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True Success

Ray’s Daily

January 12, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life

Wayne Dyer

I was in conversation with a few of my senior resident friends the other day where we discussed how we defined success as we age. Most of the results seemed non-traditionl in so far as they defined success it was not for acquiring material things or external recognition. These good people expressed the importance of their relationship with others and thier never ending investments in themselves as being most meaningful.

The conversations reminded me of the following piece that was sent to me by the Chernoffs.

5 Daily Reminders We Need to Read Every Morning

1. There’s been progress in 2021. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. You’re always growing. Experiences don’t stop. That’s life. And the very experiences that seem so hard when you’re going through them are often the ones you’ll look back on with gratitude for how far you’ve come.

2. You can’t calm the storm and it’s not worth trying. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will pass. Truly, the most powerful changes happen in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over, instead of craving control over everything you don’t.

3. What you pay attention to grows. Stop managing your time, start managing your focus. Practice focusing on what matters, and letting go of what does not.

4. Breathe deep in this moment, reset, and reflect. Remind yourself that the first step to inner peace is letting go of what you assume your journey is supposed to be like right now, and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is.

5. You won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you have to be a priority to yourself. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself, and become a solid part of your own support system. Your needs matter. Start meeting them. Don’t wait on others to choose you. Choose yourself today, and into 2022!

The bottom line is, despite the real world challenges you face, the biggest and most complex obstacle you will ever have to personally overcome is your own mind. In other words, you aren’t responsible for everything that happens to you in life, but you ARE responsible for undoing the self-defeating thinking patterns that these undesirable experiences create.

~~~

If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.

Jim Rohn

~~~

Recently in Traffic Court a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would.

The Judge then said, “Good.  When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you $57. Next…”

~~~

I love giving homemade gifts. Which of my children would you like?

~~~

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Mexicans east a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of fatty food and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion:  Eat, drink and be merry.  Speaking English is what kills

~~~

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

~~~

The Founding Fathers were sitting around a table sometime in 1776, working on the constitution. It had been a long day.

Father1:  Whew! It’s getting rather warm in here, isn’t it?

Father2:  Shall I open the window?

Father1:  No, that’s alright. I’ll just take off my jacket, and roll up my sleeves.

Father2:  Hey, that’s a good idea. Why don’t we include that in the constitution?

Father1:  What? That we’re allowed to take our jackets off and roll up our sleeves while at work?

Father2:  Yeah, but that doesn’t sound very smooth. How about “Everyone shall have the right to bare arms?”

~~~

She said: If the shoe fits……buy a pair in every color.

~~~

He said, as a high school football coach, I’m aware that student athletes tend to focus too much on sports.  Bob, a fellow coach, was talking about one such player, who called him at home one night. When his wife informed the kid that Bob wasn’t home, he became frantic and said he had to speak to the coach right away.

“Just calm down, and I’ll have him call you as soon as he gets home,” the coach’s wife told him.  “What’s your number?”

The flustered kid replied, “Three.”

~~~

What is a success? To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; that is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Excuses

Ray’s Daily

January 11, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“For many people, an excuse is better than an achievement because an achievement, no matter how great, leaves you having to prove yourself again in the future but an excuse can last for life.”

Eric Hoffer

Ray’s Daily first published on January 11, 2006

 ~~~

If you are like I am it is far too easy to use an excuse in order to avoid action, commitment, chores, donations, or any one of the thousands of choices we make in our lifetime. In my mind there are two kinds of excuses that are especially harmful to those of us who use them.

The first is the excuses we use to justify our behavior. Too many of us say things like, “I just can never get up on time” or “I would do it but I am not handy with tools,” once we decide that that is what we are, that will be what we will be. We are never going to do better if we have an excuse not to try. The list is endless, “I don’t want to try Asian cooking because I had some once,” “I don’t go to any of the meetings because I know they are a waste of time,” we could go on and on. The bottom line is that when we excuse ourselves we are really saying is that we are too lazy to try. That’s ok if that is what you want to do, but if you do you will never experience the feeling you get when surprise yourself with what you really can do. An example for me was a long history of avoiding fish, once I eat some because there was no choice I ended up kicking myself for missing something I found I really liked for so long.

The second type of excuse is even worse. Those are the ones we use to rationalize avoiding doing something worthy. Do we really fool anyone when we say things like I never give anything to charity since I know they all just spend the money on the staff, or make some other judgmental proclamation? Or when we say “I never vote, everyone knows voting does not make any difference,” of course when we don’t vote we can blame someone else for electing people we don’t like. Why can’t we just be honest and say I don’t want to donate to charity or that we chose not to get involved in elections or the like? Maybe if we were honest with ourselves we would not be too happy with what we see. But like everything else it is up to us individually to make the choices we make. I just hope that when I make mine that they are not all based on my avoiding doing anything that requires effort.

Oh by the way. I do appreciate people who make white lie excuses in order not to hurt my feelings. I handle “I can’t make it, I have a previous commitment,” much better than I do someone telling me,“Are you kidding me, why would I go with you, I don’t like you.”

~~~

He who excuses himself, accuses himself.

Gabriel Meurier

~~~

Florida

Note: If you are not a resident of FLORIDA or never have lived in hot, humid south Florida, youmay not understand the weight of this blessing!

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.

Please keep it cool in mid-July.

Bless the walls where termites dine

While ants and roaches march in time.

Bless our yard where spiders pass

Fire ant castles in the grass.

Bless the garage, a home to please

Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.

Bless the love bugs, two by two,

The gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.

