Ray's musings and humor

Archive for December, 2010

Happy New Year

The Old Year has gone.  Let the dead past bury its own dead.  The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time.  All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!

Edward Payson Powell

  

Tomorrow is New Years Eve and the Daily team (Ray and his friendly computer) will be off for a long weekend. It is hard to believe that 2010 will soon be only memory and that we get another chance to do it right with the dawning of 2011. I know it has been a difficult year for many and I hope that 2011 will be a better year for everyone. While I can’t really complain about my year, my medical problems did not linger, my family stayed well and did well and my life was generally active and rewarding it was not all what I would have liked, I lost a few friends who I highly regarded, I occasionally had to cancel out on commitments and I sometimes found myself too distracted to pay enough attention to others who were in need. But generally it was a good year filled with budding friendships and interesting experiences.

I have never been too big on resolutions but I do have a few that I want to fulfill, here they are:

  • ·         Pay more attention to the people I meet and listen to what they have to say.
  • ·         Do not promise more than I can deliver.
  • ·         Be available to respond to opportunities when they arise.
  • ·         Maintain a health weight and continue to exercise.
  • ·         Concentrate on appreciating what is good and correcting if I can what is not.
  • ·         Keep an open mind and take advantage of new learning experiences and travel opportunities.
  • ·         Minimize anger and ill will and emphasize caring kindness.
  • ·         Do what I can to help those that I can help.

 

Of course there will be other things as the year goes by and when the need or challenges arise the list can be adjusted. On thing I would suggest is that we all follow the advice offered in this poem by Mother Teresa:

Mother Teresa’s Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway.

 

I honestly believe if you follow the Mother Teresa’s advice and do what’s right anyway, you’ll have a great year, maybe the best one you have ever had.

~~~

Every man should be born again on the first day of January.  Start with a fresh page.  Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.

Henry Ward Beecher

~~~

If you are concerned about not following through on your New Year’s resolutions you might find one or more of these helpful.

10. Read less.

 9. Gain weight.

 8. Stop exercising.

 7. Watch more TV.

 6. Procrastinate more.

 5. Drink. Drink some more.

 4. Start being superstitious.

 3. Spend more time at work.

 2. Stop bringing lunch from home: eat out more.

 1. Take up a new habit!

~~~

Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t find the time. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Vow not to make a promise you don’t think you can keep. Walk tall, and smile more. You’ll look ten years younger. Don’t be afraid to say, ‘I love you’. Say it again. They are the sweetest words in the world.

Ann Landers

~~~

EXCERPTS FROM THE DOG’S DAILY DIARY. . .

8:00 am – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 am – Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 am – Oh Boy! Back in the car for a ride! My favorite!

11:30 am – Oh Boy! A treat! My favorite!

12:00 noon – Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 pm – Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 pm – Oh Boy! The kids friends! My favorite!

5:00 pm – Oh Boy!  More dog food! My favorite!

5:30 pm – Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!

6:30 pm – Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

8:00 pm – Oh Boy! Sleeping in master’s bed! My favorite! Woof!

EXCERPTS FROM THE CAT’S DAILY DIARY. . .

Day 283 Of My Captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.

Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait. . .  it is only a matter of time…  heh heh, Meow!

~~~

We will open the book.  Its pages are blank.  We are going to put words on them ourselves.  The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.

Edith Lovejoy Pierce

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Appreciate the little things

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.

George Moore

  

For the last couple of days I have suggested that focusing on the good things in our lives and dropping memories of the bad can make our days more enjoyable. I find just doing an inventory of the little things, the day to day experiences and the like increases my appreciation for what I do have. It seems like we get to the point where we just expect the sun to come up, the game to start on time, the car to work, the flowers to grow to the point where we begin to think of the experience as ordinary. Just think what it would be like if we did not have air to breathe, food to eat, people to care for or our ability to be who we are. I think the key life satisfaction may be to pay more attention and appreciate all the little things we have.

Probably better than 99% of our life involves how we live each day with the rest being extraordinary. I don’t mean we should not be thrilled by the big things, we should, what I mean is it is the everyday activities that dominate our existence and that is where we can find happiness. So appreciate what you do have and if you don’t like some of the everyday things change them, for example you can always take a different route to work.

Steve Brunkhorst wrote the following about all we have around us, I like it and I hope you will too.

 

Lifetime of Discoveries

There are discoveries all around us—small gifts of joy that bring moments of peace and renewal.

Yet it is easy to miss the small things of uncommon value and inspiration—the cycles of life in a thriving forest, the perfection of a brilliant flower, the purposefulness of a delicate butterfly, or the spiritual beauty within another soul.

If we would stop for only a moment to marvel at this blessing of life, we would find many heart-stirring discoveries where we least expect them.

A small shift in the way we view a situation can make a life-changing difference.

A purposeful change in perspective can spark a sense of freedom, spiritual vision, and peace of mind. It can uncover a life purpose that has gone undetected. It can heal a hurt that has burdened someone for years.

Take time to listen to the emotion in the voice of a friend, feel the warmth of the sunshine, or view the perfect design in the smallest leaf or a cluster of stars.

Become still.

Listen to the voice inside your heart without judging its message. What does it tell you?

Notice and acknowledge your feelings around any situation that might trouble you.

Then ask yourself, “How could I view this situation differently? What new perspective might turn this into a blessing for me or someone else?”

You will be pleased with the sense of freedom and peace it brings to you.

A lifetime of rewarding discoveries is waiting for all who will stop, look, and listen with faith.

