Ray's musings and humor

Uncluttering

Ray’s Daily

March 8, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.”

Walt Disney

For many of us there are choices we can make to make the future better than just a return to our past. Some of us have learned in the past year how draining a life of isolation can be. Now that we have a chance to return to a more open lifestyle we have an opportunity to bulid a life that is going to make us as happy as possible.

Spring is almost here, let us use it as a time to create our new future, one that simplifies the days ahead. Here is an article that offers us tips on how we can uncomplicate our tomorrows.

The Top 10 Tips for Uncluttering Your Life

Carmen Stine

Mental and emotional clutter can keep you from doing what you really want to do. Here are 10 tips for “unloading” the clutter in your life. It’s time for spring cleaning!

1. Get rid of the human vampires. – Avoid contact with people who are energy drains. Even if they’re family members that you can’t avoid altogether, make a decision to limit the time you are around them and what you will allow them to engage you in.

2. Learn to say NO. – It’s the first word you learned when you were two. Use it! It’s your life, time, and resource and you have the right to use it as you see fit without comments from the peanut galley.

3. Take time for YOU. – Time is short for all of us. Make a decision to set aside down-time that is just for you, even if you can only start with 15 minutes a day.

4. Have a garage or sidewalk sale. – Getting rid of physical stuff you don’t need frees you up mentally and physically. Make room for writing that book, sewing that quilt, or whatever it is you have always wanted space for.

5. Pay cash. – Credit card bills equal bondage and lack of freedom. Free yourself and create choices for the things that really matter to you. If you can’t pay for it, you don’t need it.

6. Limit tradition. – Most tradition is senseless and a time-waster. If it doesn’t make sense, forget it!

7. Embrace quality time. – Schedule time for the things and special people in your life and then FOCUS only on them without distractions. You will both enjoy your time together more if you know beforehand that nothing else will get in the way.

8. Set priorities. – It’s impossible to do EVERYTHING well. Develop a pecking order of priorities and streamline it until you have only those things on the list that really matter.

9. Forget the Joneses’. – Even if you believe everyone’s watching you, the truth is no one’s paying that much attention to you.

10. Live YOUR life. – What works for someone else may not work for you. Take direction from your inner instinct and go with it!

~~~

“Plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”

Jose Luis Borges

~~~

IDIOTS AT WORK

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn’t want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOTS AT THE AIRPORT

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?”  To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” She smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”

~~~

“I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.”

Dorothy Parker

~~~

Well it finally happened, retaliation! The blondes of the world got together and have decided to take revenge on the brunettes:

WHAT’S BLACK AND BLUE AND BROWN AND LAYING IN A DITCH?

A brunette who’s told too many blonde jokes.

WHAT’S THE REAL REASON A BRUNETTE KEEPS HER FIGURE?

No one else wants it.

WHY ARE SO MANY BLONDE JOKES ONE-LINERS?

So brunettes can remember them.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BRUNETTE IN A ROOM FULL OF BLONDES?

Invisible.

WHY IS THE BRUNETTE CONSIDERED AN EVIL COLOR?

When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

WHAT DO BRUNETTES MISS MOST ABOUT A GREAT PARTY?

The invitation

KNOW WHO INVENTED BLONDE JOKES?

Brunettes, they had nothing better to do on Friday or Saturday nights

~~~

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

~~~

A newspaper writer, after working for 17 long years, was finally granted two months leave, during which time he would be fully paid. However, he turned down his boss’ kind offer.

The boss asked, “Why would you turn down such a generous offer?”

The newspaper writer said there were 2 reasons.

“Well, what are they?” asked the boss.

“The first,” he said, “is that I thought that my taking such a long leave might affect the newspaper’s circulation.”

The boss asked him what the other reason was.

“The other reason,” replied the writer, “is that I thought my taking such a long leave might NOT affect the newspaper’s circulation.”

~~~

A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.

~~~

He said: The company where my brother worked had a phone system that rerouted after-hours calls.  If any calls came in on a certain line while he was working  late, Dave knew it would be a wrong number.

It got to the point where, as soon as the phone rang, Dave would pick up and say, “Psychic Hotline. I’m sorry, but you’ve dialed the wrong number.”

The callers would often reply with something like, “But I didn’t even ask to speak to anyone yet.

How did you know I dialed the wrong . . . Oh! (Click)

~~~

I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.

John Cage

~~~

If they are still married this is obviously untrue.

The first morning after the honeymoon, Sam got up early, went down to the kitchen, and brought his wife her breakfast in bed. It was beautifully fixed. Naturally, she was delighted.

Then he spoke: “Have you noticed just what I have done?”

“Of course, dear. Every single detail. It’s all wonderful!”

“Good. Because that’s how I want my breakfast served every morning.”

~~~

Abstinence should be practiced in moderation.

~~~

A Baptist preacher and his wife decided they needed a dog. Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be Baptist.

They visited an expensive kennel and explained their needs to the manager, who assured them he had just the dog for them. The dog was produced and the manager said, “Fetch the Bible.”

The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the manager. The manager then said “Find Psalms 23”. The dog, showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed thru the Bible, found the correct passage, and pointed to it with his paw. Duly impressed, the couple purchased the dog.

That evening a group of parishioners came to visit. The preacher and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were amazed. Finally, one man asked, “Can he do normal dog tricks too?”

“Let’s see” said the preacher. Pointing his finger at the dog, he commanded “Heel!” The dog immediately jumped up on a chair, placed one paw on the preacher’s forehead and began to howl.

