Ray's musings and humor

Archive for July, 2022

Be Wise

Ray’s Daily

July 29, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Clear thinking requires courage rather than intelligence.”

Thomas Szasz

Life is not always easy but we can deal with the challenges we face. All of us have the latent ability to overcome adversity all we need to do is unleash our inner strength. Here are some quotes offered by Angel Chernoff that can help.

5 Quotes that Will Change How You Think and Handle Tough Situations

1. Taking a step back to gracefully walk away from situations that threaten your peace of mind, values, morals, or self-worth, is almost always a healthy and necessary step forward.

2. Distancing yourself from someone who keeps giving you negative vibes or unhealthy energy is self-care. Stepping back from situations where you feel unappreciated or disrespected is self-care. Choose to honor your feelings and boundaries, respectfully.

3. Trust the journey of your life, and you will gradually outgrow what you thought you couldn’t live without, and fall in love with what you didn’t even know you wanted.

4. Remember, peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no chaos, trouble, or hard realities to deal with. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still remain mentally, emotionally, and physically centered.

5. The latest research suggests that it takes roughly 66 days to form a new habit. So for the next nine weeks, wake up every morning and look at the right side, or perhaps the bright side, of your life and you will rewire your brain.

The bottom line is, despite the real world challenges you face, the biggest and most complex obstacle you will have to personally overcome on a daily basis is your own mind and reactions…

YES, YOU CAN THINK BETTER, which means you can tap into your inner strength and ultimately live better, one day at a time.

Truth be told, life will get better when YOU get better. Start investing in yourself mentally and physically. Make it a priority to learn and grow a little bit every day. The stronger you grow and become, the better your life will feel in the long run.

~~~

“What we think, we become.”

Buddha

~~~

“Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market.”

“Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically,” remarked his friend.

“I’m not bitter. Now that I’m so improved, she just isn’t good enough for me.”

~~~

Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Don’s paper.

Little Johnny: I hope you didn’t either.

~~~

I knew as early as our wedding what marriage to my wife would be like. The priest asked my wife, “Do you take this man to be your husband.” And she said, “I do.”

Then the priest asked me, “Do you take this woman to be your wife,” and my wife said, “He does.”

~~~

Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

~~~

Will Rogers said:

1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

2. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

3. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

4. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

5. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

6. I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

7. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

8. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

9. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

10. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

And finally, If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.

~~~

There’s always at least one bolt on anything that’s adjustable. It fits whatever size wrench you don’t have.

~~~

A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, “I hate all the blonde jokes people tell.” “Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I’ll prove it to you.” They went outside and hailed a taxi driver. “Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I’m home,” said the brunette. The taxi drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, “See! That guy was really stupid.”

“No kidding,” replied the blonde. “There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead.”

~~~

The most damaging phrase in the language is: It’s always been done that way.

Grace Hopper

~~~

A young man from a prominent family was being divorced by his glamorous wife. His lawyer called with news about the property settlement. “The good news is that she isn’t asking for any share of your future inheritance.”

“Great!” said the young man. “What’s the bad news?”

“Well,” said the lawyer, “after the divorce, she’s marrying your father!”

~~~

“A man who as a physical being is always turned toward the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him, finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him.”

Soren Kierkegaard

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Avoid Ego Trips

Ray’s Daily

July 28, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Ego trip: a journey to nowhere.

Robert Half

Before I start what will be a busy day I thought I would share with you the value of setting our ego aside while we concentrate on enjoying our lives.  I think too many of us let our desire to win keep us from appreciating all we have already won. Here is a piece from the internet that I have abridged that offers what may be the secret of achieving more happiness.

5 Ways For Getting Rid Of Ego

Before we can discuss how to get rid of ego, it is necessary to understand what is meant by ego.  Put very simply, ego is the sum of all the beliefs and experiences that combine to define the way a person leads their life.

We can see our ego as a little internal voice that speaks to us of fear, anxiety, and judgment – both of ourselves and others.  The nagging doubts that your ego presents to you can hold you back, making you fearful for the future, doubting your ability to do anything at all, and giving you a feeling of inadequacy.

Here are five ways that will show you how to get rid of ego.

1.  Avoid being offended. – Do not allow your ego to whisper destructive thoughts to you as you go through life.  Being constantly offended by the small things that we encounter every day takes your attention away from the bigger picture.

2.  Lose the need to win and to be always right. – Being urged on by your ego to be right and to win in every situation is destructive.  The need to be right every time leads to unpopularity and others having a negative view of you.  This will hold you back when you need the help and co-operation of others to achieve your goals.

3.  Stop feeling superior. – You will soon alienate others if you adopt an attitude of superiority.  This will lead to you being resented and eventually ignored.  Life is much less enjoyable when you are an outsider.

4.  Lose the need for more.  – Do not give in to your ego’s need for more.  Lead a simpler life, and you will find it brings greater contentment and a feeling of achievement.  The pressure will be off you, and you will progress far more easily towards your goal.

5.  Stop coveting accomplishments. – Just as losing the need for more is a desirable aim, so is losing the need for accomplishments.  It is the need that is destructive, as having an over-riding need for something puts unnecessary pressure on you.  Taking away that pressure will make achieving a goal a pleasurable activity.  You will be happier and more likely to make meaningful progress.

Conclusion

Getting rid of your ego, therefore, is something that you can achieve by altering your approach to life.  Lead a simpler, calmer, less demanding life, with less pressure on yourself to perform, and you will find that you now face less of a struggle.

