Ray's musings and humor

We are on our way

Ray’s Daily

September 21, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

Instead of trying to make your life perfect, give yourself the freedom to make it an adventure, and go ever upward.

Drew Houston

life

My wife and me are well underway as we discover life in our new community. We have met some really nice people, we have appreciated the friendly and helpful staff and are benefiting from the exercise required to walk to meals and functions. Oh, and by the way the food is great and we don’t have to do any clean up.

I am not sure we would have made this move if it had not been for our children’s helping us realize it was the right thing to do and the right time to do it. As in Robert Frost’s poem we took the road less traveled and found a better place.

The Road Not Taken

by: Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long as I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth,

Then took the other as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim;

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet, knowing how way leads onto way I doubted

if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh,

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

~~~

It’s time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I’d much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure.

Ernie Harwell

~~~

An extraordinary event was witnessed at a Memphis branch Union Planters bank today. Heather Williams of Germantown pulled up to the drive-thru ATM, put her card in, withdrew cash and then her card, and pulled away in mind-boggling two minutes and 48 seconds. Ms. Williams set a new world record for “Female Drive- Thru ATM Withdrawal.”

ATM Officials were giddy at the site of this remarkable woman. “Oh, man, I knew there was something special right when she pulled up!” Bank Manager Brian Sontag gushed. “She nailed positioning her car right in front of the ATM! She didn’t go too far forward, then have to put her car in reverse, then ease back up a little bit, then back completely out because she was too far from the machine. Unbelievable! ”

As the record breaking ATM withdrawal was taking place, Sontag marveled at how Williams defied the dictates of style. “I was breathless when she got the car positioned right and would have been able to pass that story along to my grand- children. But I almost passed out when she had her ATM card *ready* to insert! There was no digging through her purse! No fumbling with that little white envelope that women store the card between uses. She had it ready — and get this — she didn’t have to check her address book for her PIN number!!!”

Sontag shook his head, amazed. “Williams also didn’t read every screen of the ATM window. She didn’t get on her cell phone and ask guidance from her best friend on the best denominations to withdraw!”

Sontag continued. “While the ATM was processing her request,” Sontag sits, obviously overcome with disbelief, “Ms. Williams didn’t start touching up her makeup! There was no adjusting of the rear view mirror, no fumbling through her purse for some lipstick. This had an enormous effect on her record breaking run since she didn’t have to put all of that crap away when the money came out!”

When the money popped out of the ATM, Sontag reports, Williams was ready. “As I said, she wasn’t putting on her makeup. She was studying the machine and when that money came out, she removed it. Pressed the button to let it know she didn’t want any other transactions — and, because she never took her car out of ‘drive’, she didn’t put the car in *reverse* and back up over the guy behind her!”

Union Planters had a camera on the entire transaction and plans to turning the film into a training video for the ATM-challenged.

~~~

I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.

Booker T. Washington

~~~

He said: My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.

I noticed that their Disney password was “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,” and so I asked why it was so long.

“Because,” my son explained, “they say it has to have at least four characters.”

~~~

“You can always tell a man who is a non-conformist, because he looks just like every other non-conformist.”

~~~

With a man soon to celebrate his 50th wedding anniversary at the church’s marriage marathon, the minister asked Pete to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to maintain his marriage with the same woman all these years.

The husband replied to the audience, “Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions.”

The minister inquired, “Trips to where”?

“For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China.”

The minister then said, “What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Pete.”

Please tell the audience what you’re going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary.”

Pete said, “I’m going to go get her.”

~~~

Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you’ve got.

Jim Rohn

~~~

A pig goes into the telegraph office, fills out a “Send Telegraph” form and gives it to the telegraph operator.

The operator reads it and it says, “oink oink oink oink oink oink oink oink”.

The operator then tells the pig, “For the same price you can have nine words in your message. Would you like to add another ‘oink?'”

