Ray's musings and humor

Life Goes On

Ray’s Daily

June 4, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.

Theodore Roosevelt

Each of us has the rest of our lives ahead. It is up to us to make them as good as possible. Some os may just go with the flow and not take any intiatives make the days ahead special.

Recently I got the following from Joe Gordon that suggests how we can take our life’s boat to some amazing places.

11 Leadership / Life Lessons

The Oar

1.       The oar is the symbol of strength. It’s the only thing that can take you from where you are to where you want to go. The great thing about the oar is you determine whether you put in the water or whether you take it out.

2.       If you don’t think you can, nobody will get you there. If you think you can, you can get around others who think you can… and then you can.

3.       There’s good things and hard things to get through. There’s no bad things. Only opportunistic situations.

The Boat

1.       The bigger your boat is the farther you can go. The more you give, and the more you serve, and the more you sacrifice the bigger your boat is going to get. Little boats sink in storms. Big boats float. Not only do they float, big boats take people farther.

2.       If you’re not willing to sacrifice for what you want, whoever is going to sacrifice more is going to get there. Someone who wants it more is going to pass you on the way to getting there.

3.       If you want to go far in life, make your life not about you. Make it about other people. Make it about serving and giving.

The Compass

1.       If you want to be extraordinary, you have to get around the extraordinary people. Who better to teach you about being extraordinary than the extraordinary.

2.       You can’t see the future but you row in the present. You can’t control the future but you can control aspects of the present.

Closing Thoughts

1.       The Row The Boat lifestyle is about never giving up and not allowing the circumstance to dictate your behavior.

2.       It’s finding a way to think optimistically about everything.

3.       Trained behavior becomes boring habits. Boring habits become elite instinct. The elite get to the elite instinct. The average stop in the boring habits because they lose interest.

~~~

Difficult and meaningful will always bring more satisfaction than easy and meaningless.

Maxime Lagacé

~~~

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

The first kid says,” A circumcision.”

The second kid says, “Whoa, Good luck buddy! I had that done when I was born. Couldn’t walk for a year.”

~~~

Keep running after a dog and he will never bite you.

~~~

THE TOP 29 REASONS DOGS DON’T USE COMPUTERS. YET.

20. Can’t stick their heads out of Windows XP.

19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.

18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.

17. Too difficult to “mark” every website they visit.

16. Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear “You’ve Got Mail.”

15. Fire hydrant icon is very frustrating.

14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they’re browsing http://www.pethouse.com instead of working.

13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee.

12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver

11. Still trying to come up with an “emoticon” that signifies tail-wagging.

10. Oh, but they WILL… with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.

9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.

8. ‘Cause dogs ain’t GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand…

7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.

6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.

5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!

4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.

3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup.alt.pictures.master’s.leg.

2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Do Not Use Computers..

1. TrO{gO BOW DsA[M,bN WOW HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,RUFF.

~~~

Don’t think of it as getting hot flashes.

Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

~~~

Late one night, I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick.

“How old is the coffee you have here”? I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter.

She shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’ve only been working here two weeks.”

~~~

The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

Chinese proverb

~~~

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo.

The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming around the zoo.

This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty feet high. Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”

The kangaroo said, “Oh, about a thousand feet, I think… unless somebody remembers to lock the gate at night!”

~~~

When men send flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.

~~~

An efficiency expert, called into a company to find out why they were losing money, stopped one man and asked him what he did.  

“Nothing,” said the employee.  

The expert turned to another man standing nearby and asked him what he did.  

“Nothing,” was his reply.  

“Oh,” said the efficiency expert, “too much duplication.”  

~~~

Sing the song that only you can sing, write the book that only you can write, build the product that only you can build… live the life that only you can live.

Naval Ravikant

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

What List Are You On?

Ray’s Daily

June 3, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.”

Misty Copeland

I am having lunch today with a few folks who have become my close friends over the last few years. One friend moved away when the Covid epidemic shut is in many months ago. She joined us today just to renew our friendships.

When you reach my age you have to get use to the fact that friends will not be around forever. Here in my senior community there are many opportunities to earn new friends. I use the word earn because it is who we are and how we behave that allows us to develop new friendships. Here is a story that reminded me of how we should view our relationships.

Whose list are you on?

I had to say goodbye to someone. You know I hate goodbyes, so I struggled with what I needed to say to him. But at the same time I discovered something special about how I feel about people and myself.

The following is taken, in part, from the note I just emailed to him:

‘It’s the thing about caring for people. They get into your life, sometimes briefly, and manage to become a part of who you are. Not all people, but those special individuals who arrive unexpectedly and linger there.

How does it happen?

They are the ones who, the first time you meet them, touch you in such a way that they leave an imprint on your heart. They are the people you look for and hope to meet along the way. They make the journey easier. Some become close friends and share everyday happenings in your life. Others just pass through leaving behind bits and pieces of who they are.

Then there are those who are always there, but off in the distance somewhere within reach whenever you need them. You may only see them once in awhile, but when you do you are made better, lifted up, energized by the time you shared with them.’

After reading this I thought about the many people in my life who fit into this group. I realized how many people I depend on each day, sometimes just to get through it. I am blessed beyond measure.

It also brought up this question…’Am I one of those people?’ Wouldn’t it be great if we could become more like the people we personally depend on? Like the old, ‘If you want a good friend, be one.’ or, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world.’

Look at the people around you that you love and depend on daily. Make a list of all of the qualities they possess that you admire and value. Now, take that same list and ask yourself, ‘I am I as good a person?’ Do you reflect those same qualities in the lives of others? Now, ask yourself, ‘Whose list are you on?’

Written by Bob Perks

~~~

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”

Elie Wiesel

~~~

AUTOMOBILE INSURANCE CLAIMS

  1. “The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.”
  2. “I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”
  3. “I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight”
  4. “The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.”
  5. “I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way”
  6. “A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.”
  7. “An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.”
  8. “Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.”
  9. “I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.”
  10. “As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.”
  11. “The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.”

