Ray's Daily

I’m sorry if I disappoint

“If each man or woman could understand that every other human life is as full of sorrows, or joys, or base temptations, of heartaches and of remorse as his own . . . how much kinder, how much gentler he would be.”

William Allen White

You have often heard me say that I do the best I can and this is as good as I get, you can take me or leave me, it is up to you. I really do meant it, where I have a problem is with disapproval and the loss of a friend I become concerned that I may have let them down. It is not that I feel like I should be something I’m not, but rather I wonder if there was something I might have done to retain the friendship. This past year there was a couple of people I with who I totally lost contact and miss without understanding what happened. Fortunately I have an abundance of other friends and contacts that I also hold in high regard.

I don’t have any guilt feelings since I know many times things do not work out to our liking and it is then that we must make important choices. We can try to be something we are not, go into a hole and hide or make a far better choice by taking stock and deciding if there is something we should consider changing and if not then moving on. I am still grateful to my two missing friends for all we had before the splits. Life goes on and we owe it to ourselves to enjoy it so I won’t let their loss get me down.

If you have trouble dealing with disapproval you might follow the advice I got from Ralph Marston awhile ago, here is what he suggested:

Accepting disapproval

If you give in to the disapproval of others, you’ll simply encourage them to disapprove even more. If you fight against their disapproval, that will also cause their disapproval to grow stronger.

Your most effective response is to gently accept the disapproval, then let it go and move forward. That strategy will dilute and dispense with the resistance you encounter faster than anything else.

Stop needing the approval of others, and you’ll receive more approval and support than ever. Live each moment from your own inspiration, not from your desire to look good in the eyes of others.

You can be exceptionally kind, loving, giving and respectful without being a slave to the opinions of others. Accept that other people will disapprove of some things you do, and you’ll free yourself to do truly magnificent things.

Your great value does not derive from the approval of others. You are entirely worthy and able to give much to life, regardless of what anyone else may think.

Graciously and enthusiastically accept that others will disapprove, no matter what you do. And delight in the freedom of doing whatever you know is right for you.

~~~

“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.”

William Arthur Ward

~~~

A Jewish man and a Chinese man were conversing. The Jewish man commented upon what a wise people the Chinese are.  “Yes,” replied the Chinese, “Our culture is over 4,000 years old. But, you Jews are a very wise people, too.”

The Jewish man replied, “Yes, our culture is over 5,000 years old.”

The Chinese man was incredulous, “That’s impossible,” he replied. “Where did your people eat for a thousand years?

~~~

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s my idea of a perfect day.

~~~

The Good News, Canada has offered to help the U.S. in the war on terrorism! They Have pledged 2 battleships, 6000 troops and 10 fighter jets.

The Bad News, with the current exchange rate, that comes out to 2 canoes, a mountie and a couple of flying squirrels.

~~~

Jewish Marriage advice “Don’t marry a beautiful person. They may leave you.

Of course, an ugly person may leave you too. But who cares?”

~~~

At a diner, I was standing in line to pay my bill behind two women who handed the young waitress a credit card.  After swiping the card, she loudly called out to her manager, “Mr. Allen, what do I do if it says ‘reject’?”

As the women’s faces reddened and customers turned to look, Mr. Allen, also the cook, calmly walked out from the kitchen.  “Well,” he answered, the first thing you do is shout it out loud enough to embarrass the customer, who might have been thinking about leaving you a tip.”

~~~

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

~~~

The sad thing is that I can relate to some of the following:

Three old guys were out walking.

First one says. “Windy isn’t it? ”

Second one says, “No its Thursday”!!

Third one says. “So am I. Lets go get a beer”

~~~

A man is telling a friend about his recent divorce.

“Yeah, she divorced me for her religious reasons. She worshipped money and I didn’t have any.”

~~~

Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The

first guy said “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older.”

“What do you mean?” asked the second guy.

“Well,” replied the first. “I can barely remember the last time I got aroused in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!”

“Healthier?  How is that?” his buddy wondered.

“Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she’d get these terrible headaches.” he answered. “Now that we’re older, she hasn’t had a headache in years.”

~~~

I’ll believe psychics when one phones me, just in the nick of time, yelling, “Duck!”

~~~

Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I work. So, I’m constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise. “Does anyone know,” I asked a few guys, “what the speed limit is in our parking lot?”