~~~

While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She also had her seven-year-old son with her. Everyone gathered around the baby and the little boy asked, “Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?”

“What do you say?” she asked.

Respectfully, the boy replied, “You’re thin and beautiful.”

The woman reached in her purse and gave her son the money.

~~~

“Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.”

The Little Prince

~~~

An attractive older woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and asks for a Scotch with only two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today!”

The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.. ”

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, “I would like to buy you a drink, too.”

The old woman says, “Thank you for your kindness. Mr. Bartender, I’ll have a Scotch with only two drops of water.”

“Coming right up,” says the bartender.

As she finishes her second drink, the man to her left says, “I would like to buy you one too.”

The old woman says, “Thank you for your kindness.. Bartender, I’ll have another Scotch with only two drops of water..”

“Coming right up,” the bartender says. As he gives her the drink the bartender says, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”

The woman replies, “Kid, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole different issue.

~~~

Q: How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Into what?

~~~

She said:

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now…I never looked at it this way before:

MENtal illness

MENstrual cramps

MENtal breakdown

MENopause

GUYnecologist …… AND ……

When we have REAL trouble, it’s a HISterectomy.

Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?

No wonder we men are always in trouble. Ray

~~~

I am in total control, but please don’t tell my wife I said that.

~~~

A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be kind enough to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”

“I have a better idea,” she replied. “Just for tonight, why don’t we pretend that we’re married.”

“Wow! That’s a great idea!!” he exclaimed.

“Good,” she replied. “Come down and get your own blanket!”

~~~

“An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have — the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”

~~~

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.  “Here is the situation,” she said.

“A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?”

A little girl raised her hand and asked, “To draw out all his savings?”

~~~

He who knows others is learned;

He who knows himself is wise.

Lao-tzu

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I am thankful

Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.

Swedish Proverb

 

 

 

This morning as I was thinking of the upcoming New Year and what I might write for today’s Daily when I decided to go back and read what I had written on this day over the past ten years. After I read what we put together for you five years ago I decided nothing I could write today would be more relevant than what I wrote then. Here is what I offered on this day in 2005.

~~~

Soon we will see another year go by. Now is a good time to review our year before we build our wish list for next year. Most of us have had some good days and some bad days, and fortunately most of us had many more good ones than bad ones. We have won often and have lost occasionally, and as always each loss made the next win sweeter. When you add it all it up we have much to be grateful for, we are here, we are not hungry, violent death is not all around us, and our basic needs are satisfied most every day. I am happy that I have been able to travel, learn, and enjoy each day.

Most significantly, I have again benefited from a wife and family that tolerate my weaknesses and provide support whenever I need it. I am grateful that my family stayed healthy and did well, and that my brother-in-law continues to do better each day as he recovers from his stroke.

I appreciate everyone who offered me their friendship, knowledge, and companionship. And I am thankful that I have been able to spend so much time with people who are making positive changes in their lives. As always, I was saddened by the loss of those who are no longer with us, fortunately they live on in my memory. I will always appreciate the time we had together.

Of course there are wishes that did not come true, but that is why there is always a next year and the chance to again make a dream or two come true. I hope your year was as good, if not better than mine. Just think in a few days we get to start over again, I can hardly wait.

~~~

“When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup.”

Sam Lefkowitz

~~~

Reasons why I never visit my rich friend:

Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me and…..

Question : “What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino,or Coffee?”

Answer: ” Tea please”

Question : ” Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea,Bush tea, Honey bush tea,Iced tea or green tea ?” Answer : “Ceylon tea ” Question : “How would you like it ? black or white ?

Answer: “white”

Question: “Milk, or fresh cream?

Answer: “With milk “

Question: “Goat’s milk, or cow’s milk”

Answer: “With cow’s milk please.

Question: ” Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?”

Answer: ” Um, I’ll just take it black. “

Question: ” Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?”

Answer: “With sugar”

Question: ” Beet sugar or cane sugar?”

Answer: “Cane sugar “

Question:” White, brown or yellow sugar?”

Answer: “Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water instead.”

Question: “Mineral water, tap water or distilled water? “

Answer: “Mineral water”

Question: “Flavored or non-flavored ?”

Answer: “I think I’ll just die of thirst!!!!

~~~

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

Rita Rudner

~~~

“I noticed you always carry my photo in your handbag. Why?” a husband asked his wife.

“When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem always disappears,” she said.

The man smiled. “You see how good I am for you?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said. “I see your picture and say to myself, ‘What other problem can there be that is worse than this one?'”

~~~

“One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.”

George Carlin

~~~

A blonde is complaining to her friend what a horrible day at work she had; her boss had a heart attack and died!

Her friend says, “Why, that’s terrible! What did you do?”