The preacher turned to his wife and exclaimed “Good grief, we’ve bought a Pentecostal dog!”

~~~

“Don’t allow your past or present condition to control you. It’s just a process that you’re going through to get you to the next level.”

T.D Jakes

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Free at Last

Ray’s Daily

March 5, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

On the other side of this darkness, a new day will slowly dawn.

Corban Addison

We have been emancipated! We have been advised today that we can begin more normal lives. I will enjoy meals with friends as well as occasionl away restaurant visits. While we still have a way to go as we establish our new normal but at least we can begin to do so. Here are our new rules.

•         Dining room service for three meals a day.

•         Activities may include 10-15 socially distanced residents at a time.

•         Bus rides have resumed with riders socially distanced and wearing masks.

•         With an advance reservation for up to four people, guests may have a meal with their loved one in our private dining room. 

•         We have resumed scheduled entertainment including well-enjoyed live music.

•         This Friday brings the return of Happy Hour to our dining room with hors d’oeuvres delivered to the table.

We no longer require a 14-day quarantine for residents who leave the community for less than 24 hours.

Our Independent Living residents may have visitors in their apartments.

As we all adjust to our new normal it is worth remembering the following.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

Our lives are made up of a million moments, spent in a million different ways. Some are spent searching for love, peace, and harmony. Others are spent surviving day by day.

But there is no greater moment than when we find that life, with all it’s joys and sorrows, is meant to be lived one day at a time. It’s in this knowledge that we discover the most wonderful truth of all.

Whether we live in a forty-room mansion, surrounded by servants and wealth, or find it a struggle to manage the rent month to month, we have it within our power to be fully satisfied and live a life with true meaning.

One day at a time – we have that ability, through cherishing each moment and rejoicing in each dream. We can experience each day anew, and with this fresh start we have what it takes to make all our dreams come true. Each day is new, and living one day at a time enables us to truly enjoy life and live it to the fullest.

Author Unknown

~~~

Time is like the wind, it lifts the light and leaves the heavy.

Doménico Cieri Estrada

~~~

There really is a difference

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

 A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

 A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

~~~

“Don’t ya just hate it when you see one of those road signs that says ‘Draw Bridge Ahead’ and you don’t have a pencil.”

~~~

David was a crotchety old fellow who always took breakfast with his wife.  He would read the morning paper while she fumed at his neglect, and today of all days because it was their 25th wedding anniversary.

“David!!  David!!  Put down that paper and let’s talk about how we are going to celebrate our wedding anniversary today.  What do you suggest?”

David put his newspaper down, removed and polished his glasses, stared for a moment into the distance, then said, “How about two minutes of silence?”

~~~

Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

~~~

Chet: How does Wilma like being pregnant, Bert?

Bert: She’s not “pregnant.” She’s “expecting.”

Chet: Oh!

Bert: She’s expecting me to do more housework. She’s expecting me to cook dinner. She’s expecting me to rub her feet, etc.

~~~

No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn’t work anyway

~~~

Taking up painting, an asylum inmate worked for weeks on his masterpiece.  When he finally showed it to asylum doctors, they were stunned.  The canvas was entirely blank.

“Ummmm, yeah, it’s lovely,” said one psychiatrist, “but, er…what is it?”

“Why,” the inmate proudly replied, “it is a painting of the exodus from Egypt.”

“I see,” said another doctor.  “Actually, what I don’t see is the Red Sea.”

“Ah,” said the inmate, “it’s been parted…driven back, as it says in the Old Testament.”

“And the Israelites?”

“They have already passed through.”

“And what of the Egyptians?” demanded another.

“Are you blind?”  said the artist, growing indignant. “They haven’t arrived yet!”

~~~

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

~~~

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of holiday shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm…. That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.”

The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a purse, the owner didn’t have any change for a reward.”

~~~

I hope you realize that every day is a fresh start for you. That every sunrise is a new chapter in your life waiting to be written.

Juansen Dizon

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

It’s Never Too Late

Ray’s Daily

March 4, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“It is never too late to be who you might have been.”

George Eliot

Here is another Daily from yesteryear.

Ray’s Daily first published on March 4, 2013

One of the things I really like about my life these days is the freedom to pursue activities that provide me personal satisfaction. I never dreamed that at a time when I am well past retirement that I would be involved in so much gratifying activity.

I get to work with people who are making our community a better place, I get to participate in projects that are worthwhile and often fun, and if that wasn’t enough I get to attend forums and theatre events that help me to do more than just coast through my later years. But best of all is that I now spend so much time with truly inspiring people, the great thing with those encounters is that their inspiration rubs off on me. Life is great when you are fueled by inspiration and look forward to each day.

I really don’t think I need much more than I already have but you might want to refill your inspiration tank, if so read what author Kevin Eikenberry wrote recently on the Keys to Inspiration.

5 Keys to Lasting Inspiration

Passion – the Fuel for the Fire − Every fire requires fuel. The more fuel you have and the higher quality of that fuel, the bigger and more powerful your fire. If you want to create lasting inspiration you must be working and living from a place of passion. You must be doing things you love!

Purpose – the Big Why − Before you can make anything happen, you need to understand and clearly define your purpose. Why do you want to achieve? What is in it for you, your family and those around you? When you connect your passion to a purpose you get excited about, your fire is already roaring; the rest is channeling the flames in the proper direction. Which leads directly to …

Goals – the Direction of Your Dreams − Goals are an extremely important part of the inspiration equation, but they aren’t the start. Have you ever set a goal and become discouraged, or perhaps even despondent, when you weren’t making progress? This is much less likely to happen, when your goals are set in connection with your passion and spurred by your purpose.