Millions of creatures that fly or crawl, In FLORIDA, Lord, you’ve put them all!

But this is home, and here we’ll stay,

So thank you Lord, for insect spray.

~~~

She said: All Desirable things in life are either ILLEGAL, BANNED, FATTENING, OR MARRIED TO OTHERS.

~~~

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

~~~

My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.  

~~~

She said: Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband.

When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. “Wow, look at that!” he said with appreciation. “It’s my old Plymouth!”

~~~

Regrets and recriminations only hurt your soul.

Armand Hammer

~~~

THE TODDLER’S RULES

* If it is on, I must turn it off.  

* If it is off, I must turn it on.  

* If it is folded, I must unfold it.  

* If it is liquid, it must be shaken then spilled.  

* If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.  

* If it is high, it must be reached.  

* If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.  

* If it is pointed, it must be run with full speed.  

* If it has leaves, they must be picked.  

* If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.  

* If it is trash, it must be removed, inspected and thrown on the floor.  

* If it is closed, it must be opened.  

* If it does not open, it must be screamed at.  

* If it has drawers, they must be rifled.  

* If it is a pen or pencil, it must write on refrigerator, monitor, TV or table.  

* If it is full, it will be more interesting empty.  

* If it is empty, it must be more interesting full.  

* If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.  

* If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.  

* If it is a paper, it must be torn.  

* If it has switches, they must be pressed.  

* If the volume is low, it must go high.  

* If it is a bug, it must be swallowed. If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.  

* If it is not food, it must be tasted.  

* If it is food, it must not be tasted.  

* If it is dry, it must be made wet.  

~~~

“I’m dating a guy who’s twenty-one. That’s seven in boy years.”

Lisa Goich

~~~

An evangelist had a great revival camp going.  One night he was up in front of a large audience, speaking on imperfection.  He asked his audience towards the end, “Has anyone ever known anyone who has come CLOSE to the perfection of our lord, Jesus Christ?”  Nobody, of course raised their hand.  So he issued the question again.  “Anybody! Has ANYONE ever known that kind of perfection?”

Finally a guy in the back raised his hand, so of course he was asked to stand up. “Tell us.  Tell us who you knew who was so close to perfection.”

The man responded, “My wife’s first husband.”

~~~

“The trick is not how much pain you feel–but how much joy you feel.

Any idiot can feel pain.

Life is full of excuses to feel pain, excuses not to live, excuses, excuses, excuses.”

Erica Jong

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

We Need Them

Ray’s Daily

January 10, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”

Barbara De Angelis.

One of the realities faced by the elderly is the frequent loss of acquaintances, friends and loved ones due to death. While most live full lives and die due to natural causes far too many have passed after bouts of the virus.

In my experience it is the kindness of others that help mitigate our grief. Here is a story that reminded me of the value of those who offer us their support during difficult times.

I Was So Blessed By The Kindness Of A Stranger And I Will Never Forget It

Do you find that sometimes an act of kindness or compassion can so completely take us by surprise, that we don’t notice it’s significance until later – when it’s too late to express our gratitude? It happened to me a couple of months back and I don’t think it would be right to keep it to myself! I was so blessed by the kindness of a stranger and I will never forget it.

In May, my friend died by suicide. We were very close. We had met in hospital when we were being treated for mental illness, so we connected deeply and stayed in contact as support for each other after being discharged. His death was a shock as he seemed to be doing ok. I was gutted. We didn’t have any friends in common so I felt extremely anxious about going to his funeral on my own. However, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. His family contacted me after reading a tribute I wrote and asked if it was OK to have it read out as part of the service, I was honoured.

The day of the funeral was cold, windy and rainy but that didn’t stop hundreds of people turning out. As I stood surrounded by so many strangers, the tears flowed continuously down my face. When I saw his coffin and the pain in the eyes of his parents I began to panic. It was all too much for me to bear, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I needed to escape. I started to look around me for a gap in the crowd, when my eyes met those of a lady about the age of my mum.

She must’ve seen my anxiety, she simply said “You’re here alone too hey?” with a knowing look and a warm smile. All I could do was nod and bite my lip to hold back tears. She said she didn’t know him personally, but she was there on behalf of her daughter who couldn’t attend. She took my hand and said “Don’t worry, just stick with me and we can do this together.” and we did.

She looped her arm through mine, led me into the chapel and found us a seat. She even had extra tissues. As my tribute was read out and I fell apart, she held me tight and whispered “he knew you loved him. He loves you so much.” She held my hand as we made our way to place paper cranes on his coffin and told me I was doing so well. At the end of the service, she walked me out and I thanked her for helping me. Then I left.

When I think back to that day, I wish I could have said more to thank her or shown my appreciation. I really believe she was there for a reason that day. I don’t think I could’ve done it without her and I didn’t even get her name. I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Author Unknown

~~~

“Compassion isn’t about solutions. It’s about giving all the love that you’ve got.”

Cheryl Strayed.

~~~

~~~

The little country store had a sign warning, “Danger! Beware of dog!” Inside, there was a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

“Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” one customer asked the owner.

“Yep, that’s him.”

“That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”

“Before I posted the sign, people kept tripping over him.”

~~~

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

~~~

UPS Airlines

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ‘ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That’s what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget.

~~~

During a bank robbery, the police chief told the sergeant to cover all the exits so that the robbers couldn’t get away.

Later, the sergeant reports to the chief, “Sorry, sir, but they got away.”

The chief, very angry, says, “I told you to cover all the exits!”

“I did,” replied the sergeant, “but they got away through the entrance.”

~~~

“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.”

