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Stay Passionate

Ray’s Daily

June 20, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose.”

T.D. Jakes

Yesterday, fathers day, I was with my three children and again realized what a wonderful gift my wife had given us with their births. They have grown into accomplished adults and have helped my wife and me to age as gracefully as possible.

All three have accomplished a lot over the years. I hope they realize just how good they are. Too many folks I know never do. The following story should remind you of how good you are.

The brilliant you, released!

You’re a remarkable person. But, you knew that already. Still, buried among apathy, unbelief and inhibition, is the brilliant “you” waiting to be released. You already knew that, too.

A few disappointments here, several temporary defeats there, and POOF! just like that, you settled for being a risk-conscious, opportunity: self-denied, generality. Nobody has ever made any progress by standing still. You’re not an exception; and you’re not alone. In fact, you have plenty of company. But, why settle for a life that looks like just about everyone else’s? Do something magnificent with your God-given gifts and boldly distinguish yourself from the masses. Decide-on this day-to connect with your brilliance, within.

Paramount in your quest for brilliance is the personal development and daily utilization of your talents and abilities. As a matter of fact, it’s required. It’s not necessary to be perfect. Striving for excellence in everything you do is enough to release your brilliance.

Trust me. You were not born to be “mild.” So cut it out! There’s an entire universe out there starving for your gifts. How long will you continue to wait to take those last four classes needed for your degree? What career have you just been “wishing it were so” about? If all you can see is yourself remaining 16 units short of your degree, how can you possibly prepare for an exciting future? If you can’t believe for a meaningful vocation now, will you have the passion to believe for one later?

Challenge yourself. Commit to do just two things this hour that will untap your brilliance. Revamp your resume; make a phone call to your advisor. Even a modest amount of brilliance unreleased, would relay the message to your brain: “Wow, she’s serious!”

Ignite your passion. Inhale, then excel. Stand and deliver! See, then be!

Your life matters. Visualize your brilliance totally released. Then boldly, step into the vision.

Written by Fran Briggs

~~~

“It is obvious that we can no more explain a passion to a person who has never experienced it than we can explain light to the blind.”

T. S. Eliot

~~~

Morris returns from a long business trip and finds out that his wife has been unfaithful during his time away.

“Who was it!!!???” he yells. “Goldstein?”

“No,” replied his wife. “It wasn’t Goldstein.”

“Was it Feldman, that dirty old man?”

“No, not him.”

“Aha! Then it must have been that idiot Rabinovich!”

“No, it wasn’t Rabinovich either…”

Morris was now fuming. “What’s the matter?” he cried. “None of my friends are good enough for you?”

~~~

Sign in a cafeteria: “Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.”

~~~

         Florida blessing

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.

Please keep it cool in mid-July.

Bless the walls where termites dine,

while ants and roaches march in time.

Bless our yard where spiders pass

fire ant castles in the grass.

Bless the garage, a home to please

carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.

Bless the love bugs, two by two,

the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.

Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,

in Florida, Lord, you’ve put them all!!

But this is home, and here we’ll stay,

So thank you Lord, for insect spray.

~~~

When standing in a long lineup why do we feel so much better when somebody comes and stands behind us?

~~~

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”

~~~

Haddon was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant.

The judge ordered Haddon, “You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can.”

After a time, Haddon re-entered the courtroom alone.

When the judge asked where the defendant had gone, Haddon replied, “You asked me to give him good advice. I found out that he was guilty, so I told him to split.”

~~~

There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.

Robert Byrne

~~~

A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by the child’s kindness, and gave her the required sum. “There you are, my dear,” said the mother. “But, tell me, isn’t the lady able to work any more?”

“Oh yes,” came the reply. “She sells candy.”

~~~

A South African doctor wrote about an epitaph he had seen in a local cemetery: In memory of my father: gone to join his appendix, his tonsils, his olfactory nerve, a kidney, an eardrum, and a leg prematurely removed by an intern who needed the experience.

~~~

Murphy’s Technology Law #16: Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

~~~

You Know You’re Trailer Trash If…

* The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

* You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

* You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.

* Jack Daniel’s makes your list of “most admired people”.

* You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

* You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

* Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

* Your junior prom had a daycare.

* The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

* You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

* You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

* You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.

* You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

~~~

“Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.”

Niels Bohr

~~~

Boating Tips

Always stay at least five boat-lengths behind the whale in front of you.

While sinking to the bottom of a lake or ocean, screaming does not help.

When boating, always wear a swimsuit with suspenders. This makes it easier on the guys with the grapling hook when they’re trying to retrieve your body.

Drowning can cause severe shortness of breath. And you don’t even want to think about what it does to your complexion.

Always wear a life jacket in case you fall overboard. Also, it’s a good idea to take along something to read, in case you’re swallowed by a whale. Most whales seem to enjoy Moby Dick.

Boating while intoxicated is not illegal in some states, but it’s stupid in all of them.

~~~

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.

~~~

A group of men sat around the pot-bellied stove in the country store, discussing the mysteries of life. “I’m going deaf and blind,” sighed one old fellow. “I don’t know what the good Lord wants to leave me here for.”