The pig looks at the man in disbelief and replies, “But then it wouldn’t make any sense!”

~~~

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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Enjoy your life

Ray’s Daily

September 20, 3018

Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

Amelia Burr:

happy

I hope all is well with you; it is with us. I find adjusting to our new life is fatiguing and this morning I don’t have much energy so I hope you don’t mind a reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on September 20, 2007

It has been some day. It started with a rebirth and ended with a funeral and there is a lesson to be learned in both cases.

Let me start with the rebirth, I have a long time friend who has been a media favorite and community icon for decades. For many years the people of Indianapolis have listened to my friends familiar voice day after day, week after week, and month after month. It was like his job became who he was, at least in the eyes of the public. He is so well known that people everywhere recognize him and express their appreciation for what he did. Through it all it almost seemed that he was defined by his job and that often constrains people from ever breaking out and doing something different.

Fortunately for us my friend decided to walk away from what he has been doing in order to become what he want’s to do from here on out. I say fortunately because the choice my friend has made is to do more for people. He has always had much to offer and now he gets to offer it more often and to more people. All I can say is good for him, I know he won’t be holding up the coffin lid hollering “Wait I haven’t started yet.”

Which brings me to the loss of my former colleague, my friend just lost his battle with Lou Gehrig’s disease. He was only 64 years old. But unlike far too many of us he choose many years ago to lead a very full life, He held a number of positions in various organizations, always excelling in what he did. He had a small business as a side line. He designed software solutions that are in use throughout the country to this day. But those activities were only the tip of the iceberg, he was an avid photographer, a Mayan Historian, an explorer and an international traveler.  In other words my associate lived life to the fullest. He did not allow himself to become trapped in a job that stole all of his time and energy. He raised a family, stayed curious, and never let all the reasons why not stop him.

My friend who is being reborn is about to begin the adventure that undoubtedly will become his best years. And my old friend who has passed on is probably hollering “thanks everyone, I really enjoyed the ride.” In both cases these good people chose not to wait until it was too late to live.

What about you? Are you doing what makes you happy? If not, you might try doing something else, at least some of the time. If you do I think you’ll like life more than you do now.

~~~

Just living is not enough.  One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.

Hans Christian Anderson

~~~

David can’t get to sleep and is tossing and turning in his bed all night, turning this way, turning that way and keeping his wife Elizabeth awake. Finally she has enough!

“David! What’s wrong? Why can’t you sleep?”

“Oh, Elizabeth,’ says David. It’s business.”

“What business?” asks Elizabeth. “I borrowed a million dollars from Samuel next door.”

“So?” asks Elizabeth. “Well, I’m due to pay it back tomorrow.” “So?” asks Elizabeth. “Well, I haven’t got the money.”

“Right,” says Elizabeth. And she gets up, goes to the window, throws it open and shouts: “Samuel, Samuel, wake up!” Samuel comes to his window.

“What’s wrong, Elizabeth? Why are you making all his noise?”

“My David tells me he owes you a million dollars.” “Yes, that’s right,” says Samuel. “And it’s due back tomorrow.” “Yes, that’s right,” says Samuel. “Well, he hasn’t got the money and can’t pay!” says Elizabeth and slams the window shut again.

David is beside himself. “Why did you tell him that?” he asks.

Replies Elizabeth: “And you should be the only one to have a sleepless night?”

~~~

Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.

Janis Joplin

~~~

“Do you love me with all your heart and soul?” asked Becky.

“Mmm hmm.” replied Dave.

“Do you think I’m the most beautiful girl in the world?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“Do you think my lips are like rose petals?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“Oh Dave,” gushed Becky, “you say the most beautiful things!”

~~~

Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

~~~

Two blondes are walking along the beach when a seagull comes along and poops right on the head of one of them.

“Oh dear,” she says. “I have bird poop on my head.”

“Don’t worry,” says her friend. “I’ll get a tissue…be right back!”

“Don’t bother,” she says. “He’ll be miles away by then.”

~~~

“It takes a long time to become young.”

