Ray's musings and humor

Archive for August, 2013

Was it fate or was it luck?

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

Marcus Aurelius

fate-and-destiny

Here we are on the threshold of autumn after an eventful and rapidly moving summer. For some reason I took a little time to reflect back and remembered the Daily I wrote nine years ago that helped me to appreciate the cards that were dealt to me by fate. I have been truly fortunate.

 

Here is a reprint of my August 30, 2004 Daily.

If my mother had not been a single parent I would not have been sent to a boarding school when I was 11 where we were allowed to go home once a year during the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day.

If I had not been at boarding school before I returned home for high school I would have spent time with old friends rather than joining the US Naval Reserve at 14 with an altered birth certificate.

If I had not joined the Naval Reserve at 14, I would not have had the interest and courage to leave high school and attend an electronics engineering school at 15 where my fellow classmates were returning World War II veterans.

If I had not attended an electronics engineering school and done well I would not have been called into the Navy when I was 16 during the Korean War.

If I had not been in the Navy I would not have been selected for special computer and electronics training on the East Coast.

If I had not been assigned to an East Coast training facility I never would have met my wife on a blind date in New York.

If I had not married my wife I never would have fathered three fine children.

If one of my children had not parented one of my granddaughters she never would have become a gymnast and become a state champion at age nine.

If she had not become state champion many others would never have had a chance to see her and enjoy what she does.2013 note: She is currently attending Brown University as a freshman and will compete on the Brown Gymnastics team.

I don’t know if it is fate, luck, or what, all I know is that I am glad to know my granddaughter and watch her do something that gives her as much joy as she gives me. I have the good fortune to have six more grandchildren all close by, who do great things and provide me unlimited pleasure.

Our lives move forward each day, it is a journey that takes us to places we never would have imagined we would go. Some things we choose other things are given to us. In all cases it is worth stopping once in a while to look back and be thankful for whatever it was that brought us to where we are.

~~~

Fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant.

Seneca

~~~

Glenn and Scott are bungee-jumping one day when Glenn has a brainstorm, “You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico.” Scott agrees that it would be a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need – a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.

When everything is ready Glenn gives it a test jump. When he bounces at the end of the cord and comes back up, Scott notices that Glenn has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the Scott isn’t able catch him, so Glenn falls again, bounces, and then comes back up. This time, Glenn is bruised and bleeding. Again, Scott misses him. Glenn goes down again and this time, he comes back pretty messed up – he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.

On the next attempt, Scott finally catches him and pulls him in. “What happened?” he asks. “Was the cord too long?”

Glenn catches his breath and replies, “No, the cord was fine, but tell me… what the heck is a piñata?”

~~~

A consultant knows the way but can’t drive the vehicle.

~~~

A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, and reverses the charge and says to his father. “I need to borrow two hundred dollars,” he says.

At the other end, his father says, “Sorry, I can’t hear you, son, I think there may be a bad line.”

The boy shouts, “Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!”

“Sorry, I still can’t hear you clearly,” says his father.

The operator cuts in, “Sorry to butt in, But I can hear him perfectly clearly.”

The father says, “Good. YOU send him the money!”

~~~

“Age and Treachery Will Always Beat Youth and Skill”

~~~

A group of Rabbis were having lunch in “Isaacs White House” kosher restaurant. Unfortunately, Isaac served them watermelon spiked with cherry vodka that he had prepared for another table and he realized his mistake too late to do anything about it. All Isaac could do was wait in his kitchen and expect the worst.

As soon as the waiter came back into the kitchen with the empty plates, Isaac grabbed hold of him and asked, “What did they say, please tell me, what did they say?”

“Nothing at all, Mr Isaac,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy cleaning up the watermelon seeds and putting them into their pockets.”

~~~

“You’re Just Jealous Because the Little Voices Are Talking to Me”

~~~

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”

Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had “fallen.” This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe, old age.

A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. “Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they’ve fallen.”

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about, because your wife has already fallen three times this week!”

~~~

It is when we forget about ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered

~~~

A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn’t gotten the license number. “What kind of car was he driving?” the husband asked.

