the road for her. People, who are optimistic and positive have bad days, too. ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.

She wouldn’t look at me. She knew why I was asking this. She heard what I was hearing beyond the words spoken. ‘I walked into my garden and everything was dying,’ she replied.

‘What’s in your garden?’ I asked.

‘Flowers. Beautiful, fragrant flowers.’

‘Perennials?’

‘For the most part.’

‘Who is responsible for their dying?’

She was quiet for a moment and then turning toward me, said, I took very good care of them.’

‘I’m sure you did.’

‘So, who’s responsible?’

She didn’t answer.

‘It is the same source that gave them life and the promise of rebirth. The life that is there in dying. It is our charge, therefore to see the life in every death. The annuals are like the things of the world. They are here and gone. But we are God’s perennials. What is given to us is more valuable than what we take. Your caring for the garden is an example of how we should live. If you want to see love, give it. If you want to see hope, give hope. If you want to see life, give life,’ I said.

I saw my friend today. She was smiling. On her desk, in a vase, was the last rose of summer.

When she looked at me I said, ‘Plant annually, believe perennially.’

Written by Bob Perks

~~~

Life is an operation which is done in a forward direction. One lives toward the future, because to live consists inexorably in doing, in each individual life making itself.

Jose Ortega Gasset

~~~

The Top Signs Your SUV Is Too Big

Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as “downsizing.”

Before go you out, you have to file for a parade permit.

You’re the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2004 Halliburton-Savior S-Class.

It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into its orbit.

There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in the back seat.

It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.

It’s great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down into an entire field, complete with goals.

You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver’s seat.

Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.

Mortgage payment = $2200. Texaco card payment = $2201.

You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be dismantled immediately.

Due to new military intel that has narrowed the search down to the inside of your vehicle, President Bush remains confident that Osama Bin Laden will someday be found.

The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.

~~~

A teacher asked one of her pupils, “What’s the nation’s capital?”

The reply was, “Washington DC.”

On being asked what the ‘DC’ stood for, the pupil added, “Dot com!”

~~~

An applicant for a driver’s license came to the question:

“How many feet are required to stop a car traveling 30 mph?”

He answered:

“Two feet; one for the clutch, one for the brake.”

He got his license.

~~~

“There is a spark of idealism within every individual which can be fanned into flame and bring forth extraordinary results.”

Louis Brandeis

~~~

My brother Scott brought over a photo album of his camping trip. One picture showed a brown bear helping itself to his food.

“What kind of bear is that?” I asked.

“It’s called a Kodiak,” Scott replied.

“Oh, yeah?” my husband Keith shot back. “And I suppose those white ones in the Arctic are called Polaroid’s?”

~~~

“At whatever stage you apologize to your wife, the answer is always the same — ‘it’s too late now’.”

Denys Parsons

~~~

Remember?

The Royal Crown Cola bottle with a stopper with a bunch of holes in it that sat on the end of the ironing board to “sprinkle” clothes with because we didn’t have steam irons.

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.

Ignition switches on the dashboard.

Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.

Real ice boxes.

Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.

Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.

Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

~~~

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren’t so busy denying them.

Harold J. Smith

~~~

Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A woman over heard her aunt and uncle one day:

“What are you looking for in that closet?” Sadie asked.

“Nothing,” Morris answered.

“Well, it’s not in there. Look under the bed.”

~~~

My mind is now so crowded with valuable information that I can’t think.

~~~

Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher.

When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, “AMEN, BROTHER!”

When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, “PREACH IT, REVEREND!”

And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, “RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS… AMEN!”

But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet. One turned to the other and said, “He’s quit preaching and now he’s meddlin’.”

~~~

I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers.”

~~~

A student comes back to the dorm & finds his roommate near tears. “What’s the matter, pal?” he asked. “I wrote home for my parents to send money so that I could buy a laptop, and they sent me the laptop.” he moaned.

~~~

Even though we have been hurt, we must find a way to get through it, life goes on whether we want it to or not. The world keeps turning no matter how bad we feel. This is why we have to learn how to bounce back and keep moving forward.

Rashida Rowe

~~~

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Category:

Thank You

Ray’s Daily

December 16, 2020

Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends.

Cindy Lew

Another busy day so here is another Daily from the past.

