Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

Ray’s Daily Suspends Operation

Ray Toon

My wife was hospitalized om Saturday after a major sezire. While she is on the mend and the prognosis is good she is still hospitalized. Since I need to spend as much time as I can with her I am stopping the Daily for a few days.

Ray

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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Be Civil

Ray’s Daily

July 13. 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Civility costs nothing and buys everything.

Mary Wortley Montagu

civility

I worry about all the anger and discord I hear expressed these days. One person says something unkind and another responds in kind both ending up creating unpleasantness that spills over to others.

I think we owe it to our friends and family to avoid being part of the uncivil society. I think we all need to strive to be the person we would like others to be. If we put the following poem into practice we will like ourselves much better and so will others.

Outlook

      Priscilla Leonard

 Forget each kindness that you do

As soon as you have done it.

Forget the praise that falls to you

The moment you have won it.

Forget the slander that you hear

Before you can repeat it.

Forget each slight, each spite, each sheer

Wherever you may meet it.

 

Remember every kindness done

To you, whate’er its measure.

Remember praise by others won

And pass it on with pleasure.

Remember every promise made

And keep it to the letter.

Remember those who lend you aid

And be a grateful debtor.

 

Remember all the happiness

That comes your way in living.

Forget each worry and distress;

Be hopeful and forgiving.

Remember good, remember truth,

Remember Heaven’s above you,

And you will find, through age and youth,

True joys and hearts to love you.

~~~

Aspire to decency. Practice civility toward one another. Admire and emulate ethical behavior wherever you find it. Apply a rigid standard of morality to your lives; and if, periodically, you fail ­ as you surely will adjust your lives, not the standards.

Ted Koppel

~~~

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly.  Another flash.  He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.  So, he made a note to himself to contact the traffic department and tell them that their machine was messed up.

A few weeks later, the off duty police officer received an envelope from the police department containing three traffic citations, each of them were for not wearing a seat belt.

~~~

The luxuries of the few were becoming necessities of the many.

Flora Thompson

~~~

She Said:

Midlife is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.

The good news about midlife is that the glass is still half-full…of course, the bad news is that it won’t be long before your teeth are floating in it.

You know you’ve crossed the midlife threshold when you’re in the grocery store and you hear a Muzak version of “Stairway to Heaven” in the produce department.

Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don’t bounce back.  (It’s more like Splat!)

Midlife brings the wisdom that life throws you curves…and that you’re now sitting on your biggest ones.

Midlife is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, “Listen, honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those things will too!

Midlife is when you start to repeat yourself…and your chins follow suit.

Midlife is when your memory really starts to go. The only thing you still retain is water.

You become more reflective in midlife. You start pondering the “big” questions– what is life, why am I here…how much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?

~~~

Friendship is like a bank account. You can’t continue to draw on it without making deposits.

~~~

Two smart fellows were in an English pub. They called the publican over and asked him to settle an argument. ‘Are there two pints in a quart or four?”, asked one.

“There be two pints in a quart, confirmed the publican. They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.

“Two pints please, miss, and they are on the house.” The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous so one of the fellows called out to the publican at the other end of the bar, “You did say two pints, didn’t you?”

“That’s right, he called back, two pints.”

~~~

The time it takes to rectify a situation is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage.

~~~

The teacher asked the children in the Sunday School class, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?”

“NO”! the children all answered.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven”?

Again, the answer was “NO”!

