Ray's musings and humor

A New Begining

Ray’s Daily

May 6, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Every new day is another chance to change your life.” 

As the covid restrictions on our activities are lifted we are free to move to a more normal life. The challenge for us is to work torwards making the days ahead what we would like them to be. It is time to leave our caves and rejoin the world.

There is no need to return to who we once where, now is the time we can work to be who we would like to be. The new dawn brings new opportunity and it is up to us to take advantage of the chance to make the days ahead great.

Recently I got a message from Angel Chernoff and I have provided excerts from her message below to help us focus on what we can do for ourselves.

We all need our own time to travel our own distance. And right now, you just need to keep peaceful, productive thoughts and perspectives centered in your mind, as you take things one step at a time…

  1. Don’t waste your energy fighting against where you are. Invest your energy into getting to where you want to go. Let go of everything from the past that does not serve you, and just be grateful it brought you to where you are now—to this new beginning.
  2. You may not be responsible for everything that happened to you when you were younger, and you may not be responsible for everything that happened to you yesterday either, but you need to be responsible for undoing the thinking patterns these circumstances created.
  3. When you look back on your past, think of the strength you gained, and appreciate how far you’ve come. It hasn’t been easy. You’ve been through a lot. But you’ve grown a lot too. Give yourself credit for your resilience, and step forward again with grace.
  4. Too often we spend our time waiting for the ideal path to appear. But it never does. Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. Now is the time! And no, you shouldn’t feel more confident and motivated before you take the next step.
  5. Love what you do, until you can do what you love. Love where you are, until you can be where you love. Love the people you are with, until you can be with the people you love most. This is the way we find happiness, opportunity, and peace in the long run.
  6. Ultimately, it’s about letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is. At the end of this day, before you close your eyes, smile and be at peace with where you’ve been and grateful for what you have. Life is good.

~~~


I hope you realize that every day is a fresh start for you. That every sunrise is a new chapter in your life waiting to be written.

Juansen Dizon

~~~

“Kids Takes On Life”

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

“Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” – Del, age 6

“Shake your hips and hope for the best.” – Camille, age 9

“Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs … and don’t worry if their parents are right there.” – Manuel, age 8

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” – Alonzo, age 9

“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” – Bart, age 9

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?

“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” – Bobby, age 9

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold … Other people care more about the food.” – Bart, age 9

“Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up.” – Sarah, age 9

“See if the man has lipstick on his face.” – Sandra, age 7

~~~

We live by hope. We do not always get all we want when we want it. But we have to believe that someday, somehow, some way, it will be better and that we can make it so.

Hubert H. Humphrey

~~~

After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her special needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision to the point of near blindness. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. “Oh, you’re welcome,” she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, … “And will your grandmother need a rental car?

~~~

Nothing improves memory like trying to forget.

~~~

A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn’t care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character.

Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence.

The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in common — they were both pathological liars.

~~~

Happiness is mostly a by-product of doing what makes us feel fulfilled.

Dr. Benjamin Spock

~~~

A Kansas cyclone hit a farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It lifted the roof off, picked up the beds, on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county.

“Don’t be scared, Mary,” her husband said. “We’re not hurt.”

Mary continued to cry. “I’m not scared,” she responded between sobs. “I’m happy ’cause this is the first time in 14 years we’ve been out together.”

~~~

Of course I don’t look busy…I did it right the first time!  

~~~

The young secretary was describing her evening’s exploits to a friend. “After dinner,” she said, “he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that.”

“That was smart,” her friend said, approvingly, “Then what happened?”

“He kept insisting, and I kept refusing,” the secretary said.

“You didn’t weaken your resolve did you?” asked the friend.

“Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let HIS mother worry…”

~~~

Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them.

Richard L. Evans

~~~

While I was taking a Law course, the ‘Audi alteram parten’ rule was explained to us.

Translated it means “To hear the other party”

After discussing the subject at great length, the lecturer asked if anyone didn’t understand the rule.

Responded one man “My Wife”

~~~

Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.

Douglas Pagels
~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Success

Ray’s Daily

May 5, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.”

Henry David Thoreau

I have learned that success for me was not title, income or special recognition. It was certainly a lot more than than my vocational duties. Most of the time it was just doing what I could, not only for myself but also for others. Years ago I when lectured on management I would tell my audience that I thought the sure secret of personal success was working to make the people around you successful and that would assure personal success. I honestly feel that taking a “what’s in it for me” attitude is no substitute for a “what is in it for others” attitude..

Success is is not limited to recognition or reward, it is knowing you did the right thing and that you did your best. In fact some of the best people I know are the unsung regular folks who go through life caring for others.

Be Necessary

Success comes from making yourself necessary. It does not come from making a nuisance of yourself, nor from making people feel sorry for you, nor from taking advantage of others.

In whatever arena you seek success, you will attain it by making a useful and substantial contribution. What are you doing right now to make yourself necessary?

How much of yourself do you put into your work, into your life? True, lasting achievement requires effort on your part.

You may be able to lie, cheat or steal your way to a big bank account, but you cannot steal true success and fulfillment. It must be earned. It must come from you. It must come from making your own unique, positive contribution to the world.

You’re a special individual, and the best thing you can do with your uniqueness is to make it available to others. Make yourself necessary. Make a difference. Your own life is the most blessed when the most others are blessed by it.

Written by Ralph S. Marston, Jr

~~~

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”

Albert Einstein

~~~

The following are actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers:

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere else again.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off- head illusion.

Blue Cross and salary.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Great Dames for sale.

Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

~~~

You must arrange in advance for pleasant memories.

~~~

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town, which he planned to visit on his vacation.

He wrote, “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?”

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, “I’ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I’ve never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I’ve never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I’ve never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel, and if your dog will vouch for you, you’re welcome to stay here, too!”