~~~

An egotist is not a man who thinks too much of himself; he is a man who thinks too little of other people.

Joseph Fort Newton

~~~

The top ten reasons men should join the church choir

10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. Which means that for those few hours, you will significantly reduce your risk of contracting tendonitis from non-stop operation of a television remote control or computer mouse.

9. Because you wear a choir robe every Sunday, you are liberated from a task many men find quite challenging: finding clothes that match properly.

8. From your special vantage point every Sunday, in which you look out at the entire congregation from the choir seats, you will develop interesting new hobbies. Among these is a little guessing game called “Who’s Praying, Who’s Sleeping?”

7. On the other hand, sitting in full view of 400 500 people on a weekly basis makes it much less likely that you yourself will give in to a chronic lack of sleep. Although it has been known to happen.

6. If you think your singing in the shower sounds good now, just wait till you’ve been singing with us for a few weeks.

5. Singing in a choir is one of the few activities for men that does not require electronics equipment or expensive power tools. This could be good for the family budget.

4. For the fitness buffs, singing in the Choir is not only heart healthy, it’s soul healthy. But there are no monthly membership fees, and it’s a lot easier on the knees than jogging.

3. If you think you’ve done everything there is to do, and there are no great challenges left in life, try singing with us guys and staying on pitch.

2. Choir rehearsal lasts half as long as a professional football game, but is at least twice as satisfying. This is especially true if you are a long-suffering fan of the Bengals or Colts.

And the number 1 reason men should join the choir:

1. When people ask you whether you’ve been behaving yourself,  you can say with the utmost sincerity, “Hey, I’m a Choir Boy.”

~~~

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?

Customer: What other colors do you have?

~~~

Hints From Helga

Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.

Cobwebs: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim, “What? And spoil the mood?”

Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children.

Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl, and say, “I’d love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive.”

Dusting: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist “This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes…”

Painting: Don’t bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, “Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident…I haven’t had the heart to clean it…”

General Cleaning: Mix one-quart cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cup soft water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh: “I clean and I clean and I still don’t get anywhere…”

~~~

Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love.

St. Francis of Assisi

~~~

There was a university in New England where the students operated a “bank” of term papers and other homework assignments.

There were papers to suit all needs and as it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade and C grade.

A student, who had spent the weekend on pursuits other than his assignment, went to the “bank” and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for an inconspicuous C, retyped it and handed the work in.

In due course he received it back with the professor’s comments “I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it should have had an A, and now I am glad to give it one!”

~~~

No one has learned the meaning of life until he has surrendered his ego to the service of his fellow men.

Beran Wolfe

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Where are you going?

Ray’s Daily

July 27, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“When the path reveals itself, follow it.”

Cheryl Strayed.

Reprint of Ray’s Daily published on July 27, 2004

Many of us follow in the foot step of others, while others of us follow the path less traveled. They are the ones that break the new ground, and whose lives are often filled with adventure and rewards. Each of our lives is filled with opportunity after opportunity to take the road less traveled.

We get to choose if we are going to do the same thing day after day, month after month, year after year as we follow either in the footsteps of others or on the path we have always traveled. While there may be no risk or challenge, I can almost guarantee there will be little discovery or new found pleasure. It is as Robert Frost said when he wrote:

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long as I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth,

Then took the other as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim;

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet, knowing how way leads onto way I doubted

if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh,

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

~~~

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Congratulations! You have just successfully unsubscribed yourself, we are going to miss you! If you feel you have unsubscribed yourself in error, just follow the above instructions backwards, and you will once again be a part of our friendly daily family. No questions asked. Have a nice day now!

~~~

True bravery is, arriving home after a night on the town and being assaulted, by your wife, with a broom, and still having the guts to ask “Are you still cleaning or are you going somewhere ?”

~~~

A woman goes to the police station to report that her husband was missing.

“Can you give me a description of him?” asked the officer.

“He’s short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears dentures,” answered the woman.  “Come to think of it, most of him was missing before he was.”

~~~

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

Ingrid Bergman

~~~

Two very reform Jews from the big city were traveling in Florida where on Shabbos they found an orthodox shul in a small town where they could attend services.

The shul Rebbe, seeing strangers at the entrance, greeted the two strangers and asked where they would like to sit.

Looking somewhat confused, one out-of-towner smiled and said, “Non-smoking please.”

