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Ray’s Daily

August 4, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

The surest way to escape anxiety and defeat despair is action. Do, don’t dwell.

Michael Josephson

Some days are challenging as we live our lives. Too often we let these challenges take us down, fortunately it does not have to be this way. Especially with the Covid epidemic it is important that we do our best. As difficult as things may seem we can do well.

Here are excerpts from a piece I was sent by Marc Chernoff, he minds us that our days are up to us. I hope you will join me as we continue to do our best.

7 Mantras for Those Who Have Lost Their Motivation and Hope

  • Never assume that you are stuck with the way things are right now. Life changes every single second, and so can you. – When hard times hit there’s a tendency to extrapolate and assume the future holds more of the same. For some strange reason this doesn’t happen as much when things are going well. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future through that same dirty lens, and nothing will be able to focus your foggy judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that is worn out and false.
  • It is what it is. Accept it, learn from it, and grow from it. It doesn’t matter what’s been done; what truly matters is what you do from here.
  • Use pain, frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. – Instead of getting angry, find the lesson. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith.
  • The most effective way to move away from something you don’t want, is to move toward something you do want, gradually and consistently. – The key is in building small daily rituals, and understanding that what you do in small steps on a daily basis changes everything over time.
  • Effort is never wasted, even when it leads to disappointing results. For it always makes you stronger, more educated, and more experienced. – So when the going gets tough, be patient and keep going. Just because you are struggling does not mean you are failing.
  • Practice patience. And remember that patience is not about waiting—it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working diligently to make daily progress.
  • Don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way to avoid being derailed by them. – As you strive to make progress, you will inevitably encounter road blocks in the form of difficult people. But realize that the greatest stress you go through when dealing with a difficult person is not fueled by the words or actions of this person—it is fueled by your mind that gives their words and actions importance.
  • As you age, you’ll learn to value your time, genuine relationships, meaningful work, and peace of mind, much more. Little else will matter. – Remember this, especially when the going gets chaotic and tough. Focus on what matters in each moment and let go of what does not. Eliminate needless distractions. Stop investing so much of your energy into refining the wrong areas of your life.

~~~

You must expect setbacks and regressions. Don’t say to yourself “All is lost. I have to start all over again.” This is not true. What you have gained you have gained….When you return to the the road, you return to the place where you left it, not to where you started.

Henri Nouwen37

  ~~~

A truck driver went to look for a job.  He showed up at this one place that needed truck drivers bad. He was told that if he could pass an exam, he would be able to go right to work.

The truck driver asked “If’n I was to pass this test, what time do you want me and Leroy to show up for work?”

The man said, “Who is Leroy?”

“Oh, Leroy be my swamper, we been togetter for sebenteen yearrr, I don’t go nowhere wifout Leroy.”

“Well we do need truck drivers really bad, OK. If you pass your exam you and Leroy can start to work tomorrow.”

The man said the first part of the exam was oral. “Suppose you’re driving down the road at 65 MPH, and you come around a curve of a narrow road, then you come to a bridge, and in the middle of the bridge is another truck jackknifed in the middle of the bridge. You can’t stop, you can’t go to the left or right. Quick, What’s the first thing you’re going to do?”

The truck driver took his time answering. “Well the first thing I do will be reach over and wake up Leroy.”

“Why would you wake up Leroy first?”

“Well me and Leroy been togetter fer sebenteen yearrr, and he ain’t never seen a wreck like we gonna have!”

~~~

“When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left.”

Sufi Epigram

~~~

Linda was driving her old beat up car on the Highway with her 7 year old son. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her.

After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind.

Linda looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. She waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, “Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?”

Her son piped up from the back seat, “I do… because you couldn’t catch the other cars!”

~~~

Grass grows in direct proportion to your unwillingness to mow it.

~~~

A lady in New York had a beautiful black cat, named Felix, who spent his days outside and came indoors at night. One cool October evening, he disappeared. The neighbor searched for him in vain for several days. The following spring, however, Felix reappeared, looking healthy and clean. She figured he’s been out sowing his wild oats. Everything was back to normal until that autumn, when Felix disappeared again. The next spring, he returned. Perplexed, my aunt’s friend began asking neighbors for clues. Finally, she rang the bell of an older couple who lived down the street. “A black cat?” the woman said. “Oh, yes! My husband and I hated to see him out in the cold, so we bought a cat carrier. We take him to Florida with us every winter.”

~~~

Support a Lawyer – Become a Doctor

~~~

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong dearest??” asked the confused husband.

“Oh darling,” sobbed the wife, “I was cleaning little Suzie’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do???”

“Well,” replied the man…

“I guess a spanking is out of the question?”

~~~

It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.

Professor Dumbledore

~~~

Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were. “I’m so tough”, said the first boy, “that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week”.

“Well”, said the second little boy, “I’m so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans in a day”.

“That’s nothing”, said the third boy. “When my parents take me to see my grandma and grampa, I can wear them out in a hour”.

~~~

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.”

Helen Keller

~~~

Remember Sam Levenson? Not enough people do. He was such a clever man but time has diminished the memory of his wit. I thought I’d resurrect him, as his words today are as pithy as they were when he wrote them.

“Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.”

“The first screw to get loose in your head is the one that holds your tongue in place.”

“You’re only young once. After that it takes some other excuse for behaving like an idiot.”

“Even if the majority agrees on an idiotic idea, it is still an idiotic idea.”

“The greatness of this or any country may still be measured by the number of people trying to get IN vs. the number trying to get OUT.”

“The best defense of our country is to keep it at all times WORTH defending.”

“War doesn’t prove who is right; only who is left.”

“War is better at abolishing nations than nations are at abolishing wars.”

“You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.”

