Ray's musings and humor

Archive for February, 2022

Stop the War!

Ray’s Daily

February 28, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”

Albert Einstein

Some time ago I visited the Ukrain as part of a United Nations Childrens Fund sponsored trip. I have fond memories of many of the people I met. I learned more about their country and its historical struggles.

Kiwanis also made a film featuring a young singing pianist who had contracted Thyroid Cancer when she lived in the Chernobal nuclear fall out region. This vivacious young lady later preformed at a Kiwanis International convention in the US.  Her and her mother became my friends and I worry about them during the outrageous invasion of the Ukraine by Russia.

What a tragedy that hundreds, if not thousands of innocent folks like my friends will perish because of the inhumane actions of a power hungry dictator. I hope the world has the wherewithal to find a path to peace.

Here is an edited article that reminds us of how nationalism has often resulted in conflict.

NATIONALISM THREAT ON WORLD PEACE

“So it is the human condition that to wish for the greatness of one’s fatherland is to wish evil to one’s neighbors,” said Voltaire. The rise of nationalism across the world, especially in the US, the UK, Russia, China, Germany, France, Hungary, and Italy is alarming. Nationalism is a poisonous idea for it is a feeling of superiority over others and hostility towards other nations. It naturally leads to interventionism, conflicts, and wars. Nationalism breeds cockiness, which is a false confidence and abusive energy. It puts others down to feel good. Nationalism was the primary factor that kept Europe for centuries in conflicts, leading to WWI and WWII. We all recognize that it was the German nationalism that empowered Hitler and afterward brought shame to the Germans. Nationalism was also the factor in the 1990s that the Serbs massacred Muslims in Bosnia and Kosovo, which was globally televised. Most of us remember the 1995 UN safe-haven Srebrenica massacre perpetrated by the Serbian Christians. Nationalism is destructive. “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” said George Santayana.

No religion, nation, or race is intrinsically bad or good. It is what we make it to be. To an assured and peaceful person, it is love and peace to share with others. To a fearful and vicious person, it is a tool to dominate others.

Dr. Mehdi Alavi

~~~

“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.”

Indira Gandhi

~~~

A Jewish man and a Chinese man were conversing. The Jewish man commented upon what a wise people the Chinese are.

“Yes,” replied the Chinese, “Our culture is over 4,000 years old. But, you Jews are a very wise people, too.”

The Jewish man replied, “Yes, our culture is over 5,000 years old.”

The Chinese man was incredulous, “That’s impossible,” he replied. “Where did your people eat for a thousand years?

~~~

On my recent birthday my wife gave me a superb birthday present. She let me win an argument.

~~~

Four retired Army vets are walking down the street window shopping. Then they turn a corner and see a sign that says “Veterans Bar” over the doorway of an entry into an establishment that doesn’t look all that well kept up. They look at each other then go in. On the inside, they realize in this case, they could judge the ‘book by it’s cover’.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, “Come on in and let me pour one for you! What’ll it be, gentlemen?” There seems to be a fully stocked bar so the men all ask for a martini. In short time the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis – shaken not stirred and says, “That’ll be 40 cents, please.” The four men stare at the bartender for a moment then look at each other – they can’t believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis and or! der another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, “That’s 40 more cents, please.”

They pay the 40 cents but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They’ve each had two martinis and so far they’ve spent less than a dollar. Finally one of the men says, “How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime a piece?”

The bartender replies, “No doubt you’ve noticed the decor in here. And the outside ain’t nothin’ to write home about. I don’t waste money on that stuff. But, here’s my story. I’m a retired Master Sargent and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery for $45 million and decided to open this place for real veterans. Every drink costs a dime, wine, liquor, beer, all the same.”

“Wow. That’s quite a story.” says one of the men. The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn’t help but notice three other guys at the end of the! bar who didn’t have a drink in front of them and hadn’t ordered anything the whole time they were there. One man finished his martini and, gestured at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, “What’s with them?”

The bartender says, “Oh, they are retired in Florida. They’re waiting for happy hour

~~~

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

~~~

The sad thing is that I can relate to some of the following:

Three old guys were out walking.

First one says. “Windy isn’t it? “

Second one says, “No its Thursday”!!

Third one says. “So am I. Lets go get a beer”

~~~

I’ll believe psychics when one phones me, just in the nick of time, yelling, “Duck!”

~~~

Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older.”

“What do you mean?” asked the second guy.

“Well,” replied the first. “I can barely remember the last time I got aroused in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!”

“Healthier?  How is that?” his buddy wondered.

“Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she’d get these terrible headaches.” he answered. “Now that we’re older, she hasn’t had a headache in years.”

~~~

“Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?”
 George Carlin

~~~

QUESTIONS I’VE WONDERED ABOUT

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world “up over”?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why is it that night falls and day breaks?

Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Do pilots take crash courses?