~~~

The future is not what it used to be.

~~~

She said: As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I was wearing contemporary clothes instead of my habit, I drove into a gas station to get the communal car filled up.

After the young attendant topped off the tank, he walked toward my car window to return my credit card.  It was clear from his furrowed brow that he had something on his mind.  The young man looked at me shyly and pointed to the convent’s name, John XXIII Hall, imprinted on the card.

“Pardon me,” he asked hesitantly, “but how do you pronounce your husband’s middle name?”

~~~

A young minister, sitting down to dinner was about to say grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers.

“I don’t know,” he said dubiously. “It seems to me that we’ve blessed all this stuff before.”

~~~

The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.

~~~

“I was relaxing in my favorite chair on Sunday,” said Doug to Bill, “reading the newspaper, watching a ball game on TV and listening to another on the radio, drinking a beer, eating a snack, and scratching the dog with my foot — and my wife has the nerve to accuse me of just sitting there doing nothing !”

~~~

Happiness comes when we stop wailing about the troubles we have, and offer thanks for all the troubles we don’t have.

Author unknown

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

There is always hope

Ray’s Daily

July 26, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever.”

Roy T. Bennett

We are never sure what tomorrow will bring but we do know we can always hope for the best. It is hope that keeps many of us going. Hopelessness is never the answer, so my friends I hope your tomorrows will be all you want them to be.

Then you still have hope

If you can look at the sunset and smile, and find beauty in the colours of a small flower, then you still have hope.

If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly, and if the smile of a child can still warm your heart, then you still have hope.

If you can see the good in other people, and if the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep, then you still have hope.

If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder, and if the soft fur of a favoured pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips, then you still have hope.

If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, and if you give people the benefit of the doubt, then you still have hope.

If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life, and if receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise, then you still have hope.

If the suffering of others still fills you with pain and frustration, and if you refuse to let a friendship die, or accept that it must end, then you still have hope.

If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection, and if you still watch love stories or want the endings to be happy, then you still have hope.

If you can look to the past and smile, and when faced with the bad, when told everything is futile, you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase … ‘yes, but ….’ Then you still have hope.

Hope is such a marvellous thing. It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides, but rarely does it break. It sustains us when nothing else can. It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead, when we tell ourselves we’d rather give in.

Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage. Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it. Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction.

Hope is a wonderful thing, something to be cherished and nurtured and something that will refresh us in return. It can be found in each of us and it can bring light into the darkest of places. So never lose hope.

Author Unknown

~~~

“Every cloud has a silver lining.”

John Milson

~~~

A woman whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds – and girth – was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership. When the salesman’s pitch had run its course, he sought to close with the typical line, “Now what would it take to get you into one of these?”

Looking at the Jeep’s high front seat, the woman replied, “Probably a crowbar.”

~~~

Just living is not enough… One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.

Hans Christian Anderson

~~~

Alan King was one of my all time favorite comedians, he passed some time ago but his humor lives on.

·        On Banks: “Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?”

·        On Jewish Mothers: “What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? Eventually the Rottweiler lets go.”

·        On his parent’s Russian roots: King took his mother, Minnie, to see “Fiddler on the Roof,” thinking the fictitious village of Anatevka might bring back memories of her own childhood village. “And when the show was over and we were back on the street,” Mr. King wrote in his autobiography ‘Name-Dropping: The Life and Lies of Alan King’, “I said, ‘Ma, how did you enjoy it? Did it bring back memories?'” “‘It was wonderful,’ she said. ‘Only I don’t remember so much singing.’ “

·        On meeting royalty: Following a performance for the British Royal Family, he was introduced to Queen Elizabeth. “How do you do, Mr. King?” she is reported to have said. “How do you do, Mrs. Queen?” he is said to have replied.

·        On Love and Marriage: “If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books”

·        On Gifts for the Wife: King told of a Jewish man asking his wife if she would like diamond jewelry, a new car or a trip for their anniversary. She responded that she wanted a divorce. “Oy vey,” the man replied. “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”

~~~

I’ll drive you crazy, but you’re paying for gas.

~~~

Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year — “62-63,” “63-64,” “64-65,” etc.

One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, “Isn’t it strange how the teams always lost by one point?”

~~~

“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”

Henry Youngman

~~~

When her late husband’s will was read, a widow learned he had left the bulk of his fortune to another woman. Enraged, she rushed to change the inscription on her spouse’s tombstone.

“Sorry, lady,” said the stonecutter. “I inscribed ‘Rest in Peace’ on your orders. I can’t change it now.”

“Very well,” she said grimly. “Just add, ‘Until We Meet Again.’ “

~~~

“Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”

Laini Taylor

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Let’s have a good week

Ray’s Daily

July 25, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Put all excuses aside and remember this—you are capable.”

Zig Ziglar

Here we go another week. Let’s you and I make it a good one. I am going to concentrate on what I can do, you can too. When we think we can’t we surly won’t. So I will avoid the negative and stay positive.

Need help? Try these tips.

10 ENCOURAGING MESSAGES TO STAY POSITIVE

1) Mondays are a great day to focus on what we GET TO do instead of what we HAVE TO do. Life is a gift, not an obligation.