“There are more important things in life than money. The trouble is they all cost money.”

~~~

You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to teach anything. You just have to be who you are: a bright flame shining in the darkness of despair, a shining example of a person able to cross bridges by opening your heart and mind.

Tsoknyi Rinpoche

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Don’t Stumble

Ray’s Daily

August 3, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Very often we are our own worst enemy as we foolishly build stumbling blocks on the path that leads to success and happiness.”

Louis Binstock

Ray’s Daily first published on August 3, 2005

~~~

Boy is this true or what? It seems like we can find all kinds of reasons to avoid opportunity to be happy. I bet you can think of hundreds of reasons why people fail to take a chance on happiness. For some it is the fear that they will do something others will think foolish, others let shyness keep them from letting people know what they have to offer, the list goes on and on. I sometimes think that there are people who are only happy when they are unhappy (think about that one), they are the naysayers we meet every day. I prefer those who holler load and clear, “Here world, here I come.

” Dance some, laugh a lot, especially at yourself, and enjoy, it is up to you. So “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead” here we come.

~~~

Some one sent me these don’ts that seem to hit the mark:

  • Don’t ever be reluctant to show your feelings. When you’re happy, give in to it. When you’re not, live with it.
  • Don’t ever be afraid to try to make things better; you might be surprised at the results.
  • Don’t ever take the weight of the world on your shoulders.
  • Don’t ever feel threatened by the future; take life one day at a time.
  • Don’t ever feel guilty about the past; what’s done is done. Learn from any mistakes you might have made.
  • Don’t ever feel that you are alone. There is always somebody there for you to reach out to.
  • Don’t ever forget that you can achieve so many of the things you can imagine. It’s not as hard as it seems.
  • Don’t ever stop loving, don’t ever stop believing.
  • Don’t ever stop dreaming your dreams.

Author Unknown

~~~

Why not seize the pleasure at once, how often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparations.

Jane Austen

~~~

For many of you this will not mean much. For myself and any others that served in the Navy in the fifties this is exactly as it was.

How to Simulate The Life Of A Sailor. . .

Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside & out, & live in it for 6 months.

Repaint your entire house every month.

Raise the thresholds & lower the headers of your front & back doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass through them.

On Mondays, Wednesdays, & Fridays, turn your water heater temperature up to 200 degrees. On Tuesdays & Thursdays, turn the water heater off. On Saturdays & Sundays tell your family they use too much water during the week, so no bathing will be allowed.

Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling, so you can’t turn over without getting out & then getting back in.

Have your neighbor come over each day at 5 am, blow a whistle loudly, & shout “Reveille, reveille, all hands heave out & trice up.”

Empty all the garbage bins in your house & sweep the driveway three times a day, whether it needs it or not.

Post a menu on the kitchen door informing your family that they are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for an hour. When they finally get to the kitchen, tell them you are out of steak, but they can have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they ignore the menu & just ask for hot dogs.

Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. At the alarm, jump up & dress as fast as you can, making sure to button your top shirt button & tuck your pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard & uncoil the garden hose.

Make coffee using eighteen scoops of budget-priced coffee grounds per pot, & allow the pot to simmer for 5 hours before drinking.

~~~

May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.

~~~

Down in the south, there are many churches known as “answer back” churches. When the preacher says something, the congregation naturally replies.

One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on what it would take for the church to become better.

He said “If this church is to become better, it must take up it’s bed, and walk.”

The congregation said “Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk.”

Encouraged by their response, he went further.

“If this church is going to become better, it will have to throw aside it’s hindrances and run!”

The congregation replied,

“Let it run, preacher, let it run!”

Now really into his message, he spoke stronger.

“If this church really wants to become great, it will have to take up it’s wings and fly!”

“Let it fly, Preacher, let it fly!” the congregation shouts.

The Preacher gets louder.

“If this church is going to fly, it will cost money!”

The congregation replied.         “Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk.”

~~~

At times, it is better to keep your mouth shut and let people wonder if you’re a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.  

James G. Sinclair

~~~

There was a history professor and a psychology professor sitting on a deck at a nudist colony. The history professor asked the psychology professor, “Have you read Marx?”  

The psychology professor replied, “Yes, I think they are from the wicker chairs.”  

~~~

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.

She nudged me and whispered, “Wake up, wake up!”

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they’re eating the pork casserole I made tonight.”

“That’ll teach them!” I replied.

~~~

A mother may hope that her daughter will get a better husband that she did, but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did.

~~~

Father O’Malley answers the phone:

“Hello, is this Father O’Malley?”

“It is.”

“This is the IRS. Can you help us?”

“I can.”

“Do you know a Ted Houlihan?”

“I do.”

“Is he a member of your congregation?”

“He is.”

“Did he donate $10,000 to the church?”

“He will.”

~~~

Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?

~~~

When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it’s bottomless, that it doesn’t have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space.

Pema Chodron

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Don’t Worry Too Much

Ray’s Daily

August 2, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

”People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.”

George Bernard Shaw

I think that we often hold on to our worries so long that they become almost to much to carry. It is especially foolish since so many of our worries seldom turn out to be worthy of our concern.

I learned long ago that anticipating bad outcomes is a waste of time. It is much better to have a problem occasionally than to fear that they are always just ahead. We do not need to carry lingering concerns that eventually keep us from happiness.

Here is a story that reminds us that the longer we let our worries linger the worse they become.

Stop stresing so much

“Once upon a time a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical ‘glass half empty or glass half full’ question. Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, ‘How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?’

Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds.

She replied, ‘From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter.  It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.’

As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, ‘Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.’”

~~~

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo F. Buscaglia

~~~

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first session of Housekeeping Tips for Regular People. If you’re a Martha Stewart type of housekeeper, this column is NOT for you. However, for the rest of you, this is your chance to learn 15 Secret Shortcuts to Good Housekeeping that your mother never told you.

