Ray's musings and humor

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Sorry

Ray’s Daily

November 13, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Everyone hears only what he understands.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

One of the hardest things for me to do these days is saying no to someone who asks for my help. In my case age has imposed limits on my ability to prerform so tasks are not as easy as they once were. So I prefer to say no rather than disappoint that comes from the inability to get the job done.

So my friends if I disappoint you someday please understand that I just do not want to let you down. I promise I will understand if you also need to say no on occasion.

Never judge others by their NO.

Once a bird was searching for a home to lay her eggs and get shelter in the coming rainy season. In her Search, she saw two trees and went to ask for shelter. When she asked the first tree. He refused to give her shelter.

With disappointment, she went to the second. And second, agreed she made her home and lay her eggs and then the rainy season arrives. The rain was so heavy that the first tree fell and was carried away by the flood.

The bird saw this and in a taunting way said: ” See, this is your karma, you didn’t offer me shelter, now God has given you the punishment.”

The tree smiled and said: ” I knew I’m not going to survive this rainy season that’s why I refused you. I didn’t want to risk your’s and your children’s lives. “ The bird got tears in her eyes. now she knew the reason and felt respect for the tree.

Moral of the Story:

We should not always consider someone’s NO as their arrogance. You don’t know the full picture. Respect other’s decisions whether it is in your favor or not.

We get so much involved in the problems that we forget to view the other person’s point. Without even trying to understand the motive, the reason, we make our own judgments. we should never judge others by their No. because we don’t know their story.

You don’t know what good is hidden for you behind it.

~~~

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

Andy Rooney’s tips for telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work !!

(1) The three little words are: “Hold On, Please…”

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt. Then when you eventually hear the phone company’s “beep-beep-beep” tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a “real” sales person to call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!

(3) Junk Mail Help:

When you get “ads” enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these “ads” with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those “pre-approved” letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37 cents postage “IF” and when they receive them back. It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before! the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

~~~

The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.

~~~

Speaking of luck, she said: I was shopping with my husband at a local supermarket and suddenly couldn’t find him. “I’ve lost my husband!” I muttered slightly louder than was necessary.

Then I heard a woman’s voice from the next aisle: “Some people have all the luck.”

~~~

He said: A client brought a litter of golden retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog’s head when I had finished.

After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup’s head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, “I didn’t know they had to be baptized.”

~~~

You know you’re growing older when … You begin to realize that your parents were right, after all!

~~~

I’m in a hurry today. I have to answer the email I got from Mrs. Moobooro Nambito, who is the wife of a prominent politician in some African country. She just so happens to need help funneling tens of millions of dollars that her husband gave her to hide–right before the populace tore him to shreds because he stole all their money and resources.  

Anyway, she needs help embezzling the funds to the States and is willing to pay handsomely anyone who lets her use their bank account. This is going to be the easiest money I ever made!  

~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

~~~

The other day, I had to make a call to the telephone company. Something was wrong with my bill. I dialed the number listed, and was astonished. I got the strangest recording. It said, “You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy. Please hang up and redial.”

~~~

Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.

R.E. Shay

~~~

When his eyes began to give him trouble, a man went to a Prague ophthalmologist. The doctor showed the patient the eye chart, displaying the letters CVKPNWXSCZ.  

“Can you read that?” the doctor asked.  

“Can I read it?” the Czech replied. “I dated his sister.”  

~~~

The reality of the other person is not in what he reveals to you, but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather what he does not say.

Kahlil Gibran

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Take it Easy

Ray’s Daily

November 12, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Your ability to generate power is directly proportional to your ability to relax.

David Allen

I am off to see my cardiologist this morning. I think I am doing ok but like so many others I do have to cope with the restrictions resulting from the covid epidemic. If you are like I am you find staying stress free is not easy.

I spend most of my days reading, watching television and napping. I miss not living with my wife. While we do stay in touch via phone I miss our visits. I hope the  lock down in her long term care facility will soon be lifted so we can agin resume our inperson visits.

We all need to devlop our coping skills so we are ready to return to a more nomal life in the future. Here are some tips to help us avoid stress.

“What to do about Stress – The 30 Point Plan

by Craig Lock”

1. Be positive- see problems as opportunities. Have goals and visions. Have a positive mental attitude.

2. Play sports and step up your exercise.

3. Talk things over with someone.

4. Determine what causes you stress and try to eliminate it.

5. Become physically fit.

6. Balance work, home/family and recreation.

7. Enjoy your play and relaxation- it is precious time! Learn to delegate- don’t try to do everything yourself.

8. Get adequate sleep and rest

9. Allow yourself some relaxation and meditation time every day.

10. Learn relaxation techniques: systematic ways to relax.

11. Give yourself time to think.

12. Know your limits and your symptoms of stress…and how to relieve them. Learn to say ‘no’ to others’ excessive demands on you. Don’t say “yes” when You mean “no”.

13. “Coast” if necessary.

14. Worry only about that which can be changed by you. I like the quotation which goes something like this: “Accept that which cannot be changed by you and let God give me the wisdom to know the difference.” I often do not follow this rule.

