Ray's musings and humor

She is my best friend

Ray’s Daily

April 24, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.”

Elbert Hubbard

friend-quote-graden

The article I want tp share with you today really rings true with me. My wife is, and has been my best friend for almost all of my life. The problem is it took me a long time to realize it. I just took my marriage for granted seldom telling my partner how much I appreciated her. Yet she was always there to help shore me up during bad times and cheer me on during good times.  I only wish I had exhibited the same traits as well as she does.

I have edited out a lot of the original article but kept the main points. Note especially the underlined paragraph that defines a best friend for it is there where my wife is is described.

Spouses Who Have This 1 View of Their Partner Are Twice as Happy in Life

Melanie Curtin

There are a lot of reasons to get married. One is being in love. Another is wanting the tax break. Yet another is the desire to publicly commit to your best friend that you will be with him or her forever, no matter what. Until death parts you. Now, science has proved a somewhat shocking concept: When it comes to having a fulfilling life, it’s that last part that matters the most. No, not the death part–the best friend status.

This science suggests that if you want a fulfilling partnership and satisfying life, there’s one question to add to the list that should arguably be put at the top:

Is s/he my best friend?

A best friend has your back. A best friend supports your dreams. A best friend is someone you can call anytime, anywhere, without feeling like they’ll resent you for it. They’re the person you put as an emergency contact and the first person you think about when something wonderful happens at work. They know all your quirks (and love you anyway). They can challenge you in deep ways because they know the ins and outs of your psyche (and love you anyway). They’re the kind of person who’ll make soup and draw you a bath when you’re sick, even if they’re busy, because they genuinely want you to feel better.

And if you’re already married to the person you consider your best friend, then this kind of research determination is cause for celebration.

Why? Because it proves what you’ve known all along: that you live a happier, healthier, richer life because of that gorgeous, flawed, sometimes grumpy, often generous, always interesting, perfectly imperfect person you chose to marry.

As Nietzsche said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

~~~

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”

Helen Keller

~~~

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.

The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks’ door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave.

“Just give me a chance to show you what I can do,” said the skinny man.

“Okay, see that giant redwood over there?” said the lumberjack. “Take your axe and go cut it down.”

The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack’s door. “I cut the tree down,” said the man.

The lumberjack couldn’t believe his eyes and said, “Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?”

“In the Sahara Forest,” replied the puny man.

“You mean the Sahara Desert,” said the lumberjack.

The little man laughed and answered back, “Oh sure, that’s what they call it now!”

~~~

Husband: Darling, will you love me when I’m old and feeble?

Spouse:  You bet I do.

~~~

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said,

“Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

~~~

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Thomas Jefferson

~~~

She told me that working as a court reporter, she hears a lot of testimony you will never hear on the TV show, Law and Order, including the following give-and-take between the judge and a mother during a paternity suit.

Judge: “Was the child born out of wedlock?”

Mother: “No, sir. Just outside of Louisville.”

~~~

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”

Elie Wiesel

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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I have more than enough

Ray’s Daily

April 23, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.

Marcus Aurelius

too Much

A couple of days ago my oldest daughter visited and made a dent in my closet’s over stuffed rack of clothes. There were shirts, pants and more that we selected to give to charity. Some of what we selected I had even forgotten I had, others were seldom if ever worn any longer.

As we decided what to send I found myself torn for I liked almost all of it. It then reminded me that I did not need so much. What was left was more than enough. If I had been wiser I never would of accumulated so much in the first place. When we limit what we have to what we need life is simpler and happier.

Main

by: Bill Greer

A Long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his horseman that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered. Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible. Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, “Why did I pushed myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself.”

 The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health, time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love to do. One day when we look back, we will realize that we don’t really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed.

 Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition. Life is definitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life.

 Life is a balance of Work and Play, Family and Personal time. You have to ecide how you want to balance your Life. Define your priorities, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence. So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Life is fragile, Life is short. Do not take Life for granted. Live a balance lifestyle and enjoy Life!

