Ray's musings and humor

Archive for January, 2016

We can’t let it get us down

Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison.

Philip Stanhope

! 0000 sadness

January has not been that much fun as I have had a couple of old friends and a favorite family member pass away. If that was not enough I also have a couple of friends who are critically ill. My wife and my medical issues pale by comparison but have left us less mobile than normal. It is not always easy to stay upbeat when those you care about those have reached the end of life’s journey but it does little good to let grief take you down.

With all the losses I thought an article from the Positively Present blog just received was timely and helpful. Here are some of the suggestions it offers. You might want to save them in your mental medicine cabinet to use if tragedy strikes.

Feeling sad? Try these quick pick-me-ups!

Whether you’re going through a sad situation (a loss, a break-up, etc.) or you’re just having a bit of a down day, these are some of the best ways I’ve found to feel a little happier when I’m feeling low. If you have any other tips or tricks you use when you’re feeling sad, I’d love to hear them in the comments section below!

WRITE YOURSELF A LOVE LETTER

Self-love is a great place to start when you’re having a down day. Take a few minutes to write up a letter to yourself about all of the reasons you’re awesome. This might sound like vanity or excessive self-pride, but it’s actually really helpful when you’re feeling sad. It shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right. (If you find it too hard to write a love letter to yourself, give a gratitude list a try. Gratitude is a great way to focus on happiness!)

TAKE A NAP

While I’m not a big nap-taker personally, I know there’s a lot of science that says a well-timed nap can make you feel a lot better (particularly if you’re sleep-deprived, something that can happen when your feeling sad or stressed). Even if you don’t love naps, give yourself time to rest and relax. Sadness —  even just a little dip in your mood — can be exhausting, and you deserve a nice little rest. When you’re sad, give yourself permission to take time for rest.

TREAT YOUR SELF

Inspired by this episode of Parks & Recreation, one thing you can try when you’re feeling bad is give yourself a little treat. Go grab a favorite scoop of ice cream, order a pizza, schedule a spa day, buy yourself a new book — whatever it is you love, treat yourself to it! Of course, sadness can’t be bought (or eaten…) away, but I’ve found that it’s really nice to have a little treat when I’m feeling sad.

CALL A FRIEND

One of the absolute best ways to cheer yourself up when you’re sad is calling a good (and positive!) friend. You know that person who always knows how to find the good in a situation? Or the one that makes you feel like a rockstar when you’re down? Call him or her up for a chat — and a mood boost. Another great option is to create a connection with someone positive. Check out the Happiness Amplification Project to learn more about increasing happiness. 

TAKE A WALK

Another way to break the rumination cycle is to go for a walk. Take a turn around the block, visit a local park, or go for a power-walk at your local mall. It doesn’t matter where you walk — just get out of where you’ve been feeling sad and experience a new environment (with a little light exercise thrown in!). Add a soundtrack if you like (like my Relaxing Walk playlist) to keep excessive rumination at bay.

READ A GOOD BOOK

Nothing feels quite as wonderful as good book (at least, if you’re a book nerd like me!). A really captivating book can take your mind away from your sadness and allow you to focus on a story that’s far away from wherever you are. Choose a genre that really appeals to you and set aside some quite, alone time to spend turning pages and becoming absorbed in someone else’s words. You can check out what I’m reading on GoodReads (and check out my book here!).

LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE

The absolute best thing you can do for yourself when you’re sad is focusing on the big picture. Whatever’s causing your sadness might feel overwhelming and all-encompassing at the moment, but it will get easier to cope with in time. In most cases, what’s got you down today won’t matter in a year — or even in a month. And even if it will, the pain will lessen as time goes on. Also, I’ve found it helpful to look up at the stars and realize just how small I am in this crazily huge universe. It helps, I promise.

Like it or not, sadness is part of life. We all have our down days. We all have the moments that break our hearts, the times when we just feel like crying. But there are lots of little things you can do to help yourself cope with sadness. The tips I’ve listed above are useful for bouts of heartache or a bit of post-holiday blues. If you think you might be suffering from serious sadness or depression, please reach out to a loved one or a therapist and seek help. We can be happy every moment of our lives, but we all deserve as much happiness as possible. If you’re just feeling a little down, hang in there. You’re not alone — and it will get easier!

~~~

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.

Walter Anderson

~~~

The child comes home from his first day at school.

His mother asks, “Well, what did you learn today?”

The kid replies, “Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow.”

~~~

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.

~~~

A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing when his approach speed was just a little too fast.

San Jose Tower:  “American 751 heavy, turn right at the end, if able.  If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport.

~~~

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

~~~

He went to United Airlines and asked for a reservation from Los Angeles to New York. The clerk knew that the plane was very full with baggage and passengers.

“How much do you weigh, Sir?” asked the clerk.

“With or without clothes?” the passenger asked.

“Well,” said the clerk, “how do you intend to travel?”

~~~

Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your children.

