Ray's Daily

The Summer looks out from her brazen tower,

Through the flashing bars of July.

Francis Thompson,

~~~

My how time flies, here we are closing out June already. As you know I provide as a public service significant activities that we are expected to participate in each month. Unfortunately I often don’t provide the information early enough for everyone to be able take action as the month begins. So get out your pen and paper and build your list for July. I’ll start with a few of the activities that are unique to week one. It is:

• Be Nice to New Jersey Week – At least they put the more difficult tasks early in the month.
• Man Watchers’ Compliment Week – OK, I’ll watch but if I compliment you there will be no kissing on the lips.
• Nude Recreation Week – I have been asked by friends and neighbors to boycott this as they are afraid that if I participated it would lower property values.

Monday is:

• Compliment-Your-Mirror Day – Every time I try to do that the guy looking back at me is not all that good to look at.
• Disobedience Day – Please don’t give my wife advance notice of this one.

If that was not enough it is also:

• National Anti-Boredom Month – Got any ideas?
• National July Belongs to Blueberries Month and National Peach Month – I wonder what the peaches think knowing the month belongs to blueberries.
• National Purposeful Parenting Month – It is sad that the kids of parents who birthed them by accident will miss out, especially since there are so many.

I might as well be honest, I’ll do my best but I probably will miss participating in one or two these, it is nice to know that most of you won’t. If you to miss a few I’ll understand, however it will not be OK not to have fun this month. I warn you if I catch you moping around I will turn you in!

PS – For those of you who will participate in nude recreation week please send me a postcard and if it is from jail let me know what we can send you.

~~~

I don’t want to ever, ever do something in life that isn’t fun. Ever.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

~~~

Beware, these people are in the gene pool and reproducing! Real 911 Calls, believe it or not!!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I’m wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency? Caller: Fire, I guess. Dispatcher: How can I help you sir? Caller: I was wondering…..does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks? Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency? Caller: Well, I’ve spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and… well, do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me? Dispatcher: Help you what? Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency? Caller : My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart. Dispatcher: Is this her first child? Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is……….

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn.. I think I’m going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn…… Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No. Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the Police.

~~~

Remember this–that very little is needed to make a happy life.

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

~~~

When I picked up my Ford Escort at the service station after some minor repairs, I paid by check as usual. A couple of weeks later I came home from work to find my wife quite upset. She gave me the silent treatment until I figured out why she was so angry. She had noticed the canceled check, and on the memo line I had written "Escort Service."

~~~

The company I worked for always had problems with interoffice communications.  For instance, last week the Personnel Department sent around a memo on sexual harassment Three people initialed it and six people signed up for it.

~~~

A best friend is like a four leaf clover…. hard to find, and lucky to have.

~~~

The Washington Post recently had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had it "in the old days." Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below.

Second Runner-Up:

In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.

First Runner-Up:

In my day, we didn’t have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you’d weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we’d use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn’t adjust our skates, which didn’t really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today.

And the winner:

In my day, we didn’t have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.

Honorable Mentions:

• In my day, we didn’t have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes.
• In my day, we didn’t have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.
• In my day, we didn’t get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying ‘Doors closing.’ We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.
• In my day, we didn’t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
• Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.
• Back in my day, ’60 Minutes’ wasn’t just a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 60-year-old guys.
• In my day, we didn’t have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.
• Back in my day, they hadn’t invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight.

~~~

Use what talent you possess:

The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.

Henry Van Dyke

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights;

It is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.

Miriam Beard

~~~

I have been fortunate to travel to more than fifty countries, islands, and territories, over the years and will soon set off again to Europe. Of course I have been like most travelers, taking hundreds of pictures of buildings, mountains, flowers, seas, and much more, and like most people the photos are hidden away in albums, stacks, and drawers, and most will never again see the light of day. While I continue to enjoy the sights as I travel, I have found that the lingering memories are of the people I have met along the way and the places where I, ate, talked, and learned.

We live in difficult times and I fear walls are being built by others in an attempt to isolate us from those in other lands; we must not let that happen. When governments talk about public diplomacy they don’t mean what is done by people like you and me, and yet it is the friendships we make as we travel that define us and our fellow countrymen as much or more than image building government pronouncements. I think we should think of ourselves as diplomats representing the good people of our various countries as we travel and the walls will not keep us apart.