How can there be self-help “groups”?

~~~

“Of all our dreams today, there is none more important—or so hard to realize—than that of peace in the world.”

Lester B. Pearson

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Making a Difference

Ray’s Daily

February 25, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”

William James

February may be almost over but there always be time for us to remember that we are a work in progress. Our situations and our environment may change but we must deal with it all. If we stay positive and strive for personal improvement we will have the best chance for personal happiness.

Here are a few tips I found on the internet that offer some ideas as to how we can do well in the days ahead.

Instructions for a wonderful and fulfilling life

  • Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
  • Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
  • When you say, ‘I love you’, mean it.
  • When you say, ‘I’m sorry’, look the person in the eye.
  • Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.
  • Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
  • In disagreements, fight fairly. No name-calling.
  • Don’t judge people by their relatives.
  • Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  • When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
  • Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
  • Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
  • When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  • Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
  • Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
  • Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
  • Read more books and watch less TV.
  • Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll get to enjoy it a second time.
  • A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
  • Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
  • Be gentle with the earth.
  • Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
  • If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
  • Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
  • Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
  • Remember that your character is your destiny.

Author Unknown

~~~

“No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.”

Aesop

~~~

An elderly lady was concerned about her husband’s hearing. It seemed that every time she would call him, he wouldn’t respond. So, the lady went to the doctor to ask his advice.

The doctor said to her, “when you go home, tell your husband to stand at the end of the hallway, and you should stand at the other end.

Ask him what he wants for dinner. Continue to move him closer towards you until he responds to your question so you know exactly how far away he is from you when he finally hears you.”

She thought this was a great idea. When she got home, she placed her husband at the end of the hallway and yelled, “Herbert, what do you want for dinner?”

There was no response. She moved 10 feet closer.

Again she yelled, “Herbert, what do you want for dinner?”

No response.

She moved another 15 feet closer to where she was now practically face to face with her husband.

She yelled even louder this time, “HERBERT, what do you want for dinner?!!”

Herbert yelled back at her, “For the THIRD time, I want chicken!!”

~~~

Things could be worse…Martha Stewart could be your mother-in-law.

~~~

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”

After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of ‘careful consideration,’ she answered. “Yes. Yes, I will.” The meal ended with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective places.

Next morning, he was troubled. “Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?” He couldn’t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?”

He was delighted to hear her say, “Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.” Then she continued, “And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.”

~~~

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.

James Oppenheim

~~~

Mrs. Finkel was in her garden, hanging up her washing on the line when her gossipy neighbor poked her head over the fence.

“I hate to tell you this, Rachel,” said the gossip, “but there’s a rumor that your husband, Abe, is chasing young women. And at his age too!” she clucked like a chicken. “He’s seventy-five, no?”

“Nu, so he’s seventy-five,” replied Mrs Finkel. “So let him chase girls. Dogs chase cars – but when they catch one, can they drive it?”

~~~

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

~~~

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race begin?”

The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and all mankind was made.”

Two days later, the girl asked her father the same question, “How did the human race begin?”

The father answered, “Many years ago, there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God and Dad said it developed from monkeys?”

The mother answered, “Well, dear, it’s very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”

~~~

When everyone thinks alike not much gets thought.

Johan Norberg

~~~

A guy and a girl are having a drink together in a bar. The man raises his glass and says, “Here’s hoping you’re in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you’re dead!”

“What’s that mean?” asks the girl.

“That,” answers her date, “is an authentic Irish toast.”

“Oh. Well, here’s to bread, eggs and cinnamon!”

“Bread, eggs and cinnamon? What’s that?”

The girl says, “That’s French toast.”

~~~

No tool is more beneficial than intelligence.

No enemy is more harmful than ignorance.

Abu Abdullah Muhammad al-Harithi al-Baghdadi al-Mufid

~~~

Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a bench in Brent Cross shopping center talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them.

Sadie says, “You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is and how much he loves his mother.”

Minnie says,”You call that love? You know the Mercedes I just got for Mother’s Day? That’s from my son Bernie. What a doll.”

Shirley says “That’s nothing. You know my son Stanley? He’s in analysis with a psychoanalyst in Harley Street, five sessions a week. And what does he talk about? Me!”

~~~

“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”

St. Francis of Assisi

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

It Is

Ray’s Daily

February 24, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

The greatest sweetener of human life is friendship.

Joseph Addison

I am off getting early morning x-rays so we again revisit the past.

Ray-s Daily first published on February 24, 2005

The other day when I notified a physician friend of mine, at the University of Alabama, of the death of our mutual friend, she reminded me that we have reached the stage in our lives when we lose many old friends. The sad part is that often they leave us without knowing how much we cared for them. We seem to take for granted the gifts we are given each day by others.

When I reflect back on my many friends and colleagues who are no longer with us, I can’t help but wish we would have talked more together, walked more together, laughed more together, and hugged once in awhile. It is a shame that life does not permit us to spend huge amounts of time with all the people we meet and know. Often we meet someone special only once or twice when fate or duty brings us together, yet in those few moments a spark that we share ignites the torch of friendship that is often too fleeting. In my case there are many of you who I have never even met and yet you provide me pleasure by allowing me a few moments of your time each day.

When you get down to it, we really don’t have to wait until the end of someone’s life to tell them how much they are appreciated. We really can do it often, in fact in small ways we can do it everyday. And you know what; we don’t have to limit showing our appreciation for others to only our friends. The tapestry of our lives is woven from the threads of all the people we encounter each day, they enrich our lives. Some are good some, some are not, yet at the end of each day they all have made our day what it was. Each of these encounters provides us an opportunity to appreciate others and to show them we are glad they are there. If we make it a habit, maybe we will not have to feel as I do as I bid farewell to my friend Terry today, knowing that I did not let him know more often how much the gift of his friendship meant to me.

~~~

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out.

It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.

We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

“Let us be a little humble; let us think that the truth may not perhaps be entirely with us.”

Jawaharlal Nehru

~~~

I sat there waiting for my doctor’s partner to make her way through the file that contained my very extensive medical history. After she finished all 17 pages, she looked at me and said, “You look better in person than you do on paper.”

~~~

She said: Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.

