Ray's musings and humor

Archive for June, 2015

Today can be a good day if you let it

Live life to the fullest, and focus on the positive.

Matt Cameron

! 0000000 be-positive

The comment I get most from the readers of the Daily is that they appreciate that the tenor of what they find is generally positive. It is not that I feel excessively optimistic always, it is just that I find little use in dwelling on the negatives, especially when there is nothing I can do change what is.

I totally subscribe to the old adage that it is useless to cry over spilt milk, especially since getting another bottle is little more than an inconvenience. Each of us has the capacity to adjust to deal with the challenges we find in our lives but things won’t get better unless we are willing to adjust. Here is an edited article that I got from an internet blog that suggests how we can become more positive. I am sorry I don’t know who wrote it

5 Ways Of Finding Positivity In Times Of Trial

I would consider myself a positive person — I like to look for the good in everything. But when life gets hard, staying positive becomes a challenge. Problems come in all shapes and sizes and no one person’s are more important than another’s. Though your emotions can’t turn on a dime and it’s unhealthy to push down what you’re really feeling, the following five points have helped me remain positive through challenging times:

Adjust your perspective: When times get tough it’s easy to sink into negativity and dwell on the unfortunate circumstances. When I lost someone close to me, I grieved and would find myself thinking only of how much I was going to miss them in my life. Yes, grieving is very healthy and necessary but I decided to change my perspective and begin to think of all of the beautiful memories we shared and how they shaped my life. You can also change your perspective by seeking solutions and taking calculated risks; if you can identify the problem, you will likely find a solution. For example, when I moved to NYC I battled times of loneliness, which would often lead to negative thoughts. I would combat them by taking risks: Attending music shows or exploring museums by myself, not to necessarily meet anyone, but to simply change my perspective. Have faith that changing the way you look at tough situations will lead to more positivity in your life.

Do something nice for someone else: There really is no better feeling than doing something kind for another person. Giving to others is a surefire way for me stay positive in challenging times. There are many different ways to extend yourself to those around you: Start with a simple “hello” or smile at a stranger, lend an ear without judgement to a friend, bring coffee to your co-workers on Monday morning. You’ll be amazed at how giving and helping others really actually helps you.

Notice, capture, and release negative thoughts: My dad once taught me that recognizing negative thoughts is half the battle. The other half is choosing to release those thoughts. As humans, it’s easy to dwell in negativity but once you notice yourself thinking poorly, you have a choice to capture that thought, release it, and choose a positive one. It’s a difficult thing and one that will take practice but I guarantee that you are strong enough to choose positive thoughts.

Do what you love! In times of trouble, don’t forget what you love to do and go do it! If you love music, turn it up! Get outside and hike, breathe the fresh air and look at the beauty around you! If you’re an active person, then by all means go take a run… dance… surf. When you get back to doing the things you love, your spirit is lifted and you radiate positivity.

Don’t be too hard on yourself: Unreasonable expectations can take a toll on your mindset. It’s important to give yourself a break sometimes. Forgiving others is an important aspect to staying positive but don’t forget to forgive yourself too!

~~~

You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.

Joyce Meyer

~~~

Four-year-old Little Johnny asked, “Mummy, where do babies come from?

“The stork, dear.” replied Johnny’s Mom.

“Mummy, who keeps bad people from robbing our house?” Asked Little Johnny.

Johnny’s mother answer, “The police, dear.”

“Mummy, if our house was on fire, who would save us?”

“The fire department, dear.”

“Mummy, where does food come from?”

“Farmers, dear.”

“Mummy?”

“Yes, dear?”

“What do we need Daddy for?”

~~~

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

~~~

Two senior ladies met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, “You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well planned life?”

“Oh yes,” said her friend.. “My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I’m married to an undertaker.”

Her friend asked, “What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?”

“One for the money, two for the show. three to get ready and four to go”

~~~

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

~~~

A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, “I suppose you will want some identification.”

He replied, without hesitation, “No ma’am, that won’t be necessary.”

“How come?” asked the woman.

“Crooks don’t buy peat moss.” answered the clerk.

~~~

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

~~~

In the maternity ward of a hospital, new-born girl baby looks over at new-born boy baby and asks, “Are you a girl baby or a boy baby?”

The boy baby quickly chirps up, “I’m a boy baby!”

“How can you tell?” asks girl baby.

“Easy,” says boy baby. And, with that, he threw off the blankets, hoisted up his itty-bitty night-shirt and proudly pointed downward. “See…..blue booties”

~~~

Some people hate getting out of bed. I enjoy it. I do it 3-4 times a day.

~~~

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off when a salesman runs up to him and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!”

The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is it”?

“It’s a special golf ball,” says the salesman. “You can never lose it!”

“Whattaya mean,” scoffs the golfer, “you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water”?

“No problem,” says the salesman. “It floats, it detects where the shore is and spins towards it.”

“Well, what if you hit it into the woods”?

“Easy,” says the salesman. “It emits a beeping sound and you can find it with your eyes closed.”

“Okay,” says the golfer, impressed. “But what if your round goes late and it gets dark”?

