Ray's Daily

It is Labor Day weekend in the USA

The most perfect political community is one in which the middle class is in control, and outnumbers both of the other classes.

Aristotle

~~~

 

Hi everyone, this Monday is Labor Day in my country and it is a national holiday. Since we have picked up so many readers from outside the country I thought it was better to send something rather than just be missing in action. Instead of my working here is my Labor Day message from 2004. Enjoy. I’ll be back Tuesday.

Ray’s Daily

First Published on 9/2/2004

 I am having difficulty dealing with today’s political rhetoric. It seems to me that Vannevar Bush was on target when he said “A belief may be larger than a fact.”

Our politicians keep telling us that the American People want this, the American People want that, and that the American People believe this or that. I am not sure I have ever met any of these American People for they would have to be both for tax cuts and higher taxes, for both right-to-life and choice, for free trade and protectionism, you know the rest of it, we hear it every day. It seems like too many politicians believe that if they say it often enough it will be true, no matter what the facts, they even seem to start believing it themselves. Sadly it seems that how messages are presented and how often they are repeated does make a difference, no matter if they are true or not. It also seems that too many of my fellow citizens are committed to their current beliefs no matter what the facts may be. When you ask a specific, or an in depth question, way too many will say “I just know, that’s all,” or will repeat something they heard said over and over that justifies why they think the way they do.

If you have been following what is going on this election season you might find the game interesting. It seems the real players are the spin doctors, image consultants, and campaign strategists. It would be an insult to believe that our country would make critical choices on the basis of who had the best advertising or the slickest message; it would be an insult if it was not the way things seem to be going.

Too many of us seem to want to be left alone and not bothered with having to get the facts. Maybe those of us that can ignore reality are the illusive American People that the politicians report are for everything and against everything. Alice seems to have left Wonderland and is working its magic on us, or maybe Orwell’s characters have sprung to life.

~~~

Everyone wishes to have truth on his side, but not everyone wishes to be on the side of truth.

Richard Whately

~~~

A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: “We have a critical shortage of typists. I’ll give you a little test. Type this,” he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.

The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. “That’s fine,” he said. “Report for work at 8 tomorrow.” “But aren’t you going to check the test?” the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned.

“You passed the test,” he replied, “when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine.

~~~

Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.

Pablo Picasso

~~~

She wrote:

Dear Tide,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn’t come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people . . .

~~~

Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.

~~~

The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.  At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills!!

“Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?!?”

“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”

“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep at night!”

She reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee. “Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks…And believe me…….it helps me sleep at night!!!”

~~~

We have enough people who tell it like it is; now we could use a few who can tell it like it can be.

~~~

Lil’ Johnny’s mother took her 6 year old son with her to the bank.  They were in line behind a rather obese lady.  As the mother patiently waited, Lil’ Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, “Hey, Mom, she’s really fat.”

The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile.  Lil’ Johnny received a reprimand. After a minute or two, Lil’ Johnny spread his hands as far as they will go and loudly said, “I bet her butt is ‘that’ wide.”

At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed mother severely scolds her son. Again after a couple of minutes Lil’ Johnny stated loudly, “Look how the fat hangs over her belt.” The lady turned and told Johnny’s mother to control her child and his mother threatened him with severe bodily harm.

The lady’s pager begins to go off. Lil’ Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice, “Run for your life, she’s backing up”

~~~

I don’t have a solution, but I admire the problem.

~~~

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days after the ad came out. All from the same person.

~~~

Pray for a good harvest, but keep on plowing.

Nancy Otto

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Laugh alot today

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

Dr. Seuss

One of the things I like about you and our other readers is that we get to share some laughter almost every day. It took me a while to realize that there was no value in taking life too seriously. A few years ago I was slipping into unconsciousness in the ICU of a local hospital when I heard someone on the crash team say “Can you believe this guy, he is going under and he is still joking.” And I probably was as I learned a long time ago that there is little use in letting adversity take you down. In my experience it is really hard to cry if you are having fun.

I have had a lifetime of obstacles to overcome and have found that maintaining a sense of humor has a way of lightening the load. I also honestly feel that the secret of my frequent rapid recovery from illness has been the therapeutic value of humor mixed with the friendship of positive people. So my friend I want to thank you for if you were not there to possibly read our daily attempt at humor I might not be as diligent in mixing a daily dose laughter for myself and to share with you and the others.

I think author Elizabeth Scott understands, here is an article she wrote recently on how to reduce stress.