Ray’s Daily first published on Deceber 16, 2008

Lately as I have re-inventoried those things that have made my life better each year I realize that most of the good things I have experienced are the result of the people I know. Someone asked me recently if I had any hobbies and I told them that I did, I collected friends. Sure I have enjoyed my travels and the things I have done, but they just fill time and space, it is the experiences shared with friends and family that have added the depth.

The older I get the more I realize that it is the interaction with others that adds the zest that makes each day exciting. I feel truly fortunate that people have allowed me to volunteer, serve, learn and participate in what’s going on around me. Luckily I have avoided the trap of retreating into my den and hibernating in an easy chair while letting age creep up on me.

I only recently realized that my activities were not an adjustment to the free time that comes with retirement but an extension to choices I made earlier in life. In truth we don’t have to wait to join in. In fact some of my favorite friends are just getting started in life and fortunately they have decided to ride the waves rather than sitting on shore watching the scenery.

Thank goodness that it is never too late, for there is no need to look back with regret when there is still opportunity to live a dream. There is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and it is there for you but only if you realize that it is the journey you take that fills it.

Thank you all my friends, for it is you that makes it all worthwhile.

~~~

“May there always be work for your hands to do, may your purse always hold a coin or two. May the sun always shine on your windowpane, may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you, may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.”

Irish Blessing

~~~

Here are some more words for you to use in your conversations today.

Lactomangulation (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the ‘open here’ spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’ side.

Peppier (pehp ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.

~~~

Hypochondriacs are just like fishermen, because neither have to catch anything to be happy.

Lawrence Brotherton

~~~

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.

“I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up?”

Nine hands went up.

“Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man. “Too much trouble,” came the reply.

~~~

Marriage changes passion … suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

~~~

I recently my primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing “fairly well” for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking her, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?”

She asked, “Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer?”

“Oh no”, I replied, not anymore.”

Then she asked, “Do you eat a lot of rib-eye steaks and bar-b-que ribs?

I said, “No, I know that all “red meat” is very unhealthy!”

“Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?” he asked.

“No I don’t. I know that the sun is bad for you.” I said.

He said, “Do you drive fast cars or fool around?”

“No,” I said, “I’ve don’t do any of those things.”

She looked at me and said, “Then why in heck do you want to live to be 80 ??”

~~~

At my age, forget all the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get

~~~

Jerry is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.

“I’m ok but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.

“What did he say,” asked the nurse.

“OOPS”

~~~

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions–the little, soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

~~~

A little boy had been pawing over a stationer’s stock of greeting cards for some time when a clerk asked, “Just what is it you’re looking for? A birthday greeting, message to a sick friend, Anniversary or a congratulations to your mom and dad?”

The boy shook his head and answered, “Got any like a blank report card?”

~~~

She said, “I haven’t found Mr. Right, but I have found Mr. Cheap, Mr. Sleazy, and Mr. Wrong.”

~~~

An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter’s house later that night, she seemed upset.

“What happened, Mother?” the daughter asked.

“I had to slap his face three times!”

“You mean he got fresh?”

“No,” she answered…

“I thought he was dead!”

~~~

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles from the Next Exit

~~~

My friend said she was thinking of joining the Jewish faith. “They get something like 200 days off work every year for Jewish holidays. You just call the office and say, “I won’t be in tomorrow. It’s Meshuggena Verklempt Day. Yeah, well, I can’t talk anymore. It’s almost sundown. Bye!”

~~~

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”

Albert Einstein

~~~

A man parks his car at the supermarket and is walking into the store. A woman who has just finished loading her groceries in her car asks, “Excuse me, do you want this cart?”

“No,” he answers. “I’m only after one thing.”

As he walks into the store, he hears the woman mutter, “Just like a man.”

~~~

“A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.”

Arabian Proverb

~~~

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Category:

Coping With The Crisis

Ray’s Daily

Decenber 15, 2020

“Any kind of crisis can be good. It wakes you up.”

Ryan Reynolds

As we begin another week most of us will take care of ourselves by following the guidelines that will help protect us from Covid infection. While many of us are locked down and stay isolated giving us time to grow our minds.

After a mile-a-minute life it is refreshing to be able to take a mental vacation. It offers us a tme to recharge and even prepare for our tomorrows. I have taken the liberty of making signifant edits in the following article as I wanted to share with you the basic thoughts of the author.