The long silence that followed was interrupted when one of them piped up. “That depends. Do you mean coming in to work or leaving?”

~~~

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Theodore Roosevelt

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

I’m resting

There aren’t enough days in the weekend.

Rod Schmidt

Here we go again, more snow in Indianapolis. Fortunately we were warned so I was able to postpone a scheduled breakfast with an Indiana University friend until next week. So here’s my plan, since I will be in Salvation Army Disaster Relief Training all day tomorrow, I am going to trade today Friday, with tomorrow, Saturday so now I will hibernate today, my pretend Saturday as well as on Sunday. So now I will have a weekend I did not know I was going to have, even though it will be interrupted in the middle; isn’t life grand?

Of course the only problem is that I have less excuse for not doing things on my to-do list. But in spite of that I am going to enjoy the time. I hope you’ll enjoy your weekend as well.

Here are some tips on how you too can enjoy a period of hibernation.

• Eat a nice hot breakfast such as frozen waffles, pop tarts, pancakes, you name it! Along with that, a cup of hot tea or coffee is recommended. Also, orange juice is a great morning drink, because it will give you all the energy you need for the day of relaxation!
• Take a long, hot shower or bath to get you up and awake, then either get in a clean pair of pajamas or a comfortable outfit such as sweatpants and a sweatshirt.
• Get on the computer, watch your favorite show, listen to music, etc.
• Eat again then relax and do whatever suits your interests. Some interesting ideas are to meditate, read, do your hair, dress up for fun, whatever your heart desires!
• If you’re home alone, then let loose and be yourself completely. Do something silly or stupid, scream, release all the week’s stress in some just plain dumb ways. You’ll feel much better.
• If it’s snowing outside and your significant other agrees, go play in the snow! Just have fun.
• Get something to look forward to. Think about that your favorite movie being aired on TV or something special is coming up next week.

~~~

Of all the days that’s in the week

I dearly love but one day

And that’s the day that comes betwixt

A Saturday and Monday.

Henry Carey

~~~

Here is another reason why I like Indiana.

Ray

The Floridian’s Prayer

Bless this house, oh lord, we cry, please keep it cool in mid-July.

Bless the walls where termites dine, while ants and roaches march in time.

Bless our yard where spiders pass fire ant castles in the grass.

Bless the garage, a home to please carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.

Bless the love bugs two by two the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.

Millions of creatures that fly or crawl, in Florida, Lord, you’ve put them all!

But this is home and here we’ll stay, so thank you Lord for insect spray.

~~~

“It’s okay. I didn’t believe in reincarnation last time either.”

~~~

Kid’s Prayers

Dear GOD,

Is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? -Anita

Dear GOD,

Did you really mean “do unto others as they do unto you”? Because if you did, then I’m going to fix my brother. -Darla

Dear GOD,

It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (But I am not going to tell you who I am)

Dear GOD,

Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. -Tom L.

Dear GOD,

I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. -Nan

~~~

“Lord help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 am EST”

~~~

As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

From the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General walks slowly forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy’s ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, and sits quietly as his mother fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers are relieved and grateful; they smile and nod at the General with gestures of thanks as he slowly makes his way back to his seat.

One of the cabin attendants approaches the General. “Excuse me, Sir,” she asks quietly, “but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?”

The old man smiles serenely and confides, “I showed him my pilot’s wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose.”

~~~

Why can’t Unitarian Universalists sing very well in choirs?

Because they’re always reading ahead to see if they agree with the next verse.

~~~

This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s wrong with me, Doctor?”

The doctor looks her over for a couple of moments, then calmly says, “Well, I can tell you one thing…there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight.”

~~~

Definition of a teenager?

God’s punishment for enjoying sex.

~~~

The neighbor dropped in on Judi and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room.

“What’s wrong Judi?” she asked.

Judi told her that she had “morning sickness.”

Surprised, the neighbor said, “I didn’t even know you were pregnant!”

“I’m not.” the harried young woman replied. “I’m just sick of mornings.”

~~~

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of ‘smart’?

~~~

Frieda had just finished her fish dinner. She was, however, not at all happy with it, so she called over the waiter.

“I’ve tasted fresher fish,” said Frieda.

“Not in here,” replied the waiter.

~~~

“I do not count the hours I spend in wandering by the sea”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun. 

Thank you Carl

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.

Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.

Flavia Weedn

It has been a whirlwind week so far and today will be no exception I have a very early Kiwanis meeting followed by an important mid-day meeting of the board of one of my cities best performing multi-service community centers. Since I am a recently elected board member I want to make sure I learn all I can. There are a few other balls in the air as well so I am going to once again excuse myself from trying to come up with a meaningful Daily and fall back on one from this day in the past.

Ray’s Daily first published February 24, 2003

I was saddened last Friday to learn of the death of Carl Dortch the former president of the Indianapolis Chamber of Commerce. Carl held the presidency during the sixties and seventies, a critical time for both Indianapolis and the country. Carl was a leader in the effort for racial harmony during the turbulent sixties. He was one of a handful of leaders that designed and then got legislated a new form of county wide government that has been one of the secrets of our city’s phenomenal success. When I arrived in 1969, Indianapolis almost deserved its reputation as Indiana no place, under Carl’s leadership the changes were made that has resulted in the vibrant cosmopolitan city that Indianapolis has become today.

For me it is a special loss. Carl was my friend and mentor from the beginning of my residency in Indianapolis. I was not tied to a major Indianapolis corporation, did not come from an established Indianapolis family, yet Carl sponsored me for a position in the first group of emerging leaders trained as part of the prestigious Stanly K. Lacy leadership program. It was Carl who had Senator, then Mayor, Dick Lugar, give me my first appointment to a government advisory committee. As time went on I was appointed to numerous other state and local committees and commissions. Carl nominated me as the Chambers representative to a highly regarded week-long national symposium on public interest that was held at Cornell University. The list could go on and on. Suffice it to say that Carl changed my life; I doubt that I would still be living in Indianapolis if Carl had not gotten me involved. I know I would not have had the opportunities I have had to work in the interest of others without his interest in me as well as his humility and humanity.