“I don’t know,” she said.  “I never can tell one car from another.” At that, the man decided the time had come for a learning course, and for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make and model.It worked!

About a week later she bounded in with a pleased look on her face…..”Honey…guess what? I just hit a Buick Regal.”

~~~

You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

~~~

This is a conversation that took place between a young man and a market surveyor in London.

Surveyor:  Which shaving cream do you use? Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which aftershave do you use? Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which deodorant do you use? Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which toothpaste do you use? Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which shampoo do you use? Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  (Frustrated) Okay, tell me, What is this Raymond? An international company?  A local firm?  What??? Young Man:  Raymond?  He’s my roommate.

~~~

It is essential to learn to enjoy life. It really does not make sense to go through the motions of existence if one does not appreciate as much of it as possible.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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We are running out of somedays

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew.”

Saint Francis de Sales

~~~

 self satisfaction

Have you run into people who seem to have given up on themselves like those I have met? When I do meet them I get distressed since more times than not they are so much better than they think they are. In fact in my experience in most cases they are either in the wrong place or they measure themselves against the wrong standards. I know I do not feel at all bad that I can’t run as fast as the next guy or put in the long hours that are often necessary to earn more than I need.

I wish more people would judge themselves by the friends they have made along the way, the little things they do successfully each day and what is right in their world rather than what is wrong. I think far too many of us hope that great happiness will come someday and all we have to do is wait until then. The problem with that is that it doesn’t take that long for the some-days to run out. So I like to think as St. Francis de Sales counsels that you can begin every day anew and make tomorrow the someday you dream about. Here is an edited article from the Personal Growth blog that can help those what to start.

 

How to Achieve Self Fulfillment.

Decide What You are Committed to Achieve. − As long as you live, you must have goals and dreams that will inspire and motivate you to improve. Happiness comes from making your own decisions, putting in your best efforts and living your dreams. You can experience the feeling of self fulfillment when you achieve whatever you have set out to do. Decide and commit yourself and acknowledge that you are responsible to shape your own destiny.

Develop a Sense of Gratitude. − Develop an attitude of gratitude. Find the positive in every situation and look for the good in it. Every setbacks, challenges or efforts that did not culminate as you have hoped, offer a lesson that you can benefit from if you look at it from a different point of view.

Live Your Days with Hope, Faith and Great Expectancy. − Hope and faith are positive and healing emotions. Expecting great things and having faith that they will materialize will influence your outcome. Put yourself in a positive state of mind so that you can focus on what you are committed to achieve.

Set Your Intention to Serve and Add Value to Life. − Regardless of what you are trying to achieve, set out an intention to add more value to your life and that of others. You will feel a sense of self fulfillment when you know that something that you said or did have brought improvement to your life and others.

Acknowledge that You are Worthy. − Knowing and feeling that you are a worthy person in spite of your past mistakes, failures and uncertainties of the future bring comfort to your soul and wellbeing. When you are aware and acknowledge that you do make mistakes but that it’s part of growing and that you don’t have to feel like a failure, it becomes easier for you to feel fulfilled.

Live by Your Personal Values. − Identify your personal values and live by them. Set your priorities right and together with your values, you will make your decisions and take action based on these. You won’t easily get sidetracked and forget about what’s important in your life.

Do Your Best. − You will feel a sense of pleasure when you give your all and do your best. Every action produces results and doing the right things and putting in maximum effort will pay off. Even if you achieve a different result, you will acquire something else worthwhile.

Enjoy the Ride. − Don’t wait until you achieve your goal to feel the sense of self fulfillment. Have fun while you work towards your goals. Plan for your future but live in the present. Go out, meet new people from different cultures and interests, travel and see the world, create a sense of adventure and try many new and different things.

~~~

Learn to be satisfied. It is just as easy as being dissatisfied and much more pleasant.

Jacob de Jager

~~~

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: “An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s mate is found in a ‘compromising position.'”

“See, I have a problem with that passion business,” responded one jury candidate. “During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him.” She wasn’t selected for the jury.

~~~

Andy Rooney on Vegetarians: “Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning ‘lousy hunter.'”