~~~

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

Mae West

~~~

HISTORY ACCORDING TO KIDS…

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th- and 6th-grade ages in Ohio. They were collected by two teachers over a period of three years.

  • Ancient Egypt was old.  It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert.  The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
  • The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history.  The Greeks also had myths.  A myth is a young female moth.
  • Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don’t really understand. The English and French still have problems.
  • Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.”! As a queen she was a success.  When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah!” and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.
  • Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.
  • Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes.  He wrote Donkey Hote.  The next great author was John Milton.  Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.
  • Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands… Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.
  • Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present.  Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel.  Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English.  He was very large.
  • The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions.  People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine.  The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
  • Madman Curie discovered radio.  She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn’t get to find radios because they were already taken.
  • Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers.  The other three were in the movies.  Karl made speeches and started revolutions.  Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess.”

~~~

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
~~~

“McDonald’s has lowered the calories in their fries from 610 calories to 540 calories. They’re worried about promoting obesity. So they lowered from 610 to 540 calories. That’s like decreasing the power in the electric chair by 10 volts.”

David Letterman

~~~

He said: When my sister got married, she asked to wear my mother’s wedding dress. The day she tried it on for the first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on her petite frame. Mother’s eyes welled with tears. I put my arm around her.

“You’re not losing a daughter,” I reminded her in time-honored fashion. “You’re gaining a son.”
“Oh, forget about that!” she said with a sob. “I used to fit into that dress!”

~~~

If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

Mary Engelbreit

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Don’t hold back

Ray’s Daily

April 20, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.

Marcus Garvey

yes-you-can

It seems lately that I keep running across the lessons folks have learned that they offer to others. As I was reviewing some things I have saved I found the following article written by Marc Chernoff that I like. I have had to edit it slightly but you’ll get the idea.

The other day I was talking with a friend about the people we know who hold themselves back. It is a shame that so many of us hide from what we might be because we worry so much about what others might think. I am glad that most of you that I know personally are living freely and enjoy your lives,

9 Things Every Inspired Person (That’s YOU) Should Know

1.Life’s biggest limitations are the ones you make in your mind.  Life’s biggest causes of unhappiness are the false beliefs you refuse to let go of.  You are capable of far more than you are presently thinking, imagining, doing or being.  .

2.You must deal with the world the way it is, not the way you wish it was.  Think positive.  Life is good.  Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting pure gold.  Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to always happen, but accepting that whatever happens is the best for the moment. 

3.What others do is out of your control.  Realize that you can’t always count on others to respect your feelings, even if you respect theirs.  You only have control over yourself.  And as for others, you can only accept them, or walk away.

4.You were not meant to sit at the edge of your comfort zone.  Not trying for fear of falling.  Your courage will unfold as your resolve takes hold.  .

5.You are not like anyone else.  Don’t you ever let anyone tell you that you can’t be exactly who you are.  In a world of comparison and conformity, take a stand.  Express your fears, tears, doubts, and insecurities – let others experience the real you.

6.True love is one-way traffic.  It’s a pure flow of giving and expecting nothing in return.  Anything else is a contract.    Remain clear, remain bright, and remain strong.  Love without expectation.

7.You cannot live your life at the mercy of chance.  You cannot stumble along with a map marked only with the places you fear, or the places you know you don’t want to revisit.  You cannot remain trapped, endlessly, in a state where you are unable to ask for directions, even though you’re terribly lost, because you don’t know your destination.  You have to stand up, look at yourself in the mirror, and say, “It isn’t good enough for me to know only what I DON’T want in life.  I need to decide what I DO want.”

8.Being genuine is more important than being right.  You may say or do all the right things, but if it doesn’t come from the heart, it means nothing.  You may not always know the right things to say or do, but if your intent is genuine, then it means the world.  When you work from a foundation of truth, you are free to make as many choices, free to make as many mistakes, free to take as much time as necessary to get it right.

9.Your future depends on what you do right now.  Challenge yourself to be who you know you are capable of being.  Challenge yourself to follow through – to live what you preach, to walk your talk.  As long as you keep doing your thing, you’re still cruising far ahead of everyone who’s too scared to even try.

