Ray's musings and humor

Archive for October, 2020

Be Brave

Ray’s Daily

October 29, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.

H. Jackson Browne

I have a number of chores this morning so here is another reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on O)ctober 29, 2004

~~~

I am worried that fear is having too great an impact on our lives. People tell me they will not fly or travel for fear of what might happen. Friends tell me they are frightened of the consequences of the upcoming elections. A friend recently told me that she feared building new relationships because they might fail. We are afraid of job loss, poor health, falling stock prices, and more. It even seems that the threat of terrorism has driven many of us to the point of being irrational. As an example I know a highly intelligent and successful businessman that won’t ride the Washington, D.C. Metro for fear of a bombing.

What scares me the most is that we will end up withdrawing from life to the point that we miss most of it. If you never travel, you will never see the wonder that exists everywhere in the world, you will never meet the friends you might have made. If we convince ourselves that the election of a political candidate will be a disaster, we will not be free to judge what actually does happen. The world is not black and white but many hues of grey; we need to discern what is good and what is not and do it by understanding reality not what our imagination tells us. Saddest of all is the people would have been so important to our happiness if only we would have let them in. I do not fear new relationships, I am frightened that I might miss one. My life is better because I know so many of you. Fear can destroy any chance we have for happiness and a full life; but only if we let it.

So come travel with me someday. Let us meet all the good people we might miss if we let our fears keep us away. And oh by the way, it is never too late to start.

~~~

It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

This might help you understand why we stay on the same time in Indiana all year. When those of you change your clocks back from daylight saving time, we will be sleeping through it.

Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time in the Winter and while Chicago is then on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago. No longer true- Ray

“The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.,” a ticket agent said, “and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m.”

“Huh? Would you repeat that, please?” Bob asked.

The agent did so and then inquired, “Do you want a reservation?”

“No,” said Bob, “But I think I’ll stick around here and watch that thing take off!”

~~~

Fleischmann:  “How are you feeling today?”

Perlmutter:  I tell you … I’ve got so many aches and pains, if I get a new one today, it will have to wait two weeks before I can even worry about it!”

~~~

What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.

2. They rarely listen to you.

3. They’re totally unpredictable.

4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.

5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.

6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.

7. They’re moody.

8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.

2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room.

3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.

4. They growl when they are not happy.

5. When you want to play, they want to play.

6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.

7. They leave their toys everywhere.

8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

CONCLUSION: They’re tiny men in little fur coats

~~~

“Don’t marry a beautiful person. They may leave you. Of course, an ugly person may leave you too.  But who cares?”

~~~

The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, “Pastor, I will contribute $1,000.”

Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, “Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000.”

Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, “Pastor, I will double my last pledge.”

He sat down, and an larger chunk of plaster fell hitting him on the head. He stood once more and hollered, “Pastor, I will give $20,000!”

This prompted a deacon to shout, “Hit him again, Lord!  Hit him again!”

~~~

“I recently had my Visa card stolen. Now it’s everywhere I want to be.”

Scott Wood

~~~

Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology.”

The town council was not too happy with that sign, so the doctors changed it to “Hysterias and Posteriors.”

This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.”

No go!

Next they tried “Catatonics and High Colonics.”

Thumbs down again.

Then came, “Manic-depressives and Anal-retentives.”

Still not good enough.

How about, “Minds and Behinds.”

Unacceptable again.

Almost at their wits’ end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be acceptable to the council;

“Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends.”

~~~

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

~~~

Esther was entranced with an expensive mink coat she had seen in an exclusive shop, and for days she cudgeled her brain to think of a way to bring up the subject to her husband. Suddenly she had an inspired thought.

“Sol, last night I had a lovely dream.”

“What kind of a dream, Esther?”

“I dreamed that we passed by Saks Fifth Avenue, and there in the window was this gorgeous mink coat — only $6,200. And you know what you did? You went right in and bought it for me, Sollie dear!”

“Say, that really was a wonderful dream! Hereafter, in all your dreams, you should wear it in good health, Esther dear!”

~~~

Risks don’t always turn out as we had hoped, but they always bring greater insight and the reward of living every day to the fullest.

Mary Kay Mueller

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

It is up to us

Ray’s Daily

October 28, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.”

Louis E. Boone

During these difficult days it is important that we do our best to stay positive. I sometimes find it a challenge to concentrate on how good my day will be is up to me. While I do mourn the loss of friends, the isolation and the illnesses created by the Covid epidemic I have learned to not let remorse take me down.

The secret is to focus on appreciating what is still good in our lives. Here is a piece I may have shared before but it as always worth reading.

I have a choice about today

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today and I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school oreagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can appreciate that I have a place to call home.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Have a GREAT DAY … unless you have other plans and please remember, a ‘Smile’ will make the days go better.

Author Unknown

~~~

“Positive thinking is powerful thinking. If you want happiness, fulfillment, success and inner peace, start thinking you have the power to achieve those things. Focus on the bright side of life and expect positive results. ”

Germany Kent

~~~

For my retired friends who are now Wall Mart greeters, WATCH OUT! There are those who are reading the following suggestions for things to do while your spouse is shopping.

1. Pick up condom packages & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren’t looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, ‘Code 3 in house wares,’…and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

6. Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible’.

12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!’

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream ‘NO! It’s those voices again’.

15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loud. ‘We’re out of toilet paper in here!’

~~~

Do you prefer that you be right, or that you be happy?

~~~

There once was a religious young woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” The priest said, “Confess your sins and be forgiven.” The young woman said, “Last night my boyfriend made made passionate love to me seven times.” The priest thought long and hard and then said, “Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.” The young woman asked, “Will this cleanse me of my sins?” The Priest said “No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face!”