2) Three things you control every day are your ATTITUDE, your EFFORT and your ACTIONS. It doesn’t matter what others are doing or who you think is being unfair. Every day you can focus on being positive, working hard and making others around you better.

3) SUCCESS is often measured by comparison to others. EXCELLENCE, on the other hand, is all about being the best we can be and maximizing our gifts, talents and abilities to perform at our highest potential. Pursue excellence today.

4) Failure is not meant to define you. It’s meant to refine you to be all you are meant to be. Don’t let your failures be a part of your identity. Move forward and create your future.

5) Don’t let negativity win today. Remember it starts with you. If you are complaining you’re not leading. If you are leading you’re not complaining. One person can’t make a team but one person can break a team. Stay positive! No energy vampires allowed.

6) One person in pursuit of excellence raises the standards of everyone around them. And as they strive for greatness they bring out the greatness in others. Be that one person today.

7) If they praise you, show up and do the work. If they criticize you, show up and do the work. If no one even notices you, just show up and do the work. Just keep showing up, doing the work, and leading the way.

8) Where there is a void, Negativity will fill it. Fill the void with positive, proactive communication and you’ll help neutralize the negativity before it starts. This applies at home, at work and every relationship in your life.

9) Expect to Win Today. Champions expect success and their positive beliefs often lead to positive actions and outcomes. They win in their mind first.

10) Remember Your WHY! We don’t get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it.

Jon Gordon

~~~

“Decide what you want, believe you can have it, believe you deserve it and believe it’s possible for you.”

Jack Canfield

~~~

“You Know You’re a Redneck If…”

1. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

2. If the biggest city you’ve ever been to is Walmart.

3. If your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

4. If you thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.

5. If you’ve ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.

6. If you think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

7. If your neighbors think you’re a detective because a Deputy always brings you home.

8. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 dollars worth of improvement.

9. If you’ve ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

10. If you’ve ever asked the preacher, “Hows it hangin”.

11. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

12. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 80mph.

13. If somebody tells you that you’ve got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.

14. If breakfast consist of boiled eggs, can of Beenie Weenies& a couple salt’in crackers and a 6 pack of Budweiser, because you like the smell it creates after completing the digestive cycle.

15. If there are 13 dogs under the front porch and you have papers for one.

16. If a museum curator tries to buy 7 of the vehicles on blocks in your yard.

17. If your Momma knows how to make Roadkill stew.

18. If your truck has more colors than Jeff Gordons race car!

19. If you have ever been shot at by the law.

20. If you have ever been too drunk to walk, and drove home.

~~~

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

~~~

I came home one night and my wife was crying.  

I said, “what’s wrong?”  

She said, “I’m home sick.”  

I said, “This is your home.”  

And she said, “Yes, and I’m sick of it!”  

Tommy Cooper

~~~

Pride is something we have. Vanity is something others have.

~~~

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came Into the house and asked her, “Grandma, what is that called when two People are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?”

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. “It’s called sexual intercourse, darling.” Little Tony just said, “Oh, OK” and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, “Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It’s called Bunk Beds and Jimmy’s Mom wants to talk to you!!”

~~~

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman

~~~

My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.

When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, “I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath.”

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, “When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest.”

~~~

When you can’t have what you want, it’s time to start wanting what you have.

Author Unknown

~~~

Two Martians were cruising through the solar system when they suddenly got the urge to try some Earth food. They had no local currency so decided to steal some Mars bars from the local shop. They furtively slipped into the shop while the shopkeeper wasn’t looking, nabbed the bars and slipped back out again.

“Stop! You never paid for those!” shouted the shopkeeper.

The aliens dropped the bars and beamed back up to the mothership. Their mates were furious when they discovered they hasn’t brought any food back with them. “What?” they goggled, “You couldn’t even take a few Mars bars from a shop without getting caught? What happened?”

“I don’t know how the shopkeeper saw us,” said one of the unsuccessful shoplifters. “She must have had eyes in the front of her head!”

~~~

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities!”

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Be Happy

Ray’s Daily

July 22, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“You do not find the happy life. You make it.”

Thomas S. Monson

I plan on having a great weekend and I know you will as well. Two of my grandchildren are in town and I hope they stop by. Of course, the highlights are always the time I get to spend with my wife and my fellow residents.

Here are some thoughts sent our way by Angel Chernoff that reminds us that most of the good in our lives is up to us.

7 Notes to Self You Should Repeat to Yourself

1. “I will be too busy watering my own grass to notice if yours is greener.”

2. “I will stop focusing on how stressed I am and remember how blessed I am. Complaining won’t change my reality, but a positive attitude will.”

3. “I will remind myself that being positive does not mean ignoring the negative. Being positive means overcoming the negative. There’s a big difference between the two.”

4. “There’s also a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. And life is short. As often as possible, I will invest in the activities that move me.”

5. “I cannot control everything that happens; I can only control the way I respond to what happens. In my response is my power.”

6. “I will not get caught up in what could’ve been or should’ve been. I will look instead at the power and possibility of what is, right now.”

7. “When I find that I don’t have time for what matters, I will stop doing (and thinking about) things that don’t.”

The bottom line is, despite the real world challenges you face, the biggest and most complex obstacle you will have to personally overcome on a daily basis is your own mind. In other words, you aren’t responsible for everything negative that happens, but you ARE responsible for undoing the self-defeating thinking and behavioral patterns that these undesirable experiences create.

YES, YOU CAN THINK BETTER, which means you can tap into your inner strength and ultimately live better, one day at a time…

Truth be told, life will get better when YOU get better. Start investing in yourself mentally and physically. Make it a priority to learn and grow a little bit every day. The stronger you grow and become, the better your life will feel in the long run.