15. Use your imagination to reduce your stress levels. Be creative.

16. Learn to switch off thinking about work when you get home.

17. Think about your diet and eat nutritious food.

18. Learn to plan your time better.

19. Learn to recognize and to accept your limitations as well as the limitations (and faults) of others.

20. Learn to have FUN: you must be able to enjoy your work.

21. Learn to praise others and be positive,

22. Learn to tolerate and to forgive.

23. Learn to avoid unnecessary competition: you don’t have to be the

best at everything.

24. Learn to confide in others.

25. Learn to accept what can’t be changed in others, eg.. personality or decisions.

26. Learn to accept that some things aren’t as important to others as they are to you.

27. Learn to delegate.

28. Learn to recognize stress. Do not become so accustomed to feeling stress that it becomes a normal part of your life.

29. Have trust in other people.

And finally, no matter how stressful or hopeless your situation may

appear to be…

30. Have FAITH IN YOURSELF that things ill eventually work out for you.

~~~

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.

Peter Marshall

~~~

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”

The man groaned but didn’t budge.

The usher became impatient.  “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.

In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man.  The two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success.  Finally, they summoned the police.  The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked,” All right buddy, what’s your name?”

“Sam,” the man moaned “Where ya from, Sam?”

With pain in his voice Sam replied “the balcony.”

~~~

“I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.”

Wendy Liebman

~~~

“What’s the usual tip?” a man growled when, Jason, a college boy delivered his pizza.

“Well,” Jason replied, “this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I’d be doing great.”

“Is that so?” grunted the man. “In that case, here’s five dollars.”

“Thanks,” Jason said, “I’ll put it in my college fund.”

“By the way, what are you studying?”  questioned the man.

Jason replied, “Reverse psychology…”

~~~

“A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerate the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable.”

Billy Graham

~~~

A golfer who was well into his golden years had a lifelong ambition to play one hole at Pebble Beach, California, the way the pros do it. The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the green that is on a spit of land that juts out off the coast.

It was something he had tried hundreds of times without success. His ball always fell short, into the water. Because of this he never used a new ball on this particular hole. He always picked out one that had a cut or a nick.

One year he went out to Pebble Beach to try again. When he came to the fateful hole, he teed up an old cut ball and said a silent prayer. Before he hit it, however, a powerful voice from above said: WAIT … REPLACE THAT OLD BALL WITH A BRAND-NEW BALL. He complied, with  some slight misgiving, despite the fact that the Lord seemed to be implying that He was going to let him finally achieve his lifelong ambition.

As he stepped up to the tee once more, the voice came down again: WAIT … STEP BACK … TAKE A PRACTICE SWING. So he stepped back and took a practice swing. The voice boomed out again: TAKE ANOTHER PRACTICE SWING. He did. Silence followed. Then the voice spoke out again: PUT BACK THE OLD BALL.

~~~

A husband said to his wife, “No, I don’t hate your relatives.  In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.”

~~~

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn’t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation.  The doctor checks out his leg, but can’t find anything wrong.  So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can’t come up with any possible explanation for the pain.

The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, “I’m sorry but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

The old man replies with a look of disbelief, “That’s impossible! That can’t be!

“The Doctor says, “What do you mean? I’m the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it’s NOT old age?”

The patient answers, “I’m no doctor but it doesn’t take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong.  Clearly you’re mistaken.  After all my other leg feels just fine.”

“So what?” says the doctor “What difference does that make?”

“Well it doesn’t hurt a bit, and it’s the SAME AGE!”

~~~

We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday’s burden over again today, and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it.    

John Newton

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Thank You Fellow Vets

Ray’s Daily

November 11, 2020

“Valor is stability, not of legs and arms, but of courage and the soul.”

Michel de Montaigne

http://rays-daily.com

Today is veteran’s day and I have a full schedule so here is a daily from yesteryear.

Ray’s Daily first published on November 11,2004

World War One ended on this day, it was the 11th hour on the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 when the Great War ended. World War I was known as the “war to end all wars” because of the great slaughter and destruction it caused. Unfortunately, the peace treaty that officially ended the conflict–the Treaty of Versailles of 1919–forced punitive terms on Germany that destabilized Europe and laid the groundwork for World War II.

When I was young the day was not called Veterans Day, it was called Armistice Day. I remember being in grammar school at 11:00 AM when we had a moment of silence, more in celebration of the peace than to remember the dead. Since then we have seen the Second World War, the Korean War (I was in the Navy for that one), the Vietnam War, and lately two wars in the Middle-East. Personally I find little glory in war, my memories of the wars I have known are filled with the deaths of friends and those innocents caught in the middle of conflicts. I guess what I am saying is that while I hold my fellow veterans in high regard, I do long for the peacemakers who bring wars to their end. So today at 11 AM I plan on remembering for a minute the days when we all celebrated an armistice that brought peace, versus celebrating those of us who were called to war.

~~~

The peace makers shall be called the children of God.

~ Bible ~

~~~

She asks who understands men!

The nice men are ugly.

The handsome men are not nice.

The handsome and nice men are gay.

The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

The handsome men without money are after our money.

The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual don’t think we are beautiful enough.

The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!

The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW ….WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

~~~

Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.