~~~

There is a time when we must firmly choose the course which we will follow or the endless drift of events will make the decision for us.

Herbert V. Prochnow

~~~

“Great TIPS”

Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.

High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Olympic athletes. Conceal the fact that you have taken performance enhancing drugs by simply running a little slower and letting someone else win.

Heavy smokers. Don’t throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you’ll have enough to insulate your loft.

X File fans. Create the effect of being abducted be aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You’ll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously ‘erased’.

A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the Sahara desert.

Nissan Micra drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgem cars anyway, so it may as well look like one.

Tape a chocolate bar to the outside of your microwave. If the chocolate melts you will know that the microwaves are escaping and it is time to have he oven serviced.

A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

~~~

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.

Edmund Burke

~~~

At a Milwaukee post office, a woman complained to the clerk that a Pony Express rider could get a letter from Milwaukee to St. Louis in two days, and now it takes three. “I’d like to know why,” she scoffed.

The clerk thought a moment and then suggested, “The horses are a lot older now?”

~~~

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”

Conrad Hilton

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Live a good life

Ray’s Daily

May 4, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.The other is as though everything is a miracle.

Albert Einstein

~~~

I have an early Doctor’s appointment so here is anotherreprint

Ray’s Daily first published on May 4, 2005

Some time ago someone sent me a few of their maxims for us to read and think about, they are:

  • I’ve learned that ultimately ‘takers’ lose and ‘givers’ win. This may not always be true but I find I like givers a lot better, especially when I look in the mirror and see that it was me.
  • Life’s precious moments don’t have value, unless they are shared. Amen to this one. The sunset is never as beautiful as it is when you see it with someone you care about. Sharing the things that give you pleasure are the best gifts you can give to another.
  • If you don’t start, it’s certain you won’t arrive. It is sad that there are so many that wait until the race is almost over to start living their lives.
  • We often fear the thing we want the most. And I find it hard to understand why we sometimes feel guilty when we get it. In my experience the goal achieved often loses it’s luster as the process of getting there often is more rewarding than the achievement itself.
  • Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say! So often the best communications take place without words, holding a hand or brushing away a tear at the right time always communicates more than what might be said.
  • Look for opportunities…. not guarantees. It seems to me that when we don’t take ourselves too seriously, are not excessively afraid what others might think if we fail, we end up doing great things. Even when we don’t win we are still able to take pride in the fact we tried.
  • Life is what’s coming…. not what was. I don’t know about you but I know I don’t have time to live down the past. Everyday is a new adventure and I can hardly wait to see how it turns out.

Ray

~~~

Jill and Nadine were having lunch and Nadine looked a little upset.

“What’s wrong?” asked Jill.

“I’m really worried about myself,” Nadine said forlornly. “My memory has always been a source of quiet pride to me, but lately it’s been failing me. I’m having a hard time remembering things from the mundane to the major.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” Jill said consolingly, “sounds like you’ll forget all about it tomorrow.”

~~~

I was shopping at the supermarket today and I saw a package of Turkey Bacon. What’s up with that?? Makes me wonder WHAT is going on at that farm?

~~~

The patrol officer stopped a motorist for a traffic violation. Standing outside his expensive foreign car, the red-faced driver frantically waved his hands and jumped up and down.

“I’ll have your job for this!” he shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Sir, you wouldn’t want my job,” replied the unruffled officer as he wrote out the citation.

“The hours are long, the pay is low, and you meet some of the nastiest people.”

~~~

Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA

The computer swallowed grandma.

Yes, honestly its true

She pressed ‘control’ and ‘enter’

And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely

The thought just makes me squirm.

She must have caught a virus

Or been eaten by a worm.

I’ve searched through the recycle bin

And files of every kind;

I’ve even used the internet,

But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves

My searches to refine.

The reply from him was negative,

Not a thing was found ‘online’.

So, if inside your ‘inbox’

My grandma you should see.

Please ‘Copy’, ‘Scan’ and ‘paste’ her

And send her back to me!