~~~

“Inspiration comes from within yourself. One has to be positive. When you’re positive, good things happen.”

Deep Roy

~~~

Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes.

Then Bill said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word.”

“Wow!” said Doug, “How do you manage that?”

“It’s easy,” replied Bill. “My last words are always ‘Yes, Dear.'”

~~~

If it’s not one thing, it’s twenty.

~~~

City Boy: Say, Dad, how many kinds of milk are there?

Father: Well, there’s evaporated milk, buttermilk, malted milk, and — but why do you wish to know?

City Boy: Oh, I’m drawing a picture of a cow, and I want to know how many *spigots* to put on her.

~~~

“No birth is an accident, no experience is without meaning, and no life is without value.”

Gary Zukav

~~~

A priest was given the job of hearing the confessions of an order of monks. The priest returned to his parish that night and complained to one of the nuns about how long each of the monks took to enumerate all of their sins.

“Oh Father,” said the nun. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

The priest replied, “Oh it was worse than you can imagine. It was like being stoned to death with popcorn.”

~~~

Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.

~~~

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher’s desk and said, “Miss Francis, I ain’t got no crayons.”

“Willie,” Miss Francis said, “you mean, “I don’t have any crayons.’ You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons. They don’t have any crayons. Do you see what I’m getting at?”

“Not really,” Willie said, “What happened to all them crayons?”

~~~

“I think Little League (baseball)  is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”

Yogi Berra

~~~

A minister decided to try something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, “Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross!”

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison “The Old Rugged Cross.”

The pastor hollered out, “Grace!” The congregation began to sing “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.”

The pastor said, “Power!” The congregation sang “There is Power in the Blood.”

The Pastor said, “Sex!”

The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, from the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing “Precious Memories.”

~~~

“Make your life matter and have fun doing it.”

Aaron Hurst

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Be Kind

Ray’s Daily

July 21, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.”

Steve Maraboli

I have come to really appreciate the folks who are always kind to those they meet. I am sure that the people I know who care for others have found happiness as a result of their warmth and regard for those around them.

Here is a story that reminded me that we all have opportunities to help those we meet.

The Secret of Happiness

The old man shuffled slowly into the restaurant. With head tilted and shoulders bent forward, he leaned on his trusty cane with each unhurried step.

His tattered cloth jacket, patched trousers, worn out shoes, and warm personality made him stand out from the usual Saturday morning breakfast crowd. Unforgettable were his pale blue eyes that sparkled like diamonds, large rosy cheeks, and thin lips held in a tight, steady smile.

He stopped, turned with his whole body, and winked at a little girl seated by the door. She flashed a big grin right back at him. A young waitress named Mary watched him shuffle toward a table by the window.

Mary ran over to him, and said, ‘Here, Sir . . . let me give you a hand with that chair.’

Without saying a word, he smiled and nodded a thank you. She pulled the chair away from the table. Steadying him with one arm, she helped him move in front of the chair, and get comfortably seated. Then she scooted the table up close to him, and leaned his cane against the table where he could reach it.

In a soft, clear voice he said, ‘Thank you, Miss . . .  and bless you for your kind gestures.’

‘You’re welcome, Sir.’ She replied.

‘And my name is Mary. I’ll be back in a moment and if you need anything at all in the mean time, just wave at me!’

After he had finished a hearty meal of pancakes, bacon and hot lemon tea, Mary brought him the change from his bill. He left it lay on the table. She helped him up from his chair and out from behind the table. She handed him his cane and walked with him to the front door.

Holding the door open for him, she said, ‘Come back and see us, Sir!’

He turned with his whole body, winked and smiled, then nodded a thank you. ‘You are very kind.’ he said softly.

When Mary went to clean his table, she almost fainted. Under his plate she found a business card and a note scribbled on a napkin. Under the napkin was a one hundred dollar bill.

The note on the napkin read . . . ‘Dear Mary, I respect you very much and I can see you respect yourself too. It shows by the way you treat others. You have found the secret of happiness. Your kind gestures will shine through to all those who meet you.’

The man she had waited on was the owner of the restaurant where she worked. This was the first time that she or any of his employees had ever seen him in person.