Edward de Bono

~~~

An elderly couple would constantly argue about everything. The woman often ended the arguments by stating vociferously, “I’ll dance on your grave!  I’ll dance on your grave!”

Well, sure enough, the old geezer died first. His last request was that he be buried at sea.

~~~

This is also how I feel about Wagner’s music.

“I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.”

Charles Baudelaire

~~~

A married couple was watching volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers. They were being very affectionate. The girl was running her hands all over the boyfriend and nibbling on his ear. He had his hands on her chest. Looking at them, the wife said to her husband “I don’t know whether to watch them or the game.”

Husband said, “Better watch them! You already know how to play volleyball.”

~~~

How many weeks are there in a light year?

~~~

She said, if men got pregnant:

* Maternity leave would last two years….with full pay.

* There would be a cure for stretch marks.

* Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

* Morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem.

* All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.

* Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

* Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

* They wouldn’t think twins were so cute.

* Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00pm.

* Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.

* Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.

* They would stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.

* Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entrees.

* Women would rule the world.

~~~

Those who can not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

George Santayana

~~~

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any again.”

Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something.  If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way.  Now, what was it she asked about?”

And the clerk said, “Muggings in the parking lot.”

~~~

Experience teaches us that there is a small but important difference between keeping your chin up and sticking your neck out.

~~~

A blonde is taking the driving portion of her driver’s license exam.

She handles most of the maneuvers quite well.  However, she has a little trouble parallel parking, and winds up a about a foot from the curb.

“Could you get a little closer?” the examiner asks.

The blonde then unbuckles her seat belt and slides over toward the examiner and asks, “OK, sir. Now what?”

~~~

I have found that the sure cure for insomnia is sleep.

~~~

She said: Working as a court reporter, I hear to a lot of testimony that you won’t hear on LAW AND ORDER, including the following give-and-take between the judge and a mother during a paternity suit.

Judge: “Was this child born out of wedlock?”

Mother: “No, sir, just outside of Louisville.”

~~~

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

~~~

“Beauty is not in the face;

Beauty is a light in the heart.”

Kahlil Gibran

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

They have a lot to offer

Ray’s Daily

November 10, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.

Margaret Mead

One of the the positive surprises that I have found living in my senior community has been just how special so many of my fellow residents are. What I especially appreciate is there good hearts and their willingness to share their wisdom. Those that can also go out of their way to help others. Yep. Our community thrives because it is made up of so many caring individuals. 

Here is a story that I found worth reading, I hope you will too.

I recently heard someone say, ‘What you do for others you do also for yourself.’ I was confused at first, because it almost made me feel selfish. I mean, I love doing things for other people, but my wife told me recently that I always put others first. She was saying that was one of my faults. I needed a little more ‘me’ in my efforts to change the world.

I visit people in nursing homes, retirement and senior centres. I love to spend time with older folks. It’s like mining for gold. They have been down the road ahead of me and I want to know what they have learned so that I make the right choices.

A speaker at a conference I attended many years ago asked, ‘Where do you think the most valued real estate is in the world.’

Hands went up and offered big city names, resorts in development and exotic locations around the world.

‘Nice try,’ he said. ‘The most valuable real estate are the cemeteries. Buried there are dreams that might have changed the world, perhaps cures for major diseases that were never developed and people who could have made a difference in your life but never took the chance. What happened? No one listened.’

I listen, I encourage, but I don’t realize the value of what I do or understand the impact. It was during a recent visit to a new facility that I realized that my efforts made a difference in the lives of those I met.

‘How are you today?’ I heard someone ask. I turned around and scanned the room to see who was speaking. ‘I heard the voice of an angel!’ I said smiling. ‘Where are you?’

Then I heard a faint laugh in the corner. ‘Oh, there you are. I am so lucky to find you today,’ I said. She was seated on an old Victorian looking couch. It reminded me of the furniture in my mother’s living room. We could only sit on it when company came. So, I jumped at the opportunity to sit next to this wonderful woman. Her hair was white and neatly brushed with an occasional wave gently reflecting the light from the nearby window. Her hands crossed on her lap resting on top of a knitted pink blanket that covered her legs. Two practical looking walking shoes peeked out at the bottom and a wooden cane was placed within her reach nearby.

‘It’s good to see you,’ she said. ‘I love when you come to visit.’ I was a bit surprised to hear her say that. I had never been here before. Maybe she was transferred her from another place and she remembered me.

‘It’s good to see you, too,’ I said.

‘You always brighten my day,’ she added.

I sat quietly for a moment trying desperately to remember if we had met before. I really love to remember names. It makes people feel good when you remember. Then I asked, ‘When was the last time I saw you?’

She turned her head away for a moment and then looking back at me, she said, ‘Oh, we’ve never met, you and I. But I know you by heart.’

How curious. We never met, but she knows me by heart. It must have been the look on my face that caused her to explain further. ‘There is something about people like you. You are the ones who carry the world on your back. When you walk in a room you make us smile. When you touch my hand I can feel the warmth in your heart. People like you bring flowers, music and sunshine. Even when you bring nothing at all, you leave so much behind’

I was humbled and at a loss for words. ‘My, I thank you for saying that,’ I said. ‘When you said, I know you by heart, I naturally felt like I must have met you before.’

‘I know you by heart, because I always did the same thing. I always put others first,’ she said.

There it was again. ‘Putting others first.’

Then I shared, ‘I heard someone say – what you do for others you do also for yourself.’

‘I am living proof of that,’ she said. ‘You see, after all that time, after all that caring it all came back to me. People like you now visit me and I know you by heart.’

Written by Bob Perks

~~~

A kind word is like a spring day.