SECRET TIP 1: DOOR LOCKS: If a room clearly can’t be whipped into shape in 30 days, much less 30 minutes, employ the Locked Door Method of cleaning. Tell anyone who tries to go in the room that you accidentally locked the door and can’t find the key.

Of course, the locksmith can’t possibly come until tomorrow. CAUTION: It is not advisable to use this tip for the bathroom.

Time: 2 seconds

SECRET TIP 2: DUCT TAPE: No home should be without an ample supply. Not only is it handy for plumbing repairs, but it’s a great way to hem drapes, tablecloths, clothes, just about anything. No muss, no fuss.

Time: 2-3 minutes

SECRET TIP 3: OVENS: If you think ovens are just for baking, think again. Ovens represent at least 9 cubic feet of hidden storage space, which means they’re a great place to shove dirty dishes, dirty clothes, or just about anything you want to get out of sight when company’s coming.

Time: 2 minutes

SECRET TIP 4: CLOTHES DRYERS: Like Secret Tip 3, except bigger. CAUTION: Avoid hiding flammable objects here.

Time: 2.5 minutes

SECRET TIP 5: WASHING MACHINES & FREEZERS: Like Secret Tip 4, except even bigger.

Time: 3 minutes

SECRET TIP 6: DUST RUFFLES: No bed should be without one. Devotees of Martha Stewart believe dust ruffles exist to keep dust out from under a bed or to help coordinate the colorful look of a bedroom. The rest of us know a dust ruffle’s highest and best use is to hide whatever you’ve managed to shove under the bed. (Refer to Secret Tips 3, 4, 5.)

Time: 4 minutes

SECRET TIP 7: DUSTING: The 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House method says: Never dust under what you can dust around.

Time: 3 minutes

SECRET TIP 8: DISHES: Don’t use them. Use plastic and you won’t have to.

Time: 1 minute

SECRET TIP 9: CLOTHES WASHING (EEWWW): This secret tip is brought to you by an inventive teenager. When this teen’s mother went on a housekeeping strike for a month, the teen discovered you can extend the life of your underwear by two …if you turn it wrong side out and, yes, rerun it.

CAUTION: This tip is recommended only for teens and those who don’t care if they get in a car wreck.

Time: 3 seconds

SECRET TIP 10: IRONING: If an article of clothing doesn’t require a full press and your hair does, a curling iron is the answer. In between curling your hair, use the hot wand to iron minor wrinkles out of your clothes. Yes, it really does work, or so I’m told, by other disciples of the 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House philosophy.

Time: 5 minutes (including curling your hair)

SECRET TIP 11: VACUUMING: Stick to the middle of the room, which is the only place people look. Don’t bother vacuuming under furniture. It takes way too long and no one looks there anyway.

Time: 5 minutes, entire house; 2 minutes, living room only

SECRET TIP 12: LIGHTING: The key here is low, low, and lower. It’s not only romantic, but bad lighting can hide a multitude of dirt.

Time: 10 seconds

SECRET TIP 13: BED MAKING: Get an old-fashioned waterbed. No one can tell if those things are made up or not, saving you, oh, hundreds of seconds over the course of a lifetime.

Time: 0

SECRET TIP 14: SHOWERS, TOILETS, AND SINKS: Forget one and two. Concentrate on three.

Time: 1 minute

SECRET TIP 15: If you already knew at least 10 of these tips, don’t even think about inviting a Martha Stewart type to your home.

~~~

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.

~~~

The detective was leafing through the suspect’s folder. “Hmmm, quite a record.” he said. “Shoplifting, hit-and-run, disorderly conduct, armed robbery,.”

“Yeah, I know.” said the felon. “It took me quite a while to figure out what I was good at.”

~~~

I’m so old, I can remember a time when we actually had three branches of federal government.

~~~

The teacher was trying to explain to her class the mean of the word “difference” as it is used in arithmetic. She drew seven circles on the blackboard and said to her students: “Watch as I erase four of the circles. Now, Billy, tell me, what’s the difference?”

Billy spoke up quickly, “That’s what I say, what’s the difference? Who cares?”

~~~

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.”

George F. Burns

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

A Special Lady

Ray’s Daily

July 30, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.

David Frost

I am a little brain dead today so here is another reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on July 30, 2007

If I asked you what success was, what would you say? I know many would answer that is some achievement that meets other people’s definitions; big money, titles, medals, awards and the like. It is as if they believe that success comes from exceeding the measurements set by others. I prefer to think of it as defined by one of the definitions in the dictionary — The achievement of something desired.

 The reason I asked is that I had coffee on Saturday with a truly successful lady, she is smart, has an MBA, has high energy, and excels on a daily basis. We first met a few years ago when she was struggling with what career path she wanted to follow. One that could be based on her education and business experience or one based on her desire to help others. She decided to help others.

 These days she provides companionship and care to developmentally disabled adults. If they need help with their bank account, getting groceries, paying bills or almost anything else, she is there. One of the things that impresses me the most is that she talks about these people as friends and with respect. She even has one of these good friends who partners with her on a Meals on Wheels route. If that was not enough she spends her spare time visiting with other friends she has made over the years. As an example she told how much she loves going to the farmers market with one of them each Saturday as they both buy food for their individual home needs.Of course she does not make very much money, but her and her supportive husband have decided that they don’t need more than they have.

 The reason we met was she wanted to share with me that she had decided not to pursue a promotion in her organization supervising other care givers. Why? Because she would no longer get the joy she experiences when she holds the hand of someone in need that loves her. People still talk about her making the choice she has made, after all she has an MBA, but I doubt that they know what success really is, but I know that she does.

 Our world would be a better place if more people would choose their own path to success, a place where they would reap the real rewards the world has to offer.

~~~

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.