~~~

Of course, there must be subtleties.  Just make sure you make them obvious.

~~~

In a small town in the Old Country, the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education. However, she was lonely, so she agreed, and they were married.

After the marriage, Friday came. She went to the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath to get rid of impurities). Then, she went home to prepare to light the candles. The butcher leaned over to her and said, “My mother told me that after the mikvah and before lighting the candles, it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

She lit the candles. He leaned over again and said, My father told me that after lighting the candles it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

They went to bed after prayers to get ready for Shabbos. When they awoke he said to her, “My grandmother said that before you go to the synagogue it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

After praying all morning, they came home to rest; and again he whispers in her ear, “My grandfather says after praying it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

On Sunday she went out to shop for food and met a friend who asked, “Nu, so how is the new husband?” She replied, “Well, he is no scholar; but he comes from a wonderful family.”

~~~

May your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want.

Irish toast

~~~

A millionaire informs his attorney, “I want a stipulation in my Will that my wife is to inherit everything, but only if she remarries within six months of my death.”

“Why such an odd stipulation?” asks the attorney.

“Because,” he says, “I want someone to be sorry I died.”

~~~

The question is not “Do I have the gifts and strengths that I need for my life,” but “Am I seeking to discover my gifts and strengths?”

Paula Ripple

~~~

She said: I was self-conscious about going to the gym, because I thought the pounds I had put on would make me stand out among the spandex-clad regulars.

I chose a treadmill way in the back corner so I’d be inconspicuous. However, as I exercised, my worst fears came true. At least a dozen people turned to stare at me periodically. I thought it might be my imagination, but then one woman even squinted to get a better look. Imagine!

Completely mortified, I stepped off the machine and started to leave.

When I turned around to see if I left my towel back there, I realized that the gym’s only wall clock had been hanging just inches above my head.

~~~

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.

Dale Turner

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Keep an open heart

Ray’s Daily

May 3, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.

Deepak Chopra

Here we are, a new week and a new month. I plan on doing all I can to appreciate all that the days will offer. I want to focus on the goodness in the people I meet as well as what is right in the environment. I can’t do that unless I pay attention and stay open to all I encounter.

I abridged the following piece I got from the Tiny Budda website. It offers me tips on how I can make the most of the days ahead.

How do we become more present and alive in each moment?

  • Practice fully pouring yourself into every act. This is a Zen practice — being fully in every task you do, every act. If you’re brushing your teeth, just brush your teeth — and be completely immersed in that. Fully express yourself in everything you do.
  • See the divinity in the person in front of you or in this moment. When I say “divinity,” it might mean God if you believe in God … but if you don’t, it’s seeing the incredible gift of the world, of each person. Seeing the profound beauty in everything. Seeing the sacredness of the ordinary. When you’re talking with someone, can you fully appreciate their divinity? Can you feel wonder at the world around you, no matter where you are? This is an incredible practice that will help you feel more alive, each time you do it.
  • Let yourself express your emotions physically. Most of us barely let ourselves feel any emotions. We can express them physically — scream into a pillow, throw a tantrum by kicking and banging your fists on the ground, express pain by writhing in anguish or letting your heart be broken. When we express our emotions fully and physically in our bodies, we unleash our vitality.
  • Open your damn heart! Most of us move through our days with our hearts closed. We do our tasks, go through the motions, but we aren’t connected to our hearts. (Some people, of course, are able to live in their hearts much of the time — let them be our role models!) What would it be like to be open-hearted today, feel loving toward every person you see, loving and tender toward the world around you? Try it and see!
  • As you can see, these are not things that you’ll be able to get perfect, immediately or even ever. They are things to practice.

But I can tell you, in my experience, this kind of practice of being fully immersed in each activity, with your heart open, your emotions fully expressed, seeing the divinity in everything and everyone around you — this will help us be fully alive in each moment.

~~~

Open your eyes to the beauty around you, open your mind to the wonders of life, open your heart to those who love you, and always be true to yourself.

Maya Angelou

~~~

I was at a party this weekend and a jokester, stifling a laugh said, “Listen to this: One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to…”  

At this, my Jewish friend, Al Cohen said, “Moskowitz and Finkelstein; Moskowitz and Finkelstein; always two Jews. Why do they have to be Jewish? Can’t you tell the joke with other nationalities involved? Why don’t you make them Chinese for a change?”  

The jokester, sobered and embarrassed, said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend. Here’s the joke: One day, Hong-lee Yang and Mao-chen Foo were going to the synagogue to attend the bar mitzvah of Hong-lee Yang’s nephew…”

~~~

The best defense against logic is stupidity.

~~~

After several private tutorial meetings, the anthropology instructor invited the struggling student to his house to view his personal collection of artifacts.

As they entered his living room, the young woman began giggling. Pointing to an object on the mantel, she asked, “What’s That?”

“Actually,” he explained, “it’s a phallic symbol used by the Australian aborigines in their fertility rites.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” she said. “I’d hate to tell you what it looks like.”

~~~

The only lesson history has taught us is that man has not yet learned anything from history.

~~~

A man travelling on a train asked the ticket collector what time the train stopped at Victoria. “This train doesn’t stop at Victoria, its the express.”

“You’re joking! I NEED to get off at Victoria!”

“Sorry sir, this train will not stop at Victoria.”

“There must be something you can do.”

“Well there is one thing…”

“What? Anything! I need to get off at Victoria!”