Written by Steve Brunkhorst

~~~

“You cannot do kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where…..

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

5. You know that ” dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California where…

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.

2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

You can Live in New York City where…

1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.

3. You think Central Park is “nature,”

4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

5. You’ve worn out a car horn.

6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where…

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where…

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. “y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.

3. “He needed killin'” is a valid defense.

4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean,

You can live in Colorado where…

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where…

1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different!”

AND You can live in Florida where..

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

~~~

Children need models rather than critics.

Joseph Joubert

~~~

Sam and Ruth from Maine had just bought a new car when winter hit with all its fury.

“I wonder if the car has seat warmers,” Ruth said.

“It sure does,” said Sam, looking through the owner’s manual. “Here it is: rear defrosters.”

~~~

The basic building block of good communication is the feeling that every human being is unique and of value.

~~~

The first graders were attending their first music lesson. The teacher was trying to start at the very beginning. She drew a musical staff on the blackboard and asked a little girl to come up and write a note on it.

The little girl went to the blackboard, looked thoughtful for a minute and wrote, “Dear Aunt Emma. Just a short note to tell you I’m fine.”

~~~

“I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I’ll put it before any of the things like courage or bravery or generosity or anything else.”

Roald Dahl.

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Things Change

Ray’s Daily

July 20, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

There are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes and change.

You can’t avoid change, it’s mandatory, progress however is optional.

Bill R. Good, Jr.

A Ray’s Daily reprint from July 20, 2006

 ~~~

I had lunch today with one of my favorite people. She had just returned from Israel where she attended a conference in preparation for a graduate class on Middle East conflict that she will teach in the fall. As often happens we worked on solving all the world’s problems and as always happens we didn’t. In the conversation I suggested that too many of us have become so distracted that we have forgotten what constitutes the good life, times in the past when we got along and overcame our differences so we could work together for the common good.

I think we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to not become so distracted that we lose sight of what we might do. I thought about that a little after lunch and decided to share with you something I put in a daily a few years back, here it is:

If you are like I am you sometimes wonder where your memory has gone. Fortunately for me I seem to be able to forget most of the bad things. Names of people I meet often return slowly, many times not until after they pass by. Even little things like standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open wondering why I am there is one of my life’s little adventures. But in the main, I like you, have many memories that I cherish, those that I can pull up in found remembrance of another time. Someone sent me the following awhile ago and I thought we could use the advice. It is our life; we might as well enjoy it. To paraphrase something a friend has often said, if you think you can’t, you won’t.

Do you remember the times when life seemed almost magical? Do you remember those days when you felt as if you were floating on air? Stop for a moment and fill yourself with those feelings of how very good, how very special life can be. Though the events may be distant in space and time, the positive feelings they bring can always be with you. Remember often how good life can be. For the more you remember, the more life you give to your best possibilities.

If you focus your attention on the worries, anxieties, conflicts and shortcomings, those are the things that will grow. Focus instead on how good life can be, and with every moment you’ll be making it better. Look up, rather than down, and you’ll see an infinitely bigger, more positive horizon. Celebrate life’s real and substantial goodness, and that goodness will come to dominate your reality. Take a moment, early and often, to remember how very good life can be. And make the goodness grow ever stronger.

If we don’t care and just look away, are we any different than those who have had responsibility for all the problems we face today?

~~~

Desire is half of life, indifference is half of death.

Kahlil Gibran

~~~

I lived in Chicago many years ago, we lived in a third floor apartment and had no garage so we had to park at the curb in front of our building. Sometimes the snow got really heavy, when it did my wife and my kids would shovel out a spot and guard it until I got home from work. It is in that memory that I share this big city tip.

This guy drives up to his house and where he parks is full of snow. So he parks in a nearby parking lot and walks back home to shovel out a car-sized space in front of his house. It takes hours to shovel, but finally done, he walks back to the lot to get his car. When he returns home, he finds that the space has been taken by some other car. He is, well, upset.  

What most people do is write nasty notes etc. and place them on the windshield of the offending vehicle. Police sometimes get involved however, when the individual vents his wrath in somewhat more violent means. Tires and throats have been slashed over this. This guy decides to get creative. Instead of doing the usual nasty, he got out his garden hose and watered the automobile down, real well. I mean, very, very thoroughly. The water of course froze solid. When the owner returned, instead of a car, he found a car-sized Popsicle.  

The note on the car read: “You want the space? Here, it’s yours until spring!”

~~~

Those who wish to sing, always find a song.

Swedish Proverb

~~~

He was a young Pastor, and as usual, he was running late getting into town…. and he was speeding.  

Then to top it off, he looked in the review mirror only to see the lights of the Highway Patrol!  Already late for church and figuring he’d try for leniency, he quickly slapped his Bible on the dash of his car as the trooper walked up to the window and asked to see his drivers license.  

Looking at his name and title on the license, the trooper asked, “You’re a Reverend huh?” The young Pastor affirmed that.  

The trooper then began writing out a speeding ticket and said, “Well, Reverend; your speedometer runneth over.”  

As the trooper handed him the ticket and started to walk away, his last comment was, “Oh, by the way…. the Bible on the dash…. nice touch.” 