Mother Teresa

~~~

The children begged for a hamster and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it, they got one. They named it Danny.

Two months later, when Mom found herself responsible for cleaning and feeding the creature, she located a prospective new home for it.

The children took the news of Danny’s imminent departure quite well, though one of them remarked, “He’s been around here a long time, we’ll miss him.”

“Yes,” Mom replied, “But he’s too much work for one person and since I’m that one person, I say he goes.”

Another child offered, “Well, maybe if he wouldn’t eat so much and wouldn’t be so messy, we could keep him.”

But Mom was firm. “It’s time to take Danny to his new home now,” she insisted. “Go and get his cage.”

With one voice and in tearful outrage the children shouted, “Danny? We thought you said Daddy!”

~~~

People are never too busy to tell you all they have to do.

~~~

A Nebraska farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring Farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy about 9 opened the door.

“Is yer Pa home?” the farmer asked.

No sir, he ain’t,” the boy replied. “He went into town.”

“Well”, said the farmer, “is yer Ma here?”

“No, sir, she ain’t here neither. She went into town with Pa.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“He went with Ma and Pa.”

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

“Is there anything I can do fer ya?” the boy asked politely.  “I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one.  Or maybe I Could take a message fer Pa.”

“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to yer Pa. It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant.”

The boy considered for a moment. “You would have to talk to Pa About that,” he finally conceded. “If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but, I really don’t know how much he gets for Howard.”

~~~

“Someone’s boring me. I think it’s me.”

Dylan Thomas

~~~

I was setting up a large, cast aluminum, decorative sundial in my yard that I had purchased from a garden catalog.  

A neighbor, an old Florida cracker, was leaning on the fence watching my progress and asked, “What the heck’s that for?”  

I explained,  “It’s a sun dial, see the sun will hit that small triangular spike and cast a shadow on the face of the sundial. Then, as the sun moves across the sky, the shadow also moves across the calibrated dial, enabling a person to determine the correct time.”  

My neighbor shook his head and muttered,. “Huh, what will they think of next?”  

~~~

“I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked, “Do you have any firearms with you?”

I said, “What do you need?”

Steven Wright

~~~

Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big black, deep hole.

One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. There was no sound.

He turned to the other guy and said “that must be a deep hole…let’s throw a bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit bottom.” The men found a bigger rock and both picked it up and lugged it to the hole and dropped it in.

They listened for some time and never heard a sound. Again, they agreed that this must be one deep hole and maybe they should throw something even bigger into it.

One man spotted a rail-road tie nearby. They picked up the tie, grunting and groaning, and lugged it to the hole. They tossed it in. No sound. All of a sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like the wind, and flew past the men and jumped straight into the hole. The men were amazed.

About that time, an old hayseed farmer came out of the woods and asked the men if they had seen a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible incident they had just witnessed…they had just seen this goat fly out of the woods and run and leap into the big hole. The man asked the farmer if this could have been his goat.

The old farmer said “naw, that can’t be my goat…he was chained to a railroad tie.”

~~~

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.

It’s not.

Dr. Seuss

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Youare appreciated

Ray’s Daily

July 29, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

For all you do, for who you are, I will be forever grateful you are in my life.”

Ray’s Daily first published on July 29, 2004

 A few days ago I went to the hospital to start my weekly Iron IV’s. It has been probably a year ago or more since I was last in the oncology outpatient department getting the same treatments. There was a male nurse on duty that I knew from earlier treatments and it allowed us to quickly get at the business of the day as well as share some hospital gossip. As I was sitting in the chair with my IV hooked-up the gal who cleans the area each morning came by, she greeted me like an old friend and spent a minute or two asking how I was as we exchanged a little bit of family news. It got me thinking about how much people from all walks of life have made my life a little better. In fact I have often found that the high profile, big achievers I have met are not all that warm or even interesting. Some of the best moments of my life have been spent just learning more about an interesting stranger or new friend. I guess that is why I like the following story so much.

~~~

During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely, this was some kind of joke.

I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.

Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say ‘hello’.” “I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Author Unknown

~~~

Treat everyone as if they are the most important person in the world,

because to themselves they are.

Earl Nightingale

~~~

This still boggles my mind.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg

THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

~~~

I prefer to describe my profession as that of a “Contemporary Anthropological Interactive Observer” because it has just the right amount of flair. . . . Besides, “stalker” is such an ugly word.

~~~

A man was in a terrible auto accident, and his “manhood” was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $14,000.

The man was not sure what to do our the size to choose, the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.

“Well, what have the two of you decided?” asked the doctor. 

The man answered, “She’d rather remodel the kitchen.”

~~~

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

~~~

A missionary heard about a native who had five wives.

“You are violating a law of God,” he said, “so you must go and tell four of those women you can no longer live here or consider you their husband.”

The native thought a few moments, then said, “Me wait here.  You tell ’em.”

~~~

The person who agrees with everything you say either isn’t paying attention or plans to sell you something.

~~~

A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card.

The clerk replied, “We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?”

The man said, “You don’t understand. I need a card that covers *both* events! You see, we’re celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife’s thirty-fourth birthday…”

~~~

To find a fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.

Plutarch

~~~

Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Abraham would go out the back of his shop and eat his black bread and herring while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant’s kitchen. But one day, Abraham was surprised to receive an invoice from the restaurant for ‘enjoyment of food’.

So he went to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought anything from them.

The manager said, “You’re enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it.”

Abraham refused to pay and the restaurant sued him.

At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the case.

The manager said, “Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be compensated for it.”

The judge turns to Abraham and said, “What do you have to say to that?”

Abraham didn’t say anything but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside.

The judge asked him, “What is the meaning of that?”

Abraham replied, “I’m paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money.”