Carl, you did well, you will be missed. 

In yesterdays Daily I suggested that the gifts we are given by others live on in us even after the gift giver, in this case Mr. Dortch, pass from the scene. This has never been truer than the results of what Carl did for me. I hope that I have lived up to his expectations and to this day I still find myself sometimes asking “What would Carl do in this situation.”

Ray 2-24-2011

~~~

Our deeds still travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are.

George Eliot

~~~

Boy is this right on!

You Live in California when…

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.

2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.

3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

4. You know how to eat an artichoke.

5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You Live in New York City when…

1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

3. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.

4. You think Central Park is “nature,”

5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

6. You’ve worn out your car horn.

7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Live in the Deep South when…

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2.”Ya’ll” is singular and “all ya’ll” is plural.

3. After 5 years you still hear, “You ain’t from ’round here, are Ya?”

4. “He needed killin’” is a valid defense.

5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

You live in the Midwest when…

1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different!”

You live in Florida when…

1.  You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2.  All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.

3.  Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4.  Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5.  Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

~~~

The small choices and decisions we make a hundred times a day add up to determining the kind of world we live in.

Harold S. Kushner Rabbi

~~~

“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”

Alfred Hitchcock

~~~

Little Nancy wailed over her doll, crushed by car tires when her mother had backed over it. Finally, her mother had heard enough, “Don’t come crying to me. I told you not to leave it on the porch!”

~~~

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”

Paul Boese

~~~

A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around. During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work, saying, “May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”

A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it’s like a completely different place–the farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows. “Amazing!” the preacher says. “Look what God and you have accomplished together!”

“Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, “but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!”

~~~

I saw a movie with a happy ending.  Everyone was glad it was over.

~~~

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.”

“And why not, darling?”

“You know that it always gives you a headache next morning.”

~~~

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

~~~

We get through to people to the extent that we have unconditional regard for them as human beings.

Carl Rodgers

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Value the moment

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

Frederick Keonig

One of the things I look forward to each day is reading the message I get from Ralph Marston. His writings are often both inspirational and helpful. I go back and reread them occasionally when something I am thinking about triggers my interest. Today was no exception. As you know I spend a lot of time with other seniors and I find that many just let what could be precious moments slip by unnoticed or at least unappreciated and I think that is a shame.

I find as we age and deal with our limitations that collecting moments of value can make each day interesting and rewarding. Of course we start aging the minute we are born and as I watch infants and young children find joy in the simplest of things I regret that most of us lose our appreciation of the simple as we focus on the complex. Fortunately our ability to appreciate the often unnoticed does not have to be lost forever. You can start recovering the skill anytime, in fact tomorrow would be a good day to do so. Why not decide that tomorrow you will watch out for just one thing that you normally would overlook and savor it for a moment and remember that it was worth your attention. You can look for something else the next day and soon you will discover that you have built a treasure trove of appreciated moments.

Here is what Marston wrote that turned into a moment I appreciated and did not overlook. While he offers the advice to take action when the moment is here, action can be the process of appreciating the moment and storing it.

 It doesn’t do much good when you appreciate the value of a moment only after that moment has passed. By that time, it’s really too late.

Instead, see the value of each moment while it is here. Live and experience that value while you still can.

The biggest regrets are for opportunities missed, for the things you could have done but didn’t. Choose to deal in action rather than in regret.

Take the opportunity presented by each moment as the moment arrives. Dive into the richness before it fades away.

Life is filled with great abundance. But the abundance can’t be saved for later unless you live it now.

Live it now, and make the most of it while it’s here. And then, though the moment will soon pass, you’ll always have its value.

~~~

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

Ashley Smith

~~~

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the person behind the wheel was knitting!

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, “PULL OVER!”

“NO!” the driver yelled back, “SCARF.”

~~~

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

~~~

He said that these are little known facts about women

•”Oh, nothing,” has an entirely different meaning in woman language than it does in man language.

•Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

•All women are overweight by definition; don’t agree with them about it.  Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don’t bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

•Only women understand the reason for “guest towels” and the “good china”.

•Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

•Women don’t really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don’t see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

•Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they’ll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

~~~

“Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.”

~~~

She said these are the REAL facts about women:

•Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

•One of the life’s mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

•The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

•Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician.

•Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

•Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

•If at first you don’t succeed, see if the loser gets anything.

•Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.

•It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.

•Age is important only if you’re cheese or wine.

•The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.

•Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.

•Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

~~~

Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

~~~

A distraught patient phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” the woman wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, “I wonder then, just how serious is my condition. This prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.”