~~~

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.”

Henny Youngman

~~~

If you need a laugh, read through these Children’s Science Exam Answers. These are real answers given by children.  

Q: Name the four seasons.   A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.   

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.   A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.  

Q: How is dew formed?   A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.  

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?   A: Keep it in the cow.  

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?   A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.  

Q: What are steroids?   A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.  

Q: What happens to your body as you age?   A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.  

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?   A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.  

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.   A: Premature death.  

Q: What is artificial insemination?   A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.  

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (ergo.,   abdomen.)   A: The body is consisted into three parts— the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.  

Q: What is the fibula?   A: A small lie.  

Q: What does “varicose” mean?   A: Nearby.  

Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section”   A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word “benign” mean?’   A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.  

~~~

“I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.”

Harry Truman

~~~

One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers “what it means to be British?” Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland.  

“Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?  

“Suspicion of anything foreign.”

~~~

“I got a postcard from my gynecologist. It said, ‘Did you know it’s time for your annual check-up?’ No. But now my postman does.”

Cathy Ladman

~~~

Good and evil do not befall men without reason.

Heaven sends them happiness or misery according to their conduct.

Confucius

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

We can do it

Ray’s Daily

July 19, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“There is no education like adversity.”

Benjamin Disraeli

Yesterday there was a mass shooting in a local mall, inflation continued to shrink our buying power, a new strain of the Covid Virus seems highly contageus and the stock market has reduced the value of my savings. It is enough to get me down if I let it. If I am going to remain positive I must not let this kind of concerns bother me too much. As always it is up to us to rise above our concerns.

Recently I got the following tips from Angel Chernoff suggesting who we can deal with adversity.

3 Things to Remember When Life Does NOT Go as Planned

1. Do not let what is out of your control interfere with what you can control. Use your frustrations today to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at things. Truth be told, there is an opportunity in almost every difficult situation to understand yourself more deeply, and also to improve your life.

2. When life’s struggles knock you into a pit so deep you can’t see anything but darkness, don’t waste valuable energy trying to dig your way out. Because if you hastily dig in the dark, you’re likely to head in the wrong direction and only dig the pit deeper. Instead, use what energy you have to reach out and pull something good in with you. For goodness is bright; its radiance will show you which way is up, and illuminate the correct path that will take you there.

3. When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over. There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. And there are three little words that can release you from your past regrets and guide you forward to a positive new beginning. These words are: From now on…

Again, you are NOT in control of everything, but you ARE in control of the way you respond to life. And in your present response is your power.

Truth be told, as time passes life educates and humbles us. We gradually realize how much nonsense we have wasted our energy and resources on.

And we begin to understand what it means to let go…

Without a doubt, we are all facing our share of difficult circumstances right now, many of which are not the result of anything we’ve done. But we all have choices when it comes to how we respond.

The choices are as simple as they are universal:

•         Grit our teeth and try to move the immovable object, and become frustrated and bitter when we realize we can’t.

•         Let it be. Let go, and focus on the little things we actually can accomplish.

~~~

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I built my life.”

J.K. Rowling

~~~

The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise. “You need to make sure this dog runs around,” the doctor said.

“Try playing a game of fetch with him.”

“I can’t play fetch with my dog,” the blonde said.

“Why not?” the doctor asked.

“Because,” she replied, “He can’t throw.”

~~~

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say!

~~~

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?”

“Yes,” the golfer responded.

“Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?”

“Yes, I did. How did you know?” he asked.

“Well,” said the policeman very seriously, “Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver’s windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn’t make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?”

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded…

“I think I’ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.”

~~~

Money doesn’t bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.

~~~

My friend’s mother is a proper Southern lady and a passionate gardener who spends hours outside with her plants. In her neighborhood, where she has lived most of her life, no one has fences and every yard is open to the next. Recently one of her longtime neighbors, an elderly man, moved away. “Are you going to miss him?” my friend asked.

“Actually I’m relieved,” her mother replied. “Now I can bend over.”

~~~

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”

Alexander Pope

~~~

Bill had always been teased by his friends that his wife was more successful than he was.  Some even went so far as to insinuate that he was overshadowed by her and henpecked.  Bill had a sense of humor and always laughed it off.

One day, one of his fiends asked the tiresome question AGAIN, “Who wears the pants in your family?”

“I do,” replied Bill.  Then, after a pause, he added, “I also wash and iron them.”

~~~

Everyone seems normal….. Until you get to know them.

~~~

He said: As a senior at St. Cloud State University in Minnesota, I often engage women psychology majors in heated discussions about male-female relationships. Once, my friend Shelly and I got into a hot debate about whether men or women make the larger sacrifice of their respective gender characteristics when they get married.  To my surprise, Shelly agreed with me that men give up far more than women.

“You’re right, Steve,” she said.  “Men generally give up doing their cleaning, their cooking, their grocery shopping, their laundry.”

