Ray's musings and humor

She Inspires

Ray’s Daily

November 29, 2018

Kindness is just love with its workboots on.

Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith

Kondness

There is a special lady who works in the food department here in the Independent Living facility where I now reside. She is appreciated and even loved by almost all of mt fellow residents. I have been told she does not need the job, she just loves to help folks.

What impresses me the most is her unbound kindness. No matter what needs to be done, she does it with a smile. She treats everyone as if they are the most important person in the world. This wonderful lady is the epitome of kindness.

I strive to do as well as she does for there is a special warmth that comes from helping another. Here are excerpts from Wicki How that can benefit us all.

Developing a Kinder Perspective

Care for others genuinely. At its most basic, kindness is about caring genuinely for others around you, wanting the best for them, and recognizing in them the same wants, needs, aspirations, and even fears that you have too. Kindness is warm, resilient, patient, trusting, loyal, and grateful.

Don’t be kind for the sake of getting what you want. Kindness is not about “self-interested politeness, calculated generosity, superficial etiquette”. Being a people pleaser is not kindness; that’s simply behavior designed to give in and not rock the boat because you’re afraid that taking a step forward will sink the ship.

Learn kindness from others. Think about the truly kind people in your life and how they make you feel. Do you carry their warm glow around in your heart every time you think of them? It is likely that you do because kindness lingers, warming you even when the hardest challenges face you. When other people find a way to love you for who you are, it’s impossible to forget such trust and confirmation of worthiness, and their kindness lives on forever.

Cultivate kindness for the good of your own health. Improved psychological health and happiness comes from thinking more positively, and kindness is a positive mental state.

Make a habit of focusing on kindness. Be kind, friendly, and compassionate when you interact with someone, and even more so where that person normally makes you angry, stressed, or bothered. Use kindness as your strength.

Be kind to everyone, not just people “in need“. Natural kindness encompasses all beings and while the challenges you’ll face when trying to put this broader notion of kindness into practice will sometimes be trying, you’ll never stop learning about the depths of your ability to be truly kind.

Minimize judgment. If you really want to be kind, then you have to kick your judgment to the curb. Instead of spending your time being critical of other people, work on being positive and compassionate. Focus on wanting to help others instead of judging them for not being better than they are.

~~~

It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.

~~~

We Must Stop This immediately! Have you ever noticed that when you’re of a certain age, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection……..Well, REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You’re risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon “everyone” will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN

GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

~~~

“A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.”

William Arthur Ward

~~~

A little boy runs up to his mother and shouts, “Mommy! Mommy! I want to be a drummer when I grow up!”

The mother sweetly replies, “You can’t do BOTH, dear.”

~~~

“Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!”

Oscar Wilde

~~~

In bygone days, a thin man insulted a rather heavyset man. The heavyset man challenged his tormentor to a duel with pistols.

On the day of the duel, a debate ensued about the unfair advantage held by the thin man because he was a much smaller target. Finally the thin man came up with a solution…

“Let the outline of my figure be chalked upon your body,” he said to his opponent, “and any shots of mine that hit outside the chalk lines won’t count.”

~~~

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”

Herm Albright

~~~

Flying to San Francisco from San Diego the other day, a passenger noticed that the “Fasten Seat Belts” sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.

Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.

“Well,” she explained, up front there are 17 University of San Diego girls going to San Francisco for the weekend.

In back, there are 25 Navy recruits out on weekend liberty.