Inspirational Inputs – the Oxygen for Your Inspiration − The first three components can be in place, and your inspirational flames can still smolder. Why? Because life happens! Things change, setbacks occur and we fall prey to our humanness. Just like a fire needs oxygen, we all need inputs that continue to breathe life into our inspiration. Perhaps for you it’s your favorite music or movie. Perhaps it is a play or poetry. Maybe it is a seminar, workshop or time spent with the most positive person you know. Maybe it is all of these and more. Whatever your inspirational inputs are recognize that they are the oxygen for your fire. You don’t get upset at a fire when it needs oxygen. Neither should you expect your inspiration to tend to itself without additional inputs on a regular basis.

Action – the Small Steps that Create Momentum − Want the ultimate cure for waning inspiration? Take action! Do something! Get off the couch and get going. You can’t do everything today, and you don’t have to. Do something. Take a step. And then keep going. You will get there, and you will move further faster than you realize.

These five keys can give you a lifetime blazing fire of inspiration in your life. You must recognize that the spark you love will never become a raging fire without help.

~~~

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”

Steve Jobs

~~~

Cooking Definitions

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don’t own, to make a dish the dog won’t eat.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned not only when the food is removed, but when it is put in the oven.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

~~~

“No one needs a smile as much as a person who fails to give one.”

~~~

A Kansas cyclone hit a farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It lifted the roof off, picked up the beds, on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county. The wife began to cry.

“Don’t be scared, Mary,” her husband said.  “We’re not hurt.”

Mary continued to cry.  “I’m not scared,” she responded between sobs. “I’m happy ’cause this is the first time in 14 years we’ve been out together.”

~~~

Every family should have at least three children.  Then if one is a genius, the other two can support him.

~~~

She sent me this:

Today is the International Day of The Very Good Looking, Beautiful and Damn Attractive People, so send this message to someone you think fits this description. Please do not send it back to me as I have already received over one thousand messages and my inbox is jammed full.

Thanks

~~~

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

~~~

Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for him and conduct a funeral Mass scheduled for that day. His brother, of course, agreed.

It was not until the brother was accompanying the casket down the aisle, however, that he realized that he had neglected to ask the sex of the deceased. This was information that he would need for his remarks during the service.

As he approached the first pew where the deceased’s relatives were seated he nodded toward the casket and whispered to one woman, “Brother or sister?”

“Cousin,” she replied.

~~~

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

Robert Louis Stevenson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Better Days

Ray’s Daily

March 3, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Sometimes carrying on, just carrying on, is the superhuman achievement.”

Albert Camus

At last we will relax the restrictions that have helped us through the worst of the Covid epidemic. I will soon be able to venture out with friends and family for occasional visits and even restaurant meals.

This last year has not been easy for any of us and I know the return to social interaction will be a welcome change. I am not going to agonize over the past, rather I am going to do all I can to make the best of the days ahead.

Here is an abridged article written by Lauren Baptiste that I find helpful, I hope you will as well.

6 Positive Shifts in Behavior That Will Change Your Entire Life

These mental resilience practices have the power to change your life, if you invite them in wholeheartedly. Whether you’re addressing pandemic fatigue or another high-stress time in your life, these practices can shorten and possibly end the cycles of overwhelm and burnout.

1. Be Compassionate: Do Not Criticize – When you stop being overly critical, your work and relationships will improve. You may even notice this feeling of positivity impacting the way your body feels. Managing your stress starts and ends with embracing wellness in all five of your senses.

2. Be Tolerant: Trade Expectations for Appreciation – This one is all about perspective–sometimes we want to be control freaks, am I right? Yearning for control is understandable, particularly during a time of uncertainty. But when we trade expectations for appreciation, we actually feel less out of control.

3. Be Empathetic: Don’t Hesitate to Apologize – Instead of carrying around the burden of taking offense, release that negativity. Like water off a duck’s back, try to quickly forgive the person for your own sense of peace. They will learn by example from your tolerance and you can continue to maintain positive thinking practices.

5. Be Optimistic: Let Others Know You See the Best in Them – When we endure challenging circumstances for a long period of time, our patience wears thin. As a result our interpersonal relationships suffer. We place unfair expectations on others or take out our frustration on our coworkers and loved ones. As a result, those close to us will often match our negative energy and we will feel isolated. It’s a vicious cycle.

You can break that cycle by consciously looking for the best in others. When you see someone push themselves or succeed, express your admiration. When you see the best in others, they will often rise to your belief in them. In turn, you will both treat each other with more respect and compassion.

6. Be Grateful: Swap the Negativity for Gratitude – This one is key. Despite the abundant challenges of this year, I alway refer back to my sense of gratitude for the positive parts of my life. Gratitude keeps me grounded when stress, burnout or pandemic fatigue begin to weigh on me.

As we near this bitter-sweet anniversary, I encourage you to reflect on your growth this year. Even if you’re experiencing the effects of pandemic fatigue, try to reframe those negative feelings with positive affirmations. We may be approaching a dark anniversary, but we are also nearing the light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s try to let go of setting ourselves up for failure with negative expectations and appreciate the start of a new journey in 2021.

~~~

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”

Christopher Reeve

~~~

Laws of Life:

* Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.  

* Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.  

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.  

* Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.  

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else.  

* Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.  

~~~

“I used to be scared of dogs. Then I realized that dogs are just as scared of me as I am of them; they just show it differently. They show it by barking and snapping at me, and I show it by wetting myself.”

Dakota Shepard

~~~

The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters.

The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, ‘The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.’ If it’s really him, he’ll answer, ‘Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'”

So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a bar in one of the small towns. He says to the bartender, “Maybe you can help me. I’m looking for a guy named Murphy.”

The bartender replies, “You’re going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There’s Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There’s Murphy the Banker, who’s president of our local savings bank. There’s Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too.”

Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on the bartender, so he says, “The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.”

The bartender replies, “Oh, you’re looking for Murphy the Spy. He lives right down the street on the left.”

~~~

“There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs there’d be no place to put it all.”

