Ray's musings and humor

Archive for September, 2015

How is your life?

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Unknown

Best-Time-Of-My-Life

How is your day going to be today?  Mine is going to be great. I will be going to my dentist for the second time this week as he works to restore my ability to eat anything I want and that is good. Later I will attend a Senior Health Fair being run by my favorite YMCA coach.

The best part is that I will wander through a cool fall day getting to watch the goings on around my city, giving me a chance to say hi to folks along the way and possibly even make a new friend. While I am far from being as spry as I would like to be I don’t remember ever being happier than I am these days.

I have included a story that kind of reminds me of my life, I hope it reminds you of yours.

The Best Time Of My Life

Author Unknown. But Greatly Appreciated!

It was June 15, and in two days I would be turning thirty. I was insecure about entering a new decade of my life and feared that my best years were now behind me.

My daily routine included going to the gym for a workout before going to work. Every morning I would see my friend Nicholas at the gym. He was seventy-nine years old and in terrific shape. As I greeted Nicholas on this particular day, he noticed I wasn’t full of my usual vitality and asked if there was anything wrong. I told him I was feeling anxious about turning thirty. I wondered how I would look back on my life once I reached Nicholas’s age, so I asked him, “What was the best time of your life?”

Without hesitation, Nicholas replied, “Well, Joe, this is my philosophical answer to your philosophical question:

“When I was a child in Austria and everything was taken care of for me and I was nurtured by my parents, that was the best time of my life.

“When I was going to school and learning the things I know today, that was the best time of my life.

“When I got my first job and had responsibilities and got paid for my efforts, that was the best time of my life.

“When I met my wife and fell in love, that was the best time of my life.

“The Second World War came, and my wife and I had to flee Austria to save our lives. When we were together and safe on a ship bound for North America, that was the best time of my life.

“When we came to Canada and started a family, that was the best time of my life.

“When I was a young father, watching my children grow up, that was the best time of my life.

“And now, Joe, I am seventy-nine years old. I have my health, I feel good and I am in love with my wife just as I was when we first met. This is the best time of my life.”

~~~

You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.

Hannah Marks

~~~

He sent this:

To My Darling Wife,

I’m sending you this letter in a bogus software company envelope so you’ll be sure to read it.  Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what’s been going on since your computer entered our lives two years ago. The children are doing well. Kevin is 7 now and is a bright, Handsome boy. He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He drew a family portrait for a school project. All the figures were good but yours was excellent!

The chair and back of your head are very realistic. You would be proud of him. Little Nikki turned 3 in September. She looks a lot like you did at that age. She is an attractive child and quite smart.  She still remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday. What a grand day for Nikki, despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity was out.

I discovered that the household chores are much easier since I realized that you didn’t mind being vacuumed and that the feather duster made you sneeze. The house is in good shape. I had the living room painted last spring. I’m not sure if you noticed it. I asked the painters to cut air holes in the drop cloths so you wouldn’t be disturbed.

Well dear, I must be going. The family is leaving on a ski trip and there is much packing to do. I’ve hired a house-keeper to take care of things while we are away. She’ll keep things in order, fill your coffee cup and bring your meals to the computer room just the way you like it.

I hope you and the computer have a lovely time while we are gone. Kevin, Nikki and I think of you often.  Try to remember us while your disks are booting.

Love, Andy

~~~

Jack is telling his friends about his recent divorce.

“Yeah, she divorced me for religious reasons.  She worshipped money and I didn’t have any.”

~~~

Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them. Now ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he knew was coming.

Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch. No one stood up during the pause to offer a reason ‘why this couple should not be married’. His reception wasn’t disrupted by streakers or smoke-bombs, and the car the couple was to take on their honeymoon was in perfect working order.

When the couple arrived at their hotel and entered the room, Bill even checked for cornflakes in the bed (a gag he had always loved). Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Satisfied that he had come away unscathed, the couple fell into bed.

Upon waking, the couple was ravenous so Bill called down to room service and asked, “I’d like to order breakfast for two.”

At that moment, a soft voice from under the bed said, “Make that five.”

~~~

“Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter because nobody listens.”

Nick Diamos

~~~

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65-year-old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65-year-old mother says, “Not yet.”