“Well,” the teacher continued, “then how can I get to Heaven?”  In the back of the room, a 5 year old boy shouted out, “You gotta be dead.

~~~

The great thing about civility is that it does not require you to agree with or approve of anything. You don’t even have to love your neighbor to be civil. You just have to treat your neighbor the same way you would like your neighbor to treat your grandmother, or your child.

Barbara Brown Taylor

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Thanks for listening

Ray’s Daily

July 12, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Because of the interconnectedness of all minds, affirming a positive vision may be about the most sophisticated action any one of us can take.

Willis Harman

Connected

I had lunch yesterday with a dear friend. She is intelligent, caring and kind. She reminded me that there are still some really good people around us. Our conversation brought back to mind a Daily I published on July 12, 2010 that I would like to share with you today.

Thanks for listening

I was talking to one of my grandson’s the other day about effective communications. I told him I thought the measure of our ability to communicate should not be based as much on how well we speak or write but rather on how well we connect and are understood. I read somewhere that with blogs, journals and the mass media there is a lot more being written then read. I know many of the subscribers to Ray’s Daily often skip over what they receive because they have too many other things to do. I understand that and often do the same thing. As I believe I told you before I find that having to think about how I feel about our world each day so that I have something to offer in the Daily is good for me. And when something does connect with even only one reader I am grateful that we have shared a thought.

A few times recently I have written about how I felt when I had lost all contact with a close and respected friend. I also mentioned the hurt that comes when we lose a friendship and do not understand why. My comments hit home with a few of you and you shared your thoughts with me and I am truly grateful that you did. Here are a few of your comments:

Your friendship and the Daily mean a lot to me. You are also the reason I joined Kiwanis, which has given me the tremendous gift of a supportive network of friends. I am so thankful for friends like you!

Joyce – New York

Thank you for your balance of thoughtful rumination and humor. Life can get too heavy without the buoyancy of humor, too frivolous without consideration of what is important. Your blog does, in fact, “multiply”, as I send forth the kernels I gather hear to inspire and amuse my friends.

Saskia – Pacific Northwest

Here a few more triggered by earlier Dailies.

Without you realizing this, you have helped me. I like to hold on to past situations. They stay in my mind. People can look at me on the outside and assume I am happy, but on the inside, I have just another sore added to my hurts. Since I ask a lot of questions, I have come across some positive feedback as to how to deal with friendship…I have learned a true friend will never leave you and never force you down a wrong path. So my friend, all I want to do is say thank you and God bless! I am learning to have no worries!

Renee

I stow sufficiently sick some time behind. Unhappily I did not have a friend as you have close to me, but had some friends here in yahoo and a friend in particular that, although not to be well, supported me. A friend is a treasure, and a treasure is something that we cannot lose….

Célia – Portugal

Wise soul. Buddha like wisdom. Soft centre…kind and funny…takes time to know others and spread some good words…good to be connected.

Julie – UK

To each of you who take a few moments of your time to allow me to share my thoughts, I thank you. I wish I knew everyone of you better, but I know that when you do me the courtesy of listening you provide me the opportunity to be heard and then connected and that is the next best thing to being with you.

Ray

~~~

Life just seems so full of connections.  Most of the time we don’t even pay attention to the depth of life. We only see flat surfaces.

Colin Neenan

~~~

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you, Grandma. Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.”

The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that, dear?” she asked.

The little boy replied, “I heard Daddy tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again!”

~~~

She said, you’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.

~~~

Two smart fellows were in an English pub. They called the publican over and asked him to settle an argument.

‘Are there two pints in a quart or four?”, asked one.

“There be two pints in a quart, confirmed the publican.

They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.

“Two pints please, miss, and they are on the house.”

The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous so one of the fellows called out to the publican at the other end of the bar, “You did say two pints, didn’t you?”

“That’s right, he called back, two pints.”

~~~

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.

Yiddish proverb

~~~

A sailor, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby grave.

The sailor walked up to the man and asked, “When do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?”

The old Chinese man replied with a smile, “Same time your friend comes up to smell the flowers.”

~~~

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”

Steven Seagal

~~~

The teacher asked the children in the Sunday School class, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?”

“NO”! the children all answered.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven”?

Again, the answer was “NO”!

“Well,” the teacher continued, “then how can I get to Heaven?”  In the back of the room, a 5 year old boy shouted out, “You gotta be dead.

~~~

Friendship is a plant we must often water.

German proverb

~~~

Young Chuck, moved to Montana and bought a horse from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.’

Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’

The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’

Chuck said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.’

The farmer asked, ‘What ya gonna do with him?

Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’

The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle off a dead horse!’

Chuck said, ‘Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, ‘What happened with that dead horse?’

Chuck said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a net profit of $898.00.’

The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’

Chuck said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.’

~~~

See deeply the beauty and interconnectedness of all life; then think, speak and act from what you see.