~~~

“If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.”

Margaret Fuller

~~~

Shirley lives in Brooklyn, yet she does keep up with the rest of the country, as an example she sent us this:

One or our local rednecks, Billy Joebob, while a total idiot, was a gifted portrait artist. His fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming to him for paintings.

One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house in a stretch limo. She asked Billy Joebob if he could paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request. The beautiful lady said money was no object, she was willing to pay $50,000.

Not willing to get into trouble with his wife, Billy Joebob asked the lady to wait while he went in the house and conferred with this wife. In a few minutes he returned and told the lady he was willing to do it.  However, he would have to leave his socks on so he would have some place to wipe his brushes.

~~~

“Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.”

Lauren Bacall

~~~

She said: I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals.  I used to carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”

However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things.  So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.” My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.

~~~

“It is indeed ironic that we spend our school days yearning to graduate and our remaining days waxing nostalgic about our school days.”

Isabel Waxman

~~~

After bumping his head on our stereo cabinet, my 11-year-old-son, Felix, required stitches.  While the doctor was administering a local anesthetic to his head, I started to feel faint, so the nurse offered me a chair.

My son winced with every stitch, and the nurse told him it was okay to cry.  On the way home, my husband asked Felix if he had heard the nurse tell him it was okay to cry.  “Yeah, I heard her,” Felix replied, “but I thought she was talking to Mom.”

~~~

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Jim Carrey

~~~

Doug meets Bill at the bar after work and is once again looking down in the dumps.  “What’s wrong now Doug,” asked Bill.

Doug replies, “They called in a management team and gave everyone in the office an aptitude test to see what they were best suited for.”

“Yeah, so what’s the problem with that?” asks Bill.

Doug sighs, “Well it seems that I am best suited for unemployment.”

~~~

“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”

Elie Wiesel

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

He Made a Difference

Ray’s Daily

October 27, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one.”

Mother Teresa

Ray’s Daily first published on October 27, 2006

I had the good fortune yesterday to go with a friend to hear Jim Morris, the Executive Director of the World Food Program (WFP) speak at Purdue University. I have always been a big fan of Jim’s since his days in then Indianapolis Mayor Dick Lugar’s administration. Jim went on to become the head of the Lilly Endowment, one of our nation’s largest philanthropic organizations. He left the public and not-for-profit sector for a stint in the private sector before accepting the WFP position in April 2002. As you may know the World Food Program is the world’s largest humanitarian agency, it is the food aid branch of the United Nations. From its headquarters in Rome, Italy and more than 80 country offices around the world, WFP works to help people who are unable to produce or obtain enough food for themselves their families.

In 2005, WFP distributed 4.2 million metric tons of food to 96.7 million people in 82 countries; 35 million beneficiaries were aided in emergency operations, including victims of conflict, natural disasters and economic failure in countries like Afghanistan, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, Pakistan and Niger. Direct expenditures reached US$2.9 billion, with the most money being spent on protracted relief and recovery operations. WFP’s largest country operation in 2005 was Sudan: in Darfur, the program reached 3.4 million people. WFP focuses much of its aid on women and children, with the goal of ending child hunger. In 2005, food assistance was provided to 58 million children, 30 percent of whom were under five. School-feeding program in 74 countries help students focus on their studies and encourage parents to send their children, especially girls, to school.

 I wish I could report that Jim predicted a brighter future for the malnourished and starving children of the world but he could not. War, Aids, climate change, more frequent natural disasters, and global trade policies all continue to take their toll. He reported that something like 25,000 children die each day of starvation and malnutrition. I could feel Jim’s pain as he shared with us the awesome responsibility that he has as the CEO of one of the world’s largest organizations where he directs thousands of workers all over the globe doing all they can for people in very desperate situations.

 I could not help but think how easy we all have it and how more of us need to try to find ways to help. I was especially gratified when Jim stopped for a moment and reminded me that we have known each other for about 40 years and thanked me for all the work Kiwanis International has done in partnership with UNICEF. I was again struck by how this warm and highly skilled man has given so much of his life for others. The world is a better place because Jim Morris does not stop and wait for bureaucracies and red tape, rather he always does as much as can be done as quickly as it can be done. In his business each day food is delayed is a day when some of the children who are our future are lost forever.

~~~

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

Indira Gandhi

~~~

She said: My husband and I were at my high school reunion. As I looked around, I noticed the other men in their expensive suits and their bulging stomachs. Proud of the fact that he weighed just five pounds more than he did when he was in high school, the result of trying to beat a living out of a rocky hillside farm, he said to me, “I’m the only guy here who can still wear the suit he wore when he graduated.”

I glanced at the prosperous, reunion crowd, then back at him, and said, “And you’re the only one who has to.”

~~~

The earth is but one country, and mankind its citizens.

~~~

Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman

“I finished the ice cream.”

“Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs 40 pounds.”

“Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby..”

“I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever!”

“Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl!”

“Darned if you ain’t about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.”

“Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that’s gotta hurt.”

“I’m jealous! Why can’t men experience the joy of childbirth?”

“Are your ankles supposed to look like that?”

“Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.”

“Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water…”

“You don’t have the guts to pull that trigger…”

~~~

The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they’re always assured of having a worthy opponent.

~~~

A convicted felon was given ten years without parole for his latest crime. After 2 years in jail, he managed to escape. His escape was the lead item on the six o’clock news.

Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking little traveled routes, running across deserted fields and taking every precaution he could think of. Eventually he arrived at his house and he rang the bell.

His wife opened the door and bellowed at him, “You good-for-nothing bum! Where the hell have ya been? You escaped over six hours ago.”

~~~

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

~~~

Sharon tells her best friend Ruth, “I’ve broken off my engagement to Morris.”

“Oh Sharon,” says Ruth, “I’m so sorry. Why?”

“Because my feelings towards Morris have changed – they just aren’t the same anymore,” replies Sharon.

“So tell me,” whispers Ruth, “are you giving him back the engagement ring?”

“No I’m not,” replies Sharon, “my feelings towards the ring haven’t changed.”

~~~

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most do.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

While attending a convention, I breakfasted in a cafe, next to two gray-haired Men from the same symposium. I overheard one remark, “You know, this is the First time in 40 years we’ve gone to one of these without our wives.” His pal Leaned back, contemplating what such freedom might portend. “I know,” he Said, laying his menu aside. “Let’s have biscuits and gravy!”

~~~

A young mother got upset when she received a nursery school report that described her daughter as “emotionally immature.”

She responded with a note that said: “If you cannot be emotionally immature at age three, when CAN you be?”

~~~

Irish lass customer: “Could I be trying on that dress in the window?”

Shopkeeper: “I’d prefer that you use the dressing room.”

~~~

The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers and cities; but to know someone here and there who thinks and feels with us, and though distant, is close to us in spirit – this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden.

Goethe

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Moving On

Ray’s Daily

October 26, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

Jon Kabat-Zinn

My lockdown has ended, I can get out of my apartment and visit my wife at her extended care facility as well as see friends and fellow residents. We still have to see what the future holds but today is better than yesterday.

Our coping skills are being tested these days and it is important that we stay optimistic as the Covid virus continues  to infect so many of our fellow citizens. It is not always easy but we can do it. Here is and abridged article from the Mindfulness blog that can help.

5 Daily Mantras To Get Through The Tougher Anxious Moments

By Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW

1. This is temporary. – It’s true! This quarantine and virus won’t last forever—it won’t even last years. Humans can sustain stress for long periods of time. We are resilient. Remember, “This stress is temporary!” Say it again and again.

2. Everything is going to be OK. – The future is unknown, not only now but always. But there is no sense in triggering our nervous system into states of panic. We can tell ourselves everything is going to be OK, and it most likely will be.

3. I am not alone. – People are coming together during this time. You might be physically alone in your space, but we are connected through our common humanity, and we are connected to nature.

4. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time. – When emotions run high, we get overwhelmed. This is the time to slow way down. Remind yourself the only goal is to get through the next minute, hour, or day. Shift your focus to figuring out a pleasant and calming activity that you can do right now.

5. Just because I feel anxious at this moment doesn’t mean in reality things are worse than the moment before. – Anxiety has a funny way of generating worried and catastrophic thoughts. When you are very anxious, it’s important to pause and notice your thoughts. If you’re all doom and gloom, notice that and then remind yourself, “Just because I feel anxious right now doesn’t mean, in reality, things are worse for me than they were yesterday.”

Working with our emotions is a lifelong practice. The idea is to get into an experimental state of mind and have a wide variety of tools at your disposal. Try different calming phrases that have positive meaning for you; try different state-changers to help your mind and body relax. It’s about progress and practice, not perfection. The simple act of trying helps to keep you focused on something productive rather than letting your mind wander.

~~~

“Look past your thoughts, so you may drink the pure nectar of This Moment.”

Rumi

~~~

Etiquette

1. When one hosts a dinner party, it is essential that all the place mats match, or, at the very least, that they all come from the same fast-food restaurant.

2. Entertaining in your backyard? The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who’s muscular and shirtless.

3. My favorite party game is “Pin the Cleanup on the Guests.”

4. Nothing in the world is quite so entertaining as pouring old milk into new containers before having guests over.

5. A good host must always be a STICKLER for attractive food presentation! I always take the foil COMPLETELY OFF the TV dinner before serving.

6. Getting your home in tiptop shape for a party can be fun if you think of it as kicking dust bunnies!

7. Take short cuts! I used to offer my guests instant coffee. They kept whining for hot water to go with it.

8. The best way to prepare a roast is to make an aluminum foil tent over your roasting pan. Similarly, the best way to prepare for relatives is to pitch a tent in the backyard and stay there until they leave.

9. When decorating for a party, be creative with regular household items. Some people might just see a moldy shower curtain with torn eyelets. What do I see? A new tablecloth.

10. The better you cook, the more likely your guests will return. Which is why I’m not usually too hot in the kitchen.

~~~

Warning! I know KARATE!! (and seven other Japanese words)

~~~

Ricky was at the mall and went into a toy shop, picked up a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper fake money and started to leave.

The shopkeeper told him, “Excuse me little boy, this isn’t real money.”

Ricky continued walking out of the shop and didn’t reply.

The shopkeeper repeated himself, and Ricky kept walking.

The third time the shopkeeper called him, Ricky said “What?”

The shopkeeper said, “I’m sorry, young man, but this is not real money.”

Ricky looked at the plane in his hands, looked at the shopkeeper and finally said, “And this isn’t a real plane.”

~~~

Home is where you can say anything you like ’cause nobody listens to you anyway.

~~~

It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The Teacher asked the children their names one at a time, and for each to Spell their name out loud.

When she came to a young Asian boy and asked his name, he Replied, “Ravashanka Vankatarataam Bannerjee.”

“How do you spell that?” asked the teacher.