Franklin Jones

~~~

“I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I’ll put it before any of the things like courage, or bravery, or generosity, or anything else… Kindness—that simple word. To be kind—it covers everything, to my mind. If you’re kind that’s it.”

Roald Dahl

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Learn to let go

Ray’s Daily

January 7, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”

Herman Hesse

Here we go again, it is time to let another week go by. For some of us it is an opportunity to accept what is ond focus of what we can do with the future. The problem is that many of us waste time trying to change things we can’t change, rather than focusing our efforts on things we can do something about.

A while ago Angel Chernoff published a piece on letting go of things we can do nothing about so we can free ourselves to do what really makes a difference. Here is what she wrote:

20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Go of the Uncontrollable

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in your journey. It’s always necessary to accept when some part of your life has reached its inevitable end. Closing the door, completing the chapter, turning the page, etc. – it doesn’t matter what you title it; what matters is that you find the strength to leave in the past those parts of your life that are over.

It’s all about embracing the truth: What has happened is uncontrollable; what you do now changes everything! Of course, knowing this and actually living a lifestyle that reinforces this truth are two very different things. Letting go is NOT easy – it’s a journey that is traveled one day at a time. If you stick with it, here’s what your journey will ultimately teach you:

  • The most powerful changes happen in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over everything you don’t.
  • Most people make themselves unhappy simply by finding it impossible to accept life just as it is presenting itself right now.
  • If you worry too much about what might be, and wonder too long about what might have been, you will ignore and completely miss what is.
  • When you are lost in worry, it is easy to mistake your worries for reality, instead of recognizing that they are just thoughts. Mindfulness is the remedy.
  • The biggest obstacle to growth you’ll ever have to overcome is your mind. Once you can overcome that, you can overcome anything.
  • Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a little while, and that includes YOU.
  • You won’t always have it easy, but there is always a reason to be grateful. And the greatest gift of your gratitude is that the more grateful you are, the more present you become.
  • The secret to getting ahead is to focus all of your energy not on fixing and fighting the old, but on building and growing something new.
  • Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about something or someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only thing you really have control over is yourself in this moment.
  • In most cases, you can’t calm the storm – it’s not worth trying. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will pass.
  • You can always control the way you respond to what happens, and in your response is your power.
  • Oftentimes letting go is simply changing the labels you place on a situation – it’s looking at the same situation with fresh eyes and an open mind.
  • There is absolutely nothing about your present circumstances that prevents you from making progress, one tiny step at a time.
  • The day you “understood” everything, was the day you stopped trying to figure everything out. The day you find peace and freedom again will be the day you let everything go.
  • You must let go of certainty. And you must remember that the opposite of certainty is not uncertainty, it’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace life as it is, rather than resisting it. The ultimate challenge is to accept yourself exactly as you are, and accept life just as it is, but never stop trying to learn and grow to the best of your abilities.
  • Underneath it all, the hardest part is not really letting go, but rather learning to start over.
  • Stepping onto a brand new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation that no longer fits, or no longer exists.
  • Sometimes it takes a little heartbreak to shake you awake, help you let go, and show you that you are worth so much more than you were settling for.
  • When it comes to social drama, letting go of other people’s rude remarks is the best step forward. Most haters don’t really hate you; they just hate where they are in life, and you’re a reflection of what they wish to become.
  • Your heart might be bruised, but it will gradually heal and become capable of feeling the beauty of life once again. It’s happened to you before, and it will happen again – life is always changing. When something ends or someone leaves, it’s because something else or someone else is about to arrive – you will feel alive and whole again soon.

~~~

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

Steve Maraboli

~~~

A millionaire had fallen ill. All the doctors that were consulted did not seem to understand what ailed him. The millionaire let it be known that any doctor who could heal him could have whatever he desired. A country doctor was able to cure him, and as the doctor was leaving after a week’s stay, the rich man said, “Doc! I am a man of my word. You name it, and if it is humanly possible, I’ll get it for you.”

“Well,” said the doctor, “I love to play golf, so if I could have a matching set of golf clubs, that would be fine.” With that, the doctor left. The doctor didn’t hear from the millionaire for some months. Then one day, he got a phone call from him.

“Doc, I bet you thought that I had gone back on my word. I have your matching set of golf clubs. The reason it took so long is that two of them didn’t have swimming pools, and I didn’t think they were good enough for you. So I had pools installed, and they’re all ready for you now!”

~~~

To be satisfied with what one has, that is wealth.

Mark Twain

~~~

A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car.  

“If we decided to live there permanently, away from civilization, what would you miss the most?” he asked his wife.  

She replied, “You.”  

~~~

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

Dolly Parton

~~~

Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoes, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.

“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for”?

“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”

~~~

Times have sure changed. Yesterday a bum asked me if I could spare $2.75 for a double cappuccino with no foam.

Bill Jones

~~~

A woman who works for the state of California got a call from a man who paused when she told him the name of her agency. He then asked her to repeat it. “It’s the Governor’s Office for Elderly Affairs,” she told him again.

There was another pause. “For gosh sakes, sign me up,” he said. “I didn’t do too well when I was young.”

~~~

“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.”

Tony Schwartz

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Enjoy Your Time

Ray’s Daily

January 6, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things

Kenneth Branagh

Beautiful lettering enjoy every moment. T-Shirt Print with starburst.