“No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I’m telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!”

The golfer buys it at once. “Just one question,” he says to the salesman. “Where did you get it”?

“I found it.”

~~~

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.”

Dennis P. Kimbro

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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Life goes on

Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.

Soren Kierkegaard

! 0000000 reality-sign

As I reported earlier the Kiwanis International 100th Anniversary convention was held in my city last week. It was a five day event filled with learning, service and entertainment opportunities. The convention included representatives of all the Kiwanis family of clubs from the youth clubs to the clubs serving the retired. Unfortunately some of the activities were limited due to the rain that has been plaguing our city recently, in fact I was wondering if we should not have had an arc building service project since even more is on the way in the days ahead.

This was an event I was looking forward to for months. Not only was I going to get an update on the good works being done around the globe, I was also going to renew old friendships with Kiwanis leaders, folks I had served with when I was on staff working with our members and UNICEF on our organizations first worldwide service project that has been called one of the greatest public health successes of all time.

Unfortunately my body was not up to the task and I had to leave the convention after spending only a few hours on Thursday after attending three short sessions. The long walk from the place I had to park to the convention exhibit area had taken its toll. At 11 AM I was already worn out and had to slowly return to my car and go home to bed. I only got to see a few of my old friends and missed many more. I received a number of e-mails wondering where I was but a scheduled medical procedure and low energy kept me from any other Kiwanis activities. It worked out that with my registration fees and a few other convention related expenses I paid more than three hundred dollars to not get to see everyone I wanted to meet.

I have discovered as we age we must learn to live with our own realities. While I was disappointed that things did not work out as I had planned, I did get to put in an appearance, I did get to greet some valued old friends and I was able to go when so many of my contemporaries have passed on or are too infirm to do much. So life goes on as it always does, the world did not end and my day to day life continues to satisfy and that isn’t bad.

~~~

Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.

Nikos Kazantzakis

~~~

“Money”

It can buy a House   But not a Home

It can buy a Bed   But not Sleep

It can buy a Clock   But not Time

It can buy you a Book   But not Knowledge

It can buy you a Position   But not Respect

It can buy you Medicine   But not Health

It can buy you Blood   But not Life

It can buy you Sex   But not Love

So you see, money isn’t everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend. I am your Friend, and as your Friend, I want to take away your pain and suffering… So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.

~~~

Your temper is one of your most valuable possessions. Don’t lose it.

~~~

George set out on a very windy night to see his friend Sam, who was sick in bed. Hours later, George dragged his weary body into Sam’s house, and collapsed on the couch, exhausted. “I’ll tell you,” George said, when he had caught his breath, “it was just brutal. For every step I took forward, I fell back two.”

“So how did you ever make it over here?” Sam asked.

“Well,” George replied, “after a while I decided to give up, so I turned around and headed for home.”

~~~

I miss our phone calls. But it seems like ever since you got Caller ID you’re never home.

~~~

She said, you know it’s a bad date when:

You order a Double Whopper and he says, “Hey, my name ain’t Rockefeller, honey!”

You’ve never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm.

Your dinner reservations are under, “Loser, party of 2.”

Calls to tell you he’ll pick you up, just as soon as the stand off with the police is over.

He’s been on Jerry Springer, twice.

~~~

“Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.”

Mark Twain

~~~

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his cola, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside.

One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on.  The other man came along behind and filled in the hole.  While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old.  The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road.

“I can’t stand this,” said the man, tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.

“Hold it, hold it,” he said to the men. “Can you tell me what’s going on here with this digging?”

“Well, we work for the county,” one of the men said.

“But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You’re not accomplishing anything.  Aren’t you wasting the county’s money?”

“You don’t understand, mister,” one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow.

“Normally there’s three of us …  me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back.  Now just because Rodney’s sick, that don’t mean that Mike and me can’t work.”

~~~

Life’s golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.

~~~

A woman went to doctors office.  She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.  An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained.

He had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, “What’s the matter with you?  Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was *pregnant*?”

The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.  “Cured her hiccups though, didn’t I?

~~~

In a fight between you and the world, back the world.

~~~

At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

“Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”

Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single!

~~~

There’s no remaking reality… Just take it as it comes. Hold your ground and take it as it comes. There’s no other way.

PHILIP ROTH

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

I wish I could have done better

Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.”

! 0000000 crushing-disappointment

I am somewhat disappointed that my Kiwanis International Convention plan has not worked the way I wanted it to. While I knew I did not have the stamina to participate in many of the activities, especially the night time events, I did think I could handle being there all day yesterday but I was wrong.

My primary goal was to say hello to a number of the Internationals leaders who I had worked with over the years as this would be my last chance to see them. By the time I parked yesterday morning and walked to the convention centers main hall I was already worn out. I did attend three short sessions in the morning and did see some of the people I had hoped to visit with, but I missed a lot more. My plan was to eat lunch and then attend some more sessions in the afternoon hoping to see some more friends and to visit with a Washington Government relations friend that was flying in later in the day.