Robert Orben

~~~

Top Ten Signs You’re Being Stalked by Martha Stewart

10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they’re all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.

9. You find a lemon slice in the dog’s water bowl.

8. On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen licorice downspout and the half-open graham cracker garage door.

7. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon,rose petal & saffron demi-glace’, with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a delicate mint-fennel sauce.

6. The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even after you leave the bathroom.

5. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into a swan.

4. No matter “where” you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster fork.

3. Twice this week you’ve been the victim of a drive-by doilying.

2. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in every orifice.

AND THE NUMBER 1 Sign You’re Being Stalked by Martha Stewart…

1. You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.

~~~

I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.

Rumi

~~~

William’s wife started noticing how forgetful he was becoming.  Being the concerned wife, she convinced him to see a doctor.  William was a little worried when the doctor came in.  Sensing his patient’s nervousness, the first thing the doctor did was to ask what was troubling him.

“Well,” William answered. “I seem to be getting forgetful. I’m never sure I can remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter, or where I’m going, or what it is I’m going to do once I get there, if I get there. So, I really need your help. What can I do?”

The doctor thought for a moment, then answered in his kindest tone, “Pay me in advance.”

~~~

Is it possible to be totally partial?

~~~

Chuckie and Mike were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, Chuckie threw his rod down and started running through the woods as fast as he could. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.

“Let’s see yer fishin’ license, Boy!” the Warden gasped.

With that, Chuckie pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

“Well, son,” said the Game Warden,” You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don’t have to run from me if you have a valid license!”

“Yes, sir,” replied the young guy. “But my buddy back there, well, he don’t have one.”

~~~

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

~~~

A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following the happy outcome of the case, the friend and client called on the lawyer, expressed his appreciation of his work and handed him a handsome Moroccan leather wallet.

The lawyer looked at the wallet in astonishment and handed it back with a sharp reminder that a wallet could not possible compensate him for his services. “My fee for that work,” acidly snapped the attorney, “is five hundred dollars.”

The client opened the wallet, removed a one-thousand dollar bill, replaced it with a five-hundred dollar bill and handed it back to the lawyer with a smile.

~~~

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life.”

J.K. Rowling

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

What We Can Give

Ray’s Daily

March 2, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.

Meryl Streep

As our society reopens we each have the opportunity to make the days ahead good ones. Yesterday I wrote about our new normal, something we can create to be rewarding in our future days. Bottom line it will be what we make it.

As they say “what we sow will be what we reap.” What follows is an offering on what we can do to make our futures special. I know I plan on focusing on its suggestions.

Priceless gifts you can give

THE GIFT OF LISTENING – No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your responses. Just listen.

THE GIFT OF AFFECTION – Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back, and hand holding.

THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER – Share articles, positive news, funny stories, and cartoons to tell someone, ‘I love to laugh with you.’

THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT – A simple and sincere ‘You look great in red,’ ‘You did a super job,’ or ‘That was a wonderful meal’ can make someone’s day.

THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE – Be sensitive to the times when others want nothing more than to be left alone.

THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION – The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, even if it’s just saying hello or thank you.

THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP – Without friends life would hardly be worth living, let your friends know just how much they mean to you today.

THE GIFT OF YOUR SMILE – A simple smile breaks all the barriers of language and culture. Smile and the world smiles with you!

Author Unknown

~~~

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value.

Charles Dudley Warner

~~~

She said:

What’s in a name? Apparently, a lot more than you (or I) ever thought there was. Here’s what his pet name for you *really* means…..

Darling — Depends on how he says it. If he stresses the first syllable, then he’s probably done something wrong or wants money.

Dear — Probably a leftover from his parents. Expect him to wear woolly cardigans, smoke a pipe and prefer a mug of Ovaltine to lager.

Sweetheart — If it’s said patronizingly, it’s not so sweet. But when uttered in earnest, it may send your own sweet heart aflutter.

Babe — Not to be confused with the film of the same name. Check for flares or signs that he’s a 70s throwback. He’s a bit of a medallion man. Chances are he’s got his initials on his chunky ring. Leave immediately if he tries to sell you a second-hand car.

Baby doll — This type of man will probably require you to wear transparent frilly nighties even in the dead of winter. He doesn’t want you to grow up, and obviously can’t deal with real women.

Princess — Never trust a man who calls you princess. You may think you’re being treated like royalty, but beware of Prince Charmings – they may be secretly plotting your over- throw.

Sexy — Fine if you’re sexy. If you’re not, who cares? He probably thinks you are anyway!!

My girlfriend — He’s honest, open and probably glad to have you around. The next thing you know he’ll be using your name!

The wife — If you’re married then he probably thinks he owns you. If you’re not, he probably thinks you act like his wife, in which case, he thinks he owns you.

My other half — You complete the set – he’s only half a man without you. But it may make you feel as though you are losing your identity somewhere.

The missus — See The Wife.

My partner — He’s right on. Probably likes eating tofu and hugging trees.

My significant other — He’s even more right on. Probably thinks it’s cruel to eat tofu and that trees need their own space.

~~~

Anybody who can remember when “boobs” meant “the dumb kids” surely qualifies for middle age.

~~~

He said:

When my grandmother was in her eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and get all of her medical charts. The doctor asked her how she was doing, and she gave him the normal litany of complaints: this hurts, that’s stiff, I’m tireder and slower, etc., etc., etc.

He responded with, “Mrs. Weiss, you have to expect things to start deteriorating. After all, who wants to live to 100?”