“My mother helps me,” said the little boy.

~~~

Late to Bed, Early to Rise; Work like Hell, and You’ll be Wise.

Hyman G. Rickover, Father of the U.S. Nuclear Navy

~~~

I have been dieting and I thought I would share with you some weigh-in tips:

1. Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner … as well as in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it’s nice to see how much weight you’ve lost overnight.

2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.

3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset.

4. Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are always five pounds off.

5. Always go to the bathroom first.

6. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.

7. Don’t eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you’ve weighed in completely naked, of course.

8. Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a pound of hair (hopefully).

9. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has to weigh something, right?).

10. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it’s worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you’d stepped on normally.

~~~

Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.

Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.

~~~

Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section. One asks the other if she would like a beer. The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would be queasy about purchasing it. The first nun said that she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier.

The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said, “The beer is used for washing our hair.”

The cashier, without blinking an eye, reached under the counter and put a package of pretzels in the bag with the beer saying, “Here, don’t forget the curlers.”

~~~

“The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.”

Tara Brach

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t Worry

Ray’s Daily

October 22, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow”

Orison Swett Marden

Ray’s Daily first published on October 22, 2007

I really like the Marden quote. I am a big believer in always expecting the best because almost always things do turn out that way. I am sure I have told you before that I don’t worry until it is too late. When things turn out well, as they usually do, I will not have been bogged down in worry. If per chance something does not go well it can be dealt with when it happens. Of course I do believe that I should do what I can to keep the odds in my favor as an example I quit smoking many years ago and I am sure that made a difference in my recent test results.

 While I am not racing or even walking fast today I am pleased to report that my Cardiac Cath procedure indicated that I do not have any significant blockage and will not need a bypass or angioplasty. I do have a lot of bruising and discomfort from the incision and the procedure but it is not bad. I again was pleased with the medical team, nice people but I would prefer to meet them socially and not professionally. I was especially pleased that the operating room nurses were so self controlled. The only thing covered just prior to the procedure was my feet and not one of them pointed and laughed. We’ll see if the nurses on November 8th are equally as kind since that operation will be even more revealing.

 This week should be pretty good as there will be no cutting on my body. Tomorrow I get a CAT scan which just runs me into a tube and Wednesday they will only draw a little blood. Isn’t life grand?

 I am still limiting myself to about one outside activity a day since I am still moving slow, but soon I will again be jumping over tall buildings and more. I hope all of you will have remained close enough that I can catch back up when that happens.

~~~

“I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by Picasso.”

Rita Rudner

~~~

Things You Wouldn’t Know Without Help From the Movies

1. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings – especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.  

2. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade at any time of the year.  

3. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.  

4. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.  

5. It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.  

6. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.  

7. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.  

8. All single women have a cat.  

9. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.  

10. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.  

11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them  

12. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.  

13. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.  

14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.  

15. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.  

16. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.  

17. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity

18. If a killer is lurking in your house, it’s easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath.  

19. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.  

~~~

“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.”

Sir Francis Bacon

~~~

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: “An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s mate is found in a ‘compromising position.'”  

“See, I have a problem with that passion business,” responded the jury candidate. “During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him.” She wasn’t selected for the jury.  

~~~

If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.

Morris West

~~~

Yeshiva University decided to field a rowing team. Unfortunately, they lose race after race. Even though they practice and practice for hours everyday, they never manage to come in any better than dead last.

Finally, the team decides to send Morris Fishbein, its captain, to spy on Harvard, the perennial championship team. So Morris schlepps off to Cambridge and hides in the bushes next to the Charles River, where he carefully watches the Harvard team at its daily practices.

After a week, Morris returns to Yeshiva. “Well, I figured out their secret,” he announces.

“What? Tell us! Tell us!” his teammates shout.

“We should have only one guy yelling. The other eight should row.”

~~~

The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

~~~

“I know the country has been mired in deficit spending and it’s been terrible burden on the country in terms of interest payments. Good news today out of Washington. They have raised the limit of debt we can go to to $9 trillion. 

It sends a great message to the kids: Hey, are you getting an F? Don’t study harder, make the grading curve go out to K. Then your F looks like a C.”

Jon Stewart

~~~

“If parents would only realize how they bore their children.”

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

I was sitting in the foyer of a bank when a young man walked by, and then stopped for a moment on his way out. I noticed that one of the latches on his overstuffed briefcase was unfastened, putting strain on the remaining latch.  

“You’re going to lose the contents of your briefcase,” I warned him.  

Just then the case burst open. He stared at me with something akin to fear in his eyes as he gasped, “How on earth did you do that?”  

~~~

You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come to you because you are depressed. You can change your thoughts and feelings and then the outer things will come to correspond. Indeed, there is no other way of working.

Emmet Fox

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

I miss her

Ray’s Daily

October 21, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.

Mark Twain

My wife has now been moved to our long term care memory facility. While it is located in our complex, we will not be living together for the first time in sixty-seven years of marriage. I am finding it difficult to adjust to living alone. Especially while our community is on lockdown which prevents me from visiting my wife or interacting with fellow residents.

I plan on adjusting to my new life without bitterness. I will do all I can to make my wife’s life as pleasant as possible and keeping my outlook positive. Here is plan offered to help us all stay upbeat.

A recipe for joyful living

Keep cheerful friends.

Keep learning.

Never let the brain idle.

Enjoy the simple things.

Laugh often, long and loud.

Laugh until you gasp for breath.

The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.

Be alive while you are alive.

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

Your home is your refuge.

Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

And always remember: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Author Unknown

~~~

She was struck by the simple truth that sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people.