I was totally fatigued as I worked my way to lunch and had to abort my plan for the day and drive home. When I got home I fell asleep for three hours.

I am going to try to go down again this morning early but I will not be able to stay long as I have to report to the hospital by midday for my weekly intravenous pumping of iron into my system. I will not be available any other time this week so today will be my last chance to thank the folks who have helped make the world a better place before they leave.

This all will provide me another chance to demonstrate my ability to handle disappointment. I will have seen some I wanted to see, the world won’t end and life will go on. One of the lessons I have learned in recent years is that things often don’t go the way we want them to, but we can pick ourselves up and go on. This I will do again and I can always revisit the memories of times with my friends so they will always remain appreciated in my mind.

Friendships

Friends will

Come and friends

Will go.

 

The seasons

Change and it

Will show.

 

I will age and so will

You.

 

But our

Friendship stays

Strong and true.

~~~

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.

Robert Kiyosaki

~~~

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.  His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, “That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!”

~~~

You’re getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

~~~

A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, “Jack, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?”

To which Jack replied, “The holes are numbered!”

~~~

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

~~~

Sadie and Yetta, two widows, are talking:

Sadie: “That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.”

Yetta: “Vell…. I’ll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctual like a clock. And like such a mensch he is dressed. Fine suit, wonderful lining. And he brings me such beautiful flowers you could die from. Then he takes me downstairs, and what’s there but such a beautiful car…..a limousine even, uniformed chauffeur and all.

Then he takes me out for a dinner…Marvelous dinner. Lobster even. Then we go see a show….let me tell you Sadie, I enjoyed it so much I could just die from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and into an ANIMAL he turns. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!”

Sadie: “Oy! Vey.so you are telling me I shouldn’t go out with him?”

Yetta: “No… I’m just saying, wear an old dress.”

~~~

There’s a wonder in the way we’re always free. To change the world by changing how we see.

~~~

An artist was traveling in New Hampshire in search of a scenic spot for a vacation. He stopped in a roadside store and asked a farmer about the place. “Is there any interesting scenery up your way?” he asked.

“Not much,” the farmer said. “Across the road you can see our neighbor’s barn, but beyond that you can’t see anything but mountains for 30 miles!”

~~~

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.

Gilda Radner

~~~

One day a farmer died.  His elderly widow was always bedridden and very depressed.  Their son tried everything he could think of to cheer her up but nothing worked.   He spoke to the doctor and was told a shot of whiskey would perk her up some and should be given to her nightly. This would make it easier for her to sleep at night and should make her better humored each day that passed.

But the son knew his mother didn’t believe in liquor. So the doctor told him to put it in her food or drink. So the boy went home and put the whiskey in her milk. That night she slept like a baby and woke up feeling wonderful.  Each evening she had her shot of whiskey and milk and woke the following morning feeling more and more cheerful.

When the boy suggested one day that they sell the farm and move closer to the city, his mother said, “Son, you can do anything you want to, but DON’T SELL THAT COW!”

~~~

“If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.”

Will Rogers

~~~

“You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It wont happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”

Joel Osteen

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Thank you UNICEF

I feel that the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life is to be associated with UNICEF.

Danny Kaye

! 0000000 James Kiberd

James Kiberd

I am off to the Kiwanis International Convention early this morning so I am again sending you a Daily from years past. Hopefully I will generate a new one tomorrow as I will have to skip the convention for some medical stuff. Ray

Ray’s Daily first published on June 25, 2001

I just learned from my friend Susan Keith, that her husband James Kiberd is putting aside his brushes and palette for a week or so to temporarily replace a major character on “As The World Turns” (the show that won Best Show and lots of other Emmys this year). James will play “Hal Munson”, a cop with a dry sense of humor. After all the time James played Detective Trevor Dillon this will be a cakewalk. With James’ art exhibits, theatre, and TV work he still donates all kinds of time and effort to children. He has been a great friend of UNICEF and Kiwanis. I have enjoyed the time we have spent together in support of the UNICEF/Kiwanis global project. For all you fans, I will let you know when the episodes will air as soon as I hear.

~~~

Lewis provides us some additional wisdom:

  • Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going to need them to empty your bed urinal and hold your hand.
  • Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.
  • Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect, it just means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.

~~~

It’s a proven fact that zipping up a small child’s snowsuit will cause him/her to wet her pants.  There is no known cure for this.

~~~

Signs You’re Broke

American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!”

Long distance companies don’t call you to switch.

You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

You give blood everyday…just for the orange juice.

McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

~~~

Give a man a fish and he eats for one day. Teach a man how to fish and he’s gone every weekend!

~~~

Some answering machine favorites:

“I can’t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don’t remember.  I’d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.  Thanks.”

“Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.   We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.”

“You know what I hate about answering machine messages?  They go on and on and on and on, wasting your time.   I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in, leave a message.”   That’s why I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short.  I pledge to you, my caller that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me…”

“Hello, this is Douglas.  I’m not home right now, but I can take a message.  Hang on a second while I get a pencil.”  (background noise –open a drawer and shuffle stuff around)  “Okay, what would you like me to tell me?”