Maggie Streincrohn Davis

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

It’s worth the effort

Ray’s Daily

July 11, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

“Excellence is not a destination; it is a continuous journey that never ends.”

Brian Tracy

Self Improvement

I think the secret of the good life is to never stop growing, no matter your age. If we keep working on becoming what we can be we will not only do better we also will be better. And you will find that the self-tweaking will put a little spice into your day.

I have greatly abridged the following article from INC, but if you are like I am you will benefit from its advice.

Want To Live a Better Life? Use These 8 Life Lessons To Build Your Personal Philosophy

Don’t get lost chasing the wrong things. Building your life from the ground up is the only way to maintain the integrity of your foundation. Read the list below, which contains eight life lessons most people learn too late in life.

  1. Everything is connected. Yes, everything. – Mind, body, and spirit are all related. At the deepest and most fundamental level, we are all modifications of Consciousness. As such, we must view challenges from a holistic perspective. And we must understand that because everything arises from a Prior Unity, we have the responsibility to treat everyone and everything with love, kindness, and respect.
  2. Authenticity creates presence, confidence, and influence. – The most influential leaders are the ones that behave in ways aligned with their values. When you listen to your intuition, trust your instincts, and practice what you preach, it creates authenticity.

And that authenticity is palpable. When people feel your genuineness and sincerity, your presence creates a powerful energy that resonates with others.

  1. Trust is fundamental to your relationship with yourself and others. – Trust is an essential component of self-development. If you can’t trust yourself, then you can’t grow. And if you can’t trust others, then you’ll never discover your true potential.
  2. Love, not time, heals all wounds. – People who think that time heals all wounds have no idea what they’re talking about. Experience is what changes your perspective. Love is what opens you up to deeper and more meaningful experiences. And love is what allows you to forgive others and yourself.
  3. Balance creates harmony and deepens fulfillment. – While everyone’s balance may look different, the truth is that being out of balance creates toxicity. And that toxicity will be expressed on a mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual level. Working towards a balanced life in all aspects is often the more difficult road, but always the one that ends in the greatest fulfillment.
  4. Freedom requires responsibility for your actions. – In this paradoxical world, the more of an individual you become, the more responsible you are for your relationships with others. The mature adult, of which there are few, doesn’t hide from this responsibility, but instead this the fulfillment of life’s law.
  5. Seeking happiness prevents its attainment. – You are seeking that which you are actively divorcing yourself from. We often misplace our essence–love-bliss happiness–onto external objects and then seek those characteristics as if they are separate from ourselves. That’s a common and fundamental error.
  6. Quick fixes don’t provide lasting results. – The truth is that quick fixes don’t work–they mask a problem and create 10 more. Don’t get caught living a life of quick fixes, unhappiness, and consumerism. Move beyond those superficial tendencies and towards something deeper.

~~~

“It is not as much about who you used to, as it is about who you choose to be.”

Sanhita Baruah

~~~

He said: My kid brother, a strict vegetarian, travels abroad for long periods on business. When he got back from Europe one time, he called our parents’ home and told Dad he was about to pay them an unexpected visit. When Dad hung up the phone, he called to my mother. “The prodigal son is returning! Kill the fatted zucchini!”

~~~

You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.

~~~

Science Sillies from 5th & 6th Graders

It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like umbrellas.

The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

One of the main causes of dust is DIRT.

To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

~~~

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

~~~

The new family in the neighborhood overslept, and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus. The father, though late for work, agreed to drive her if she’d direct him to the school.

They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes – but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home.

The father asked his daughter why she’d led him around in such a circle.

The child explained, “That’s the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It’s the only way I know.”

~~~

Hors D’oeuvres  — A sandwich cut into 20 pieces.

~~~

The relatives of the family’s rich dowager gathered for the reading of her will after her long awaited death.