~~~

A customer called the airline’s reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit card.  The reservation specialist asked him,

“Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card, sir?”

The customer carefully replied, “V-I-S-A.”

~~~

There are no more hours in a bad day than in a good one!

Unknown

~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her second graders if anyone knew another name for God. She was picturing answers like ‘Lord’ or ‘Almighty’.

After a long moment of silence a little boy raised his hand and said, “Howard.”

“Howard?” replied the confused teacher.

“You know,” continued the boy, “Howard be thy name.”

~~~

“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?”

Barbara Streisand

~~~

The 15-year-old daughter brought home a young Naval Aviator to meet her parents. During dinner, the pilot happened to mention that he was from Glen Burnie, MD. The Mother said, “What a coincidence. My husband and I lived there 17 years ago when we were first married.” The pilot got a strange look on his face and changed the topic of conversation.

The daughter fell strangely silent. After he left, the teen said, “Thanks a LOT Mom. I told him I was 18. Now I’ll have to tell him that I was illegitimate.”

~~~

Even though I was an engineering student, chemistry was a required course in my day. The Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society. When my turn came, I answered, “Blondes!”

~~~

My nursing colleague was preparing an intravenous line for a 15-year-old male patient. The bedside phone rang, and the boy’s mother reached over to pick it up. After talking for a few minutes, the mother held the phone aside and said, “Your father wants to know if you have any cute nurses.” The boy gazed at the nurse, who had the needle poised above his arm, ready for insertion. “Tell him,” he replied, “they’re absolutely gorgeous.”

~~~

If, instead of a gem or even a flower,

we could cast the gift of a lovely thought into the heart of a friend,

that would be giving as the angels give.

George Macdonald

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Friendship

Ray’s Daily

February 23, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“One’s friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.”

George Santayana

I have fond memories of the hundreds of people I have met over the years. Many with who I shared good times and even some bad times. The thing I regret has been how time has created distance between me and those who have meant so much. I am afraid that I am like so many others who have let time keep us distracted to the point that we have failed to keep in touch with so many of the people that have meant so much in the past. Now many are no longer with us and it is too late to let them know how much they were appreciated. I am glad I can stay in touch with so many of you these days for your friendship is very much appreciated.

Here is a poem that is a reminder of how too many of us let our friends slip away.

Around the Corner

          by: Henson Towne

Around the corner I have a friend

In this great city that has no end,

Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,

And before I know it, a year is gone

And I never see my old friends face,

For life is a swift and terrible race,

She knows I like her just as well

As in the days when I rang her bell,

And she rang mine.

We were younger then,

And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish game,

Tired of trying to make a name.

“Tomorrow” I say “I will call on Jane”

“Just to show that I’m thinking of her”

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,

And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner!-yet miles away,

“Here’s a telegram sir-“

“Jane died today.”

And that’s what we get and deserve in the end.

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

If you love someone, tell them. Remember always to say “what you mean”. Never be afraid to express yourself.

Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets. Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, They have helped to make you the person you are today, What it’s all about anyway. Pass this along to your friends. Let it make a difference in your day and theirs.

~~~

“Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.”

Washington Irving

~~~

An emperor in the Far East was growing old and knew it was time to choose his successor. Instead of choosing one of his assistants or his children, he called young people in the kingdom together one day. He said, “It is time for me to step down and choose the next emperor. I have decided to choose one of you. I am going to give each one of you a seed today – one very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from this one seed. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next emperor.”

One boy, named Ling, like the others, received a seed. After about three weeks, some of the other youths began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Ling kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Six months went by. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. A year finally went by and all the youths of the kingdom brought their plants to the emperor for inspection. Ling told his mother that he wasn’t going to take an empty pot. But his mother asked him to be honest about what happened.

When Ling arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other youths. They were beautiful–in all shapes and sizes. Ling put his empty pot on the floor and many of the other children laughed at him. A few felt sorry for him and just said, “Hey, nice try.”

The Emperor surveyed the room, saying, “My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown. Today one of you will be appointed the next emperor!” All of a sudden, the emperor spotted Ling at the back of the room with his empty pot. He looked at Ling, and then announced to the crowd, “Behold your new emperor! His name is Ling!” How could he be the new emperor?

Then the emperor said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone here a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds that would not grow. All of you, except Ling, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. Ling was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new emperor!”

~~~

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

~~~

An author was coming to my local bookstore to discuss her novel, set in Appalachia.  The main character was a “strong-willed heroine fighting to survive the hardships of the times.”  When I went to the reading, I was disappointed to learn that the writer had canceled. 

The reason?  She didn’t want to drive in the rain.

~~~

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”

~~~

“. . .life is short and the world is wide”

Simon Raven

~~~

SIGNS YOU’RE GETTING TOO OLD TO DRIVE

– You think an SUV might be too small to be safe.

– It takes more than four minutes to get out of your car.

– When backing into a parking spot, you just back up until you hear something.

– It scares you to drive the speed limit.

– The only thing you pass on the road anymore is the Amish.

– You use cruise control because your leg fell asleep.

– You use cruise control at 25 mph.

– You inquired if the dealership could install magnifying glass for the windshield.

– Your turn signal has been on since 2003.

– Your bumper sticker endorses Eisenhower.

– When the police pull you over, they’re surprised to find out you’re sober.