~~~

When my grown children complain about the way they were raised, I always tell them that we did the best we could with what we had to work with.

~~~

After a long day on the course, the exasperated golfer turned to his caddie and said, “You must be the absolute worst caddie in the world.”

“No, I don’t think so,” said the caddie.

“That would be too much of a coincidence.”

~~~

Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn’t mind letting her boyfriend know it, too. “A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry,” she told him.

“Really?” asked the boyfriend, “And just how many men are you intending to marry?”

~~~

There are bigger things in life than money — bills, for instance.

~~~

Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard. His wife ran over sobbing, “Benny! Benny, what happened?!”

“Madam, please don’t get hysterical,” said the lifeguard.

“I’m just going to give your husband some artificial respiration and he’ll be fine.”

“What!” Mrs. Cohen yelled. “My Benny gets either real respiration or nothing at all.”

~~~

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re in need of improvement.

~~~

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.  “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?” asked the husband.

“He said the reflector is broken,” replied the Amish lady.

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?” asked the husband.

The wife replied, “I’m not sure, Jacob . . . Something about the emergency brake.”

~~~

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I’m also not blonde. -Dolly Parton

~~~

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend.

“I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?”

“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely. “In fact, there are three doctors there already!”

~~~

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

The true measurement of success is the quality of the friendships you make

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Helen Keller

! 0000000 old-friendship

As I reported yesterday Kiwanis Members from all over the world are gathering in Indianapolis this week for our annual convention. There will be a lot of celebrating since it is the organizations 100th anniversary but there will also be a lot of work done. Members of all ages from the various Kiwanis youth and adult clubs will donate time and energy to help make our city a little brighter. They also will feed and entertain many of my fellow citizens during a couple of public events.

But of greater importance will be their planning and commitment to continue to serve the children of the world through service. Millions of kids lead better and healthy lives because of what Kiwanians in all parts of the world have done to meet the needs of children.

Unfortunately I don’t move as fast as I once did and health problems have frequently restricted my activities of late requiring me to sit on the sidelines and cheer for my fellow members as they do good work. What I will be able to do this week though is to renew old friendships. When I was on the Kiwanis International staff and I had the good fortune to work with folks all over the globe, people who became friends. I cannot overstate how much I have appreciated them all and how much I look forward to seeing many again.

Here is a story that could have been written about me. I don’t know who wrote it but I like it.

Old Friends Forever

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avant garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost friend… I will.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore.

I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

~~~

True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island… to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.

Baltasar Gracian

~~~

A fine funeral was ordered for a woman who had henpecked her husband, driven her kids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightest opportunity, and even made neurotics of the cat and dog with her explosive temper. As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor’s benediction was drowned out by a blinding flash of lightning, followed by terrific thunder.

“Well,” commented one of the mourners, “sounds like she got where she was going.”

~~~

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth.  On the back it said, “Wish you were here.”

Steven Wright

~~~

When visiting the senior center I heard him say:

I’m the life of the party……  even if it lasts until 8 p.m.

I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.

I’m very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over…

I’m aware that other people’s grandchildren are not nearly as cute as mine.

I’m so cared for — long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

I’m not really grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, Toyota commercials, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can’t seem to remember right now.

I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a safe secure place, …somewhere.

I’m having trouble remembering simple words like…….

And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?

I’m a walking storeroom of facts…..  I’ve just lost the key to the storeroom door.

~~~

I heard that there is a sign taped to the women’s room mirror at my old office that reads:

“Objects in this mirror are MUCH prettier than they appear.”

~~~

He said: One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a church in our community. It was common for the preacher to invite the children to the front of the church and have a small lesson before beginning the sermon. He would bring in an item they could find around the house and relate it to a teaching from the Bible. This particular morning, the visual aid for his lesson was a smoke detector. He asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector.

My child immediately raised his hand and said, “It means Daddy’s cooking dinner.”

~~~

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Damn…that was fun!”

~~~

Coming out of church, Mrs. Peterson asked her husband, “Do you think that Johnson girl is tinting her hair?”

“I didn’t even see her,” admitted Mr. Peterson.

“And that dress Mrs. Hansen was wearing,” continued Mrs. Peterson, “Really, don’t tell me you think that’s the proper costume for a mother of two.”

“I’m afraid I didn’t notice that either,” said Mr. Peterson.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” snapped Mrs. Peterson.  “A lot of good it does you to go to church.”

~~~

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.

Henri Nouwen

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

It is a one hundred year old birthday party

“It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.”

Robert H. Goddard

! 000000 100 years

This is the week that Kiwanis International will celebrate 100 years of worldwide service at its annual convention which will be held here in Indianapolis. Thousands of Kiwanis family members have started to arrive from all over the world. The activities will take place day and night until the weekend. Many events will be open to the public so they can participate in our celebration.