Ray’s Daily first published on January 6, 2004

Yesterday I talked about the multitude of things I would like to learn, do, and see. I did not mean to sound like I was complaining; I do enjoy the fact that I have so many choices. I doubt that even if I had started when I was a teen that I would ever do everything that interests me. I did allude to the fact that naps were one of my choices. I also recommend day-dreaming and unleashing your imagination, for it is there we often find the beginnings of a new adventure. The problem is the fact we often just dream and find all the reasons not to turn some our dreams into reality. Next time why not stop and ask yourself why not instead of automatically saying no to yourself. If you dream about how great laying on a warm beach would be, think about when and how you might do it.

I have often thought that the best time to take a vacation was when you had every reason not to do so. Too much work to do, too many things to do, and so on. Sometimes we are so busy that we don’t realize that we need a break. I think the same principle applies in other ways, like an old friend often says, “If you think you can’t, your right.” So enjoy, if you don’t you will miss a lot.

~~~

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”

J. Lubbock

~~~

MEMO

To: All Hospital Staff

From: Administration/Groundskeeping

Subject: New Cost Cutting Measures

Effective immediately, this hospital will no longer provide security. Each charge nurse will be issued a .38 caliber revolver and 12 rounds of ammunition. An additional 12 rounds will be stored in pharmacy. In addition to routine nursing duties, Charge Nurses will rotate the patrolling of the hospital grounds. A bicycle and helmet will be provided for patrolling the parking areas.

In light of the similarity of monitoring equipment, ICU will now take over the security surveillance duties. The ward clerk will be responsible for watching cardiac monitors and security monitors as well as regular duties.

Food service will be discontinued. Patients wishing to be fed will need to let their families know to bring something or may make arrangements with Subway or Pizza Hut to deliver. Coin-operated telephones will be available in patient rooms for this purpose as well as for other calls the patient may wish to make.

Housekeeping and Physical Therapy will be combined. Mops will be issued to those patients who are ambulatory, thus providing range of motion exercises as well as a clean environment.  Families and ambulatory patients may also sign up to clean the rooms of non-ambulatory patients for special discounts on their final bill. Time cards will be provided.

As you can see on the “from” line above, hospital administration is assuming the grounds keeping duties. If an administrator cannot be reached by calling his/her office, it is suggested that you walk outside and listen for the sound of a lawn mower, weed-whacker, etc.

Maintenance is being eliminated. The hospital has subscribed to the Time-Life “How to…” series of maintenance books. These can be checked out from administration, and a toolbox will be standard equipment on all nursing units.

We will be receiving the series at a rate of one volume every other month. We already have the volume on “Basic Wiring,” but if a non-electrical problem occurs, please try to handle it as best you can until the appropriate volume arrives.

Cutbacks in phlebotomy staff will be accommodated by only performing blood-related tests on patients who are already bleeding.

Physicians will be informed that they may order no more than two X-rays per patient stay. This is due to the turnaround time required by Photomat. Two prints will be provided for the price of one, and physicians are being advised to clip coupons from the Sunday paper if they want extra sets. Photomat will also honor competitors coupons for one-hour processing in emergency situations, so if you come across any extra coupons please clip out and send these to ER.

In view of the hot summer temperatures, the Utilities Dept. has been asked to install individual meters in each patient room, office, etc., so that electrical consumption can be monitored and appropriately billed. Fans will be available for sale or lease in the hospital gift shop.

In addition to the current recycling programs, a bin for collection of unused fruit and bread will soon be provided on each floor.

Families, patients, and the few remaining employees are asked to contribute discarded produce. Pharmacy will utilize this for antibiotic production. These will be available for purchase and, coincidentally, will soon be the only antibiotics on our HMO’s formulary.

~~~

If you find in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.

Maya Angelou

~~~

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests.

First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.

“Bloomingdales!” the rabbi exclaimed. “Why Bloomingdales?”

“Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.”

~~~

Chicago O’Hare Airport Control Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”

Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We all have digital watches!”

~~~

Readers of William Safire’s “On Language” column in THE NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE were asked to give sports-related definitions for common words:

  • Superficial:  A really good referee
  • Beleaguered:  Stuck in the semi pros
  • Hermit:  Girl’s baseball glove
  • Saturnine:  Baseball team that plays on weekends
  • Truncate:  Tailgate party given by a compact-car owner
  • Wrinkle:  A small hockey arena
  • Haiku:  Signal to center from a Japanese quarterback 

~~~

One discovers a friend by chance, and cannot but feel regret that 20 or 30 years of life may have been spent without the least knowledge of him.

Charles Dudley Warner

~~~

Jane says that there are seven stages to the married cold

Stage 1: Sugar Dumpling, I’ve really been worried about my baby girl. That’s a bad sniffle, and there’s no telling about these things with all the strep that’s going around. I’m going to put you in the hospital for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the food’s terrible, but I’m going to bring you dinner every night from Rosini’s. I have it all arranged with the floor supervisor.

Stage 2: Listen, Darling, I don’t like the sound of that cough. I’m going to call Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl just for Papa.

Stage 3: Maybe you’d better lie down, Honey. Nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy. I’ll bring you something. Do we have any canned soup?

Stage 4: Now look, Dear, be sensible. After you’ve fed the kids, and gotten the dishes done, and the floor mopped, you’d better lie down for a while.

Stage 5: Why don’t you take a couple of aspirins?

Stage 6: Why don’t you just gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a seal all evening?