A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, “Not yet.”

Finally they say, “When can we see the baby?”

The mother says, “When the baby cries.”

They ask, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?”

The new mother says, “Because I forgot where I put it.”

~~~

Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them.

~~~

During a recent publicity outing, Jennifer sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question. “Will I be acquitted?”

~~~

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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Let’s start today

Procrastination is the thief of time.

Edward Young

! Procrastination

Lately we have discussed the value of making the best of each day while forgetting about yesterday and not worrying about tomorrow. I think for many of us procrastination steals opportunities from too many of our days. Nothing gets done without a start so if we fail to get moving today we will have lost an opportunity to do something that we might enjoy and possibly something noteworthy. Here are excerpts that I copied from a long article written by Isi Dixon that reminds me of how I was when I was younger before I decided that there is no time better than right now.

How to Stop Putting it Off – Say Goodbye to Procrastination For Good

Procrastination is a little bit like an addiction, once you suffer from it you have got to battle it and keep on top of it for the rest of your life. It is so easy to slip back. But also, like any other addiction, it can be overcome.

  1. A lot of people have a perfectionist trait; some more, some less. “I can’t start this project until I have got everything I need and until the conditions are absolutely perfect.” This kind of mindset is fine if that perfect condition is feasible and you have a good track record of starting and finishing your projects. If you don’t, then your perfectionism is probably an excuse for not starting the project at all.

Turn it around and ask yourself, what is the minimum I need for this project? Once you’ve got that sorted, put a start date in your diary and get that project on the road.

  1. “I work better under pressure.” We all know people like that and we might have used that phrase ourselves. Again, there are two ways of dealing with this.

Number one, it’s a good excuse not to start until the last possible moment, and it’s simply a way to put things off. Make life easier for yourself; and divide your project into segments and do one each day until it’s done.

Number two, if you literally work better under pressure, and some of us do, then make the project more challenging. Set mini-goals with a shorter deadline. This way you keep yourself on your toes but are still making timely progress towards your end goal.

  1. If you suffer from a lack of self confidence and feel that you simply can’t tackle the project try one of these options. Find out what the first thing is you need to do to start the project, the very first action that needs doing before anything else can be done. Do that, then find out the next step and so on. Also, divide the project into smaller chunks. Smaller bites are easier to digest, the same goes for project size. If you are unsure of how to do this, find someone who has done a similar project before and ask for advice. That way you get some expert help and you will soon be on the way to completing the once daunting task.
  2. Internalising negatives means that you always look for faults within yourself. If you do this, you will quite easily come up with negative emotions, such as “I’m lazy that’s why I don’t get things done” or “I’m stupid that’s why I don’t know where to start”. First of all, I can assure you that none of this is true. You are neither lazy nor stupid or anything else of that kind. You might lack motivation or not be an expert on a particular subject but you can easily do something about that.

Why don’t you think of a treat that you reward yourself with, once you have completed the first part of the task and then keep rewarding yourself for every bit that you achieve until the project is completed. And just as with lack of self confidence, there is no shame in asking people for help and advice on how to tackle a particular project. We don’t all have to reinvent the wheel and most people are very happy to share their skills and knowledge.

  1. Externalised positives are usually the reverse side of the same coin as internalised negatives. It means that you attribute anything positive that you do to outside influences and not to your skills and abilities, such as “I was lucky last time and it was easy. I could never do that again.” It is usually a sign of lack of self confidence.

Achieving something has most often nothing to do with luck. It is more likely to be the result of hard work and skill. Luck is good for gambling and that’s about it. And when you found something easy then you had the skills and talent to do it and nothing less. Don’t hide your light under a bush – as the saying goes and be proud of your achievements – especially when it comes to what you tell yourself. We are usually our own worst critics and forget to be our own strongest supporters.

~~~

Procrastination is opportunity’s assassin.

Victor Kiam

~~~

She said: “It’s just to hot to wear clothes today,” said Jack as he stepped out of the shower.  “Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?”

“Probably that I married you for your money.”