I will be attending what I can. Tomorrow I have a mid-morning seminar that I have to attend but then I will go down to the convention center and register. I hope to get to see old friends and colleagues that I met when I was the staff director of Kiwanis’ first Worldwide Service Project years ago. While my limitations will keep my from much of the activities I do hope to attend a number of presentations on Thursday. Friday I will be getting my weekly Iron Infusion at the hospital so I am not sure what I will be able to do that day.

I do have some other obligations as well but many of my fellow club members will be working at the convention as well as attending the functions and workshops, so our club’s interests will be in good hands. I do plan on publishing the Daily the rest of the week unless I get bogged down.

In case you are not aware of what Kiwanis is doing these days here is a short piece to bring you up to date.

Kiwanis 100 History

Our global impact

As Kiwanis grew during its first century, so did its reach and its capacity to affect massive change. The transformation has been staggering. In 1916, a year after its founding, Kiwanis boasted only three clubs and roughly 500 members. Today there are some 600,000 members in our Kiwanis family, with clubs in 80 nations.

Those clubs and members address the unique concerns of their own areas, while tackling global issues as well. Kiwanians annually stage roughly 150,000 service projects, raise approximately US$100 million and contribute more than 6 million service hours. But those numbers become even more impressive when combined with the work of Kiwanis affiliate organizations. For instance, Key Club kicks in 12 million hours of service yearly, Circle K 500,000 and Aktion Club members another 92,000.

Over the decades, the old Kiwanis motto “We Build” aptly described the organization’s charity efforts, from providing vital assistance during the Great Depression to combating voter apathy in the 1950s. Today, under a new motto, “Serving the Children of the World,” Kiwanians help the planet’s youngest residents on an unprecedented scale. Working with UNICEF, Kiwanis helped establish programs to battle iodine deficiency disorders (IDD), one of the leading causes of preventable mental retardation. Members and clubs contributed and generated some US$100 million to this project, playing a key role in eliminating the disorders.

Today Kiwanians have set their sights even higher, via The Eliminate Project—a program, again in conjunction with UNICEF, to eliminate maternal and neonatal tetanus. By raising US$110 million, Kiwanis aims to end this painful and deadly disease by the end of our anniversary year of 2015, potentially saving some 129 million mothers and babies.

What will the next century bring? No one can say for sure. But if the last 100 years is any measure, the ensuing decades will be filled with acts of kindness and charity both small and large. Some will alter the trajectory of a single young life. Others that will change the fate of millions.

~~~

The Kiwanis does worldwide community service and our little local club decided to do our share. We started collecting food and clothing and other nonperishables and we took it upon ourselves to find a driver and rent a truck.

David Hopper

~~~

A man traveling by train asks the ticket collector what time the train stops at Victoria. “Sir, we don’t stop at Victoria.”

“But I have to get off there!”

“Sorry sir, we don’t stop at Victoria”

“But you don’t understand, I have a VERY important meeting in Victoria. I *MUST* get off there!”

“Well, there might be one thing I can do. I might be able to get the engineer to slow down the train a little. Then I can dangle you out the door and lower you onto the platform.”

“Will that work?”

“It’s worth a try.”

As they approached the platform, the train is slowing from 50 MPH. The collector hangs the man in mid-air out the door. The man starts running in mid-air. “Run faster! Faster!” He lowers the man and the man’s feet touch the platform. His shoes start to smoke! His heel comes off! He’s running at 30 MPH. He’s made it! He starts to slow down! The other passengers stare in amazement. As the last car goes by, a hand grabs the man by the shirt collar and lifts him right back into the train! As he’s helped back on the train the gent who picked him up says, “Man you’re lucky I was here to help! This train doesn’t even STOP in Victoria!”

~~~

“It isn’t where you came from; it’s where you’re going that counts.”

Ella Fitzgerald

~~~

The helicopter lost power while flying over a remote Scottish island and was forced to make an emergency landing.  Luckily the pilot saw a small cottage nearby.  He walked to it and knocked on the door.  “Is there a mechanic in the area?” he asked the woman who answered the door.

She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds.

“No,” she finally said, pointing down the road, “but we do have a McArdle and a McKay.”

~~~

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said.

~~~

The new family in the neighborhood overslept, and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus. The father, though already late for work, had to drive her himself, but he told her she’d have to direct him to the school. They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, and then several more blocks before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes – but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home. The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she’d led him around in such a big circle. The child explained,

“That’s the way the school bus goes, daddy. It’s the only way I know how to get to my school.”

~~~

I live in my own little world. But it’s OK. They know me here.

~~~

No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice. “Find a girl just like your mother — then, she’s bound to like her.” So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser:

“Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like my mother; and just as you said, my mother liked her”.

“So,” asked the friend, “what happened?”