~~~

“The best way to cheer yourself up: Cheer everybody else up.”

Mark Twain

~~~

The day after a man lost his wife in a freak scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.

“We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr Wilkins, but we have some information about your wife.”

“Well, tell me!” the man said.

One of the policemen says, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr Wilkins says, “Go Ahead. Give me the bad news first.”

The policeman says, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in San Francisco Bay.”

“Oh, my gosh!” says Mr Wilkins, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, “So, what’s the good news?”

“Well,” the policeman says, “when we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good-size Dungeness crabs on her.”

“If that’s the good news, then what’s the great news?” Mr Wilkins demanded.

The policeman replies. . .      “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow morning!”

~~~

“Look to the future, because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life.”

George Burns

~~~

At a pharmacy, a blonde woman asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant’s weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

“It won’t work,” countered the woman. “You see, I’m not the mother, I’m the aunt.”

~~~

Mr. Smith goes to see his supervisor.

“Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage; you know, moving and hauling stuff.”

“We’re short-handed, Smith,” the boss says.  “I can’t give you the day off. No way.”

“Thanks, boss,” says Smith.  “I knew I could count on you!”

~~~

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”

Stephen Wright

~~~

Doug meets Bill at the bar after work and is once again looking down in the dumps.  “What’s wrong now Doug,” asked Bill.

Doug replies, “They called in a management team and gave everyone in the office an aptitude test to see what they were best suited for.”

“Yeah, so what’s the problem with that?” asks Bill.

Doug sighs, “Well it seems that I am best suited for unemployment.”

~~~

Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right’. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.

Napoleon Hill

~~~

Early in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.

However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. “Honey,” my Dad finally said one day, “why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was ‘forgive and forget.'”

“It is,” she said. “I just don’t want you to forget that I’ve forgiven and forgotten.”

~~~

Inside every older lady is a younger lady — wondering what the hell happened.

Cora Harvey Armstrong-

~~~

“The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.

“You don’t want to try these techniques at home.”.

“Why not?” asked somebody from the audience..

“I watched my wife”s routine at breakfast for years,” the expert explained.

“She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets,often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, ‘Hon, why don’t you try carrying several things at once?'”

“Did it save time?” the guy in the audience asked.

“Actually, yes,” replied the expert. “It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven.”

~~~

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

June

Ray’s Daily

June 2, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“In June as many as a dozen species may burst their buds on a single day.

No man can heed all of these anniversaries; no man can ignore all of them.”

Aldo Leopold

Ray’s Daily first published on June 2, 2006

~~~

Can you believe it, it is June already. For us in the Northern half of the world summer is just over the horizon. Flowers are everywhere, airconditoners are starting their annual roar, the birds of summer abound, June brides are primping, and time continues to march on. I only wish that June’s pleasantries were shared by all, far too many will die of starvation, dehydration, or the ravages of war during the month.

Besides doing what we can for others we must continue to live in our space. For those of you who live in the US please remember that June is:

National Turkey Lover’s Month – Does this mean that those of us who have been called turkeys can expect love this month? I think not, more likely they are honoring those who devour turkeys and I hope that only applies to fowl and not humans.

National Accordion Awareness Month – Don’t worry, if there is an accordion player close by we will be aware.

National Dairy Month – Where would we be if it were not for the cow and her well used…….mammary glands.

National Fiction is Fun Month – Do not take this too literally, some of the fiction you tell your spouse still may go unappreciated.

National Dream Work Month – I don’t know why this deserves a special month, I know lots of people who dream they are working all year long.

National Drive Safe Month – Does this mean it is ok to drive recklessly the rest of the year, if it does it sure explains what I see on the highway everyday. Today it appeared that many drivers did not know it was June.

National Pest Control Month – OK, where do I send the list of names?

National Own Your Share of America Month – I am fortunate in this regard, my wife manages my share and she manages hers too.

~~~

It is the month of June,

The month of leaves and roses,

When pleasant sights salute the eyes

And pleasant scents the noses.

Nathaniel Parker Willis

~~~

Real Newspaper Ads

**3-year-old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.  

** Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.  

** Vacation special: Have your house exterminated.  

** Dinner Specials: Turkey $3.25 Chicken or Beef $2.75 Children $2.00.  

** Illiterate? Write today for free help.  

** Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.  

** Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.  

** Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.  

** Stock up and save. Limit: one.  

** Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.  

** Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale.  

** For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.  

** Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.  

** We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.  

** Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.  

~~~

A woman who dresses to kill probably cooks the same way.

~~~

The young widow was kneeling at her husband’s grave tending to the weeds, when she felt the grass rustle beneath her skirt.

She smiled and said “Easy sweetheart, you’re dead now ya know.”

~~~

Money can’t buy everything…..but then again, neither can no money.

~~~

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Silverman became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous young blonde woman.

As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Silverman, and said, “That will teach you to pinch!”

Bewildered, Mr. Silverman was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, “I . . . I didn’t pinch that girl.”

“Of course you didn’t,” replied his wife, consolingly. “I did.”

~~~

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

~~~

Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains.

We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were performed to determine the source of the pain.

My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong.

When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone.

I turned to my husband and asked, “Would you like me to call the funeral home now?”