~~~

But seriously folks, plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

~~~

Here are a few things we have learned over the years that might make your travels more pleasant…

Find the flusher. European bathrooms are strange but, don’t panic it’s in there somewhere.

If the front desk clerk at your hotel is behind bullet-proof plexiglas, find another hotel.

Swiss border guards carry machine guns and seem well versed in their use. Also their guard dogs can drive cars and are quick to take offence.

If you get on a ferry with 200 drunken Danish soccer fans, well … you asked for it.

At Heathrow Airport, the shortest distance between two points is not a straight line. There is no shortest distance between two points at Heathrow.

There is a direct correlation between fatigue and proximity of screaming infants on overseas flights: the more exhausted you are, the closer the screaming infant.

~~~

The other line always moves faster until you get in it.

~~~

A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn’t understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew with a seat open was the one on the front row.

So as not to make a fool of himself, this recruit decided to pick someone out of the crowd to imitate. He chose to follow the man sitting next to him on the front pew. As they sang, the missionary tried to follow along.

When the man stood up to pray, the missionary recruit stood up too. When the man sat down, he sat down. When the man took the cup and bread for the Lord’s Supper, he took the cup and bread. During the preaching, the recruit didn’t understand a thing. He just sat there and tried to look just like that man in the front pew.

Then he perceived that the preacher was giving announcements. People clapped, so he looked to see if the man was clapping. He was, and so the recruit clapped too. Then the preacher said some words that he didn’t understand and he saw the man next to him stand up. So he stood up too. Suddenly a hush fell over the entire congregation. A few people gasped.

He looked around and saw that nobody else was standing, so he sat down.

After the service ended, the preacher stood at the door shaking the hands of those who were leaving. When the missionary recruit stretched out his hand to greet the preacher, the preacher said, in English: “I take it you don’t speak Spanish.”

The missionary recruit replied: “No I don’t. Is it that obvious?”

“Well yes,” said the preacher, “I announced that the Acosta family had a new-born baby boy and would the proud father please stand up.”

~~~

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting of until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.

Napoleon Hill

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Hooray, another Day!

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!

Dr. Seuss

Amazing

Here we go again a fresh new week and a brand new day to enjoy. I have found as I have grown older that it is worthwhile to treat each new day as a gift. Each one marks a new beginning, all the trials and tribulations of yesterdays are behind us and what lies before us after today is yet a mystery. Each one is too valuable to let just slip by so it is worth investing in making it as good as possible.

My day today will include the first of five weeks of dental work to make sure I’ll continue to be able to chew my food and that is a worthwhile endeavor. I intend to enjoy another fall like day with all it has to offer. I’ll do it as I run a few errands. Oh and of course I will soon be off to the YMCA to get my body moving for the day ahead.

Here is a piece I saved that was written by an unknown author that I recommend that everybody read. You don’t have to be as old as I am to make everyday special.

YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.

Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,

Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.

All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.

We cannot undo a single act we performed.

We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

 

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.

With its possible adversities, Its burdens,

Its large promise and poor performance.

Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow’s Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.

Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

This just leaves only one day . . . Today.

Any person can fight the battles of just one day.

It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities – yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.

It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

 

Let us therefore live but one day at a time.

~~~

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.

Thich Nhat Hanh

~~~

The Pentagon once did a study on why so many American Servicemen marry women in the countries where they’re stationed.  Contrary to popular belief, loneliness had nothing to do with it. Once the men rotated back to the US, all their in-laws were thousands of miles away…

~~~

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: You find the present tense and the past perfect.

~~~

Everybody has a good excuse for not attending church. If you take those excuses and apply them to other things we do (or don’t do), like eating, they might look like this list:

  1. I was forced to eat as a child.
  2. People who eat all the time are hypocrites; they aren’t really hungry.
  3. There are so many different kinds of food, I can’t decide what to eat.
  4. I used to eat, but I got bored and stopped.
  5. I only eat on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter.
  6. None of my friends will eat with me.
  7. I’ll start eating when I get older.
  8. I don’t really have time to eat.
  9. I don’t believe that eating does anybody any good. It’s just a crutch.
  10. Restaurants and grocery stores are only after your money.

~~~

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

~~~

George loves the race track. One day he was there betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt when he noticed this priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, this horse – a very long shot – won the race. George was most interested to see what the priest did the next race. Sure enough, he watched the priest step out onto the track as the 5th race horses lined up, and placed his blessing on the forehead of one of the horses. George made a beeline for the window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race. George collected his winnings and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest bestowed his blessing on for the 6th race. The priest showed, blessed a horse, George bet on it, and won! George was elated.