Pablo Picasso

~~~

Useless Inventions

  1. Non stick Cellotape
  2. Solar Powered Flash Light
  3. A black highlighter pen
  4. Glow in the dark sunglasses
  5. Inflatable Anchor
  6. Smooth Sandpaper
  7. Waterproof sponge
  8. Waterproof Teabags
  9. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
  10. Fireproof Matches
  11. Fireproof Cigarettes
  12. Battery powered Battery Charger
  13. Seatbelts for Motorbikes
  14. Hand powered Chainsaw
  15. Inflatable Dartboard
  16. Silent Alarm Clock
  17. A Pedal powered wheelchair
  18. Braille Drivers Manual
  19. Double sided playing cards
  20. Ejector seats for Helicopters

~~~

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.

Grandma Moses

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Now is the time

Ray’s Daily

September 19, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

“Forever is composed of nows.”

Emily Dickinson

Live Now

I am having a little difficulty dealing with my no longer driving. I have been taking for granted the value of being able to go where I wanted to go and do what I wanted to do at any time. I miss going to my fairly regular breakfast place and being served by my favorite server. I can’t run to the store to pick up whatever we needed. I no longer have the ability to go to meetings.

Years ago the Mayor of Indianapolis asked the president of the Urban League and me to see if we could organize some transportation offerings to the elderly and poor who had no transportation to meet even their most basic needs. I have now learned how it must have been for them although we need for little since all of our meals and more are provided in our new home.

Life goes on and I am learning to make each day special in itself. Here is a piece on how we can live in the moment that is the key to enjoying what we do have.

Live in The Moment

By Zorka Hereford

To live in the moment, or now, means being conscious, aware and in the present with all of your senses. It means not dwelling on the past, nor being anxious or worrying about the future.

When we concentrate our attention on the present we focus on the task at hand. We give our full attention to what we are doing and we let go of outcomes.

Seizing each moment in life allows us to prolong its value and make it more meaningful. Rather than seeking quantity of time, when we live in the moment we enjoy and savor every minute. We don’t sacrifice quality for quantity.

Of course, this doesn’t mean we don’t need to plan, set goals or prepare for the future. We can do all of these things and still enjoy each moment as it unfolds.

For instance, if we have set a goal to exercise each day, we would carry on with it while enjoying the actual process, or moment, of exercising (or at least be in the moment of it).

When we train ourselves to live in each moment, we immerse ourselves in it and begin to discover its beauty and wonder. We learn focus and how to manage our energy. Professional athletes understand and employ this kind of focus very well. They know that accomplishment and success are a result of the skillful management and balancing of energy.

To make every moment count we must embrace it. Everything we do and every person we come in contact with deserves our full attention. Even when resting we should savor the moment. It gives us the opportunity to recharge, renew and gain clarity.

Quite often we put huge expectations on ourselves and our lives. We rush to do this, hurry up with that, without actually enjoying the process. What’s the rush? Where do we think we’re going?

If we don’t stop and think about where we’re at, we’re probably missing the point. Instead, when we appreciate each moment and garner the lessons from it, we live consciously, purposefully and responsibly.

Likewise, when we live in the past and don’t let go of painful experiences, perceived wrongs, or difficult times, we condemn ourselves to a present and future of the same. We cannot change the past. We can, however, come to terms with it, know that it’s over, and move on.

Living in the moment means letting go of the past and trusting in the future. When we are positive and optimistic in the present, we open the possibility of a positive and promising future. We owe it to ourselves to make every moment count – now!

~~~

“What day is it?” asked Pooh. “It’s today,” squeaked Piglet. “My favorite day,” said Pooh.”

A.A. Milne

~~~

20 Things I’ve Learned from TV

  1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.
  2. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
  3. It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
  4. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
  5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
  6. You’re likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
  7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
  8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
  9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
  10. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
  11. People on TV never finish their drinks
  12. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
  13. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
  14. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments, and maintain a stern expression.
  15. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
  16. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
  17. Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
  18. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
  19. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
  20. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

~~~

“On a recent survey, 80 per cent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.”

Bruce Lansky