“Now, Mr. McCain,” replied his friend, “the Lord’s ways are not our ways, and we can’t always understand. But if He’s left you here He’s got work for you to do.”

Mr. McCain sat for a minute in quiet meditation, then announced, “Well, I’m not a-gonna do it.”

~~~

“If you feel like there’s something out there that you’re supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.”

Wanda Skyes

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Enjoy Your Life

Ray’s Daily

June 17, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.

Earl Nightingale

Ray’s Daily first published on June 17, 2005

~~~

What did they say, “Stop and Smell the Roses,” I would like to add that it is perfectly alright to chose the work or life path that takes you through the most rose gardens. I would much rather trade off a little bit of income or title for more of life’s pleasures. In our early years we stay busy; it is a time when we are still learning who we are and what pleases us. As time goes by we have more and more opportunity to pick a more pleasurable path for ourselves, but too often we are carried on by the tide and just go with the flow. Finally we reach the point in our lives where we can be selective and choose to do what gives us the most pleasure, unfortunately too many have lost the ability to know what would give them enjoyment much less choosing something to enjoy. Part of the problem is that we often look for that unbelievable fantasy fulfillment event that will make up for all the opportunities we missed, when we could be finding pleasure in the moment, the little things we do, the people we meet everyday, and so much more.

In my case I get great pleasure from escaping into a book. I also like spending hours with someone new, we often find something that we have in common and get mutual pleasure in the sharing. I like BBQ, movies, learning new things, talking to five year olds (they are so much smarter and fun than we think they are), and cruising. The list is too long to put it all here but you get the idea. Of course there are lots of things I don’t like, I either don’t do them or don’t pay attention to them.

Can you put a list together? A list that helps you to appreciate your day-to-day pleasurable experiences and that includes the things you could do if you just let yourself do them. If you can, why not do it now, you might find that you will be glad you did.

~~~

Live and work but do not forget to play, to have fun in life and really enjoy it.

Eileen Caddy

~~~

An effusive client brought a litter of golden-retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming.  She loved them so much, she couldn’t keep from remarking about their cute habits.

As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the ‘treated’ ones from the rest. So I came up with a quick solution. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog’s head when I had finished.

After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent.  As I sprinkled the last pup’s head, the woman leaned forward and whispered,

“Gee, doctor, I never realized you performed baptisms also!”

~~~

“I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!”

Tom Lehrer

~~~

Jack forced himself to open his eyes.  The first thing he saw was a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack then looks over, and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He notices that the entire room is in perfect order, Spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirin, and cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. There’s a note on the table:

“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping–Love you!”

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son…what happened last night?”

“Well, you came home after 3 A.M.., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”

“So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh… THAT!…

Well, mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to undress you, you screamed, “Leave me alone, lady, I’m married!”

~~~

Happiness does not come from doing what you want, but wanting what you do.

~~~

YOU KNOW IT’S A “NO FRILLS” AIRLINE WHEN …

* They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances.  

* All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.  

* Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.  

* You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.  

* Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.  

* The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.  

* When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.  

* The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.  

* You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he says, “Just once.”  

* No movie. Don’t need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.  

* You see a man with a gun, but he’s demanding to be let off the plane.  

* All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.  

~~~

We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.

When the loyal opposition dies, I think the soul of America dies with it.

Edward R. Murrow

This message still rings true, especially when you realize that the loyal opposition may soon have the power and then we become the loyal opposition.

Ray

~~~

Tom had never been on a fishing boat before, and he was now thinking it was the stupidest thing he’d ever done in his life. Who would ever have believed that seasickness could be this awful? With every pitch and roll, Tom wondered how he was going to survive the remaining two hours of the trip.

One of the deckhands came up to him and said, “Don’t worry, young fella. Nobody ever died of seasickness.”

“You’ve just taken away my last hope for relief,” Tom said.

~~~

On the phone with a golf buddy who has asked him to play, a guy says: “I am the master of my home and can play golf whenever I want. But hold on a minute while I find out if I want to.”  

~~~

A burglar alarm sent out its piercing wail in the dark of a December night in Brooklyn, and the police arrived just in time to collar the burglar, Morris Spiegel, as he was leaving the premises with a big bag full of loot.  Soon, he was in court, facing a grim-looking judge.

“Did you have an accomplice?” asked the judge.

“What’s an accomplice?” replied Morris.

“A partner.  In other words, did you commit this crime by yourself?”

“What else?” demanded the culprit.  “You can’t get honest and reliable help these days?”

~~~

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

~~~

Our family held a reunion when my mother was 88 years old, with grandchildren and great-grandchildren attending. The talk turned to honeymoons, and my three daughters began to tell about their trips to Las Vegas, Chicago, and Niagara Falls. One of my daughters turned to my mother.

“Grandma, where did you go on your honeymoon?” she asked.