Nicholas Sparks

~~~

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.

The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”

Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, “Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?”

Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough water.”

~~~

“Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow.”

Mark Twain

~~~

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl.  Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.

“Look,” she said. “We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other.”

“You’re wrong,” the young man declared. “For the past 5 years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his account.

~~~

Good leaders guide the willing and persuade the stubborn.

~~~

She said: Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap.

I carefully removed his glasses. “You know, honey,” I said sweetly, “Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married.”

“Honey,” he replied with a grin, “Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!”

~~~

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.”

Cher

~~~

Grandma Goldberg, a woman of 85, was slowly ambling down the street when she met her physician Dr. Cohen. Dr. Cohen, a dapper graying man in his early 60’s asked the elderly lady—“Mrs. Goldberg how are you feeling?”

For a long moment the woman gave the good doctor a terrible stare and then she said–“You ask me how I’m feeling! I’ll tell you how I’m feeling!! My legs hurt, my chest is sore, my heart is beating too fast and I can’t sleep!!! I have horrible headaches and stomach pains too!”

The good doctor looked at the elderly lady with compassion. “If you’re feeling so awful, why don’t you come and see me right away?”

Grandma Goldberg let out a sigh and said, “I was just waiting until I felt a little better.”

~~~

Q. What’s the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men?

A. Wife saying she wants to talk to him.

~~~

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine”.

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the centre of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens — the horse crashes straight through the centre of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me — it’s this bloody horse. What is he — deaf or something?”

The trainer replies, “Deaf?? DEAF?? He’s not deaf — he’s BLIND!”

~~~

Wear sleeveless shirts!  Support your right to bare arms!

~~~

Cheer Up!!!”

* The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund.

* They say the house didn’t float very far at all.

* Well, at least the operation was a partial success.

* The “National Inquirer” just loved those nude shots of you.

* With the lights dimmed, it looks almost normal.

* The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.

* The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.

* At least we never thought you were guilty like that Jury did.

* The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.

* Those Grand Juries always overreact. Don’t worry about it.

* The boss said while you’re sick, he’d do all your work personally.

~~~

Gene the lawyer was walking down the street and saw an auto accident. He rushed over, started handing out business cards, and said, “I saw the whole thing. I’ll take either side.”

~~~

And as ridiculous as it may sound, sometimes all any of us needs in life is for someone to hold our hand and walk next to us.

James Frey

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Keep Your Balance

Ray’s Daily

October 20, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Here is another Daily from yesteryear

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.”

Brian Tracy

Rays Daily first published on October 20, 2009

It seems like a lot of the Dailies lately have focused on slowing down, enjoying life and ignoring the unimportant. Of course we all have things we must do, things we probably should do and things that trap us into doing what we really don’t need to do. Lately it seems that far too many are so bogged down in just constant doing they never stop to spend time being. The wise know that you cannot keep the engine revved up at full speed all the time, it needs time to slow down and even stop for maintenance for if you don’t it will wear out. We are like that, we need our own maintenance, for if we don’t stop and recharge we take the risk of a real breakdown. Taking a break is not running from the things we must do, rather it is the rest stop that assures that we will be able to do what we do well. It is all a question of balance.

This morning I want to share with you some advice from professional life strategies coach and inspirational author Steve Brunkhorst. It is longer than my usual material from the wise but I think it is important enough to include it.

A Plan for Balance

In today’s fast-paced society, it is normal to fall out of balance from time to time. Our sense of control seems to vanish in a whirlwind of career schedules, appointments, family responsibilities, and a search for more personal time. Simplicity appears to be chance rather than voluntary, and we backslide into chaos.  Today, I’m going to introduce you to a helpful seven-step plan for achieving a more integrated balance in daily living.

1. Identify your imbalance and recognize your current mind-set: If you felt as fulfilled as you would like, what would be different? What is the exact gap between where you are now and where you want to be? This identification may be the most difficult step to take; however, it is essential. Take the time to work through it, and name the gap. Then, notice the way you are looking at any particular issue (e.g., “My schedule won’t allow me any time for myself.”). The process begins with awareness of a trapped perspective.

2. Brainstorm new perspectives: Reexamine your viewpoint. Are you driving your choices, or does someone or something else have the wheel – habits, time-wasting activities, limiting beliefs, low energy, the need for additional skills? Stretch your boundaries to include new ideas – without attachment to any one option. Make a “What if” list (e.g., What if I began my dream job part time, hired an assistant, dropped out of a group or committee, etc.). Here is a great example: What could you do with the hour you normally spend watching TV each day – gaining you the equivalent of more than three 8-hour work days each month?

Ask yourself these questions: “What has been my most effective response to the greatest challenges in my lifetime?” “What is one thing I could alter in my environment today that may be having a negative impact on me spiritually, emotionally, or physically?”

3. Imagine living from your new perspectives: Here, your power of choice begins to expand. Imagine viewing your life through the window of your new choices. Visualize and mentally inhabit different perspectives. Live each of these viewpoints for a moment, as if you were trying on a new garment. What does each one feel like?

4. Choose one perspective: This is your gateway to life-changing action. Now that you’ve tried on a few new perspectives, choose your favorite. You can always go back to others; however, for now, choose one to live with for a month. You will be moving closer to balance.

5. Design a personal action plan: What additional skills and resources will you need? What will be the advantages or disadvantages in all the key areas of your life? What will be the first step of your plan, and when will you begin? What are you willing to take ownership of in order to achieve the balance and fulfillment you desire? Write out a plan that you can easily manage and carry out over the next month.

6. Make a commitment to your plan: Commitment enhances resolve, determination, and mental strength. Without commitment, our plans are external to us, and we remain trapped in uncertainty and fear. When we commit to a plan of action, we move beyond choice. We step into new territory, unwilling to turn back from keeping our desires, values, and actions in harmony with one another.

7. Take massive action: This process is about accepting responsibility for your well-being and taking control of your life. You have identified limiting viewpoints and mentally “tried on” new perspectives. You have become aware of new options, made a plan, and made a commitment. Now, work your plan intensely each day. Learn from mistakes, restructure your plan as needed, and gain from your efforts the most valuable asset you will ever own: experience. Your experience is life’s instant feedback manual. It uncovers options and contains the awareness of choice that will lead you toward greater balance and wholeness.

When you accept this responsibility, not ever delegating your power of choice to another, you place yourself in charge of your outcomes. Your actions will begin to lead you toward additional possibilities and options for creating a more balanced and fulfilling life. The process continues.