“Well, I’ll get the engineer to slow down and I’ll dangle you out the door and lower you onto the platform.”

“My goodness!” said the man, “Will that work?”

“It’s worth a try,” replied the conductor.

The train approached the platform at 50 mph. The conductor hung the man out the door. The man started running in mid air. “Run faster!

Run faster!” the conductor shouted as he lowered the man down.

The man’s feet touched the platform, and smoke flew off his shoes. One of his heels came off; he was running for his life! Suddenly, the ticket collector let go, and the man was running at 30 mph. He has made it; he began to slow down. He was still running at 20 mph along side the train as the other passengers watched in amazement. As the last car went by, another hand grabbed the man by the shirt collar and lifted him back onto the train.

As he was being pulled into the observation car he heard a voice say, “Your lucky I was here to help you on, normally this train doesn’t even slow-down at Victoria!”

~~~

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

Thornton Wilder

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Be Hopeful

Ray’s Daily

April 30, 2921

http://rays-daily.com

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

HELEN KELLER

I worry that some folks have let despair destroy their ability to hope during these difficult times. There is growing evidence showing that there are better days are ahead. In my view hopelessness leads to distress, stagnation and inaction.

Please believe that those who retian their abilty to embrace hope will be ready to take advantage of a better tomorrow. Here a few thoughts I captured off the internet that provide some insight into why hope is important for us all to retain.

Why Hope Is So Vital

Most people associate hope with a dire situation. People hope to get out of difficult circumstances. That is often when people do find themselves hoping fervently! But hope also can provide the key to making everyday life better.

That’s because just envisioning something hopeful – the child seeing herself riding her new bike, for example – gives a person a moment of happiness, according to Psychology Today.  It can make present difficulties much easier to bear.

An example of that is reported by the American Psychology Association. Children who grew up in poverty but had success later in life all had one thing in common – hope. Dr. Valerie Maholmes, who worked on the research, said hope involves “planning and motivation and determination” to get what one hopes for.

Deeper Meaning

In a way, having hope links your past and present to the future. You have a vision for what you hope will happen. Whether it does not, just envisioning it can make you feel better. And if it’s something you can somewhat control – like the kids working to get out of poverty – then hope can motivate you to take whatever steps you need to take.

Dr. Neel Burton, a book author who writes about emotions, writes that he always asks patients for what they hope for, because if they say “nothing” then that is a sign of depression or worse.

Having hope is important to the very act of being a human being. As Dr. Judith Rich writes, “Hope is a match in a dark tunnel, a moment of light, just enough to reveal the path ahead and ultimately the way out.”

~~~

They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.

TOM BODETT

~~~

Joan:  You know, my ex never came right out and criticized my cooking.  He would just make snide remarks.

Mary:  Like what?

Joan:  He’d look at his plate and ask, “Was the dog not hungry?”

~~~

If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

~~~

Dentist: “Try to relax. I’ll pull that aching tooth in five minutes.”

Patient: “How much will this cost?”

Dentist: “It’ll be $100.”

Patient: “That much for just five minutes work?”

Dentist: “Well if you prefer, I can pull it out very slowly.”

~~~

The cardiologist’s diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

~~~

Feeling Stressed?

Picture yourself near a stream …Birds are chirping softly in the crisp, cool mountain air … Nothing can bother you here … No one knows this secret place … You are in total seclusion from that place called The World … The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity … The water is clear … You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you’re holding under the water …

There now … Feeling better?

~~~

Don’t cry because it’s over: smile because it happened.

~~~

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together.

After the man received the full treatment – shave, manicure, haircut,etc. – he placed the boy in the chair.

“I’m goin’ to buy a tie to wear to the party,” he said.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

When the boy’s haircut was done and the man still hadn’t returned, the barber said, “It looks like your daddy forgot all about you.”

“That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, ‘Come on, son, we’re gonna get a free haircut!'”

~~~

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation, but would like it to keep in touch.

Robert Orben

~~~

A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday for coffee and a chat. They drink their coffee and then sit for hours discussing the world situation. Usually, their discussion is very negative. One day, Aaron surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, “You know what? I’ve now become an optimist.”

Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up. But then Sam notices something isn’t quite right and he says to Aaron, “Hold on a minute, if you’re an optimist, why are you looking so worried?”

Aaron replies, “Do you think it’s easy being an optimist?”

~~~

The trouble with being punctual is that no one notices it when you are.

~~~

All of his life, Len had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that day, they’d walk across the lake to the boat club for their first legal drink.

So, when Len’s 21st birthday came around, he and his friend, Corky, took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Len stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! Corky just managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Len went to see his grandmother.

“Grandma, it’s my 21st birthday, so why can’t I walk across the lake like my father, his father and his father before him?”

Granny looked Len straight in the eyes and said, “Because your father, grandfather and great- grandfather were born in January. You were born in July.”

~~~

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

DALE CARNEGIE

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Stay Connected

Ray’s Daily

April 29, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“At different states in our lives, the signs of love may vary: dependence, attraction, contentment, worry, loyalty, grief, but at the heart, the source is always the same. Human beings have the rare capacity to connect with each other, against all odds.”