Russian Proverb

~~~

One day in third grade.

“Who would like to do the first problem, addition?” No one raises their hand. The teacher calls on Tommy and with some help, he finally gets it right.

“Who would like to do the second problem, subtraction?” Students hide their faces. She calls on Mark, who gets the problem, but there is some suspicion his girlfriend, Lisa, may have whispered the answer to him.

“Who would like to do the third problem, division?” A low, collective groan can be heard as everyone looks at nothing in particular. The teacher calls on Suzy, who struggles, but eventually gets it right.

“Who would like to do the last problem, multiplication?”

Johnny’s hand shoots up, surprising everyone in the room. The teacher finally gained her composure in the stunned silence. “Why the enthusiasm, Johnny?”

“The Bible says to go fourth and multiply!”

~~~

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like and do what you’d rather not.

Mark Twain

~~~

Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument. “Are there two pints in a quart or four?” asked one.

“There be two pints in a quart,” confirmed the proprietor.

They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order. “Two pints please, miss. And the bartender offered to buy them for us.”

The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, “You did say two pints, didn’t you?”

“That’s right,” he called back. “Two pints.”

~~~

Don’t be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.

Grace Hansen  

~~~

SIGNS YOU’RE AT A WEDDING IN TENNESSEE

* The rehearsal dinner is held at Hooters.

* Instead of “friends of the bride or friends of the groom?”, ushers ask “Ford or Chevy?”

* Bridesmaids wear pink tube tops and the groomsmen wear Travis Tritt t-shirts.

* Phrase “I Do” is replaced by “I Heard That!”

* Tender rendition of “The Wedding Song” is replaced by “Rocky Top” and performed by Boxcar Willie.

* When the minister asks, “Who Giveth This Woman To Be Married…” some guy in the back stands up and hollers “Earnhardt!”

* Reception conversation includes the phrase, “Been to Dollywood lately, Earl?”

* Snack trays and beverages at reception include vienna sausages (smoked, of course), nacho cheese Doritos and grandma’s own moonshine.

* Plans for the Honeymoon evening include tickets to the Monster Truck Show.

* The sign in front of the church reads: No Shirt…No Shoes…No Problem!

~~~

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

~~~

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”

The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

“Yes?” replied the teacher.

“Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

~~~

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

~~~

A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.”  

“Quiet!” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back.”  

“But, officer, I just wanted to say,”  

“And I said be quiet! You’re going to jail!”  

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you, the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”  

“Don’t count on it,” answered the guy in the cell. “I’m the groom.”  

~~~

~~~

“When people cared about each other, they always found a way to make it work.”

Nicholas Sparks

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

We need each other

Ray’s Daily

November 9, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Civility costs nothing, and buys everything.

Mary Wortley Montagu

I am disappointed that I can only speak to my wife via phone as her facility is on lockdown since one of their caregivers has been found to have the virus.I am glad that they are being careful but I do miss being alble to walk over and see her.

I am so glad the elections are over I only hope that we can find a way to minimize the animosity created by the constant polarizing rhetorice of the campaings. I yearn for the civility and cooperation that can result in our solving our problems. It is time we respect all or fellow citizens and work for the common good.

I like the following piece I copied form Wikipedia as it offers how we can do better.

Civility

Many experts on civility cite that Civility actually goes beyond good manners and listening attentively, but actually includes sharing our own beliefs and values with others through some type of engagement with the intent of sincere respect towards one another. This also requires a willingness and open mindedness to having our opinions and biases challenged by others who share a different and perhaps completely unique perspectives and points of view. Experts say that our ability to act with civility is deeply connected with our ability to understand our own emotions, because understanding our own feelings will help us to recognize how we are feeling in real-time and give us a greater ability to have empathy for others. Furthermore, understanding our own personal feelings can help us to evaluate the things that trigger us emotionally and therefore become more aware and in tune with how we can, could and will possibly react and feel in certain situations. By being open to taking the time to understand our thoughts and emotions in these situations, this practice can lead to the self-recognition and acceptance of how the same or similar situations may affect others, including those that may share a completely unique perspective.

~~~

Political civility is not about being polite to each other. It’s about reclaiming the power of ‘We the People’ to come together, debate the common good and call American democracy back to its highest values amid our differences.

Parker Palmer

~~~

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says,”My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”

The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”

The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.”

The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.”

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?”

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”

The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But, of course. . . . I can’t tell you what it is because………you’re not a monk!!

~~~

“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study Huh?”

Conan O’Brien

~~~

A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him.

The caller said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, “Hi, you have reached 555-3214. I can’t come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone.”

~~~

“The limit of your present understanding is not the limit of your possibilities.”