~~~

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day….. 30,000 to a man’s 15,000 words. The wife replied, “The reason has to be because a woman has to say everything twice.” The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

~~~

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.”

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I am grateful

Ray’s Daily

September 18, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

George Bernard Shaw

family

Over the last year or so my wife and me have benefited from the help provided by our three children. It is almost as if they have become our parents. My wife has to get the credit for how great they have turned out as she often was both mother and father as they were growing up since business often kept me away for extended periods.

Their skill, competence and unbelievable support have resulted in my wife and my making the transition into the next phase of our lives fairly easy, I am truly blessed by my wonderful family and their gracious help.

I recently read the following and it reminded me of our children when they were growing up. They did not need Gates’ advice for they behaved as he suggests with the counsel provided by their mother.

Bill Gates on life

Primarily by Bill Gates

To anyone with kids, of any age, or anyone who has ever been a kid, here’s some advice Bill Gates dished out at a high school speech about 11 things they did not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good politically correct teachings created a full generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

—–

  • Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it.
  • Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
  • Rule 3: You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone, until you earn both.
  • Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.
  • Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping – they called it opportunity.
  • Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
  • Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So, before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
  • Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
  • Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
  • Rule 10: Television is NOT real life (nor are video games). In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
  • Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

~~~

Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.

Randall G Leighton

~~~

Louise was describing her new apartment to her mother.  “Mom, you’ve got to come and see it.  It’s gorgeous!  Great sitting room and the bedroom is exquisite.  The kitchen is a model of efficiency and the bathroom…well, all I can say is…the bathroom is out of this world!”

There was a pause, then her mother remarked, “Isn’t that a little inconvenient?”

~~~

Believe it, those were sad days!

In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami.

“Excuse me,” she said to the manager. “My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks.”

“I’m awfully sorry,” he replied, “but all of our rooms are occupied.” Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out.

“What luck,” said Mrs. Goldstein. “Now there’s a room.”

“Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed.”

“Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic.”

“I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?”

“Jesus, Son of Mary.”

“Where was he born?”

“In a stable.”

“And why was he born in a stable?”

“Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!”

~~~

“The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.”

Marty Feldman.

~~~

A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her.

Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the lady’s room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out.

The three cops were standing their waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, “I’ll bet none of you thought I would make it.”

~~~

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.

Henry James

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Ray’s Back

Ray’s Daily

September 17, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

STAYING POSITIVE does not mean that things will turn out okay. Rather it is knowing that YOU will be okay no matter how things turn out.

optimism-c

It has been a difficult few days for us. We have moved to our new apartment at the Forum in Indianapolis, a senior living facility. My wife had some health problems and I ended up having a minor automobile accident. My eyesight is slowly fading so we decided I would no longer drive so we no longer will have our own transport.

We are beginning a new life and we are not letting recent events take us down. What I have been telling everyone is that the good thing is that this week will be much better. And since we did not have a garage at our new place, now I won’t have to worry about snow removal when winter comes. We always try to stay positive but sometimes it is not that easy. Here are some thoughts on how we can do it.

Here are three things that I’ll be doing this year to stay positive.

Travis Bradberry

  1. Separate Fact from Fiction – The first step in learning to focus on the positive requires knowing how to stop negative self-talk in its tracks. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that — thoughts, not facts.

When you find yourself believing the negative and pessimistic things your inner voice says, it’s time to stop and write them down. Literally stop what you’re doing and write down what you’re thinking. Once you’ve taken a moment to slow down the negative momentum of your thoughts, you will be more rational and clear-headed in evaluating their veracity. Evaluate these statements to see if they’re factual. You can bet the statements aren’t true any time you see words like never, always, worst, ever, etc.

When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural threat tendency inflating the perceived frequency or severity of an event. Identifying and labeling your thoughts as thoughts by separating them from the facts will help you escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive new outlook.

  1. Identify a Positive – Once you snap yourself out of self-defeating, negative thoughts, it’s time to help your brain learn what you want it to focus on — the positive.

This will come naturally after some practice, but first you have to give your wandering brain a little help by consciously selecting something positive to think about. Any positive thought will do to refocus your brain’s attention. When things are going well, and your mood is good, this is relatively easy. When things are going poorly, and your mind is flooded with negative thoughts, this can be a challenge. In these moments, think about your day and identify one positive thing that happened, no matter how small. If you can’t think of something from the current day, reflect on the previous day or even the previous week. Or perhaps there is an exciting event you are looking forward to that you can focus your attention on.

The point here is you must have something positive that you’re ready to shift your attention to when your thoughts turn negative. Step one stripped the power from negative thoughts by separating fact from fiction. Step two is to replace the negative with a positive. Once you have identified a positive thought, draw your attention to that thought each time you find yourself dwelling on the negative. If that proves difficult, you can repeat the process of writing down the negative thoughts to discredit their validity, and then allow yourself to freely enjoy positive thoughts.

  1. Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude – Taking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the “right” thing to do; it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%. Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood, energy and substantially less anxiety due to lower cortisol levels.

You cultivate an attitude of gratitude by taking time out every day to focus on the positive. Any time you experience negative or pessimistic thoughts, use this as a cue to shift gears and think about something positive. In time, a positive attitude will become a way of life. 