With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and snapped, “Honey, he’s not that sick!”

~~~

The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with is the one you see in the mirror every morning.

~~~

During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in New York City.  They were talking amongst themselves in Yiddish – the colorful language of Jews who came over from Eastern Europe

A Chinese waiter, only one year in New York, came up and in fluent impeccable Yiddish asked them if everything was okay and if they were enjoying the holiday.

The Jewish men were dumbfounded. Where did he ever learn such perfect Yiddish, they both thought. After they paid the bill they asked the restaurant manager, an old friend of theirs, “Where did our waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?”

The manager looked around and leaned in so no one else will hear and said, “Shhhh. He thinks we’re teaching him English.”

~~~

“The degree of one’s emotion varies inversely with one’s knowledge of the facts—the less you know the hotter you get.”

Bertrand Russell

~~~

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.”

“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant an Army guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.”

“No problem,” the tired Marine assured him. “I’ll take it.”

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

“How’d you sleep?” asked the manager. “Never better.”

The manager was impressed. “No problem with the other guy snoring, then?”

“Nope, I shut him up in no time” said the Marine.

“How’d you manage that?” asked the manager.

“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” the Marine explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, good night beautiful and when I got up this morning, he was still sitting there with his eyes wide open watching me.”

~~~

We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Aristotle

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Ray’s Daily

June 1, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

I hope you enjoyed your weekend. Those of us in the U.S.A had a holiday weekend so we had three days to rest and recreate. Here in Indianapolis we held the annual 500 mile auto race and it was a great one. Of course in our part of the world it is Spring with balmy weather which adds to our enjoyment. While we still are dealing with the Covid epidemic things are much better.

I plan on continuing to make my days as good as these past few have been. I will start each day knowing that it will be as good as I can make it. Here are some tips on how you can too.

7 Ways to Have a Great Day–Every Day

BY GEOFFREY JAMES

1. Listen to or read something that inspires you. – Rather than distract yourself with news or “entertainment” that only adds to your stress, fill your quieter moments with music, books, and TED-like talks that are uplifting and help you aspire to be your best.

2. Make your body stronger and more resilient. – When it comes to physical condition, there’s no such thing as staying in the same place.. Take time each day to exercise and eat well–at least enough so you’re headed in the right direction!

3. Review and hone your plans for the future. – You’ll make better decisions and be more satisfied with your results if you know that most of what you’re doing fits into your long-term plans and goals.

4. Do at least one thing that’s worthwhile. – Hopefully your day-to-day activity is a worthwhile endeavor, but if you’re stuck in a holding pattern of busywork  make the extra effort to find something to do that makes a difference and improves the world.

5. Help somebody less fortunate. – Self-centered people are always unhappy because they’re shoveling all their energy into the bottomless pit of their egos. The best and easiest way to get over yourself is to do something for somebody who needs your help. Do it anonymously, if possible.

6. Spend 20 seconds appreciating what you have. – If you’re reading this blog post, you’re probably striving to achieve an even higher level of success. However, if you don’t stop and feel grateful, I guarantee that you won’t enjoy yourself when you get wherever you’re headed.

7. Record at least one good memory. – At the end of the day, take out your journal, smartphone, or tablet and write down at least one positive memory about that day. In future months and years, you can glance through these memories to give yourself a boost.

~~~

“I get up every morning and it’s going to be a great day. You never know when it’s going to be over, so I refuse to have a bad day.”

Paul Henderson

~~~

The Dean of admissions at Bates College in Maine reads through reams of applications from nervous high school seniors, some maybe a little more nervous than others. Here are a few…  

  • “If there is a single word to describe me, that word would be  ‘profectionist’.
  • “I was abducted into the National Honor Society.”  
  • “I function well as an individual and a group.”  
  • “Mathematics has hung like a stork around my neck.” 

~~~

Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It’s what you do for others.

Danny Thomas

~~~

“Hello, is this here the Sheriff’s Office”?

“Yes. What can I do for you”?

“I’m calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He’s drillin’ holes in his farwood and hiding marijuana inside!”

Thank you very much for the call sir.”

The next day, the Sheriff and his deputies descend on Virgil’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They sneer at Virgil and leave.

The phone rings at Virgil’s house.

“Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come”?

“Yeah!”

“Did they split yer farwood”?

“Yep!”

“Happy Birthday, buddy!”

~~~

If you insist on measuring yourself, place the tape around your heart rather than your head.

Carol Trabelle

~~~

The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she’d died and gone to heaven when she reached my very polite and patient son on the phone.  At the end of her long sales pitch, she asked, “Do you mind if we send out someone to give you an estimate?”

“Not at all,” my son said.

“When would be a good time?” she asked.

My son answered, “Just as soon as I dig a basement.”

~~~

Live today to the fullest, because tomorrow is not promised.

~~~

A couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart. “Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!”  

The woman, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, “Ah, Mozart. You’re so right. I love him. Only this morning I saw him getting on the No. 5 bus going to Coney Island.”  

There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at her. Her husband was mortified. He pulled her away and whispered, “We’re leaving right now. Get your coat and let’s get out of here.”  

As they drove home, he kept muttering to himself. Finally his wife turned to him. “You’re angry about something.”  

“Oh really? You noticed?” he sneered. “I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life! You saw Mozart take the No. 5 bus to Coney Island? You idiot! Don’t you know the No. 5 bus doesn’t go out to Coney Island?”  

~~~

Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.