~~~

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.”

“Amazing,” said the counselor. “How did you do it?”

“I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”

~~~

People are lonely, because they build walls instead of bridges.

~~~

We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came upon the following garbled diagnosis: “This man has pholenfrometry.” Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double checked with the doctor. After listening to the tape, he shook his head.

“This man,” he said, translating for her, “has fallen from a tree.”

~~~

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

Mae West

~~~

He said: When I was a kid, my dad and I had a running joke. If anyone asked what he did for a living, I always said, “He’s a sports mechanic. He fixes boxing matches and horse races.”

Once I answered a teacher this way. She flipped out and summoned my parents. Dad calmed her down by explaining it was a joke.

“So, what do you do?” she asked.

Dad, a sales rep for a pharmaceutical company said, “I sell drugs.”

~~~

The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.

~~~

A Civil War soldier, who had lost his bayonet, whittled one from wood so that he could pass inspection. He hoped he would not be discovered until the regiment had gone into battle, where he planned to pick one up from a dead soldier.

At inspection, an officer asked to see his bayonet. The soldier stated, “Sir, I promised my father I would not unsheathe my bayonet unless I intended to kill someone with it.”

The Officer insisted that the soldier hand over the bayonet.

Taking it out, the soldier looked skyward and said, “May the Lord change my bayonet to wood for breaking my vow.”

~~~

Definition of a teenager? God’s punishment for enjoying sex.

~~~

He said:

I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last.

She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years: “When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance.”

~~~

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Weathering the storm

Ray’s Daily

April 19, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“Adversity quickens the mind, awakens the spirit and strength the soul.”

Lailah Gifty Akita,

-stormy-oak-sunrise-greg-chapman

I finally understand that the problems and disappointments of my youth helped me later in life. The years I spent in a boarding school for kids from broken homes where we went home one week a year taught me I could live with lonesomeness and survive with others. My being allowed to enter a technical engineering school at 15 with only second world war veteran classmates, while working as a dishwasher to pay for my tuition. The experience taught me I could survive and do well. I joined the navy reserve when I was 14 using a fake birth certificate which resulted in my being called to active duty when I was 16, the navy trained me on analog computers, sending me to school for a year which prepared me for a long career in the computer industry. I met my wife in New York on a blind date and we got married when I was 18. I sailed around the world on an aircraft carrier and participated in the Korean War.

I was discharged when I was 19 and went on to have a fantastic life. Most of it due to what I had learned growing up. I feel like I was the Oak tree in the following story.

Two Acorns

by: Neil Eskelin

If you want to understand adversity, take two identical acorns from the same oak tree and plant them in two different locations. Plant the first in the middle of a dense forest, and the other on a hill by itself.

 Here’s what will happen. The oak standing on a hillside is exposed to every storm and gale. As a result its roots plunge deep into the earth and spread in every direction, even wrapping themselves around giant boulders. At times it may seem the tree isn’t growing fast enough – but the growth is happening under ground. It’s as if the roots know they must protect the tree from the threatening elements.

 What about the acorn planted in the forest? It becomes a weak, frail sapling ­ having to compete with giant oaks for nutrients and space. And since it is protected by its neighbors, the little oak doesn’t sense the need to spread its roots for support.

 Don’t be afraid of adversity ­ welcome it! That’s your sure-fire route to ultimate success.

~~~

“Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can?t build on it; It’s only for wallowing in.”

Katherine Mansfield

~~~

Helen and Kelly were discussing their busy schedules.

Helen said, “Kelly, I must ask you something.  Every day I feel incredibly run down and tired.  And yet, I see you looking as fresh as a rose.  I have to know: what’s your secret?”

“My secret?  Every morning, without fail, I wake up at six o’clock sharp.”

“You wake up at six o’clock?”

“Yes, and then I look at the clock, see what time it is, and go back to sleep for another four hours.”