The blonde shakes her head and says, “There was nothing I could do. He kept yelling at me to call 911, but he wouldn’t tell me the rest of the numbers!”

~~~

In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior.

Sir Francis Bacon

~~~

An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, “Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you’ve been giving to Mrs. Smith.”  

“Oh, he did, did he?” the doctor shot back. “And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor’s orders?”  

The old man says, “Since he found out I’ve been on birth control pills since February.”  

~~~

“I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.”

Mitch Hedberg

~~~

Judy reports that a not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom, staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: “Give four advantages of breast milk.”

What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

1. No need to boil.

2. Never goes sour.

3. Available whenever necessary.

So far so good – maybe. But the exam demanded a fourth answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again. Suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:

4. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes.

He received an A

~~~

To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. Guaranteed!!

~~~

Bambi, in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said,

“That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.”

~~~

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty;

Not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”

Charles Dickens

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Come on, let’s go

JOIN THE SOCIETY OF CHILDLIKE GROWNUPS.

OUR MOTTO IS: “IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE A HAPPY CHILDHOOD, AND TO MAKE SURE THAT OTHERS DO, TOO!!!”

  

Here we are again near the end of another year and another decade. It is also the time when we need to start the renewal process. It is one of the great things about life for those who understand that they are not the victims of some predetermined destiny for they get to choose their futures. Sure we might not get everything and certainly not overnight but we can take the first steps towards the life that would reward us with more happiness and satisfaction. Of course the key is to actually make a choice and not just a wish.

Far too often people give up on themselves and become so pessimistic that they won’t take the first step believing it would be fruitless. Others feel they need roadmaps and guides before they will even start and then once they do move out they find that they are following someone else’s dream and not their own.

Just this morning I had coffee with some one with talent and personality who seems to have convinced herself that there is little hope for the future; sadly she will be right if she continues to believe that failure is inevitable. Unfortunately she is concerned about what others think about where she is at and where she might go next more than she may be out about finding her own happiness.

My new friend is much better than she realizes and I know she is capable of pulling herself up and building on the good things from her past and current life if she views the previous pitfalls as stepping stones and not weights. I like what Ralph Marston said in the same vein when he wrote:

 

Let go of limiting beliefs

You have the power to change your life. You have the power to change the world.

You can take action, you can make a difference, and you can respond in a positive, creative way to any situation. You can do whatever must be done to live the life of your dreams.

Yet in order to do so you must first believe that you can.

In order to do so you must let go of the limiting beliefs you use to hold yourself back.

Each limiting belief you have is nothing more than a thought that lives in your mind. It is a thought that has power only as long as you continue to hold on to it.

What do you believe you cannot do? Though it may be a comfortable and familiar part of your life, that belief is constantly working against you.

Just as you have chosen to hold that limiting belief, you can choose to let it go. One by one, let go of your limiting beliefs, and free yourself to make the very most of every moment.

~~~

You’ll always miss 100% of the opportunities you don’t take.

~~~

MEMO: PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYEE ASSESSMENT

 

Subject: Prospective Employee Assessment

To: All Managers

 

The following guidelines shall be used when hiring new personnel.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.

If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.

If they don’t even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.

And if they have left early, put them in Sales.

~~~

In front of every silver lining, is a cloud.

~~~

The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome.  The Rabbi notices an unusually fancy phone on a side table in the Pope’s private chambers. “What is that phone for?” he asks the pontiff. “It’s my direct line to the Lord!”

The Rabbi is skeptical, and the Pope notices. The Holy Father insists that the Rabbi try it out, and, so indeed, he is connected to the Lord.  The Rabbi holds a lengthy discussion with Him. After hanging up the Rabbi says. “Thank you very much. This is great! I want to pay for my phone charges.”

The Pope, of course, refuses.  The Rabbi is steadfast and finally, the pontiff gives in.  He checks the counter on the phone and says: “All right!  The charges are 100,000 lira.” The Chief Rabbi gladly hands over a packet of bills. 

A few months later the Pope is in Jerusalem on an official visit.  In the Chief Rabbi’s chambers he sees a phone identical to his and learns it also is a direct line to the Lord. The Pope remembers he has an urgent matter that requires divine consultation and asks if he can use the Rabbi’s phone.

The Rabbi gladly agrees, hands him the phone, and the Pope chats away.

After hanging up, the Pope offers to pay for the phone charges.  The Rabbi looks on the phone counter and says: “1 Shekel.” The Pope looks surprised: “Why so cheap!?!”  The Rabbi smiles: “Local call.”

~~~

You can always find what you’re not looking for.

~~~

A woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, “Mount Sinai Hospital? Hello. Darling, I’d like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients. But I don’t want to know if the patient is better or doing like expected, or worse, I want all the information from top to bottom.”

The voice on the other end of the line said, “Finkel… Finkel, Let me see… Feinberg, Farber — Finkel. Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she’s had two full meals, her doctor says if she continues improving he is going to send her home Tuesday.”

The woman said, “Thank God! That’s wonderful! She’s going home on Tuesday. I’m so happy to hear that. That’s wonderful news.”

The guy on the other end said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be one of the close family.”

She said, “What close family? I’m Sarah Finkel! My doctor tells me nothing!”