Anonymous

Ray’s Daily first published on April 29, 2005

We had a speaker at my Kiwanis meeting yesterday who talked about networking and communicating. She talked about how we can connect with others to the benefit of both them and ourselves. I am paraphrasing her message, well maybe I am taking her message as I understood it and put my own spin on it. Here are my thoughts on how we can connect and enrich our lives.

You can’t connect if you are never in a place where you can meet others. Attend a club meeting, take a class, attend a lecture, take a trip, the list is endless, and when you do make sure you say hello to the people around you. The point is that if we limit our relationships to only close friends, fellow workers, and family, we will miss a lot of what life has to offer.

When we truly take an interest in someone else we refresh the human spirit and lay the foundation for sincere bonds of friendship. People are wonderful and complex, everyone is unique and learning more about them can be both fun and enlightening. And I am sure you will find that if you take an honest interest in others, they will take an interest in you.

It is our interest in each other that brings us together. Lasting relationships are built on interest, comfort, and most of all trust. Trust that we will listen to each other and do everything we can to understand. Often the very nature of our sharing implies a risk as we open up and let some of our more personal feelings emerge, we can only do that if we expect understanding and not judgment in return.

~~~

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.

Herman Melville

~~~

A teenager is:  

* A person who can’t remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.  

* A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.  

* A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday.  

* Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.  

* A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can’t make a bed.  

* A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver’s license.  

* A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music–loud and very loud.  

* An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.  

* A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother.  

* A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.  

* A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.  

* A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing.  

* An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.  

~~~

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.  

Wayne Dyer

~~~

There was this West Va. sheriff and his deputy riding along the small town.  They spot a car with out of town plates and decided to pull it over. The sheriff says “Where you from boy?”

The man says Chicago. Sheriff says, “Don’t lie to me son I saw them Illinois tags.”

~~~

Our boss told us that she is planning a salary raise.

One of the guys asked, “When does it become effective?”

The boss answered, “As soon as you do.”

~~~

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.

-William James

~~~

Have you ever realized that children are like dogs—loyal and affectionate, but teenagers are like cats?

It’s so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. And yet it still puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting and bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.

Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your doorsteps, it disappears. You won’t see it again until it gets hungry. Then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you’re serving. When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before. You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong. It seems so antisocial, so distant. It won’t go on family outings.

Since you’re the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave. Only now you’re dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, with open arms, the more it moves away.

Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you should learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

And just remember…

One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, “You’ve been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you.” Then you’ll realize your cat is now a dog again!

~~~

Ten Things a Cat Thinks About

I could have sworn I heard the can opener.

Is there something I’m not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?

Why doesn’t the government do something about dogs?

I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ulterior motives?

Hmmm … If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can’t we cats ever get these stupid dogs to do anything for us?

This looks like a good spot for a nap.

Hey! No kidding, I’m sure that’s the can opener.

Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn’t given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place?

If there’s a God, how can He allow neutering?

If that really was the can opener, I’ll play finicky just to let them know who’s boss!

~~~

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

~~~

I was listening to a lady who called a radio minister. The minister was a wise, grandfatherly gentlemen who had that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear.

The lady, who was obviously crying, says,

“I was born blind, and I’ve been blind all my life. I don’t mind so much being blind but I have some well-meaning friends who tell me if I had more faith I could be healed and see again.”

The minister asked her,

“Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?”

“Why, yes, I do,” she replied.

“Well, then… the next time someone says that to you, hit them over the head with your cane,” he said. “Then tell them… ‘If you had more faith, that wouldn’t hurt!’ “

~~~

Love is a force that connects us to every strand of the universe, an unconditional state that characterizes human nature, a form of knowledge that is always there for us if only we can open ourselves to it.

Emily H. Sell

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

I Can Do Better

Ray’s Daily

April 28, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are some days when I wished I had behaved better. I don’t like myself when I am so preoccupied that I miss the signs of need in others. The good news is that I usually do better the next day.

Being who we would like to be is really up to us. I am at the stage in life where I do not need much, but I do need self respect, something I can only earn by my behavior. The good news is that we always have another chance at doing better.

Who will you be tomorrow?

One man sat at a stop light. The woman in front of him was going through papers on the seat of her car, and when the light changed to green she didn’t go. A green light is not a suggestion, you know, it is more of a commandment. But she didn’t notice.

When the light turned red again, she still had not moved. The man in the car behind her now started screaming epithets and beating on his steering wheel.

A policeman tapped on his windshield. ‘You can’t arrest me for hollering in my car,’ the man said. The cop asked for his license and registration, returned to his car, talked on the radio for a while, and finally handed the papers back. The driver protested, ‘I knew you couldn’t cite me for yelling in my own car!’

The officer replied, ‘I didn’t want to cite you for shouting in your car. But I was directly behind you at the light. I saw you screaming and beating your steering wheel, and I said to myself, ‘That man is out of control. He’s going to hurt someone!’

‘Then I noticed the cross hanging from your rear view mirror, the bright yellow ‘Love Is a Choice’ license tag, the ‘Give Peace a Chance’ and ‘Prayer Changes Things’ bumper stickers, and I was sure you must have stolen the car.’

His behaviour did not reflect his bumper stickers. But let’s not be too critical. Are we always the people we want to be?

We make changes by stretching. Personal transformation can happen when the person we presently are does not yet resemble the person we hope to be. Better to set high ideals and occasionally fall short than to settle for mediocrity and succeed.

The important question is not, ‘Who are you today?’ It is better to ask, ‘Who will you be tomorrow?’

Remember: if nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.

Written by Steve Goodier