~~~

Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.

Mary Lou Retton

~~~

“Sir, What is the secret of your success?” a reporter asked a bank president.

“Two words”

“And, Sir, what are they?”

“Right decisions.”

“And how do you make right decisions?”

“One word.”

“And, What is that?”

“Experience.”

“And how do you get Experience?”

“Two words”

“And, Sir, what are they?”

“Wrong decisions”

~~~

Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, I wish you’d come to me sooner.

~~~

A customer called the airline’s reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit card.  The reservation specialist asked him,

“Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card, sir?”

The customer carefully replied, “V-I-S-A.”

~~~

She said: I’m so out of shape that whenever I go to the beach, all the men dress me with their eyes.

~~~

A young executive was working late, trying to impress his boss. As he was leaving the office, at 7p.m., he found the CEO standing in front of the document shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary left hours ago. Can you make this thing work?”

“Certainly,” said the young executive. Excited with the opportunity to kiss up to the man, he turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO, “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

As his paper disappeared inside the machine the relieved CEO says, “Now, I just need one copy.”

~~~

No matter what you’re going through, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you’ll find the positive side of things.

Demi Lovato

 ~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

 

Ray’s Daily

September 10, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com

Ray is suspending the Daily temporarily

We are in the final stages of the preparation for our move to our new home at the end of this week. While my family has done most of the work my wife and me are still worn out. They will be deinstalling all my computer gear and hope to have it running in our apartment by next weekend. When everything is in place I will resume the Daily. In the meantime have fun and stay healthy.

Ray

I need to dip into the archives and send another Daily from the past

Ray’s Daily first published on September 10, 2008

 Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume.

Jean de Boufflers

Ray Toon

I have noticed lately when I open my memory album in one of my dreams that some of the people’s pictures have started to fade and others have turned to no more than grey silhouettes. As I believe I mentioned in the past I have been fortunate to have had a life filled with wonderful heroes, friends and acquaintances. They all are preserved in memory each standing still in time at the age we last met. Their images bring up remembrances of shared experiences, good times, and overcame adversity.

Lately I have noticed that those from the distant past don’t stand out as vividly as they once did. Many are no longer with us, more passing each year while others have moved on and we have lost touch. Yet in spite of this my memory album continues to be filled with bright new additions. I now realize that one of the reasons that my life gets better each year is that I am always meeting new people, many who have become friends while others are acquaintances but all enrich my life. And I really appreciate how many of you have added luster through the friendships you have offered.

As I have mentioned in the past much of my time is spent with people who have decided to move to a new phase in their lives that will give them the opportunity to have full and happy time during the years they have left. They often ask me why I am willing to spend so much time with them when there is nothing in it for me. I do the best I can to let them know there is plenty in it for me; I have a new bright memory to add to my scrapbook, one more person has a better shot at life and often they will include helping others through volunteerism in their new life plan.

It seems to me we all have a choice as we age, we can live in the past revisiting the memories we have saved or we can take advantage of every opportunity to add to them. In my experience lonesomeness is more a personal choice than forced isolation.

Here is something Ralph Marston wrote that can make all our lives even better.

Today will soon be over. Yet the value you create while it is still here will be with you for a long time to come.