~~~

“The traveler sees what he sees; the tourist sees what he has come to see.”

Gilbert K. Chesterton

~~~

Customer: I’m calling about the “dime-a-minute” rate. I want to sign up for that.

Phone Company: Certainly, Sir! Just let me get some information from you.

Customer: Right, well, can you go ahead and tell me when I’ll get my first check? Phone Company: What, Sir?

Customer: Well, since you’re going to give me a dime a minute, I wondered when I’ll start getting paid.

Phone Company: No, Sir, we don’t PAY you.

Customer: You mean this is a FRAUD?

Phone Company: No, Sir! It’s just that we don’t PAY you the dime a minute. Let me let you talk to a supervisor. ….long conversation with supervisor… Phone Company: Now do you understand, Sir?

Customer: I guess so. Could we talk about the “friends-and-family” plan?

I’ve always wanted a little brother.

~~~

“Happy people plan actions, they don’t plan results.”

Denis Waitley

~~~

A Western Buddhist woman was in India, studying with her teacher. She was riding with another woman friend in a rickshaw-like carriage, when they were attacked by a man on the street. In the end, the attacker only succeeded in frightening the women, but the Buddhist woman was quite upset by the event and told her teacher so. She asked him what she should have done – what would have been the appropriate, Buddhist response.

The teacher said very simply, “You should have very mindfully and with great compassion whacked the attacker over the head with your umbrella.”

~~~

“How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live ’em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give ’em.”

Shel Silverstein

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Kindness

Ray’s Daily

February 22, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Mark Twain

~~~

I am off to an early Doctor’s appointment so here is another reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on February 22, 2006

~~~

I think the key to real happiness is our ability to be kind, compassionate, thoughtful, considerate, and caring. There is nothing more satisfying than ending the day with the serenity that comes from caring about others.

There is no joy in being unkind, inconsiderate, or uncaring; all that you reap is isolation and loneliness. While it is not easy to be kind to those who are not, we should try anyway, for no one needs it more than they do. Those who lack the ability to be kind to others may feel they are superior since they care only about themselves, they just don’t realize how sad they are.

So do yourself a favor, smile at the stranger, thank the waitress, and appreciate those around you. Oh yes, by the way, please be there when we need you.

For me I would much rather hold your hand than hold a stick in fear. After all in the end we will be judged by our humanity and not our fame and fortune.

~~~

Only A Southerner Knows

* Only a Southerner knows how many collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up “a mess.”  

* Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”  

* Only a Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is – as in: “Going to town, be back directly.”  

* All Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.  

* Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.  

* Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far piece.” They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.  

* No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

* A Southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.  

* A Southerner knows that when you say “crack” the window you mean open the window up (in the house) or roll it down (in the car).  

* In the South, ‘y’all’ is singular….’all y’all” is plural.  

* And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say “Bless her heart” and go your own way.  

~~~

If someone does not smile at you, be generous and offer your own smile.

Nobody needs more a smile than the one that cannot smile to others.

~~~

Nathan is talking to his lawyer. “Here’s the deal, Abe. If you’re absolutely sure I’ll win the case, I’ll give you the business.”

“OK,” replies Abe, “but before I can give you my opinion, I obviously need to know the facts.”

So Nathan goes into great detail about his failed partnership and ends up saying, “So now you’ve heard everything, do you think I can sue my partner and get my money back?”

“Well,” replies Abe, “from what I’ve just heard, it’s clear to me that you will win. It’s rare to have such an open-and-shut case.”

Nathan goes very white when he hears this.

“What’s the matter?” asks Abe.

“I told you my partner’s side of the case,” replies Nathan.

~~~

Is it my imagination, or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken?

~~~

A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids….”

~~~

I’ve started a new exercise program.  Immediately after waking in the morning, I always say sternly to myself, “Ready?  Now.  Up.  Down.  Up. Down!”  And after two strenuous minutes I tell myself, “Okay, now try the other eyelid!”

~~~

Speak when you’re angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

Lawrence J. Peter

~~~

He said:

The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television. The harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of her return.

I was trying to keep my kids from becoming restless when suddenly shouts of victory came from the bar.

“Hey,” commented my 11-year-old, “it sounds as if someone just got his food.”

~~~

“Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.”

Robert Orben

~~~

After reading an ad offering split, dry firewood for $60 a cord, including delivery, Ernie phoned in an order. During the drop-off, though, Ernie became upset. “That’s not a full cord of wood,” he objected.

“That’s what I call a cord,” the man answered firmly.

Grudgingly, Ernie fished around in his pocket and thrust some bills into the man’s hands.

“Hey, wait a minute,” the woodsman complained after counting the money.

“You only gave me $30.”