~~~

If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister?

~~~

A woman walked up to the manager of a department store.

“Are you hiring any help?” she asked.

“No,” he said. “We already have all the staff we need.”

“Then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?” she asked.

~~~

You don’t have to be in Who’s Who to know what’s what.

Bennett Cerf

~~~

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.

“This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?”

“No, madam,” replied the attendant.  “That one’s called a mirror.”

~~~

The greatest thing is, at any moment, to be willing to give up who we are in order to become all that we can be.

Max De Pree

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Bless you one and all

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.

Norman Vincent Peale

 

 

 

Tomorrow will be Christmas Eve and I have a full day planned that will be topped off with a dinner with another family that has been our tradition for more than thirty years. Each year we reflect on the good times we all had together since we first met as next door neighbors. We have seen all the children grow into successful adults and watched all the grandchildren turn into fine young people. Not everyone will be with us since many will be out of the city but their spirits will be there.

Christian our not I hope you all will join me and leave all worry and stress behind you as we continue in the spirit of Christmas, a time of peace and goodwill. It has been a difficult time for far too many, I hope that reflecting on the blessings we do have will allow us to set our burdens aside even if it is only for a few days.

And for you my dear friends I wish you the very best both for now and forever. I think of so many of you as a gift I have received, a personal blessing if you will, for it is the goodhearted friends we have that adds luster to life’s journey. Thank you for being there.

 

Today I am going to go back and reprint some of the Holiday thoughts from Past Daily’s.

2000

Winter,

Polite people,

Family,

Smiling children,

It must be Christmas, lets hope the spirit lasts this time.

2002

Peace on Earth

Good will towards men

Nothing more needs to be said.

If we all do our part, think what we might………

2003

No matter where you are in the world today, no matter your religion or your beliefs, I hope you too will embrace “Peace on Earth, good-will to men.” I know of no time when goodwill was needed more. The events of the last few years have shown that hatred, animosity, and terror affects us all, and that no one is guaranteed safety and tranquility. It will take us all, and millions of others working for peace and understanding if we are to stop and reverse the insanity. At the very least we can be kind to each other and invest in the brightest possible future for all children in the years ahead. During this season of celebration let us not forget the fact that our religions and our philosophy is based on the promise of a better life for all.

2004

“Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.”

 The Bible: Proverbs. III. 17

“Imagine all the people living life in peace.

You may say I’m a dreamer,

but I’m not the only one.

I hope someday you’ll join us,

and the world will be as one.”

John Lennon

“Peace is our gift to each other.”

Elie Wiesel

2005

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.

Laura Ingalls Wilder

2006

Yes, our Christmas is probably too materialistic, and yes we probably are not as reverent as we might be, but Christmas does live in all of us. The day will be filled with warmth and friendship, a spirit that I would like to see all year. Maybe we would do well to make sure we bank the feelings of the day and use them to make our next Christmas all of 2007 by holding on to the goodwill that we have on Christmas day.

 

Whatever your religion or beliefs I want to you to know I wish you happiness and joy not only during the yuletide but for the weeks, months, and years ahead. Let us not wait for the world to bring us peace and happiness, let us all join up as missionaries and bring it to others, and through them to the world. Let it begin with you and me and at least we and others like us will rest every night knowing we did what we could to keep the spark of goodwill towards man alive for another day, another of our private Christmas days.

2008

The next few days will be a good time to bask in the holiday spirit and be grateful for what we have, especially our friends and our families. Now is a time in our history that we risk falling into to the depths of despair due to the economic conditions and the challenges that life often lays upon us. Thankfully when we review what is important, our family, friends, the air we breathe, the things that are there for us to see and more, the picture brightens. It often is not easy to see what we have as because of the challenges we face each day. But it is the overcoming of challenge that toughens and strengthens us and allows us to concentrate on what is really important.

What lies ahead will require almost all of us to review and plan for the differences that we will experience in the months and years to come. It is a good for most of us to reassess what is important and what really is not all that important. If we spend our time measuring losses based upon life as it once was instead of measuring what our life can be we may miss the chance to find happiness.

 

Do you take for granted the little everyday things that provide you comfort? Do you have a priority list of what really is important and what makes you happy? If you do, good for you for those are the things we need to protect and nurture. The year coming up can mark a new beginning where we have the opportunity to set the stage for a life compatible with the times and one that has the potential to bring us true happiness.

2009

Today is the last Daily until after Christmas. Your Daily crew is going to take the next four days off to enjoy our family and friends and to embrace the hope that comes with a new beginning. For me Christmas signifies the hope that comes from the birth of millions of children that will be born in the days ahead, children that provide us hope that they will get it right and bring peace on earth and goodwill towards men.

 

Let us pray that their innocence and hate free view of the world will not be tainted by the failures of the generations that have preceded them. Let them recognize the beauty that exists in a life that focuses on caring for others and seeing the splendor in a world who appreciates the value of the human experience and that is not driven by greed and excess.

 

The challenges are great and the obstacles monumental but those who taste and remember the simple pleasures of youth and how joy can be found all around for those who care enough to look will know that regaining a world in peace and harmony is well worth the effort.