“Being of sound mind,” read the lawyer, “I spent every last cent before I died.”

~~~

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

Ernest Hemingway

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Wish Us Well

Ray’s Daily

July 10, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

There is nothing permanent except change.

Heraclitus

change

As my wife and me start to plan to move to a more supportive living environment we are faced with the reality of downsizing and selling our home that has served us well for about 30 years. The thought of leaving a great place in a premiere location is not easy. We just had the home inspected to see what needs to be done to offer it for sale and it appears that we will have to invest thousands to do what is needed. I am glad our family is helping us deal with it all.

While there is some trauma associated with moving the results will be better for us in the years ahead. I recently read an article on the Top Life Results blog on handling change, here are some excerpts from the piece that I will need to focus on.

Face Your Aversion to Change As You Overcome Anxiety

The concept of “change” can be a rather overwhelming undertaking.

Recognize that a Positive Attitude Towards Change will Help You (and not Hinder You)

If you’re beginning a journey of personal transformation, the concept of change can be rather scary proposition. When we make personal changes – and start to become less anxious about life, it requires us to take an adventure into the “unknown.”

Once you have a positive attitude towards change, you will be more likely to tell yourself “This change in my life will help me.” 

Recognize That Change Involves Stepping Outside Of Your Comfort Zone

Growth involves facing our fears, taking action – knowing that we’ll survive things like disappointment, failure, disapproval, and rejection.  These experiences help us learn about the power of perseverance, courage, and of the will to succeed.

Realize that Making Changes in Life Can Be Rewarding

In summary, here are my three ideas about personal change:

A positive attitude towards change will help you (and will not hinder you).

Making a meaningful change means stepping outside of your comfort zone.

Making changes in life can be difficult but ultimately rewarding.

~~~

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

She said that now that they are retired, her mother and father are discussing all aspects of their future. “What will you do if I die before you do?” Dad asked Mom.

After some thought, she said that she’d probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age. Then Mom asked Dad, “What will you do if I die first?”

He replied, “Probably the same thing.”

~~~

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can’t find them.

~~~

A young couple decided they needed an au pair, and arranged for a girl to come over from Northern Finland.  When she arrived, the wife asked, “Can you cook?”

“No,” said the girl, “My mother always did that.”

“Can you do housework?” asked the wife.

“No, my oldest sister always did that.”

“Well,” said the wife, “You’d better just look after the children.”

“I don’t know how,” said the girl. “My youngest sister always did that.”

“What can you do, then?” asked the wife, in desperation.

“Well,” said the Finnish girl brightly, “I can milk reindeer.”

~~~

On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.

~~~

Up at the head table in the cafeteria, one of the nuns had placed a big bowl of bright red, fresh, juicy apples.  Beside the bowl, she placed a note which read, “Take only one.  Remember, God is watching.”

At the other end of the table was a bowl full of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, still warm from the oven.

Beside the bowl, a little note scrawled in a child’s handwriting which read, “Take all you want.  God’s watching the apples.”

~~~

BATHROOM: a room used by the entire family, believed by all (except Mom) to be self-cleaning.

~~~

“Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas,” little Joshua said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. “It’s the best Christmas present I ever got.”

“That’s great,” said his uncle. “Do you know how to play it?”

“Oh, I don’t play it,” the little fellow said. “My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night.”

~~~

“Hope for the best, expect the worst. Life is a play. We’re unrehearsed.”

Mel Brooks

~~~

He said:

My tennis partner, Peter, is responsible for alumni relations at his high-school alma mater. Last fall, a member of the Class of 1986 returned the standard alumni questionnaire with this response:

Marital Status – Not good

Wife’s Name – Plaintiff

~~~

“I’d like two pork chops,” said the patron to her butcher, “and make them lean.”

“Yes ma’am,” said the obliging butcher, standing them on end. “Which way?”

~~~

Change can be frightening, and the temptation is often to resist it. But change almost always provides opportunities – to learn new things, to rethink tired processes, and to improve the way we work.

Klaus Schwab

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Good Days Ahead

July 9, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

Aristotle

Better DaysThis weekend my kids arraigned for an inspector to check out our house. In the process my daughter removed things we had stored in our attic. Some we forgot we had, some reeked with memories of days past. Of course, none are required in our downsized life.

I am learning there is little value in holding on to what we don’t need. In fact, we probably will benefit with less clutter in our lives. Our marriage is not based on what we have accumulated but on our need for each other. I am confident that if we look forward without trying to hold on to the past we will enjoy what’s ahead.