~~~

As I left the grocery store, I noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band.

“I’ll buy a chocolate bar on one condition,” I said to the boys. “You eat it for me.”

I bought one and handed the candy back to one of the boys.

He shook his head. “I can’t,” he said.

“Why not?”

Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, “I’m not supposed to take candy from strangers.”

~~~

Quote from a recent meeting: “We are going to continue having these meetings, every day, until I find out why no work is getting done”.

~~~

Moshe, the owner of a small Kosher New York deli, was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year. “Why don’t you people leave me alone?” the deli owner said. “I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?”

“It’s not your income that bothers us,” the agent said. “It’s these travel deductions. You listed ten trips to Israel for you and your wife.”

“Oh, that?” the owner said smiling. “Well… we also deliver.”

~~~

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.

J. B. Priestly

~~~

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor. While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police. When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said, “This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important.”

Two days went by and the construction workers couldn’t stand it anymore, they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said, “We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important.”

The police said, “It’s not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of important.”

“Well, who was it?”

“The 1956 National Hide-and-Seek Champion.”

~~~

One of the greatest satisfactions in life comes from getting things done and knowing you have done them to the best of your ability.

Robert W. Bly

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

People do care

Always be a first-rate version of yourself.

Audrey Hepburn

 SmilingServer1

The other day I wrote that I believed that if you behaved in a pleasing and positive manner that you would be rewarded in kind by the people you meet. I had a colleague once who said she thought I treated everyone as a friend, I was a little taken aback not realizing that I seemed to act that way. The great thing was that I never thought about it and looked towards all the people I met as possible future friends.

I truly enjoy meeting new people even if it is only during a few minutes if conversation with a restaurant server or a brief encounter with a stranger. I love learning their name and a little more about them and I am usually amazed at their response for it seems that most people take them for granted and don’t seem to appreciate what they do. It works in reverse too when a server goes out of their way to warmly greet me when I first sit down I begin the meal ritual with a good feeling.

Here is a story by Steve Brunkhorst that I have always liked, I hope you will too.

 

The Secret of Happiness

The old man shuffled slowly into the restaurant. With head tilted and shoulders bent forward, he leaned on his trusty cane with each unhurried step. His tattered cloth jacket, patched trousers, worn out shoes, and warm personality made him stand out from the usual Saturday morning breakfast crowd. Unforgettable were his pale blue eyes that sparkled like diamonds, large rosy cheeks, and thin lips held in a tight, steady smile.

He stopped, turned with his whole body, and winked at a little girl seated by the door. She flashed a big grin right back at him. A young waitress named Mary watched him shuffle toward a table by the window. Mary ran over to him, and said, ‘Here, Sir . . . let me give you a hand with that chair.’

Without saying a word, he smiled and nodded a thank you. She pulled the chair away from the table. Steadying him with one arm, she helped him move in front of the chair, and get comfortably seated. Then she scooted the table up close to him, and leaned his cane against the table where he could reach it. In a soft, clear voice he said, ‘Thank you, Miss . . .  and bless you for your kind gestures.’

‘You’re welcome, Sir.’ She replied. ‘And my name is Mary. I’ll be back in a moment and if you need anything at all in the mean time, just wave at me!’

After he had finished a hearty meal of pancakes, bacon and hot lemon tea, Mary brought him the change from his bill. He left it lay on the table. She helped him up from his chair and out from behind the table. She handed him his cane and walked with him to the front door. Holding the door open for him, she said, ‘Come back and see us, Sir!’

He turned with his whole body, winked and smiled, then nodded a thank you. ‘You are very kind.’ he said softly.

When Mary went to clean his table, she almost fainted. Under his plate she found a business card and a note scribbled on a napkin. Under the napkin was a one hundred dollar bill. The note on the napkin read . . . ‘Dear Mary, I respect you very much and I can see you respect yourself too. It shows by the way you treat others. You have found the secret of happiness. Your kind gestures will shine through to all those who meet you.’ The man she had waited on was the owner of the restaurant where she worked. This was the first time that she or any of his employees had ever seen him in person.