Richard L Evans

~~~

A snail was moving along the beach when he happened to look back behind him and saw three turtles wearing leather jackets.

After moving along for about four weeks, the snail looked back again and saw that the three turtles were still there and closing in on him. So, the snail picked up his pace.

After about six more weeks, the snail looked back again, and saw that the turtles were still chasing him. And they were getting closer and closer! So, he kept on going as fast as he could.

After another few weeks, the turtles finally caught up with the snail and mugged him, took all of his clothes and the keys to his car.

After another couple of weeks, the snail got to a pay phone and called the police.

“I’ve been mugged by three turtles wearing leather jackets! You need to get down here and take a report or do something!” he said.

“Can you give us a description of the turtles?” asked the police officer.

“No, I can’t. It all happened too fast!” cried the snail.

~~~

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Our New Life

Ray’s Daily

May 28, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you.

Shannon L. Alder

Each week more restrictions on our activities are being lifted. What our new normal is going to be is up to us. Whatever it becomes it will not be what it use to be. Favorite restaurants have closed. Friends and loved ones are no longer with us. Traditonal organizations are gone or changed. Now we must deal with the changes.

Building our new life is both challenging and an opportunity for us to make it worthwhile. Recently Marc Chernoff sent the following that contains thoughts on how we can make the best of the days ahead.

5 Things You Learn as You Let Go of the Uncontrollable

1. The most powerful changes happen in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over everything you don’t.

2. Most people make themselves unhappy simply by finding it impossible to accept life just as it is presenting itself right now.

3. The secret to getting ahead today is to focus all of your energy not on fixing and fighting the old and unchangeable, but on building and growing something new and different.

4. Stepping onto a brand new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation that no longer fits, or no longer exists.

5. Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about something or someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only thing you really have control over is yourself in this moment.

Think about how these points relate to your life right now. Your present response is always more powerful than your present circumstance. A part of your life is unquestionably decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances right now, yet the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses to these kinds of circumstances. Thus, the goal isn’t to get rid of all your painful thoughts, feelings or life circumstances. Because that’s impossible. The goal is to change your response to them starting today…

~~~

The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.

Steve Maraboli

~~~

Father Time is not always a hard parent, and, though he tarries for none of his children, often lays his hand lightly upon those who have used him well; making them old men and women inexorably enough, but leaving their hearts and spirits young and in full vigor.  With such people the grey head is but the impression of the old fellow’s hand in giving them his blessing, and every wrinkle but a notch in the quiet calendar of a well-spent life.

Charles Dickens

~~~

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. “I feel real good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a five dollar bill to a bum.”

“You mean you gave a bum five dollars? That’s a lot of money to give away like that. What did you husband say about it?”

“Oh, he thought it was a good thing to do and thanked me.”

~~~

A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.

~~~

A man from the East Coast is visiting California for the first time, and is conversing with a California native. He says, “I’ll be visiting La Jolla (lah-JOLL-a) next week,” whereupon the Californian replies, “Oh, you mean, ‘La-*HOY-a’?” “Oh. Yeah, I guess so.” Then he adds, “but right now I’m staying in El Cajon (el-ca-JOHN),” and again the Californian corrects him, “You mean, El Ca ‘HONE’?” “Oh. Yeah, right.” Then the Californian asks, “So when will you be returning home?” The East Coast guy thinks about it for a minute and then answers, “Oh, I don’t know, I guess sometime in ‘HUNE’ or ‘HULY’.”

~~~

Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities.

Frank Lloyd Wright

~~~

Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside.

One deacon ducked down and said, “I hope the reverend didn’t see us or recognize my pickup.”

The other replied indifferently, “What difference does it make.  God knows we’re in here…  and he’s the only one who counts.”

The first deacon countered, “But God won’t tell my wife.”

~~~

“True friends are the people who walk in when the rest of the world is walking out.”

~~~

The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.

Someone called 911.

When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.

“It was enough to make anybody faint,” he said.

“My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower.”

~~~

Why can you “slow up,” but you can’t “speed down.”?

~~~

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.

After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married.  “Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?” he requested. Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

~~~

If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go the past that drags you down.

Amit Ray

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Life

Ray’s Daily

May 27, 2921

http://rays-daily.com

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

Maya Angelou

Ray’s Daily first published on May 27, 2004

I, like many others, have been distressed by the things that are happening around us. War, rising prices, medical costs, terrorism, governmental fiscal mismanagement, political polarization and partisanship, these are all burdens we share. What is even more bothersome is the fact that these are legacies we will leave for our children and our grandchildren if everything continues as it is today. It becomes even worse if we let it all get to us and we become part of the problem. My  friend Jen offers the following advice on how to treat ourselves, I would suggest that the golden rule would tells this is how we should treat others as well..

Stop All Criticism – Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

Don’t Scare Yourself – Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

Be Gentle And Kind And Patient – Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

Be Kind To Your Mind – Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

Praise Yourself – Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

Support Yourself – Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

Be Loving To Your Negatives – Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now, you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So, lovingly release the old negative patterns.

Take Care Of Your Body – Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

Mirror Work – Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: “I love you, I really love you.”

Love Yourself .. Do It Now – Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now — and do the best you can.

~~~

“If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.”

Marvin Gaye

~~~

I don’t know if I’ll ever get it right!
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you’re a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.
If you thump her, it’s wife bashing.
If she thumps you, it’s self-defense.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated     woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination.
If she asks you, it’s a favor.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re sexist.  If you don’t, you’re unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain.
If you don’t, you’re a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you’re after something.
If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.
If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re up on yourself.
If you don’t, you’re not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she’s tired.
If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.
NO WONDER WOMEN OUTLAST MEN …

~~~

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
~~~

A message from the rural Midwest: Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross states such as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Michigan, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South Dakota, those states’ Tourism Councils have adopted a set of information guidelines. In an effort to help outsiders understand the Midwest, the following list will be handed to each driver entering the state:

1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It’s called a ‘gravel road’,  No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your car.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to “corn fed” when talking about our women will get you whipped… by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don’t cry to us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for…bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it! You might hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That’s right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.
9. No, there’s no “Vegetarian Special” on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends. We’re real impressed. We have a quarter of a million dollar combine that we use two weeks a year.