Guy Finley

~~~

By chance, a man named John Smith witnessed a mugging. When the cops arrived, the officer in charge asked the witness his name.

“John Smith,” John told him.

“Cut the funny business. What’s your real name?”

“All right. Put me down as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.”

“That’s more like it. You can’t fool me with that John Smith stuff.”

~~~

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

Arnold Glasow

~~~

“I’ve just had the most awful time. First, I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics and to top it all off, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy.”

“Wow! How did you ever manage to pull through?”

“I don’t know. It was the toughest spelling test I ever had.”

~~~

Civility, politeness, it’s like a cement in a society: binds it together. And when we lose it, then I think we all feel lesser and slightly dirty because of it.    

Jeremy Irons

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

I am going to rest

Ray’s Daily

November 6, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“The ballot is stronger than the bullet.”

Abraham Lincoln

Sorry for the missed Dailies this week. I had computer problems. Here is a reprint for today.

Ray’s Daily first published om November 6, 2008

The elections are over, I have said more than enough about how we may have to adjust to a changing world. Today I have a little bit of brain fatigue and have decided I am going to mostly coast. I only have an early Kiwanis Club meeting and a lunch meeting with a respected friend. So today I am going to nap and enjoy frivolous pursuits. As I was dipping into old Dailies that I had sent on this day over the years I found the one that follows. I was glad I did because I just had dinner with one of my older grandsons, he is a guy I really like and I am glad that he spends time with me on occasion. I wish I had not missed so many days with my own children. I think far too often we get so carried away with career and other self-imposed obligations that we lose sight of what is really important in life.

Ray’s Daily

November 6, 2002

One of my biggest disappointments has been that I did not spend much time with my children in their earlier years. I was always either traveling for weeks or even months at a time, or working long days and weekends. When I read the following story it really hit home. If you have a choice, please make the right one.

“Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”

With a timid voice and idolizing eyes, the little boy greeted his father as he returned from work.

Greatly surprised, but giving his boy a glaring look, the father said: “Look, son, not even your mother knows that.  Don’t bother me now, I’m tired.”

“But Daddy, just tell me please!  How much do you make an hour?” the boy insisted.  The father, finally giving up, replied: “Twenty dollars per hour.”

“Okay, Daddy.  Could you loan me ten dollars?” the boy asked.

Showing his restlessness and positively disturbed, the father yelled: “So that was the reason you asked how much I earn, right?  Go to sleep and don’t bother me anymore!”

It was already dark and the father was meditating on what he said and was feeling guilty.  Maybe he thought, his son wanted to buy something. Finally, trying to ease his mind, the father went to his son’s room.

“Are you asleep, son?” asked the father.

“No, Daddy.  Why?” replied the boy, partially asleep.

“Here’s the money you asked for earlier,” the father said.

“Thanks, Daddy!” rejoiced the son, while putting his hand under his pillow and removing some money.

“Now I have enough!  Now I have twenty dollars!” the boy said to his father, who was gazing at his son, confused at what his son had just said. “Daddy, could you sell me one hour of your time?”

~~~

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.

Pearl S. Buck

~~~

The seven year old told her mom, that a little boy in her class asked her to play doctor. “Oh, dear,” the mother nervously sighed. “What happened, honey?”

“Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double billed the insurance company.”

~~~

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Patrick, Age 10

~~~

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the evidence that I have been using company property for personal purposes, including circulating my resume and searching for more rewarding and satisfying work.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work: 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, and 5% on Friday.

And help me to remember that when I’m having a really bad day, and it seems that people are working on my last Good Nerve, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.

~~~

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

~~~

A bride called to make a change to her wedding registry. It is common, almost expected, that a bride will change something on her registry at least once (dishes, color of towels, etc.). The Customer Service Representative told her that J.C. Penney would be happy to make the change. He asked if the bride wanted to change the dishes or the linens.

The bride said, “No, keep all that. I just wanted to change the name of the groom.”

~~~

Two men meet on the street. One asks the other: “Hi, how are you?”

The other replies: “I’m fine, thanks.”

“And how’s your son? Is he still unemployed?”

“Yes, he is. But he is meditating now.”

“Meditating? What’s that?”

“I don’t know. But it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing!”

~~~

The person who spends all of today bragging about what he is going to accomplish tomorrow probably did the very same thing yesterday.

~~~

This nice old Jewish lady went decided to buy a parrot, so she went to the store and bought one. The parrot seemed fine and when Friday night came, she dressed the parrot up and went to temple. The parrot seemed fine but when the rabbi went to bless the congregation, the parrot screamed out, “It’s freakin’ cold in here!”

The woman,

completely appalled, grabbed the parrot and ran out. Well, the parrot seemed fine for the next week so once again, on Friday she and the parrot got dressed up and went to temple. Like the previous week, the parrot was fine until the rabbi went to bless the congregation at which point the parrot, once again screamed out, “It’s freakin’ cold in here!”

Once again, the lady was appalled, grabbed the parrot and ran out of temple. She decided to confront the man at the pet store to see what was going on.

The clerk at the pet store said, “You gotta show the parrot who’s boss so here is what you do. The next time he does this, grab him by his legs and swing him around your head a few times. That should teach him a lesson.”

That Friday night they once again got dressed up and went to temple. Like the previous two weeks, when the rabbi went to bless the congregation, the parrot screamed out, “It’s freakin’ cold in here!”

The lady, remembering what the clerk said, grabbed the parrot by its legs and swung it around her head a few times. When she was done, the parrot looked at her and screamed out, “And freakin’ windy, too!”