My grandmother looked him straight in the eye and replied, “Anyone who’s 99.”

~~~

Thinking about profound social change, conservatives always expect disaster, while revolutionaries confidently anticipate utopia. Both are wrong.

Carolyn Heilbrun

~~~

I was carpooling with my friend Craig, he noticed that the “Check oil” light was on. He pulled into the gas station, got out of the car, opened the hood, checked the engine oil, closed the hood, then got back into the car.

“Can we make a quick stop?” He asked.

“Sure,” I replied, “what did you need to do?”

“I need to stop by the auto parts place to get a longer dipstick.”

“What do you need a longer one for?” I inquired.

“Because the one I got isn’t long enough to reach the oil!”

~~~

“Now that I’m here, where am I?”

Janis Joplin

~~~

An Irishman sees a job advert published on a building site, ‘handy man wanted; apply within’.

So he does and speaks to the foreman.

Foreman:    Can you drive a forklift truck?

Irish man:  No

Foreman:    can you plaster?

Irish man:  No

Foreman:    Can you brick lay?

Irish man:  No

Foreman:    If you don’t mind me asking, what’s handy about you?

Irish man:  I only live five minutes down the road….

~~~

Anonymous, quite possibility the most prolific poet and writer of all time, once said …

~~~

An old Sailor and an old Marine were sitting at the VFW arguing about who’d had the tougher career.

“I did 30 years in the Corps,” the Marine declared proudly, “and fought in three of my country’s wars.  Fresh out of boot camp, I hit the beach at Okinawa, clawed my way up the blood-soaked sand, and eventually took out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade. As a sergeant, I fought in Korea. We pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese border, always under a barrage of artillery and small arms fire. Finally, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours in Vietnam. We humped through the mud and razorgrass for 14 hours a day, plagued by rain and mosquitoes, ducking under sniper fire all day and mortar fire all night. In a firefight, we’d fire until our arms ached and our guns were empty, then we’d charge the enemy with bayonets!”

“Ah….” said the Sailor with a dismissive wave of his hand…    “all shore duty, huh?”

~~~

Each day offers us the gift of being a special occasion if we can simply learn that as well as giving, it is blessed to receive with grace and a grateful heart.

Sarah Ban Breathnach

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

My New Normal

Ray’s Daily

March 1, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“This is a wonderful day. I have never seen this one ever before.”

Maya Angelou

Today they are going to reopen our residence’s dining room for breakfast, lunch and dinner. No need to any longer have our meals delivered to our apartments. We again will be able to sit with old friends and new friends after months of imposed social distencing.

I am at the point in my life where I need few material things but do find that social interaction Is one of the keys to a happy existance. Over the many months of isolation

a few good friends have moved away and in a community like ours that provides residences for the elderly, some friends have passed on and I miss them.

We have remained isolated due to the Covid epidemic but now that most of us have received our vacinations and our community is infection free we are free to spend time with each other. I am even going to be able to bring my wife over from her special care residence for us to enjoy an occasional maeal together.

So my friends I hope you ebjoy today’s new normal as much as I will. Here is a poem to remind us that we are in this together;

On The Way To Where You Want To Go

I’m on the way to where you want to go.

Taking just any road will get you there.

Stop in for a visit to say hello.

Cruisin’ along just to feel the air flow,

You’re moving on your way to the nowhere.

I’m on the way to where you want to go.

Speeding though the small town’s yellowish glow,

With fraying nerves and emotions layed bare.

Stop in for a visit to say hello.

It’s easy to move with no one in tow,

But being all alone begins to wear.

I’m on the way to where you want to go.

When you have arrived will it end your woe?

Is the way lonely, an expensive fare?

Stop in for a visit to say hello.

Against the flow is a hard way to row.

Best not alone; it’s better as a pair.

I’m on the way to where you want to go,

Stop in for a visit to say hello.

MD Johnson

~~~

Odd how much it hurts when a friend moves away — and leaves behind only silence.

Aristotle

~~~

Something to think about

“Grandpa, grownups don’t pay any attention to me,” said little Jimmy. Grandpa replied, “They don’t pay any attention to me too.”

“Grandpa, sometimes grownups make fun of me. Do they make fun of you too?”

Grandpa said, “Yes, Son… me too.”

“Grandpa, some days I get tired and have to rest in the afternoon.”

“I know, Jimmy… I do too,” said Grandpa.

“I love you, Grandpa,” said little Jimmy.

“I love you too, Jimmy,” said Grandpa.

“I wish more people told me that,” said Jimmy.

“Me too,” answered Grandpa.

~~~

“Osborne’s Law”

Variables won’t; constants aren’t.

~~~

Morris needs a lawyer, so he grabs the yellow pages and picks out a law firm — Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz & Schwartz.

He calls up and says, “Is Mr. Schwartz in?”

The man says, “No, he’s out playing golf.”

Morris says, “All right, then let me speak to Mr. Schwartz.”

“He’s not with the firm any more, he’s retired.”

“Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz.”

“He’s away in Boston, won’t be back for a month.”

“Okay, then let me talk to the other Mr. Schwartz.”

He says, “Speaking!”

~~~

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

~~~

The kid said don’t get me sick: When you go home, you have to stay all alone. You have to stay in bed and not get fed. You miss out on all the fun that’s it, you’re done. So when you sneeze cover your mouth please!!!

Madison F. age 9

~~~

WHY MEN AREN’T SECRETARIES

Husband’s note to his wife…”Doctor’s office called: Said Pabst beer is normal.”

~~~

An English professor announced to the class; “There are two words I don’t allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool.”

From the back of the room a voice called out, “So, what are the words?

~~~

Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence, or learning.

Frederick W. Faber

~~~

When I picked up my Ford Escort at the service station after some minor repairs, I paid by check as usual. A couple of weeks later I came home from work to find my wife quite upset. She gave me the silent treatment until I figured out why she was so angry. She had noticed the canceled check, and on the memo line I had written “Escort Service.”