12. Let’s get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it’s red. We may even stop when it’s yellow.
13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks–because they want to . So, you’re a feminist. Isn’t that cute.
14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too–and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the bait shop.
15. They are pigs. That’s what they smell like. Get over it. Don’t like it? Interstates 70, 80, & 90 go two ways—Interstates 29, 35, & 69 go the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.

16. The “Opener” refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
17. So every person in every pickup waves. It’s called being friendly. Understand the concept?
18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Just don’t hit in the water hazard. It spooks our fish.
19. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot…his name is “Sir”…no matter how old he is.

Now, enjoy your visit!

~~~

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

Woody Allen

~~~

Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court. The judge asked, “Phil, is it true that the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?”

Phil replies, “Yes Judge, that is correct.”
“And how do you explain this unusual conduct?” the judge inquires.
Phil replies, “I didn’t want to interrupt her, Your Honor.  Momma always said that’s impolite!”

~~~

A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.
The Wizard to the Tin Man
~~~

A farmer and his hired man were eating breakfast at a local diner. Thinking of all the work they had to get done that day, and that stopping for meals wasted time, the farmer told the hired hand that he might as well go ahead and eat his dinner here, too. The hired man didn’t say a word, but gladly filled his plate a second time and proceeded to eat. After awhile, the farmer said, “You know, we’ve got so much work to do today, you might as well eat your supper now, too.” Again, the hired man didn’t respond, but refilled his plate a third time and continued eating. Finally, after finishing his third plate of food, the hired man pushed back his chair and began to take off his shoes. “Hey, what are doing?” the farmer asked. The hired man replied, “I don’t work after supper.”

~~~

If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
Phyllis Diller
~~~

You may have heard the old joke about Shirley, the Jewish mother in NYC, who brought her 6 year old boy to the psychoanalyst, who diagnosed: “Nothing much wrong with your son, just a slight Oedipus complex.

Said Shirley the mom… “Oedipus, schmedipus, the important thing is that he loves his mother”

~~~

“The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars of the sky and ‘the lilies of the field’ — simply and unaffectedly.  Those are the lives that mold and shape us.”

Oswald Chambers

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Kindness Matters

Ray’s Daily

May 26, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

Aesop

Of all the attributes of folks I know that I appreciate the most is their kindness. There is something special about those who like to help others. For these people it is their normal way of life and they do not require acknowledgement for their dood works.

Recently Marc Chernoff shared some kindness stories that I liked, here are two that I think are especially heartwarming.

“It’s been six months since I totaled my car. I’ve been in and out of the hospital a lot ever since with severe back pain. Although the pain has begun to subside, my recovery forced me to use all my sick time and vacation time for the year. But this morning my boss, who is usually ‘all business’ and pretty hard on everyone, called me into her office and told me she talked with HR and donated five days of her own unused vacation time to me so I would still get paid when I go out of town to visit my family for Christmas.”

~~~

“On the way to work today, I watched a teenage boy help an elderly woman with a cane onto the city bus I was riding. He was so careful with her, assisting her every step of the way. The woman had the biggest smile on her face. They both sat directly across from me, and just as I was about to compliment her with having a wonderful grandson, the boy looked at her and said, ‘My name is Chris. What’s your name, ma’am?’”

~~~

“Simple kindness may be the most vital key to the riddle of how human beings can live with each other in peace, and care properly for this planet we all share.”

Bo Lozoff

~~~

She said: So many men… so few who can afford me.  
~~~

“Mommy, my turtle is dead,” Wally told his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.
The mother kissed him on the head, then said, “That’s all right. We’ll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we’ll go out for an ice cream soda, and then get you a new pet. I don’t want you….”

Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move. “Wally, your turtle isn’t dead after all.”
“Oh,” the disappointed boy, wanting ice cream and a new pet, asked. “Can I kill it then?”

~~~

“People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”

Søren Kierkegaard

~~~

  • When women retire as homemakers they tend to get a little testy. Here is what husbands have to look forward to.
    Kitchen closed – – this chick has had it!
    Martha Stewart doesn’t live here!!
    I’m creative; you can’t expect me to be neat too!
    So this isn’t Home Sweet Home… Adjust!
    Ring Bell for Maid Service…If no answer do it yourself!
    I clean house every other day…. Today is the other day!
    If you write in the dust, please don’t date it!
    Our house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!
    I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
    If you don’t like my standards of cooking … lower your standards.
    Apology … Although you’ll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse. It doesn’t always look like this: Some days it’s even worse.
  • A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
    A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
    Help keep the kitchen clean – eat out.
    Gardening forever . . . Housework, never!
    Dull women have immaculate houses.