~~~

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys holding a list.

“Lady,” one of them explained, “we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar.”

“Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?”

“Our baby-sitter’s boyfriend.”

~~~

The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands.

Robert M. Pirsig

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Just the facts please

Ray’s Daily

November 2, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Its hour is now—always and indeed then most truly when it seems unsuitable to actual circumstances. Truth has not special time of its own.

Albert Schweitzer

Ray’s Daily first published on November 2, 2005

~~~

Have you sometimes wished that you could always see things through rose colored glasses? I have occasionally even though it would be a problem if I did. When you get right down to it we are much better off seeing things as they are versus seeing them as we would like them to be. Don’t get me wrong I am not advocating pessimism, I am advocating recognizing both the good and the bad, and when we do that we embrace the good and either ignore or get over the bad.

I wish everyone would feel the same way. I wonder sometimes what I am missing when I hear leaders saying that things are going well in Iraq or that the economy is doing well even though we continue to build massive debt. It seems to me that when they speak this way they either are trying to con the public or they don’t realize reality, I don’t know what is worse.

Meanwhile yours and my life goes on. I am sorry that my friend Sara will be leaving Indianapolis for good by the end of the year, but I am happy she is doing so in order to enter the next phase her life including her marriage. Another friend will soon be packing to move back to Iceland and his family. I will always have fond memories of the times we had together and the things he did for me and so many others.

I was saddened by the death of a fellow service club member. He was a man who unselfishly gave of himself over many years, as a judge, educator, and humanitarian. He will be missed.

We are challenged every day. We can either let things get us down or fall back on our resiliency to rise above the bad times so we can see the good. I just wish people would quit trying to con us and instead share the facts. I think we all could handle truth, even on a regular basis. Maybe if they understood that winning is not nearly as good as living the good life, they would quit.

~~~

What a man believes upon grossly insufficient evidence is an index into his desires — desires of which he himself is often unconscious. If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way.

Bertrand Russell

~~~

Helpful Hints for the Inexperienced Traveler

Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean cruise includes the phrase “Free Ammo”.

Consider carefully before visiting a country where the license plate motto is Die American Pig.

There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare.

If you find yourself in Iran, do not use the word blankethead.

On a trip to Canada, your travel agent should not charge you for an interpreter.

While in the Vatican, do not refer to St. Peter as “Petey-Boy.”

Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars.

Avoid any Latin American Tour named Bay of Pigs, Two.

In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami.

Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign military uniforms.

~~~

“One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience.”

Alice James

~~~

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”

“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a bill.”

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

~~~

“Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.”

A. J. Liebling

~~~

While shopping in a supermarket in Washington, D.C., I heard over the PA system: “A wallet containing a large sum of money was found, but it contains no ID. Will those laying claim to it please form a double line at the customer service counter?”

~~~

George Burns told a story about cheating on his wife once during their marriage.  He kept it to himself, but he felt so bad that he bought Gracie a beautiful diamond bracelet.  Finally, after several years had gone by, he confessed to Gracie about his indiscretion.  She said, “I know.  I was hoping you’d do it again.  I wanted a ring to match.”

~~~

“If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.”

Johnny Carson

~~~

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time, robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, DEAD or ALIVE! A trigger happy, young, enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track down the bandit on his own and collect the reward. After a lengthy search, the Ranger tracked the bandit to his favorite cantina and snuck up behind him. At the sound of the Ranger’s guns cocking and preparing to fire, the surprised bandit sped around only to see both of the Ranger’s six-shooters bearing down on him. The Ranger announced, “You’re under arrest! Tell me where you hid the loot or I’ll drop you where you stand,” his finger becoming itchy on the trigger. However, the bandit didn’t speak English and the Ranger didn’t speak Spanish. Fortunately for the Ranger, a bilingual lawyer was present in the cantina and translated the Ranger’s demand to the bandit.

The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried next to an old oak tree behind the cantina. “What did he say, what did he say?” the Ranger hurriedly asked. To which the lawyer replied, “Well, the best I can make out he said … SHOOT!”

~~~

“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.”

Rita Mae Brown

~~~

Mom’s Dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 AM, too.

Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing ‘dry’ shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Verbal: Ability to whine in actual words.

Whoodunit: None of the kids in your house!

Ooops: An exclamation that translates roughly into ‘get a sponge.’

~~~

The first step towards the solution of any problem is optimism.

John Baines

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Be Kind

Ray’s Daily

October 30, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“You cannot do kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the current, sometimes hostile environment I really appreciate those folks who practice kindness. Kindness is the antidote for ill will and anger. In addition, the kind folks I know are happy and appreciated by all who know them. Our world would be a better place if we all practiced kindness in our daily activities.

Here is something to think about:

If You Were Arrested for Kindness

If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

Some people cheer up a room by entering it, others by leaving it.

What do you bring to your interactions with workmates, friends, and family? Is it encouragement, optimism or kind words? Or is it pessimism, criticism or cynicism?