Here are some tips I picked up recently on how we can increase happiness.

Happiness Tips Therapists Want You to Know

Hallie Gould

Set healthy boundaries. -“Set healthy boundaries and eliminate negative people from your life,” says Hafeez. “This one is a tough one because some of the people closest to you can be the most negative. But take this opportunity to evaluate your life and the people in it—determine what kind of access they get. Say, for example, your mother is hypercritical or you have a controlling friend involved in your every decision. Suggest you communicate just twice weekly to connect and share your big wins. Old friends who aren’t committed to growth will hold you back. Self-care means making decisions that serve you best.”

Learn to say no without explanation. – “You can thank people for thinking of you or simply say no thank you. The end,” says Hafeez. “You are not obligated to do things you don’t enjoy or feel comfortable taking part in, no explanation necessary.

Practice making swift decisions. – “When you go to a restaurant, does it take you a long time to figure out what you want? When you go shopping, do you find it impossible to choose what you want? Overcome this by getting into the habit of allowing yourself 10 seconds to decide,” suggests Hafeez. “You will begin to see that a reluctance to make decisions is connected to a fear of failure or perfectionism which keeps us small and disempowered.”

Take full responsibility. – “You can’t control others. You can control yourself. If you release your need for external conditions to dictate your happiness, you will control less and feel happier,” says Hafeez. Appreciate three things about your life currently.

“It’s helpful to find time to appreciate three things about your life, as it is currently, every single day,” notes Hafeez. “If you are able to wake up, breathe, and feel the sun on your face, there are three things right there. Appreciation is the fuel for happiness.”

Take pleasure in doing absolutely nothing. -“We live in a society where we chase money, love, and approval,” notes Hafeez. “Take yourself off the grid and relax with a good book or soothing music with zero guilt.”

Smile. – It sounds obvious, but Shore says the act of smiling can trick your mind into feeling happier. “Smiling looks good on anyone, and your body releases endorphins simply by smiling,” she says. To make sure you reach your daily smile quota, Shore recommends finding a laughter yoga club in your city. “They are usually free or just a few dollars; it’s cheap therapy,” she says. “In this political climate, the need to smile is more urgent than ever before.”

~~~

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

Helen Keller

~~~

Eager to make her mark in the world of business, the attractive new MBA took a job as executive assistant to the middle aged owner of a fast-growing computer software company.

She found the work challenging and the travel interesting, but was extremely annoyed by her boss’s tendency to treat her in public as though she were his girlfriend rather than a professional associate.

This was especially irritating in restaurants, where he would insist on ordering for her, and on calling her “dearest” or “darling” within earshot of the waiters. When she told him how much it bothered her, he promised to stop, but the patronizing behavior continued.

Finally, as he led her into a four-star restaurant, she took matters into her own hands.

“Where would you like to sit, sweetheart?” he asked, with a wink at the maitre’d.

“Gee,” she replied, “anywhere you say, Dad.”

~~~

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

Ogden Nash

~~~

She said: During my training as a medical-group receptionist, I was told never to recommend one of our doctors over another, but simply state who had available appointments. One day a woman came in and looked at me conspiratorially. “I’m a nurse,” she whispered, “and I know the staff always knows which doctors are good and which aren’t. Who do you think I should see?” Knowing my supervisor was listening close by, I tried to sound most professional. “Oh, I’m sorry,” I replied. “I can’t recommend any of our doctors.” “Well, you must know!” she said, heading for the door.

~~~

Is it my imagination…or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

~~~

A few women were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands. One lady said “My husband just won’t go to church with me, I think he’s going to go to Hell.”

This led to talk around the table and it was generally agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands were going to end up in Hell.

So, then the housewives started speculating about themselves. One woman said “I try to be good – I’m sure I’ll make it to Heaven.”

Another one said, “No, I did this bad thing. I won’t make it unless I mend my ways and I better start soon.”

At this point they noticed that one of the ladies (the only single women in the group, and a blonde mind you) wasn’t saying anything. They turned to her and said “You’re such a nice lady, surely you’ll be going to Heaven?”

She says “No way! In fact, first thing in the morning, I’m going to buy me a ticket straight to Hell!”