 

Laughing More and Having Fun

Guide to Having More Fun In Your Life and Reducing Stress

Having fun is an important part of stress management. Because studies show such wonderful health and stress relief benefits to laughter and even the anticipation of laughter, we should all work on getting more giggles into each day. And because of the many wellness benefits of leisure time, having fun should be a priority in the life of anyone who wants better health, greater happiness and less stress. Here are some strategies for having more fun in your life:

Have Friends Over More Often

Most people find themselves very busy these days — often busier than they want to be. While the activities that occupy our time are important, having fun is equally important. While busy lifestyles can sap us of our spontaneity, having friends over and setting aside some time just to play can offer a regular outlet for having fun.

Tell Jokes

Aside from forwarding emails that make us chuckle (which isn’t bad, as long as you’re sure not to forward things that people may find annoying), most people don’t just tell jokes anymore, which is too bad. If you cull the internet, Reader’s Digest and other sources for just one or two good jokes, you’ll find that the laughter is often contagious, others may share jokes right back, and you’re suddenly having more fun in your life.

Be ‘In The Now’

There’s currently a lot said in the media on mindfulness and “being in the now,” and for good reason. When you’re basing yourself firmly in the present moment (rather than ruminating on past or anticipated stressors), you’re more open to happiness, laughter and having fun.

Maintain a Sense of Humor

You can turn your stresses into fun with an attitude shift if you focus on maintaining a sense of humor in your daily life. With a lighthearted attitude, events that would normally be annoying become amusing; big hassles become humorously absurd; major stressors become really great stories waiting to be told. Having a sense of humor is a big part of having fun — it’s a way to actively seek out fun and happiness instead of waiting for it to come to you.

~~~

I realize that humor isn’t for everyone. It’s only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive.

Anne Wilson Schaef

~~~

Two dogs were walking down the street.  The one dog says to the other, “Wait here a minute, Herb, I’ll be right back.” He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for a couple minutes, then walks back across the street.

The other dog, Herb, says, “So, what was all that about?”

The dog first dog says, “Oh, nothing much. I was just checking my messages.”

~~~

“Being over the hill is lots better than being under it!”

~~~

A priest is repairing a fence surrounding his parish. He notices a small boy is standing nearby for a long time. The priest finally asks him, “Do you want to speak with me, my son?”

“Oh, no. I’m just waiting.”

“Well, waiting for what?” came the priest’s reply.

“Waiting to hear what a priest says when he hits his finger with a hammer.”

~~~

Time flies whether or not you’re having fun.

~~~

Morris bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying . “Free to good home, You want it — you take it”. For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it….

Eventually, Morris decided that people were too untrusting of the deal, that it looked “too good to be true”…So he changed the sign to read “Fridge for sale — $150”. The next day someone stole it.

~~~

If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life.

Rachel Carson

~~~

A conversation heard at a local pub:

“Gee, Sam, wish you were here with me.”

“But Tom, I am. Look see, I’m right in front of you.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Can prove you’re not. Bet you $5.”

“You’re on.”

“You’re not in New York City, are you?”

“That’s true.”

“And you’re not in Montreal.”

“Can’t argue with you there.”

“And you are definitely not in Paris.”

“Nope.”

“If you’re not in New York City, Montreal or Paris, then you must be someplace else.”

“Yea, that makes sense.”

“Well, if you’re someplace else, you can’t be here. So pay up, let’s have the $5.”

“Can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not here.”

~~~

Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process.

Anthony Robbins

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Do you really know yourself?

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”

Voltaire

I wonder sometimes how many roadblocks we throw up that keep us from a happier life. Some of us seem to be so self-critical that we lose our confidence and start to stagnate. As I have said before I am shocked at how many people don’t realize just how good they are. I wish more would take inventory at the end of the day to note the positive moments their day held.

Taking a moment to be pleasant with someone else is as important as most things we do and we should appreciate those moments. An unselfish act counts too. Also what about those tasks we complete that may not seem like much, but they are, they are jobs well done.

Don’t let your mind hold you back, there is a lot of life to live yet and you can make it special if you set yourself free. Angel Chernoff wrote a piece a while ago that she titled Questions that Will Free Your Mind and Turn Your Life Around. It is far too long to reprint here but I am sharing some parts that I especially like. Here is what she wrote:

 

Questions that Will Free Your Mind and Turn Your Life Around

It’s not the answers you get from others, but the questions you ask yourself that will help you grow stronger.  In fact, the simple questions you ask yourself on a daily basis will determine the type of person you become in the long run.

Keep in mind that these questions have no right or wrong answers…Because sometimes asking the right questions IS the answer.

1. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend?

Remember, the way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.  You must love who you are or no one else will.  So treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.  Stop discrediting yourself for everything you aren’t, and start giving yourself credit for everything you ARE.  We have to learn to be our own best friends, because sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.

2. If today were the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today?

Think long and hard.  And when your answer is NO for too many days in a row, you know it’s time for a change.

And this is an interesting conversation, because we are all aware deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to every one of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know.  It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step.  You expected there to be one more stair than there is, and so you find yourself off balance for a moment, before your mind shifts back to reality and how the world really is.

You’ve got to take that step.  Because sadly, there are far too many people who live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing they can customize absolutely everything.  Don’t be one of them!  You have to live your own life your own way.  That’s all there is to it.  Each of us has a unique fire in our heart for something that makes us feel alive.  It’s your duty to find it and keep it lit.  You’ve got to stop caring so much about what everyone else wants for you, and start actually living for yourself.

3. What are you holding on to that you need to let go of?

It happens to you slowly as you grow.  You discover more about who you are and what you want, and then you realize that there are changes you need to make.  The lifestyle you’ve been living no longer fits.  The people you’ve known forever no longer see things the way you do.  So you cherish all the great memories, but find yourself in desperate need of moving on.

Some things simply are NOT meant to be.  Everything from your past does not belong in your present.  To hold on to relationships and circumstances that have already moved on without you, is to stay stuck in a place and time that no longer exists.  Moving on doesn’t mean you erase or completely forget the wonderful things from your past, it just means that you find a positive way of surviving without them in your present.