 

I know some of my time in the days ahead will be spent counting my blessings of which you are one. But while I will find happiness in the glow provided by friends and family I will also be saddened by those who have little or nothing for themselves. I cannot help but wonder sometimes what I might have done in the past for others when I was too busy to see their pain but fortunately the question now fuels the fire that that motivates me to do all I can in the years ahead.

So to one and all I wish you peace and good health and most of all I wish you the happiness that comes from reaching out to others.

2010

Be well my friends and may the days ahead bring you joy.

Merry Christmas

Ray

  

 Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 

Indianapolis, Indiana

 

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Gifts you can give

“Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work.”

William Arthur Ward

 

I started early this morning to get out the Daily and ran into some computer problems that I had to resolve so it is now 3 hours later and no Daily and no time before I have to take care of some medical problems so I am going to look back for a Daily that is in keeping with the season and rush off to my appointments. Have a great day!

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published December 21, 2004

As you look to finish selecting the rest of your holiday gifts you might want to consider these from an unknown author.

To your enemy, forgiveness.

To an opponent, tolerance.

To a friend, your heart.

To every child, a good example.

To all, charity.

To yourself, respect.

I often wonder why when we have so much to give we miss so many chances to make someone happy. When we do we also benefit, for when we give forgiveness we unload our anger, when we are tolerant we no longer search for flaws, when we give our hearts to friends we let them know the joy the bring into our lives, when we are good examples we sow the seeds of goodness in the generations to come, when we are charitable we are rewarded by reinforcing our humanity, and when all is said and done we end our day by respecting ourselves.

~~~

In recognizing the humanity of our fellow beings, we pay ourselves the highest tribute.

Thurgood Marshall

~~~

History from Wendy: For those who never saw the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930’s and ’40’s. Before the Interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers’ fields. They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet……and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream.

 

DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD

TO GAIN A MINUTE

YOU NEED YOUR HEAD

YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT

Burma Shave

 

DROVE TOO LONG

DRIVER SNOOZING

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

IS NOT AMUSING

Burma Shave

 

BROTHER SPEEDER

LET’S REHEARSE

ALL TOGETHER

GOOD MORNING NURSE

Burma Shave

 

BY CAUTIOUS RIDER

TO HER RECKLESS DEAR

LET’S HAVE LESS BULL

AND MORE STEER

Burma Shave

 

SPEED WAS HIGH

WEATHER WAS NOT

TIRES WERE THIN

X MARKS THE SPOT

Burma Shave

~~~

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.

~~~

The boyfriend said, “We’re going to have a GREAT time Saturday.  I’ve gotten three tickets for the big game.”

“Why do we need three?” asked the girl.

“They’re for your Father, Mother, and kid sister.” he replied.

~~~

I got my IQ test results back, they were negative.

~~~

The officer pulled me over for speeding.  I explained that I was rushing home to be with my wife on our first anniversary.

But rather than letting me off, he wrote out the ticket, handed it to me, and said, “Congratulations.  The first year is paper, right?”

~~~

When you learn not to want things so badly, life comes to you.

Jessica Lange

~~~

*A Man’s Guide to What A Woman Is Really Saying*

I JUST NEED SOME SPACE…..  without you in it.

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?… we haven’t had a fight in a while.

NO, PIZZA’S FINE…..  you cheap slob!

I JUST DON’T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW…. I just don’t want you as a boyfriend now.

I DON’T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?… I can’t believe you have nothing planned.

I LIKE YOU, BUT…… I don’t like you.

YOU NEVER LISTEN…. you never listen.

I’LL BE READY IN A MINUTE…. I’m ready, but I’m going to make you wait because I know you will.

OH, NO, I’LL PAY FOR MYSELF…. I’m just being nice; there’s no way I’m going dutch!!

~~~

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

~~~

A little son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first time the rite of baptism by immersion. He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptize his three cats in the bathtub.

The first kitten bore it very well, and so did the young cat, but the old family cat rebelled. It struggled with him, clawed and tore him, and got away.

With considerable effort he caught it again and proceeded with the ceremony. But she acted worse than ever, clawed at him, spit, and scratched his hands and face.

Finally, after barely getting her splattered with water, he dropped her on the floor in disgust and said: “Fine, be an Atheist.”

~~~

Father grumbling to his two boys as he reluctantly gets ready for an evening out:

“Other kids make their mothers too tired to want to go out — but not you two.”

~~~

Forgiveness does not change the past,

But it does enlarge the future.