~~~

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not sure

~~~

One day a lumberjack went into the hardware store crying over his broken ax. It had been in the family for five generations, and they had been able to cut down one hundred trees per day with this ax. The lumberjack could not part with it and asked the clerk for help. The clerk said, “Not to worry — everything is going to be all right. I have plenty of ax handles.” After a moment, the clerk inquired, “Say, you can cut down one hundred trees with this ax in one day?”

The lumberjack replied, “Yes, we have been doing it for five generations.”

The clerk went on to pitch, “Well, I have something that will cut down five hundred trees in one day.”

“Five hundred trees!!! What’cha got?” asked the lumberjack with excitement.

“A chainsaw,” replied the clerk.

“A chainsaw? What’s a chainsaw?”

The clerk plopped a device on the counter. The lumberjack oogled over it and said, “I’ll take it!”

The next day, the lumberjack came in hot as a pistol, yelling at the clerk as he slammed the chainsaw down on the counter. “You lied to me! You said that this would cut down five hundred trees in one day! I couldn’t even cut down one!”

“Well, let’s see what is wrong.” The clerk looked over the device, turned a few knobs, and pulled the rip cord. “Vvvaaaaaarrrroooommmm!” the device roared as it came alive.

The lumberjack jumped back in horror. “What’s that noise?”

~~~

“Life holds so many simple blessings, each day bringing its own individual wonder.”

John McLeod

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

I’m going to have a great day, are you?

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.

James Openheim

Here we go again, Monday and I am going to start the week by having a great day and than go uphill for the rest of the week. It will be great preparation for my Salvation Army Disaster Relief first level training on Saturday.

One of the reasons I know today is going to be a great day is that I will be breakfasting with a good friend shortly where we will work on ideas to build inter-organizational partnerships to the benefit of the growing population of seniors in our community. As the baby boomers come on stream we are finding more and more folks choosing to retire in our city. Not just for all the amenities we offer but also because of our lifestyle and our caring for each other. I am fortunate that my friend is willing to help make good things happen.

One of my great interests is in our ability to empower this growing segment of our population in a manner that will allow us to benefit from their wisdom, kindness and their often unbelievable energy. The more of these good people who help continue lifetime learning and show how much we need them the better our community will be. And truthfully my friends it is not a senior issue rather it is an effort to mine an often untapped resource to help build a better life for people of all ages. I have seen what seniors can do with preschoolers who react with joy to a senior who cares enough to offer their hand and friendship. I have seen how a caring senior can mentor a kid in school who needs some one to help them over the difficult learning humps that might otherwise take them down. I have seen seniors who have found true gold in their retirement years as they have learned enough to be a docent at a museum or historical site thus enriching the experience for the institutions visitors. You get the idea the list almost has no limits.

Yep, the week is starting off well and there is more to come. I hope you do as well as I will, in fact why don’t we both decide right now that we will look back next Sunday and take inventory of the good stuff and trash any memories of the not-so-good stuff.

If you think it is difficult to have a good day then you might want to follow the advice I picked up not too long ago from an unknown source.

How to Make It a Good Day

•Wake up and be grateful. There is always something you can give thanks for, always. Find it. Acknowledge it.

•Smile. It will trigger nuerochemical processes in your body, and it will cheer others around you. Smiling is free, and it passes on good will.

•Fake it till you make it. If your confidence is low, or you don’t feel particularly pleasant, fake it. Fake it till you make it. Eventually things will come around. No point in being unpleasant to yourself or others in the mean time.

•Don’t dump your garbage on others. You know what it feels like to have someone take out their bad day on you, so don’t be that guy. Keep it in check, and wear your smile like a crown. This is the essence of grace.

•Get off your keister. Once in a while good luck and pleasant things of all kinds roll your way. Most of the time, you need to do something to invite those pleasant things in to your life. Try harder to make the environment around you more pleasant and do something for somebody else.

•Put your hands to some wonderful use today. There is always something a little extra and very good that you can do today. Kindness breeds kindness. If you want good days for yourself, start the ball rolling by trying to make it a good day for others too.

~~~

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys.  If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

~~~

“I never eat food containing unnatural coloring or preservatives, or sprayed vegetables, or meat that has been pumped with hormones or similar, unnatural growth-enhancing stuff.”

Well, how do you feel?

“Very hungry.”

~~~

“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities — always see them, for they’re always there.”

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

She said:

The biggest problem with the younger generation these days is that I don’t belong to it any more.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times….At my age, that’s true of (everything you can possibly ever say.)

I used to have Saturday Night Fever. Now I just have Saturday Night hot flashes.

I got the feeling my stuff strutted off without me?

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old as long as she buys him a few drinks first.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I’m getting into swing dancing.  Not on purpose…some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises as you coffeemaker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “For fast relief.

I’ve tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age. But they haven’t made one called, “Buns of Putty.”

Don’t think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as my inner child playing with matches.

I don’t let aging get me down…It’s too hard to get back up.

~~~

The challenge of leadership is to be strong but not rude; be kind but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.

Jim Rohn

~~~

Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate who traveled to a small town community to address the single church there. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to ask which denomination so that when it was time for his speech, he inquired in this way: “My brethren, all. I must tell you that my great Grandfather was Presbyterian (absolute silence); but my Grandmother was an Episcopalian (more silence); I must tell you that my other Grandfather was a Christian Scientist (deep silence); while my other Grandmother was Methodist (continued silence). But I must tell you that I had an aunt who was a Baptist through and through (loud cheers!) and I have always considered my aunt’s path to be the right one!”