~~~

Your destiny is to fulfill those things upon which you focus most intently. So choose to keep your focus on that which is truly magnificent, beautiful, uplifting and joyful. Your life is always moving toward something.

Ralph Marston

~~~

A man was going up to bed, when his wife told him he’d left the light on in the garden shed – she could see it from the bedroom window. But he said that he hadn’t been in the shed that day. He looked himself, and there were people in the shed, stealing things. He rang the police, but they told him that no-one was in his area, so no-one was available to catch the thieves. He said ok, hung up, counted to 30 and rang the police again.

“Hello. I just rang you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed? Well, you don’t have to worry about them now, I’ve just shot them all.”

Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to this man: “I thought you said you’d shot them!”

He replied: “I thought you said there was no-one available!”

~~~

“We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself.”

Lloyd Alexander

~~~

A young man is reported to have approached the renowned composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (one of the great musical prodigies of all time), and asked, “Herr Mozart, I have the ambition to write symphonies and perhaps you can advise me how to get started.”

Mozart said, “The best advice I can give you is to wait until you are older and more experienced, and try your hand at less ambitious pieces to begin with.”

The young man looked astonished. “But, Herr Mozart, you yourself wrote symphonies when you were considerably younger than I.”

“Ah,” said Mozart, “but I did so without asking advice.”

~~~

Teacher: “Remember, Class — Nothing Is Impossible.”

Melissa: “What about squeezing all the toothpaste out of the tube and putting it back in again?”

~~~

The Minister, after listening to an impromptu campaign speech, “Before I vote for you for sheriff, I’d like to know if you partake of intoxicating beverages?”

Candidate for sheriff, “Before I answer, tell me if this is an inquiry or an invitation.”

~~~

Success in life comes not from holding a good hand, but in playing a poor hand well.

Denis Waitley

~~~

On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver.

“Not only have you been driving too fast, you’ve been passing cars where it is not allowed.  Your lights don’t work, your tires all completely worn out. This is surely going to cost you a lot.  What’s your name?”

“Schtrathewisizeski Vocgefastilongchinic”, replied the foreign driver.

“Well, I’ll let you go this time but don’t do it again.”

~~~

The comfort zone is the great enemy to creativity; moving beyond it necessitates intuition, which in turn configures new perspectives and conquers fears.

Dan Stevens

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

What do you think?

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Yesterday I suggested that we all would benefit by investing some of our time in introspection. Too many of us are inundated with hundreds of things coming our way each day, some of which are important and some of which are not. We can all benefit by not wasting time thinking about that which is unimportant and thinking about what we might do to make our lives even better.

I know one thing; we are never going to do more than when we do now if we don’t think about what we might do instead of waiting time. Who knows we might even be able to replace our unimportant time wasters with some exciting new activities,

Here is a poem that I like I hope you will too.

 

Reflecting on Life

 

Take time to stop today

Take time to stop a while

Reflect on how life changes

Then take the time to smile

 

Know that as the days go by

These things that challenge you

Will one day just be memories

Of times you have gone through

 

Look back now on yesterday

And all you have achieved

Recognize the strengths you’ve gained

The blessings you’ve received

 

One day in the future

You will think about today

You’ll see just how these challenges

Have helped you on your way

 

Written by Michelle Tetley

 

Michelle is an Australia based poet who is passionate about conveying positive, heartfelt messages to others through her poetry.

~~~

Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself. You may be surprised at how easily this happens. Your doubts are not as powerful as your desires, unless you make them so

Marcia Wieder

~~~

Actual excerpts from Royal Navy and Marines officer fitness reports:

*  His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

*  I would not breed from this officer.