~~~

“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”

William James

~~~

Why men don’t write advice columns:

Walter’s Problem Page

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help.

When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn’t find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he’d been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant.

I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely, Mrs. Sheila Uisk

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Walter

~~~

Never close your lips to those to whom you have opened your heart.

Charles Dickens

~~~

She said: I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, “Hi, how are you?”

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don’t know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, “Doin’ just fine!”

And the other person says, “So, what are you up to?”

What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say, “Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!”

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. “Can I come over?”

OK, this question is just too weird for me, but I figure I’ll just be polite and end the conversation. I say, “No, I’m a little busy right now!”

Then I hear the person say nervously, “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions.”

~~~

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

Confucious

~~~

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden

After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him… “Lets see yer fishin’ license, Boy!!” the Warden gasped. With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

“Well, son,” said the Game Warden, “you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don’t have to run from me if you have a valid license!”

“Yes, sir,” replied the young feller, “But my friend back there, well, he don’t have one…”

~~~

“Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters.”

Dan Coppersmith

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Make it a good one

Ray’s Daily

April 27, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Lovely days don’t come to you, you should walk to them.

Rumi

One of the things I have learned has been to appreciate each day. I have found that it is not as important about what happens as it is how I deal with the day’s challenges. In other words how my day goes is up ro me. And you know what, when I make an effort to make each day a good one they almost always turn out that way.

So my friends make today a good one for yourself, I know I will. Need help? Here are you few tips from an abridged article to put you on the right track.

5 Tips on How to Make Every Day a Good Day

By Brenda Raftlova

Exercise first thing in the morning – I know a lot of people dislike exercising, especially early in the morning. But the fact is this is the best thing you can do for your well-being.

Eat well – Right after you finish exercising, it’s important that you fuel your body with healthy food. Research has shown that eating a healthy diet can influence brain chemistry, meaning that food can actually make you happy.

Put on a killer outfit – Have you ever heard of the saying “when you feel good on the outside, you feel good on the inside?” Well, it’s true, so don’t take this point lightly. It’s important to wear clothes that make us feel confident, attractive, and comfortable.

Avoid situations that stress you out – Did you know that only you have the power to decide to be happy or angry at any given moment? All you need is to know yourself, and to know what stresses you out and what relaxes and soothes you.

Do something nice for yourself – Every day, most people think about how they could please someone around them. What they don’t often think about, however, is how they could do something to please themselves for once. It’s extremely important to do something nice for yourself daily. So go eat lunch at that place you’ve wanted to for so long, or go taste that Americano from the new coffee shop next to your work. But remember, it doesn’t always have to mean spending money. Doing something nice for yourself can also mean allowing yourself to watch your favorite TV show, or to read a book – whatever it is that makes you happy.

~~~

A day is a day. It’s just a measurement of time. Whether it’s a good day or a bad day is up to you. It’s all a matter of perception.

Donald L. Hicks

~~~

George, a career Army officer I once met, was jumpmaster for his unit and was taking up a few novices for a drop.  The flight was pretty rough, and, after a while, George called off the jump because of high winds.  As the plane headed back to base, and the pilot pulled off an unusually smooth landing, two of the neophytes got airsick. 

“How come you could take that rough flight, but you couldn’t handle the smooth landing?” asked George.

“Well, Sir,” one trainee explained, “we’ve always jumped out of planes. We’ve never actually landed before.”

~~~

Something popped into my mind and left right away. Maybe it was lonely.

~~~

A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, “If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.”

The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. It is hot. The girl then takes out a fan and starts fanning herself.

The woman looks up and says, “If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan.”

The girl gives her the fan, too. Fifteen minutes later the woman gets up and says to the bus driver, “Stop, I want to get off here.”

The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at the next corner, not in the middle of the block. With her hand across her chest, she tells the driver, “If you knew what I have, you would let me off the bus right here.”

The bus driver pulls over and opens the door to let her out. As she’s walking out of the bus, he asks, “Madam, what is it you have?”

The old woman looks at him and nonchalantly replies, “Chutzpah.”

~~~

A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.

~~~

She said: I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath’.

For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.

~~~

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

~~~

A Psychology professor was giving a lecture on Bi-Polar Disorder.

“Let us establish some parameters,” said the professor. “Now then, Bennett, what is the opposite of joy?”

“Sadness,” replied Bennett.

“And the opposite of depression, Ms. Buston?”

“Elation and joy, sir.”

“And you Morris, how about the opposite of woe?”