People often forget what we say and usually what we do, but as Maya Angelou said . . . ‘They always remember how we made them feel.’

‘Wise sayings often fall on barren ground, but a kind word is never thrown away’

Sir Arthur Helps

‘You will regret many things in life, but you will never regret being too kind or too fair’

Brian Tracy

‘Don’t wait for people to be kind. Show them how’

Anonymous

‘The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention’

Oscar Wilde

‘That best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love’

William Wordsworth

‘Kindness is loving people more than they deserve’

Joseph Joubert

‘We are made kind by being kind’

Eric Hoffer

‘Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment’

Benjamin Franklin

‘Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom’

Theodore Isaac Rubin, M.D.

‘Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true’

Robert Brault

Written by Michael Josephson

~~~

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

Princess Diana

~~~

Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

If it’s really a “rush job,” run in and interrupt me every ten minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps.

Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors is good training.

If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.

Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.

If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret.

If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.

If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.

Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life.

~~~

“One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.”

Jack Handey

~~~

Mike goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, he says, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it. I get under the bed and I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, under top. I’m going crazy!! Can you help me?

“Put yourself in my hands for two years, come to me three times a week and I’ll cure you,” says the shrink.

“OK, but how much do you charge for this? asks Mike.”

“A hundred dollars per visit,” says the psychiatrist.

And Mike replies, “I’ll think about it.” He never went back. Some time later he met the doctor on the street. “Why didn’t you come to see me again?” asks the psychiatrist.

“$100.00 a visit,” Mike says. “Why should I want to pay a hundred bucks a visit? My bartender cured me 100% for just ten dollars.”

“Is that so! says the shrink. “Just how did he do that?” And Mike says, “He told me to cut the legs off my bed.”

~~~

I know I’m not going to understand women. I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

~~~

“A Love Poem”

I will seek and find you.

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan and groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I’m finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,

*The Flu*

~~~

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

John Wooden

~~~

Father Guffy roared from the pulpit to his parishioners: “The drink has killed millions– it rots their stomachs and they die in agony. Smoking has killed millions–it coats your lungs and you die in agony. Overeating and consorting with loose women have also killed millions…”

“‘Scuse me, Father,” hollered Reagan from the back, “but what is it that kills the people who live right?

~~~

The Bureau of Incomplete Statistics reports that one out of three.

~~~

She said: I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military.  As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. “Has anyone given you any packages that you didn’t pack yourself?” he asked.  

I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her son.  

He looked at me very carefully and asked: “Does she like you?” 

~~~

Motherhood ~ If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

~~~

In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son.

As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child, “You know, if we really mess this up, we’ll never have to do it again.”

~~~

“I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I’ll put it before any of the things like courage, or bravery, or generosity, or anything else… Kindness—that simple word. To be kind—it covers everything, to my mind. If you’re kind that’s it.”

Roahl Dahl

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Be Brave

Ray’s Daily

October 29, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.

H. Jackson Browne

I have a number of chores this morning so here is another reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on O)ctober 29, 2004

~~~

I am worried that fear is having too great an impact on our lives. People tell me they will not fly or travel for fear of what might happen. Friends tell me they are frightened of the consequences of the upcoming elections. A friend recently told me that she feared building new relationships because they might fail. We are afraid of job loss, poor health, falling stock prices, and more. It even seems that the threat of terrorism has driven many of us to the point of being irrational. As an example I know a highly intelligent and successful businessman that won’t ride the Washington, D.C. Metro for fear of a bombing.

What scares me the most is that we will end up withdrawing from life to the point that we miss most of it. If you never travel, you will never see the wonder that exists everywhere in the world, you will never meet the friends you might have made. If we convince ourselves that the election of a political candidate will be a disaster, we will not be free to judge what actually does happen. The world is not black and white but many hues of grey; we need to discern what is good and what is not and do it by understanding reality not what our imagination tells us. Saddest of all is the people would have been so important to our happiness if only we would have let them in. I do not fear new relationships, I am frightened that I might miss one. My life is better because I know so many of you. Fear can destroy any chance we have for happiness and a full life; but only if we let it.

So come travel with me someday. Let us meet all the good people we might miss if we let our fears keep us away. And oh by the way, it is never too late to start.

~~~

It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

This might help you understand why we stay on the same time in Indiana all year. When those of you change your clocks back from daylight saving time, we will be sleeping through it.

Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time in the Winter and while Chicago is then on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago. No longer true- Ray

“The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.,” a ticket agent said, “and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m.”

“Huh? Would you repeat that, please?” Bob asked.

The agent did so and then inquired, “Do you want a reservation?”

“No,” said Bob, “But I think I’ll stick around here and watch that thing take off!”

~~~

Fleischmann:  “How are you feeling today?”