“What would you do?”

~~~

What this world needs is a new kind of army — the army of the kind.

Cleveland Amory

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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It is up to you

Ray’s Daily

November 19, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

Omar Khayyam

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Some of the people I meet these days seem to be so worn out that they have given up on life. The good news is that most people I run into are grateful that they have lived so long and look forward to the years ahead. Everyday I see that the good life comes from having a positive attitude.

Years ago Henrik Edberg wrote an article on happiness that I like. I have had to edit for space but here are the highlights.

 

How to Find Happiness: 7 Timeless Tips from the Last 2500 Years

1. You choose.

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

How your view yourself and your world are conscious choices and habits. The lens you choose to view everything through determines how you will interpret what is happening. And from your interpretation you act. And all of this becomes your life.

  1. Focus on the present, not yesterday or tomorrow.

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.

James Oppenheim

You only have now. And now. And now. Yesterday is a memory and you cannot change it. Tomorrow is just a fantasy in your mind right now. So live more in the now, focus on the present moment and today.

  1. Don’t forget to be grateful.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

Frederick Keonig

One of the simplest and quickest ways to turn a negative and sour mood into a more positive one is to be grateful.

  1. Help someone else find happiness.

Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.

Bernard Meltzer

This is certainly one of the most popular ideas I’ve found about happiness. When you make someone else happy by, for example, helping them with something – you can sense, see, feel and hear it. And that happy feeling flows back to you.

  1. Get rid of a couple of your less valuable desires.

You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.

Eric Hoffer

If you want less instead of more, more, more then your desires are more likely to be fulfilled. And if you throw away a few of those desires that you may not really want or need that much anyway you’ll probably start to feel less stressed and worried.

  1. Do what you like to do.

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

Albert Schweitzer

  1. Or at least do something.

So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain

One of the best ways to not find happiness is just to hold yourself back and do nothing. Seldom show up. Paralyze yourself through over analysis. It’s not always easy to take action, it can be scary and hard and difficult. But if you don’t take action you’ll be missing out on a lot. Including many moments, people and experiences that can bring you a lot of happiness.

~~~

Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

I always know God won’t give me more than I can handle but there are times I wish He didn’t trust me quite so much.

~~~

Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th’ bag?”

“Jes’ some chickens.”

“If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?”

“Shoot, if ya guesses right, I’ll give you both of ’em!” “OK.

Ummmmm…five?”

~~~

Where was the toothbrush invented? Arkansas.

If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

~~~

Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model INSIDE her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. It worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method.

The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds!

~~~

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

~~~

The showers in my daughter’s dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, “Flushing!” each time they flushed the toilets. During one of my daughter’s visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while.  I was explaining how my daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn’t tell me all about her life the way she used to. Suddenly we heard my daughter call out from the bathroom, “Flushing!”

“Wow!” said my friend, “How much more do you want to know?”

~~~

“Mr. and Mrs. Marvin Rosenbloom are pleased to announce the birth of their son, Dr. Jonathan Rosenbloom.”

~~~

A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?”

“Objection!” said the defense attorney. “Irrelevant!”

“Oh, that’s okay,” said the blonde from the witness stand.”I don’t mind answering the question.”

“I object!” the defense said again.

“No, really,” said the blonde. “I’ll answer.”

The judge ruled: “If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defence to object.”

So the prosecutor repeated the question: “Where were you the night of August 24th?”

The blonde replied brightly, “I don’t know.”

~~~

Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years.

Ausonius

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I am grateful

Ray’s Daily

November 16, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

Lots of things that couldn’t be done have been done.

Charles Auston Bates

At Mekong River Thailand2

 Mekong River Thailand

I probably told you before that we moved to Indianapolis in 1969 on what was ro be a short term assignment with my computer company employer. By the time we were asked to accept a new assignment we were so involved in the activities in our new home town we refused to leave.

As the years went by I became more involved in our cities activities as it transitioned itself in to the world class city it is today. My civic activities in a wide range of areas resulted in my appointment to numerous government and not-for-profit boards and committees as well as being selected to participate in a number of local and national programs.

My office walls were filled wirh pictures with dignitaries, plaques and awards. I always wondered why I displayed all of it, but it did help visitors define who I had become. I was glad for the opportunities I was given but they paled when measured against my second career working with Kiwanis International and UNICEF as the director of Kiwanis’ first worldwide service project which has helped millions of children around the world.

I was truly fortunate to be given the opportunity to do something significant. I traveled to Asia, Eastern and Western Europe in support of our effort and made many new friends, I will always be grateful for being selected by Kiwanis.

The Road to Significance and Success

The most traditional way to measure the quality of one’s life is to evaluate success by listing accolades, achievements, and acquisitions. After all, in its simplest terms, success is getting what we want and most people want wealth and status.

Yet, as much pleasure as these attributes can bring, the rich, powerful, and famous usually discover that true happiness will elude them if they do not have peace of mind, self-respect and enduring loving relationships.

Peace of mind doesn’t preclude ambition or desire for material possessions or high position, but it assumes a fundamental foundation of contentment, gratitude and pride – a belief that whatever one has is enough and an attitude of active appreciation for the good things in one’s life.

Feeling successful can generate satisfying emotions of self-worth, but feeling significant – that one’s life really matters – is much more potent. Peter Drucker, the great management guru, captured this idea when he wrote of the urge many high achievers have to  . . . ‘move beyond success to significance.’