*  He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

*  He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

*  This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

*  Since my last report he has reached rock bottom; has started to dig.

*  She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to meet them.

*  He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

*  Works well  under constant supervision when cornered like a rat in a trap.

*  This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

~~~

I used to be stupid but I’ve turned that situation around 360 degrees.

~~~

Jeff, Bill and John stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. As luck would have it, Jill was their waitress.  Jeff ordered a tuna-fish sandwich on white bread.

“Tuna?” Jill asked. “You’ll like our chicken salad better. And how about whole wheat bread instead of white? It has more vitamins.”

“All right,” Jeff answered. “Make it chicken salad on whole wheat.”

Bill ordered next: “Green salad, no dressing and coffee.”

“No dressing?” asked Jill. “There isn’t much to that. Why not a pear and cottage cheese salad? And coffee will only keep you awake. Have an ice cold milk.”

“All right,” Bill answered. “Let me have a pear and cottage cheese salad with an ice cold milk.”

With that, John asked Jill what she would suggest for him.

“Suggest?” said Jill. “Who’s got time for suggestions?”

~~~

“A sense of curiosity is nature’s original school of education.”

Smiley Blanton

~~~

Michael was an extremely avid golfer with a cynical attitude and arrogance, that when he passed away, few people shed a tear. Michael approached the Pearly Gates where St. Peter was waiting for him. Rather than pass through the gates as normal people had done, Michael stopped to ask a question.

“Before I agree to come in, I want to know exactly what kind of golf course you have here” he said to St. Peter.

“That shouldn’t matter to you.” said St. Peter.

“But it does. And then in his arrogant manner exclaimed “Well if I can’t see it, then I’m not coming in!”

“Very well Michael. As you wish…look through the gates.” He looked and saw the poorest, most rundown, excuse for a golf course that it made him sick to his stomach.

“Forget it. There is no way in Hell I’m going to spend eternity playing on that course!”

Just then, Michael heard the Devil calling him over the gate. “Come over here and see what I have to offer.” Michael peers through the gate and he is elated! There is the most absolutely fabulous golf course he has ever seen! He turns to the Devil and says “I want to play THAT course!”

“Ok. Step on through and it’s yours forever.”

St. Peter pleaded with Michael as he headed off with the Devil and the gates closed behind him. Michael walked up to the first tee and said “I can’t wait to play! Where are my clubs and ball? The Devil roared with laughter. “Oh, there aren’t any.”

~~~

Please understand my friend, that where you find yourself tomorrow is a function of the positive decisions and actions you take today

Akin A. Awolaja

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

What do you think?

Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow, if you see it and believe it you will achieve it”

Mary Giuseffi

 

The other day I shared with my Facebook friends an article from the New York Times Sunday Review entitled No Time to Think written by Kate Murphy http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/27/sunday-review/no-time-to-think.html?_r=4. In the article she reports that most of us stay so busy that we never give ourselves time for personal reflection. The article goes on to suggest that many of us stay busy because it keeps us from having to think beyond our own little world. What scares me is that if too many of us stop looking outwards for answers to today’s major questions the answers will come from those willing to impose their solutions on us all.

I agree that it is not always easy to face up to reality so that we can take action when appropriate; But if we don’t who will? Recently Marcy McKay offered some ideas on how we can do some productive thinking once we decide to do it. Here is some of what she wrote on the Change Blog:

 

What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

 

Many people are on the go 24/7. Overworked, overcommitted, and overstimulated seems to be the norm these days. It’s harder than ever to slow down long enough to connect with ourselves and find the solutions we need.

Write it Out

Okay, okay, I hear the groans, but stay with me. I’m not talking New-Agey mumbo-jumbo here. You don’t have to keep a daily diary. I’m talking about writing to find solutions. Write in order to make your world right. Writing is an excellent tool for finding solutions because it incorporates both our left and right sides of the brain. I’ve been using this process for 18 years. Here’s what you do.

• Butt in chair – Enough said.
• Pick Your Poison – Either write by hand, or type at the computer. If you’re hand writing, don’t use a pretty, little journal. They’re expensive and you feel compelled to only write pretty, little thoughts. You need space to gripe and groan, mumble and moan. I use either a legal pad, or a thick, multi-subject notebooks like from high school. For computers, you can use the word processor available in your program.
• Write on Fire – Once you’ve chosen your method, write out the question/situation troubling you. Next, write as fast as you can without stopping, editing, or criticizing. Don’t censor your thoughts. This is for your eyes only. Turn your brain off and your hands on. Write anything to get started, like: I don’t know what to say. This is stupid. I hate this. It’s not working.
• Eventually, your brain will tire of your whining and start to focus on the problem. List all your negative feelings about the situation: How unfair it is. How angry you are. The sadness it brings up. Get everything out on paper. The more you write, the more the process is working.
• Hello, Fear. I’ve Been Expecting You – It may take pages and pages to vent all your anger, but underneath that rage, don’t be surprised to find good ol’ fashioned Fear. That’s Fear with a capital ‘F.’ Fear of failure. Fear of success. That’s Fear’s job. To keep us small and in our place. Status quo. To not let make positive changes. Write through the Fear.
• How to Get Unstuck – At some point, you’ll want to quit before you’ve reached a resolution. When you want to stop that’s GOOD! It means you’ve struck a nerve and are onto something important for yourself…a possible solution, maybe an idea, or perhaps a change in attitude. When you keep writing even when you don’t want to, you blast through the gripes and groans, then start to discover the answers you need.
• Write Until The End – This isn’t a timed exercise. I wish I could tell you how long it takes to find your answers, but life isn’t that simple. It may take 20 minutes, or it may take you all afternoon. The key is to stick with it until you start to form an action plan.