With a shrug of the shoulders, Ernie replied, “That’s what I call $60.”

~~~

“The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers”

Deepak Chopra

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Live a Good Life

Ray’s Daily

February 21, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

I’m excited about what the future will bring, and I think the best is yet to come.

Alonzo Mourning

Here we go again, another new week. I was pretty fatigued last week and canceled some of my activities. I plan on getting back into the fray this week. I am scheduled to participate in a number of events I know I will like. I do have a doctors appointment early tomorrow to check a few things and then on to a good week. I hope you enjoy the days ahead like I plan to.

In case you have spent time recently in the doldrums here is what Marc Chernoff offers to bring excitement back into our lives.

10 Little Things to Remember When Life No Longer Excites You

  1. A big part of your life is a result of the choices you make. And if you don’t like your life – if it completely lacks excitement and passion – it’s time to start making changes and better choices.
  2. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. You CAN follow a path that moves you. You are always free to do something small and positive that makes you happy.
  3. There is good reason why you should wake each morning and mindfully consider what and who you will give your day to. Because unlike other things in life – money, entertainment, obligations, etc. – time is the one thing you can never get back once it’s gone.
  4. It’s not what you say, but how you spend your time. If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
  5. Your passion is an inherent part of you. Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. Nothing you have that much passion for is ever a waste of time, no matter how it turns out in the long run.
  6. When you focus your heart and mind upon a meaningful purpose, and commit yourself to fulfill that purpose a little bit every day, positive energy gradually floods into your life.
  7. We have to stop telling ourselves that other people are our reason for being unhappy, unfulfilled, etc. They aren’t in the long run.
  8. The more we fill our lives with genuine passion and purpose the less time and energy we’ll waste looking for approval and admiration from everyone else.
  9. Your body may eventually grow tired, you may lie awake some nights listening to your past regrets, you may miss your only love, you may see the world around you overcome by negativity, or know your respect has been trampled on by unfriendly faces. There is only one thing for healing that works every time – to rediscover what excites you and then dive deeper into it. That’s the only positive effort that a battered mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or doubt, and never dream of regretting.
  10. Just one small step today. That’s all. True purpose has no time limit. True passion has no deadline. Don’t stress and overwhelm yourself. Just do what you can right now – just the next smallest step on a meaningful path.

~~~

Life is meant to be joyful, fun, adventurous, meaningful and exciting. Having people you cherish come along for the ride is truly a blessing. Cultivating and maintaining these meaningful relationships is such an important part of life.

Anil Sinha

~~~

A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the workers on the night shift ,and so every morning when the night shift workers passed through his gate it was his job to check their bags and pockets to make sure that nothing was being stolen. Things were going along very well the first night on the job until a man pushing a wheelbarrow of newspaper came through his gate. Aha, he thought, that man thinks he can cover up what he is stealing with that newspaper. So he removed the paper only to find nothing. Still he felt that the man was acting strangely, so he questioned him about the paper. “I get a little extra money from newspapers I recycle, so I go into the lunchroom and pick up all the ones people have thrown away.” The guard let him pass, but decided to keep a close eye on him.

The next night it was the same, and the night after that. Week after week it went on. The same guy would push the wheelbarrow of newspapers past the guard’s checkpoint. The guard would always check and find nothing. Then one night, about a year later, the guard reported for work only to find a message had been left for him telling him to report to his supervisor. He walked into the supervisor’s office and before he could say a word, the boss said, “You’re fired!” –Fired?– he asked in total surprise. –Why? What did I do?”

“It was your job to make sure that no one stole anything from this plant and you have failed. So you’re fired.”

“Wait a minute, what do you mean failed. Nobody ever stole anything from this place while I was on guard.”

“Oh, really,” the boss answered. “Then how do you account for the fact that there are 365 wheelbarrows missing?”

~~~

I accidently listened to my motivation tapes backwards and became a failure.

~~~

“How do I know that my youth’s all spent?

Well, my get up and go has got up and went.

But in spite of it all, I’m able to grin

When I recall where my get up has been.

Old age is golden, so I’ve heard it said,

But sometimes I wonder, when I get into bed.

My years in a drawer and teeth in a cup,

My eyes on the table until I wake up.

The sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself —

‘Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?’

And I am happy to say as I close my door,

My friends are the same, perhaps even more.

When I was young, my slippers were red,

I could kick of my heels right over my head,

When I grew older my slippers were blue,

But still I could dance the whole night through.

Now I am old, my slippers are black.

I walked to the store and puff my way back;

The reason I know my youth is all spent,

My get up and go has got up and went.

But I really don’t mind, when I think with a grin

Of all the grand places my get up has been.

Since I have retired from life’s competition,

I busy myself with complete repetition.

I get up each morning, dust off my wits,

Pick up my paper, and read the “Obits,”

If my name is missing, I know I’m not dead.

So I eat a good breakfast, and go back to bed.”

~~~

If you are doing your best, you will not have time to worry about failure.

Robert Hillyer

~~~

The slave driver of the Roman ship stared down at his slaves and yelled. “I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that you’ll be getting double rations tonight.”

The mumbling of the happy slaves was interrupted by the bellowing of the slave driver. “The bad news is that the commander’s son wants to water ski.”

~~~

You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.

~~~

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs. She nudged me and whispered, “Wake up, wake up!”

“What’s the matter”? I asked.

“There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they’re eating the tuna casserole I made tonight.”

“That’ll teach them!” I replied.

~~~

Attitude and enthusiasm play a big part in my life.

I get excited about the things that inspire me. I also believe in laughing and having a good time.

Dwayne Johnson

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Believe in Yourself

Ray’s Daily

February 18, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.”