Stage 7: Would you stop coughing on me? Are you trying to give me pneumonia?

~~~

“It is not how much we do, but how much love we put into doing it.

It is not how much we give, but how  much love we put into giving.”

Mother Teresa

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Hug Life

Ray’s Daily

January 5,2022

http://rays-daily.com

“The life you want begins by embracing the life you have.”

Rob Bell     

We live in a complicated world these days. Some of us seem to feel that coping is so difficult that they almost give up. Think we all would do well to simplify our lives and concentrate on our basic needs and our happiness. I have decided that enjoying the time I have left with mywife, family and so many of you is what I value most. I can’t cure the ills of the world but I can adapt and appreciate what I have.

The following story reminded me that we each get to decide if we want to hug our lives or flounder in the chaos around us.

Hugging Life

It was time to break free. I needed to run away and this seasonal change here in Pennsylvania, offered the best place to go. It’s time for the Bloomsburg Fair.

I don’t know if you can call it running away since it is only an hour away from my home. But once I cross through ‘Gate 5’ and enter the fair grounds, I cross over into another world. The loudspeaker offers background music barely audible over the sounds of people talking, carnival game hucksters and food venders vying for your attention.

I belong here. I don’t know if I have it in my blood or not, but I always wanted to have a small food stand and travel in my off season from fair to fair selling goodies. Perhaps one day. It certainly isn’t a priority in my life. Perhaps it should be. After I’m there awhile, I need to get away to a quiet spot on the fair grounds. Most of the time I can find that any where the farm animals are kept.

They need the quiet. Milk production goes down in the dairy barns I am told if there is too much ruckus. So I go there to find peace with the cows, goats, horses, pigs and yes, the turkeys. You’d think being this close to ‘Thanksgiving’ they’d be a little on edge, but they are not.

It was in the dairy barn where I found my oasis this time. I so admire the young folks who tend to farm animals. I think they have a greater appreciation for life. They participate in it firsthand. I’ve watched a young boy help bring a calf into the world and I have seen a young girl walk her prize cow through the line of animals for sale, knowing that her job is done and it’s time for it to leave home. It must be difficult.

My favourite scene is to come across a young person lying in the hay asleep among the cows that have settled down for a rest. There, with their heads nestled in a small soft spot along side their favorite cow, I have seen them in a much deserved sleep. Perhaps better at rest there than in their own bed. I had the pleasure of speaking with a young teenage farm girl at rest today.

‘You look so comfortable,’ I said to her.

‘Oh I am,’ she said. ‘Life makes it comfortable for me.’

‘You mean being a farm girl?’

‘No, Life! That’s the name of my cow,’ she said smiling as she stroked the cows side.

‘I thought they called cows Betsy and Elsie. Why did you call her Life?’

‘I discovered life again here. It was the only sensible name that came to mind,’ she said.

‘I had been raised in the big city and really hated it. Then we moved to the country. Kinda running away from it all. I think my parents called it a mid-life crisis,’ she said laughing.

‘Boy, I can relate to that. I’ve been in one since birth,’ I said.

‘It was on the farm that I learned to love life again. I was there when Life was born. It was so exciting. My whole outlook on the world changed. So I named her Life. Now, I can say I really love Life,’ she said.

‘How incredible. You know I write stories and I am always trying to get people to embrace life. To wake up each day expecting the best from it. But they all too often go to bed with so much bad stuff in their soul, and on their mind, that they wake up miserable and expect it to only get worse from there. All too often it does, just because that’s all they choose to see in that otherwise perfectly beautiful day,’ I told her.

‘That’s too bad. They need to see a cow born, a chicken hatch. I guess they need to wake up early and hug life!’ she said laughing.

‘When was the last time you hugged Life?’ she asked me.

‘I am sorry to say even I have had trouble doing that lately,’ I said.

‘Come here!’ she said.

Then standing up and stepping aside she said, ‘Go ahead… hug Life!’

I paused for a moment and dropping all thoughts of looking silly, I did. I hugged a cow. 

Written by Bob Perks

~~~

“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.”

Deepak Chopra

~~~

A Western Buddhist woman was in India, studying with her teacher. She was riding with another woman friend in a rickshaw-like carriage, when they were attacked by a man on the street. In the end, the attacker only succeeded in frightening the women, but the Buddhist woman was quite upset by the event and told her teacher so. She asked him what she should have done – what would have been the appropriate, Buddhist response.

The teacher said very simply, “You should have very mindfully and with great compassion whacked the attacker over the head with your umbrella.”

~~~

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

~~~

Dear Diary… For my birthday present this year, Phil (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my high school softball team (let’s say over 30 years ago and leave it at that), I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer I’ll call Bruce, who identified himself as a 26 year old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. Phil seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

Monday:

Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Bruce waiting for me. He is something of a Greek God – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Bruce gave me a tour and showed me the machines. He took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. He was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring. Bruce was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!

Tuesday:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Bruce made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air –then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Bruce’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It’s a whole new life for me.

Wednesday:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Bruce was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Bruce put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Bruce told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.

Thursday:

Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Bruce took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the men’s room. He sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine — which I sank.

Friday:

I hate that bastard Bruce more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Bruce wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the *@*#$ barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which I am sure you learned in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude from.)

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

Saturday:

Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the *$@# Weather Channel.

Sunday:

I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year Phil (the Beast) will choose a gift for me that is fun — like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

~~~

Getting people to like you is the other side of liking them.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M., on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent.

He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, “I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself.”

The boss said, “And to roll down two flights of stairs took you an entire hour?”

~~~

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

~~~

A friend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe in Huntington Beach, CA. Our waitress looked like a real surfer girl:  athletic with a great tan and blond hair. Mulling over the menu, my friend asked her if the roast beef was rare.

The waitress gave us a long blank look, and then replied, “Well, no.  We have it, like, just about every day.”

~~~

“I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it.  I said, ‘Thyroid problem?'”