~~~

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
Carrie Snow

~~~

“To practice five things under all circumstances constitutes perfect virtue; these five are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.”

Confucius

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Ray’s Daily

May 25, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Tough times never last, but tough people do!”

Robert Schuller

As we get older it pays to avoid stagnation. I have a number of friends who are more than ninety years old who as sharp as some folks in their fifties. What they have in common is they stay mentally active.

To some extent our mental ability is up to us. Here are ecerpts from a recent article that tells us how we can stay mentally capable.

7 Things to Do After 50 for a Healthier Brain

by Michele G. Sullivan, AARP

1. Keep your blood pressure under control – Heart and brain health are woven together not only by lifestyle factors but by genetics, cholesterol metabolism, and the health and integrity of the cardiovascular system — from major vessels to the tiniest capillaries — says Marwan Sabbagh, M.D., director of translational research at the Cleveland Clinic’s Lou Ruvo Center for Brain Health in Las Vegas.

Blood pressure management — can be achieved with steps including a well-balanced diet, exercise and medication.

2. Get regular exercise – Beyond increasing blood flow to the brain, exercise — particularly running — can be a boon for brain health because it generates the release of a protein called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which promotes the growth of the cells that send and receive signals from the brain, called neurons. BDNF also “increases the connections between neurons, and it sustains them in the face of environmental and other challenges.

3. Eat a heart-healthy diet – This is a diet that keeps cholesterol in check and promotes normal insulin activity — both of which reduce your dementia risk.

In early May a German team published the strongest-yet evidence on this. A Mediterranean diet, which is rich in vegetables, fish and heart-healthy fats, was associated with larger brain volume and less beta amyloid — the protein that forms the neuron-killing clumps that are a hallmark of Alzheimer’s disease.

4. Manage your weight – Obesity is a well-established risk factor for dementia. In a 2020 study, subjects with obesity were 34 percent more likely to develop dementia than those who were normal weight; the risk for women was even higher (39 percent).

5. Learn new things – Just like bodies, brains are meant to be active. Crossword puzzles and sudoku, often suggested as brain exercises, may not offer the best trainingespecially if they are too easy and don’t require “mental sweat.” “The trick is to challenge yourself, but not with something so difficult that you give it up.

~~~

“Increasing the strength of our minds is the only way to reduce the difficulty of life.”

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

~~~

Don’t you just hate blond jokes, well in this case the hair coloring has been changed to protect the innocent.
A blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?” The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, “You ARE on the other side.”

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?” She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

~~~
She said: Protons have mass?    I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
~~~

Simulated office experience when working from home…
Get up every day at 6am, iron a shirt, put on your suit. Walk half a mile to the bus stop, stand in cold for 20 minutes. Get a bus to somewhere miles away. Get off, stand in cold for 20 minutes again and get bus back. Walk half mile back to house. It should now be about 9am.

Decorate your ‘office’ with a stained carpet (preferably one made of carpet tiles,) a strip light that flickers and a vending machine which serves not-even-close-to-being-coffee.

Place a proxy between yourself and the web, pointlessly block any sites that may have useful information relevant to your job. Only allow yourself to unblock them after a week-long argument with yourself via email.

If you smoke, don’t do it in the building. Stand outside (in the cold) and move at least 100 yards up the street, to avoid tarnishing your company’s corporate image.

Have daily meetings, where the main topic should always be how to cut down on meetings so that actual work can be done.
At lunchtime, take another cold 20 minute walk to the local newsagent, who will be happy to supply you with a disturbingly cold sandwich from their fridge. The only one left will be egg.

Walk back to work, eating your sandwich and smoking at the same time, for efficiency and to hide the taste of the sandwich.

Every 10 minutes, pick up the phone and say ‘Oh, you should have gone through to reception. Let me put you through… Oh, they’re not answering. Can I take a message?’ After this, scrawl something on a post-it note and wander around the ‘office’ for 10 minutes to simulate finding the message recipient’s desk.

At the end of the day, leave the office and perform the bus trips again.
~~~
If America has FREE ELECTIONS, then why are they the most expensive ones in the world?
~~~

Maxine on “Driver Safety” – “I can’t use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.”
Maxine on “Body Piercing” – “I’d get my tongue pierced, but I still have a little bit of brain left in my head.”
Maxine on “Work” – “My performance at work has really improved over the years. Now I can nail a co-worker with a paper-clip shot from a rubber band at 20 yards.”

Maxine on “the Technology Revolution” – “My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.”
Maxine on “Aging” – “Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita.”

~~~
I’ve learned…. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
~~~

A prominent surgeon, who was a member of operating teams at both St. Francis Hospital and Christ Hospital in the Chicago area, would operate in the morning, then field calls about his patients in the evening.

One night, a few dinner guests were quite shocked as the good doctor was on the phone talking to a resident at Christ Hospital, when the other phone rang.  His wife answered, then whispered to her husband, “It’s St. Francis calling.” He whispered back, “Tell St. Francis I’ll have to call back. I’m talking to Christ.”

~~~

If I were here more often, I wouldn’t be gone so much.
~~~

She said: Our neighbor loaned my husband his old chain saw to trim some tree branches.  Unfortunately, the engine burned out while my husband was using it.  Not wanting to return a broken piece of equipment, he bought a new saw to replace it.When I offered it to our neighbor, he thanked me but said, “Keep it. I’ll borrow it when I need it.”
I was turning away when his eyes lit up.  “Hey,” he asked, “want to borrow my car?”
~~~

Disappointments should be cremated, not embalmed.
Henry S. Haskins
~~~

Bill is sitting in his neighborhood bar one hot afternoon, drinking, and minding his own business, when all of a sudden this great big guy comes in and — WHACK!! — Knocks Bill clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big guy says, “That was a karate chop from Korea.”

Bill thinks “GEEZ!!” but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking and trying to mind his own business again when all of a sudden — WHACK — the big guy knocks him down…..AGAIN and says, “That was a judo chop from Japan.”

Bill has had just about enough of this so … he gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves.  He is gone for an hour or so, and when he returns, without saying a word, he walks up behind the big idiot and –Bong!!!”–Bangs the big guy off his stool, knocking him out cold!! Bill then looks at the bartender and says, “When he comes to, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears.”