~~~

What more can you ask God for, if you have already been gifted a good friend? True friends are difficult to find. Friendship is a flower that needs to be nurtured. Over a period of time, friendship blossoms and makes your life fragrant with love and energy. And should you need a shoulder to lean on, friendship provides you with a strong one.

Simran Khurana

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Mean what you say

Ray’s Daily

February 26, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

We have too many high sounding words and too few actions that correspond with them.

Abigail Adams

Ray’s Daily first published on April 26, 2005

~~~

Abigail said this centuries ago, however it has only been lately that I have noticed how prevalent the problem has become. To me it is almost as if we have adopted George Orwell’s Newspeak as our primary language. I remember when commitment meant an obligation, today I find it just as often means something like “I definitely will do it” leaving out the part about “If I have nothing better to do.” Too many times we have to get more volunteers than we need since we know many will not honor their commitment. It is the same thing with the word prompt, it use to mean something like punctual, today it just as often means sometime that same day.

The sad part is that it seems too many of us have accepted the fact that words have lost their precision. Many of us just accept the fact that people may or may not mean what they say. It is almost as if the politicians and others who look us straight in the eye and say “everything is fine” often enough have conditioned us to believe what is said not caring excessively about accuracy.

I wish I was wrong. I wish people would do as they say, honor their commitments, and return to integrity. What ever happened to “My word is my bond,” “You can take what I say to the bank,” and “You can count on me”? Honesty, commitment, and reliability all take work, work that is an investment in ourselves, others, and the world around us. So let’s start a Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say movement and let us stamp out Newspeak wherever we find it.

Of course I don’t mean you, and I don’t mean me, I mean that other guy behind the tree.

~~~

Our major obligation is not to mistake slogans for solutions.

Edward R. Murrow

~~~

A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and pulled over to see whether he could help.

The man had a very red face, and a dark smear across it where he’d wiped off sweat with dirty hands. His tie was undone and his shirt collar askew, and it was clear he had also wiped his hands on his once-white shirt.

Close to him stood an immaculately neat woman who was speaking in quick, agitated tones.

“Hello, there,” said the motorist. “Say, I’ve changed a lot of tires ….. maybe I can help here.”

“You sure can,” the man with the flat tire replied wearily. “My wife is an expert, too. If you will just do all the arguing with her about how this tire ought to be changed, I will concentrate on the dirty work and get the job done.”

~~~

“I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention.”

Diane Sawyer

~~~

GOD’S THOUGHTS ON LAWNS

GOD:  Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on that planet Earth?  What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago?  I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon.  The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds.  I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now.  But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, LORD. The Suburbanites.  They started calling your flowers “weeds” and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass?  But it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It doesn’t attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms.  It’s sensitive to temperatures.  Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, LORD. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green.  They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, LORD. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it — sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it?  Do they then bail it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, LORD.  Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it?  Why?  Is it a cash crop?  Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir.  Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow.  And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren’t going to believe this LORD. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense.  At least they kept some of the trees.  That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.  The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.  In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes.  Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil.  It’s a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, LORD. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle.  As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No.  What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough.  I don’t want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts.  What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: ‘Dumb and Dumber,’ Lord.  It’s a real stupid movie about….

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St Francis.

~~~

It is terrible to grow old alone – my wife has not had a birthday in ten years.

~~~

Perhaps you’ve heard of the man who thought he was dead, when in reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the man he was still alive. Nothing seemed to work. Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show the patient that dead men don’t bleed. After hours of tedious study, the patient seemed convinced that dead men don’t bleed.

“Do you now agree that dead men don’t bleed?” the doctor asked.

“Yes, I do,” the patient replied.

“Very well, then,” the doctor said.

He took out a pin and pricked the patient’s finger. Out came a trickle of blood.

The doctor asked, “What does that tell you?”

“Oh my goodness!” the patient exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger……. “Dead men do bleed!!”

~~~

She said, there are easier things in life than finding a good man…like nailing Jello to a tree, for instance.

~~~

She also said: I was on vacation in Las Vegas, playing the slot machines.

It was my first time in a casino, and I wasn’t sure how any of the machines operated.

“Excuse me.” I said to a casino employee.  “How does this work?”

The worker showed me how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle.

“And where does the money come out?” I asked.

He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, “Usually at the ATM.”

~~~

The ingredients of happiness are so simple that they can be counted on one hand.

Happiness comes from within, and rests most securely on simple goodness and clear conscience.

William Ogden

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Be who you want to be

Ray’s Daily

February 25, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Life is short, and it is up to you to make it sweet.”

Sarah Louise Delany

I sometimes wonder if me and others have become so set in our ways that we forget to make sure we are who we want to be. I know I enjoy the folks who seem to always be working on making sure each of their days are as rewarding as possible.

I think the best way we can keep ourselves from slipping into the doldrums is to decide we are going to regularly strive to be the kind of person we would like to be. We just need to pay attention to what we do and how well we are doing it. It dosen’t hurt to take inventory once in awhile to make sure that we are not missing the opportunity to be all we can be. I believe the following article provides us items that should be on our personal checklist.

Recipe for forever

Gather all of the ingredients together, so that they are close at hand! Get a clean cloth and wipe the bowl clean of any lingering dust from the past.

Take maturity, respect and friendship, and stir gently.

Add unlimited amounts of compassion and kindness, and mix well.

To this, add caring by the handfuls and fold in trust.

Continue stirring gently, adding listening, honesty, and large amounts of communication.

Slip in some dreams, goals, and firm pieces of keeping promises.

Bake in a home filled with peace, beauty and serenity.

Before you taste the finished product, sprinkle liberally with patience, love, and a touch of spice.