~~~

Morty and Sarah had just returned home from a party. Sarah said, “Do you realize what you did tonight, Morty?”

“No I don’t,” Morty replied, “But I’ll admit I was wrong. What did I do?”

~~~

“What’s the usual tip?” a man growled when a college boy delivered his pizza.

“Well,” the student replied, “this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I’d be doing great.”

“That so?” grunted the man. “In that case, here’s five dollars.”

“Thanks,” the student said, “I’ll put it in my college fund.”

“By the way, what are you studying?”

“Applied psychology.”

~~~

The worst thing about censorship is *******

~~~

“Starbucks announced this week that from now on new Starbucks employees will be required to go through 32 hours of training.

The first hour Starbucks employees learn how to make a cup of coffee, then the next 31 hours they learn how to charge $4 with a straight face.”

Conan O’Brien

~~~

A little girl became restless as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, “Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?”

~~~

In a department store, a difficult customer and a patient clerk were having a hard time getting together. Nothing the clerk provided was suitable.

Finally, the finicky shopper said in annoyance, “Can’t you find a smarter clerk to serve me?”

“No,” said the saleswoman. “The smarter clerk saw you coming and disappeared.”

~~~

People who matter are most aware that everyone else does, too.

Malcolm Forbes

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Farewell

Ray’s Daily

July 28, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

A.A. Milne

For the last few years I have really appreciated the friendship of fellow residents Marci and Gill and members of their family. This special couple are warm and friendly folks who participated in a wide range of activities. They have a wonderful sense of humor and always do what they can for others. Unfortunately Gill now needs special care that is not available in our Senior Residence so thay have had to move to a facility that offers advanced care. I miss them but will always treasure our years of friendship.

My other bad bews is the eminent departure of our activites staff. Marla and Amanda. These two ladies have facilitated a wide range of activities for our residents including exercise programs, learning experiences, trips and much more. While I have benefited from the various offerings, It has been their friendship that I have valued the most. They both are making positive career moves and I wish them well, but I will miss them both. So good by old friends you leave behind fond memories.

You Will Be Missed

Stephannie Beaudette

Saying goodbye

Was the hardest thing to do.

I never thought I would,

Especially not to you.

You always listened

And knew what to say,

Knew when to give a hug

When I was having a bad day.

No one will ever take your place.

I can always promise you this.

It’s hard to find someone like you,

So know you’ll always be missed.

~~~

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

Semisonic

~~~

Concluding his exam, the doctor said to his patient, “Mr. Franklin, I find very little wrong with you. You are in surprisingly good health despite being quite overweight. My advice to you is this: If you want to stay healthy, give up those intimate little dinners for two unless you have someone to share them with.”

~~~

The police recently busted a man selling tablets he said gave eternal youth.

When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928.

~~~

There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.

French Proverb

~~~

A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car.

“If we decided to live there permanently, away from civilization, what would you miss the most?” he asked his wife.

She replied, “You.”

~~~

“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.”

Paul Fix

~~~

You know yours is a Red Neck Church if:

Upon learning that Jesus fed the 5000, the men want to know whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

The pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering.” Then five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”

The choir is known as the “OK Chorale.”

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

Baptism is referred to as “Branding.”

There is a special bake sale to raise funds for a new church septic tank.

High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized wash tub.

The choir robes were donated by Billy Bob’s Bar-B-Q, and are embroidered with his logo.

The collection plates are really hubcaps from a ’56 Chevy.

~~~

“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.”

Totie Fields

~~~

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death’s door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, and after the third day the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him.

After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and we had been lucky to get him in time. “But doctor, you don’t understand,” they said, “Dad hasn’t walked in over a year!”

~~~

I have a cousin who’s always being consulted by doctors. He’s a caddie.

~~~

 An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist desk he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. 

In  a very  loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE;  YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE,   RIGHT?”     

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, “NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”

~~~

“At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.”

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Self Management

Ray’s Daily

July 27. 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

Les Brown

We can have a happier life if we learn to manage ourselves. Time will slip away if we wait to do things that will make our days more fruitful. It can become too easy to avoid doing what we can do to make our days more meaningful.

Here are some thoughts I extracted from the Tony Robbins Blog that are reminders on what we can do to have some great days.

FIVE LIFE MANAGEMENT SKILLS

1. FIND PURPOSE – What do you want from your life? What is your ultimate outcome? The answer isn’t buying a nice car or fancy house. Your true goal is something deeper and the life management skills you cultivate need to reflect that. What objective, when you think about it, brings you a sense of joy, fun and freedom?

2. RELY ON CHUNKING – You’re not failing at reaching your goals because you’re incapable of success — you’re failing because you’re trying to focus on too many things at once. Changing the way you think about your goals is one of the life management skills that will help you focus. Don’t think about the things that you need to do to achieve your goal — think about and visualize the outcome.

3. UTILIZE N.E.T. TIME – One of the important steps to achieving any goal is to continue learning at every opportunity. However, it can be difficult to access the books, podcasts and videos that will further your knowledge when you feel like there’s no time left in the day. Feeding your mind during downtime is a life management skill that will take your expertise to a new level.

This is where life management skills like utilizing N.E.T. time come in. N.E.T. stands for “No Extra Time” and it’s based on the concept that you always have time during your day that you can fill with learning.

4. SPEND TIME ON RELATIONSHIPS – Life management skills are not all about achieving peak physical health and getting ahead at work. You should also make sure to take time every day to cultivate relationships with those you loveDon’t view the time you take to relax and connect as wasted time. Instead, see it as an important life management component that adds to your overall well-being.

5. LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE BETTER – How often do you lose valuable time because of a miscommunication? Learn the communication styles of those you frequently interact with and understand that life management becomes easier when you slow down and take the time to truly listen.

~~~

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

You folks with toddlers should relate to this one! Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don’t get enough to eat (the starvation diet), or you don’t get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet).  

Well, now there’s the new Toddler Miracle Diet! Over the years you may have noticed, as I have, that most two-year-olds are trim. It came to me one day over a glass of water and a carrot that perhaps their diet is the reason. After consultation with pediatricians, X-ray technicians, and distraught Moms, I was able to formulate this new diet.  

Good luck!  

DAY ONE  

Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.  

Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).  

Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi.  

Bedtime snack: Toast a piece of bread and toss it on the kitchen floor.  

DAY TWO  

Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.  

Lunch: Half a tube of “Pulsating Pink” lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.  

Afternoon Snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on the rug.  

Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon.  

DAY THREE  

Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterday’s sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, and put it on the cushion of your best chair.  

Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.  

Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch.  

FINAL DAY  

Breakfast: A quarter-tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of Cornflakes, add a half cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.  

Lunch: Eat crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.

Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.  

~~~

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

Milton Berle

~~~

Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses.

“You know, honey,” I said sweetly, “Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married.”

“Honey,” he replied with a grin. “Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!”

~~~

She asked: I wonder if other women feel the same way as I do? An argument with my husband tends to make me want to clean something… With his toothbrush!

~~~

Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?  

A. No. Only those you need.  

Q. I just joined a new HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?  

A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors who were participating in the plan at the time the information was gathered. These doctors basically fall into two categories–those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer part of the plan. But don’t worry–the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half day’s drive away!  

Q. Well, can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?  

A. Certainly, as long as they don’t require any treatment.  

Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?  

A. You’ll need to find alternative forms of payment.  

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?  

A. Poke yourself in the eye.  

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?  

A. Hard to say, but considering that all you’re risking is the $10 co-payment, there’s no harm giving him a shot at it.  

Q. Will health care be any different in the next century?  

A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.  

~~~

They are called, “SELF-worth” and “SELF-esteem” for a reason… we can’t let others decide what we are worth, that is so dangerous! Empower yourself!

Jaeda DeWalt

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Be the best you

Ray’s Daily

July 26, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Make the most of yourself–for that is all there is of you.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was recently participating in a forum on aging. It again stressed the importance of staying engaged with others as we grow older. In other words the more friends we have the better our lives will be.

We all expressed concern for those who are so withdrawn that they have sunk into a lonely existance. The more I have thought about it the more I realized that to make and sustain friendships we need to be as good as we can be. Here are some tips that can enhance our likability.

10 Tips For Being The Best You Can Be

By Anne Naylor

1. Know what you want – Maybe you have a talent you have longed to express and develop. If not, you probably know how you would like to be experiencing your life – perhaps with more happiness, better communications with the ones you love, greater fulfilment in your work.

Knowing is deeper and stronger than wishful thinking or hoping. It is a conviction so solid that you can base your life on it.

2. Engage with your intention – Daily nurture your vision – see, feel, hear how you will be experiencing the fulfilment of your the life you want, both inwardly and in the world. Use your imagination.

3. Practice your passion – take action – If you have a talent, keep working with it. If you would like to be happier, do things that make you happy. Better communications? Be willing to learn, practise, improve – and make mistakes from time to time. Your intention will speak volumes. Fulfillment? Adjust your attitude.

4. Raise your energy – turn up the heat – Love yourself and be grateful for all you have in your life, right now. Pay attention to your blessings. Look up. Learn to forgive and laugh at the mistakes you make along the way. Each day, feel the enthusiasm for your vision, as if it has already happened. Stay open for the remarkable to take place. It will.

5. Gather positive people around you – At the very least, spend time with people who are supportive and for you. Enrich yourself by getting to know others who are actively creating the best for themselves, and learn from them.

6. Get rid of what is unnecessary – Clear the clutter! Live lean with only that which you need around you. The feeling of freedom you gain will liberate you closer to what you really want.

7. Organize yourself for success – Find ways of dealing with life’s necessities so that you are not distracted by them. Only agree to do what you will actually do. Learn to say no to what does not fit for you.

8. Set no time limits – Learn to live in the present moment and respond to your intuitive guidance. There are times when to act; times when to hold. You will get to know which is which.

9. Believe in yourself – believe in your vision – Feeling doubtful? In these challenging times, young children may teach us something. As adults, we can also be persistent in going for what we value.

10. Treasure yourself – Do the things that show you care for yourself: eat foods that serve your body; drink plenty of water; get enough sleep; exercise regularly; make time and space for fun; stay focussed on your vision and intention. Taking care of your health is a wise investment of your time and attention.

~~~

“Change equals self-improvement. Push yourself to places you haven’t been before.”

Pat Summitt

~~~

The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari’s decision to take advantage of the British governments ‘Work for the Dole’ scheme and employ unemployable youth.

The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed Liverpool youths were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari’s existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech gear.

This was thought to be an excellent, yet bold move, by Ferrari Management. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for at the crew’s first practice session, not only were the new Pit Crew able to change the tires in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, retagged and sold the vehicle over to the MacLaren Team for four bottles of Stella and an old Nike shell-suit.

~~~

Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength.

Eric Hoffer

~~~

Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, “Pardon me, ma’am, but may I sit here with you.”

The silver-haired Marcia looked up to see a distinguished looking white-haired gentleman and replied, “Why certainly,” and scooted over gently to give him room to sit down.

For the next two hours the two sat and talked about everything. They discovered that they came from the same part of the country, liked the same big band music, voted for the same presidential candidates, had had long happy marriages and lost their spouses in the last year, and in general agreed about almost everything.

Finally, the old gentleman cleared his throat and asked sheepishly, “Ma’am, may I ask you two questions?”

With great anticipation Marcia replied, “Why certainly!”