~~~

“We need to maintain a proper balance in our life by allocating the time we have. There are occasions where saying no is the best time management practice there is.”

Catherine Pulsifer

~~~

The following reminds me of when, as an adult I was initiated into the Boy Scouts of America’s Order of the Arrow. I was left in the woods alone, with a blanket and two matches, I never got past step 7.

Ray

Sixteen Steps to Build a Campfire

1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.

2. Bandage left thumb.

3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

4. Bandage left foot.

5. Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand)

6. Light Match

7. Light Match

8. Repeat “a Scout is cheerful” and light match.

9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.

10. Apply burn ointment to nose.

11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.

12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled “kerosene.”

13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

14. Relabel can to read “gasoline.”

15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.

16. When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.

~~~

“Every day is a good day to be alive, whether the sun’s shining or not.”

Marty Robbins

~~~

My wife is a shopping expert, here are some tips:

1. Get it now. Tomorrow it might be gone.

2. If it’s on sale, you need it.

3. Never ask your mother her opinion.

4. You can always take it back.

5. You’ll grow into it.

6. By the time you need it, you’ll lose ten pounds.

7. Never believe anyone who says, “It’s really you”.

8. If they’re working on commission, they’re lying.

9. Know when to yell, “Charge!”

10. So many malls, so little time.

11. If you put it on your credit card, it’s not really spending money.

12. Always try to spend someone else’s money first.

13. There’s no such thing as compulsive shopping, just enthusiastic shopping.

14. Shopping is patriotic. It’s good for the economy.

15. If you’ve still got checks, there must be money in the account.

16. You can always get more credit.

17. If you want it, you deserve it.

~~~

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

Mother Teresa

~~~

There was a blonde sitting on the side of the road because her 1968 Volkswagon beetle had broken down. She started waving her arms to get the attention of another blonde who was also driving a Volkswagen beetle. After she was waved down, the second blonde got out of the car and asked what was wrong.

The first blonde said that when she opened up the hood of her car she noticed that her engine was missing. After hearing this, the second blonde walked over to her car, opened up the trunk and said that she was in luck because there was a spare engine in her trunk.

~~~

Every soul is a melody which needs renewing.

Stephane Mallorme

~~~

The young lady walked over to the room where she knew her friend was. “May I see Irving, please?” she asked the woman blocking the door.

“We don’t allow anyone but relatives to see the patients,” replied the woman. “Are you a member of the family?”

“Why-er-why, yes. I’m his sister,” said the lady.

“Oh, I’m so glad to meet you,” said the woman. “I’m his mother!”

~~~

“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.”

Ethel Barrymore

~~~

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter. First woman, “My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me.” Second woman, “I know.” First woman, “How?” Second woman, “My dog told me.”

~~~

“A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your step as you walk the tightrope of life.”

William Arthur Ward

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

I am locked in

Ray’s Daily

October 19, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”

Marie Curie

Sorry for the interruption in Daily deliveries.I had another severe case of the Gout and could not use my righthand.

Ray

We had bad news. One of the residents in our senior community was found to be infected with the Covid virus. So now our residence has been forced to quarantine and we no longer can leave our apartments. 

So I cannot make my daily visit to my wife at the skilled nursing facility in our complex. It also means that there is no chance to interact with others. I especially miss seeing my wifebeing only able to speak on the phone. I do miss the companionship we have had for our long marriage.

It will not be easy but we must make the best of what it is. Here a few tips I extracted from How to Cope With Quarantine Fatigue written by Sara Lindberg

Explore Your Wants – Once your foundational needs are met, beg.

in to explore your wants. Ask yourself: “What would I like to accomplish?” Are there podcasts or books you’d like to flex your intellectual muscles on or different skill sets you would like to cultivate.

Maintain a Routine – While this tip may seem obvious, we can all use a gentle reminder that sticking to a routine is important when life is uncertain. Dr. Alexa Mieses, MD, a family physician, says going to sleep and waking at the same hour each day, eating nutritious food, and incorporating physical activity are all healthy ways to fight quarantine fatigue.

Acknowledge and Validate Negative Feelings

In order to harness these feelings and direct them in productive and adaptive ways, we must acknowledge them to ourselves. Not only can this provide relief, but it also reduces the power these feelings may have over you.

Seek Short-Term Rewards by Setting Manageable Goals – When you set small, manageable goals, you can benefit from short-term rewards, which may help us deal with so many unknowns. Identify something within your control that provides an immediate sense of accomplishment and purpose.