Serve very hot, with imagination on the side.

Author Unknown

~~~

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

Maya Angelou

~~~

She said that:

  • Men: know what they want to be doing five years down the road. Guys: are not sure what they want to be doing later tonight.
  • Men: read Crichton, watch Rather, play golf. Guys: read King, play poker.
  • Men: wear ties with stripes, shirts with buttons, and shoes with laces. Guys: wear high school T-shirts they’ve actually owned since high school.
  • Men: think perfume (yours) is a turn-on. Guys: think sweat (theirs) is a turn-on.
  • Men: balance their checkbooks. Guys: balance their loans so that they never hit up the same buddy twice in a row.
  • Men: claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors, driving, and paying for dinner. Guys: claim to be feminists so they can let YOU open doors, drive, and pay for dinner.
  • Men: are afraid of becoming their fathers. Guys: are afraid of becoming men.
  • Men: put you on the phone when their mothers call. Guys: pretend you’re not there when their moms call.
  • Men: start their own businesses. Guys: quit their jobs.
  • Men: order wine based on more than the price. Guys: bring their own beer.

~~~

I’m Destined for Greatness — I’m Just Pacing Myself

~~~

One of the Docs tells us:

During my surgical residency I was called out of a sound sleep to the emergency room.  Unshaven and with tousled hair, I showed up with an equally unpresentable medical student.  In the ER we encountered the on-call medical resident and his student, both neatly attired in clean white lab coats.  The resident said to his student, “You can always tell the surgeons by their absolute disregard for appearance.”

Two evenings later, I was at a banquet when called to the ER to suture a minor laceration.  I was stitching away – wearing a tuxedo – when I encountered that same medical resident.  He looked at me, then said to his student, “Sure is sensitive to criticism, isn’t he?”

~~~

“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The green, green grass of home.'”

“That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.”

“Is it common?”

“It’s not unusual.”

~~~

It was such a small town that we didn’t even have a village idiot.  We had to take turns.

~~~

A elderly man from Minsk was having trouble getting on the train to Pinsk.  His arms held at right angles to his body.  The hands extending in front of him were separated by several inches of air.

Moishele, also traveling to Pinsk, helped the man on the train and kept an eye on him throughout the journey. The hands never moved, and on helping the man out of the carriage Moishele couldn’t resist asking what ailment the man must have for his arms being so rigid.

“Oh, nothing is wrong my boy.  My wife wants a pair of shoes and this is her size.”

~~~

He said:  “My wife thinks I put football before marriage, even though we just celebrated our third season together.”

~~~

The teacher said, “Now class, we know their are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so who can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?”

All the kids looked baffled by the question except Little Johnny, who raised his hand and waved it excitedly.  The teacher said, “Johnny, how many seconds are there in a year?”

Little Johnny said, “Twelve . . . January second, February second, March second . . .”

~~~

I wouldn’t touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole!

~~~

Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago.

“The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.,” a ticket agent said, “and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m.”

“Would you repeat that, please?” Bob asked.

The agent did so and then inquired, “Do you want a reservation?”

“No,” said Bob, “But I think I’ll hang around and watch that thing take off.”

~~~

“Life doesn’t require that we be the best, only that we try our best.”

H. Jackson Brown Jr.

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Have a Good Life

Ray’s Daily

February 24, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Let us not bankrupt our todays by paying interest on the regrets of yesterday and by borrowing in advance the troubles of tomorrow.

Ralph W. Sockman

Life can be a challenge, especially these days. It is important that we don’t let the little things bother us. It helps if we look around us and find there is so much to appreciate.

Here is an abridged article that offers us the value of keeping things in perspective.

How Wonder Can Help You Overcome Worry

It can help put everything else in perspective.

By Whitney Hopler

This world is full of situations that can trigger worry – falling ill, losing a job, navigating conflict in a relationship, and much more. Yet you can develop the strength within you to overcome worrying about the stressful circumstances around you. Pursuing wonder can prevent your life from shrinking down to the level of circumstances that make you feel anxious. When you encounter wonder and feel awe, you gain a greater perspective on your circumstances that can empower you to overcome anxiety. Here’s how wonder can help you overcome worry:

Wonder Can Shift Your Perspective – Discovering and enjoying the wonder around you lifts your perspective beyond your concerns to the positive possibilities that exist for you. Wonder can help you stop worrying about what scares you and start hoping and working for the best in your circumstances.

Rather than worrying when you feel afraid, choose to pursue wonder instead. Do something that sparks awe in your soul. Go outside to stargaze, take a wonder walk, pray or meditate, laugh with a loved one, enjoy music, savor a meal, etc. The possibilities for experiencing wonder are endless. The key is to intentionally search for wonder. By moving forward toward wonder with purpose, you’re training your mind to become more aware of it.

Wonder Can Inspire You to Find Peace – Whenever someone or something triggers worry in you, choose to pray or meditate about that worrisome thought instead of wallowing in it. Intentionally release the anxiety you feel and pray for the help you need to navigate your circumstances well.

Wonder inspires you to look beyond your circumstances to a greater source of hope – and as you do, you’ll gain a sense of peace that will eclipse your worries.

Worry isn’t worth your time and energy. You can stop worrying and start enjoying peace by searching for the wonder around you. Once you start the habit of pursuing wonder, you’ll discover it – along with the strength to help you overcome worry.

~~~

Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious.

Stephen Hawking

~~~

Makes sense?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweet meats are candies while sweet breads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

~~~

“If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist,

it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.”

Bill Vaughan

~~~

An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections. At noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. “What are those drums?” asked the anthropologist, knowing he was in cannibal country.