~~~

A young man decided to join the police force. As a recruit he was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”

He answered, “Call for backup.”

~~~

“We are not retreating – we are advancing in another direction.”

General Douglas MacArthur

~~~

Jack and Jill were watching a TV show one night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he was “cheating” on her.

Jack asked, “Would you ever do that?”

Jill said, “Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you.”

~~~

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.

Carl Jung

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I left my regrets behind

I’m living with every step. I can’t live with regret. The past is the past. I’m not worried about it. I can’t change it. I can’t fix it. It is what it is. I’m just living.

Ryan Sheckler

! 0000 no regrets

I am at the age where I spend some of my time revisiting the past where fond memories are stored. I have few regrets maybe some due to failing memories but I think mostly because they are masked by so many positive experiences. I honestly believe that I have had and continue to have a great life. Some of that is due to the fact so many of you are still in it and of course I benefit from having such a warm and supporting family.

My advice to you is to learn from your mistakes, as I have, but bury your regrets so that you can concentrate on living a life you will enjoy. Here is a story I am sure I shared with you before but I think is worth repeating.

Regret City

I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. This is my annual “Guilt Trip.”

I got tickets to fly there on “WISH-I-HAD” airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my “baggage,” which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was loaded down with a thousand memories of “what might have been.” No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town.

As I checked into the “Last Resort” Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year’s most important event — the annual “Pity Party.” I wasn’t going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there.

First, there would be the “Done” family; you know, “Should Have,” “Would Have” and “Could Have.” Then came the “I Had” family. You probably know old “Wish” and his clan. Of course, the “Opportunities” family; “Missed and Lost,” would be present. The biggest family there would be the “Yesterday’s.”

There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share. Of course, “Shattered Dreams” would surely make and appearance. “It’s Their Fault” family would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in their life. Each story would be loudly applauded by the “Don’t Blame Me” and “I Couldn’t Help It” committee.

To make a long story short, I went to this depressing party, knowing full well there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that this trip and subsequent “pity parties” COULD be cancelled by ME!

I started to realize that I did not have to be there. And I didn’t have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN’T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as being encouraging.

Knowing this, I left Regret City immediately, and didn’t leave a forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I’ve made in the past? YES! But there is no way to undo them.

So, if you’re planning a trip back to Regret City, please cancel all those reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a nice place called: “Starting Again.” I like it so much that I made it my permanent residence. My neighbors, the “Been Forgiven” and the “We’re Saved” are so very helpful. By the way, you don’t have to carry around the heavy baggage anymore either. That load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. But don’t take my word for it, find out for yourself.

Author Unknown

~~~

At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.

Barbara Bush

~~~

One Sunday a teenager was in church. When the collection plate was passed around, he pulled a dollar bill from his pocket and dropped it in.

Just at that moment the person behind him tapped him on his shoulder and handed him a $20.00 bill. Secretly admiring the man’s generosity, the boy placed the $20.00 in the plate and passed it on. Then the boy felt another tap from behind and heard a whisper:

“Son that was your $20.00 bill that fell out of your own pocket.

~~~

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

~~~

A wife reading the newspaper to her husband said, “There’s a classified ad in here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.”

“Hmmm.”

“Would you swap me for a season ticket?”

“Absolutely not.”

“How sweet!”

“Season’s more than half over.”

~~~

The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.

Edward Gibbon

~~~

A young man is playing golf with a priest. At a short hole the priest asks, “What are you going to use on this hole son?”

The young man says, “An eight iron, father. How about you?”

The priest says, “I’m going to hit a soft seven and pray.”

The young man hits his eight iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7 iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.

The young man says, “I don’t know about you father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down.”

~~~

If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.

~~~

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

“All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards.”

~~~

I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I’d just been myself.

Brittany Renée

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Enough winter for awhile

No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.

Hal Borland

! 0000 winter

Winter still has a long way to go but many of us living in the northern climes have already had enough. When I was younger I found it easy to enjoy winter, especially when there was snow providing a white blanket over the land. I didn’t even mind driving in the snow too much. I just don’t remember the temperature chilling my bones as it does now, nor do I remember the roads being as difficult to navigate.

As you know I prefer to look at the bright side, I still do even on the most blustery days as long as I can watch from a warm room in my house. As much as I try I can’t think warm when my body is being battered by sub-zero wind chills. So I may buy a small palm tree, close the blinds, raise the temperature and play island music while awaiting warmer weather.

Now that that is out of my system here is a more practical solution offered by author Debbie Mandel.