~~~

A little boy took his dog on a “take your pet to school” day. There were prizes for the smallest, the prettiest, the cutest, and the smartest pet. Determined that his dog win a prize, the boy put his pet through a whole series of tricks.

Finally the boy turned to the dog and asked, “Mindy, how much is two plus two minus four?”

The dog sat quietly, making no sound, remaining still and silent.

“Right!” exclaimed the boy.

His dog won first prize.

~~~

“It’s not complicated to embrace life. You just have to make the choice.”

Faith Hill                                    

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Ray’sBack

My computer crashed a few weeks ago and I did not get it back up until yesterday. I am now in the process of clearing hundreds of e-mails. In the meantime I am sending you the Daily I planned on sending the day of the crash. I should have the Daily back on a regular schedule soon.

Ray

Ray’s Daily

December 15, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

HAPPINESS IS…

taking in all the wonders of life —

its joys,

its sorrows,

its sunshine,

its smiles —

learning from the experiences each one brings you,

and then, from a caring heart,

giving them all away again.

Author Unknown

Ray’s Daily first published on December 15, 2006

They say ‘tis the season to be jolly, so why not be happy, you can be you know. I think most of us are basically happy, that is until we talk ourselves into why we are not. If we spent more time appreciating what we have and less time wanting the things we don’t have we would have more time to see what we do have, family, friends, lovers, and those that smile at us who we often never see.

 Stop and think about those around you, those who are so often taken for granted because they are always there. It might serve you well to see them as a stranger so that you can appreciate them for the gifts they give to you each day. I would gladly trade a shiny new sports car for what I get from others, for the greatest gift I ever got is the people that care for me, they are my happiness.

It seems to me happiness is ninety percent personal choice and only ten percent luck. Here are some investments you can make in your own happiness.

  • Compliment 3 people everyday!
  • Watch a sunrise
  • Be the first to say “hello”
  • Treat everyone as you want to be treated
  • Live beneath your means
  • Forget the Joneses
  • Never give up on anybody ~ miracles happen!
  • Remember someone’s name
  • Be kinder than you have to be
  • Wish not for things, but for wisdom and courage
  • Be tough-minded, but tender hearted
  • Don’t forget that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated
  • Keep your promises
  • Leave everything better than you found it
  • Show cheerfulness even when you don’t feel it
  • Remember that winners do what losers don’t want to do
  • Remember that overnight success usually takes 15 years
  • When you arrive at your job in the morning, let the first thing you say brighten everyone’s day
  • Don’t rain on other people’s parades
  • Don’t waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them!

I don’t know who wrote this but I honestly believe that if we all did it every day we would not have to look for happiness, it would find us.

~~~

When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.

The Dalai Lama

~~~

A seven year old boy was at the center of Chicago courtroom drama this week when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.  

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.  

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents, and he adamantly refused to live with her.  

When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.  

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Chicago Cubs, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.  

~~~

Q.  What is worse than being a bachelor?

A.  Being a Bachelor’s son.

~~~

Top Ten Signs You’re Being Stalked by Martha Stewart

10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they’re all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.

9. You find a lemon slice in the dog’s water bowl.

8. On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen licorice downspout and the half-open graham cracker garage door.

7. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon, rose petal & saffron demi-glace’, with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a delicate mint-fennel sauce.

6. The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even after you leave the bathroom.

5. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into a swan.

4. No matter “where” you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster fork.

3. Twice this week you’ve been the victim of a drive-by doilying.

2. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in every orifice.

AND THE NUMBER 1 Sign You’re Being Stalked by Martha Stewart…

1. You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.

~~~

People who live well are experts at giving. They give their money; they give their time. They share their wisdom and their skills. They quickly say yes when asked to help. For them…to give is to love and to love is to live. It’s a formula for a successful life.

Steve Goodier

~~~

Wendy was waiting her turn at the bakery, when she heard a prospective bride give the cake decorator a hard time as she previewed her wedding cake. She demanded many extras and was critical of the work he’d done so far. After she left, he muttered, “I’m glad I put my special golden award on this cake. That young woman is sure eligible for it.”

Curious, Wendy studied the cake closely, but saw nothing.

Finally the decorator pointed to the tiny bridegroom atop the cake with his tiny bride and there it was. Barely visible was the “golden award”, a tiny wedding ring, inserted in the groom’s nose.

~~~

Streakers beware: Your end is in sight!

~~~

According to experts at the National Institute of Mental Health, depressed people die much sooner than everyone else. Well, that’s just what depressed people need to hear! That should cheer them up!

Jay Leno

~~~

The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend.

I have no wealth to bestow on him.

If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward.

Is not friendship divine in this?

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Be Happy

Ray’s Daily

December 14, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.

Bob Dylan

I have met a wide range of folks over the years. Some of them have held high ranking positions in their fields, but for many true happiness has eluded them. While I respect those in high position I relate most to those who have learned to accept life as it is while retaining a bright outlook. It is the positive folks that I enjoy the most. Our best measure of personal success is how happy we are with ourselves.

Here is an article written by Marc Chernoff that defines true success.

Stop Keeping Score. Happiness is the True Measure of Success.

Too many people try to numerically measure success.  Most of these numbers relate to wealth, age, intelligence, and seniority.  The problem with trying to numerically calculate success is that it doesn’t account for personal feelings, thoughts, and general happiness.  That which makes one person happy does not necessarily make everyone happy.  Thus, the qualities that make one person successful do not automatically represent a universal measure for success.