The surprise for many is that one of the surest roads to significance is service. It doesn’t have to be of the Mother Teresa missionary variety. Parents who sacrifice their own comfort and pleasure for their children are performing service, as are teachers, public-safety professionals, members of the military, and volunteers who work for the common good.

In addressing graduates, Albert Schweitzer said . . . ‘I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.’

Written by Michael Josephson

~~~

Knowing is not enough; we must apply.  Willing is not enough; we must do.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

Lefkowitz was a very pious old man, who had lived his life according to the Commandments, never asking anything, always giving to others. Finally, wanting to have something for himself, and to experience the other side of life, he began to pray to God.

“Lord”, he said, “All my life I have tried to be good, to follow all your Laws and Commandments, and to always help others, never asking anything for myself when I have prayed to you.  Now that I am old, I am finally asking for something for myself. All that I want is to win the Lottery, so I can have a comfortable old age.”

For year after year, he repeated this prayer, and nothing would happen.  Finally, in despair, he again prayed to God, saying  “Why have you abandoned me?  Is this all I am to have in life?  All I have ever asked you for is to just once to win the Lottery. What have I done wrong that you punish me this way?”

And an aggravated voice boomed down from the heavens, saying, in exasperation,   “Lefkowitz, BUY A TICKET ALREADY!!!”

~~~
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
~~~

Signs That You Live In 2018

  1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
    2. You call your son’s cell phone to let him know it’s time to eat, he emails you back from his bedroom.
    3. Your daughter sells Girl Scout cookies via her web site.
    4. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven’t spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
    5. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
    6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
    7. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20-50 years of your life, is cause for panic and turning around to go get it.

~~~

Why do they put Braille on drive through bank machines?
~~~

An old Jewish man and a young Jewish man are traveling on the train. The young man asks: “Excuse me, what time is it?” The old man does not answer.

“Excuse me, sir, what time is it?”
The old man keeps silent.
“Sir, I’m asking you what time is it. Why don’t you answer?!”
The old man says: “Son, the next stop is the last on this route. I don’t know you, so you must be a stranger. If I answer you now, I’ll have to invite you to my home. You’re handsome, and I have a beautiful daughter. You will both fall in love and you will want to get married. So tell me, why would I need a son-in-law who can’t even afford a watch?”

~~~

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

~~~

Two old men were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.
One leaned over the other and said, “Cripes, life is boring! We never have any fun these days!” For a fiver, I’d take my clothes off and streak through the flower show!”

“You’re on!” said the other old boy, holding up a five dollar note.
As fast as he could, the first old man fumbled his way out of his clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of the town hall.

Waiting outside, his friend heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked old man burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.

“How did it go?” asked his friend.
“Great!” said the streaker, “I won first prize as a dried arrangement!!!”

~~~

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

There is still time

Ray’s Daily

November 15, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

It’s never too late to be what you might have been.

George Elliot

Good Life

It has been rewarding for me to spend so much time with folks who have led interesting lives as my new neighbors have. They are business people, educators, doctors and pretty much represent a wide range of occupations.

They, like so many of us reflect back on their lives, not necessarily with regret but rather with the knowledge they now have that the past pressures they put on themselves was just not worth the effort. The story I want to share with you today may well have been written by one of my wise new friends.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

“If I had my life to live over again, I’d try to make more mistakes next time. I wouldn’t try to be so perfect. I would relax more. I’d limber up. I’d be sillier than I’ve been on this trip. In fact, I know very few things that I would take so seriously, I’d be crazier. I’d be less hygienic. I’d take more chances, I’d take more trips, I’d climb more mountains, I’d swim more rivers, I’d watch more sunsets, I’d go more places I’ve never been to. I’d eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I’d have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.

You see I was one of those people who lived prophylactically and sensibly and sanely hour after hour and day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had it to do all over again, I’d have more of those moments. In fact, I’d try to have nothing but beautiful moments- moment by moment by moment.

I’ve been one of those people who never went anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it all over again, I’d travel lighter next time. If I had to do it all over again, I’d start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I’d ride more merry-go-rounds, I’d watch more sunrises, and I’d play with more children, if I had my life to live over again. But you see, I don’t.”

~~~

Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up is for you and you alone to decide.

Cavett Robert

~~~

A little girl was observed by her pastor standing outside the pre-school Sunday School classroom between Sunday School and worship, waiting for her parents to come and pick her up for “big church.”