How to Brighten the Winter Blahs

Here are 10 tips to help you change your perception of winter and bring warmth and light into a chilly life:

  • Raise the blinds and let the light shine in. Sit by the window look out and gaze, or read. Feel the warmth.
  • Try eating more hot soups and stews. Add beans and lentils to your diet. These hearty meals are both comforting and nourishing.
  • Go outside to reset your biological clock. Let natural sunlight counteract SAD. Appreciate the winter landscape: the “tree architecture” that we never notice when the leaves are flourishing, or the feathery ornamental grasses swaying in the wind.
  • Exercise to stimulate and bring warmth to your body. Many of us are bored with treadmills and Stairmasters that go nowhere. Change up your routine. Dress warmly and go for a brisk fitness walk. Try some new classes in Pilates, Yoga, Belly Dancing, Salsa and Weight Training. Join a league to participate in fun team sports. Get a buddy to exercise with or make friends in fitness centers.
  • Connect with sunny people. Do volunteer work. We tend to get isolated in the winter and keep to our igloos. Get out and see positive people who appreciate you and if you can’t get out, use the phone or email.
  • Bring tropical plants into the house. Their gracious leaves and greenery will lift your spirits and give you a taste of eternal summer.
  • Look at the color orange which is cheering. No need to repaint your home; just put something orange on the desk or your coffee table.
  • Try a warm glowing candle light meditation. Light a candle in the evening and stare at the flame for about 30 seconds to a minute. Then close your eyes and breathe to your own natural rhythm and see what comes up for you in meditation.
  • Give yourself an auto-massage. Warm some inexpensive olive oil in the microwave and massage your body from head to toe. Long strokes for the limbs, circular strokes for the torso. Make sure to massage the temples, and using your thumbs, do windshield wiper movements under and over your eyes. Feel the warmth pervade your body.
  • Simplify your home, room by room. Clean out the clutter and donate what you have not used in years. In winter we tend to contract and go inward. Use this indoors time to organize your home. Sharing with the needy will give you an inner glow.

~~~

Winter is a season of recovery and preparation.

Paul Theroux

~~~

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:

Better to be safe than….punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the….bug is close.

You can lead a horse to water but….how?

Don’t bite the hand that….looks dirty.

No news is….impossible.

A miss is as good as a….Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog….math.

If you lie down with dogs, you….will stink in the morning.

The pen is mightier than….the pigs.

An idle mind is….the best way to relax.

Where there is smoke, there’s….pollution.

Happy is the bride who….gets all the presents.

A penny saved is….not much.

Two is company, three’s….The Musketeers.

Children should be seen and not….spanked or grounded.

If at first you don’t succeed….get new batteries.

You get out of something what you….see pictured on the box.

When the blind lead the blind….get out of the way.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and….you have to blow your nose.

~~~

“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”

Douglas Adams

~~~

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on “Science & Nature.” Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

~~~

Why do people say they “worked like a dog”?  Our dog just sat around all day.

~~~

As the passengers settled in on a West Coast commuter flight a flight attendant announced, “We’d like you folks to help us welcome our new co-pilot.  He’ll be performing his first commercial landing for us today, so be sure to give him a big round of applause when we come to a stop.”

The plane made an extremely bumpy landing, bouncing hard two or three times before taxiing to a stop.  Still, the passengers applauded.  Then the attendant’s voice came over the intercom, “Thanks for flying with us. And don’t forget to let our co-pilot know which landing you liked best.”

~~~

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

~~~

The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she’d died and gone to heaven when she reached my very polite and patient son on the phone.  At the end of her long sales pitch, she asked, “Do you mind if we send out someone to give you an estimate?”

“Not at all,” my son said.

“When would be a good time?” she asked.

My son answered, “Just as soon as I dig a basement.”

~~~

When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you’re in a public restroom.

~~~

Two blondes were filling up at a gas station one day, when one blonde says to the other, “I bet these awful gas prices are going to go even higher.”

“Won’t bother me,” replies the second blonde, “I always just get $10 worth.”

~~~

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”

Anne Bradstreet

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Wonderful gifts from our children

I’m most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don’t have that, you really don’t have very much.

Bob Newhart

! 0000 grandchildren

I was thinking yesterday as I learned of another success of one of my grandchildren how much I appreciate the great gifts my three children gave to my wife and me, their children. Our grandchildren are not kids anymore, four are in college and three are making their way in the world. All are doing well but best of all they are nice people, who care for each other in a way that I have not seen too often in other families.

They give my wife and me joy going out of their way to stay in touch and wish us well. They even help us with chores that we find difficult to do these days. I think of them as friends and not just family. If Nancy and I had to choose what has been the greatest result of our more than sixty years of marriage it would have to be our children and the children they have raised.

Here are excerpts from something I picked up recently that I appreciate, I thought you might as well.

Letter to My Grandchildren

Author Unknown

To my beautiful grandchildren…

Our world is changing so fast and there are many things I wish for you…

I’d really like for you to know about hand-me-down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother or sister.

And it’s all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when they want to crawl under the covers with you because they’re scared, I hope you let them.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother or sister wants to tag along, I hope you’ll let them.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don’t ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won’t be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your grandparents and go fishing with your uncle.

These are just some of the things that I wish for you – tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it’s the only way to appreciate life.

~~~

“A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.”

Unknown

~~~

I don’t know about you, but I find those Out-Of-The-Office eMail Auto-Replies so ordinary and tedious. Here are some alternatives.

  • Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
  • Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
  • You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. Your message is valuable to me.
  • In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert SOB Boss’s home phone number here).
  • The my email server is unable to deliver your message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
  • Please reply to this email so I will know that you got this message saying I am not here.