~~~

Care more than others think wise. Risk more than others think safe. Dream more than others think practical. Expect more than others think possible.

Howard Schultz

~~~

A friend said: Our five-year-old son went to a church conference with my wife and me. He got restless, so my wife handed him a pad and pencil and suggested he mark down every time the speaker said the word “and.” After a while, he grew bored, and I asked,

“Would you like to listen for a different word?”

“Yes,” he whispered.  “I’d like to listen for ‘Amen’.”

~~~

My neighbor has a circular driveway. He can’t get out.

Steven Wright

~~~

I have a daughter who is a school teacher, this is NOT from her.

You Might Be A School Teacher If …

  • You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
  • You want to slap the next person who says “Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free”.
  • You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
  • You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.
  • You have no life between August to June.
  • Marking all A’s on report cards would make your life SO much simpler.
  • You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the “lounge.”
  • You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.
  • You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
  • You know you are in for a major project when a parent says “I have a great idea I’d like to discuss. I think it would be such fun.”
  • You smile weakly, and want to choke a person when he or she says “Oh, you must have such FUN every day. This must be like playtime for you.”

~~~

Glass, china, and reputation are easily cracked and never well mended.

~~~

Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, “I hope the reverend didn’t see us or recognise my pick-up.”

The other replied indifferently, “What difference does it make. God knows we’re in here… and he’s the only one who counts.”

The first deacon countered, “But God won’t tell my wife.”

~~~

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her…or something like that.

~~~

As he lay on his deathbed he spoke, “Sara, I want you should know before I die that Ginsburg the tailor owes me $200, and Morris the butcher owes me $50, and Klein next door owes me $300.”

His wife turned to the children and said, “What a wonderful man your father is. Even when he’s dying he’s got the brains to realize who owes him money.”

The old man continued, “And Sara I want you to also know that I owe the landlord a hundred dollars.”

To which his wife cried, “Oh oh, now he’s getting delirious!”

~~~

If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.

~~~

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, “Look at me. I’m old and worn out. You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a  boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best  restaurants of France.”

The new man asked, “What happened?”

“One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!”

~~~

Do what you do so well that they will want to see it again and bring their friends.

Walt Disney

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

How do you think your day will be?

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference.  The little difference is attitude.  The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.

W. Clement Stone

stay positive

The more I observe the world around me the more I think many unhappy people expect the worst and it becomes their reality. If you go out each day expecting the worst I am sure you will find and in the process over look what’s right in the world. I again agree with Stone as I usually do, attitude does make a huge difference. If you look ahead to having a good day you are much less likely to let a small disappointment block your path.

I have again taken the liberty of editing one of Mark Chernoff’s articles due to space limitations. The article was entitled “How to Quiet the Negative Voice Inside You.” Here is what he wrote:

Why do we think negatively when we know better?

Because thinking negatively, expecting “the worst,” seeing the downside of positive situations, and even downright expecting failure, all convey a kind of backwards-thinking, emotional insurance policy.  It goes something like, “If I expect a tragedy, then I won’t be disappointed when it takes place.”  And since negative thinking leads to negative actions, or no action at all in many cases, by thinking negatively we create a self-fulfilling prediction for ourselves.

Of course, none of this is what we truly want or need in our lives.  So how can we stop talking ourselves into these thinking traps?  Let’s take a look at four powerful ways to quiet the negative, inner voice that leads us astray:

1.  Start focusing on the grey area between the extremes. − Life simply isn’t black or white – 100% of this or 100% of that – all or nothing.  Thinking in extremes like this is a fast way to misery, because negative thinking tends to view any situation that’s less than perfect as being extremely bad.

Since 99.9% of all situations in life are less than perfect, black and white thinking tends to make us focus on the negative – the drama, the failures, and the worst case scenarios.  Sure catastrophes occur on occasion, but contrary to what you many see on the evening news, most of life occurs in a grey area between the extremes of bliss and devastation.