The pastor noticed that she clutched a big storybook under her arms with the obvious title, “Jonah and the Whale.” Feeling a little pernicious, he knelt down beside the little girl and began a conversation. “What’s that you have in your hand?” he asked.

“This is my storybook about Jonah and the Whale,” she answered.

“Tell me something, little girl,” he continued, “do you believe that story about Jonah and that whale to be the truth?”

The little girl implored, “Why of course I believe this story to be the truth!”

He inquired further, “You really believe that a man can be swallowed up by a big whale, stay inside him all that time, and come out of there still alive and OK? You really believe all that can be true?”

She declared, “Absolutely, this story is in the Bible and we studied about it in Sunday School today!”

Then the pastor asked, “Well, little girl, can you prove to me that this story is the truth?”

She thought for a moment and then said, “Well, when I get to Heaven, I’ll ask Jonah.”

The pastor then asked, “Well, what if Jonah’s not in Heaven?”

She then put her hands on her little hips and sternly declared, “Then YOU can ask him!”

~~~

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn’t act that way very often.

~~~

She said:

If I am trying to sleep, it’s because I am exhausted from my almost super-human level of daily achievement; if he is trying to sleep it’s because he is lazy.

No matter what the activity, he doesn’t do it as well as my past boyfriend.

If he pays attention to me, he is smothering me. If he gives me space, he is ignoring me.

I demand to be treated as an equal in everything – except when paying for meals, airplane tickets, concerts, beers, clothes, etc. – these are required gifts proving his love.

~~~

I’m so broke, I can’t even pay attention.

~~~

KNOW YOUR GETTING OLDER WHEN:

You know all the answers but nobody asks you any questions.

You get winded playing checkers.

You need a fire permit to light all of your birthday candles and you need oxygen after blowing them out.

You stop to think and forget to start again.

You don’t need an alarm clock to get up with the chickens.

A fortune-teller wants to read your face.

You finally get it all together, but can’t remember where you put it.

Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

You feel like the morning after, and you haven’t been anywhere.

You look forward to a dull evening.

You join a health club and never go.

You need your glasses to find your glasses.

You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.

Your knees buckle, but your belt won’t

You have too much room in the house, and not enough in the medicine chest.

~~~

My Top Ten Inventions

1) The water-proof towel

2) Solar powered flashlight

3) Submarine screen door

4) A book on how to read

5) Inflatable dart board

6) A dictionary index

7) Ejector seat in a helicopter

8) Powdered water

9) Pedal-powered wheel chair

10) Water-proof tea bag

~~~

Don’t pay two dollars to get a shirt cleaned. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy five cents.

William Coronel

~~~

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Harold Thurman

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Farewell Old Friend

Ray’s Daily

November 14, 2018

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Kahlil Gibran

Good Bye

Between my mandatory tasks and Physical Therapy sessions I ran out of time. So we again will see what the world looked like to me years ago.

Ray’s Daily first published on November 14, 2008

 It has not been an easy week. It is not so much that I have been busy or that 40% of my life savings seems to be hidden somewhere on Wall Street. No it is the fact that I lost an old friend and a good friends wife passed away after a long illness.

My one friend died peacefully in his sleep. While he was in his mid seventies I no longer consider that old age so when it happened I was taken aback. When I read my friends obituary today I learned that he had done many more things than I knew he had. I hadn’t seen him for sometime but he use to be a fellow member of my Kiwanis Club and I had plenty of opportunity to get to know him better but now it is too late. I am sure he had many stories he could have shared and experiences that I would have enjoyed hearing about. I know a year ago or so I wrote about how much we miss by not stopping and taking the time to know more about the people we meet, especially those that we see often. Unfortunately too often I am guilty of taking too many people for granted and gloss over my failure by rationalizing not learning more because I am too busy. That is a sad mistake for I know that some of the best things in my life is the bond that I have built with others by just stopping and caring.

My friend’s wife suffered a long illness before finally finding peace. She was a gracious lady always quick to smile whenever we met. She told me once in a while that she enjoyed our Daily and that always pleased me for it was written for her and my other friends. What saddens me most is that this kind and caring person had to carry so much pain and agony for so long. I have never been very good at sharing my feelings with those that have just lost a loved one; certainly it would be presumptuous of me to tell them I know how they feel. Still I always feel a hurt and a feeling of helplessness when I know some one is in pain or that someone is gone forever leaving only memories and far too often words I never said that were never heard.