~~~

Only two percent of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave their house.

Ninety eight percent of men kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife!!

~~~

The Evolution Of Mom

Your Clothes

* 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

* 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

* 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Baby’s Name

* 1st baby: You pore over baby name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.

* 2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

* 3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.

Preparing for the Birth

* 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

* 2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

* 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

Worries

* 1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.

* 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

* 3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Going Out

* 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

* 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

* 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

~~~

She said: “My kids just don’t understand my logic.

They fail to see why they have to go to bed when I’m tired.”

~~~

Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.

Judge: And why is that?

Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn’t interested in my case.

Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant’s motion?

Public Defender: What? I’m sorry, Your Honor. I wasn’t listening.

~~~

That’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, bar none, is having grandchildren and living by them and being part of their lives.

Helen Garner

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I am on my way again

“Life likes to be taken by the lapel and told, “I’m with you kid. Let’s go!”

Maya Angelou

! 0000 affirmation

Here we go, a new day and a new week. The difficulties of last week are behind us and we get to work on making sure the pain and remorse stays in the past. So I will continue in rebuilding mode and enjoy what the week has to offer. In fact my brother and sister-in-law who spend at least half the year on the rivers of Europe and the other half on a boat that they sail out of San Diego are coming for a short visit and that will brighten our families week.

It has been very cold and a little snowy in my home town but compared to the blizzards many of you in the Eastern United States have experienced this past weekend we were in great shape. I am glad that the weather did not interfere with the funeral of a beloved family member or my wife’s brief hospital stay. I am hoping that we both can be out and about some this week enjoying the fact that we can be.

Angel Chernoff sent out a piece last week that helps people like me stay positive, it may help you too. Here is what she wrote:

10 Things We Should Say to Ourselves More Often

Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be exercised to gain strength. It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time. If you haven’t pushed your mind in thousands of little ways over time, of course it’ll crumble on the one day that things get really challenging.

A mind well trained with positive affirmations has the right thoughts queued up and ready for retrieval at a moment’s notice. If you’d like to begin (or enhance) this practice in your own life, here’s a selection of affirmations I often suggest to our coaching/course students, as starting point:

  1. “I cannot control everything that happens to me; I can only control the way I respond to what happens. In my response is my power.”
  2. “I will not get caught up in what could’ve been or should’ve been. I will look instead at the power and possibility of what is, right now.”
  3. “I have to accept whatever comes my way, and the only important thing is that I meet it with the best I have to give.”
  4. “Making mistakes is always better than faking perfections.”
  5. “I will think less about managing my problems and more about managing my mindset. I will keep it positive.”
  6. “A challenge only becomes an obstacle if I bow to it.”
  7. “I will not try to hide from my fears, because I know they are not there to scare me. They are there to let me know that something is worth it.”
  8. “There is a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short. I will invest in the activities that deeply move me.”
  9. “If I don’t have time for what matters, I will stop doing things that don’t.”
  10. “My next step in the right direction doesn’t have to be a big one.”

And of course, if you’re struggling with any of these points, know that you are not alone.  We are all in this together.  Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and keep our lives on track.

~~~

I know what it’s like to feel that fear and the need of affirmation and appreciation. To build confidence in yourself is the toughest thing.

Shakira

~~~

10 reasons Adam was the luckiest man

  1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man she could have married.
  2. He had no in-laws to drop in.
  3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with.
  4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers.
  5. He never had his dinner interrupted by window salesmen.
  6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe.
  7. He never had to shovel snow!
  8. If he had gone bald, who would have known that wasn’t normal.
  9. There was no “standard weight and height” tables – and the word FAT meant good.
  10. When God asked “Adam, where are you?” He replied, “The woman you gave me was reading the map.”

~~~

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Thomas Jefferson

~~~

If you want the world to beat a path to your door, just try taking a nap on a Saturday afternoon.

~~~

A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. “Professionally employed?” he asked.

“We’re a military family,” the wife answered.

“Children?”

“Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve,” she answered proudly.

“Animals?”

“Oh, no,” she said earnestly. “They’re very well behaved.”

~~~

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

Margaret Lee Runbeck

~~~

A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?”

“Objection!” said the defense attorney. “Irrelevant!”

“Oh, that’s okay,” said the blonde from the witness stand. “I don’t mind answering the question.”

“I object!” the defense said again.

“No, really,” said the blonde. “I’ll answer.”

The judge ruled: “If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object.”

So the prosecutor repeated the question: “Where were you the night of August 24th?”

The blonde replied brightly, “I don’t know!”

~~~

What disease did cured ham actually have?

~~~

When I was in the Navy, every so often, you got umpteen shots, whether you needed them or not. The carrier pilot in front of me as we passed through the line asked for a drink of water after receiving what seemed to be at least a dozen different needles. The Corpsman asked if he was dizzy.

“No, not at all.” he replied. “I just wantta see if I’m still water-tight.”

~~~

“Affirmations are our mental vitamins, providing the supplementary positive thoughts we need to balance the barrage of negative events and thoughts we experience daily.”