Practice New Forms of Self Care – We all have our “go-to” forms of self-care that are easy to access and typically results in a feeling of satisfaction. But with extra time, and more unstructured time, and an emphasis on health.

~~~

“Life comes with many challenges. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take on and take control of.”

Angelina Jolie

~~~

All I really need to know about Life, I learned from Noah’s Ark:

1. Don’t miss the boat.

2. Don’t forget we’re all in the same boat.

3. Plan ahead-it wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.

4. Stay fit-when you’re 600 years old someone might ask you to do something really big.

5. Don’t listen to critics, just get on with what has to be done.

6. For safety’s sake travel in pairs.

7. Two heads are better than one.

8. Build your future on high ground.

9. Speed isn’t always an advantage, after all, the snails were on the same ark with the cheetahs.

10. When you’re stressed, float awhile.

11. Remember the ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic was built by professionals.

12. Remember that the woodpeckers inside are a larger threat than the storm outside.

~~~

“A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.”

Arthur Brisbane

~~~

An elderly gentleman was reading his recovery-room record at the hospital where I work. He looked quite concerned at one notation. “I know I was in a bit of a muddle, but I didn’t realize I was that bad,” he said to me apologetically. “I hope I didn’t offend anyone.” He was greatly relieved when I explained the acronym in question meant “short of breath” and not what he thought.

~~~

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

~~~

SIX stages of married life:

1: Tri-weekly

2: Try weekly

3: Try weakly

4. Try oysters

5: Try anything

6: Try to remember

~~~

I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.

Carl Sandburg

~~~

Little Johnny’s teacher was having trouble with him disrupting the class by always telling lies and making up stories. So she went to the principal about this and he told her the next time this happened to send little Johnny to his office. Sure enough here came little Johnny and the principal was ready to teach him a lesson.

He told Johnny to take a seat, he wanted to tell him a story. He said, “Johnny, the other day I decided to go duck hunting but I only had two shots. So, I fired my first shot and killed two ducks. They were falling out of the sky and fell into a tree, where they hit four squirrels and killed them. So, the two ducks and four squirrels came falling to the ground where they hit two rabbits and killed them. Just as I was going to gather up my animals, a bear came out and started to get them.

“Then the weirdest thing happened. A little dog showed up out of nowhere and attacked the bear, so I was able to get all the animals I had killed. Now, little Johnny, you believe that story don’t you?”

Little Johnny said, “Sure I do. That was my dog and that’s the third bear he’s got this year!”

~~~

Happiness: The result of being too busy to be miserable.

~~~

A doctor examined a woman and took her husband aside. “I don’t want to alarm you,” he said, “but I don’t like the way your wife looks at all.”

“Me neither, Doc.” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and real good with the kids.”

~~~

“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God…. I could be eating a slow learner.”

Lynda Montgomery

~~~

A high-school geometry teacher, started one lesson on triangles by reading a theorem. “If an angle is an exterior angle of a triangle, then its measure is greater than the measure of either of its corresponding remote interior angles.” He noticed that one student wasn’t taking notes and asked him why.

“Well,” he replied sincerely, “I’m waiting until you start speaking English.”

~~~

When you can’t go outside, how about exploring the inner universe, it has far more potential than the external world can ever offer.”

Prem Jagyasi

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t Be Part of The Problem

Ray’s Daily

October 9, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Civility is not a tactic or a sentiment. It is the determined choice of trust over cynicism, of community over chaos.

George W. Bush

Yesterday I was picked up and taken to lunch by one of the best people I know. It was great to get caught up on what has been going on in our lives. We also spent a little time sharing what we know about mutual friends.

The rest of our lunch focused on how dismayed we are with the political lack of civility these days. That coupled with how todays spread of falsehoods and innuendos reflects on all of us as a people. When our top leaders spend their time calling those who disagree with them uncivil names it sends a terrible message to our children and grandchildren,

It is important that we do not become part of the problem by following the lead of those who hate. We need to remember that we control our lives and our behaviors. My friend is a humanitarian, professor author and one of our cities best people. I am fortunate to have her as a friend, she is an excellent role model.

10 Things in Life You Control

by Jim Allen

There are just a few aspects of life that we can truly control, and it’s useful to know just what those areas are. If you don’t know, you’ll spend a lot of time blaming others for your own failings. Try and exert too much control in areas you shouldn’t and the universe will create some interesting ways to remind of your place. So be prepared an learn the 10 things in life that you DO control:

1. What you do.- Your actions are yours alone. You choose to make them or not make them and you are responsible for the effects of those actions.

2. What you say.- Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also consciously chosen. Like actions, they have an impact on your life and the lives of those you contact.

3. What you think.- Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can’t control. But the things that you really think about, your beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to accept and believe in.

4. Your work. – Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier to say “Oh, I’m trapped in my job because I don’t have a degree, experience, etc.” Hogwash! That’s simple a way of denying one’s responsibility in having chosen the job in the first place. It’s your job and you chose it. If you stay (or go), that’s a choice as well.

5. The people you associate with. – Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down. You make the decision which type of friends you wish to have.

6. Your basic physical health.- Much about our health is a factor of genetics, environment, and exposure. Much more of our health is simply a matter of the things we choose: diet, exercise, drugs, sleep, routine physicals, check-ups, etc.

7. The environment you live in.- Your house, the condition of your home, the town you live in, the amenities available to you are all things you can control, although some to a lesser degree (i.e., you decide to tolerate them or move someplace else).

8. Your fiscal situation. – Having or not having enough money is a factor of what you make versus what you spend.

9. Your time.- You choose how to “spend” your time and how much of your time to give to various activities. You’ll never get more time than the 24 hours your given each day.

10. Your legacy.- All your actions, words, and knowledge that you share while you are living become the gift that you leave when you are gone.