Paul Boese

~~~

 Stay well, do good work, and have fun. 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Thanks Annie

Remember

This December,

That love weighs more than gold!

Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon

 

It was been a great weekend for me, yesterday I attended our Indianapolis Symphony’s annual yuletide celebration. The production was amazing. It included a great cast of singers and dancers, a couple of talented specialty acts and more content than I can describe. It was hosted by Sandi Patti and she was in great voice. We all left the concert hall with a glow.

On Saturday we had a pre-Christmas celebration with my son’s family. We needed to bring all of our clan together to exchange Christmas wishes and gifts before he and his family left to spend Christmas in London. It is always warming to have our kids and all our grandkids together and Saturday was again no exception. We are truly fortunate that everyone has stayed in Indianapolis and that we are all as much friends as relatives.

But I must say Friday night was the best. It was bitter cold and it was my turn to stand a shift outside a Wal-Mart for a few hours manning a Salvation Army bucket while greeting all the shoppers. I even had a 91 year old lady stop and share with me that it was her birthday and as we stood shivering together she pulled out her checkbook and wrote a check for $25 and put it in the Christmas Kettle. I love the goodhearted and she was one of the best.

But what really made my day was when a friend of mine, a server in a local restaurant, showed up with her six year old daughter to ring bells with me so I would not have to do it alone. Of course the star of our show was the daughter, Madison. She is missing two front teeth and would greet everyone with a wide smile while wishing them “Happy Holidays.” At one point she turned to me and said “I am short and I am funny so please donate money.” What a great gift for me, this young woman and her very young daughter standing with me in the cold so that we could share the experience of doing something for those in need. My friends I have experienced the spirit of the season and believe me it was soul warming. Thanks Annie.

We all have some time left before beginning the new year, time we can spend spreading some yuletide spirit of our own. All we have to do is share a little, appreciate a lot and tell everyone we care and wish them well. If we do that we will begin 2011 with a spirit we can build on as we work to make next year our best ever.

~~~

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.

~~~

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works about 1300 years. While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for both sides. By combining forces, we’re told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukah, as the new holiday is being called.

Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit. As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreidel, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.

Also, instead of translating to “A great miracle happened there,” the message on the dreidel will be the more generic: “Miraculous stuff happens.” In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts.

One of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least three hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner. A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared happy about this.

Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive balance. He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of “Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful.”

~~~

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

Erica Jong

~~~

To: All Employees

From: Management

Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1.  Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.

2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden.  (It runs up an incredible long distance bill.)

3. Eggnog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma’s house.

5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.

6. Work requests are not to be filed under “Bah humbug.”

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.

~~~

Don’t worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they are always watching you.

Robert Fulghum

~~~

Bill had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their two-week’s vacation in France.

“I wish we’d brought the refrigerator with us,” said Morris.

“What on earth for?” asked the wife.

“I’ve left our airline tickets on it.”

~~~

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

~~~

A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well trained salesman says, “But sir, you take an 11 or eleven-and-a-half.”

“Just bring me a size eight.”

The sales guy brings them and the man stuffs his feet into them and stands up in obvious pain.  He turns to the salesman and says, “I’ve lost my house to the I.R.S., I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with my best friend, and my business has filed Chapter 7.

The only pleasure I have left is to come home at night and take my shoes off.”

~~~

“A worrier always seems less troubled by what happens today than by what might happen tomorrow.”

Unknown

~~~

Some neighbors of my grandparents gave them a pumpkin pie as a holiday gift.  As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that the pie tasted bad. It was so inedible that my grandmother had to throw it away.

Ever gracious and tactful, my grandmother still felt obliged to send the neighbors a note.  It read:  “Thank you very much for the pumpkin pie. Something like that doesn’t last very long in our house.”

~~~

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

It is time to live

Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume.

Jean de Boufflers

 

 

 

Sorry all, I am running today with early morning meetings and ringing bells for the Salvation Army outside in the sub-freezing cold there is not enough time for a new Daily so you’ll be getting another from the past. Have a great weekend and I’ll be back on Monday.

Ray

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published December 17, 2003

This is the season filled with the memories of old and new friends. There seems to be a burst of warmth all around us as we are greeted, hugged, and remembered. At the same time many of us remember those no longer with us. Most led full and rewarding lives while others just never got to do all they wanted. As we set our sights on the coming year I thought this letter written by an 83 year old lady provides the wisdom we need to plan the future.

 

   Dear Friend,

Just a note to let you know that I’m reading more and dusting less. I’m sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I’m spending more time with my family and friends and less time working. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure.

I’m trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I’m not “saving” anything; I use my good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries. I’m not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank.

“Someday” and “one of these days” are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it’s worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I’m not sure what others would’ve done had they known they wouldn’t be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would have called family members and a few close friends. They might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner or for whatever their favorite food was. I’m guessing; I’ll never know.

It’s those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn’t written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn’t tell my family and parents often enough how much I truly love them. I’m trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.

~~~

You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you’ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays.

Harrold Hill

~~~

As you may know I am limited to one drink a day because of my health and my medications. In response I have abstained for months. Recently I learned that I can’t bank those drinks for when I go on my next cruise, so all I did was save some money and missed opportunities for some fun. So I have decided to permanently abstain from abstaining; I am confident I will be able to do so. I will savor and nurse my one drink, and I do know that it can’t be a double.

Ray

~~~

Rule #1 If you’re coasting, you’re going down hill.

Rule #2 If you’re not coasting, you’re not going down hill.

~~~

Women have something now called Marriage Anonymous.  When they feel like getting married, they call somebody and they send over a man in a dirty T-shirt who hasn’t shaved in three days, smells like stale beer, and whines at her to make him a snack while he lies on the couch, emits various bodily gases and their accompanying noises, and watches football.

~~~

When you talk about someone behind their back, they will be there someplace.

~~~

Andy Rooney On Answering Machines:

Did you ever hear one of these corny, positive messages on someone’s answering machine? “Hi, it’s a great day and I’m out enjoying it right now.  I hope you are, too.  The thought for the day is ‘share the love.’  Beep.’

“Uh, yeah…this is the VD clinic calling…. Speaking of being positive, your test results are back. Time to stop sharing the love”

~~~

“I have to have a raise,” the man said to his boss. “There are three other companies after me.”

“Is that so?” asked the manager. “What other companies are after you?”

“The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.”

~~~

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

~~~

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar.

And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar.  He had them do this four times.

“Now, said the teacher, “can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?”

A little girl in the back of the room raised her hand with great enthusiasm. “To make the gravy,” came her enthusiastic reply.

~~~

Support bacteria — they’re the only culture some of us have.

~~~

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the bar, so one night he took her along.

“What’ll ya have?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied.

So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel’s and threw his down in one go. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.

“Yuck, it’s nasty poison!” she spluttered. “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!”

“Well, there you go,” cried the husband. “And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”

~~~

“Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.”

Erma Bombeck

~~~

A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage.

He whispers to the usher, “This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I’ll give you a handsome tip.”

The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter.

The usher leans over and whispers, “The wife did it.”

~~~

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

Esther was entranced with an expensive mink coat she had seen in an exclusive shop, and for days she cudgeled her brain to think of a way to bring up the subject to her husband. Suddenly she had an inspired thought.

“Sol, last night I had a lovely dream.”

“What kind of a dream, Esther?”

“I dreamed that we passed by Saks Fifth Avenue, and there in the window was this gorgeous mink coat — only $6,200. And you know what you did? You went right in and bought it for me, Sollie dear!”

“Say, that really was a wonderful dream! Hereafter, in all your dreams, you should wear it in good health, Esther dear!”

~~~

“Let us be a little humble; let us think that the truth may not perhaps be entirely with us.”

Jawaharlal Nehru

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Do you know yourself?

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

Joseph Campbell

 

I have come to believe that Sydney Harris was right when he wrote “Ninety percent of the world’s woe comes from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties, and even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way through life as complete strangers to ourselves.” I meet far too many folks who don’t realize just how good they really are. I know we have talked about it before but we really do not have to win every race or even one. It is the process of life that is important. Far too often we take for granted the everyday skills that make us special.

Just recently I met with two different people who have so much more to offer than they realize. Their dedication, honesty, friendliness coupled with reliable competency makes them more valuable to the real world than a flash in the pan, the ego driven or the high flier. These are the kind of folks you would like as a fellow worker, neighbor and friend. And you know what; these are the kinds of people that make the world work.

Best of all these are those that are capable of finding satisfactory and rewarding lives once they know and value themselves. The happiest people I know are those that themselves by what they do and not by title or the amount of toys they accumulate. I would much rather hold the hand of a caring child than receive some sort of public recognition. The world awaits full of wonder for those who learn how to really live and you know what we all can if we think we can.

 The Man Who Thinks He Can

If you think you are beaten, you are;

If you think you dare not, you don’t.

If you’d like to win, but think you can’t,

It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost,

For out in the world we find

Success begins with a fellows will;

It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you’re outclassed, you are;

You’ve got to think high to rise.

You’ve got to be sure of yourself before

You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go

To the stronger or faster man;

But soon or late the man who wins

Is the one who thinks he can.

 

Walter D. Wintle

~~~

Here are some words for you to use in your conversations today.

Lactomangulation (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the ‘open here’ spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’ side.

Peppier (pehp ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.

~~~

Hypochondriacs are just like fishermen, because neither have to catch anything to be happy.

Lawrence Brotherton

~~~

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. “I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up?”

Nine hands went up.

“Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man. “Too much trouble,” came the reply.

~~~

Marriage changes passion … suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

~~~

Jerry is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.

“I’m ok but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.

“What did he say,” asked the nurse.

“OOPS”

~~~

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions–the little, soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

~~~

A little boy had been pawing over a stationer’s stock of greeting cards for some time when a clerk asked, “Just what is it you’re looking for? A birthday greeting, message to a sick friend, Anniversary or a congratulations to your mom and dad?”

The boy shook his head and answered, “Got any like a blank report card?”

~~~

She said, “I haven’t found Mr. Right, but I have found Mr. Cheap, Mr. Sleazy, and Mr. Wrong.”

~~~

An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter’s house later that night, she seemed upset.

“What happened, Mother?” the daughter asked.

“I had to slap his face three times!”

“You mean he got fresh?”

“No,” she answered…

“I thought he was dead!”

~~~

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles from the Next Exit

~~~

She told me this is true:

WOMEN:

Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power.

But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point. Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.

Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.

Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends. And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to people you come in contact with.

MEN:

Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and killing spiders.

~~~

At my age, forget all the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get

~~~

A man parks his car at the supermarket and is walking into the store. A woman who has just finished loading her groceries in her car asks, “Excuse me, do you want this cart?”

“No,” he answers. “I’m only after one thing.”

As he walks into the store, he hears the woman mutter, “Just like a man.”

~~~

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.

Who looks outside, dreams.

Who looks inside, awakens.

Carl Jung

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Be Happy Always

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance;

the wise grows it under his feet.

James Openheim

 

 I had breakfast today with one of my favorite people who reported that life had become much better during this past year and I was glad for her. Unfortunately she also reported that someone really important in her life was really down. He did not get a job he really wanted, he had lost confidence, gotten in a deep rut and found little or no joy in his life. It distresses me that I meet or hear about so many that are truly unhappy and who don’t believe that they have the ability to change their situation. What bothers me the most is that almost everyone I meet who feels that way can find happiness if someone just helps them see what they have to offer and how good they really are. Recently I received the following article by writer Sylvie Strong that I think would help my friend’s friend and while it is long it is worth sharing.

8 Keys to More Happiness in Your Life

Do you feel like you are in a rut? In our fast-paced society, it is easy to feel dissatisfied with what life offers. Consider these important tips for self-improvement and you will make more out of your time and your life.

1. Happiness Begins With Your Body

Focus on a healthy body first. Get plenty of sleep. 8 hours if you can spare it. If you cannot get 8 hours every night, go to town on a weekend night and go to bed without setting your alarm for the morning. Get 8 hours every night if you can, but having a weekend sleep-in once in a while can do wonders for your state of mind.

A healthy diet is critical too. Consult a nutritionist or educate yourself on healthy eating habits. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables.

Exercise. If you do not use your body, you will begin losing the use of your body as you get older. Nothing helps your mental and physical well being better than regular exercise. Even taking a walk a few times a week can help.

2. Take Stock of The Good Things In Your Life

You are luckier than you think. It is helpful to periodically take stock of all of the positive things in your life. Your family and friends may rank high on that list. By focusing on the gifts you have received you will have perspective on the lemons that life throws at you.

3. Avoid Jumping To Negative Conclusions

It is human nature to walk around with a certain degree of anxiety or fear that others will think negatively of us. When we perceive negativity or distress in another person, it is easy to jump to the conclusion that they are unhappy with us or that we did something to cause them distress. Do not assume that. Find out if another person is truly unhappy with you or if there is something else that is bothering them. By doing so you will prevent misunderstandings and a rift in your relationship. Moreover, if you find out that something else is bothering them, maybe you can offer them comfort or help them with their problem. Simple empathy with the problems of another human being is good for others and good for you.

4. Everything is Gray

Our minds tend to want to think in black and white. But human motivations and behaviors are generally shaded in gray. Rather than attaching absolute qualities (good or bad) to people, recognize that human beings are very complicated. If someone does something that makes you unhappy, their behavior does not necessarily reflect on some absolute quality they cannot change. Instead, communicate with them to understand their motivations and see if you can work with them to develop a better relationship.

5. Avoid Negativity

Negativity can ruin your life. It affects your mood and your health. It poisons your relationship with other people. Recognize negativity in yourself and let it simply float away. If you find yourself drowning in negative thoughts, sometimes it helps to stop what you are doing and do something completely different. A positive outlook can improve your life. A negative one never does.

6. Embrace the Healing Power of Touch

Human beings thrive on touch. Hugs will help your state of mind. Give and receive them often. You will help yourself and improve the lives of your friends and family.

7. You Are A Social Animal. Act Like It!

Invest in your social network and make spending time with friends and family a priority. Become involved in social activities that bring you in contact with new potential friends. There is nothing more detrimental to your mental health than being alone.

8. Help Yourself by Helping Others

It is hard to believe but the more you help other people the happier you will be. Try it! Lend emotional support to friends and family. Start there and then take it up a notch by volunteering for charitable organizations in your community. You will not believe how much purpose and happiness will come to your life if you spend time helping others.

Keep these 8 tips in mind and you will see more happiness in your own life and you will enrich the lives of the people around.

~~~

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness.  You have to catch it yourself.

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

Infamous Quotes of State Troopers

“So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?”

“Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you yet another ticket.”

“The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?”

“Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

“No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”

“Just how big were those ‘two beers’?”

~~~

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

~~~

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, “Get me a coffee, quickly!”

The voice from the other side responded, “You fool you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?”

“No,” replied the trainee.

“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you fool!”

The trainee shouted back, “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?”

“No.” replied the Managing Director indignantly.

“Good!” replied the trainee and put down the phone.

~~~

“I wish I were telepathic. Not just to read people’s minds, which would be cool, but to cut down on my cellular phone bill.”

Paul Wiley

~~~

Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea.

“I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails.  He makes me terribly nervous.”

“My Billy used to do the same thing,” the older woman replied.  “But I broke him of the habit.”

“How?”

“I hid his teeth.”

~~~

Why do they report power outages on TV?

~~~

The old man had died.  A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.

Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that’s your pa.”

~~~

“Teach a parrot the terms “supply and demand” and you’ve got an economist.”

Thomas Carlyle

~~~

On their 25th anniversary, a husband took his wife out to dinner. Their teenage daughters said they’d have dessert waiting for them when they returned.

After they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: “Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn’t do!”

“I suppose,” The husband responded, “we could vacuum.”

~~~

Pleasure is spread through the earth

In stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find.

William Wordsworth

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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