~~~

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

~~~

Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami Beach, are getting ready to go out to dinner. Shirley says, “Abe, darling, do you want me to wear this Chanel suit or the Gucci?”

Abe says, “Do I care?”

A few minutes later Shirley says, “Abe, should I wear my Cartier watch or my Rolex?”

Abe says, “Who cares?”

A few more minutes pass and Shirley says, “Abe, love, shall I wear my five-carat pear diamond ring or my six-carat round diamond ring with the baguettes?”

Abe says, “Shirley, I really don’t care what you wear, but if you don’t move your tuchas, we’re going to miss the Early Bird Special.”

~~~

I never eat when I can dine.

MAURICE CHEVALIER

~~~

From Ken

WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN

Ken: Can I buy you a drink?     SHE: Actually I’d rather have the money.

Ken: Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice?     SHE: Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

Ken: How did you get to be so beautiful?     SHE: I must’ve been given your share.

Ken: Your face must turn a few heads.  SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

Ken: Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out. SHE: Okay, get out.

Ken: I think I could make you very happy. SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

Ken: Where have you been all my life? SHE: Hiding from you.

Ken: Haven’t I seen you some place before?  SHE: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Ken: Is this seat empty?  SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Ken: So, what do you do for a living? SHE: I’m a female impersonator.

~~~

My wife can say more in a look than I can in a book.

Henny Youngman

~~~

“Once in the wilds of Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew and had to live on food and water for a number of weeks.”

W. C. Fields

~~~

An elderly gentleman wasn’t feeling well, and became irritated with his doctor because he wasn’t getting better after five visits.

“Look!” said the doctor. “I’m doing all I can to help you. I can’t make you younger!”

“I wasn’t interested in getting any younger,” said the man. “I just want to continue getting older.”

~~~

Nobody is stronger, nobody is weaker than someone who came back. There is nothing you can do to such a person because whatever you could do is less than what has already been done to him.

Elie Wiesel

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Hang in there

Ray’s Daily

April 17, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.

Audrey Hepburn

adapt

As I underwent medical tests yesterday one of the Doctors commented on the wide variety of my previous medical encounters and what appeared to by my resiliency. I am not sure resiliency is the right word. The operations and medications have generally worked and the life style modifications have not been that bad.

I actually think the experiences have taught me the value of going with what ever happens in life and the importance of patiently dealing with what needs to be done. I think the real key to aging is adaptability. Rather than focusing on what isn’t, it is better to concentrate on what can be and  to do what needs to be done.

I am really not as resilient as I am grateful for the ability to move on. You learn a lot as the years go by, it is what you do with what you learn that makes a difference.

 

Instructions For Life – Jr. H. Jackson Brown

Excerpts from his book Life’s Little Instruction Book

  1. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2.Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.

3.Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

4.When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

5.Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

6.Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

7.Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

8.In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

  1. Remember that your character is your destiny.

10.When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

11.Spend some time alone every day.

12.Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

13.Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.

  1. At least once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
  2. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.

16.Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

17.Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

  1. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

~~~

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

You are one of us if:

-Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

-The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

-You feel like the morning after, and you haven’t been anywhere.

-Your children begin to look middle aged.

-You decide to procrastinate but then never get around to it.

-A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.

-You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

-You look forward to a dull evening.

-Your knees buckle and your belt won’t.

-After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.

-You just can’t stand people who are intolerant.

-You burn the midnight oil after 9 p.m..

-The little gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.

-You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.

~~~

Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

~~~

For the first time in many years, an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $7.50, he couldn’t help but comment, “The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents.”

“Well, sir,” the attendant replied with a grin, “You’re really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now.”

~~~

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

~~~

Andy Rooney On Phone-In-Polls: You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there’s always like 18% that say “I don’t know.” It costs 90 cents to call up and vote and they’re voting “I don’t know.” Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone. (Says into phone) “I DON’T KNOW!” (Hangs up looking proud.) Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you’re not sure about.” This guy probably calls up phone sex girls for $2.95 to say, “I’m not in the mood.”

~~~

I have a switch in my apartment that doesn’t do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off. One day I got a call from a woman in France who said, -Cut it out!

Steven Wright

~~~

Mary and Sue were best of friends and tried to do everything together. Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.