It seems to me that hate is on the rise everywhere and it can poison us all if we let it. I have met some really good people in some really bad countries and some really bad people in some really good countries, and you know why that is? It is because everyone else has the same human needs that we do and like us some are warm and friendly and others are not.

People who care for others were never needed more than we need them now. Other lands have so much more than just sights to offer us if we are open to the people we meet along the way. When we give the people we meet the benefit of the doubt, show them respect, and show a sincere interest in them wonderful things often happen, not the least of which is making a new friend. It is totally up to us and if we care enough to care, who knows maybe, just maybe, we can make our world a slightly better place.

~~~

Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.

Maya Angelou

~~~

She said that this should be the theme for the next Survivor Show  

6 Married men will be dropped on an island with 1 car and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks.  

Each kid plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes.  

There is no access to fast food.  

Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.  

The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them and there is no remote.  

The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves, either while driving or while making four lunches.  

They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 A.M; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.  

The kids vote them off the island, based on performance.  

The last man wins only if he has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.  

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over again for the next 18-25 years – eventually earning the right to be called "Mother".  

~~~

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4AM.

It could be a right number. Think about this.

~~~

I came out of a convenience store the other day and some seedy looking guy walks up to me and holds up a little sign: "DEAF & DUMB… Can you spare $10?"

Wow! What happened to a dollar or 2?

So I reached into my pocket for my wallet, opened it, took out a folded piece of paper and handed it to him. It said: "I CAN’T READ" and I walked away.

~~~

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

~~~

THE WISDOM OF MAN’S BEST FRIEND

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.

~~~

The ideas that have lighted my way have been kindness, beauty and truth.

Albert Einstein

~~~

A New York woman was at her hairdresser’s on Park Avenue getting her hair styled prior to a trip to Rome with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We’re taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s left bank called Teste…"

"Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is bad and they’re overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That’s rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel, it was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What’d he say?"

He said, "Where’d you get the lousy hairdo?"

~~~

I am so convinced of the advantages of looking at mankind instead of reading about them, and of the bitter effects of staying at home with all the narrow prejudices of an Islander, that I think there should be a law amongst us to set our young men abroad for a term among the few allies our wars have left us.

Lord Byron

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

“Accept fate, and move on.

Don’t yield to the seductive pull of self-pity.

Acting like a victim threatens your future.”

~~~

I used this Teddy Roosevelt quote yesterday. “Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure…than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” I know about Teddy Roosevelt and I am no Teddy Roosevelt. I have learned to live without glorious triumphs but I do enjoy many personal triumphs.

Here is one dictionary definition of triumph: the happiness, pride, or feeling of elation that comes from winning, being victorious, or overcoming something.

For many of us satisfaction and joy comes just from getting in the game. Sadly too many others just sit on the sidelines held back by fear or just plain laziness. Of course it is always a personal choice, but I have real problems with people who find excuses to just sit and let the world pass them by.

How often have you procrastinated, and delayed, and then delayed again, only to put your toe in the water and find that there were no grounds for your fear. I know when that happens to me and when it does I regret that I missed things I might have had.

Sure we get hurt once in awhile, we often even look foolish, but so what! I would much rather stand up and enjoy the laughter than to wallow in self pity or run and hide. We get the chance everyday to do something special, but only if we start. Want to see a play? Don’t talk about it, go see one. Lonesome? Volunteer somewhere and say hi to all you see. Just don’t crawl up in a ball and hide in the corner, but if that is your choice so be it, I don’t know about everybody else but I’ll miss you but I won’t hang around.

So put your toe in the water and lo and behold you will find that your body won’t be far behind. Like Teddy said “it is far better to dare than to live in the grey twilight.”

~~~

"To be what you want to be, be like a bee. If the bee wasted its time comparing it’s big body with it’s small light wings, it would not be flying today."

S. Zondo

~~~

SIGNS FOUND IN KITCHENS

1. Kitchen closed – – this chick has had it!

2. Martha Stewart doesn’t live here!!

3. I’m creative; you can’t expect me to be neat too!

4. So this isn’t Home Sweet Home… Adjust!

5. Ring Bell for Maid Service…If no answer do it yourself!

6. I clean house every other day…. Today is the other day!

7. If you write in the dust, please don’t date it!

8. I would cook dinner but I can’t find the can opener!

9. My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

10. A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.

11. COOK CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

12. I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

13. If you don’t like my standards of cooking … lower your standards.

14. You may touch the dust in this house … but please don’t write in it!

15. Apology … Although you’ll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse. It doesn’t always look like this: Some days it’s even worse.

16. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

17. If we are what we eat, then I’m easy, fast, and cheap.

18. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

19. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

20. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

21. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

22. Help keep the kitchen clean – eat out.

23. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

24. My next house will have no kitchen — just vending machines.

25. Gardening forever . . . Housework, never!

26. Dull women have immaculate houses.

~~~

Q: What’s the Indian word for "lousy hunter"?

A: Vegetarian.

~~~

She said: I sat with my infant son in front of the TV, hostage to my husband’s channel-surfing. He eventually settled on an R-rated movie in which the actress was soon topless.  

"Honey, change the channel," I said, shielding my son’s eyes. "He shouldn’t see this."  

"It’s okay." my husband replied. "He probably thinks it’s the Food Network."  

~~~

Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.

Cynthia Nelms

~~~

A child asks his mother, "Do all fairy tales begin with, ‘Once upon a time?’"

His mother answers, "No, dear. Once in a while they begin with ‘I’ll be working late at the office tonight.’"

"Does Daddy tell you fairy tales like that?"

"He used to."

"What made him stop?"

"One day he told me he’d be working late, and I said, ‘Can I depend on that?’"

~~~

No one would ever have crossed the ocean if he could have gotten off the ship in the storm.

Charles Kettering

~~~

How to install a wireless security system:

Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used work boots, a really big pair.

Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it, a really big dish. Leave a note on your front door that says something like "Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition – back in 1/2 an hr. Don’t disturb the pit bulls. They’ve just been wormed and they are a little edgy."

~~~

There are more men than women in mental hospitals – which just goes to show who’s driving who crazy.

~~~

She said: If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

If you’re a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling and he EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup…… I want to be a bear!

~~~

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.

Carl Gustav Jung

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

William Shakespeare

~~~

Last week we wrote about how so many of us put ourselves down, telling ourselves that we are not as good as we really are. I was somewhat surprised at how what we wrote generated soul searching on the part of many of our readers. The good news is that like everything else, when we know we have a problem we can do something about it. It is when we face up to reality that we can make things better. As I thought about all the responses I received it struck me that it is attitude that is the key for most of us. Instead of me rambling on today I just thought I would share with you some of the thoughts of others.

Before we go on I’ll just leave you with one thought, I don’t like the guy that gets up in the morning with a bad attitude, when I look in the mirror it better not be me.

~~~

A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.

Opening scene of "Faust"

***

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.

Charles Swindoll

***

You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.

***

People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.

***

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure…than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt

~~~

A READER’S GUIDE

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country – if they could find the time, and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

~~~

She said: "What makes airport security think they can find something in my purse when even I can’t?"

~~~

"Take a bunch of flowers home for your wife, sir," urged the  

street vendor.  

"I haven’t got a wife," replied the young man.  

"Then buy a bunch for your sweetheart."  

"I don’t have a sweetheart, either."  

"Well then, buy a couple of bunches to celebrate your luck."  

~~~

Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad.

Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.

Will Smith

~~~

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against … get this … fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion.  

The man sued… and won! In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge’s ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires."  

After the man cashed his check, however, the insurance company had him arrested … on 24 counts of arson! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive one-year terms!  

~~~

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Jerry Seinfeld

~~~

A Jewish man was in St. Vincent’s Hospital recovering from an emergency operation when a nun walked into his room. She was there to cheer up the sick and ailing. The man and nun started talking and the nun asked about the man’s life. The man talked about his wife and 13 children.

"My, my," said the nun, "13 children . . . You’re a good, proper Catholic family man. God is very proud of you!"

"I’m sorry, Sister," the man said, "I am not Catholic. I’m Jewish."

"Jewish!?" she replies and immediately gets up to leave.

"Sister, why are you leaving?"

"I didn’t realize I was talking to a sex maniac!"

~~~

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.

~~~

"Well, I reckon you’ve been a pretty good horse," said the farmer.

"You work hard and I ain’t had to call the vet on you much. I only wish you pulled the plow a little faster. But all in all? I’d say you’re one fine horse and any farmer worth his salt would be proud to own you!"