Today, there are hurts that you can heal. Today, there are disagreements that you can transform into understanding.

Today, there are challenges and problems that can, through your efforts, become positive achievements. Today, there are weaknesses that can, through your attention and persistence, become strengths.

Today, there are visions that can be forged into reality. Today, there are small moments that can become treasured memories.

Today, there are joys that can be brought to life. Today, there is love that can grow ever stronger.

Today is a day that is filled with possibilities. See how many of the best of them you can bring to life.

~~~

To live in hearts we leave behind Is not to die.

Thomas Campbell

~~~

A grandma and grandpa were busy telling their little granddaughter what their own childhood was like: “I used to ice skate outside on a pond during the winter,” Grandpa said.

“I had a swing made from a tire,” Grandma added. “It hung from a tree in our front yard.”

“I rode our pony bareback,” Grandpa said.

“My brothers and sisters and I used to pick wild raspberries in in the woods,” Grandma said.  “We would eat them right off the bush, staining our mouth and fingers in the process.”

The little granddaughter was wide-eyed, taking all this in.  At last she said, “Wow…..I sure wish I’d gotten to know you two sooner!”

~~~

“A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.”

~~~

Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

Here lies the body

of Jonathan Blake

Stepped on the gas

Instead of the brake.

~~~

Little Johnny and Little Mary were talking one day. Little Mary asked “what is the highest number you have ever counted up?” “I counted up to 1,279 once” Johnny answered. “WoW!

Really? Why did you stop at 1,279?”

Mary asked. “Because church was over.”

~~~

Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.

~~~

A devoutly Christian couple felt it important to own an equally Christian pet. So, after careful inquiry, they went shopping at a kennel specializing in Christian dogs.  They found a dog they liked quite a lot.  When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash.  When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied eagerly, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed; they immediately purchased the animal, and went home (piously  of course).

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new Christian dog and his religious skills, they called the dog and began showing him off.  The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn’t thought about “normal” tricks.

“Well,” they said, “let’s find out.”Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, “Heel!”  Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the guest’s forehead, closed his eyes, and began to pray.

~~~

Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.

~~~

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.

Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”

He continued,  “Anybody caught breaking this rule a second time will be fined $60.  Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180.  Are there any questions?”

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, “How   much for a season pass?”

~~~

“Be forever a student. He and he alone is an old man who feels that he has learnt enough and has need for no more knowledge.”

Sivananda

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Our New Life

Ray’s Daily

September 7, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.

Francesco Guicciardini

friends

While my wife and me will bot move into our new apartment if the senior living facility we have been eating some of out meals there. We have enjoyed our meals and have sat with a number of our fellow tenants. We find that dressing up a bit and conversing with others to be a pleasant experience. We have also relearned that the secret to the comradery that develops from new friendships is to be less judgmental and more accepting of our differences.

As always, the way to make new friends is to be likable. Following Browns tips below will go a long way yo help us become the person others would like to befriend,

Instructions For Life

  1. Jackson Brown
  2. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2.Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.

3.Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

4.When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

5.Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

6.Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

7.Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

8.In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

  1. Remember that your character is your destiny.

10.When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

11.Spend some time alone every day.

12.Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

13.Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.

  1. At least once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
  2. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.

16.Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

17.Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

  1. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

~~~

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.

Dalai Lama

~~~

Odd Signs From England

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER’S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

~~~

Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.

~~~

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

“Now, class, closely observe the worms,” said the professor while putting a worm into the water.

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

“Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?” the professor asked.

Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms.”

~~~

By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence!

~~~

A telephone repairman was working late in a big office building and became lost. After a long search of the rambling first floor to find an exit, the spotted a woman at the end of a corridor.

“How do I get outside?” he asked.

“Dial 9,” she replied.

~~~

Mom, I’ll always love you, but I’ll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.

~~~

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited.  He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the auditor scrutinized their every detail.

Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, “You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”

“Why would you say that?” wondered the broker.

“Because you’ve made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career.”

~~~

Pollution is getting so bad, magicians complain there’s no more thin air to make people disappear into.

~~~

Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let’s not be afraid to receive each day’s surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity.

Henri Nouwen

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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