They were shocked and asked, “Why??”

“Well, you don’t expect me to live in a world without men, do you?”

~~~

“I feel so strongly about toilet graffiti, I signed a partition.”

~~~

I was meeting a friend in a bar, and as I went in I noticed two pretty girls looking at me.

“Nine,” I heard one whisper as I passed.

Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten.

“I don’t want to ruin it for you,” he said, “but when I walked in, they were speaking German.”

~~~

In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom.

Buddha

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Ray’s Daily

July 6, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.

Booth Tarkington

old agejpg

I know that most of the readers of Ray’s Daily are a lot younger than I am. Some, including my own kids are in those mid-life years. I am glad that they, and many of my friends don’t seem to suffer from any midlife crisis but I know that some other folks do. My memory is not good enough to remember if I did or not, I think I was too busy to notice.

We live so long these days that I am not even sure what the midlife years are anymore.. What got me thinking about this was a long article written by Jill Suttie that talks about midlife blues. In it she writes about the positives that come from old age, and I think her conclusions are accurate, at least they were for me. Here is what she had to say.

Excerpts from How to Survive Your Midlife Blues

Here are some of the benefits of coming out of our midlife slump.

Stress tends to decline. It seems intuitive—after all, we probably have fewer work or family stressors as we get older and our careers stabilize or our children leave home. But, in fact, researchers have found that even holding other things constant, stress still tends to go down as we age, and this downward curve in stress seems to be tied to our increased happiness.

Emotional regulation improves. Not only do older adults tend to experience less intense emotions than younger adults, they also seem to handle emotions better in general. After listening to taped recordings of people making disparaging remarks about them, older adults responded with less negative feedback toward the critics and more detachment around the situation, suggesting greater emotional regulation.

Older people feel less regret. Stephanie Brassen and her colleagues found that when people made the wrong choice and lost all of their winnings in a game, older participants experienced less regret than younger adults—a finding also reflected in their distinct brain activity patterns.

Older people are less depression-prone. According to research, depression becomes less common as we get older. This may be because older adults seem to have a greater optimism bias—the feeling that things will work out—and more positivity—a focus on the positive rather than the negative in life—than younger people.

~~~

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Francis Bacon

~~~

A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. “Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother’s meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it’s just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it’s the one you gave me. But it just didn’t come out right, and I’m so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?”

Her mother replied soothingly, “Well, dear, let’s go through the recipe.

You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we’ll figure it out.”

“OK,” the bride sniffled. “Well, it starts out, ‘Take fifty cents worth of ground beef’ …”

~~~

Talent is only the starting point.

Irving Berlin

~~~

One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse’s office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas.

“Why are you dressed like that?” I asked her.

“I told my son,” she explained, “that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I’ve come to spend the day with him!”

~~~

When all other means of communication fail, try words!

~~~

“Congratulations my boy!” said the groom’s uncle. “I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life.”

“But I’m not getting married until tomorrow,” protested his nephew.

“I know,” replied the uncle, “that’s exactly what I mean.”

~~~

Live each day as if it were your last … someday it will be.

~~~

A bible-thumping preacher was really getting it going one Sunday, and in the heat of the Gospel, an attractive lady leaned out of the balcony a little too far, and fell over the railing.

As she passed the chandelier on the way down, the hem of her dress caught on part of the fixture, and she hung there with her dress pulled clear over her hips for everyone’s viewing pleasure!

The preacher, a sensitive sort, cried out, “Any man who dares to look shall be struck blind!”

An old fellow in the front row nudged his friend and said, “I’m gonna chance it. This left eye ain’t worth a damn, anyway!”

~~~

The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.

~~~

Panicking when her toddler swallowing a tiny magnet, my sister rushed him to the emergency room.

“He’ll be fine,” the doctor promised her. “The magnet should pass through his system in a day or two.”

“How will I be sure?” she pressed.

“Well,” the doctor suggested, “you could stick him on the refrigerator. When he falls off, you’ll know.”

~~~

Old age may have its limitations and challenges, but in spite of them, our latter years can be some of the most rewarding and fulfilling of our lives.

Billy Graham

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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