The old gentleman removed a handkerchief from his coat pocket and spread it out on the ground before her. He very gingerly got down on one knee and looked her softly in the eyes. “Marcia, I know we’ve only known each other for a couple of hours, but we have so much in common. I feel I have known you all my life. Will you marry me and be my wife?”

Marcia grabbed at Jimmie’s hands and said, “Why, yes, I will marry you!

You have made me so very happy!” She reached over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Then Marcia said, “You said you had two questions to ask me. What is the second question?”

Jimmie scratched his neck and said, “Will you help me get up?”

~~~

Our lives begin to end the day we start becoming silent about things that matter.

~~~

A priest was given the job of hearing the confessions of an order of monks. The priest returned to his parish that night and complained to one of the nuns about how long each of the monks took to enumerate all of their sins.

“Oh Father,” said the nun. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

The priest replied, “Oh it was worse than you can imagine. It was like being stoned to death with popcorn.”

~~~

Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.

~~~

The doctor explains to Abe that he would be able to resume his sex life as soon as he could climb two flights of stairs without becoming winded. 

Abe listens attentively and then says, “What if I look for the women who live on the ground floor?”

~~~

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

No?

Ray’s Daily

July 23, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”

Tony Blair

Ray’s Daily first published on July 24, 2006

I am really fortunate; I have so many interesting things in my life. There is travel, learning experiences, writing to you all, service projects, meetings, the list gets pretty large sometimes and I get overloaded. I bet a lot of you do too. My problem is that I am not all that good at managing it all. For example this last week I was given four new opportunities to do something worthwhile, things I really would like to do, my problem is I don’t know if I can fit them all in, and if not what to give up.

I sometimes have a hard time saying no when someone asks me to do something, but for me it is even harder to know what to say no to. I use to try to decide by figuring out where I might be able to do the most good, but too often I found that what I agreed to do really was not my thing, so at least now I try to select things I will enjoy. Anyway that’s my problem not yours. But just in case, here are some ways to say no:

  • I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF SEVERAL PROJECTS, let people know when you have accepted other responsibilities, no need to make excuses if you don’t have any free time, no one will fault you for having already filled your plate.
  • I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT, you might be uncomfortable with any of a number of issues, the people involved, the type of work, the morale implications, etc. this is a very respectful way to avoid a sticky situation.
  • I AM NOT TAKING ON ANY NEW RESPONSIBILITIES, you aren’t saying that you will never help out again, just that you feel your schedule is as full as you would like now, understanding your limits is a talent to be expected.
  • I AM NOT THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON FOR THE JOB, if you don’t feel that you have adequate skills, that’s okay, it’s better to admit your limitations up front is the best way to avoid feeling overwhelmed down the road.
  • I DO NOT ENJOY THAT KIND OF WORK, life isn’t about drudgery — if you don’t enjoy it, why do it? Don’t be afraid to let someone know you just don’t want too, someone else is bound to enjoy the work you don’t.
  • I HAVE ANOTHER COMMITMENT, it doesn’t matter what the commitment is, it can even simply be time to yourself or with friends or family you don’t have to justify — you simply aren’t available.
  • I NEED TO LEAVE SOME FREE TIME FOR MYSELF, it’s okay to be selfish — in a good way! Treat your personal time like any other appointment block off time in your calendar and guard it with your life.
  • I WOULD RATHER DECLINE THAN DO A MEDIOCRE JOB, know when you aren’t going to be able to deliver a quality product the reason doesn’t matter — not enough time, wrong skills, etc. whatever the reason is enough for turning a request down.

Of course these don’t help me with what to say no to, and I really don’t like it when I find that a flip of the coin does a better job than I do. But the nice thing about the coin flip is you don’t have to spend too much time analyzing. So here goes, heads…no…no…I mean tails….ok two out of three then………

~~~

“Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.”

 W. Clement Stone

~~~

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, “Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey”.

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, I found one.”

~~~

Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone!

~~~

How to Lie to the Bathroom Scales

1. Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner…as well as in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it’s nice to see how much weight you’ve lost overnight.  

2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.  

3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset. Don’t forget the earrings, these things can weigh at least a pound.  

4. Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are always five pounds off…to your advantage, of course.  

5. Always go to the bathroom first.  

6. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter. (Waving them is optional but occasionally helps!)  

7. Don’t eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you’ve weighed in, completely naked, of course.  

8. Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a pound of hair (hopefully).  

9. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has to weigh something, right?)  

10. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it’s worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you’d stepped on normally.  

~~~

The best auto safety device is a rearview mirror with a police car in it.

~~~

There was a small town nestled in a valley which was powered by a dam. One day, the dam broke and flooded the valley. Naturally everyone headed for higher ground. Once everyone reached higher ground, they began scanning the area for people or animals who needed help.  

After a few hours of looking it seemed that every one was safe, except that there was this little straw hat that would bob down stream about a 50 yards and then bob back up stream 50 yards. It would then move to the side and bob down stream and then back up stream… It kept repeating this.  

Nobody could figure out why it was doing this. After awhile of pondering this, a young boy recalled his Granddad saying that come hell or high water he was going to get the lawn mowed.  

~~~

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.

Elbert Hubbard

~~~

A minister in a little church had been having trouble with the collections.

One Sunday he announced, “Now, before we pass the collection plate, I would like to request that the person who stole the chickens from Brother Martin’s hen house please refrain from giving any money to the Lord. The Lord doesn’t want money from a thief!”

The collection plate was passed around, and for the first time in months everybody gave.

~~~

There’s one thing about baldness…..it’s neat.

~~~

From British Newspapers

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, “We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It’s possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.” (The Daily Telegraph)  

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It’s a Special Branch vehicle and they don’t want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)  

At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed the coastguard and asked them to estimate the wind speed. They replied they were sorry, but they didn’t have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)  

~~~

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see.