~~~

When learning about life and people, make no more assumptions than are absolutely necessary. Ask and observe.

William of Ockham

~~~

She said:

I work in sales. While I was in a customer’s home one afternoon and was talking to the customer, their 4 year old little girl whose name was Michelle, tugged on my pants leg and excitedly exclaimed, “I got a new bicycle, do you want to see it?”

I said, “Sure, Michelle.”

So off to the backyard we all went. Upon getting into the backyard, I saw a brand new girl’s bicycle. “Wow! Michelle! That’s a beautiful bicycle.” I complimented. “Can you ride it?”

“Yeah, I can ride it,” she said, then with a sad face she pouted, “but it’s broke.”

I looked at the new bicycle and couldn’t see anything wrong with it, so I asked her, “Well, what’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, “but every time I ride it it falls over!”

~~~

Pleasure is spread through the earth

In stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find.

William Wordsworth

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

I got over it

I become happy when I choose to accept and love all of life.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You may have heard me say before that I feel we need valleys as they are the starting point for the mountains we get to climb. Sometimes I spend more time in the valley than I would like but that just means leaving is that much sweeter. In the last week or so I was down because of a bad cold, had trouble with my home WI FI network, had to miss a few meetings that I wanted to attend, my satellite radio destroyed itself and I did some serious damage to my car by trying to drive it through an ice bank. All in all much more character building than I would have liked over such a short period.

But as it always does things took a turn for the better. A couple of my projects are functioning better than I had any right to expect, our weather went for arctic cold to almost balmy, some of my friends reaped new rewards through making a positive life change and the icing on the cake was when I was contacted by a colleague from my Sperry Univac days. I think last week I used one of my mantras in a Daily which is “This too will pass,” which proved to be true again as the bad days morphed into good days.

I have often regretted the past when I would sometimes let adversity take me down and laying the foundation for worry and pessimism. Fortunately the years have taught me that when we are at the bottom the next step forward is up. I may have told you last week, I know I told one friend, that my problems that day made everything else seem better and if the truth be known none of it was more than an inconvenience. So my friends I find my bad is never that bad and it always provides me the motivation to let it go and move on, almost always to better times.

 I have found that this little poem is worth heeding for if you do as it says it can brighten your life.

Laugh when you can,

apologize when you should,

and let go of what you can’t change.

Life’s too short to be anything… but happy.

Anonymous

~~~

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.

Hermann Hesse

~~~

John went to the doctor because he had bulging eyes and a persistent ringing in his ears.

The doctor looked him over and suggested removing his tonsils.

The tonsillectomy resulted in no improvement, so John consulted a dentist who suggested that removing his teeth might eliminate the problem.

All of John’s teeth were extracted but still his eyes bulged out and the annoying ringing in his ears continued.

A third doctor told him bluntly, “You have six months to live.”

Feeling doomed and gloomy, John decided to treat himself right while he still had time, so he bought a flashy car, hired a chauffeur and a gardener, and got himself measured by a tailor for some new suits. To go along with the new suits, he decided that even his shirts would be made to order.

“Okay,” said the shirt maker, “let’s get your measurements. Hmm, thirty-four sleeve, sixteen collar.”

“No, I wear a fifteen collar” John told him.

“Sixteen collar,” the shirt maker repeated, measuring again.

“But I’ve always worn a fifteen collar,” said John.

“Listen,” said the shirt maker, “I’m telling you right now—if you keep on wearing a tight fifteen collar, your eyes will bulge out and you’ll have ringing in your ears.”

~~~

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”

Lily Tomlin

~~~

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

“How did that happen?,” gasped her mother.

“It wasn’t easy,” admitted the young lady, “but 3 girls helped me catch him.”

~~~

Q. What’s a Jewish girl’s idea of natural childbirth?

A. Absolutely no make up.

~~~

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes.

He replied, “It’s easy!” and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top.

He told his boss, “I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers.” He laid out his chips and dip.

“That’s a very innovative approach,” his boss said, as he took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. “Yuck, this tastes terrible!”

The salesman replied “IT IS?

Want to buy a toothbrush?”

~~~

Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

~~~

One day, an young girl is walking through a park when she hears a faint “Help me, help me”.

She looks around and follows the quiet voice to a bush near the path. Looking under the bush she spies a little green frog trapped under a log. The girl moves the log and picks up the frog.

“Oh, thank you, thank you” says the frog, “Take me home and put me on your pillow and in the morning I’ll be a handsome Prince.”

So the girl takes the frog home and puts him on the pillow and there in the morning is a handsome prince.

You don’t believe that?

Neither did her mother!

~~~

Why does mineral water that ‘has trickled through mountains for centuries’ have a ‘use by’ date?

~~~

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help & she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go on. Finally, when the 2nd boot was on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.” She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.”

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, “Why didn’t you say so?” like she wanted to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

No sooner they got the boots off and he said, “They’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear `em.”

Now she didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, “Now, where are your mittens?”