Tia Walker

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I will miss them

There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.

Aeschylus

! 0000 grieving

This has not been an easy week. An old friend and neighbor passed away, a former colleague from my computer days also died, and I learned that a good friend’s health has taken a turn for the worse. But worst of all was the passing of my oldest daughter’s mother-in-law; she was a special lady, quick to smile even in the worst of times, she was our friend and I am going to miss her.

It didn’t get any better when I had to put my wife in the hospital, fortunately they solved the problem, at least temporally and she is back home. At the same time I was notified that my bank accounts had been hacked and that the bank was able to thwart an attempt to transfer $800 from my account to an unknown account. All the accounts are now closed and new security measures have been taken.

All in all a week I hope that is never repeated. I grieve for the loss of my friends. I am never good at communicating my sorrow when someone I care about passes, words just never seems to be enough.

Here are some thoughts I picked up of the internet for dealing with grief that help; I hope you don’t mind my sharing them with you.

Living with Grief

  • Coping with death is vital to your mental health. It is only natural to experience grief when a loved one dies. The best thing you can do is allow yourself to grieve. There are many ways to cope effectively with your pain.
  • Seek out caring people. Find relatives and friends who can understand your feelings of loss.
  • Express your feelings. Tell others how you are feeling; it will help you to work through the grieving process.
  • Take care of your health. Maintain regular contact with your family physician and be sure to eat well and get plenty of rest. Be aware of the danger of developing a dependence on medication or alcohol to deal with your grief.
  • Accept that life is for the living. It takes effort to begin to live again in the present and not dwell on the past.
  • Be patient. It can take months or even years to absorb a major loss and accept your changed life.
  • Seek outside help when necessary. If your grief seems like it is too much to bear, seek professional assistance to help work through your grief. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to seek help.

Helping Others Grieve

  • If someone you care about has lost a loved one, you can help them through the grieving process.
  • Share the sorrow. Allow them — even encourage them — to talk about their feelings of loss and share memories of the deceased.
  • Don’t offer false comfort. It doesn’t help the grieving person when you say “it was for the best” or “you’ll get over it in time.” Instead, offer a simple expression of sorrow and take time to listen.
  • Offer practical help. Baby-sitting, cooking and running errands are all ways to help someone who is in the midst of grieving.
  • Be patient. Remember that it can take a long time to recover from a major loss. Make yourself available to talk.

~~~

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing… not healing, not curing… that is a friend who cares.

Henri Nouwen

~~~

While we grieve life must go on!

Ray

Heard on the field

  • Our offensive line was so good that even our backs couldn’t get through it.
  • Football is a game of inches, and that’s how some teams move the ball.
  • We play in a dome stadium. We always prefer to kick with the air-conditioning at our backs.
  • Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them.
  • The coach says his favorite play is the one where one of our players pitches the ball back to the official after he has scored a touchdown.
  • We have so many players on the disabled list the team bus can park in a handicapped space.
  • This year I can assure you that we are going to move the ball. I just hope that it’s forward.

~~~

“The real winners in life are the people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better”

Barbara Pletcher

~~~

Two elderly sisters donated $5 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to a football game. Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so.

“I think so, too,” said Mabel. “Let’s go!”

They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse. They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the scoreless first half.

They enjoyed the band music and cheerleader performance that followed. Then came the second half. When the teams lined up for the second-half kickoff, Madge nudged her sister.

“I guess we can go home now, Mabel,” she said. “This is where we came in.”

~~~

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age. ”

Sophia Loren

~~~

My Spell Checker

I halve a spelling checker,

It came with my pea see.

It plainly marks four my revue

Mistakes I dew knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word

And weight four it two say

Weather eye am wrong oar write

It shows me strait aweigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid

It nose bee fore two long

And eye can put the era rite

Its rarely ever wrong.

I’ve scent this massage threw it,

And I’m shore your pleased too no

Its letter prefect in every weigh;