~~~

It was rush hour, and when the bus finally arrived, it was packed.  I tried to force my way on, but no one would budge, although there was ample room in the back. Then the bus driver took over.

“Excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen,” he shouted.  “Will all the beautiful, smart people please move to the back of the bus, and all the ugly stupid people stay up front?”

~~~

“I would say what others have said: It gets better. One day, you’ll find your tribe. You just have to trust that people are out there waiting to love you and celebrate you for who you are. In the meantime, the reality is you might have to be your own tribe. You might have to be your own best friend. That’s not something they’re going to teach you in school. So start the work of loving yourself.

Wentworth Miller

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

A Posiutive Attitude

Ray’s Daily

May 24, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.

Richard Bach

There is a small picture on my walker that says “Stay Positive”. It is something that has kept me going over the years. I have also found that positive people accomplish more, worry less and are fun to be with. I hope youwill join me in making this next week great by staying positive.

Here is an article I abriged that offers the steps positive people take to live the good life.

Examples of a Positive Attitude

By: Gae-Lynn Woods

Having a positive attitude, which is choosing to approach difficult circumstances with a productive mindset, can benefit you on several levels. The Mayo Clinic states that a positive attitude can lower your stress level, which is good for your health.

Hope -Hope is perseverance. People with a positive attitude are able to look through the difficulties they face today and believe they can find a way through or around those difficulties.

Optimism -People with a positive attitude exhibit optimism, the belief in the best possible outcome of a decision or action and that negative circumstances are temporary. Teach yourself to challenge failures, analyzing the components that led to the failure. Take ownership for the components that you control and recognize and release the components that you could not have controlled.

Resiliency – Positive people exhibit resiliency. the ability to bounce back from difficult circumstances. The American Psychological Association found that resiliency, or hardiness, has three attitudinal components: commitment, control and challenge. Commitment is the willingness to stay engaged rather than become isolated during hard times, choosing to be involved in life. Control is the willingness to try and influence the outcome of challenging circumstances. Challenge is the ability to view each situation as an opportunity to learn.

Confidence – Confidence, or self-efficacy, is the belief that you can influence the outcome of a particular situation. People with a positive attitude are confident that they can face challenges and believe that overcoming them is within their control.

~~~

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.

Epictetus

~~~

Real 911 Calls, “BELIEVE” it or not!!

***

Dispatcher:  9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller:  I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher:  Do you have an address?

Caller:  No, I’m wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher:  9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller:  Hi, is this the Police?     ;

Dispatcher:  This is 9-1-1.  Do you need police assistance?

Caller:  Well, I don’t know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey?  I’ve never cooked one before.

***

Dispatcher:  9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller:  I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher:  This is nine eleven.

Caller:  I thought you just said it was  nine-one-one

Dispatcher:  Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller:  Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

***

Dispatcher:  9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

Dispatcher:  Is this her first child?

Caller:  No, you idiot!  This ! is her husband!

***

Dispatcher:  9-1-1

Caller:  Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing.  I’m all out of breath.

Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.

Dispatcher:  Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller:  I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Dispatcher:  Sir, an ambulance is on the way.  Are you an asthmatic?

Caller:  No

Dispatcher:  What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Caller:  Running from the Police.

~~~

If living conditions don’t stop improving in this country, we’re going to run out of humble beginnings for our great men.

Russell P. Askue

~~~

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.

“The front row please.” She answered.

“You really don’t want to do that,” the usher said. “The pastor is really boring.”

“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired.

“No.” he said.

“I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked.

“No.” she said.

“Good,” he answered.

~~~

Hearing is one of the body’s five senses. But listening is an art.

Frank Tyger

~~~

An octogenarian who was an avid golfer moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club. He went to the Club for the first time to play, but was told that there wasn’t anybody he could play with because they were already out on the course. He repeated several times that he really wanted to play today.

Finally, the assistant Pro said he would play with him and asked him how many strokes he wanted for a bet. The 80 year old said, “I really don’t need any strokes as I have been playing quite well. The only real problem I have, is getting out of sand traps.”

And he did play well. Coming to the par four 18th, they were all even.

The Pro had a nice drive and was able to get on the green and two-putt for a par. The old man had a nice drive, but his approach shot landed in a sand trap next to the green. Playing from the bunker he hit a high ball, which landed on the green and rolled into the cup. Birdie, match and all the money!

The Pro walked over to the sand trap where his opponent was still standing in the trap. He said: “nice shot, but I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps?”

Replied the octogenarian “I do, would you please give me a hand.”

~~~

One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams.

E.V. Lucas

~~~

We were driving our three-year-old grandson to his recently divorced father’s home when we stopped at a store.  Once inside, our grandson decided he wanted one of those large gum balls.

I told him he couldn’t have one, and he began to pout.  I leaned over to him and said, “This is a fact of life:  You don’t always get everything you want.”

“I know,” he replied.  “Just don’t tell my dad.”

~~~

She said, “I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter, Carrie, suddenly woke up.

Seeing the money in my hand, she cried out, “Aha! I caught you!”

I froze and tried to think of an explanation for why I, instead of the ‘tooth fairy’, was putting the money under her pillow, but her next words let me off the hook completely. .

“You put that money back!” she said indignantly.  “The tooth fairy left that for me!””

~~~

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.  So I got a girlfriend.

~~~

Here is a group of medical terms as defined by blondes, or was it brunettes:

Barium              What to do when treatment fails.