2.  Stop looking for negative signs from others. − Too often we jump to conclusions, only to cause ourselves and others unnecessary worry, hurt, and anger.  If someone says one thing, don’t assume they mean something else.  If they say nothing at all, don’t assume their silence has some hidden, negative connotation. Thinking negatively will inevitably lead you to interpret everything another person does as being negative, especially when you are uncertain about what the other person is thinking. 

Assigning meaning to a situation before you have the whole story makes you more likely to believe that the uncertainty you feel (based on lack of knowing) is a negative sign.  On the flip-side, holding off on assigning meaning to an incomplete story is a primary key to overcoming negative thinking.  When you think more positively, or simply more clearly about the facts, you’ll be able to evaluate all possible reasons you can think of, not just the negative ones. 

3.  Evaluate and eliminate unreasonable rules and expectations. − You must deal with the world the way it is, not the way you expect it to be.  Life is under no obligation to give you exactly what you expect.  In fact, whatever it is you’re seeking will rarely ever come in the form you’re expecting, but that doesn’t make it any less wonderful. The bottom line is that you must see and accept things as they are instead of as you hoped, wished, or expected them to be.  Just because it didn’t turn out like you had envisioned, doesn’t mean it isn’t exactly what you need to get to where you ultimately want to go

Think positive.  Life is good.  Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting pure gold.  Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to always happen, but accepting that whatever happens is the best for the moment.  So keep smiling and keep staying true to your heart.  Someday, the negative voice inside you will have nothing left to say.

~~~

“An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality.”

Brian Tracy

~~~

From the original Hollywood Squares:

Q: Do female frogs croak? A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high? A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q: True or false – a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q: You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A: Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he’s really attractive, is it all right to come out directly and ask him if he’s married? A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

~~~

“Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter.”

Samuel J. Hurwitt

~~~

She said:

Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don’t bounce back. It’s more like splat!

Midlife is when you realize that, if you were a dog, you would need a control top flea collar.

Midlife brings the wisdom that life throws you curves and that you’re now sitting on your biggest ones.

Midlife can bring out your angry, bitter side. You look at your latte-swilling, beeper-wearing know-it-all teenager and think, “For this I have stretch marks?”

Midlife is when your memory really starts to go: the only thing you still retain is water.

~~~

“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”

Jerry Seinfeld

~~~

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lilies. “Tch, Tch!” said the passerby to himself. “What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I’ll see if I can help.”

So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, “What are you doing, my friend?”

“Fishin’, sir.”

“Fishin’, eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?”

The old man stood up, put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar.

His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, “Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?”

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, “You are the 6th today, sir!”

~~~

“Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.”

~~~

An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand, and announced…

“It’s a boy, six feet tall and 190 pounds!”

~~~

“Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.”

Francesca Reigler

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Mirror mirror, what do you see?

Look closely at the present you are constructing: it should look like the future you are dreaming

Alice Walker

happy-reflection

I was with a friend the other day who reported that his life became boring and uneventful after he retired. As I listened I thought that my friend seemed to be waiting for something or someone to knock on his door and invite him to the party. Unfortunately his restraint struck me as being similar to the guy sitting in the corner observing and never saying anything while seldom participating in what was going on.

Later I decided that I hoped he would learn that the world is like a mirror. That what the mirror sees when you look at it will be reflected back to you and others in kind. If it reflects a pleasing personality you will attract others with a similar personality. If it reflects a happy outlook happy people will gravitate to you. In my opinion there is no reason to accept an unsatisfactory status quo, all you need do is work to behave like the kind of people you would like to know.

Here is a piece from an article entitled ‘Your Forces and How to Use Them’ by C.D. Larson that holds some of breakout tips that change people lives.

 

Promise yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

~~~

Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself. You may be surprised at how easily this happens. Your doubts are not as powerful as your desires, unless you make them so

Marcia Wieder

~~~

A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed, “This is Mr. Magillicutty. I need you to bury my wife.”

“Mr. Magillicutty? Sidney Magillicutty?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Didn’t I bury your wife 10 years ago?” the undertaker asked.

“I got married again,” the man sobbed.

“Oh,” replied the undertaker. “Congratulations.”