My checker tolled me sew.

~~~

“If I can see pain in your eyes then share with me your tears.

If I can see joy in your eyes then share with me your smile.”

Santosh Kalwar

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Off to the hospital

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well”

Voltaire

! 0000 appreciation

I had to take my wife to the hospital yesterday with heart arrhythmia and did not get home until late last night and I am off early this morning to go back to the hospital. The prognosis is good but I don’t have time for a new Daily so we again revisit the past.

Ray’s Daily first published on January 21, 2009

 I had breakfast with a friend the other day who heads a major arts organization. He, like others with similar responsibilities has the job of leading and motivating a group of artists on the performing side and administrators on the business side. Each group is dependent on the other for the organization to succeed and yet as is so often the case many do not understand or place value on the role of others in the organization. Sadly when we don’t understand or place value on the work of others we have a tendency to fall back on status, seniority, and many times a false sense of superiority. Fortunately my friend has the skill and temperament to make sure everyone is recognized and that their work is valued. In my experience the best way to bring people together is to publicly appreciate what they do so all can see how winning comes from the joint effort of good people.

If you are like I am you find it too easy to take for granted those who perform with competence day after day, people who are always there and who always make our lives just a little bit easier. I need to frequently stop and recommit myself to recognize the things that people do and let them know that I appreciate them. When I do let people know that I value them I find that they respond positively to knowing that I appreciate what they do. Unfortunately I find many, if not more people seem to concentrate on finding fault than on recognizing the good in others.

Here is what personal coach Carolyn B. Ellis suggests we can do to reap the rewards that come from appreciating others:

Appreciation

Appreciation is an underutilized yet hugely valuable ingredient in successful relationships. Wondering how to get into the groove of appreciation? Here are the seven strategies I call the “Appreciation A-B-Cs” to get you off to a great start. Each of these strategies is simple and effective, whether you’re in a relationship or not.

  1. Keep Your Appreciation Simple. — Your verbal statements of appreciation to another don’t have to be fancy or long. Try a simple “I appreciate you for ____…” to get you started.
  2. Speak from Your Heart, not Your Head. — Don’t think too much! Your most effective guide is your heart, not your head. Take a moment to breathe, visualize your heart, and let the words flow from there.
  3. Keep It Up. — Expressing appreciation on a regular basis is more effective than going on a binge one day and then dropping into radio silence for the next two weeks. Set some simple goals like expressing one heart-felt appreciation to your partner each day. Giving and receiving appreciation may feel awkward initially, just like a muscle that hasn’t been called upon for a while. Simply keep up your efforts and soon it’ll become a natural and effortless habit.
  4. Cover All the Bases. — Once you start looking, there are so many things you will realize you appreciate in the people in your life! Look at what they do, how they communicate, how they look, how you relate to each other. Look for things to appreciate and you’ll start to find them.
  5. Don’t Let Just Words Do the Talking. — Appreciation doesn’t always need to be verbal. Play with nonverbal appreciation as well, such as leaving unexpected notes in lunch bags or briefcases, flowers, and other small acts of kindness.
  6. Who to Appreciate. — Loved ones, family, and friends are clear candidates for receiving appreciation. How about your coworkers or employees? Why not expand your horizons to include your hairdresser or the check-out clerk at the grocery store? Appreciate your home, the city you live in, or your health. Expanding your list of whom and what you appreciate will help you to live in an “attitude of gratitude,” which will help you keep centered and open, better able to take on any challenges that might still be in front of you.
  7. Appreciate Yourself. — Do you ever find yourself in need of appreciation? I always encourage my clients to start by appreciating themselves first. It’s amazing what wonders doing 10 written self-appreciations every day can do for your spirit!

~~~

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read.

Mark Twain

~~~

You’ve seen those ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts of contraptions. Well, there’s no need to invest in fancy equipment. If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything you need to get in shape now!!! The following exercises can be done anywhere, anytime.

Inner Thighs: Place the dog’s favorite toy between thighs Press tighter than the dog can pull. Do not attempt bare legged – dogs who favor shortcuts to success will just dig the toy out. You could be damaged.

Upper Body Strength: Lift the dog – off the couch, off the bed, out of the flower bed. Repeat, repeat, repeat. As the dog ages, this exercise is reversed onto the couch, onto the bed, into the car and so on.

Balance and Coordination, Exercise 1: Remove your puppy from unsuitable tight places. If they’re too small for him, they’re certainly too small for you. Do it anyway!

Balance and Coordination, Exercise 2: Practice not falling when your dog bounds across the full length of the room, sails through the air, and slams both front paws into your chest.

Balance and Coordination, Exercise 3: (for use with multiple dogs) Remove all dogs from lap and answer the phone before it stops ringing.

Upper Arms: Throw the ball. Throw the squeaky toy. Throw the Frisbee. Repeat until nauseous.

Upper Arms: (alternate) Tug the rope. Tug the pull toy. Tug the sock. Repeat until your shoulder is dislocated or the dog gives up (we all know which comes first).

Hand Coordination: Remove foreign object from dog’s locked jaw. This exercise is especially popular with puppy owners. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Remember, this is a timed exercise. Movements must be quick and precise (think concert pianist) to prevent trips to the vet, which only offer the minimal exercise benefit of jaw firming clenches.

Calves: After the dog has worn out the rest of your body, hang a circular toy on your ankle and let the dog tug while you tug back. WARNING: This is feasible only for those with strong bones and small dogs.

~~~

If some people said what they thought, they’d be speechless.

~~~

At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

“Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”

Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single!”

~~~

“It is in the shelter of each other that the people live.”

Irish Proverb

~~~

She said:

Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay, I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor. “I’m here to do my postnatal exercises,” I said.

The instructor gave me an appraising look. “How old is your baby?”

“Twenty-six,” I replied.

~~~

“The only reason that I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.”

Erma Bombeck

~~~

To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia game with the passengers. They asked us to guess the total number of years the three of them had worked for the airlines. After an attendant collected our estimates, we heard the announcement: “The correct answer is 26 years. For the two people who came closest with 28 years, we have prizes. And for the passenger in seat 12F who guessed 85 years, would you please step off the plane once we are airborne?”