Paul Tournier

Over the years I have often been surprised by what I was able to accomplish. During my tour of duty in the Navy I was trained to handle duties that I never believed I could do. It was the same during my long career in the computer industry and with my Kiwanis International role. I think much of my successes was because others had faith in what I could do and I seldom said no. What I learned was that I could do much more than I would have done without my taking advantage of the opportunities I was given,

We must not let our fears hold us back for if we do we will miss too many of the good things available to us. Here is an article on how we can boost our selfconfidence.

Choosing Confidence

Carefully examining a display in the drugstore, a man asked the pharmacist, ‘Do you really guarantee this hair-restorer?’

The pharmacist responded, ‘Better than that, sir. We give a comb with every bottle.’

Wouldn’t you love to have that kind of confidence?

One man quipped, ‘When it comes to believing in myself, I’m an agnostic.’

One of the greatest problems many people experience is lack of confidence. Some don’t believe in their ability to speak in public, others are afraid to try something they’ve never done before, and still others do not have the confidence to overcome their shyness.

Do you know that you can become more confident? One effective technique is to learn to do what you’re afraid to do.

I led a seminar a few years ago where I asked for three volunteers to speak to the group the next day. One young woman named Judy was the first to raise her hand. She explained to me later why she did so: ‘When you asked for three volunteers,’ Judy said, ‘I felt a knot of fear in my stomach. I’ve never done anything like this before and I’ve never really believed I could. But the fear was telling me something,’ she continued. ‘So because I felt so anxious, I decided that this was something I had to do. But I must to tell you, I’m terrified!’

She made up her mind to do that which she was afraid to do. And the following day, Judy’s five-minute talk was superb! She was honest and genuine, speaking right from her heart. Now she is more confident about her ability to speak in public.

People who are confident have choices. People who are fearful too often avoid much of life because they are afraid to venture into unknown territory.

Jim Loehr said, ‘With confidence, you can reach truly amazing heights; without confidence, even the simplest accomplishments are beyond your grasp.’

When you make what you’re afraid to do what you choose to do, you will soon have the confidence to do whatever you choose!

Written by Steve Goodier

~~~

Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks in great and honorable courses with a sure hope and trust in itself.

Cicero

~~~

John went to the doctor because he had bulging eyes and a persistent ringing in his ears. The doctor looked him over and suggested removing his tonsils.

The tonsillectomy resulted in no improvement, so John consulted a dentist who suggested that removing his teeth might eliminate the problem. All of John’s teeth were extracted but still his eyes bulged out and the annoying ringing in his ears continued.

A third doctor told him bluntly, “You have six months to live.”

Feeling doomed and gloomy, John decided to treat himself right while he still had time, so he bought a flashy car, hired a chauffeur and a gardener, and got himself measured by a tailor for some new suits. To go along with the new suits, he decided that even his shirts would be made to order.

“Okay,” said the shirt maker, “let’s get your measurements. Hmm, thirty-four sleeve, sixteen collar.”

“No, I wear a fifteen collar” John told him.

“Sixteen collar,” the shirt maker repeated, measuring again.

“But I’ve always worn a fifteen collar,” said John.

“Listen,” said the shirt maker, “I’m telling you right now—if you keep on wearing a tight fifteen collar, your eyes will bulge out and you’ll have ringing in your ears.”

~~~

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”

Lily Tomlin

~~~

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

“How did that happen?,” gasped her mother.

“It wasn’t easy,” admitted the young lady, “but 3 girls helped me catch him.”

~~~

Q. What’s a Jewish girl’s idea of natural childbirth?

A. Absolutely no make up.

~~~

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes.

He replied, “It’s easy!” and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top.

He told his boss, “I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers.” He laid out his chips and dip.

“That’s a very innovative approach,” his boss said, as he took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. “Yuck, this tastes terrible!”

The salesman replied “IT IS? Want to buy a toothbrush?”

~~~

Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

~~~

One day, an young girl is walking through a park when she hears a faint “Help me, help me”.

She looks around and follows the quiet voice to a bush near the path. Looking under the bush she spies a little green frog trapped under a log. The girl moves the log and picks up the frog.

“Oh, thank you, thank you” says the frog, “Take me home and put me on your pillow and in the morning I’ll be a handsome Prince.”

So the girl takes the frog home and puts him on the pillow and there in the morning is a handsome prince.

You don’t believe that?

Neither did her mother!

~~~

The strongest and sweetest song remains to be sung.

Walt Whitman

~~~

A census taker in rural West Texas went up to a farmhouse and knocked. A woman came to the door, and he proceeded to ask her how many children she had, and their ages.

She said, “Well, lez’ juz’ see now, there’s the twins Sally and Billy, they’re thirty-two, the twins Seth and Beth, they’re twenty-six, and the twins Penny and Jenny, they’re twenty-four … “

“Hold on!” said the census taker, “Did you get twins EVERY time?”