~~~

Civility, politeness, it’s like a cement in a society: binds it together. And when we lose it, then I think we all feel lesser and slightly dirty because of it.

Jeremy Irons

~~~

Radar: “Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.”

Pilot: “Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?”

Radar: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?”

~~~

“I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!”

Tom Lehrer

~~~

She married him because he was such a “strong man” She divorced him because he was such a “dominating male.”

He married her because she was so “fragile and petite.” He divorced her because she was so “weak and helpless.”

She married him because “he knows how to provide a good living.” She divorced him because “all he thinks about is business.”

He married her because “she reminds me of my mother.” He divorced her because “she’s getting more like her mother every day.”

She married him because he was “happy and romantic.” She divorced him because he was “shiftless and fun-loving.”

He married her because she was “steady and sensible.” He divorced her because she was “boring and dull.”

She married him because he was “the life of the party.” She divorced him because “he never wants to come home from a party.”

~~~

My wife tends to leave well enough alone. Unfortunately, things are rarely well enough.

~~~

The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it.

Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

“Mother,” the nuns asked with earnest, “Please give us some wisdom before you die.”

She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, “Don’t sell that cow.”

~~~

It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

~~~

A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side committal service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns.

He arrived a half-hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.

The pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place.  Taking out his book, he read the service.

As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: “Think we should tell him it’s a septic tank?”

~~~

“A child of five would understand this. Send somebody to fetch a child of five.”

Groucho Marx

~~~

Aspire to decency. Practice civility toward one another. Admire and emulate ethical behavior wherever you find it. Apply a rigid standard of morality to your lives; and if, periodically, you fail  as you surely will adjust your lives, not the standards.

Ted Koppel

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

I will stay positive

Ray’s Daily

October 8, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters

 Epictetus

Over the past few years my main job has been helping to care for my wife. I would give her medicine, food and whatever she needed. My daily chores turned into a rewarding ritual. Now that she is being moved into a permanent resident where she can receive specialized care for both her physical and mental well being, my life has changed.

The limitations created by the Covid epidemic make it difficult to fill the gaps in my days. I will conitue to do what I can to stay positive and visit my wife with a good attitude.

Here is an abridged article that outlines some of the steps I am taking to stay upbeat.

The Best Doctors

My best doctors are: Movement, Sleep, Moderation, Family/Friends, Stimulation and Attitude. Let me introduce you.

Movement. Movement can be anything – walking, skipping, swinging your legs, waving hello or goodbye and millions of other everyday actions that gets our bodies going in one direction or another . . . all without a gym membership.

Sleep. While sleep requirements vary slightly from person to person, most healthy adults, including seniors, need between 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night to function at their best. Sleep comes easy to some and is elusive to others.

Moderation. Today, researchers and scientist promote moderation as a principle of life reflecting that too much of a good thing is bad and too much of a bad thing is worse.

Family/Friends. Yes, family can be stressful. Regardless of the highs and lows, family is an important element in our lives. Friends- these are the family of our heart. People we’ve chosen and, who have chosen us. They’re the forever constant of support, acceptance and a reality check. They love us enough to tell us we’re wrong and the first to defend us when others say we’re wrong.

Stimulation. What gets you going? What causes the light behind your eyes to shine brightly? What makes you smile, think and cheer? Whatever ‘stimulates’ you it should be fun, engaging, and interactive as well as helping you think, learn and understand.

Attitude. A positive attitude, or POSITUDE as my husband and I call it, is the best ‘doctor’ and one of the most important factors in getting you through the highs and lows of life. By changing the inner thinking of your mind, you can change the outer aspect of your life. The best thing about attitude – you control it. You take the positive or negative ‘picture’ of situations you want to. Imagine, the ability to be happy lies within you. Now that’s power!

Written by Rosie Taylor

~~~

Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.

Benjamin Disraeli

~~~

The 5 toughest questions for men are:  

1. What are you thinking about?  

2. Do you love me?  

3. Do I look fat?  

4. Do you think she is prettier than me?  

5. What would you do if I died?  

 What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.  

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?  

The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.”  

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:  

a. Baseball.  

b. Football.  

c. How fat you are.  

d. How much prettier she is than you.  

e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.  

(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, “If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!”)  

Question # 2: Do you love me?  

The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.”  

Inappropriate responses include:  

a. Oh Yeah, loads.  

b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?  

c. That depends on what you mean by love.  

d. Does it matter?  

e. Who, me?  

Question # 3: Do I look fat?  

The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!”  

Among the incorrect answers are:  

a. Compared to what?  

b. I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.  

c. A little extra weight looks good on you.  

d. I’ve seen fatter.  

e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.  

Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?  

Once again, the proper response is always: “Of course not!”  

Incorrect responses include:  

a. Yes, but you have a better personality.  

b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.  

c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.  

d. Define pretty.  

e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.  

Question# 5: What would you do if I died?  

A definite no-win question.  

(The real answer, of course, is “Buy a Corvette!”)  

~~~

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.

Eddie Cantor

~~~

When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at “Mom” and pushed Send.

His mother answered and I told her what happened.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll take care of it.”

A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was “Mom.”

“Martin,” she said. “You left your cell phone at the convenience store.”

~~~

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

~~~

My broker called me this morning and said, “Remember that stock we bought and I said you’d be able to retire at age 65?”

“Yes, I remember,” I said.

“Well,” my broker continued, “your retirement age is now 108.”

~~~

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.

Kahlil Gibran

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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