He said, “I stuffed `em in the toes of my boots.”

Her trial starts next month.

~~~

So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don’t sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we’ve satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late.

Lee Iacocca

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Ah, success at last

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”

Joshua J. Marine

I had breakfast with a friend recently who owns a modest business who like so many others in the recent past found that it was not easy doing enough business to get by. Having been use to monetary and professional success it was a challenge to accept the slow down. He told me it was getting to him and even affecting his non work behavior.

Thankfully he took a short family vacation and while gone realized that he was not guilty nor was there someone else to blame for what was happening. He decided that in reality getting by when so many others were not was in itself success of sorts. Probably what was even more important was the realization that he need not let work define him nor consume all his time and energy and so he decided to make a life style change. What happened is that he actually has benefited from the slow down as he has reinvented himself and reset his priorities. And by the way his business is picking up and he manages what he does so that it fits into his choices rather than dictates an unacceptable return to the struggles of the past.

In my friend’s case, as in mine and hopefully yours, he has learned to place value on more than just money and public prestige. He has recognized the importance of living fully and balancing his activities so that he can get the most out of each day.

Here is how author John Follis defined the true meaning of success during a time when he also was dealing with difficult business affairs. I appreciate that he has shared this with the public.

What “Success” Is To Me.

To have the ways, means, time and guts to choose and follow my own path.

To dissolve the line between who I am and what I “do.”

To make decisions based not on fear, guilt, money or politics but rather what truly feels right.

To have much love, passion and fun in my life.

To be healthy in body, mind and spirit.

To have enthusiasm when I wake up, and peace of mind when I go to bed.

To use my unique gifts in a way that makes a positive difference in many peoples’ lives.

To inspire and motivate others.

To be able to make people laugh — including myself.

To know that I’m on the right path and not alone in my journey.

To live with the understanding that “getting there” isn’t half the fun, it’s most of it.

To make the most with what I’ve been given.

To take advantage of every opportunity and face every fear.

To live having true friends and die having no regrets.

I honestly believe that if each of us made a personal commitment to using these success definitions as our guide we will reap great reward.

~~~

Yesterday’s success formula is often today’s obsolete dogma & we must continually challenge the past so that we can renew ourselves each day.

Sumantra Ghoshal

~~~

We Were So Poor That We Could Only Afford…

Medicines called placebos

Five of the Ten Commandments

Bagel holes

Sunrise Or Sunset

Webster’s Extremely Abridged Dictionary

White Crayolas

Ivory soap soup mix

Blue suede shoe boxes

Lipton Tea Bag strings

~~~

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.

Aldous Huxley

~~~

In order for the Italians not to be left out in naming their ships, they finally registered the following designation with NATO :

USA is USS which means “United States Ship”.

British is HMS which means “Her Majesty’s Ship”.

….and now

Italy is AMB which means “Atsa My Boat!”

~~~

“I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called brightness, but it doesn’t work.”

Eugene P. Gallagher

~~~

– Hello, that’s you, Abe?

– Yes, dis is Abe…

– It doesn’t sount like Abe

– Vell, dis is Abe all right.

– You’re positive it’s Abe?

– Absolutely.

– Vell, listen Abie, dis is Moe. Can you lend me fifty dollars?

– Ven Abe comes in, I’ll tell him you called…

~~~

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

~~~

A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim.

“It takes considerable time and technique.” replied the guard. “First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly…”

“This is certainly most helpful.” said the member. “I know that my sister will appreciate it.”

“Your sister?” said the lifeguard. “In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She’ll learn in a hurry.”

~~~

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

~~~

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly.  Another flash.  He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed.  Same result.

“This guy must have screwed up the settings,” the off-duty officer thought.

A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt!

~~~

I know I’m not going to understand women. I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

~~~

His son is a “high-energy” kid who never sits still and is always on the move.

He was surprised when his wife suggested that they buy him a bike for his birthday.

“Do you really believe that’ll help improve his behavior ?” he asked.

“Well, no,” she admitted, “But it’ll spread it over a wider area.”

~~~

“I do believe that when we face challenges in life that are far beyond our own power, it’s an opportunity to build on our faith, inner strength, and courage. I’ve learned that how we face challenges plays a big role in the outcome of them.”

Sasha Azevedo

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray’s not here

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.

Edwin H. Chapin

Hi everyone. Ray’s not here he left for an early morning meeting and I think he has a full day after that. Since he was out until late last night with his 16 year old granddaughter I doubt he will not have much brainpower when he does get here. He did say they saw Hairspray at our local dinner theatre and they thought it was great. Rather than keeping the presses warmed up only to have him put together a mediocre Daily I am going to take the bull by the horns, send you an old one and get out of here. I hope you have a good day.

Ray’s Computer

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published on February 16, 2004

I hope it is my imagination, but it seems like there is more bitterness in people these days. Friends seem so polarized by politics that they seem to have lost their objectivity. Everyday we read about the results of road rage and confrontation. Are we as a people becoming so selfish that we are at risk losing of our humanity? I sure hope not. I am glad I know all of you, because so many of you are selfless and continue to enjoy life with confidence and concern for others. I guess goodness is not often recognized. Each day you make my day better, thank you.

~~~

Heavenly Father,

Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can’t make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

Author unknown.