~~~

“Out of My Mind — Will Be Back Shortly”

~~~

Now that school is starting everywhere, here are some actual comments made by NYC Teachers on student’s report cards. These comment were made as part of their final narratives. All the Teachers were reprimanded, but they said it was worth it!

1. “Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.”

2. “I would not allow your student to breed.”

3. “Your child has delusions of adequacy.”

4. “Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”

5. “Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”

6. “The student has a “full six pack” but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.”

7. “This child has been working with glue too much.”

8. “When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.”

9. “The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is not coming.”

10. “If this student were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”

~~~

“Growing Old Is Mandatory — Growing Up Is Optional”

~~~

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you, Grandma. Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.”

The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that, dear?” she asked.

The little boy replied, “I heard Daddy tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again!”

~~~

“It is better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers.”

James Thurber

~~~

An elderly man was driving down the freeway, and the car phone rings. Answering, he found it was his son’s voice urgently warning, “I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on I-285.  Please! Be careful!”

“Hey!” said the senior citizen, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”

~~~

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

~~~

The school of agriculture’s dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student, “Why have you chosen this career?” he asked.

“I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father,” the student replied.

“Your father made a million dollars in farming?” echoed the dean much impressed.

“No,” replied the applicant. “But he always dreamed of it.”

~~~

“Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.”

Oscar Wilde

~~~

A 3-year-old was diligently pounding away on her father’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story.

“What’s it about?” he asked.

“I don’t know” she replied, “I can’t read.”

~~~

“Statistics Means Never Having to Say you’re Certain”

~~~

Barbara said, I returned to my parents’ home to attend a funeral. At the funeral my mother led me to a man who looked vaguely familiar.  “Barbara, remember Rabbi Green?” she asked as she left me in his company.

I frantically tried to place him, and suddenly it came to me. He must be the kind man who, five years earlier, had officiated at my grandmother’s funeral. “It’s good to see you again, Rabbi,” I said. “Though I wish it weren’t always under such tragic circumstances.  “The rabbi looked perplexed but uttered some words of consolation before he was called away. A few minutes later, I rejoined my mother.

“Imagine,” she whispered, “after all this time, to run into the rabbi who performed your wedding!”

~~~

We are not put on this earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are always there for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you

Jeff Warner

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I trust you

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

Ernest Hemingway

trust

Boy do I think Hemingway is right. I hated it when my old company put in a system that required us to go through a lengthy procedure to make sure someone was not cheating us on a warrantee claim. We would spend an hour of labor to make sure we were not going to be cheated out of a hundred dollars or so and you know what, I don’t think we ever found anyone who cheated. We spent all kinds of money and goodwill while we treated every customer as a possible cheat.

I have found over the years that trusting people builds friendships and positive relationships. I quit spending all kinds of time checking my statements to make sure there were no financial errors, now I look at the bottom line and if I am only a few cents off I don’t need to spend hours finding it, my time is worth more. I get concerned about folks who go through life seeming to feel the world is out to cheat them when in reality most people are good people and deserve not to be looked at as suspects.

Here are excerpts from an article entitled Fear of trusting people written by M.Farouk Radwan, MSc that I wish more people would heed.

 

The problem with thinking that people aren’t trust worthy

If you believed in any idea then your subconscious mind will gather for you all the clues that proves this idea true. Your subconscious will discard some important events and will focus on the ones that prove that people aren’t trust worthy.

I am not saying that people are angels, while there are people whom you should not trust still there are good people out there. All people can’t be trusted but still some can be trusted.

How to Trust people Again

Whenever you have problems trusting someone ask yourself these questions, if someone wasn’t trust worthy does this mean that the whole world is not? If I had a car accident one day does this mean that I should not cross the street anymore? The more you ask yourself these questions the more you will be challenging your incorrect beliefs about others and the more you will start trusting people

Whenever you find yourself prejudging others remind yourself that your subconscious mind can prove this idea even if it was false. The only way you can find the truth about people is avoiding any kind of bias, only then you will discover who is really trust worthy and who isn’t .

Even if you discovered that someone wasn’t trust worthy know that one person doesn’t represent the whole world because he is still one person.