Perlmutter:  I tell you … I’ve got so many aches and pains, if I get a new one today, it will have to wait two weeks before I can even worry about it!”

~~~

What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.

2. They rarely listen to you.

3. They’re totally unpredictable.

4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.

5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.

6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.

7. They’re moody.

8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.

2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room.

3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.

4. They growl when they are not happy.

5. When you want to play, they want to play.

6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.

7. They leave their toys everywhere.

8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

CONCLUSION: They’re tiny men in little fur coats

~~~

“Don’t marry a beautiful person. They may leave you. Of course, an ugly person may leave you too.  But who cares?”

~~~

The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, “Pastor, I will contribute $1,000.”

Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, “Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000.”

Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, “Pastor, I will double my last pledge.”

He sat down, and an larger chunk of plaster fell hitting him on the head. He stood once more and hollered, “Pastor, I will give $20,000!”

This prompted a deacon to shout, “Hit him again, Lord!  Hit him again!”

~~~

“I recently had my Visa card stolen. Now it’s everywhere I want to be.”

Scott Wood

~~~

Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology.”

The town council was not too happy with that sign, so the doctors changed it to “Hysterias and Posteriors.”

This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.”

No go!

Next they tried “Catatonics and High Colonics.”

Thumbs down again.

Then came, “Manic-depressives and Anal-retentives.”

Still not good enough.

How about, “Minds and Behinds.”

Unacceptable again.

Almost at their wits’ end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be acceptable to the council;

“Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends.”

~~~

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

~~~

Esther was entranced with an expensive mink coat she had seen in an exclusive shop, and for days she cudgeled her brain to think of a way to bring up the subject to her husband. Suddenly she had an inspired thought.

“Sol, last night I had a lovely dream.”

“What kind of a dream, Esther?”

“I dreamed that we passed by Saks Fifth Avenue, and there in the window was this gorgeous mink coat — only $6,200. And you know what you did? You went right in and bought it for me, Sollie dear!”

“Say, that really was a wonderful dream! Hereafter, in all your dreams, you should wear it in good health, Esther dear!”

~~~

Risks don’t always turn out as we had hoped, but they always bring greater insight and the reward of living every day to the fullest.

Mary Kay Mueller

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

It is up to us

Ray’s Daily

October 28, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.”

Louis E. Boone

During these difficult days it is important that we do our best to stay positive. I sometimes find it a challenge to concentrate on how good my day will be is up to me. While I do mourn the loss of friends, the isolation and the illnesses created by the Covid epidemic I have learned to not let remorse take me down.

The secret is to focus on appreciating what is still good in our lives. Here is a piece I may have shared before but it as always worth reading.

I have a choice about today

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today and I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school oreagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can appreciate that I have a place to call home.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Have a GREAT DAY … unless you have other plans and please remember, a ‘Smile’ will make the days go better.

Author Unknown

~~~

“Positive thinking is powerful thinking. If you want happiness, fulfillment, success and inner peace, start thinking you have the power to achieve those things. Focus on the bright side of life and expect positive results. ”

Germany Kent

~~~

For my retired friends who are now Wall Mart greeters, WATCH OUT! There are those who are reading the following suggestions for things to do while your spouse is shopping.

1. Pick up condom packages & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren’t looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, ‘Code 3 in house wares,’…and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

6. Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible’.

12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!’

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream ‘NO! It’s those voices again’.

15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loud. ‘We’re out of toilet paper in here!’

~~~

Do you prefer that you be right, or that you be happy?

~~~

There once was a religious young woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” The priest said, “Confess your sins and be forgiven.” The young woman said, “Last night my boyfriend made made passionate love to me seven times.” The priest thought long and hard and then said, “Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.” The young woman asked, “Will this cleanse me of my sins?” The Priest said “No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face!”

~~~

“If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.”

Margaret Fuller

~~~

Shirley lives in Brooklyn, yet she does keep up with the rest of the country, as an example she sent us this:

One or our local rednecks, Billy Joebob, while a total idiot, was a gifted portrait artist. His fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming to him for paintings.

One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house in a stretch limo. She asked Billy Joebob if he could paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request. The beautiful lady said money was no object, she was willing to pay $50,000.

Not willing to get into trouble with his wife, Billy Joebob asked the lady to wait while he went in the house and conferred with this wife. In a few minutes he returned and told the lady he was willing to do it.  However, he would have to leave his socks on so he would have some place to wipe his brushes.

~~~

“Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.”

Lauren Bacall

~~~

She said: I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals.  I used to carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”

However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things.  So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.” My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.

~~~

“It is indeed ironic that we spend our school days yearning to graduate and our remaining days waxing nostalgic about our school days.”

Isabel Waxman

~~~

After bumping his head on our stereo cabinet, my 11-year-old-son, Felix, required stitches.  While the doctor was administering a local anesthetic to his head, I started to feel faint, so the nurse offered me a chair.

My son winced with every stitch, and the nurse told him it was okay to cry.  On the way home, my husband asked Felix if he had heard the nurse tell him it was okay to cry.  “Yeah, I heard her,” Felix replied, “but I thought she was talking to Mom.”

~~~

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Jim Carrey

~~~

Doug meets Bill at the bar after work and is once again looking down in the dumps.  “What’s wrong now Doug,” asked Bill.

Doug replies, “They called in a management team and gave everyone in the office an aptitude test to see what they were best suited for.”

“Yeah, so what’s the problem with that?” asks Bill.

Doug sighs, “Well it seems that I am best suited for unemployment.”

~~~

“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”

Elie Wiesel

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Tag Cloud