February 28, 2020
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
I hope your week has been good so far. There sure has been a lot of turmoil as the world deals with the coronavirus epidemic. It would be easy to let the health and financial impact to get us down. But that will only happen if we lose sight of how good we can live our lives.
The best judge of how well we are doing is ourselves, not the critics that often offer their opinions. We must not ignore the realities of the current epidemic and its effect on our economy, it is just that we must net let us lose sight of our everyday successes.
Recently Marc Chernoff published his thoughts on life experiences that we should appreciate. Here a few of them that hit home for me.
Incredible Life Experiences You Will Never Forget
Pay attention to your outlook on life. Every day you can either regret or rejoice; it’s your choice. When you choose the latter, life opens doors to amazing experiences you will likely remember forever. Here are 40 such experiences…
- Flowing and working through life’s great challenges. – No matter what happens, do your best and smile. You won’t enjoy your life if you don’t enjoy your challenges. Great challenges make life interesting, and overcoming them makes life meaningful.
- The freedom that comes from acceptance. – The secret to happiness and peace is letting every situation be what it is, instead of what you think it should be, and then making the best of it.
- Moments of sincere gratitude. – Appreciate life even when it’s not ideal. Happiness is not the fulfillment of what we wish for, but an appreciation for what we have. When life gives you every reason to be negative, think of one good reason to be positive. There’s always something to be grateful for.
- Walking comfortably in your own shoes. – We are all weird in some way. What sets you apart may seem like a burden, but it’s not. Most of the time it’s what makes you so incredible.
- Aligning what you do with who you are. – Make the rest of your life the best of your life. Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.
- Designing your own life, your own way. – No matter how you live, someone will be disappointed. So live a life you are proud of. Live YOUR truth and be sure YOU aren’t the one who is disappointed in the end.
- Making the impossible possible. – In most cases, impossible is not a fact; it’s an opinion. Almost anything is possible if you’ve got enough time and enough nerve.
- Following through with your promises. – Unless a real commitment is made there are only empty promises and hopes, but no real plans or results. Remember, commitment means staying loyal and keeping a promise long after the mood you made the promise in has left you.
- Knowing you did the right thing. – True integrity is doing the right thing, no matter what, even when nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.
Follow your hopes and not your fears.
Things Every Kindergartner Knows About Food
- If it tastes really bad, the teacher knows a song about how great it is!
- In a pinch, glue is an acceptable condiment.
- Absolutely everything tastes better with chocolate syrup or ketchup on it.
- Most blue food you find in the fridge will make the puppy sick.
- Mom’s M&M cookies are worth two sandwiches and a dead frog.
- Dr. Pepper supplies the best on-demand burps.
- Most foods can be used as finger paints when necessary.
- Your dog, your cat and your one-year-old brother all look the same eating peanut butter.
And the #1 Thing Every Kindergartner Knows About Food …
- Happy Meal french fries last longer than the Happy Meal toys….but the toys taste better.
“Despite bad weather and delays, NASA was able to get the space shuttle to the ground safely. They had to reroute the landing due to bad weather. Even though the landing was safe, not surprisingly the crew’s luggage was sent to Atlanta.”
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol – Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead.
Third worm in chocolate syrup – Dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil – Alive!
So the Minister asked the congregation – What can you learn from this demonstration?
All was quiet until a little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said, “I guess as long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!”
She told me: “I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.”
The following ‘pick-up’ lines may or may not be the best way to win someone over, but they are certainly a conversation starter, and if delivered right, may even garner a good laugh.
Your eyes are the color of my Porsche.
Hi. My name is Mark Gates. Maybe you know my dad, Bill?
Didn’t I see you on the cover of Vogue?
Hi. I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Do you believe in love at first site or shall I walk by again?
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the polish jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway, I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, this big guy came in and said to me, “Hey pal, I’m Polish and I don’t like you telling all those
So I said, “Well, they’re not against you, pal, just against anyone in Poland.”
“My mother is in Poland!” He screams, and pulls out a razor.
Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me, but luckily he couldn’t find a place to plug it in.
“I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.”
A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, questioned her, and then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him.
“Yes,” she quickly replied. “Tell him…Mother didn’t come after all.”
“I dreamed a thousand new paths. . . I woke and walked my old one.”
He said: Our crew at an ambulance company works 24-hour shifts. The sleeping quarters consist of a large room with several single beds, so we get to know one another’s habits, like who snores or talks in his sleep.
While I was having my teeth examined by a dentist one day, he noticed that some of my teeth were chipped. “It looks like you clench your jaw at night,” he said.
“No way,” I blurted without thinking. “No one has ever said I grind my teeth, and I sleep with a lot of people!”
If you go around being afraid, you’re never going to enjoy life. You have only one chance, so you’ve got to have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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