“I believe that would be giddy up, sir.”

~~~

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

~~~

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-another had printed it.

“Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector.

“Yes, that was it!”

“You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at an auction for half a million dollars!”

“Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much,” replied the man. “It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin Luther.”

~~~

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess.

Louis Nizer

~~~

“That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-boyfriend.”

“I know, but I don’t hold any grudges.”

“I’m surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her.”

“Well, I had to swear to him she’s Jennifer Lopez’s double.”

“Wow! Is that true?”

“I wouldn’t lie. She’s twice her weight and twice her age!”

~~~

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

Groucho Marx

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

You Are Special

Ray’s Daily

April 26, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”

Malcolm S. Forbes

I think what has surprised me most over the years has been how many people I have met who are better than they think they are. Often I would sit with folks for hours as they searched for a better future helping them  see themselves in a new light. In most cases they did not value their everyday attributes, rather chosing to feel they were not attractive enough, were not smart enough, had not won enough or somne such. Yet in every cas it was their untapped wisdom and goodness that made them special, they just had never convinced themselves of their worthyness.

Make Life More Positive By Practicing Self-Compassion

By Adrian Sullivan,

In a world where a lot of things are naturally against you, you have to make sure you aren’t against yourself. Growing to be your biggest cheerleader and motivator is what self-compassion is all about. Self-compassion can also help boost your happiness by helping you become mindful of your internal dialogue.

Here are tips on how you can start practicing self-compassion.

Remember Not Everything Happens Overnight – Having patience with yourself to see your endeavors through is a way to practice self-compassion. We have to make ourselves comfortable with the process of being better.

Accept That It’s Okay To Make Mistakes – You are human and will make mistakes—that’s okay. Take accountability for mistakes you make and create better habits. Having self-compassion means that you care enough to not want to make the same mistakes. Learning from the past and responding well to adversity is one of the best ways we can develop self-compassion.

Embrace Mindfulness and Positive Intention – Being as intentional as possible is another great way to show self-compassion. When we are not measured, we are not being a friend to ourselves. Take time to be as thorough as possible to the situations you encounter.

Practicing Self-Compassion Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint – Don’t emphasize the things that are going wrong. Self-compassion can help you emphasize things that are going right or neutral. I invite you to align yourself with the virtues of your self-compassion, which is a true form of self-care and self-love. Let’s empower ourselves by treating ourselves how we deserve to be treated. Do you want to pat yourself on the back or bring yourself down?

If we water and nurture ourselves, we will have taken a huge step in showing self-compassion. Let’s show up for ourselves and be in our own corners every day.

~~~

“Self-care is never a selfish act–it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”

Parker Palmer

~~~

(Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well meaning husband who has inherited the house and kids.)

Monday A.M.  Dearest: Sleep late.  Everything under control.  Lunches packed.  Kids off to school.  Menu for dinner planned.  Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: fruit cup, finger-sandwiches.  Thermos of hot tea by bedside.  See you around six.

Tuesday A.M.  Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the refrigerator. Hope you got back to sleep.  Did the kids tell you about the Coke I put in the Thermoses?  The school might call you on this.  Dinner may be a little late.  I’m doing your door-to-door canvas for liver research.  Your lunch is in refrigerator.  Hope you like leftover chili.

Wednesday A.M.  Dear Doris: Why in the name of all that is sane would you put soap powder in the flour canister!  If you have time, could you please come up with a likely spot for Chris’s missing shoes?  We’ve checked the clothes hamper, garage, back seat of the car and wood box.  Did you know the school has a ruling on bedroom slippers?  There’s some cold pizza for you on a napkin in the oven drawer.  Will be late tonight.  Driving eight Girl Scouts to tour meatpacking house.

Thursday A.M.  Doris: Don’t panic over water in hallway.  It crested last night at 9 P.M.  Will finish laundry tonight.  Please pencil in answers to following:

1.  How do you turn on the garbage disposal?

2.  How do you turn off the milkman?

3.  Why would that rotten kid leave his shoes in his boots?

4.  How do you remove a Confederate flag inked on the palm of a small boy’s hand?

5.  What do you do with leftovers when they begin to snap at you when you open the door? I don’t know what you’re having for lunch!  Surprise me!

Friday A.M.  Hey: Don’t drink from pitcher by the sink.  Am trying to restore pink dress shirt to original white.  Take heart.  Tonight, the ironing will be folded, the house cleaned and the dinner on time. I called your mother. have a great day.

~~~

A man’s best friend is his dogma.

~~~

THE HISTORY OF MEDICINE

             2000 BC:  Here, eat this root

             1000 AD:  That root is heathen.  Say this prayer.

             1850 AD:  That prayer is pure superstition. Here, drink this potion.

             1940 AD:  That potion is snake oil.  Here, swallow this pill.

             1985 AD:  That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic

             2000 AD:  That antibiotic doesn’t work any more.  Here, eat this root.

~~~~

Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

~~~

She said, as the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me.  One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse.  “We’re required to inventory lost wallets and purses,” he explained.

“I think you’ll find everything there.”  As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, “I hope you don’t mind if we watch.  Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse.  And we’d like to see just how you do it.”