~~~

A problem well stated is a problem half solved.

Charles Kettering

~~~

Sam Cohen, father of 3 and faithful husband for over 40 years, unexpectedly drops dead one day. His lawyer informs his widow that Stu Schwartz, Sam’s best friend since childhood, is to be executor of the will. The day comes to divide Sam’s earthly possessions, over a million dollars’ worth. In front of Sam’s family, Stu reads the will:

“Stu, if you’re reading this, then I must be dead. You’ve were such a good friend for so long, how can I ignore you in this will? On the other hand, there are my beloved Sophie and my children to be looked after. Stu, I know you can make sure my family is taken care of properly. So Stu, give what you want to her and take the rest for yourself.” Stu then looks at the survivors and tells them that, in accordance with Sam’s instructions, Stu will give fifty thousand dollars to Sam’s widow. The rest he is retaining for himself.

The family is beside itself. “This is impossible! Forty years of marriage and then *this*?!  It can’t be!” So the family sues. Their day in court arrives, and after testimony from both sides, the judge gives his verdict: “To Stuart Schwartz, I award fifty thousand dollars of the contested money. The remainder shall go to Sophie Cohen, widow of the deceased.”

Needless to say, the family is elated, but Stu is dumbfound. “Your honor, how can you do this? The will made Sam’s wishes quite clear: ‘Give what you want to her and take the rest for yourself!’  I wanted the lion’s share! What gives?”

The judge answered back, “Mr. Schwartz, Sam Cohen knew you his whole life. He wanted to give you something in gratitude. He also wanted to see his family taken care of. So he drew up his will accordingly. But you misread his instructions. You see, Sam knew just what kind of a person you are, so with his family’s interest in mind, he didn’t say, “Give what you want to her and keep the rest for yourself.’  No. What Sam said was, “Give what YOU want to HER; and keep the rest for yourself.”

~~~

Sign spotted in a toilet in a London office block:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

~~~

Stan was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Stan answered. “I’d like to talk to your mother or father,” she said.

“Sorry, but they ain’t here.”

“Stan!” she said, “what is it with your grammar?”

“Beats me,” he replied, “but dad sure was mad that they had t’go bail her out again!”

~~~

“Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork involved when your house lands on a witch.”

Dave James

~~~

It seems like every time our piano tuner John comes to our house, he scolds me for waiting too long between tunings. I agree with him that it should be done every six months, but I don’t really think about it until the the piano sounds off-key. The last time he came over, I was on the defensive. “If you would send out a postcard reminder like the dentist,” I declared, “I would make sure to call you for an appointment in a timely fashion.”

Without hesitating, he replied, “From now on, when the dentist sends you a postcard, call me.”

~~~

Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning. 

Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Why worry?

If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

Don Herold

 

As you know there are a lot of things I don’t understand and one of the hardest for me is why so many people treat themselves so badly. These are the folks who agonize about things over which they have no control and events that have already happened that cannot be changed. If that is not bad enough these are usually the same people who fret and worry about what might happen in the future, things that almost never do happen.

I find that accepting reality without wasting time stewing over that what was, saves me time to move on to things I can influence. Luckily I always think good things will happen and they usually do, versus spending time on bad things that might happen but seldom do.

I’ll let you in on secret; it is a lot easier to sleep when your mind is not weighted down with negative thoughts. Here is a piece that I think is right on, those who follow its advice will be happier people.

 

Two Days We Should Not Worry About

 

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever.

 

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance; Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born.

 

This leaves only one day, Today. Any person can fight the battle of just one day.  It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad, it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, Live but one day at a time.

Author Unknown

~~~

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.

Leo Buscaglia

~~~

Her son came home and said, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is – I got 18 out of 20 on my driver’s test.”  I said, “Great! Now what’s the bad news?”