"NO!" said the horse, "I said, ‘feedBAG’ not,’feedBACK’."

~~~

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.

George Washington Carver

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

"If you had a friend who talked to you like you sometimes talk to yourself, would you continue to hang around with that person?"

Rob Bremer

~~~

Here is what Vicki Miller a Life Transition Coach wrote when she read the quote:

When I read the above quote by Rob Bremer, my first thought was – how true! If someone talked to us like we often talk to ourselves, we would avoid that person at all costs.

I notice that golfers are especially good at beating themselves up! Here’s a recent example:

Over Memorial Day weekend, my husband and I played golf with another person. It was a beautiful day and the course was wide open – which is unusual for a holiday. Everything was going great until this other golfer missed his first putt. As soon as this happened, he became very angry and started belittling himself with words like "stupid, idiot, and jerk". He was so upset with himself that his negative "chatter" continued to the next tee box. This negativity became his primary focus so when he hit the ball off the next tee it was, of course, another "bad shot" (in his mind). This led to cursing and more self deprecation. As we progressed with the round, his words became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

We all have these internal thoughts going on. The danger comes from repeating the negative messages to the point we create a limiting belief. When we continually say we are incompetent, inferior, unworthy, or incapable, we are creating the very reality that we don’t want!

Breaking this negative chatter habit is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. You can stop perpetuating the lies you tell yourself by replacing the "old tapes" with new positive messages. One that I am working on right now is to replace any negative messages about exercise and fitness with this new phrase: "I am healthy, trim and toned!"

Pay attention to the phrases you use about yourself each day. Would you say these same things to a friend? If not, then change your words. Be a better friend to yourself!

This is a great message. I spend a lot of time with people who are down on themselves only because they think they are less then they really are. Sometimes we spend hours building lists of all their attributes and they are surprised at how good they really are. As we have often said, your ultimate judge is yourself, if you keep trying to convince yourself that something is wrong with you, your judgment will be subjective and not objective, you will sell yourself on the idea that you have failed. You are so much better than that! I don’t want to hear what’s wrong; I want to know what’s right.

~~~

What lie behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

TWENTY NEW MANAGEMENT STYLES

1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THEN THE EMPLOYEES: These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We’ll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.

2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW: These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.

3) MANAGING BY POST-IT’S: Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their ‘busy’ness by continuously writing on Post-it’s while you are talking.

4) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY: These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He is good, He knows what she must do.

5) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING: These managers don’t really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.

6) MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING: These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will always have something to talk about.

7) MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION: Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all.

8) MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS: These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they got more work to do.

9) MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS: In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.

10) MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS: If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.

11) MANAGING BY STUDYING: Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from the practice.

12) MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS: Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows, boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.

13) MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM: This is a major improvement of the older ‘OPEN DOOR’ management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.

14) MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS: This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.

15) MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE:

In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.

16) BUA MANAGEMENT ( BY USING ABBREVIATIONS ): This management style is ATRASACWOC. ( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication )

17) MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS: These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms.

18) MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION: If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.

19) MANAGING BY BELIEVING: These managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues at all.

20) MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES: If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority of that promise is to low to remember.

~~~

Anyone who asks a question might be a fool for 5 minutes, but a person who doesn’t ask, is a fool forever.

~~~

She said: My husband and I had been trying to have a third child for awhile. Unfortunately, the day I was to take a home pregnancy test, he was called out of town on business. I had told our young daughters about the test, and they were excited. We decided if it was positive, we would buy a baby outfit to surprise their father when he got home.

The three of us stood in the bathroom eagerly waiting for the telltale line to appear. When it did not, my thoughtful seven-year-old gave me a hug. "It’s okay, Mom," she said. "The next time Daddy goes out of town, you can try and get pregnant again."

~~~

My mind is a garden. My thoughts are the seeds. My harvest will be either flower or weeds.

Mel Weldon

~~~

He said: I moved from Southern California up to a rural area of the Pacific Northwest recently. While the scenery up here is beautiful, the women-folk do leave a little to be desired in the areas of vanity and appeal. I won’t be the one to say they’re NOT attractive, but they held a beauty-pageant here last summer… and nobody won.  

~~~

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,

But that we wait so long to begin it.