~~~

Don’t worry about temptation — as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.

~~~

A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

“Leave us alone you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard a big splash.

“Do you think,” said one clergy to the other, “we should just put up a sign that says ‘bridge out’ instead?”

~~~

“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”

Fred Rogers

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

This too will pass

Ray’s Daily

April 23, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Calmness is the cradle of power.”

Josiah Gilbert Holland

The other day, a late April day, we had freezing temperatures and a record breaking spring snow. The snow resulted in an early morning power outage that lasted until midday. My cpap (breathing machine) went out about 1 AM waking me up. I spent the next hours, mostly in the dark as my apartment got colder and colder. Once power was restored I ended my day by showing u at a meeting 10 minutes late because I misremembered the start time. It was truly a bad day.

In the past a day like that would have triggered stress but now I knew that the day would pass and the next day would be fine. I often remind myself that my problems won’t linger and they seldom do. Here is something I saved about twenty years ago on how we can handle stress.

Stress

Can stress cause physical problems?

Stress often causes physical problems. The most common include:

  • Headaches
  • Stomachaches
  • Body aches and pains
  • Flare-up of allergies
  • Problems falling asleep or staying asleep
  • Excessive hunger or lack of appetite

As your level of stress is reduced, you will find your physical problems will disappear.

What can I do?

  • Talk it out! Bottling up feelings and thoughts restricts your ability to work through what happened and cope with the pain and insecurity.
  • Listen to others.
  • Perform random acts of kindness. Reassure yourself there is tenderness and thoughtfulness in the world. Volunteer your services to someone in need.
  • Spend time with your family.
  • Return to your usual routine.
  • Sit under a tree, look at a brook, lake, river or ocean trip.
  • Remind yourself of other times you have felt strong emotions and how they resolved themselves. They will always be part of you and will guide who you become and what you do, but they do not rule your life.
  • Ask for help when you need it. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust, such as your parents or another relative, a school counselor or a spiritual leader. If your feelings continue to remain as strong or last longer than four to six weeks, you may want to seek professional help to help you sort through your feelings.
  • Do something that could help others – for example, take a first aid or CPR class.

~~~

. “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

William James

~~~

  • How do you get a redhead to argue with you? A: Say something
  • How do you get a redhead’s mood to change? A: Wait 10 seconds
  • If you love a Redhead, set her free…..if she follows you everywhere you go, if she pitches a tent in your front lawn, and if she puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she’s yours.
  • How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend? A: She has scratched “stay off MY TURF!” on his back with her nails.
  • What do you call a Redhead with an attitude? A: Normal
  • How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you? A: She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl
  • Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy.  One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

One of my favorite friends is a red headed professor and I know she is not like that (Don’t tell anyone but if I said she was I would be afraid of the consequences).

~~~

Some people are discovered, others are found out.

~~~

A little boy is told by his mother that he has been very bad this year. Thus, he would probably not get anything for Christmas.

“What? Nothing for Christmas?” cried the little boy.

“Well,” said mom, “maybe if you write a letter to baby Jesus and tell him how sorry you are, Santa will bring you some presents.”

The little boy returned to his room and began his letter. With each attempt at writing he would first apologize and then promise to be good for a certain amount of time. Each letter he crumpled up started again, making the “be good” time shorter with each letter.

Finally in frustration, he gave up and then was struck by a bolt of inspiration! Running to the living room he carefully removed the little Mother Mary figure from the family’s manger scene and just as carefully wrapped it in a sock, placing it in his top drawer. Returning to his desk, he took out a clean piece of paper and began to write:

“Dear Baby Jesus, if you ever want to see your Mother again…”

~~~

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model INSIDE her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. It worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method.

The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds!

~~~

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, “My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!”

Dave Barry

~~~

During the Second World War, when many young men were being trained for combat, they were stationed in the south, and it was the custom for some of the local residents to offer some Southern Hospitality to our fighting men.

One day, in a camp that will remain nameless, the phone rang; a woman at a local woman’s school offered to entertain a dozen soldiers at a party being held the upcoming weekend, and would the captain send some of her best behaved men over? The captain agreed, but before he could finalize the agreements, the woman made a request: “Please, suh, don’t send any Jewish boys.”

The captain agreed … no Jews.

The day of the party, the soldiers were dropped off at the school, and knocked on the door. The hostess opened the door … to the sight of a dozen Black soldiers, all in dress uniforms.

“Why, th-there m-must be some kind of m-mistake,” she stammered.

“No, ma’am,” said one of the soldiers, “Captain Rabinowitz, he doesn’t make mistakes.”

~~~

“Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them.”

Richard Buckminster Fuller

~~~

Joe: Why don’t you play golf with Bob any more?

Mike: Would you play with someone who curses after each shot, cheats in the bunkers and enters false scores on his card?

Joe: No!

Mike: Neither will Bob.

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“I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.”

Emo Philips

I think I know who some of them are.

Ray

~~~

“We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday’s burden over again today, and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it.”

John Newton

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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