The woman answered, ” Why heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn’t get nothin!”

~~~

Confidence… thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Don’t Get Mad

Ray’s Daily

February 17, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don’t know about you but I don’t like myself when I get angry. In fact I have learned that I am better off staying calm. I don’t want to be like those who explode mostly over things that are not that important. If I respond in kind I am behaving like the out of control person who is acting badly. Uncontrolled anger is just not worth it.

Here are Angel Chernoff’s thoughts on how we can avoid letting others upset us.

10 Things to Remember Before You Take Things Personally

NOT taking things personally is a skill to be honed.

To help you practice, I recommend storing the following reminders in an easily accessible location, and then reading (and re-reading) them whenever you catch yourself taking things personally.

  1. Calmness is a superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace.
  2. Even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of them.
  3. You may not be able control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
  4. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you detach from other people’s beliefs and behaviors. The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours.
  5. Oftentimes people do things and say things because they’ve been conditioned to, not because they consciously want to.
  6. You can’t control how people receive your energy. Whatever someone interprets, or projects onto you, is at least partially an issue or problem that they themselves are dealing with.
  7. Take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally. Weigh what you hear from others against what you know in your heart to be true.
  8. If you’re willing to view the behavior of other people as indicative of their relationship with themselves, then you will inevitably take things less personally.
  9. If you truly wish to improve your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth, stop allowing other people to be responsible for them. Stop allowing other people to dominate your emotions.
  10. All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as a baby. And that’s the tragedy of living. So when people are rude, be kind, be mindful, be your best. Give those around you the “break” that you hope the world will give you on your own “bad day” and you will never, ever regret it.

~~~

No other emotion plays such a disruptive role in our lives as anger. While angry, our reasoning, which is necessary for thoughtful decision-making, is impaired.

Carl Semmelroth; Donald Smith,

~~~

When I Was Growing Up We Were So Poor That We Could Only Afford…

Medicines called placebos

Five of the Ten Commandments

Bagel holes

Sunrise Or Sunset

Webster’s Extremely Abridged Dictionary

White Crayolas

Ivory soap soup mix

Blue suede shoe boxes

Lipton Tea Bag strings

~~~

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.

Aldous Huxley

~~~

– Hello, that’s you, Abe?

– Yes, dis is Abe…

– It doesn’t sount like Abe

– Vell, dis is Abe all right.

– You’re positive it’s Abe?

– Absolutely.

– Vell, listen Abie, dis is Moe. Can you lend me fifty dollars?

– Ven Abe comes in, I’ll tell him you called…

~~~

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

~~~

A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim.

“It takes considerable time and technique.” replied the guard. “First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly…”

“This is certainly most helpful.” said the member. “I know that my sister will appreciate it.”

“Your sister?” said the lifeguard. “In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She’ll learn in a hurry.”

~~~

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

~~~

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly.  Another flash.  He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed.  Same result.

“This guy must have screwed up the settings,” the off-duty officer thought.

A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt!

~~~

You pretend to work, and we’ll pretend to pay you.

~~~

I know I’m not going to understand women. I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

~~~

What’s right is right, no matter how few people do it.

What’s wrong is wrong, no matter how many people do it.

Unknown

~~~

His son is a “high-energy” kid who never sits still and is always on the move.

He was surprised when his wife suggested that they buy him a bike for his birthday.

“Do you really believe that’ll help improve his behavior ?” he asked.

“Well, no,” she admitted, “But it’ll spread it over a wider area.”

~~~

If people find fault with you and try to put you into bad light, wrongly slandering and vilifying you, just step back and observe yourself. Don’t harbor any dislike, don’t enter into any contests, and don’t get upset, angry, or resentful.

Zen Master Yuanwu

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Yes They Do

Ray’s Daily

February 16, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Helen Keller

The words we speak are not as significant as what we do. The folks I respect the most are those whose behaviors have a positive impact on others.

Too many of us forget that we are role models for others, this is especially true for those of us with children and grandchildren. In their eyes what we do is of greater importance than what we say. Here is an offering that says it all.

When you thought I wasn’t looking

A message every adult should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favourite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don’t.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn’t feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I learned most of life’s lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, ‘Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.’

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher or friend) influence the life of a child. How will you touch the life of someone today?

Written by Mary Rita Schilke Korzan

~~~

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather.

Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old; it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother.

Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love.  

Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting.  

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string – handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren.  

Grandmothers are just antique little girls.  

It’s amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one.  

A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside.  

Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies.  

Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever.  

~~~

A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.

~~~

The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to whisper, “Darling am I the first man to make love to you?”

Her tone upon answering was slightly more than irritable. “Of course you are!” she said. “And the best too.”

~~~

You have to be careful about being too careful.

Beryl Pfizer

~~~

The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said, “What are your golf clubs doing here?”

He looked her right in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?”

~~~

It is terrible to grow old alone – my wife has not had a birthday in ten years.

~~~

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on “Science & Nature.” Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”  

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”  

~~~

He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.

Japanese proverb

~~~

It was Friday and Lewis and I were headed out to lunch.

“Hey, do you have change for a hundred dollar bill”? I asked as we drove to the restaurant.

“I think I do,” he said pulling a wad of bills out of his pocket. “Here,” he said handing me five twenties.

“Great, thanks,” I said pocketing the money. “I’ll give you the hundred on Monday.”

~~~

You can’t be afraid of stepping on toes if you want to go dancing.

Lewis Freedman

~~~

There are three reasons for being a conservationist.

You will help prevent the destruction of the world as you know it.

You will save hundreds of endangered species from extermination. 

And

You will finally have a reason NOT to buy your wife a fur coat.