As the day went on, the priest continued blessing one of the horses, and it always came in first. George began to pull in some serious money, and by the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true.

He made a quick stop at the ATM and withdrew every penny he owned, and awaited the priest’s blessing that would tell him which horse to place the bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears and hooves of one of the horses. George placed his bet – every cent he owned – and watched the horse come in dead last. George was dumbfounded. He made his way to the track, and when he found the priest, he demanded, “What happened, Father? All day you blessed horses and they won. The last race, you bless a horse and he loses. Now I’ve lost my life savings, thanks to you!!”

The priest nodded wisely and said, “That’s the problem with you Protestants…you can’t tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites!”

~~~

She said: If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

~~~

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

Groucho Marx

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Happy days are here again

Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.

Dale Carnegie

aristotle

I spent most of yesterday sleeping and eating following my 6:30 AM Colonoscopy. I had spent more than a day fasting and had little sleep the night before due to the required pre-op prep work and constant trips to the bathroom. The good news was it went well, only two polyps to remove versus last time when he cut out eleven. Things look so good that I may never get another. So needless to say I am happy. Of course I am usually happy so maybe today I am in an unusually happy a state.

Luckily I always start my day assuming I will be happy and I am almost always right. Here is an article that may help you do the same.

How to have a happy start to the day (even if you’re not a morning person)

By: Susanna Haloneng

Every day is a new opportunity for us to have a happy, productive, fun day. At the end of the day, we want to look back at the day and be amazed with how well everything went. Having a happy start of the day sets you up better to have good days. It means you will feel more energized to start your day as well as more prepared to deal with unexpected challenges. To help you have a happy start to the day, there are a few things you can do.

  • Have a good, healthy breakfast. It’s surprising how easy this sounds but how difficult it can be. Eating a croissant on the go or at your desk when you get to work is not ideal. Sit down to eat your balanced, nutritious breakfast and savor every bite (think porridge, muesli with yogurt & fruit, omelet). The nutritionists didn’t lie when they said breakfast is the most important meal of the day – it starts your body systems up and gives you the energy boost you need to get your brain working in the morning.
  • Start the day with exercise. If you’re a sporty one and up for getting up 30 minutes earlier, go for a quick jog in the fresh air. If you’re not quite the morning person and not a fan of chilly mornings, simply get off the bus one stop earlier when heading to work so you can walk longer to get the blood flowing. Car drivers? Park farther away from the office or walk around the office building before going in.
  • Use positive visualization. Have you got an important meeting or a challenge you’re nervous about? Visualize the ideal situation and believe in making that happen. It helps you put into a more confident, positive mindset which in turn will make you more likely to deal with the challenge more effectively.
  • Dress to feel good. From socks to matching underwear, every bit counts. When you feel good with what you’re wearing, you will feel more confident and more productive. I know this can be a tricky one, especially for you ladies (at least I struggle with this sometimes) but it’s got to be done. You can even decide on the outfit the night before and have set outfits you know are good for certain special occasions.

Bonus: Say thanks for what you have. The gratitude journal is very good in putting you into a happier state. Some choose to do it at the end of the day writing down 3 things you’re grateful for from today. However you can also start the day thinking of what you’re grateful for as it also sets your mind up for more positivity so you’re more likely to notice the good things throughout the day.

~~~

“The belief that youth is the happiest time of life is founded on a fallacy. The happiest person is the person who thinks the most interesting thoughts, and we grow happier as we grow older.”

William Phelps

~~~

QUOTES FROM 11-YEAR-OLDS’ SCIENCE EXAMS:

“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”

“When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.”

“When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide”

“Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.”

“Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.”

~~~

Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

~~~

A man was going out of town and needed to board his horse for a couple of months. He asked a local farmer about it and was told, “Sure, but I charge $50 per week, and I keep the manure.”