“Great,” Sue exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”

“Wonderful,” Mary replied. “I’ll go with you.”

~~~

ENERGY: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something.

~~~

At a pharmacy, a blonde woman asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant’s weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

“It won’t work,” countered the woman. “I’m not the mother, I’m the aunt.”

~~~

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.    

Alexander Graham Bell

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

REST!!

Ray’s Daily

April 17, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

He enjoys true leisure who has time to improve his soul’s estate.

Henry David Thoreau

rest

I am off this morning to the hear Doctor where I will also get a cardic echo check on my leaky heart valve. Since I am running behind I am sending you another reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on April 17, 2008

It is another of those runaway days. With Kiwanis, a Salvation Army volunteer appreciation luncheon, an Arthritis seminar and a Immigration seminar there are only a few hours left. I am in the process of reducing the daily level of activity but these commitments where made some time ago and have to be honored. So what I am going to do is give you something I saved some time ago. I decided to send it to you because one of my friends has been carrying too heavy a load and when I said she should take a vacation she told me all the reasons why she could not. I disagreed with her but could not convince her so I am dedicating the following to her and all the rest of you who just can’t stop.

Work, Rest and Play!

According to the world ethic, happiness is not natural – happiness is a pay-packet you earn for putting in the hours. There are, in particular, four erroneous, fearful beliefs about happiness that help make up the work ethic, and they are,

Happiness has to be deserved

Happiness has to be worked for

Happiness has to be earned

Happiness has to be paid for

The work ethic is all about labor: birth is labor, life is labor, love is labor, happiness is labor, work is labor, death is rest. We labor, not for the joy of it, but because we have learned to believe we must. The purpose of the work ethic is to work hard so as to atone for your guilt and unworthiness and thereby “deserve happiness” once more.

“Workaholism” is endemic, and for many of us our life is governed entirely by work. Once upon a time, we worked to live; now, we live to work. Any “life” we do have is merely recovery from work. We work, recover from work, and then work again. We go to the office to work.

After work, we bring home some work with us. For rest, we go to the gym for a work-out. Totally exhausted, we go to therapy to work through our problems – “I’ve done a lot of work on myself,” we say. After all that, there’s the house-work! Finally, we hit the sack, too tired to be happy, but our mind is still working and we cannot sleep. No problem! Insomnia is a wonderful chance to get more work done!

The work ethic is motivated by the belief that anything worthwhile requires great work, effort and labour. According to the work ethic: creativity is not inspiration; it’s perspiration; love is a labour, not a joy; success is a fight, it never comes easily; health is about a “no pain, no gain” attitude; salvation is hardest of all – it is a wrestling match with the angels – just ask Jacob. Nothing comes easily according to the work ethic.

We are too busy working to be happy, to be happy. In the last ten years, the average working week has increased by over ten hours to nearly 50 hours a week; the lunch break faces extinction; 6 out of 10 men and 4 out of 10 women work Saturdays; Sundays are now a workday for many. To cap it all, when we dare leave the office at 5pm, there is always one sad, brainless colleague who shouts out, “Part timer”, or, “Only doing a half day?” Guilt ensues.

As a society we spend more and more time as a human doing and less and less time as a human being. Indeed, the work ethic despises rest and play. We hardly ever go out to play anymore; instead we go for cardiovascular workouts, business lunches and corporate away days. According to the work ethic, rest is “downtime” – nothing useful is happening. Too much rest and you lose your edge!

Kick the work ethic into touch! When you are relaxed and happy, you perform brilliantly. Remember the old saying: “you do not stop playing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop playing”. Work is an attitude. So too is play. Go out to play!

Extracted from Happiness NOW , article by Robert Holden

~~~

If you are losing your leisure, look out; you may be losing your soul.