~~~

“There are uses to adversity, and they don’t reveal themselves until tested. Whether it’s serious illness, financial hardship, or the simple constraint of parents who speak limited English, difficulty can tap unexpected strengths.”

Sonia Sotomayor

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Friendship

Ray’s Daily

July 18, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“There are three things that grow more precious with age; old wood to burn, old books to read, and old friends to enjoy.”

Henry Ford

One of the best ways to assure happy aging is to ask people you meet to become your friend. As time goes by it is important that we stay socially active otherwise we will wither. I know it is the new friends that I have made that make my life interesting. So thank you my friends, I am glad to know you.

I got the following edited article from the net.

Ways Friendship Improves Our Health

Friendships are one of the most important facets of life. Friends can enhance and help us celebrate the best times—from weddings to graduations and new careers—as well as help us get through the worst of times (i.e., divorces, deaths, and layoffs).

That’s why friendships are so crucial to helping maintain our mental and physical health. Simply put, it’s incredibly important that people have a dependable social network in place to help them weather the storm of life.  So, in a specific way, let’s examine how friendship affects our health and wellness?

Having Friends Extends Our lives

Experts believe that having strong and stable friendships can help us to manage stress, which can have a dramatically impact on our physical health. If you know that you’ll have people by your side in times of worry, it can make a huge difference when trying to manage the situation.

Friendships Keep the Mind Sharp

Having great friends can make every day a little bit better. But that’s not all! Friends can also help us keep the mind sharp and focused by engaging us in conversation.

In fact, studies have shown that people with larger social networks were far less likely to develop dementia in old age compared to those people with fewer friends. This is because regularly conversation with others can help maintain many different parts of the brain, keeping us thinking more clearly.

Friends Help Us Make Better Decisions

How many times have you turned to a close friend for advice? Probably hundreds or even thousands of times. The right friends can help us make wise decisions, help steer us away from trouble and keep us on the track to success.

Friends Help Us Get Through Difficult Moments

There’s no denying that having supportive friends around us can help us get through the hardest times in life. Imagine going through a messy divorce or the death of a loved one without the support of a close friend. It would be very difficult, lonely, and painful.

Emily Lockhart

~~~

“Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.”

Misty Copeland

~~~

The following are actual comments from MIT’s Course Evaluation Guide:

“The class is worthwhile because I need it for the degree.”

“His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame.”

“Textbook is confusing… someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it.”

“This class was a religious experience for me… I had to take it all on faith.”

“The instructor would make a good parking lot attendant.  He tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him.”

“TA steadily improved throughout the course.  I think he started drinking and it really loosened him up.”

“The course was very thorough.  What wasn’t covered in class was covered on the final exam.”

“He is one of the best teachers I have had. He is well organized, presents good lectures, and creates interest in the subject.  I hope my comments don’t hurt his chances of getting tenure.”

~~~

Two women were discussing reincarnation. 

One asked the other if her husband believed in it. 

The second woman said, “Does my husband believe in life after death?  My husband doesn’t even believe in life after dinner!”

~~~

Didn’t get the job? Try this.

Dear [Interviewer’s Name]:

Thank you for your letter of [Date of Interview].  After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm.  This year I have had been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite [Firm’s Name]’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.  Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation.  I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

~~~

Nonconformists are all alike.

~~~

One day a man approached Groucho Marx and he said, “Please insult my wife. My wife loves your work. It would really give her a thrill if you insulted her.”

Groucho turned to the man and said, “Sir, you should be ashamed of yourself: To be married to a woman like that and not be able to think up your own insults!”

~~~

The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.

David Brinkley

~~~

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat-race…you’re a male chauvinist

If you stay home and do the housework…you’re a pansy.

If you work too hard…there is never any time for her.

If you don’t work enough…you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay…this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay…..you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her…..that is favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you……it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks……it’s sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet……….it’s male indifference.

If you cry…………you’re a wimp.

If you don’t………………..you’re an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her………you’re a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you……she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy……. that’s domination.

If SHE asks you………it’s a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear……you’re a pervert.

If you don’t…………..you’re gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep herself in shape……..you’re sexist.

If you don’t……………..you’re unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape……….you’re vain.

If you don’t…………….you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers………….you’re after something.

If you don’t………………..you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements……..you’re full of yourself.

If you don’t………………..you’re not ambitious.

If she has a headache…………she’s tired.

If you have a headache………….you don’t love her anymore.

If you want it too often………you’re over sexed.

If you don’t…………….there must be someone else.

Now you know why we are afraid to do anything.

~~~

Think about this….. No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

~~~

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’. . .perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.”

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.

Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.

” The young man knit his brow. “Well, now,” he said, “my thoughts are a bit more serious this time.”

“Really?” said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

“Aye,” said the lad. “Din’na ye think it’s aboot time ye paid me that first penny?”

~~~

“And what is a friend? More than a father, more than a brother: a traveling companion, with him, you can conquer the impossible, even if you must lose it later. Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”

Elie Wiesel

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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