John Burroughs

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

They Care

Ray’s Daily

July 22, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

My mission in life is to be kind, compassionate, caring, and loving in order to find and feel the deepest joy of life.

Debasish Mridha

As you know I now live in a Seniors Independent Living community. Most of our residents are outgoing and very friendly, while others isolate themselves and seldom leave their residents. Those that seldom interact with others miss the benefits that comes from socializing with others.

I find that many of my fellow residents offer their friendship and often help as we age together. Few of us have family living with us and so our friends become our extended family who provide us support and even help when we need it. The following story reminded me of these good folks.

I know you by heart

I recently heard someone say, ‘What you do for others you do also for yourself.’

I was confused at first, because it almost made me feel selfish. I mean, I love doing things for other people, but my wife told my recently that I always put others first. She was saying that was one of my faults. I needed a little more ‘me’ in my efforts to change the world.

I visit people in nursing homes, retirement and senior centres. I love to spend time with older folks. It’s like mining for gold. They have been down the road ahead of me and I want to know what they have learned so that I make the right choices.

A speaker at a conference I attended many years ago asked, ‘Where do you think the most valued real estate is in the world.’ Hands went up and offered big city names, resorts in development and exotic locations around the world.

‘Nice try,’ he said. ‘The most valuable real estate are the cemeteries. Buried there are dreams that might have changed the world, perhaps cures for major diseases that were never developed and people who could have made a difference in your life but never took the chance. What happened? No one listened.’

I listen, I encourage, but I don’t realize the value of what I do or understand the impact. It was during a recent visit to a new facility that I realized that my efforts made a difference in the lives of those I met.

‘How are you today?’ I heard someone ask. I turned around and scanned the room to see who was speaking.

‘I heard the voice of an angel!’ I said smiling. ‘Where are you?’ Then I heard a faint laugh in the corner.

‘Oh, there you are. I am so lucky to find you today,’ I said. She was seated on an old Victorian looking couch. It reminded me of the furniture in my mother’s living room. We could only sit on it when company came. So, I jumped at the opportunity to sit next to this wonderful woman. Her hair was white and neatly brushed with an occasional wave gently reflecting the light from the nearby window. Her hands crossed on her lap resting on top of a knitted pink blanket that covered her legs. Two practical looking walking shoes peeked out at the bottom and a wooden cane was placed within her reach nearby.

‘It’s good to see you,’ she said. ‘I love when you come to visit.’ I was a bit surprised to hear her say that. I had never been here before. Maybe she was transferred her from another place and she remembered me. ‘It’s good to see you, too,’ I said.

‘You always brighten my day,’ she added. I sat quietly for a moment trying desperately to remember if we had met before. I really love to remember names. It makes people feel good when you remember.Then I asked, ‘When was the last time I saw you?’

She turned her head away for a moment and then looking back at me, she said, ‘Oh, we’ve never met, you and I. But I know you by heart.’

How curious. We never met, but she knows me by heart.It must have been the look on my face that caused her to explain further. ‘There is something about people like you. You are the ones who carry the world on your back. When you walk in a room you make us smile. When you touch my hand I can feel the warmth in your heart. People like you bring flowers, music and sunshine. Even when you bring nothing at all, you leave so much behind’

I was humbled and at a loss for words. ‘My, I thank you for saying that,’ I said. ‘When you said, I know you by heart, I naturally felt like I must have met you before.’

‘I know you by heart, because I always did the same thing. I always put others first,’ she said. There it was again. ‘Putting others first.’

Then I shared, ‘I heard someone say – what you do for others you do also for yourself.’ ‘I am living proof of that,’ she said. ‘You see, after all that time, after all that caring it all came back to me. People like you now visit me and I know you by heart.’

Written by Bob Perks

~~~

Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

Theodore Roosevelt

~~~

Because I took a moment to speak

And you took a second to smile

A tiny part of me will leave with you

And a little bit of you will stay.”

Jevan

~~~

Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives.

Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes.

Then Bill said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word.”

“Wow!” said Doug, “How do you manage that?”

“It’s easy,” replied Bill. “My last words are always ‘Yes, Dear.'”

~~~

“The Five Stages of Life”

To Grow Up

To Fill Out

To Slim Down

To Hold It In

To Hell With It

~~~

City Boy: Say, Dad, how many kinds of milk are there?

Father: Well, there’s evaporated milk, buttermilk, malted milk, and — but why do you wish to know?

City Boy: Oh, I’m drawing a picture of a cow, and I want to know how many *spigots* to put on her.

~~~

“No birth is an accident, no experience is without meaning, and no life is without value.”

Gary Zukav

~~~

A priest was given the job of hearing the confessions of an order of monks. The priest returned to his parish that night and complained to one of the nuns about how long each of the monks took to enumerate all of their sins.

“Oh Father,” said the nun. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

The priest replied, “Oh it was worse than you can imagine. It was like being stoned to death with popcorn.”

~~~

Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.

~~~

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher’s desk and said, “Miss Francis, I ain’t got no crayons.”

“Willie,” Miss Francis said, “you mean, “I don’t have any crayons.’ You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons. They don’t have any crayons. Do you see what I’m getting at?”

“Not really,” Willie said, “What happened to all them crayons?”

~~~

“I think Little League (baseball)  is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”

Yogi Berra

~~~

A minister decided to try something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said, “Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross!”

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison “The Old Rugged Cross.”

The pastor hollered out, “Grace!” The congregation began to sing “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.”

The pastor said, “Power!” The congregation sang “There is Power in the Blood.”

The Pastor said, “Sex!”

The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, from the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing “Precious Memories.”

~~~

Life has taught me that respect, caring and love must be shared, for it’s only through sharing that friendships are born.

Donna A. Favors

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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