~~~

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.

~~~

I think both of these departed friends would be disappointed in me if I did not add our usual attempt at humor so for them I offer today’s daily.

~~~

“The greatest mistake you can make is to be afraid of making one.”

Elbert Hubbard

~~~

A few housewives were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands. One lady said “My husband just won’t go to church with me, I think he’s going to go to hell.” This led to talk around the table and it was generally agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands were going to end up in hell.

So, then the housewives started speculating about themselves. One woman said “I try to be good – I’m sure I’ll make it to Heaven.” Another one said “No, I did this bad thing, I won’t make it.” So, then they noticed that one of the ladies wasn’t saying anything. And they looked at her and said “You’re such a nice lady, surely you’re going to Heaven…?”

She says “No, first thing in the morning, I’m going to buy me a ticket straight to hell!” They were shocked and asked why. “Well, you don’t expect me to live in a world without men, do you??!?”

~~~

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

~~~

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, “Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair – there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?”

“Ever go fishing?” the policeman suddenly asked the man.

“Ummm, yeah…” the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, “Ever catch *all* the fish?”

~~~

A woman was telling her friend, “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.” “And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend. The woman replied, “A billionaire.”

~~~

When a three-year-old opened a birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.

He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

His Mother was not so pleased. She turned to Grandmom and said, “I’m surprised at you.

Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”

Grandmom smiled and then replied, “I remember.”

~~~

Eschew obfuscation.

~~~

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath. “You scared us half to death — we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”

“Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”

~~~

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

~~~

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call.

Before long their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, ‘OK, lets get out and get him.’

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, ‘The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?’

The guy in the front says, ‘Well, I’m going to start nibbling grass, but you’d better brace yourself!’

~~~

A lady inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Husband wanted”. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

~~~

To help a friend lose weight, I told her she should switch to lower fat foods, including skim milk.

When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite awhile, until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay.

“Sure, it’s fine,” my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. “Why do you ask?”

The daughter explained, “Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired six months ago!”

~~~

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.

Author Unknown

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

They Will Like You

Ray’s Daily

November 13,2018

https://rays-daily.com/

Happiness held is the seed; happiness shared is the flower.

Enjoy

As you know I really like most of the people I meet. They, like all the rest of us, have good days and bad days but they don’t let the bad days take them down. They know things will get better and if they don’t they know they can cope. What I really like about these folks is they always offer a warm smile to the people they meet.

I feel sorry for people who are always unhappy and grouchy. Sadly most of the people they meet are also grouchy and many of them are people I find warm and friendly. Here is a Japanese Folk Tale that provides the reason why this happens.

The House of 1000 Mirrors

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the House, he thought to himself, “This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often.” In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, “That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again.”

All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?

As Told by Chris P. Cash

~~~

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.

Jacques Prévert

~~~

Bob: “My wife drives like lightning.”
Ted: “She drives fast?”
Bob: “No, she hits trees!”

~~~
A fool and his money are soon partying.
~~~

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!”

His wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money, I wouldn’t be here.”

~~~

The priest was preparing a man for his long day’s journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”

The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”

The dying man said, “Until I know where I’m heading, I don’t think I ought to aggravate anybody.”

~~~
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
~~~

A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration.
Dad picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered he asks, “Can I speak to Roger, please?”

“No! There’s no one called Roger here.” The person hangs up.
“That’s irritation,” says Dad.

He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Roger a second time.
“No, there’s no one here called Roger. Go away.
Don’t call again.”
“That’s aggravation,” says Dad.

“Then what’s ‘frustration’?” asks his son.
The father picks up the phone and dials a third time: “Hello, this is Roger. Have I received any phone calls?”
~~~

Few women admit their age, Few men act it!

~~~

A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, “How come after all these years we don’t see you at services anymore?”

The old man looked around and lowered his voice. “I’ll tell you, Rabbi,” he whispered. “When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So I figured that God is very busy and must’ve forgotten about me, and I don’t want to remind Him!”

~~~

“Students rarely disappoint teachers who assure them in advance that they are doomed to failure.”