~~~

To err is human,

to forgive is divine.

Alexander Pope

~~~

Age Might Be Creeping Up On You …

You like to be in crowds because they keep you from falling down.

Your favorite section of the newspaper is “25 Years Ago Today”.

The parts that have arthritis are the parts where you feel best.

A big evening with your friends is sitting around comparing living wills

Your clothes go into the overnight bag so you can fill the suitcase with your pills.

Somebody you consider an old-timer calls you an old-timer.

Your idea of a change of scenery is looking to the left or right.

Your knees buckle, but your belt won’t.

~~~

“A man needs self-acceptance or he can’t live with himself; he needs self-criticism or others can’t live with him.”

James A. Pike

~~~

Budget cuts to the army forced the training team to start doing mock combat using no explosives, guns, or basically any equipment what-so-ever, so when it came to a training scenario, the Sergeant in charge tells his recruits that they are under imaginary fire, and what do they do? So all of the recruits bar one scatter and get down behind “stuff”, and get into returning fire positions.

The Sergeant notices this one recruit standing out in the open, quite relaxed and unfazed. Yelling, the Sergeant asks “What the devil do you think you’re doing? You’re under fire!” So the recruit takes one step to the left and remains still.

Now the Sergeant’s really annoyed. He yells again, “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? You’re under imaginary fire, take cover!” The recruit turns to him and replies, “I’m taking cover behind this imaginary tree Sergeant!”

~~~

As I said before, I will not repeat myself.

~~~

Carolyn provides us these insights from Maxine:

1. Maxine on “Driver Safety” – “I can’t use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.”

2. Maxine on “Life” – “Life is like an oven. It burns my buns.”

3. Maxine on “Housework” – “I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.”

4. Maxine on “Lawn Care” – “The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower.  I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless.”

5. Maxine on “Body Piercing” – “I’d get my tongue pierced, but I still have a little bit of brain left in my head.”

6. Maxine on “the Perfect Man” – “All I’m looking for is a guy who’ll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed.”

7. Maxine on “Work” – “My performance at work has really improved over the years. Now I can nail a co-worker with a paper-clip shot from a rubber band at 20 yards.”

8. Maxine on “the Technology Revolution” – “My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.”

9. Maxine on “Aging” – “Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita.”

~~~

“Ladies and gentlemen, before we begin a special announcement – the National Security Alert has now been lowered back down to ‘elevated’. Have you got that? It’s been lowered to ‘elevated’. I hope that clears up any confusion.”

Jay Leno

~~~

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says “Are you crazy? You just joined the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!”

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked, “How did you do it?”

“Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, ‘Do you want to get a 3-day pass?’ So we exchanged tanks!”

~~~

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

~~~

A Texan is bragging to a Rhode Islander. “In Texas,” he drawls, “you can get on a train, ride all day long, and still be in Texas by nightfall.”

“Yeah”, replies the Yankee, “We have slow trains in Rhode Island too.”

~~~

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

Dalai Lama

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray did it again!

“Perfectionism is a dangerous state of mind in an imperfect world”

Robert Hillyer

As you know I never claim to be perfect, in fact I always include a senility disclaimer at the end of each Daily. Unfortunately I frequently move from semi-perfect to far from perfect. Yesterday was one of those days. First let me correct something that was in the Daily. Yesterday I wrote:

How about joining me, if you live in Central Indiana and want to participate in a selfish act, come with me to the Salvation Army Disaster Relief training on Saturday February 20^th. I am taking it because I am confident that if nothing else I can hand out doughnuts and coffee to people who can do more at a disaster site. Seriously if you are interested let me know and I’ll get you the details. 

Of course the 20^th is a Sunday not a Saturday and if you showed up then you would be six days early for the class which is on Saturday, February 26^th. I have had two of our readers say they were signing up I hope more will as well.

If that mistake was not bad enough this one is the topper, I left the house at 6:30 AM to go to a 7 AM meeting and as I was tooling along one of our main thoroughfares in the right lane of the three lane road I ran up onto an ice bank that was a couple of feet high. No matter how it seems I do know that I should not expect the car to drive itself. Fortunately a good Samaritan came by and we were able to get the car off the ice pile. Later I found that I had damaged the plastic decorative under bumper that winds around the car. I would expect a replacement at today’s prices would be a $1000 or more so hopefully there is an alternative.

I am a great believer in the adage that there is a positive aspect to every negative event. In this case all I could come up with was that everything else after that seemed better than it probably was. Thank goodness that it was Valentines Day and that I am married to a woman who has learned not to expect too much from her husband for she was very forgiving and didn’t point out my stupidity once.

I think I shared with you one time that I thought perfection was boring and that imperfection made life interesting. Yesterday was extremely interesting and I hope I remain bored for a day or two. Ain’t life grand!

~~~

A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections

Chinese Proverb

~~~

He said it’s Great To Be a Man because:

* My same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

* I don’t have to shave below my neck.

* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

* I can “do” my nails with a pocketknife.

* Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

~~~

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

~~~

I’ve always ordered beverages one simple way: “A Coke, please.”

Lately, though, this hasn’t seemed to work. Waitresses now often respond, “I’m sorry, we don’t have Coke. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb.”

Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I thought I’d make life easier.  So one day I simply asked the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a “dark, carbonated beverage.”

The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked, “Ma’am, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking device with that?”

~~~

“There are two things I’ve learned: There is no Cinderella. And, I’m not her Prince.”

~~~

PARENTHOOD

She told me that yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:     

Your Clothes

-1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.  

-2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.  

-3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.  

The Baby’s Name

-1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.  

-2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.  

-3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.  

Preparing for the Birth

-1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.  

-2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

-3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

-1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

-2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.  

-3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?  

Worries

-1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.  

-2nd  baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to take your firstborn.  

-3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.  

Activities

-1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby wing, and Baby Story Hour.  

-2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.  

-3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.  

Going Out

-1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

-2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.  

-3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.  

At Home

-1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.  

-2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.  

-3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

~~~

I cling to my imperfection, as the very essence of my being.

Anatole France

~~~

I’m selfish, I volunteer

Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.

Erma Brombeck

A very good friend of mine is a people serving organizations link to businesses, service organizations, churches, individual’s  actually to everyone who may not know the details of the good works of her colleagues as they serve thousands of people every year. My friend is in the process of putting together an event that will honor current supporters as well as showcase the organizations accomplishments to others. As we talked about the event I again realized how often we limit our focus to what we do for the outside world through the gift of time, talent and/or treasure by volunteers without recognizing that we who volunteer are the real winners. I know many folks who want to find something they can do to give their life more meaning who are unaware of all the volunteer opportunities there are. Many who are looking for an antidote for the lonesomeness and isolation that often comes with retirement and aging can find it wherever they live. I also meet young people who are ready and willing to do some good but just don’t know where to start.

• The first thing my friends organization does for me is that it provides me a place where I can make a contribution, I can’t lift as much as I once could so they don’t ask me to lift, I can’t move as fast either, so they don’t ask me to run, fortunately there are serving opportunities for almost everyone.
• The second really meaningful thing I get is a sense of community, I work with people I enjoy, many who become friends.
• The third thing that I get from the gift I have been given is the sense of well being that comes from knowing that at the end of the day I did something worthwhile. And what pleases me the most is that it seems to have rubbed off on my children and grandchildren for they love volunteering.

I think it is time that we quit making volunteering appear to be something requiring personal sacrifice, something done for only altruistic reasons. It is time to shout out to others that it provides a place for our hearts and minds, it allows us to demonstrate our humanness, and it brings us together.

I know there are cynics everywhere, I know I often get asked why I do what I do, I just feel sorry for them since they miss the joy that comes from working shoulder to shoulder with others. It is not important that everybody joins up, for you and me are two, and that friend of ours makes three, and the kids get us to 10 and everyone of us makes a difference.

Yep, for me my volunteer efforts are a selfish act because I get so much more out of it than I give. And you know what? No one can take what I choose to do as a volunteer away from me.

How about joining me, if you live in Central Indiana and want to participate in a selfish act, come with me to the Salvation Army Disaster Relief training on Saturday February 20^th. I am taking it because I am confident that if nothing else I can hand out doughnuts and coffee to people who can do more at a disaster site. Seriously if you are interested let me know and I’ll get you the details.

~~~

“When kids volunteer it tells others that they don’t have to be perfect or famous or even grown up to make a difference.”

Kalynn Dobos, age 7

~~~

Penny, a good Assessment nurse was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call.  She reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm.  After the examination, she told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will.

When she got home and told her husband of what she had seen and done. Her husband asked, “Was the patient that bad?”

Penny said, “No, I just didn’t want to be the only sucker called out on a night like this.”

~~~

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

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Things it takes most of us 50 years to learn:

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.

3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

4. The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.

5. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.

7. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

8. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

9. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

10. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

11. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.

12. You should not confuse your career with your life.

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

14. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

15. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

16. Your true friends love you, anyway.

17. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

~~~

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

~~~

On a train from London to Manchester, an American was telling off the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.  “You English are too stuffy.  You set yourselves apart too much.  Look at me…  I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood, and some Swedish blood.  What do you say to that?”

The Englishman replied, with a smile, “Very sporting of your Mother”

~~~

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her …or something like that.

~~~

At an annual Bosses Night dinner for Helena, Mont., lawyers, sponsored by legal secretaries, it was time to announce the Boss of the Year. The master of ceremonies began: “First of all, our winner is a graduate of the University of Montana. So that already eliminates some of you as candidates. “Our winner also is a partner in a downtown Helena law firm. That eliminates some more of you. “Our nominee is honest, upright, dedicated…” A voice from the audience cut in: “Well, there go the rest of us!”

~~~

“The road to success is not crowded. Because while most are looking for ways to take, the truly successful people are finding ways to give. With a giving attitude, every situation is an opportunity for success.”

Unknown

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Stay well, do good work, and have fun.