The guide turned to him and said “No worry. Drums OK, but very bad when they stop. “They both went ghostly pale when the drums suddenly stopped. The guide crouched in the belly of the canoe and covered his ears. “Do as I do! Very important!”” intoned the guide with great urgency.

“Why? What does this mean?” asked the panicked anthropologist. “Drums stop! Next come guitar solo!”

~~~

“The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.”

Mark Twain

~~~

Ways to Tell If You Have PMS

* Everyone around you has an attitude problem.  

* You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.  

* The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.  

* Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.  

* You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, “How’s my driving- call 1-800-###-####.  

* Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting practice.  

* Inanimate objects get on your nerves.  

* You’re counting down the days until menopause.  

* You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.  

* The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.  

* You dump the pretzels out of the bag, and eat the salt. While simultaneously eating a gallon of ice cream.  

* You cry at commercials one minute, and contemplate assault the next.  

~~~

Change is inevitable — except from vending machines.

~~~

Tourists picked up a 9 year old boy walking along a dirt road, soaked to the skin and very cold. “How did this happen,” they asked.

“Well every night my old man drives me down to the lake and rows out to the middle and throws me in. I have to swim to shore and walk all the way home.”

“That’s got to be hard on a little fellow like you.”

“Nah”, he says, “gettin’ outta the bag is the hard part.”

~~~

“Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, “Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.”

Lillian Carter

~~~

A young scholar from New York was invited to become Rabbi in a small old community in Chicago. On his very first Shabbat, a hot debate erupted as to whether one should or should not stand during the reading of the Ten Commandments.

The next day, the rabbi visited 98 year-old Mr. Katz in the nursing home. “Mr. Katz, I’m asking you as the oldest member of the community,” said the rabbi, “what is our synagogue’s custom during the reading of the Ten Commandments?”

“Why do you ask?” asked Mr. Katz.

“Yesterday we read the Ten Commandments. Some people stood, some people sat. The ones standing started screaming at the ones sitting, telling them to stand up. The ones sitting started screaming at the ones standing, telling them to sit down… “

“That,” said the old man, “is our custom.”

~~~

Good habits, which bring our lower passions and appetites under automatic control, leave our natures free to explore the larger experiences of life. Too many of us divide and dissipate our energies in debating actions which should be taken for granted.

Ralph W. Sockman

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Are you serene?

Ray’s Daily

February 23, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.

Gautama Buddha

I have a friend who I really like who provides support to my fellow elderly residents. She has a good heart who morns the loss of the friends she has made when they pass on. Unfortunately in the world we live in the loss of others is a somewhat common experience.

I, too morn the loss of those who have offered their friendship. I also sometimes struggle with my feeling for those who have become ill and infirm. I have found that if I am to find peace in my life I must learn to live with its reality. I am glad that I seem to have learned that acceptance of what we can’t control has provided me with the ability to stay upbeat.

As  outlined in the article below, serenity is something we all should have as our goal

Serenity

Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.

A person becomes calm in the measure that one understands themselves as a thought evolved being, for such knowledge necessitates the understanding of others as the result of thought, and as one develops a right understanding, and sees more and more clearly the internal relations of things by the action of cause and effect, one ceases to fuss and fume and worry and grieve, and remains poised, steadfast, serene.

The calm person, having learned how to govern themselves, knows how to adapt themselves to others; and they, in turn, reverence their spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of them and rely upon them. The more tranquil a person becomes, the greater is their success, their influence, their power for good. Even the ordinary trader will find their business prosperity increase as one develops a greater self control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a person whose demeanor is strongly equable.

The strong, calm person is always loved and revered. They are like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm. That exquisite poise of character which we call serenity is the last lesson of culture; it is the flowering of life, the fruitage of the soul. It is precious as wisdom, more to be desired than gold, than even fine gold. How insignificant mere money seeking looks in comparison with a serene life – a life that dwells in the ocean of truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of tempests, in the eternal calm!

How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood! It is a question whether the great majority of people do not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control flow few people we meet in life who are well-balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character!

Written by James Allen

~~~

If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.

Marvin Gaye

~~~

The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians: (maybe even yours?)

~ By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better.

~ On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

~ The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

~ Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

~ Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

~ The patient refused an autopsy.

~ The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

~ The patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

~ She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

~ The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

~ She is numb from the toes down.

~ The skin was moist and dry.

~ When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the floor.

~~~

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity.

The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Winston Churchill

~~~

This Marine drill instructor, completely frazzled by the ineptitude of his recruits, burst into a blue streak of swearing hot enough to blister paint.  He broke off suddenly when he noticed one of the recruits had been talking in ranks.

“WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID, RECRUIT??” the drill sergeant hollered.

In a quivering voice, the recruit replied, “I said, to myself, Drill Sergeant Sir, ‘if that sucker thinks I’m going to stand here and take his mess . . . well, he’s certainly an uncanny judge of character.”

~~~

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.

Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

“Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But, you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”

During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”

At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star Spangled Banner.”

And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

~~~

Esther: “You’ll be sorry – I’m going to leave you.

Milton: “Make up your mind – which one is it going to be?”

~~~

A little girl from Minneapolis came home from Sunday school with a frown on her face. “I’m not going back there anymore,” she announced with finality. “I don’t like the Bible they keep teaching us.” “Why not?” asked her astonished mother. “Because,” said the little girl, “that Bible is always talking about St. Paul, and it never once mentions Minneapolis.”

~~~

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

~~~

Dear Sir,

Since taking your body building course, I now have a 44 inch chest, a 32 inch waist, 17 inch biceps and an 18 inch neck. I feel absolutely marvellous but at the same time, I do feel that my chances of marriage are spoiled.

Yours faithfully,

Mary Goldberg

~~~

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.

Reinhold Niebuhr

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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