Sidney Hook

~~~

A 16 year old girl bought herself a very tiny bikini. Very proud she came home and put it on. She then showed her mother how she looked in it. “What do you think mom.” , she asked.

Her mother replied: “If I wore that when I was your age , you would have been 5 years older.”

~~~

Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.

Cynthia Nelms

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

It Is Time

Ray’s Daily

November 12, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.

Michael Althsuler

time

Some of us as we age start to realize immortality is not in the cards so we need to decide how we will live the days we have left. Many of us decide to just stop and let new opportunities slip by as the days go on. Others, like me, learn that hibernating  is debilitating and there is still time to enjoy the days ahead. The days we let slip by unused can never be relived so it us important that we use them all.

Recently Marc Chernoff wrote an article entitled 5 “Notes to Self” About the Precious Little Time You Have Left” (http://www.marcandangel.com/2018/10/21/5-notes-to-self-about-the-precious-little-time-you-have-left/) that reminded me of how important it is that we don’t waste our days. Here are highlights from the piece.

Notes to Self for Making YOUR Time Count

  1. Opportunity is only ever found in the present. – Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness and peace. Don’t be one of them.  Life is too short.  Time is running out.  Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been.  The secret to happiness and peace is letting this moment be what it is, instead of what you think it should be, and then making the very best of it.

Realize this.  What you do now matters more than what happened yesterday.

  1. Your entire life can be customized from day to day. – There are hundreds of people in every town on Earth who live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing they can customize everything. Don’t be one of them.  Don’t settle for the default settings in life.

Find your loves, your talents, your passions, and embrace them.  The life you create from doing something that moves and excites you is far better than the life you get from sitting around wishing you were doing it.

  1. The willingness to do hard things makes life worth living. – Truth be told, one of the most important abilities you can develop in life is the willingness to accept and grow through life’s challenges and discomforts. Because the best things are often hard to come by, at least initially. 
  2. Daily kindness is a beautiful legacy to leave behind. – Some people will be kind to you. Some won’t.  Be kind anyway.

Through kindness you have the ability to make a profound difference in every life you touch, including your own. 

  1. Everything will change again, faster and sooner than expected. – Nothing lasts. Everything changes.  Day to day is a winding journey.

As human beings we are constantly outgrowing what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and falling in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted.  Life literally keeps leading us on journeys we would never go on if it were up to us.  Don’t be afraid.  Have faith.  Find the lessons.  Trust the journey.

~~~

As we speak cruel time is fleeing. Seize the day, believing as little as possible in the morrow.

Horace

~~~

He said: Both sides of our family turned out for my wife’s college graduation. After the dean finished awarding all the diplomas, he requested, “Will all the cum laudes please stand up”?

My mother-in-law leaned over and whispered, “Wow! The Cum Laude family sure has a lot of kids!”

~~~

“Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.”

Samuel Johnson

~~~

As a language teacher, I usually award certificates of merit to deserving students. One year, I decided to change the format of the certificates and use a seal stamped with my initials.

I called a number of places to buy sealing wax, but they all had identical reactions: a long silence followed by an apology for not having any in stock.

On my last call, there was the silence, but then the salesman asked, “Why ceiling as opposed to floor?”

~~~

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Howard Thurman

~~~

Consider the case of Frederick II, an 18th-century king of Prussia. Frederick fancied himself an enlightened monarch, and in some respects he was. On one occasion, he is supposed to have interested himself in the conditions of a Berlin prison. He was escorted through it so that he might speak to the prisoners.

One after the other, the prisoners fell to their knees before him, bewailing their lot and, predictably, protesting their utter innocence of all charges that had been brought against them.

Only one prisoner remained silent, and finally Frederick’s curiosity was aroused.

“You,” he called. “You, there!

The prisoner looked up. “Yes, your majesty?”

“Why are you here?”

“Armed robbery, your majesty.”

“And are you guilty?”

“Entirely guilty, your majesty. I richly deserve my punishment.

At this Frederick rapped his cane sharply on the ground and said, “Warden, release this guilty wretch at once. I will not have him here in jail where by example he will corrupt all the splendid innocent people who occupy it.

~~~

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

~~~

Two mothers are having a conversation about their children.

“How do you get your Pauly up so early on school mornings?” asks one of them.

“Oh, that’s easy,” replies the other. “I just throw the cat on his bed.”

“Why does that wake him up?”

“He sleeps with the dog.”

~~~

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.

Steve Jobs

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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