The fellow can’t afford that, so the farmer referred him to ol’ Jones, down the road. When approached with the request, Jones said, “Yup, I can do it for $40 a week, and I keep the manure.”

This is still too much, and Jones suggested that he try Mr. Brown. When our desperate friend asked Mr. Brown, he is surprised to hear, “Sure, Sonny. I’ll be glad to for $5 a month.”  With delight, the young man exclaimed, “WOW! I suppose for that price you’ll want to keep the manure.” The old man looked at him with kind of a squint, and replied, “Feller, for $5 a month, there ain’t gonna be none!”

~~~

Son to father:  Can you help me with my ethics homework, or would that be missing the point?

~~~

The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard. The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled. It’s beyond me,” said the father, “how you got it together without even reading instructions.”

“To tell the truth,” replied the old-timer, “I can’t read, and when you can’t read, you’ve got to think.”

~~~

Lively infants can make days shorter, nights longer, love stronger, bank accounts smaller, and the future brighter.

~~~

A man driving in southern Indiana saw a sign that read, “LAST CHANCE FOR $1.75 GAS.”

As he was getting his change from the attendant, he asked, “How much is gas in Kentucky?”

“A dollar fifty.”

~~~

One reason it’s often difficult to coax men to go to church is that men aren’t interested in what other men are wearing.

~~~

The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, “Where do you want to go?”

“Heaven!” Suzy cried out.

“And what do you have to be to get there?” asked the preacher.

“Dead!” yelled Little Johnny.

~~~

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.

Charles Spurgeon

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Here today, gone tomorrow.

Only through art can we get outside of ourselves and know another’s view of the universe which is not the same as ours and see landscapes which would otherwise have remained unknown to us like the landscapes of the moon. Thanks to art, instead of seeing a single world, our own, we see it multiply until we have before us as many worlds as there are original artists.

Marcel Proust

arts

This morning I am slowly fasting and with the preparation for tomorrows early morning colonoscopy I will be spending much of my day visiting the bathroom. Rather than share my thoughts while going through the process I am sending you another Daily from the past. I will be sedated tomorrow instead of being at the computer, so no Thursday Daily this week.

Ray’s Daily first published on September 23, 2004

Proust wrote the above more than a half century ago. I can understand what he meant; I was fortunate to live in Chicago for many years and had access to the Chicago Art Institute’s great collection of impressionist painters. I also have had a chance to spend time amongst the great art works in the Vatican Museum in Rome. I, like Proust, saw the world a little different after each experience. I know many have no interest in art, music, literature, and the humanities, if it is by choice so be it, if it is because of a lack of opportunity to feel it, I am sorry. Many of the good things in life and in our human existence are the result of those who saw the world in all of its forms and used every medium to share their view with us. From ancient Greece to today people like you and I have had their lives enriched because of what others have created for us. I am so sorry for the children of today who have had the arts eliminated from their educational experience because we the public do not place adequate value on those things that can enrich lives. Some say we just cannot afford the cost, I feel we cannot afford the loss of citizens who see more than just the commercial world around them. I think if you take some time to revisit your local museum, go further in the depths of the internet to reach the beautiful things that exist there, or see a live performance of a play or orchestra, you will find that you will be glad you did. Beauty is often hidden, but it can be found if we just open our eyes, ears, and minds.

~~~

Art distills sensations and embodies it with enhanced meaning.

Jacques Barzun

~~~

LUTHERAN AIRLINES, INC.

If you are traveling soon, consider Lutheran Air, the no-frills airline. You’re all in the same boat on Lutheran Air, where flying is an uplifting experience.  There is no first class on any Lutheran Air flight.  Meals are potluck.  Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert.

Basses and tenors please sit in the rear of the aircraft.  Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.  All fares are by freewill offering and the plane will not land until the budget is met.  Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you with the safety system aboard this Lutheran Air 599.

Okay then, listen up: I’m only gonna say this once.  In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so will Captain Olson because we fly right around 2000 feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably indicate the Second Coming or something of that nature, and I wouldn’t bother with those little masks on the rubber tubes.  You’re gonna have bigger things to worry about than that. Just stuff those back up in their little holes.  Probably the masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest with you, we’re going to have quite a bit of at 2000 feet .. sort of like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.

In the event of a water landing, I’d say forget it.  Start saying the Lord’s Prayer and just hope you get to the part about forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us, which some people say “trespass against us,” which isn’t right, but what can you do?

The use of cell phones on the plane is strictly forbidden, not because they may interfere with the plane’s navigational system, which is seat of the pants all the way.  No, it’s because cell phones are a pain in the wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mouth on the side of your head.

We’re going to start lunch right about noon and it’s buffet style with the coffee pot up front.  Then we’ll have the hymn sing; hymnals in the seat pocket in front of you.  Don’t take yours with you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kidding!

Right now I’ll say Grace.  “Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let these gifts to us be blest.  Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Duluth or pretty close.  Amen.”