Cauterize          Make eye contact with her.

Colic                  Sheepdog.

Dilate                 To live long.

Enema               Not a friend.

Fester                Quicker.

Hangnail             Coat hook.

Labor pain          Hurt at work.

Tablet                 Small table.

Tumor                More than one.

Varicose             Nearby.

Vein                     Conceited.

~~~

Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can’t be done.

Robert Foster Bennett

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Leadership

Ray’s Daily

May 21, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one’s responsibility as a free man.

Alan Paton

Ray’s Daily first published on May 21, 2007

I worked over the weekend at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway with a fellow Salvation Army volunteer. She is a decade or two younger than I am yet we found we had much in common. Some of our conversation centered on the youth that will soon manage our world and our lives. We wondered if the pressures and materialism faced by many results in their being to narrowly focused to be able to deal with the broader responsibility of governing our society. Have they time for the humanities? Have they been sold on the idea that all politics is bad? Are they convinced that there is nothing anyone can do? I hope the answer is not to all of these, at least in our very best and brightest.

For some reason I started to think about how much of how we are so often distracted by so much activity around us everyday that we fail to invest in what might be a better tomorrow. Sometime ago I picked up some ideas that I think are important

  • Find your own happiness. It amazes me how many of us don’t stop long enough to analyze what gives us pleasure. Too often we let others decide where we should look for happiness. I suggest that if you like to read then read. If you like to travel then travel. And if you want to see what you might be missing, get involved.
  • Stray from the path once in awhile. Many of us reach the starting line in our lives and always follow the course laid out by others. Almost always you will find that it is those who stray from the beaten path who contribute the most to building a better world.
  • Don’t run too fast. I pity those who run so fast that they never see anything around them. Sadly when they get to the finish line they find the race is over and their lives have ended. Everyone is a resource that should be used and not wasted, stop once in awhile and regroup for it is often the new beginning that allows us to be all we might be.
  • Let go! Don’t let the past define our future. Some will say that doing it the same way we always did provides us proven results, don’t kid yourself too often this just provides us the excuse to coast with what we have. Those who stay in the past stagnate, and they become the past, as the one thing you can be sure off the world is always changing whether we do or not.

There is a lot more I could say but I won’t. The bottom line is that if our leaders of tomorrow don’t know themselves, don’t take a risk once in awhile, don’t stop to see if there is a better way, and lock them selves into the past because it is a safe harbor, then my friends I fear that my golden years will not be as bright if those who will have the power to manage society let us down.

~~~

The way people in democracies think of the government as something different from themselves is a real handicap.

Lewis Mumford

~~~

Selma telephones home with some exciting news:

“Mama, I got married.” “Mazel Tov,” says Mama.

“I might as well tell you, Mama, he’s not of our Faith.” “So he’s a goy. But am I prejudiced?”

“But, Mama, he’s also black.” “So he’s a schvartzeh. By me, everybody should be tolerant.”

“Well, frankly, Mama, he’s also unemployed.” “So, you’ll support him. A wife should help

her husband.”

“But, Mama, we have no place to live.” “Don’t worry, Selma, dear. You’ll move in with us.”

“But Mama, you have only one bedroom.” “That’s okay. You and your husband can have the bedroom.”

“Yes, Mama, but where will you and Papa sleep?” “Papa can sleep on the couch in the living

room.”

“Yes, Mama, but where will *you* sleep?”

“Selma, dear, about me you don’t need to worry. The minute I get off the phone…I’m going to drop dead.”

~~~

Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you’re finished.

~~~

Nadine and Jill got summer jobs as cashiers in a grocery store.

Nadine is ringing up an order on her line and comes to a small dairy carton that isn’t scanning and has no price on it.  She yells out to Jill, “How much is half-and-half?”

Without a moment’s hesitation Jill replied, “One.”

~~~

Seven out of 10 people say they are feeling the pinch of high gas prices.

The other three have bought siphoning equipment.

Jim Barach

~~~

New Office Work Rules

1. SICKNESS: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept your doctor’s statement as proof of illness, as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.  

2. LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR AN OPERATION: We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may not need all of whatever you have, and you should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed certainly makes you less than we bargained for.  

3. DEATH, OTHER THAN YOUR OWN: This is no excuse. If you can arrange for funeral services to be held late in the afternoon, however, we can let you off an hour early, provided all your work is up to date.  

4. DEATH, YOUR OWN: This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like at least two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.  

5. PERSONAL HYGIENE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the washrooms. In the future, you will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order, for instance, those with last names beginning with “A” will be allowed to go from 9:00-9:05, and so on. If you are unable to go at your appointed time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes around again.  

6. QUANTITY OF WORK: No matter how much you do, you’ll never do enough.  

7. QUALITY OF WORK: The minimum acceptable level is perfection.  

8. ADVICE FROM OWNER: Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.   

9. THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT.  

10. WHEN THE BOSS IS WRONG, REFER TO RULE 9.  

~~~

He had delusions of adequacy.”

Walter Kerr

~~~

After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board following the close of the service.

The first man to arrive and greet the minister was a total stranger. “You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board members,” explained the minister.

“I know,” said the man, “but if there is anyone here more bored than I am, then I’d like to meet him.”

~~~

Vuja De – The Feeling You’ve Never Been Here.

~~~

In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how societies ideal of beauty changes with time.  

“For example, he said, “take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five feet one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she’d do in today’s version of the contest?”  

The class fell silent for a moment. Then one student piped up, “Not very well.”  

“Why is that?” Asked the professor.  

“For one thing,” the student said, “She’d be way too old.”  

~~~

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

Aristotle

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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