“Nothing,” said the young man.  “My father hates her.”

~~~

Find new ways to get to know people in your community. Connect with others—and get involved in projects that change lives. Kiwanis is all about making friends—and making an impact—in your local community so you’ve come to the right place.

http://www.kiwanis.org/kiwanis/about-kiwanis/engage

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Are you really you?

Some people like you, some people don’t. In the end you just have to be yourself.

Andres Iniesta

! 000000 beyourself

If you have been reading my Daily for very long you have heard me write that I am who I am and this is as good as I get. We can be friends or not it is your choice. You see I learned some time ago that if I tried being someone I am not I didn’t develop the kind of true friendships that develop from just being who I really am versus pretending to be someone else.

It is so much better to accept a friendship from someone who appreciated who you really are rather than a facade that his your true self. Here is an edited article that offers the opportunity for some of us to rethink how we treat ourselves.

YOUR INNER CRITIC Vs. YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF

By Doris Helge, Ph.D.

Have you ever said “Yes” when you wanted to say “No?” Are you ever angry because your needs are ignored? Your self-esteem will soar when you stop being who you think you “should be” and become the shining star you truly are. The world is starved for your unique talents, so it’s essential that you manage your inner critic.

YOUR INNER CRITIC STRUGGLES TO PLEASE OTHER PEOPLE

People pleasing is a reliable recipe for failure. Even if we please the other person, when we aren’t living our truth and meeting our own needs, we only gain conditional approval that can be withdrawn if we ever show our True Self. Sooner or later, usually at a very inconvenient time, our fake façade will be exposed.

People pleasing is born from insecurity and lack of self-respect. We waste time and energy struggling to squash our True Self into an unforgiving box that suffocates our Soul.

HOW TO EMPOWER YOURSELF WITH CONFIDENCE

Only when we’re true to ourselves do we radiate a confidence that other people respect, even if they don’t want to be best buddies because we don’t resonate with them.

Which of these two choices is yours?

  • Struggle to Please Other People. This option will zap your energy and destroy your self-esteem and peace of mind. You’ll struggle to maintain fragile friendships built on the lies of inauthenticity. You’ll constantly try to guess which direction to tilt each time a brisk wind blows.
  • Be Your Authentic Self. You’ll enjoy genuine relationships built on honesty and the courage to be vulnerable. The beautiful audios playing in the back of your mind will be confidently crooning, “This is who I am, world. I love myself too much to try to be who I’m not.” When you make this choice, you replace fear, inner conflict and self-sabotage with self-love and higher self-esteem.

Here’s a secret that will cause you to breathe a big sigh of relief. The people whose opinions you’ve been so concerned about are so busy judging themselves that they don’t have the time or energy to judge you.

BE YOU

No one else is qualified. Also, no one else deserves the special honor that your unique DNA has uniquely qualified you to enjoy. The more authentic you are, the more you’ll genuinely and easily connect with other people. You’ll enjoy loving, supportive personal and professional relationships that produce endless growth and joy.

Until you have the courage to stop hiding Your True Self under the veil of who you think you’re supposed to be, your light will be so dim that you’ll never grasp how brilliant you are. Once you decide to be genuine, the special light that only you can shine will shimmer with a radiance that will amaze you.

The first step is to manage your inner critic, the critical internal voice that tries to curb your personal growth with critical comments like, “You’re not good enough,” and “It’s not safe to show people Your Authentic Self.” Gain the joy of personal empowerment and happiness by discovering how to conquer your inner critic. 

~~~

“Be yourself- not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.”

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

A man went to see his doctor because his hands kept shaking.

“Do you drink much?” asked the doctor.

“No,” said the man. “I spill most of it”.

~~~

“I’m all in favor of free expression provided it’s kept rigidly under control.

Alan Bennett

~~~

A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, “You know, honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son.”

“Well, thank heaven,” said the wife, “at least our James has nothing standing in his way.”

~~~

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Mark Twain

~~~

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial-it went like this:

Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?

A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q: Officer, who provided this description?

A: The officer who responded to the scene.

Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.

Do you trust your fellow officers?

A: Yes sir, with my life.

Q: With your life?  Let me ask you this then officer-do you have a locker room in the police station-a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?

A: Yes sir, we do.

Q: And do you have a locker in that room?

A: Yes sir, I do.

Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?

A: Yes sir.

Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?

A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.

~~~

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

~~~

A man goes to a fortune teller to seek his fortune. The fortune teller says, “You are the Father of two children.”

The Father laughed and said, “That’s what you think, I’m the Father of three.”

The fortune teller laughed and said, “Nope.  That’s what you think.”

~~~

You have a unique gift to offer this world. Be true to yourself, be kind to yourself, read and learn about everything that interests you and keep away from people who bring you down. When you treat yourself kindly and respect the uniqueness of those around you, you will be giving this world an amazing gift… YOU!

Steve Maraboli

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

This is it, enjoy it.

The trick is to enjoy life. Don’t wish away your days, waiting for better ones ahead.

Marjorie Pay Hinckley

! 000000 enjoy-life

I am running behind today as I was yesterday. In fact I never got to the gym yesterday so in order not to be beaten by my exercise coach I must go this morning. Then it is another one of those days with an early doctor’s appointment followed by an early afternoon visit to the hospital where I will spend an hour or so in a recliner as they pump liquid iron into my blood stream.

Since I have to run I am going to share with you a piece I was sent some time ago. It is loaded with wisdom. If I sent it to you before a refresher is always good.

Words of wisdom:  I’ve learned that ……

  • I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
  • I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back
  • I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
  • I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
  • I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.
  • I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it.
  • I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.
  • I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
  • I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
  • I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
  • I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
  • I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
  • I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
  • I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
  • I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
  • I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
  • I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
  • I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.
  • I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
  • I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

Author Unknown

~~~

Let life be an adventure. Live your life to the fullest, unfettered by fear of the ghosts and goblins of what might occur. Calamity and death happen as well to those who hide from life as to those who squeeze every drop of zest from it.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

~~~

Teacher: Desmond, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?

Desmond: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!