W. M. Lewis

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

“With each sunrise, we start anew”

~~~

Summer is here for most of us. Our readers in the Southern Hemisphere are up to their ears in winter as we in the North bask in the sun. I am not thrilled by high temperature and humidity but I live most of my life in an air-conditioned world so I avoid the extremes. It will be interesting in August when I will be in Italy, France, and Greece while many of their citizens will have left for cooler climes.

In all honesty though, I usually don’t pay too much attention to weather. Unless of course I collapse from the heat or get soaked in a storm. I enjoy each day too much to let the unimportant get me down. Maybe it is age that lets me forget the bad days and too be thankful for each new day, whatever it is it serves me well.

Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!

Look to this Day!

For it is Life, the very Life of Life.

In its brief course lie all the

Verities and Realities of your Existence.

The Bliss of Growth,

The Glory of Action,

The Splendor of Beauty;

For Yesterday is but a Dream,

And To-morrow is only a Vision;

But To-day well lived makes

Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,

And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.

Look well therefore to this Day!

Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!

Kalidasa

So let us listen to the dawn together and the sounds of summer and look forward to this day. For it is life. Let us enjoy the growth of ourselves and all that is around us. Let us do as much as we can but not miss the beauty that is there for each of us to see. As Kalidasa tells us, our day well lived lays the foundation for something even better tomorrow. Unfortunately way too many of us will miss it all by just not paying attention. I have to go now, I have many things to see and do and they won’t wait for me to catch up, if I miss them they will be gone forever. Bye.

~~~

“So many fail because they don’t get started – they don’t go.

They don’t overcome inertia. They don’t begin.”

W. Clement Stone

~~~

Ain’t It The Truth

Most people deserve each other.

All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding.

The gifts you buy your spouse are never as good and apropos as the gifts your neighbor buys their spouse.

Never get overly excited about a man/woman by just the way they look from behind.

If you help a relative in need, he/she will remember you the next time they are in need.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.

Toothaches always start on Friday night right before the weekend when the Dental Office will be closed.

~~~

"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."-George Carlin

~~~

She said: My husband and I were watching some TV show the other night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he were in fact "cheating" on her. My husband asked me if I would ever do that.

I said, "Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you."

~~~

According to a new poll, women are much better liars than men.

At least that’s what THEY say… but they could be lying.

~~~

A man is lost in the desert.  He used up the last of his water three days ago and he’s lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling "Mush! Mush!"  

Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again, closer this time — "Mush! Mush!"  

Propping himself up on one elbow he squints against the sun and sees, of all things, an Eskimo in a fur coat driving a sled with a team of huskies across the dunes.  Thinking that it’s a hallucination, he blinks and shakes his head, but it’s for real!  He painfully lifts one arm and in a cracked voice calls, "He-elp!"  

The Eskimo pulls the sled up by him, the huskies panting in the heat, and he says to the Eskimo, "I don’t know what you’re doing here, or why, but thank God you are!  I’ve been wandering around this desert for days, my water’s all gone and I’m completely lost!"  

The perspiring Eskimo looks down at him and says, "You think YOU’RE lost!"  

~~~

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

~~~

"What happened to you?" asked the bystander of the man lying on the sidewalk outside of the beauty parlor. The man shook his head groggily and rubbed his bruised chin.

"Last thing I remember was my wife came out of the beauty salon.  I took a look at her and said, ‘Well, Honey, at least you tried,’ and then it was lights out."

~~~

She said: – Do Not Start With Me. You Will Not Win.

~~~

Important Warnings

On the "CycleAware" helmet-mounted mirror: "Remember: Objects in the mirror are actually behind you."

On a large folding cardboard sunshade for car windscreens: "Do not attempt to operate vehicle with sunshade in place."

On a car lock which loops around both the clutch pedal and the steering wheel: "Warning – Remove lock before driving."

In the instructions for a Korean kitchen knife: "Keep out of children."

On a packet of juggling balls: "This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."

On a packet of Nytol sleeping tablets: "Warning: may cause drowsiness."

On a packet of peanuts served on an internal flight in China (written in both English and Chinese): "Open packet and eat contents."

On 500g packets of Sainsbury’s peanuts: "Contains nuts."

~~~

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn’t want them to cross there anymore.

~~~

“Every day is a fresh beginning,

Every morn is the world made new”

Sarah Chauncey Woolsey

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.