Allow others to trust you by being honest. People who cheat on others and who lie often usually have problems trusting others because they think that everyone else is going to be like them.

You don’t have to trust everyone but you must know that there are some people out there who can be trusted.

~~~

“It is more shameful to distrust one’s friends than to be deceived by them.”

François Duc De La Rochefoucauld

~~~

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of sudden death. “We will all die some day,” the leader of the discussion said, “and none of us really knows when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event.” Everybody nodded his or her heads in agreement with this comment. “What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, before your Great Judgment Day?” the leader asked the group.

“For those 4 weeks, I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted Jesus into their lives.” one gentleman said.

“A very admirable thing to do,” said the group leader. And all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.

“For those 4 weeks, I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction,” one lady said enthusiastically.

“That’s wonderful!” the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.

One gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly. ” For those 4 weeks, I would travel throughout the United States with my mother-in-law in a Ford Escort, and stay in a Motel 6 every night.”

Everyone was puzzled by his answer. “Why would you do that?” the group leader asked. “Because,” the man smiled sarcastically, “it would be the longest 4 weeks of my life.”

~~~

Those who say they “sleep like a baby” obviously haven’t got one.

~~~

The shoe dealer was hiring a clerk.  “Suppose,” he said, “a lady customer were to remark while you were trying to fit her, ‘Don’t you think one of my feet is bigger than the other?’ What would you say?”

“I would say, ‘On the contrary, Ma’am, one is smaller than the other.’ ”

“The job is yours.”

~~~

Everybody repeat after me: “We are all individuals!”

~~~

Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found his wife Fanny in the arms of another man. He started to yell at the interloper, “What right have you got to be making love to my wife?”

The man answered calmly, “You may as well know that I am in love with Fanny and I would like to marry her. I understand you’re a gambler. Why don’t you be a good sport and sit down and play a game of gin rummy with me? If I lose, I’ll never see her again; if you lose, you must agree to divorce her…. OK?”

“OK,” replied Horowitz, “but just to make it a little more interesting, why don’t we also play for a dollar a point?”

~~~

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

~~~

Morty and Sarah had just returned home from a party. Sarah said, “Do you realize what you did tonight, Morty?”

“No I don’t,” Morty replied, “But I’ll admit I was wrong. What did I do?”

~~~

Sign in a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

~~~

One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. “My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish,” said God. “Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways,” said the nun.

“There must be something you would have of me,” said God.

“Well, there is one thing,” she said.

“Just name it,” said God.

“It’s those blond jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop.”

“Consider it done,” said God. “Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you.”

“There is one thing. But it’s really small, and not worth your time,” said the nun.

“Name it. Please,” said God.

“It’s the M&M’s,” said the nun. “They’re so hard to peel.”

~~~

“It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.”

Dr. Samuel Johnson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Boost your mood

“When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.”

Mark Twain

boost your mood

Do you ever get the blahs? I do and since I can’t stand too much time in a funk I usually quickly do something to bring my mind back to a better place. You are probably like I am and don’t have too much time to waste wallowing in glum. Fortunately I have almost always been able to quickly pull myself back to a better place. The following article suggests using techniques that are almost identical to the things that have worked for me. Maybe if you ever have a bad day they will work for you too.

 

7 Ways to Boost Your Mood

By Z. Hereford

There are times when no matter how hard we try to avoid it, we sink into a funk or a less than productive mood. We drag our feet, feel unmotivated and lose perspective. When that happens we can either roll with it hoping it will wear off, or we can apply strategies to counteract it.

To help you get moving and back on track again, here are some helpful suggestions to boost your mood.

1. Get some exercise. Exercise is one of the quickest ways to pick yourself up because it stimulates circulation and releases the happy hormones, otherwise known as endorphins. Before you know it you will be ready to take on the world, or at least you’ll feel that way!

2. Have a catnap. If you’re worn out and too tired to exercise, perhaps a nap is in order. It’s surprising how a little fifteen or twenty-minute rest can be refreshing. Not only that, when we nap new ideas, insights and solutions come to the surface from our sub-conscious. Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill and John F. Kennedy were all known to take catnaps to rejuvenate themselves.

3. Listen to uplifting music. Music is the ultimate mood changer! It can take you from the depths of listlessness to the heights of exhilaration. As Plato observed “Music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul”.

4. Take a break and have a cup of tea or coffee. There is a reason coffee breaks are mandatory at most work places. Of course you need not drink tea or coffee but stepping away from what you were doing gives you a fresh new outlook and when you get back to it, you’re ready to roll.

5. Focus on the positive. At times when we get involved in a project and things aren’t going well or when we’re having a bad day, we have a tendency to become negative and distort the situation. We forget what has gone well and what is working. When that happens, it’s a good idea to re-focus, look at what is going right, what you have accomplished and how far you’ve come. It will give you the boost you need to keep going.

6.Talk to someone. Expressing your feelings to a friend or colleague can be both therapeutic and a way to get you out of your mood. When someone empathizes or commiserates with us, we feel that the burden is not all ours to bear and that someone understands what we’re going through. Knowing that others care or have had similar feelings gives us a pickup and helps motivate us to move on.

7. Switch direction completely. Sometimes getting in a rut or down mood can be the result of spending too much time on one particular task. In those cases you need a different type of break. The best thing to do is walk away from what you’re doing and engage in something completely different. If you’ve been working at a computer all day, take a break and go shopping, visit a friend or clean out your closet (a popular choice I’m sure). When you get back to the task at hand, you will have a new, fresh mindset.

As you can see, we are not at the mercy of our moods. When we get stuck (and we all do at times), we have the ability to lift ourselves up, rise above what’s momentarily dragging us down and forge ahead.

~~~

One small positive thought can change your whole day or your whole life.

Nishant Grover

~~~

Two older women, Judy and Monica, who were rivals in a social circle met at a party. “My dear,” said Monica, “Are those real pearls?”

“They are,” replied Judy.

“Of course, the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them,” smiled Monica.

Judy responded, “Yes, but for that you would need real teeth.”

~~~

The Earth is full – go home.

~~~

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y’allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are xamples excerpts from the Y’allbonics/English dictionary:

RETARD – (verb) – To stop working. Usage “My grampaw retard at age 65.”

FAT – (noun), (verb) – a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage “You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh.”

RATS – (noun) – Entitled power or privilege. Usage “We Southerners are willin’ to fat for are rats.”

~~~

“I think a really funny joke would be for NASA to send up rockets and push a bunch of planets out of alignment. Then they could sit back and laugh when everyone realizes that their horoscopes aren’t coming true.”

Eric Presbrey

~~~

There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand– it being hot and him being thirsty– he decided to stop. once he got up to the little boy’s stand, he noticed a sign that said “All you can drink 10 cents”, well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway. Well, he gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. so he slapped it back onto the table and says, “fill ‘er up.” and the kid says, “sure thing, that’ll be 10 cents.” To this the business man says, “but your sign says all you can drink for a dime.” “It is,” the little boy replies, “that’s all you can drink for a dime.

~~~

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Guitry

~~~

“It’s no good, sir,” said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. “I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other.”

“Goes in both ears and out the other?” asked the puzzled teacher. “But you only have two ears, boy.”

“You see, sir? I’m no good at math, either!”

~~~

“A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it.”

Edward P. Morgan

~~~

It’s October, and an Indian chief thinks it’s going to be a cold winter. So he instructs his tribe to collect firewood. To double-check his prediction, the chief calls the National Weather Service and asks a meteorologist if the winter is going to be a cold one.

The man responds, “According to our indicators, we think it might.”

So the chief tells his people to find extra wood, just in case. A week later he calls the National Weather Service again, and they confirm that a harsh winter is headed their way.

The chief orders all of his people to scavenge every scrap of wood they can. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again and asks, “Are you absolutely sure this winter is going to be very cold?”

“Absolutely,” the man replies. “The Indians are collecting wood like crazy.”

~~~

In one minute you can change your attitude and in that minute you can change your entire day.

Ritu Ghatourey

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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