~~~

She said: Now that I’ve remarried, I’ve discovered my first husband was not the dumbest man in the world after all.

~~~

This could happen to you: I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other bathroom stall saying, “Hi, how are you?” I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom, but I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, “Doin’ just fine!”

And the other person said, “So, what are you up to?” What kind of question is that? At this point, I was thinking this was too bizarre, so I said, “Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!”

At this point I was just trying to get out as fast as I could, when I heard another question. “Can I come over?” Okay, this question was just too weird for me, but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I told the person, “No… I’m a little busy right now!!!”

Then I heard the person say nervously, “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!”

~~~

“I made a resolve then that I was going to amount to something if I could. And no hours, nor amount of labor, nor amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me.”

Harland Sanders

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Happy Retirement

Ray’s Daily

February 15, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Retired is being twice tired, I’ve thought

First tired of working,

Then tired of not.

Richard Armour

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published on February 15, 2006

I have been provided the opportunity to participate in the development of a program to help seniors and those who will become seniors see the choices they can make that will enhance their golden years. Unfortunately there are too many of us who spend our working lives fantasizing about the day when we will retire and be totally free only to find that is is not all we thought it would be. Many of us immediately clean up everything on our things to do list, jump into a hobby or two, order all the magazines that we never had time to read in the past, travel until all we have left is to return home and wonder what happened to the life we dreamed about.

Sadly we find that that all the things we know and have done do not provide the rewards we thought they would. We miss the friends we made in our working life, and we find we miss the structure that allowed us to differentiate between the workweek and the weekend. It is when this happens we make choices that lead us to either stagnation or rejuvenation, a life on the couch or the adventure that awaits us if we step out into a world we never knew. Some of us get a part time job, learn to dance or paint, volunteer, and see the world. Others renew old friendships, spend time at the theatre, and see the sights around them that they have so often overlooked in the past. The options are almost unlimited.

Way too many of our generation excuse themselves from living a fuller life by saying they are too tired or too old to try anything new. I suspect if the truth be known they are not as much tired as they are bored and that their age is just an easy excuse for inaction. If that is what they want, fine, but they need to know that it was their choice and there really is no one to blame for the life they live but themselves.

Some of the most alive and adventurous people I have met need a walker to get from here to there; they have learned that the barriers are only the limits we place upon ourselves. Even the bedridden read, write, imagine, and chose to make the best of life instead of life besting them.

I am hoping that my friends proposed programs will provide people like us the opportunity to open our minds and discover the possible; a life as good or better than the one we left behind.

If you chose to remain on the dock, I’ll see you; I still have heels to kick up and more things to do than I ever thought possible.

~~~

Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to.

Harry Emerson Fosdick

~~~

An English teacher asked her 8th grade class to write an essay on what they would do if they had a million dollars. Morris handed in a blank sheet of paper.

“Morris!” yelled the teacher, “you’ve done absolutely nothing.  Why?”

“Because if I had a million dollars, that’s exactly what I would do!”

~~~

“Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable than risk being happy.”

Robert Anthony

~~~

Bambi, a young blonde sidled up to a guest at the party.  She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said diffidently, “doctor, may I ask a question?”

“Certainly,” he said.

“Lately,” said Bambi, “I have been having a funny pain right here under the heart…”

The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, “I’m terribly sorry, Bambi, but the truth is, I’m a doctor of philosophy.”

“Oh,” said the blonde, “I’m sorry!”  She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. “Just one more question, doctor.  Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?”

~~~

“I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it.”

Mary Chase

~~~

Renee was passing an office building late one night and saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman.”

She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The uniformed men proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.

“Well,” he snarled at her, “what do you want?”

“I just wanted to know why you can’t ring the bell yourself?”

~~~

“There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it ill behooves any of us to find fault with the rest of us.”

James Truslow Adams

~~~

Are You A Golf Nut? Here are 20 ways to tell:

  1. Your idea of a good time is staying home and watching the British Open on a Saturday night.

  2. You curse the game only to play it the next day.

  3. You haven’t puked from seeing the same faces regularly for four and half hours.

  4. You see your drive ahead of everyone else and talk about it for a week.

  5. You secretly wish evil on your flightmates.

  6. A golf store has a magnetic effect on your walk.

  7. You cringe when your better half asks you if you have anything to do on Sunday.

  8. Your golf attire becomes your everyday wear.

  9. Your toilet seat gets covered with a stack of golf books and magazines.

10. You make small practice swings inside the church while hearing mass.

11. You get burned by the sun and you’re proud of it.

12. You can open a video store with the number of golf tapes you own.

13. Ten inches of rain has no effect on your decision to play.

14. When your caddy says he sees lightning, your reply is “what lightning?”

15. You go to the practice range and tries to give golf tips to the person on the next stall.

16. Your bumper sticker reads: MY OTHER CAR IS A GOLF CART.

17. People in your family gets their supply of suntan lotion from you when they go swimming.

18. A day at the beach means you hit too many sand traps.

19. Your spouse complains because you try to bring your clubs to bed, (to keep them warm, dry, and safe, of course) demanding that you choose between them and the clubs….And you hesitate before answering.

20. You took the time to read this.

~~~

“I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”

Johnny Carson

~~~

“So, what’s the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband.”

“Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon.

“All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching the most fish!”

~~~

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.”

“And why not, darling?”

“You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.”  

~~~

“We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love.

It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.”

Maugham

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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