He said, “They were pedestrians.”

~~~

Conspiracy, We Must Stop This

      Have you ever noticed that when you’re of a certain age, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection……..Well, REALLY NOW……… even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You’re risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually “believe” the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon “everyone” will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has caused fonts to be smaller than they once were too!

~~~

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns to be amused rather than shocked.

Pearl S. Buck

~~~

The child was a typical four-year-old girl — cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.

“Now do you understand?” he asked.

“I think so,” she said, “is that when mommy came to work for us?”

~~~

“Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart”

~~~

NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them up into space. As the moment came closer NASA’s mission control center announced, “This is mission control to Monkey One. Initiate!” At that the first monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle’s engines ignited and the shuttle took off. Two hours later NASA’s mission control center announced, “This is mission control to Monkey Two. Initiate!” At that the second monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle separated from the empty fuel tanks. Another two hours later mission control announced, “This is mission control to the astronaut…” At this the astronaut responded “I know, I know. Feed the monkeys and don’t touch anything.”

~~~

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

~~~

An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a VERY LOUD VOICE the receptionist said, “YES, I SEE YOUR NAME HERE — YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE,  RIGHT?”

All of the patients in the waiting room snapped their head around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, “NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION — AND I’D LIKE THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”

~~~

I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal — and soon they’ll forget my number.

Edith Armstrong

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Are you happy?

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.

James Openheim

 

As you probably know by now I believe that happiness is as much our subjective view of our daily life as it is what goes on around us. If we start with a positive outlook we are half way to having a great day for we can build on that foundation by choosing to focus on how we can make our day even better. Me, I expect every day to be a good one and they almost always are. In fact I have banked so many good days that an occasional unpleasant day becomes only a temporary glitch.

Some time ago Marc Chernoff wrote a piece on the traits of happy people, here are some excerpts from the article:

 

Effective Ways Happy People Think

Feeling privileged and satisfied to be alive.

Time spent living is time worth appreciating.  You are able to see the sunrise and the sunset.  You are able to hear birds sing and waves crash.  You can walk outside and feel the breeze through your hair and the sun’s warmth on your skin.  When you make the most out of what you have it turns out being a lot more than you ever imagined.

Believing in the possibility of a better tomorrow.

What you believe determines who you become.  If the thoughts running through your mind are pure, positive and empowering, you will create positive and empowering beliefs about yourself and about life.  In turn, your actions, habits and daily routines will be a reflection of these thoughts and beliefs.

You have to believe that hope is stronger than fear.  That imagination is more influential than public opinion.  That dreams are more powerful than today’s reality.  That determination always triumphs over experience.  That laughter is the best cure for grief.  And above all, you have to believe that love is stronger than any negative force in the world.

Knowing deep down that every step is worth it.

Through every life experience, especially those that force you to look fear and adversity in the face, you will gain strength, courage and confidence.  Stop when you must, take a deep breath and say to yourself, “I am living through this and I am still OK.  I can take the next thing that comes my way.”

Every step and experience is what makes you the person you are now.  Without this experience, you are an empty page, a blank journal, an unsung lyric.  What makes you ALIVE is your willingness to live through today’s challenges and then hold your head up high tomorrow with hope and tenacity.

Appreciating the beauty in all the small things.

Rediscover the sensitivity of your childhood eyes.  The eyes that saw life as it is – a beautiful compilation of tiny lives, each lived one at a time like snapshots in a family photo album.  That saw beauty in flowers and rainbows and wild animals.  That marveled at fireflies and sunsets and starry nights.  That let you dream every instant with your eyes wide open.

Feeling good enough.

Believe in yourself!  Have faith in your abilities!  Without a humble and reasonable confidence in your own abilities you cannot be effective or happy.  Know that you are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and strong enough.  Do not derive your sense of self-worth from what you own, who you know, where you live or what you look like.  Your self-worth is a reflection of who YOU are and how YOU choose to live.

Embracing change.

Living a positive life hinges on your ability to accept the fact that everything is constantly moving forward, away from everything that previously existed.  Not only do you have to emotionally detach from the past, but you also have to willingly thrust yourself forward into the unknown.  You have to open yourself to trying new things, especially those that you may previously never have thought of doing, or had been too hesitant to attempt.  This is how you open doors of opportunity for positive growth.

~~~

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

Frederick Keonig

~~~

Myrddin had gotten a part time job at the Post Office and the supervisor there had been warned that he was somewhat of a dullard, but the supervisor took a liking to him and agreed to let Myrddin help him. If nothing else, he would be an extra set of hands. The supervisor gives Myrddin the job of sorting, and much to everyone’s surprise, Myrddin separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Myrddin at the end of the day.