~~~

WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.

~~~

He had been experiencing chronic problems with back pain, so he visited his doctor.

The good doctor, after giving him a thorough examination, said grimly, “I am sorry to have to say this, but if you want to get well again you would have to lose a foot.”

“What!” I exclaimed. “You mean my foot has to be amputated?”

“Oh, no, no!” replied the good doctor, vociferously. “I mean you have to lose a foot from around your waistline!”

~~~

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.” How do you know what to say?” he asked. “Why, God tells me”, the farther replied. “Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?”

~~~

I have learned when I visited Florida that:

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

~~~

The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?” “No sir,” little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to. My Mom is a good cook.”

~~~

Sam and Gilda Shapiro are having marriage problems. After counseling with their rabbi they decide to just end their union.  After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asks the husband, “What has brought you to the point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?”

The husband says, “In the six weeks we’ve been back together, we haven’t been able to agree on one thing.”

The wife interjects, “Seven weeks, your honor!”

~~~

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application.

~~~

“I had the strangest dream last night,” a man was telling his psychiatrist. “I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. And you can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact I woke up immediately, and couldn’t get back to sleep. “I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought maybe you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream.”

The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: “A Coke? You call that a breakfast?”

~~~

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Did you hear what they said?

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.

Bryant H. McGill

! 000000 listen-2

One of the great things that took place during my career with the Sperry Corporation years ago was a program that they had developed to train both our employees and the public on how to be better listeners. It was a highly regarded program that I was able to offer to a wide variety of Indiana leaders.

I now feel I need a refresher as I am either not listening very well or my memory and hearing loss is doing me in. Lately I find that if I don’t pay rapt attention to what is being said it goes in one ear and out the other without loading my memory bank. So I was glad when in my wanderings I stumbled across a piece written by Elizabeth Bernstein entitled How Well Are You Listening? Here in part is what she offered as edited by Gretchen Rubin.

Tips for Becoming a Better Listener

  1. Look for hints that a person wants to talk — and signal your willingness to listen. My husband rarely wants to “talk,” but when he does, I put my book down flat in my lap, to show that I’m paying close attention (and to prevent myself from sneaking a look at the page).
  2. Let the other person explain what’s on his or her mind. Acknowledge the reality of someone else’s feelings. For me, this is a key step. When I started to acknowledge the reality of other people’s feelings, especially the negative feelings of my children, I saw a major improvement in communication. I remind myself: don’t deny feelings like anger, irritation, fear, or reluctance; instead, articulate the other person’s point of view. “You don’t feel like going.” “You’re bored.” “Usually, you enjoy this, but right now you’re not in the mood.” This is harder than it sounds.
  3. Encourage the person to elaborate by asking about open-ended questions, making listening noises (turns out these are called “minimal encouragers”), sitting in a way that shows attentiveness, making eye contact.
  4. Paraphrase what someone said, to show that you’ve understood his or her point. I found over the years that this was my most important listening skill. On occasion it allowed me to correct something I misunderstood and always put both myself and the other person on the same page. Ray
  5. Ask questions and listen to try to help work on a possible solution — but don’t rush to fix things.

~~~

There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak.

Simon Sinek

~~~

Heard on the answering machine

Hellooo….Hellloooo, well if you won’t talk to me maybe you’ll talk to this machine, it’s at home and I’m not, leave a message and it’ll give it to me when I return.

Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can’t come to the phone right now. He’s either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your name and number after the beep and he will return your call.

Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

Hello, this is Susan. I don’t live here, so if you were trying to call me, you’ve dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don’t guarantee that one of them will call you back — only that I won’t.

~~~

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

~~~

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.  Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap- tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, “You scared us half to death — we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”

“Those fools!” the old man grumbled.  “They misspelled my name!”

~~~

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

~~~

What Your Baby Would Tell You

On life’s pleasures:

I have my blankie, you have your caffeine.  Enough said

Don’t be jealous, but I think I’m in love with the ceiling fan

To you, it’s just an empty egg carton; to me, it’s PlayStation 2

On the ignorance of parents:

There’s no point in teaching me to say “mama” or “dada”.  My first word is going to be “hat”.

I’ve told you five times what a cow says.  If you can’t remember, I’m not telling you again

There is no question that I can cry longer than you can listen

If you wanted a good sleeper, you should have gotten a cat

On life’s great questions:

Who the heck is that baby in the mirror you keep asking me about?