~~~

“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”

Mother Teresa

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Worry? No Thanks!

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo F. Buscaglia

! 0000 Don't worry

I think I have told you in the past that I have a tendency not to worry until it is too late. I don’t know if it is a result of my procrastination that I put worry off until the elusive tomorrow or an ingrained understanding that most of the things we worry about seldom come to pass. But for whatever reason I’ll take peace of mind any day.

I honestly think that the anxiety over what may happen is often much worse than what does happen. At least those of us who live in the moment know where we are rather than were we might be later in our imagination.

I think Buddha often had the right answer. Here is a story I like that is based on his teachings.

Peace of Mind

Once, Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers. This was in the initial days. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there.”

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that some people were washing clothes in the water and, right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!” So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.”

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake. This time he found that the lake had absolutely clear water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, “See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be … and the mud settled down on its own – and you got clear water… Your mind is also like that. When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.”

~~~

Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the world can give – pleasure, possessions, power – but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy.

Dada Vaswani

~~~

One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Ohio were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.” So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.” The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park…. Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?”

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, the husband replied, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time.”

~~~

I used to be indecisive. Now, I’m not sure.

~~~

A man owned a small farm in Indiana. The Indiana State Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” Demanded the agent.

“Well,” replied the farmer, “there’s my farm hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

“The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.

“Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”

“That’s the guy I want to talk to… the half-wit,” says the agent.

“That would be me,” replied the farmer.

~~~

Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important.

T.S. Elliot

~~~

“Yes, mother, I’ve had a hard day. Jennifer has been most difficult. I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. You were perfectly right. You want to speak with her? All right.”

He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room, “Jennifer, your mother wants to talk to you!”

~~~

The great man is he who does not lose his child’s heart.

Menicus

~~~

I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter, Carrie, suddenly woke up. Seeing the money in my hand, she cried out, “Aha! I caught you!”

I froze and tried to think of an explanation for why I, instead of the tooth fairy, was putting the money under her pillow, but her next words let me off the hook completely.

“You put that money back!” she said indignantly. “The tooth fairy left that for me!”

~~~

Happiness comes through doors you didn’t even know you left open.

~~~

A tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part when the pumpkin turns into a golden coach.

Suddenly, she piped up, “Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classified as income or a long-term capital gain?”

~~~

Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.

Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi

~~~

My broker called me this morning and said, “Remember that stock we bought and I said you’d be able to retire at age 65?”

“Yes, I remember,” I said.

“Well,” my broker continued. “Your retirement age is now 108.”

~~~

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension.”

George F. Burns

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Be You!

Perhaps love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.
Antoine De Saint-Exupery

! 000 be_yourself 2

I hope you are warm where you are, we have been experiencing subzero arctic like weather. Of course one of the side benefits of being homebound lately is like living in the tropics while the world freezes around you. The bad news is that it also results in cabin fever so I use old movies, books and the internet to keep me occupied.
I do try to get to the gym early every morning before my wife wakes and I am working on increasing my activities or at least hope to be soon. In the meantime I wish our world was in less turmoil. If other people were like you we all would be better off.
I was just sent the following that I think has value and should provide hope for us that are all striving to do better:
Allow Your Own Inner Light to Guide You
• There comes a time when you must stand alone.
• You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.
• You must be willing to make sacrifices.
• You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.
• Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.
• There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.
• Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.
• Be confident enough that you won’t settle for a compromise just to get by.
• Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.
• Don’t stand in someone else’s shadow when it’s your sunlight that should lead the way.
• Work hard at what you like to do and try to overcome all obstacles
• Laugh at your mistakes and praise yourself for learning from them
• Pick some flowers and appreciate the beauty of nature
• Say hello to strangers and enjoy the people you know
• Don’t be afraid to show your emotions laughing and crying make you feel better
• Love your friends and family with your entire being they are the most important part of your life
• Feel the calmness on a quiet sunny day
• Find a rainbow and live your world of dreams always remember life is better than it seems

~~~

In spite of unseasonable wind, snow and unexpected weather of all sorts – a gardener still plants. And tends what they have planted … believing that Spring will come.

Mary Anne Radmacher
~~~

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Mexico City. One has a cross in front of him, the other one the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross. A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.
Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite.”
The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the beggar with the cross and said, “Moishe, look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing.”

~~~

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Oprah Winfrey
~~~

The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn’t bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: “Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it.”

~~~
My son complains all the time about headaches. I tell him all the time, “when you get out of bed, it’s feet first!”

Henry Youngman
~~~
The letter, shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by a 96 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my social security check, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, prerecorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:
1. To make an appointment to see me.
2. To query a missing payment.
3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client
(Remember: This was written by a 96 year old woman)

~~~
“Don’t criticize your wife. If she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.”
~~~

Determined to cut the budget, the former governor directed that all government jobs remain unfilled once vacated. There were many complaints, one concerning the retirement of a drawbridge operator. When Personnel refused to fill the position, the highway- division manager called the governor’s office.
“Ask the governor,” he told an aide, “whether he wants the bridge left down so the cars can go over – or up so the ships can go through.”