“I just want you to know,” he said, “that we’re all very proud of you. You’re one of the fastest workers we have ever had.”

“Thank you,” said Myrddin, “and tomorrow I’ll try to do even better.”

“Better?” the supervisor asked with astonishment. “How can you possibly do better?”

Myrddin replied, “Tomorrow I am going to read the addresses.”

~~~

“Do You Want to Talk to the Man in Charge, or to the Woman Who Knows What’s Going On?”

~~~

“Take a pencil and paper,” the teacher said, “and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a Millionaire.’ ”

Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.

“What’s the matter,” the teacher asked. “Why don’t you begin?”

“I’m waiting for my secretary,” he replied.

~~~

“The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they share a common enemy.”

Sam Levenson

~~~

I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn’t help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant. “I’ll take care of it,” she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she had solved the problem by turning off all the lights.

A passenger across the aisle who had been watching me leaned over and said, “Whatever you do, please don’t ask about the engines.”

~~~

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

Mark Twain

~~~

A friend of mine was visiting a college which had those security call boxes every few hundred feet.  If you were wandering around the campus at night and felt uneasy about somebody following you, for instance, you could hit the button and have a security officer investigate immediately.

On one of these phones hung a sign that said, “Out of Order.”

Underneath it someone had scrawled, “Keep Running.”

~~~

Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.

William Feather

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

What do you see?

“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.”

Frances Hodgson Burnett

 

I know we have often talked about how important a positive attitude is to leading a happy and productive life. I often wonder if the reason chronic complainers fail is because of their constant blaming everything on bad luck, bad people and the like.

It is only recently that I have learned that attitude also often determines how we see the world and not just how we behave. I find that those with a negative attitude often cannot see all the good things around them. It is almost as if they can only see those things that reinforce their negative outlook.

The good news is that people can change if they want to. If things are mostly looking bad it is time to invest in building a new attitude. Here is what Dr. Ken Odiwé has offered for those who want to find more joy in life. I have had to do some editing but I kept his thoughts.

How to Get an A+ Attitude

This may not be the first time you have read or heard these words: “Your attitude determines your altitude.” Here are a few strategies for improving your attitude to score a grade of A+:

Picture a new you – Picture yourself in various situations where you haven’t been too pleased with your attitude or outward behavior. Say, for instance, you want to become more enthusiastic. Try imagining yourself in settings that would require that behavior-such as giving an oral report in a business luncheon or interviewing for a part-time or summer job-and envision yourself as positive and enthusiastic. What would you be saying? How would you be acting as the “new you”?

Feed yourself supportive self-talk – That’s right. Talk to yourself! Psychologists call this cognitive therapy. Identify your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Here are seven categories of self-put-downs to look out for:

• Exaggerated or catastrophic thoughts-”I didn’t have time to answer my angel investors question, so I probably would not get funding.”
• Absolutist thinking-I never dress right for business.”
• Jumping to the wrong conclusion-”The committee didn’t give me a tour of their plant, so I guess they already have decided not to do business with my company.”
• Incorrect assumptions-”I felt so nervous, I’ll bet everyone knew.”
• Discounting the positive-”I got a B on the strategic planning test, but it was marked on a curve.”
• Taking responsibility for something you didn’t cause-”It’s all my fault-I should have known you were leaving early and given you the letter.”
• Assigning negative labels to yourself-”I’m a born loser.”

If you find yourself using any of these self put-downs-stop. Think of all the positives about yourself!

Set up an action plan to strengthen any weaknesses in attitude – Read self-help books (for instance, on motivation).

Pretend you’re more positive than you are – Weak in confidence? Fake it. Smile, agree to do new things, talk about your accomplishments instead of your failures. Take a deep breath, and suggest a few interesting ideas. After a while, this new habit will retrain your brain to think more positively.

Find a role model – One of the best ways to shape a positive attitude is to emulate someone whose attitude and behavior you admire. This person can be famous or not famous, living or dead, smart or just average-as long as the person demonstrates a positive attitude. Look around you. A friend, a parent, a grandparent-any one of them could be a role model, not because they are famous or wealthy, but because they face each day with a positive attitude.

~~~

“There is a magnificent, beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you! It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labor of devotion and love! The colors are like no other, they swim and leap, they trickle and embellish! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the small fly which has landed on it! Why do you do such a thing?”

JoyBell

~~~

Mother: “Why are you home from school so early?”

Son: “I was the only one who could answer a question.”

Mother: “Oh, really? What was the question?

Son: “Who threw the eraser at the principal?”

~~~

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

~~~

I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years:

“When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance.”

“When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance.”