Logan P. Smith

~~~

SEUSS COMPUTES

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

 

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

And your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash,

Then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!

 

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,

Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

 

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss

So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

‘Cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!

 

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,

And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,

Then you have to flash your memory

and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.

Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

~~~

Take interest in your future. It’s where you’re going to spend the rest of your life.

~~~

A 50-ish man is driving on a slow highway in the middle of the night. He has a flat tire. He gets out of his car and is changing his tire, when out of the blue, another car pulls up behind him.

He thinks “That’s nice. Someone is stopping to help me.”

The guy gets out of his car, walks to the front of the other car and lifts the hood.

The owner says: “What the hell are you doing?”

The other guy replies: “Well, I see you’re stealing the tires, so I’m taking the damn battery!”

~~~

“If you don’t make mistakes it means you’re not really trying… and you’re probably boring too.”

~~~

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, “After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, ‘If you don’t be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!’ It worked.”

~~~

Friendship is what binds the world together in peace, may we all become friends.

~~~

“I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: ‘This door is alarmed.’ I said to myself: ‘How do you think I feel?'”

Arnold Brown

~~~

Come, gentle Spring; ethereal Mildness, come!

James Thomson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

We’re OK

Ray’s Daily

April 16, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

To overcome difficulties is to experience the full delight of existence.

Arthur Schopenhauer

Don't find fault

Here we go, a new week. Hopefully we will end the week with more traditional Spring weather. Lately it seems like we go through all four seasons every week.

These days I find we need to be ready to deal with our ever-changing reality. The good news is that my wife and I seem to be able to handle what comes with out agonizing over our difficulties, rather each challenge is viewed as just another step in our aging journey. Bemoaning what happens has no value at all so we just celebrate that we made it through another day.

The following is a little like the way we see life.

If You Bring Love

Joseph Campbell

At a certain moment in Nietzsche’s life, the idea came to him of what he called ‘the love of your fate.’ Whatever your fate is, whatever the heck happens, you say, “This is what I need.” It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge.

If you bring love to that moment – not discouragement – you will find the strength is there. Any disaster that you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. What a privilege! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow. Then, when looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures followed by wreckage were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You’ll see that this is really true.

Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not.

~~~

Resilience isn’t a single skill. It’s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive.

Jean Chatzky

~~~

WHY AGING ISN’T SO BAD:

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.

There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

~~~

“When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic.”

Steven Wright

~~~

The stages of marriage:

Stage 1: Sugar dumpling, I’ve really been worried about my baby girl. That’s a bad sniffle and there’s no telling about these things with all the strep that’s going around.  I’m going to put you in the hospital for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the food’s terrible, but I’m going to bring you dinner every night from Rosini’s.  I’ve got it all arranged with the floor supervisor.

Stage 2: Listen, darling, I don’t like the sound of that cough.  I’m going to call Doc Miller to rush over here.  Now you go to bed like a good girl just for papa.

Stage 3: Maybe you’d better lie down, honey. Nothing like little rest when you feel lousy. I’ll bring you something.  Have we got any canned soup?

Stage 4: Now look, dear, be sensible. After you’ve fed the kids and gotten the dishes done and the floor mopped, you’d better lie down for a while.

Stage 5: Why don’t you take a couple of aspirins?

Stage 6: Why you’d just gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a seal all evening!

~~~

It may be possible to bypass all of America when the Federal Interstate Highway System is completed.

~~~

A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.

Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

~~~

Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.

Karl Barth

~~~

Morris telephoned his wife Sadie. “Sadie, darling, I’ve got some good news. You know that Broadway musical you’ve been dying to see?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’ve just bought us two tickets to see it.”

“Oh Morris, that’s wonderful. I’ll start dressing immediately.”

“Sadie, that’s just what I wanted to hear you say. The tickets are for tomorrow night’s performance.”

~~~

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”

The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”

The little girl replied, “My homework.”

~~~

We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday’s burden over again today, and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it.

John Newton

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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