As tragic as it is, you must keep in mind that some of the most famous, wealthy intellects fall victim to addictions and suicide.  Why?  Because even though these folks possess numerous quantifiable elements that society typically uses to measure success, nobody can accurately estimate how they truly feel about their personal lives.

Take away all the excess minutiae.  You cannot be successful if you are unhappy, and happiness cannot be measured in numbers.  It is impossible keep an accurate score of success when the game is based on personal feelings and beliefs.  The key is to realize that success is multidimensional.  Just because someone is visibly successful at something they do, does not always mean that they are successful in life as a whole.

To be truly successful you must never suck it up to being unhappy for extensive periods of time.  Life is just too short for that kind of sacrifice.

~~~

Success is not in what you have, but who you are.

Bo Bennett

~~~

Speaking of ways to live our lives, here are some alternatives that you might want to consider.
Follow your dream! Unless it’s the one where you’re at work in your underwear during a fire drill.
If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
Each day enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group and the “What-ever- the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is.”

~~~
She said: All men are idiots… I married their King.
~~~

Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store.  Pete says to the salesman, “We really like it, but I don’t think we can afford it.”

The salesman says, “You just make a small down payment.  Then you don’t make another payment for six months.”
Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and says, “Who told you about us?”

~~~

A newly married man asks his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
“Darling,” the woman replies sweetly, “I’d have married you no matter who left a you a fortune.”

~~~
A lot of trouble in this world is caused by combining a narrow mind with a wide mouth.
~~~

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, “We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41.”

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.

So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: “Thank you for participating in Delta’s physical fitness program.”

~~~

A reporter was interviewing a 104-year-young woman. “And what do you think is the best thing about 104?” the journalist asked.

“No peer pressure,” she replied.

~~~

Differences Between You and Your Boss…
When you take a long time, you’re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough…
When you don’t do it, you’re lazy.
When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy…
When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human…
When doing something without being told, you’re overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that’s initiative…
When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he’s being firm…
When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you’re being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he’s being original…
When you please your boss, you’re apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he’s being co-operative…
When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he’s on business…
When you’re on a day off sick, you’re always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill…
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it’s because he’s overworked…

~~~

A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she’s going to exchange it for.

~~~

A man goes to the track and sees a Priest blessing a horse before a race and quickly goes to the ticket window and bets. The horse wins. He watches the Priest carefully for the next four races, and continues to win, until he has quite a small fortune. He decides to bet it all on one last race.

Before the horse crosses the finish line however, it drops dead. The man rushes up to the Priest, confronts him with what he’s seen and demands an explanation.

The Priest just shakes his head sadly and says, “That’s one of the problems with you Protestants. You don’t know the difference between a blessing and the last rites.”

~~~

In times of prosperity men ask too little of God. In times of adversity, they ask too much.
~~~

Top brass from the Army, Navy and Marine Corps were arguing about who had the bravest troops. They decided to settle the dispute using an enlisted man from each branch.

The Army General called a private over and ordered him to climb to the top of the base flagpole while singing “The Caissons Go Rolling Along,” then let go with both hands, and salute. The private quickly complied.

Next, the Admiral ordered a sailor to climb the pole, polish the brass knob at the top, sing “Anchors Aweigh,” salute smartly and jump off. The sailor did as he was told and landed on the concrete below.

Finally, the marine was told to do exactly as the army and navy men had done, but in full battle gear, pack filled with bricks, loaded weapon carried high. He took one look at the Marine General and said, “You’re out of your mind, sir!”

The marine commander turned to the others. “Now THAT’S guts!”

~~~

Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.

Maya Angelou

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Don’t Give Up

Ray’s Daily

December 13, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.”

Jesse Owens

I occasionally run into someone who has given up on life. They find the journey to be too tough. I have learned that while aging is not easy it is still worth living. Those I admire the most are those who not only handle adversity but are strengthened by it.

Here is a story in that vein, I don’t know who wrote it but it reminds me of many of the folks I appreciate.

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.

One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours

as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole. Then it stopped, as if it couldn’t go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily but it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it, expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the body, Neither happened! In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand:

The restricting cocoon and the struggle required by the butterfly to get through the opening was a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings so that it would be ready for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us. We will not be as strong as we could have been and we would never fly.

~~~

“If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”

Gandhi

~~~

She said: I had put in an 18-hour day at work and was upset to find my four-year-old Zack asleep in bed with my husband when I got home. Zack squirms so much it is impossible to get a decent night’s sleep when he is with us. Exhausted, I collapsed into his bed instead, where I slept better than I had in years. The next morning, I asked my husband, “Why was Zack in bed with you?”

“Oh,” he replied, shrugging, “he wet his bed, and I was too tired to change his sheets.”

~~~

To attract men, I wear a perfume called “New Car Interior.”

Rita Rudner

~~~

Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway.  Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.

A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale.

“No,” replied the gentleman, “my son just bought his first car and right now he’s getting ready for a big date.”

“So what’s with all the stuff?” asked the neighbor.

“Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him.”

~~~

Make someone happy today. Mind your own business.

~~~

Jill: What’s wrong, Mary?

Mary: I’m tired! I’ve been out seven nights in a row. I’m having too much fun!

Jill: Maybe you should get married again.

~~~

Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Maine. To enforce that rule, the management posted this notice: “Shoes are required to eat in this cafeteria.”  

Next to it, a student added, “Socks can eat wherever they want.”  