~~~

If all is not lost, where is it?

~~~

A man joined a big Multi-National Company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, “Get me a coffee, quickly!”

The voice from the other side responded, “You fool, you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?”

“No,” replied the trainee.

“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you fool!”

The trainee shouted back, “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?”

“No.” replied the Managing Director indignantly.

“Good!” replied the trainee and put down the phone.

~~~

Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?

~~~

When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks.  “Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?” she asked.

Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, “I’ll take them.”

Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me. “Can I have another pack?  This one’s been opened.”

~~~

An act of goodness surpasses a thousand prayers.

Sa’di

~~~

In a recent survey, 60 percent of respondents said the cities where they live is noisier now than they were five years ago.

The other 40 percent didn’t hear the question.

~~~

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.

Wade Boggs

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Sometimes you just have to let go

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.

Author Unknown

 

 Yesterday I suggested that as we age we need to make sure we stay in the game. Often that means we have to adjust to the reality of our capabilities as well participating in an ever changing world. I told a friend who is about to retire from a professional role he has had for many decades that I hope he finds the days ahead as rewarding as mine have been after I retired.

I have enjoyed doing things I never got to do during my working years; I also was surprised that I still had as many, if not more opportunities to make a difference. I think many of us get so stuck in our old way of life that we can’t seem to break away, and yet that is where the fun is. If every day seems the same with little chance to visit new opportunities then it is time to let go. It may not be easy but it is worth the effort, there is a lot out there but you have to go find it.

Here are some letting go thoughts that I copied from the Positive Thoughts blog that can help you move on.

Let Go …

Life is not about control or making things happen in the ways we think they should happen.  In fact, it’s rather arrogant for us to be on this planet that’s been here for so long and expect to be able to control life on it.  If we want to see changes, then our task is to set things in motion, not to micromanage and make them happen in the ways we think they should.  If we have something that is possessing us, such as alcohol or our television sets or our cell phones, then it could be time to let it go and move on with our lives.  If we’re holding on to resentment and anger, we’re simply raising our own stress levels and blood pressure, but we’re not contributing anything positive to the situation–and it’s time to let it go.

We have to decide if we’re going to spend our time fighting life, or living life.  Are we contributing to life, or are we telling life what we think it should do and be?  Are we at peace when life shows us something we didn’t expect, ready to deal with it on its own terms, or does such a thing knock us for a loop, making us fearful and upset?  Too many of our disappointments are caused by our own expectations, and until we can let go of those expectations, we can be sure that we’re going to experience many more stressful, difficult moments in life, moments that we’ve caused ourselves.

~~~

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.

Raymond Lindquist

~~~

One of the world’s greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor.  One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket.  The conductor said, “Take it easy.  You’ll find it.”

When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn’t find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, “I’m sure you bought a ticket.  Forget about it.”

“You’re very kind,” the professor said, “but I must find it, otherwise I won’t know where to get off.”

~~~

“An old timer is a man who’s had a lot of interesting experiences — some of them true.”

~~~

When a physician remarked on a new patient’s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, “High blood pressure, Doc.  It comes from my family.”

“Your mother’s side or your father’s?” the doctor asked.

“Neither,” he replied.  “It’s from my wife’s family.”

“Oh, come now,” the doctor said.  “How could your wife’s family give you high blood pressure?”

He sighed.  “You oughta meet ’em sometime, Doc!”

~~~

“Any husband who says, ‘My wife and I are completely equal partners,’  is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.”

Bill Cosby

~~~

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody- or-other had printed it.

“Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector.

“Yes, that was it!”

“You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!”

“Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much,” replied the man. “It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin Luther.”

~~~

“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.”

Milton Berle

~~~

A salesman from another country was making a pitch to the furniture buyer of a Glasgow department store. “And if you carry our new line of dining suites, I’ll have the pleasure of presenting you personally with a case of fine wine,” the sales-man said.

“Oh, we’re not allowed to accept gifts,” said the buyer, “that would be a form of bribery.”

“I’ll tell you what,” said the salesman, “just to keep it all above board, I’ll sell you the wine.”

“How much for?”

“Say, a pound a case.”

“Oh, well,” said the buyer, writing out the purchase order, “at that price, I’ll take two cases.”

~~~

“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”

1. W. C. Fields

~~~

A guy walked into his friend’s office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. “Hey, what’s up with you?” he asks.

“Oh, its my wife,” replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me.”

“Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?”

“Neither, He’s bald.”

~~~

A computer expert is someone who can tell you logically why he doesn’t know what to do about your problem.

~~~

An airline customer-service agent got a call from a woman who wanted to know if she could take her dog on board.

He told her the dog was welcome, as long as she paid a $50 charge and provided her own kennel. He further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around and roll over.

“I’ll never be able to teach him all that by tomorrow!” she said, and hung up.

~~~

“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”

JoyBell

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.