Here are five positive lessons I have learned so far from this global crisis:

1. We have a lot to appreciate. – “Your ancestors were called to war. You are called to stay on your couch. You can do this.” That’s what my Facebook newsfeed reminded me the other day. Oh, boy! That really helped to put things into perspective.

2. Everything is easier when we stay grounded in the now. – Life doesn’t always go as planned; it can be very unpredictable. With so much confusion and uncertainty, staying grounded can be a challenge. Especially for people like me, who’ve lived decades trying to have full control over everyone and everything—how people acted or felt, how my future was going to look, and so on.

Whenever I find myself tormented by “what if” questions, I check the sanity of my thoughts. I ask myself: Is that true? How is this thought helping me right now? How would my life be if I let go of this thought? I need to learn how to trust the flow of life and surrender when the only reality is time will tell.

3. Life isn’t just about doing; it’s also about being. – Today’s modern society has transformed many of us into doers, performers, and over-achievers. Since an early age, we’ve been conditioned to value ourselves through how well we do things in life. Most of us were raised to deliver results, always running somewhere, always busy.

Most of us are currently getting the gift of time. And what a golden asset that is, as it means life and it’s never coming back!

Unable to go out, so many of us go in. Sleep, recharge, pray, meditate, journal. Reflect on what’s important and what makes us truly happy. To many, it’s a transition from survival to living. During times of pain, we are invited to learn new ways of being—to do less and be more. Reconnect with our true human nature.

4. We are all one. – In a world with so much scarcity, hunger, poverty, divisions, and wars, we are reminded that, in front of adversity, we are all one.

During times of physical disconnection, staying emotionally connected is a true blessing. Unity, collaboration, giving, support, community, service, compassion, inclusion, empathy, collaboration—such human values have never been so essential as today. People all over the world are doing so many acts of kindness!

5. Challenges always lead to growth. – Real, sustainable growth happens during challenging times that stretch us, not when everything is nice and easy.

Besides keeping our hands clean, let us take a mind shower, and do it often. In most countries, this is the spring season, reminding us that all endings are new beginnings and this too shall pass. It is a time for evolution, creativity,and connection. Let us be the light we want to see in the world and press the reset button. Let us take a big leap from fear to love.

Sara Fabian

~~~

“Crisis is what suppressed pain looks like; it always comes to the surface. It shakes you into reflection and healing.”

Bryant McGill

~~~

A seven year old boy was at the center of Chicago courtroom drama this week when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents, and he adamantly refused to live with her.

When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Chicago Cubs, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

~~~

Q. What is worse than being a bachelor?

A. Being a Bachelor’s son.

~~~

Top Ten Signs You’re Being Stalked by Martha Stewart

10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they’re all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.

9. You find a lemon slice in the dog’s water bowl.

8. On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen licorice downspout and the half-open graham cracker garage door.

7. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon, rose petal & saffron demi-glace’, with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a delicate mint-fennel sauce.

6. The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even after you leave the bathroom.

5. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into a swan.

4. No matter “where” you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster fork.

3. Twice this week you’ve been the victim of a drive-by doilying.

2. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in every orifice.

AND THE NUMBER 1 Sign You’re Being Stalked by Martha Stewart…

1. You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.

~~~

People who live well are experts at giving. They give their money; they give their time. They share their wisdom and their skills. They quickly say yes when asked to help. For them…to give is to love and to love is to live. It’s a formula for a successful life.

Steve Goodier

~~~

Wendy was waiting her turn at the bakery, when she heard a prospective bride give the cake decorator a hard time as she previewed her wedding cake. She demanded many extras and was critical of the work he’d done so far. After she left, he muttered, “I’m glad I put my special golden award on this cake. That young woman is sure eligible for it.”

Curious, Wendy studied the cake closely, but saw nothing.

Finally the decorator pointed to the tiny bridegroom atop the cake with his tiny bride and there it was. Barely visible was the “golden award”, a tiny wedding ring, inserted in the groom’s nose.

~~~

Streakers beware: Your end is in sight!

~~~

According to experts at the National Institute of Mental Health, depressed people die much sooner than everyone else. Well, that’s just what depressed people need to hear! That should cheer them up!

Jay Leno

~~~

“In every crisis, doubt or confusion, take the higher path – the path of compassion, courage, understanding and love.”

Amit Ray

~~~

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Category: