Ray's musings and humor

Archive for June, 2018

Believe in yourself

Ray’s Daily

June 29, 2018


Follow your dreams, believe in yourself and don’t give up.

Rachel Corrie

Believe in yourself

Life is not always easy for many of us. These can be trying days not just for us who have lived full lives but also for those just starting their life journey. I recently spent some time with an extremely talented young lady. She is a highly motivated intellectual with many talents, maybe too many. You see my young friend is loaded with skills and curiosity to the point that she has yet to chose a path that will allow her to focus her time and energy on what will allow her to start on a rewarding career path.

I have another young friend who has vocational skills but who is a free spirit more focused on the pursuit of his dreams than he is on a career. I wish him well as he is not a lot different than I was at his age. It was more like I did not chose my path as much as my path chose me.

What is important to me is that my young friends not give up on themselves. Things seldom go exactly as we wish they would, it is our ability to retain our confidence that takes us to where we belong.

Here is piece I got from the Motivational blog years ago that I think is valuable to all.

Believe in Yourself

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be. That’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.

There are times when people disappoint you and let you down. But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be. Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself!


Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale



* Your feet stick to grape jelly on the kitchen floor–and you don’t care.

* When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone’s bleeding.

* You can’t find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.

* Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.

* Popsicle’s become a food staple.

* Your favorite television show is a cartoon.

* You’re willing to kiss your child’s boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on.

* You’re so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!

* You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.

* You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.

* You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

* You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

* Your kid throws up and you catch it.

* You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet… you still managed to gain 10 pounds.


Animals may be our friends. But they won’t pick you up at the airport.

Bobcat Goldthwait


Mama was making pancakes for her two sons, Max age 5 and Sam age 3.  The boys began to argue who should get the first pancake.

“Shame on you, boys.  If King Solomon, the wise king, were here, he would say, let my brother have the first pancake.”

Max looked at Sam and said, “O.K., you be King Solomon today.”


Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.

Edmund Burke


Not long after their wedding, the newlyweds awoke early one morning. The couple had been up for quite a while before they met up in the kitchen. Marriage was agreeing with the husband, and he greeted his new wife with glee and excitation that morning.

“If you’ll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart,” said the newlywed bride, “breakfast will be ready.”

“Great! What are we having for breakfast?” he asked “Toast and juice.” replied the bride.


“What a man thinks of himself, that is what determines, or rather indicates, his fate.”

Henry David Thoreau


How To Lie To The Bathroom Scale

  1. Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner… as well as in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it’s nice to see how much weight you’ve lost over- night.
  2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.
  3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset. Don’t forget the earrings, these things can weigh at least a pound.
  4. Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are always five pounds off…to your advantage.
  5. Always go to the bathroom first.
  6. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.
  7. Don’t eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you’ve weighed in, completely naked, of course.
  8. Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a pound of hair (hopefully).
  9. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has to weigh something, right?).
  10. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it’s worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you’d stepped on normally.

Actually I have found that I can get a more accurate reading if I just keep holding on to the towel rack. You also might consider getting on the scale and then using the adjustment knob set the reading to your target weight. Then get off the scale and get back on, you will feel great when you can tell people that when you weighed yourself that morning the scale readout was your target weight. Ray


There’s a lot of stress out there, and to handle it, you just need to believe in yourself; always go back to the person that you know you are, and don’t let anybody tell you any different, because everyone’s special and everyone’s awesome.

McKayla Maroney


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



It will be better

Ray’s Daily

June 28, 2018


You can’t always get what you want. But, if you’re lucky, you get what you need.

Justin Bieber


I have found myself a little overwhelmed in the past few days. The application my healthcare providers implemented to capture my vitals is not working. My body is not moving as fast as I need it to, and my wife’s needs have kept me from my former daily routine.

Since I really don’t like life in the rut I am going to reprogram my activities to bring them into better balance. I may even follow the advice in ther following article.

The Ground of Your Basic Goodness


A lot of the time, life can be pretty stressful:

  • You feel like you’re treading water, or drowning from an overwhelming number of things to do.
  • You feel bad about yourself because you’re not sticking to things, you’re in debt, you’re overweight, you feel like you keep messing up.
  • Your relationships are a mess, you’re fighting a lot, you feel lonely.
  • Things suddenly happen to shake up your life, or maybe it’s constantly being shaken up, and you’re facing tremendous change and uncertainty.
  • Basically, life can feel groundless – no solid, stable ground under your feet.

And the truth is, that’s almost all the time. Our lives are always groundless, even if we try to get routines and control and stability. Things constantly happen to pull the rug out from under our feet, and that kind of uncertainty can be stressful, disappointing, painful, uncomfortable.

So what can we do? We start by just dropping into the moment. Just notice the particularities of this incredible moment. Start to tenderly feel the moment as it is, right now, without trying to make it any different. Start to feel, with a raw and open heart, the magic of this miraculous moment.

That’s a pretty good start. Then drop into this short meditation:

Pay attention to how your body feels. What does it feel like to be alive right now? It’s a feeling, this aliveness — what does that feel like? Feel that for a minute. Synchronize your mind with your breath. Instead of having your mind doing something else, let it just rest on the sensation of the breath. What is that like? Stay here for a minute. Come back if you start to wander off.

Now just keep an open awareness on your experience. Notice how your heart feels. If there’s any kind of pain, tension, tightness — just notice that. Notice the tenderness under the pain, tension, tightness. That’s your tender heart.

Start to feel the basic goodness inside of you. That includes your tender heart, but also your pain, stress, discomfort, and all the sensations of your breath and body. It includes your ever-present awareness. It includes everything. You don’t have a basic goodness, you are basic goodness.

This is the ground of your existence. It’s not stability in your life, not routines or systems, not a sureness of who you are or what your world is. It’s just awareness of your basic goodness. And you can start to feel it, if you practice the meditation above. You can start to sense it, and trust in it. It’s always there, in the background. It’s the vast blue sky to the clouds of your thoughts and feelings.


Meditation can help us embrace our worries, our fear, our anger; and that is very healing. We let our own natural capacity of healing do the work.

Thich Nhat Hanh


My dentist recently hired a beautiful young blonde as a dental hygienist. We exchanged small talk for a half an hour as she cleaned my teeth and I gazed into her pale blue eyes.  When she finished, she smiled and said, “You have the most perfect mouth.”

My heart skipped a beat! Then she continued, “Usually I have a lot of trouble reaching people’s wisdom teeth, but your mouth is so big that I can get both hands in easily!”


“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.”

James Dent


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” countered the prisoner.


If you want to hide candy bars so you can eat them after the kids are in bed, put the candy in the freezer in a paper bag labeled “Fish.”


Good Advice About Love:

“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” — Dick, age 7

“Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.” — Lynnette, age 8

“Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!” — Ricky, age 7

“Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.” — Erin, age 8

“Sensitivity don’t hurt.” — Robbie, age 8

“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” — Erin, age 8

“Don’t say you love somebody and then change your mind. Love isn’t like picking what movie you want to watch.” — Natalie, age 9


Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch to be sure.


Retirement Village activities:

You write thank you notes without being told.

Neighbors borrow your tools.

Others ask for your recipes.

You start Christmas shopping in August.

You don’t drive after dark.


We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection.

Dalai Lama


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


See it all

Ray’s Daily

June 27, 2018


“Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death”

Albert Einstein


Yesterday was tough, too much to do and not enough time to do it. Since I am running behind so I am sending a reprint this morning.

Ray’s Daily first published on June 27, 2007

I attended a lecture today that helped me again realize that I miss more than I need to and what I miss is often vital to my understanding what I am seeing. I am concerned that my curiosity may have waned over the years. It seems like I often stop looking too soon and miss the nuance of what I am seeing.

I wonder if it is laziness or pride that drives me to draw conclusions at the first recognition of what I am seeing. I hope not, as being first with an answer is not how score should be kept, it is kept on the accuracy of what we see. Too often the visual assumption that I may have made has been based on how what I am seeing is similar to what I have seen before. What I report may be good enough most of the time but often it is less than it might be as I have missed the details. And like they say “The Devil Is in the Details,” and the details may change the picture dramatically and with a completely different perception than what I had when I quit looking too soon.

I know this probably sounds convoluted but look at it this way, when we look at something there is a surface image in the foreground that often dominates when seen it is seen only as a surface dimension, but often there is background that takes us to a deeper depth of understanding. Even without background there is often more to see by seeing all of the picture elements and not just the primary subject. Do things change if we see a pretty girl alongside a table with a cigarette burning in an ashtray and then see the same girl with only a perfect rose on that very same table.

Einstein said intellectual growth should continue throughout life. I wonder if that is possible if we let our curiosity whither, sacrificed because of our impatience and intellectual laziness. This does not apply to you of course, just to me and a few others.


The cure for boredom is curiosity.

There is no cure for curiosity.

Dorothy Parker


A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?”

“Somebody else’s pants.”


Why is it that night falls but day breaks?


The decision to carry heart defibrillators on airplanes saved a passenger’s life on a Dallas flight.

Unfortunately, his HMO only covers coronaries on round trip flights, purchased 14 days in advance with a Saturday stay over.


The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.

Wilson Mizner


There’s a story about an MIT student who spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed, blowing a whistle, and then walking off the field.

At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field.

The guy wrote his thesis on this and graduated.


“The person who would like to make his dreams come true must stay awake.”

Richard Wheeler


A married lady friend sent this; I wonder what she is trying to tell us.

A woman’s perfect breakfast:

She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl

… and her husband is on the back of the milk carton


Which came first? The woman or the department store?


A housewife with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said, “Hi, Daddy!” and she began telling him about her day. She then passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work.

When it was finally the wife’s turn to talk she took the receiver and said, “Hi, hon.”

“Thank God, lady,” the voice on the other end replied. “I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered is here!”


I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!




  1. His first words to the congregation on Sunday morning are “alright, listen up you heathens…”
  2. He falls asleep during his own sermon.
  3. He shows up for Sunday service wearing Bermuda shorts and a Tank Top
  4. Every time his pager goes off, he shouts, “Why can’t they just leave me alone?!”
  5. Announces baptismal services will be at the Grand Canyon
  6. You go to his office for counseling and pour your heart out to him and he says, “Sounds like a personal problem to me.”


  1. For the past two months he has preached the same sermon every Sunday.


A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.

Chinese Proverb


Two truck drivers, Ralph and Cletus, who drove as a team, were interviewing for a job at a new trucking company. Many questions were asked, and answered, with Ralph doing most of the talking as Cletus never had much to say.

The interview was coming to a close with one more question. “Ralph, you’re driving in the mountains in Colorado. You’re going down a very steep grade with a very sharp curve at the bottom. All of a sudden, your brakes quit. What do you do?”

Ralph scratched his chin for a bit, then said, “I’d wake up Cletus.”

The interviewer was puzzled and asked “Why wake up Cletus?”

Ralph replied, “Because he ain’t never seen a wreck like we’re fixin to have!”


Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!


Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract’s sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company’s chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, “This man,” he announced, “called in sick yesterday!”

There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator.

“Wow,” he said. “Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn’t been sick!”


I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.

Eleanor Roosevelt


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


What do you say we do it today

Ray’s Daily

June 26, 2018


Well begun is half done.


Don't Wait

I want to share with you today excerpts from an article written by Leo Babauta entitled Simple Habits of Non-Procrastinators. I just hope I don’t put off implementing his suggestions. You see the worst habit I have acquired in recent years is having a moving things-to-do list. More accurately it has become more of a things-to-do-tomorrow list.

The only benefit I get is that one day I will get relief from my self-inflicted pain when I finally do what I should have done before. In the meantime of course I let myself suffer because of inaction. So now the first thing I am going to do is write a big note that says DO IT NOW and put it up were I will see it tomorrow.

Compassion for Future Self

I think non-procrastinators formed this habit when they were in elementary school, and don’t even realize they’re doing it much of the time. Something happened when they were young — maybe they turned something in late because they procrastinated, or they had to do it last-minute and really hated it — but they learned that putting things off equals future pain.

So instead, they have a mental habit of thinking:

  • If I put this off, it will just be more trouble for me in the future; or
  • If I do this now, I will be happier in the future; so therefore
  • I should just get it over with and do it now.

So simple, and yet this must be ingrained as a habit. Instead, most people have a habit of thinking:

  • I can do this later, it’s not a problem, I would rather do something else right now; or
  • I want to get away from this pain right now, I’d rather put it off and relieve my stress with comfort food/distraction/etc.
  • Therefore, Internet!

It’s such a strongly ingrained habit that we don’t even think about it.

To change the habit, pause and be more deliberate. Think about your future self, tomorrow or a year from now. What action taken today, and repeatedly, would make this future self happier? How can you be compassion with this future self, so that they don’t have to suffer?

Practice it and make it a habit. It’s simple, but again, combine it with the next habit, and you’ll see the power of this method.


Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them.

William Arthur Ward


The Matchmaker goes to see Mr. Avery, a confirmed bachelor for many years.  “Mr. Avery, don’t leave it too late.  I have exactly the one you need.  You only have to say the word and you’ll meet and be married in no time!” says the Matchmaker.

“Don’t bother,” replies Mr. Avery, “I’ve two sisters at home who look after all my needs.”

“That’s all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife.”

“I said ‘two sisters’. I didn’t say they were mine.”


Kissing  —  A means of getting two people so close together that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.


A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, “Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor’s wife.”


Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.


The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord Nelson. This was particularly interesting, because the institution already had a “Lord Nelson.” The head psychiatrist, after due consideration, decided to put the two men in the same room, feeling that the similarity of their delusions might prompt an adjustment in each that would help in curing them. It was a calculated risk, of course, for the two men might react violently to one another, but they were introduced and then left alone and no disturbance was heard from the room that night.

The next morning, the doctor had a talk with his new patient and was more than pleasantly surprised when he was told: “Doctor, I’ve been suffering from a delusion. I know now that I am not Lord Nelson.” “That’s wonderful,” said the doctor.

“Yes,” said the patient, smiling demurely, “I’m Lady Nelson.”


If aliens saw us walking in the park, picking up after our dogs, who will THEY think is the dominant species?


The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.  “We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend.

“I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?”

“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely.  “Why there are three doctors there already!”


People who think they’re out of this world make you wish they were.


Morris and Harry were both fanatics about deep sea fishing.  Each would come back from fishing trips, and tell the other big lies about the number, and sizes of the fish they caught.

So Morris comes back from his latest fishing trip, and tells Harry… ….” You wouldn’t believe, but in da Bahamas I caught a 500 pound herring. ”

Harry says….” That’s nothing, last time I fished in da Bahamas, I pulled up an old lantern from a sunken Spanish ship….and da candle was still burning ! ”

They both looked at each other, knowing that the other was lying.

Finally, Harry said to Morris….” Look Morris, if you take 450 pounds from off your herring….I’ll blow out my candle! ”


“The wise does at once what the fool does at last.”

Baltasar Gracian


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Life goes on

Ray’s Daily

June 25, 2018


“The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.”

Robert Frost


My family has been helping my wife and I to plan what is next in our lives. My wife’s special needs would be difficult to provide for if I have another hospitalization. My failing eyesight will keep me from driving one day. In other words, we need to plan to relocate to a facility that will allow us to continue our full lives while having whatever assistance we require close by.

I am glad we have children and grandchildren to help us plan to do what needs to be done. I view it as just another step in our effort to age gracefully. I think the secret is to accept necessary changes and not resist what must be done.

Ageing can be fun if you stay flexible and retain your sense of humor. Here is a short piece for those of you yet to enjoy seniorhood.

5 Great Things About Growing Old

By Anne-Marie O’Neill

You’ll Be Happier – As it turns out, most grumpy old people used to be grumpy young people. Aging doesn’t turn a cheerful person into a grouch. To the contrary, research has shown that, as we age, we become more emotionally stable and content. In early adulthood, there are a lot of what-ifs: Am I going to find a soul mate? Have a child? Build a rewarding career? Then you spend the next few decades striving to achieve those goals. But when you’re older, the what-ifs have been resolved. So you are less stressed and can—finally—relax.

Wise Decisions Will Come More Easily – Scientists used to think that we lose a significant number of our brain cells as we age, but more sophisticated scans have debunked that theory. We now know that we hit our cognitive peak between the ages of 40 and 68. Through the years, our brains build up connections and recognize patterns—meaning we’re better problem-solvers and can more quickly get the gist of an argument.

The Fashion Police Will Be Off Your Back – Go ahead and wear five-finger running shoes or orthopedic sandals. No longer must you prance around in painful heels. Now you can climb steep steps past young wobblies in magnificent toe-crushers.

You’ll Know Who You Are – A sense of urgency comes with aging. Before I was 75, I was tentative about many things. But now I know my own voice, and most important, I have the confidence to use it.

You’ll Have Time on Your Hands – If you’ve been driving yourself for years—working, raising a family, or both—it’s an adjustment to have spare time once your job has slowed down and the kids have flown the coop. The good thing about getting older is that you’ve seen it all, lived it all, felt it all—and now you can take a moment to share what you’ve learned. I dedicate many of my hours these days to mentoring people: I’ve helped friends’ children choose careers and advised a girlfriend on how to start the second chapter in her professional life. I can’t think of a way to spend my time that is more gratifying.


It is not how old you are, but how you are old.

Marie Dressler


An old man was in his golden years, but that didn’t stop him from trying to pick up the younger ladies.  He went to the local bar, approached a very pretty and very young woman and said, “Where have you been all my life?”

The young lady takes one glance at him and says, “For the first half of it, I wasn’t even born yet.”


Drive carefully It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.


While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs.

One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, “What does ‘hybrid pulse D/A converter’ mean?”

“That means”, he said, “that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal – that is, into music.”

“In other words this CD player plays CDs.”



Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.



  1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
  2. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your own children.
  3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
  4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
  5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
  6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids.  They will choose your nursing home.


It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.


Her English professor was stopped for speeding. When asked why she was driving so fast, she quoted Robert Frost: “I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.”

“But, Miss,” replied the officer, obviously familiar with the poet, “Frost chose the road less traveled, and, unfortunately for you, this wasn’t it.”


Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.

Martin Buxbaum


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Ray’s Daily

June 22, 2018


As time passes, we like to simplify our lives.

Hubert de Givenchy


I had breakfast with an old friend yesterday. She is a highly regarded university professor who also has made significant contributions to global health. I have always enjoyed our periodic get togethers as she filled me in on her efforts. She is a good example of what smart folks with good hearts can do,

My only concern has been that she, like so many others like her, has said yes too many times, I was pleased to learn that she has slowed down and is spending some time on herself.

I know that the sure way to drop the ball is by trying to juggle too many of them at one time, I know that my friend will have many happy years balancing her service with her personal enjoyment.

I recently read an article written by Krissy McNeill that reminds me of my friend’s current life changes. Here it part is what she wrote.

City Simplified: Slowing Down While Living Fast

  1. Sit at coffee shops with nothing but your coffee.

This one is my favorite because that is how I let myself finally come to the realization that I could live both ways. Take in the souls around you, take in the rushed orders and the baristas ready to pull their hair out. Watch as people hit fast forward while you sit right in the live moment. Sip your coffee slow, put your phone away and let your mind wander with nowhere to be.

  1. Accept that you want to live slower.

In order to be better, you need to become better, and in order to become better, you need to tell yourself that you are capable. The first thing you need to let yourself do is accept, because if you can’t accept, you’ll never get there. It’s ok to want to slow down in such a rushed area. It’s ok to want to take it all in for a minute. It’s ok to find a quiet park and lay there with only yourself. It’s ok to walk slower as people are shoulder checking you. It’s all ok, and you need to let yourself know that.

  1. Clean out your closet.

Get rid of what you don’t need, what hasn’t been worn within the last year, and what you will never wear again. If you forgot you had it, you probably won’t wear it again, or you need to remove all the clothes that were hiding that specific piece. If you want to live a minimalist lifestyle in a fast-moving city, get ready to remove clutter. Once you remove unnecessary pieces, you will instantly feel more free and more calm, and much more ready to live this life you’ve chosen.

  1. Find your quiet spot.

I’m telling you, it’s out there. No matter what city you are in, you can find a spot where you are able to sit and breathe with no one there to bother you. Walk around and look for it, then go to this spot regularly. Read a book, magazine, your phone even, whatever you want. Just make sure you find your spot, it’ll come in handy at just the right times.

  1. You can live the city life tomorrow.

It’s important to let yourself know that you can still live this fast-paced lifestyle whenever you please, but for today, you are going to let yourself live slower. You are going to more minimalistic in this city, because you need it. Even if you only do this for 24-hours out of an entire month, that’s ok. Once you realize that the city is still right in front of you, that this lifestyle isn’t going anywhere, you will be able to slow down easier. You don’t have to give it all up, you just need to let your mind know that.


The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.

Hans Hofman


She said: My husband and I were watching some TV show the other night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he were in fact “cheating” on her. My husband asked me if I would ever do that.

I said, “Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you.”


According to a new poll, women are much better liars than men.

At least that’s what THEY say… but they could be lying.


A man is lost in the desert.  He used up the last of his water three days ago and he’s lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling “Mush! Mush!”

Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again, closer this time — “Mush! Mush!”

Propping himself up on one elbow he squints against the sun and sees, of all things, an Eskimo in a fur coat driving a sled with a team of huskies across the dunes.  Thinking that it’s a hallucination, he blinks and shakes his head, but it’s for real!  He painfully lifts one arm and in a cracked voice calls, “He-elp!”

The Eskimo pulls the sled up by him, the huskies panting in the heat, and he says to the Eskimo, “I don’t know what you’re doing here, or why, but thank God you are!  I’ve been wandering around this desert for days, my water’s all gone and I’m completely lost!”

The perspiring Eskimo looks down at him and says, “You think YOU’RE lost!”


Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.


“What happened to you?” asked the bystander of the man lying on the sidewalk outside of the beauty parlor. The man shook his head groggily and rubbed his bruised chin.

“Last thing I remember was my wife came out of the beauty salon.  I took a look at her and said, ‘Well, Honey, at least you tried,’ and then it was lights out.”


She said: – Do Not Start With Me. You Will Not Win.


Important Warnings

On the “CycleAware” helmet-mounted mirror: “Remember: Objects in the mirror are actually behind you.”

On a large folding cardboard sunshade for car windscreens: “Do not attempt to operate vehicle with sunshade in place.”

On a car lock which loops around both the clutch pedal and the steering wheel: “Warning – Remove lock before driving.”

In the instructions for a Korean kitchen knife: “Keep out of children.”

On a packet of juggling balls: “This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA.”

On a packet of Nytol sleeping tablets: “Warning: may cause drowsiness.”

On a packet of peanuts served on an internal flight in China (written in both English and Chinese): “Open packet and eat contents.”

On 500g packets of Sainsbury’s peanuts: “Contains nuts.”


Simplicity of living, if deliberately chosen, implies a compassionate approach to life.  It means that we are choosing to live our daily lives with some degree of conscious appreciation of the condition of the rest of the world. 

Duane Elgin


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Don’t be misled

Ray’s Daily

June 21. 2018


What people believe prevails over the truth.



I am discouraged by the excessive use of innuendo, slurs and falsehoods in today’s communications. We are inundated with negative pollical ads that seldom are based on the facts. Today’s information sources propagate rumor, falsehoods and outrageous fabrications that are repeated without regard to their accuracy. It seems like truth is no longer important if the lie supports one’s beliefs. The ends do not justify the means if the means are false.

The Nazis believed that if you told a lie often enough people would believe the lie to be true. Unfortunately, it seems like that is what is happening to far too many folks as they take rumor as gospel without regard to source or accuracy. Democracy is dependent on an enlightened electorate and will fail if the public responds to the siren song of the propogandists.

I may have shared the following story with you before, if I did I think it is worth repeating.

 The Triple-Filter Test

Author Unknown

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”

“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“Well, no,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now, let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“Umm, no, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about my friend, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left—the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”


Proof is boring. Proof is tiresome. Proof is an irrelevance. People would far rather be handed an easy lie than search for a difficult truth, especially if it suits their own purposes.

Joe Abercrombie


Classic Tower Conversations

“Air Force ’45, it appears your engine has…oh, disregard…I see you’ve already ejected.”

“About three miles ahead, you’ve got traffic 12 o’clock, five miles.” If you hear me, traffic no longer a factor.”

“Climb like your life depends on it…because it does.”


This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Dorothy Parker


After watching his mother change the diaper on his newborn sister, a three year old boy voices his concern that she seems to be missing some parts.

So in terms the mother thought he would understand, she explains to her son the difference between boys and girls. Then to make sure he understood what she said, she asks him,

“Okay son, now what do you have that your new baby sister doesn’t?”

Smiling broadly, the boy proudly says, “Teeth!”


Those who want much, are always much in need.



A friend and I were shopping for dresses for her three-year-old girls to wear to a wedding.  In the store, another girl staring intently at Sarah and Becky asked, “Are those girls twins?”

“Actually they’re triplets,” I explained. “They have a brother at home.”

“Wow,” she replied. “They sure look like twins to me.”


We were driving our three-year-old son to his Grandma’s home when we stopped at a store.  Once inside, our son decided he wanted one of those large gumballs.

I told him he couldn’t have one, and he began to pout.  I leaned over to him and said, “This is a fact of life:  You don’t always get everything you want.”

“I know,” he replied.  “Just don’t tell Gramma.”


On the bottom of an office memo:  “If you have any questions, please read again.”


A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars that were all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got caught and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation and was about to walk away when the man asked, “Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair – there were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?”

“Ever go fishing?” the policeman asked the man.

“Ummm, yeah…,” the driver replied.

The officer grinned and said, “Ever catch all the fish?”


It would not be impossible to prove with sufficient repetition and a psychological understanding of the people concerned that a square is in fact a circle. They are mere words, and words can be molded until they clothe ideas and disguise.    

Joseph Goebbels


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Do you know yourself?

Ray’s Daily

June 20, 2018


You are stronger than you realize. You are more capable than you can imagine.

Dieter F. Uchrdorf

Appreciate yourself

Too many of us spend so much time trying to make others like us that we have little time to appreciate the most important person in our lives, ourselves. I hope you know you are special and you like yourself as much as you should.

One of the things I have liked to do over the years was to help folks see just how good they really are. We really should be one of our own best friends, someone who helps us see who we really are. If we don’t like ourselves why should anyone else like us?

7 Ways To Value Yourself Immediately

by Danica Worthy

  • Appreciate your life exactly the way it is. Right now take a moment to look at your life from the current view with complete appreciation. While setting the intention to change what you would like and remove what no longer serves you.
  • Realize that saying NO is a complete sentence. Saying NO when you need to without feeling the need to explain yourself is empowering. Practice the art of saying NO when the YES will put alter your wellbeing.
  • Cultivate healthy relationships starting with yourself. Begin to treat yourself as if you are the most valuable person in the world and without you the world would be gloomy. Take the time to connect with the earth and take long walks by yourself. Offer a thanks for your life every chance you get. Whatever you need to do to make you feel great do it. The better you treat others will reflect in the relationships you choose to partner with.
  • Set boundaries for yourself and your time. This action will keep your value system in place. Lines will not be crossed if you stand firm in the boundaries you set for yourself. You are creating a non negotiable contract with yourself that others will have to respect in order to connect with you.
  • Comparison is the thief of joy. Remember that you are the only person on this planet with your total DNA and that is your cutting edge. Appreciate all of your quirks and idiosyncrasies as your golden ticket to rock out your own style.
  • Trust yourself and all if your heart’s desires. There are no mistakes only opportunities for growth and expansion. Leverage all of your experiences and trust your intuitive guides. Let your heart lead you home.
  • Don’t settle for mediocrity. Cancel all agreements to be anything other than great. You were born with greatness inside of you. Cultivate it look within and dig up that which may lie dormant. Now is your time.
  • The more you value yourself you are setting the tone for others to do the same. Start now start today. The world needs your light.

What is the worst that can happen when you begin to live your best life?


Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as it should be.

Wayne W. Dyer


My wife seems to be losing her sense of humor for no apparent reason. Why just the other day, she got mad when she announced that she was going to the beauty parlor. I asked, “Are you going in for an estimate or are you going to get the work done?”


Indecision may, or may not, be my problem.

Jimmy Buffett


Two women were chatting about their weekend, but the one was kind of upset.

“So, what’s the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband,” her friend said.

“Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching the most fish!”


People rarely disclose their character so clearly as when they describe someone else’s.


On a trip to the zoo, I made a casual stroll by the cage of a laughing hyena.  A young man was leaning over the bar at the edge of the cage, whispering something in the animal’s direction.

As I stepped closer, I heard him say, “Did you hear the one about…”


It’s easy to understand modern art: If it hangs on the wall it’s a painting, if you can walk around it it’s a sculpture.


“Top 18 Reasons to Play Golf”

  1. You can play without risk of scandal.
  2. Beats mowing the lawn.
  3. Carrying clubs is considered socially acceptable.
  4. Master the essential language: slice, shank, divot, bogie, green fee, sand trap, deep rough, mulligan, hacker, water hazard, double bogie, difficult lie, flub, handicap, worm burner, triple bogie, and Duffer.
  5. Always a doctor nearby.
  6. Would you rather do business at the office?
  7. Handicap accessible.
  8. Two methods to achieve a great score a) play as you lie b) lie as you play
  9. Drop a few shots at the 19th hole.
  10. The worse your game, the better the exercise.
  11. “Holistic” stress reduction.
  12. Great excuse to take a walk.
  13. Work through lies without having to run for office.
  14. Rather sink a birdie than hook a fish.
  15. Putting is such sweet sorrow.
  16. Old golfers never die..they just putter out.
  17. Drinking and driving is encouraged… especially by your opponents.
  18. Having a ball is par for the course.


A man went to his lawyer and said, “I would like to make a will but I don’t know exactly how to go about it.”

The lawyer said, “No problem, leave it all to me.”

The man looked somewhat upset and said, “Well, I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I would like to leave a little to my children too!”


Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.

Coco Chanel


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Don’t be too serious

Ray’s Daily

June 19, 2018


“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.”

relax smiley

With my caregiving responsibilities and other limitations I have become more dependent on my daily encounters to keep me going. Trouble is that things keep changing, one of my favorite checkers at the grocery store has moved. A gal that greeted me at my local drugstore for 25 years has retired and now my friend the pharmacist is leaving at the end of the month. There are more changes in the works that will leave even more holes. I have now learned that it is not just our surroundings but also the people in them that provides a pleasant environment.

My occasional answer to the blues is a trip to the movies to sit for a few hours with a bucket of popcorn while watching a feel-good movie. One of the things of course is that at the show things are not as they would be in reality. I just read an article by Sarah Crow where she explodes some of the fantasy, Here are a few of her disclsues.


Hilariously Impractical Things That Always Happen in Movies


Female Action Heroes Always Wearing Makeup – It seems pretty clear that being an action hero would probably help a person work up a sweat. However, in movies, female action stars are always meticulously coiffed and made-up, with never so much as a drop of sweat or blood on them, even after taking on a veritable army of bad guys.

Knocking Someone Out with a Single Punch – If you want to knock someone out, it’s probably going to take more than just a quick chop to the neck or punch to the back of the head to do it, but you’d never know that from how often this K.O.s villains in films. If movies were a little more realistic, we’d see our villains repeating themselves or feeling sleepy as a result of their concussions instead. And for more movie flubs,

Breaking Through a Window Unscathed – Epic fight scenes are always a lot more exciting when someone crashes through a plate glass window. However, the idea that anyone can soar through a massive pane of glass without incurring some pretty gnarly—and extremely bloody—injuries is wildly unrealistic.

Getting a Parking Spot Every Time – If you’ve ever lived in a big city, you know that getting a parking spot outside your office or building on the first pass is virtually impossible. Of course, circling the block a hundred times does not movie magic make, so when we see a character in a movie pull up somewhere, there’s not only a spot available, they don’t have to awkwardly parallel park to get into it as the drivers behind them honk, either.

Instantaneous DNA Tests – Movie conundrum: you have a DNA sample that needs to be tested. The solution: bring it to your nearest lab and they’ll get results to you in mere seconds—you know, instead of the very long time it might take to accomplish the same thing in an IRL lab.

Villains Fighting One at a Time – Luckily for most movie heroes, the villains they encounter never want to attack all at once. Instead, they simply stand around in a circle, taking on their victim one-by-one, allowing him or her to easily defeat them.

People Running Upstairs to Get Away from Intruders – In real life, if you suspect that someone has broken into your house, you either leave or call the cops. If you’re in a movie, the only thing to do is run upstairs, apparently, ensuring your inevitable demise in the process.

Making Out in the Rain – According to virtually every rom-com out there, there’s virtually nothing more romantic than making out in the rain. The reality? It’s cold. It’s wet. Your clothes are becoming increasingly see-through and stretched out. And your hair? That cute style you spent hours on before your date? Yeah, it’s wet garbage now.


“To have moments of calm – creative or restful – is a form of deep sustenance for human beings of all ages. Relationships are often built in these pauses, in the incidental moments, when nothing much is going on.”

Kim John Payne


A couple had quarreled about money and gone to bed angry. The next morning, they rose, showered, dressed and ate breakfast in silence.

Finally, hoping to break the ice, he said, “You know, honey, I’m not myself today.”

“Really?” she said. “I hadn’t noticed the improvement.”


Lieberman’s law:

Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.


A little old Jewish lady is flying out of New York City on her way to Miami Beach.  She looks at the businessman sitting next to her and asks him, “Excuse me sir, but are you Jewish?”

The man responds politely, “No, ma’am, I’m not Jewish.”

After a little while she again queries him, “You’re really Jewish, aren’t you?”

Again he responds, “No ma’am, I am not Jewish.”

Barely 10 minutes later, the little old lady asks him once more, “Are you sure you’re not Jewish?”

To which in exasperation, and in a final effort to shut her up, he replies, “Okay. Yes, ma’am, I am Jewish.”

“Funny,” she says, looking puzzled, “you don’t look Jewish!”


Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

Virginia Satir


“There were these two Jews……” a comedian said as he started his routine one night.

Immediately, a chap stood up and shouted, ” Just a minute! I’m Jewish – why are you comedians always knocking Jewish people like this? Every other joke you hear these days starts off, “There were these two Jews……..” ”

“Sorry,” said the comedian. ” No need to take offence. I’ll start again. There were these two Chinese, Lee Chan and Fu Ching, on their way over to the synagogue for a bar mitzvah……….”


Why isn’t it okay to fall asleep in Church? After all didn’t God rest on the seventh day as well?


On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long time. He waved, jumped up and down, and stared at the stork a while longer.

Finally, turning to his father, he exclaimed, “Gee, Dad, he doesn’t recognize me.”


“Doing something positive will help turn your mood around. When you smile, your body relaxes. When you experience human touch and interaction, it eases tension in your body.”

Simone Elkeles


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Please Don’t

Ray’s Daily

June 18, 2018


It is even better to act quickly and err than to hesitate until the time of action is past.

Carl von Clausewitz

Don't Hesitate

One of the things that bothered many of my colleagues was my impatience. I regulary would say “let’s quit talking about it and just do it.” All but the youjng seem to me start thinking about we they can’t do something before why they should do something.

I think we would all be better off if more would would decide not to wait to do spme good for far too often wait turns to never. i Know the world would hane missed the chance to improve millions of lives if Naipaulian Hill had hesitated. Here is his story.

Worse than a Bad Decision

–Author Unknown

Do you know why 95% of people out there never “have enough” of anything and find themselves lost, confused, and constantly searching for the reason WHY?

The answer is simple…

“Most people will lose more to indecision than they will to a bad decision.”

— Andrew Carnegie

This is not only the truth; it is the Number One reason people remain unsuccessful in their lives. Even the unsuccessful people aware of this principle remain unconvinced of how powerful decisions are and how debilitating indecision can be.

Let me ask you this…If someone asked you to give up the next 20 years of your life, without being paid, how long would it take you to make that decision?

Maybe you know the story of Andrew Carnegie (believed to be the world’s first Billionaire – see footnote below).He called a young cub reporter into his office and asked him to devote 20 years to interviewing only the world’s richest people in order to share ‘The Secret’ of wealth, success, and happiness with the rest of the world.

But, did you know that Mr. Carnegie secretly held a stopwatch beneath his desk and gave Napoleon Hill only 60 seconds to answer yes or no before he would lose the opportunity forever? Mr. Carnegie knew that if Napoleon required more time to think about it then he was the wrong guy.

You see, Mr. Carnegie knew that ‘Successful People’ make decisions quickly. Napoleon Hill took 32 seconds to say YES… and his lack of indecision led to the writing of “Think and Grow Rich,” the best-selling book responsible for helping to create an estimated One Million Millionaires!

Born into poverty in 1883, Napoleon Hill rose to become one of the world’s most distinguished and respected authors of all time. He moved from newspaper reporter to law student to working for Andrew Carnegie, and became a confidant and advisor to businessmen and presidents. Hill has counted among his many associates Franklin D. Roosevelt, Mahatma Gandhi, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and hundreds of other world leaders.


There are many persons ready to do what is right because in their hearts they know it is right. But they hesitate, waiting for the other fellow to make the make the first move – and he, in turn, waits for you.

Marian Anderson


A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

“Wow!” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?”

“Wrong number…” replied the girl.


God gave us two ends. One to sit on and one to think with. Success depends on which one you use; heads you win, tails, you lose.


Abe was well known for his cheapness and his ‘eye for a bargain’. One day he was looking for a cheap wedding present for his niece, so he went into a thrift shop. As he was walking around, he noticed what was previously an expensive glass crystal vase lying in the corner. It was in 3 pieces. After some haggling with the owner, Abe bought the broken vase for $5. He then filled in the congratulations card, wrote out his niece’s name and address and gave the owner another $5 so that the broken vase could be gift wrapped and mailed. Abe then left the shop feeling quite pleased with himself. He expected his niece to think the vase had broken in the mail.

A few days later, he called his niece to see if the present had arrived.

“Yes, Uncle Abe, but unfortunately, it was in 3 pieces when it was delivered.”

“What terrible luck.” said Abe, “The Post Office is getting worse all the time.”

“It’s a shame,” she replied. “It was so beautifully wrapped. Each piece separately.”


An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, “Got any ID?”

The driver says, “‘Bout what?”


A friend was lecturing in Latin America.  He was going to use a translator, but to identify with his audience, he wanted to begin his talk by saying in Spanish, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.”  He arrived at the auditorium a little early and realized he did not know the Spanish words for ladies and gentlemen. Being rather resourceful, he went to the part of the building where the restrooms were, looked at the signs on the two doors, and memorized those two words.

When the audience arrived and he was introduced, he stood up and said in Spanish, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.”  The audience was shocked.  The people seemed stunned.  He didn’t know whether he had offended them or perhaps they hadn’t heard him or understood him.  So he decided to repeat it.  Again in Spanish he said, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.”

One person in the audience began to snicker.  Pretty soon the entire audience was laughing.  Finally, someone told him that he had said, “Good evening, bathrooms and broom closets!”


The best way to predict your future is to create it.


While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Morris and his wife listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

He addressed the man, “Can you describe your wife’s favorite flower?” Morris leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn’t it?”


“The only thing a person can ever really do is keep moving forward. Take that big leap forward without hesitation, without once looking back. Simply forget the past and forge toward the future.”

Alyson Noel


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


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