~~~

“Be what you are. Do what you do. Do it the best you can, and you’re going to have such a good life.”

Helen Gurley Brown

~~~

Members of the Methodist women’s church circle were concerned because a widowed church member and her three small daughters were staying away from services. Finding the reason to be a lack of suitable clothes, the ladies’ group corrected the situation in a generous manner; they held a bake sale and used the money to buy new clothes for all the children and the mother. When the little girls still failed to appear at Sunday School, some of the ladies called to inquire about their absence. The mother thanked them sweetly for the clothing and explained…..

“The girls looked so nice, we decided to go to the Presbyterian Church down the street.”

~~~

If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.

If you want happiness for a day, go fishing.

If you want happiness for a month, get married.

If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune.

If you want happiness for a lifetime, help others.

Chinese Proverb

~~~

Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident golfer said to his caddy, “Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me.” The caddy suggested that he instead play it safe and hit a 4-iron, then a wedge, THEN a putt. The golfer was insulted and proceeded to scream and yell at the caddy telling him that he was a better golfer than that and how dare he underestimate his game!

Giving in the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had asked for. He then proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled about fifteen yards off the front of the tee. Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, “And now for one heck of a putt…”

~~~

After you’ve heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

~~~

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. ‘Look, Miss,’ said the foreman, “Do you have any experience in picking lemons?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, yes!” she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times!”

~~~

Contrary to popular belief, used-car salesmen are fairly honest with their customers.  It’s usually a condition of their parole.

~~~

Our humanity is a poor thing, except for the divinity that stirs within us.

Francis Bacon

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Enjoy the show!

The drama is not dead but liveth, and contains the germs of better things.

WILLIAM ARCHER

! theatre_quote_3

I probably have told you before that one of the things I have learned to enjoy since my retirement has been live theatre. In my city we have many opportunities to see fine performances in everything from local amateur productions to full blown Broadway touring companies. In fact there are live plays and musicals being presented in communities of all sizes all over my country.

In the past two weeks I saw a production of Little Women – the musical, offered by the longest running community theatre company in America and was surprised to be thoroughly entertained by a show I had known nothing about; Next I saw South Pacific at a midweek performance at our Beef and Boards dinner theatre which provides top theatrical professional talent presenting year around performances of some of the great musical comedies of all time. That was followed by attending a great presentation of the Fantastiks at the Actors Theatre of Indiana, an organization founded by three highly talented New York actors and as usual I loved their show.

Yep theatre is alive and well in my city and it enriches my life. If you are ever in the neighborhood stp by you will be glad you did, if you’re not nearby there is always something to see where you are. Here are selections from an article written by Chicago author Kim Z Dale a few years ago that I hope motivates you to go see a show.

How to Enjoy Theatre

In a world where we are doing more and more interacting via screens it is refreshing to occasionally share an experience in the presence of other human beings. Sure, live tweeting a TV show is one way to enjoy entertainment with a crowd, but there is no substitute for being in the same room as your fellow audience members while performers put on a show right before your eyes. That is, I like live theatre.

A lot of people don’t go to theatre and may even claim they don’t like it. Theatre is just a form of entertainment like television or movies. Just like television and movies the content of theatre varies widely in tone and style. There is some theatre to appeal to every taste.

I blame high school for why so many adults have no interest in theatre. Many people still associate theatre with being forced to read Shakespeare in English class or with the antisocial behavior of the “drama geeks.” Unfortunately, neither iambic pentameter nor angst ridden teenagers are the best ambassadors for this exciting art form. If your view of theatre has been tainted by such memories, please give it another chance.

Others avoid theatre because it is unfamiliar, and they don’t know how to know what to see. Or they think they can’t afford it. Or theatre just seems so foreign a concept that they don’t know what to expect. If that you fall into one of those categories I’ve made this list to help you. Some people spell it “theatre” while others spell it “theater.” 

  • Don’t think too hard about it. Go see a play. Seriously, it’s the best way to know whether you like it.
  • If you normally see musicals try out a “straight” play for once. If you normally don’t go to the theatre just go.
  • How should you pick a show? Ask for recommendations from a theatre loving friend (if you have one). Ideally ask someone who has similar tastes in other forms of entertainment.
  • Take a chance. If a poster catches your eye or you notice a theatre in your neighborhood, be adventurous and just go.
  • Consider smaller theatres. Typically the bigger the theatre (both in name and size), the bigger the ticket price. Neighborhood, non-equity theatres are generally more affordable than their nationally acclaimed counterparts.

Enjoy the show!