~~~

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of people willing to do that for you. Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do. Even mistakes mean you’re trying.”
Susan Gale
~~~
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell
Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Tomorrow?

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.

William James

! 0000 Procrastination3

It’s has been somewhat of a challenging weekend. In the old days I lived year to year these days’ time moves so fast that I now live one day at a time. This weekend I had to fulfill a promise of composing a document for a worthy organization and I had a really hard time getting started. There is more things I should be doing but I keep delaying any action.

I seem to have left my verve somewhere and I can’t find it. I plan on looking again today after I drag myself to the gym for my mandatory rehab exercises. At least I will be rewarded with a breakfast with a good friend. In the meantime I’ll get to the other stuff tomorrow.

As I was searching for my verve yesterday I ran across these suggestions which I plan on following day after tomorrow.

Six easy steps you can take to completely eliminate procrastination. 

And remove the feelings of guilt and stress that come with it.

  1. Discover and clarify exactly what your subconscious self really wants to do and not do. Discover and clarify you own deep priorities, your own self-imposed obstacles (The things you do not want to do) and your passions. Discover real self-awareness.
  2. Replace the word “Should” in all of your own self-talk with the word “Want.” By doing so you eliminate the control of the outside forces and you take control of your choices, and more importantly you avoid the world of procrastination. Go ahead, pick something you normally procrastinate and now tell yourself you want to do it, but on your own terms. Immediately you will feel a sense of relief and control.

Yet, there are just some tasks that you dislike doing that you determined would be best for you to perform yourself, because not doing so would create worse consequences. We face many of these every day. Using the 4 discipline based steps below will not only make it much easier, but will maximize your positive results.

  1. Discover which activities you dislike performing, whether consciously or subconsciously that you feel must be performed by you. Be sure you really are the best person to perform these activities, knowing that you have a strong distaste for doing so, and that this conflict might reduce your capacity to produce the most favorable results you would want.
  2. Create ways to avoid as many of the activities you dislike, that others can perform better, so you do not burden yourself with unnecessary stresses, and self-criticism.
  3. Organize the timing and places to perform the activities you do not like but decided you must perform anyway in a manner that best suits your priorities and conditions, to allow you to perform these undesirable activities as quickly and effectively as possible.
  4. Celebrate the completion of these “must do distasteful tasks” every time. Reward yourself with positive events that are associated with their completion, which will enhance your desire to initiate performing them the next time.

~~~

It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.

Earl of Chesterfield

~~~

Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, young Lora said unhappily, “Mom, do you realize some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that?”

The woman shot her an angry look, “Lora, how dare you talk about your father like that!”

~~~

Nowadays, when Granny sits at the spinning wheel, chances are she’s at the casino.

~~~

I was carpooling with my friend Craig, he noticed that the “Check oil” light was on. He pulled into the gas station, got out of the car, opened the hood, checked the engine oil, closed the hood, then got back into the car. “Can we make a quick stop?” He asked.

“Sure,” I replied, “what did you need to do?”

“I need to stop by the auto parts place to get a longer dipstick?”

“What do you need a longer one for?” I enquired.

“Because the one I got isn’t long enough to reach the oil!”

~~~

A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart but he’s not very bright.

~~~

A friend of mine, a catering manager, lacks certain social skills–like knowing when to keep her mouth shut! While discussing a baby christening party with a young couple, she told the mother, “You look like you’ve lost most of your pregnancy weight.”

“Thanks,” came the clenched-teeth reply. We adopted.”

~~~

“Everybody keeps saying that women are smarter than men, but did you ever see a man wearing a shirt that buttons down the back?”

~~~

A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme?'” she asked.

“Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children.”

“Is that a record?” she inquired, puzzled in her turn.

“I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get.”

~~~

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

~~~

A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through the big book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the book several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, “You know, I can’t see that you did anything really good in your life, but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you’re in.”

The guy thinks for a moment and says, “Well, there was the time when I was driving down the highway and I saw a group of biker guys gathered around this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, there were about 20 of ’em tormenting this girl.” “Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the gang formed a circle around me. So, I ripped the leader’s chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, ‘Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! You’re all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'”

St. Peter, impressed, says, “Really? When did this happen?”

“Oh, about two minutes ago.”

~~~

My childhood was rough. Once for my birthday my old man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, “I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?”

“Why don’t you ask the rabbi?” says Morris.

Cecil sees Rabbi Golden and asks, “Rabbi, is it permissible for me to smoke while I pray?”

“No, you may not. That’s utter disrespect to our religion and traditions!” quickly answers the rabbi.

Cecil goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Rabbi told him.

“I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”

Morris goes over to the rabbi and asks, “Rabbi, will it be ok if I pray while I smoke?”

To which Rabbi Golden eagerly replies, “By all means, my good man. By all means.”

~~~

To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.

Eva Young

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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