If my bottom is so darn cute, why is someone always trying to cover it up?

~~~

She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.

Anita Brookner

~~~

A young man volunteered to baby-sit one night so his mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One child kept creeping down the stairs but the young man kept sending him back.

At 9pm, the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, “No”.  Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice shouted, “I’m here Mom but he won’t let me go home.”

~~~

“I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.”

~~~

A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey.

“If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against it.

But, if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for it.

This is my position, and I will not compromise.”

~~~

“Effective listeners remember that “words have no meaning – people have meaning.” The assignment of meaning to a term is an internal process; meaning comes from inside us. And although our experiences, knowledge and attitudes differ, we often misinterpret each other’s messages while under the illusion that a common understanding has been achieved.”

Larry Barker

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Remember the good times

“Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passed.”

! 000000 Depression

We have often talked about choosing to be happy and sometimes I am told that it is easier said than done. I do know that is true but I think much of the reason is that we become so focused on the problem at hand that it becomes difficult to put things in perspective.

Recently I stumbled across an article written by Herbert Lui that I think has real merit. If nothing else visiting our own happiness folder should help us put our troubles into perspective. Here in part is what he wrote:

Create Your Own ‘Happiness Folder’

Treat yourself mentally. Create a Happiness Folder. The folder can contain anything that helps you rehearse the memories that you need to become happier in the long-term. This ranges for everyone, but could include:

  • Memories that make you more confident prior to a nerve-racking meeting. (e.g., Journal entries or photos of your “trophies” or “war stories” — e.g., your first sale closed, your first bottle of champagne after your sale closed, memories of good friends — who will be there even if you mess up this meeting.)
  • Or a folder that reminds you that you’re not a terrible artist. (e.g., An encouraging Dribbble comment or Tweet. Your first exhibit. Your first acceptance into a contest. Your first sale, perhaps.)
  • Or a folder that kicks you in the ass when you’re feeling a bit lazy. (e.g., A list of 2015’s new year’s resolutions, childhood goals, a photo of your family, a photo of your younger self, a photo of your heroes, pump-up music.)

These cues remind me of the times I felt on top of the world — and hopefully help me find a pattern between them, so I can understand myself better. But they’re also a sight for sore eyes on particularly gloomy days or when I’m about to attempt something out of my comfort zone. A lot of us are our own worst critics — and the Happiness Folder serves as a way to balance that out a little bit.

In a worst-case scenario, you’ll have a hotbed of creativity to draw from. Life won’t seem to pass by as fast, because you’re making more marks along the journey. But you may find your ability to cheer yourself up a lot more powerful with this resource.

Admittedly, the Happiness Folder still sounds like a bit of an indulgence. It’s a warm, fuzzy, folder. It is the caring friend that gives you a nudge in the right direction.

~~~

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”

Epictetus

~~~

Harry came into the office an hour late for the third time in a week. “What’s the story this time, Harry?” his boss asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”

Harry sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes but then the drawbridge got stuck. I swam across the river — see? My suit’s still damp — ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Trump’s helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes.”

“You’ll have to do better than that, Harry,” said the boss. “No woman can get ready in ten minutes!”

~~~

Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends …. None of us can remember anything.

~~~

A row of bottles on my shelf

Caused me to analyze myself.

One yellow pill I have to pop

Goes to my heart so it won’t stop.

A little white one that I take

Goes to my hands so they won’t shake.

The blue ones that I use a lot

Tell me I’m happy when I’m not.

The purple pill goes to my brain

And tells me that I have no pain.

The capsules tell me not to wheeze

Or cough or choke or even sneeze.

The red ones, smallest of them all

Go to my blood so I won’t fall.

The orange ones, very big and bright

Prevent my leg cramps in the night.

Such an array of brilliant pills

Helping to cure all kinds of ills.

But what I’d really like to know………..

Is what tells each one where to go!

~~~

“Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.”

Dave Barry

~~~

Two men sank into adjacent train seats after a long day in the city. One asked the other, “Your son go back to college yet?”

“Two days ago.”

“H-m-m. Mine’s a senior this year, so it’s almost over. In May, he’ll be an engineer.  What’s your boy going to be when he gets out of college?”

“At the rate he’s going, I’d say he’ll be about thirty.”

“No, I mean what’s he taking in college?”

“He’s taking every penny I make.”

“Doesn’t he burn the midnight oil enough?”

“He doesn’t get in early enough to burn the midnight oil.”

“Well, has sending him to college done anything at all?”

“Sure has! It’s totally cured his mother of bragging about him!”

~~~

“There is space on everyone’s bookshelves for books one has outgrown but cannot give away. They hold one’s youth between their leaves, like flowers pressed on a half-forgotten summer’s day.”

Marion C. Garretty

~~~

He said: As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks to organizations on accident prevention. One night after I spoke to a PTA group, the program chairperson thanked me profusely and gave me a check for fifty dollars.

“Giving these presentations is part of my job,” I said. “Could I donate the money to one of your causes?”

“That would be wonderful,” she gushed. “We have just the program that could use it. We’re trying to raise money so we can afford better speakers.”

~~~

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”

Stacey Charter

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

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