~~~

Movies will make you famous; Television will make you rich; But theatre will make you good.

Terrence Mann

~~~

A new convert to Catholicism decided to go to confession to deal with his transgression. In the confessional, he told the priest that he had sinned. “What was your sin, my son?” asked the priest. “I stole some lumber, Father,” replied the man. “How much lumber did you steal?” asked the priest. “Father, I built my German Shepherd dog a nice new doghouse.” The priest replied, “Well, that’s not so bad.” The man continued, “Father, I also built myself a 4-car garage.” “Well, now, that’s a little more serious.” “Father, there’s more. In addition to the doghouse, the 4-car garage, I also built a 5 bedroom, 4 bath house!”

With a pause, the priest finally spoke. “That is a little more serious. I’m afraid you’ll have to make a novena.”

“Father, I’m not sure what a ‘novena’ is, but if you’ve got the blueprints, I’ve got the lumber!”

~~~

“Why is it that all of the instruments seeking intelligent life in the universe are pointed away from Earth?”

~~~

This guy called up his lawyer to tell him he was filing for divorce, and the lawyer inquired as to the grounds for the suit. “I’ve got grounds, all right,” sputtered the irate husband. “Can you believe my wife told me I’m a lousy lover?”

“That’s why you’re suing?” pursued his lawyer.

“Of course not. I’m suing because she knows the difference.”

~~~

Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.

Booth Tarkington

~~~

During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the class instruction in unarmed self-defense. After he presented a number of different situations in which they might find themselves, he asked a student, “What steps would you take if someone were coming at you with a big, sharp knife?”

The student replied. “BIG ones.”

~~~

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.

James Oppenheim

~~~

Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, “What kind of boy did your daughter marry?”

“Oh, he’s wonderful,” gushed the mother. “He lets her sleep late, wants her to go to the beauty parlor regularly, and insists on taking her out to dinner every night.”

“That’s nice,” said the woman. “What about your son?”

“I’m not so happy about that,” the mother sighed. “His wife sleeps late, spends all her time in the beauty parlor, and makes them eat take-out meals!”

~~~

I NEED SOMEBODY BAD… ARE YOU BAD?

~~~

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eye glasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. “What seems to be the problem, madam?”

“I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.”

~~~

All the world’s a stage,

         And all the men and women merely players;

         They have their exits and their entrances,

         And one man in his time plays many parts.

William Shakespeare

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Interesting week ahead

“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.”

Dalai Lama XIV

Optimistic1

This will be an interesting week for me as I get to deal with health issues. They have made changes in my medications to try to lower my blood pressure. Tomorrow my Dentist will see what we can do about a significant dental problem. The next day I fast and am limited to clear liquids followed by my pre-colonoscopy prep work. I will be at the Indiana University Surgical Center at 5 AM the next day getting ready for the 6:30 AM invasion of my intestines where the Doc will snip and slice any bad growths. I have history of being a prolific producer of precancerous growths so even though they don’t usually do colonoscopies on folks as ancient as I am they make an exception in my case.