~~~

Marriage is like a tango. . .  it takes two, and occasionally one has to bend over backward to keep the dance going.

~~~

OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE FROM KIDS

“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘The Simpsons’ is on television.” (Anita, 6)  

“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.” (Bobby, 8)  

“I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.” (Regina, 10)  

THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER

“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” (Ava, 8)  

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

“Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” (Del, 6)  

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” (Alonzo, 9)  

“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” (Bart, 9)  

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?

“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” (John, 9)  

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” (Brad, 8)  

“It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts are…on fire.” (Christine, 9)  

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY “I LOVE YOU”

“The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.” (Michelle, 9)  

HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS

“You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you.” (Doug, 7)  

“It might help to watch soap operas all day.” (Carin, 9)  

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

“It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That’s why I stopped doing it.” (Jean, 10)  

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE

“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” (Tom, 7)  

“Don’t forget your wife’s name…That will mess up the love.” (Roger, 8)  

“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” (Randy, 8)  

~~~

“If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a LOT of time dealing with a life you DON’T want.”

Kevin Ngo

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Live a Good Life

Ray’s Daily

December 10, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

Jose Luis Borges

After all the life we want is up to us. It is the things we do that determines how how good our life becomes. I know that in my case happiness comes from the quality of my day to day efforts.

Today I offer you the following abridged ways to a more rewarding existence.

Rules for a better way to live

Rule One . . . – Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you … with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.

Rule Two . . . for a better way to live – Today, and every day, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do.

Rule Three . . . – Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don’t look back at it too long. Mistakes are life’s way of teaching you. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth.

Rule Four . . . – Always reward your long hours of labour and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children.

Rule Five . . . – Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Never consider yourself defeated again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life’s blueprint. Smile!

Rule Six . . . -Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress.

Rule Seven . . . – While life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success.

Rule Eight . . . – Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!

Rule Nine . . . – Live this day as if it will be your last. Forget yesterday’s defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. All you have. Make it the best day of your year.

Rule Ten . . . – Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.

Rule Eleven . . . – Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.

Rule Twelve . . . – Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things.

Rule Thirteen . . . – Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self- starter. Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.

Rule Fourteen . . . – You will achieve a grand dream, a day at a time, so set goals for each day — not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow.

Rule Fifteen . . . – Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it.

Rule Sixteen . . . – Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valley you must traverse. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.

Rule Seventeen . . . – Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug.

Written by Og Mandino

~~~

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each is to succeed.

Corita Kent

~~~

A friend of mine was lecturing in Latin America. He was going to use a translator, but to identify with his audience, he wanted to begin his talk by saying in Spanish, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.”

He arrived at the auditorium a little early and realized he did not know the Spanish words for ladies and gentlemen. Being rather resourceful, he went to the part of the building where the restrooms were, looked at the signs on the two doors and memorized those two words.

When the audience arrived and he was introduced, he stood up and said in Spanish, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.”

The audience was shocked. He didn’t know whether he had offended them or perhaps, they hadn’t heard him or understood him. So, he decided to repeat it. Again in Spanish, he said, “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.”

One person in the audience began to snicker. Pretty soon the entire audience was laughing. Finally, someone told him that he had said, “Good evening, bathrooms and broom closets!”

~~~

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.

~~~

I learned a lesson in marketing from a man who bought an old boat, a trailer and a motor from me.

“Thanks,” he said as he loaded them up. “I’m planning to resell them.”

Good luck, I thought. I had been trying to get rid of them for months. But when I ran into him a few weeks later, he’d sold everything.

“How did you manage that”? I marveled.

“I took out an ad: ‘Heavy-duty boat trailer with free boat.’ When the buyer came to get it, I asked if he had a motor. He said no. I told him I happened to have one in my garage. Bought that, too!”

~~~

“It’s the tragedy of the world that no one knows what he doesn’t know — and the less a man knows, the more sure he is that he knows everything.”  

Joyce Cary

~~~

What Not To Say To A Cop

1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.  

2. Sorry, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t on.  

3. Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?  

4. Hey, you must have been going 125 mph just to keep up with me!  

5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.  

6. Bad cop! No donut!  

7. You’re gonna check the trunk, aren’t you?  

8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school instead.  

9. I pay your salary.  

10. That’s terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.  

11. Is that a 9mm? It’s nothing compared to this .44 magnum!  

12. What do you mean, have I been drinking? You’re a trained specialist?  

13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.  

14. That gut doesn’t inspire too much confidence; bet I can outrun you.  

15. Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?  

16. Is it true people become cops because they’re too dumb to work at McDonald’s?  

17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.  

18. Yes, I know there are no other cars around–That’s how far they are ahead of me.  

~~~

The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention.

Unknown

~~~

A woman went into a bank to get a check cashed, but she didn’t have an account with them. When the teller asked for some identification, the woman showed her several charge cards, her social security card and a current library card.

The teller told her they needed a driver’s license, but the woman said she didn’t have one.

“Don’t you have anything with your picture on it?” the teller asked, politely.

“Oh, sure,” she said, as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet.

Pointing to the people in the picture she says proudly,

“See right here….that’ s me in the back row.”

~~~

Nobody can be just like me. Even I have trouble.

~~~

A minister in a little church had been having trouble with the collections.  

One Sunday he announced, “Now, before we pass the collection plate, I would like to request that the person who stole the chickens from Farmer Condill’s henhouse please refrain from giving any money to the Lord.  The Lord doesn’t want money from a thief!”  

The collection plate was passed around, and for the first time in months everybody gave.  

~~~

You choose the life you live. If you don’t like it, it’s on you to change it because no one else is going to do it for you.

Kim Kiyosaki

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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