Since this will be about my eleventh experience I treat it as a weight loss program as much as a health precaution. I will not be publishing the Daily on Thursday since they won’t let me bring a computer to the operating room. One of the benefits of the procedure will be that the rest of the month will seem a lot better than it may really be.

Here is an edited article written by life coach Margie Warrell that is similar to how I mentally prepare for my surgeries.

The Power of Optimism

Below are 7 strategies for filling up your cup of optimism. My challenge to you is to try at least one of these and notice the difference it makes to your outlook and your life.

SET YOUR INTENTION – Before you step out of bed (and if you forget, before you leave your home) take one minute to set your intention for the day by coming up with one word that resonates with you about the attitude or spirit you want to bring to the day. Being intentional acts like a compass and helps you better focus your time and energy.

PERFORM AN ACT OF COURAGE – Often the very thing we need to improve our circumstances requires courage. That is, closing the gap between where you are now and where you would like to be in life will require stepping outside your comfort zone and doing something that scares you in some way. There is no better way to build self-confidence than doing something that stretches you as it teaches you that you are capable of more than you thought you were.

REFRAME A PROBLEM INTO AN OPPORTUNITY – You can’t solve your problems by complaining about them. But you can solve them (or if they are unsolvable, learn to accept them) by reframing them so that you can approach them from a new angle. To quote Einstein: “Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking at which they were created.”

Where pessimists see problems, optimists find opportunities. If you change the way you look at your problems, your problems change and transform into a rich array of opportunities to grow, learn and discover inner resources you never knew you had!

AVOID ENERGY DRAINERS – Optimism is contagious. So too is pessimism. If you are struggling to feel as positive as you would like, don’t spend your time hanging out with “emotional vampires” — those people who suck the life out of you with their complaints and commentary about everything that is wrong with the world (and the people in it).

CARRY YOURSELF LIKE AN OPTIMIST – If you change how you hold yourself physically, it will change how you feel emotionally. Slump your shoulders, pout your bottom lip and look down to the ground and optimism (and opportunity) will elude you. But stand tall, chin up, smile and engage with people as though you were the outgoing, confident, optimistic and successful person you aspire to be, and you will attract all sorts of positive people and opportunities into your life.

LIGHTEN UP  Why is it that comedians tend to live very long lives? It’s because they have become so masterful at finding the humor in even the most unfunny situations. While it’s not always easy to see the lighter side of things, it’s always helpful.

EXERCISE – If you are one of those people who never exercises, then I’m sorry, I know you hate to hear it again and again but EXERCISE IS VERY GOOD FOR YOU. Not only is it great for you physically, but it’s a very potent drug for making you feel better psychologically.

~~~

“Those who wish to sing, always find a song.”

Swedish Proverb

~~~

“Are you my caddie?” asked MacTavish.

“Aye, sir,” replied the boy.

“And are you any good at finding lost balls?”

“Aye, sir.”

“Right, then. Find one and let’s get the game started.”

~~~

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.”

Jackie Mason

~~~

A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, “Marian, Marian!”

Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, “You shouldn’t call me ‘Marian.’  I’m your mother, you know.”

“I know,” said the child, wise beyond his years, “but the store is full of mothers!”

~~~

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven.”

John Milton

~~~

Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. All three had offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day. The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine. As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, “Head up or head down?”

“Head up,” said the doctor.

“Blindfold or no blindfold?”

“No blindfold.”

So the executioner raised the blade, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade — and stopped barely an inch above the doctor’s neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn’t succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.

Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine. “Head up or head down?” said the executioner. “Head up.”

“Blindfold or no blindfold?”

“No blindfold.”

So the executioner raised the blade, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade — and stopped an inch above the chemist’s neck. Well, the law stated that if the execution didn’t succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the chemist was set free.

Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine. “Head up or head down?”

“Head up.”

“Blindfold or no blindfold?”

“No blindfold.”

So the executioner raised the blade, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer yelled out: “WAIT! I see what the problem is!”

~~~

The predominant quality of successful people is optimism…. Your level of optimism is the very best predictor of how happy, healthy, wealthy, and long-lived you will be.

BRIAN TRACY

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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