Mother never hesitated. “Upstairs!” she said.

~~~

Love What You Do.

Do What You Love.

Wayne Dyer

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

It’s Too Hot

Ray’s Daily

June 16, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.

Dalai Lama

Greetings from torid Indiana where it is unseasonable hot. If you are like I am you are greatful for air-conditioning. It is like everything else we need to find the solution to minimize our discomforts. So often our happiness relies on our taking action.

Here are some tips from Angel Chernoff on how you can invest in your own happiness.

3 Simple Things to Practice Doing for Your Happiness

1. Practice embracing your present, not your past. — You are not who you used to be, and that’s OK. You’ve been hurt; you’ve gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you who you are today. Over the years so many things have happened – things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit to grow. As time passes, nobody stays the same, but some people will still tell you that you have changed. Respond to them by saying, “Of course I’ve changed. That’s what life is all about. But I’m still the same person, just a little stronger now than I ever was before.”

2. Practice nurturing your inner calmness. — Remember, the ultimate measure of your wisdom and strength is how calm you are when facing any given situation. Calmness is indeed a superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart rate steady, which instantly gives you the upper hand.

3. Practice being mindful with each step you take. — No matter where you are or what you’re going through, always believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Never expect, assume, or demand. Just do your best, control the elements you can control, and then let it be. Because once you have done what you can, if it is meant to be, it will happen, or it will show you the next step that needs to be taken…

~~~

Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.

Steve Maraboli

~~~

Myrddin sees Jill on the road ahead of him in her little red convertible. He tries to edge his semi past her as she was obviously having difficulty deciding which lane she wanted to be in.  Finally, her mind made up, Jill veered into Myrddin’s lane and jammed on her brakes, which resulted in a slight collision.

Unhurt but obviously harried, Jill rushed over to the Myrddin and started to bawl him out, barking, “You saw I was Blonde and knew I was going to do something idiotic. Why didn’t you stop to wait and see what it was?”

~~~

After hearing two eyewitness accounts of the same accident, you begin to wonder about history.

~~~

Martin was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the job centre he was offered work at the local Zoo. When he arrived for his first day, the keeper aware of his reputation told him to take care of the tortoise section.

Later, the keeper dropped by to see how Martin was getting on and found him standing by an empty enclosure.

“Where are the tortoises?” he asked him.

“I can’t believe it” said Martin “I just opened the door and then…..Whooooosh!”

~~~

Happiness is too easy to lose – next time I find some, I’m going to hide it.

~~~

You know you are in trouble when:

The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.

Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.

There are two elephants, two giraffes, and two zebras in your yard and your next door neighbor is building an arc.

The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.

A copy of your birth certificate comes in the mail marked null and void.

~~~

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Winston Churchill

~~~

In a high school science quiz, there was the question, “When water becomes ice, which of its physical properties increases?”

Everyone answered, “Its volume increases.”  Except one wise guy who wrote, “When water becomes ice, its price increases.”

~~~

It’s no use having a good memory unless you have something good to remember.

~~~

On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the underground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them.

“What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?” I joked.

“It would go out,” he replied very matter of factly.

“Really?” I asked, surprised to hear that. “Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?”

“No,” my co-worker continued. “The force from the explosion would blow out the match.”

~~~

Happiness consists more in conveniences of pleasure that occur everyday than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom.

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Together

Ray’s Daily

June 15, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

Lao Tzu

As most of you know my wife and me have been married for 69 years. Often our past life included lengthly seperations due to my various careers. Those were not always easy days but we always had each other.

These days we have been separated for almost three years due to the special care she is receiving because of her dementia. The good news is that I get to visit with her almost every day. Sometimes we just sit for an hour or more holding hands, but that is enough. The following story reminds me of the life we have had together.

The Greatest Treasure

Like many career military spouses, I couldn’t wait until my husband retired. My husband and I were probably the worst couple in the active duty Navy to ever go through deployment separations. As much as my husband loved the sea, he missed me with a passion, and as much as I supported him in his chosen career, I hated every moment away from him.

I coped with our separations the best way that I could. I prayed for his safety, wrote letters every day, and I prepared for each deployment in advance. I made up dozens of small notes and packages for him, which I secretly tucked into his sea bag, so that he could discover them when he was out to sea. We both kept separate journals, which we wrote in every day, sharing tidbits of the lives we led apart. To this day those notes are still precious to us.

Finally in 1996 my husband retired from the Navy. We moved back to the Virginia mountains that we loved, unaware that we were diving into the longest separation of our marriage. My asthma made it impossible for me to live in the city, and the only job available for my husband was six-and-a-half hours away in Norfolk, Virginia.

We spent eight months apart. By this time email was available, so we finally were able to share our love every single day. That was our hardest separation, perhaps because we had planned to be together, and we had never planned to be apart. Louie came to visit as often as he could. We drove to be with him on Thanksgiving and Christmas. He continued to apply for jobs in the area in which we hoped to live, and we prayed that soon we would be able to be together as a family again.

One day Louie called me with the good news. He had a job opportunity in southwest Virginia, right in the heart of the Appalachian mountains. We were thrilled! Louie was hired immediately, and we would soon be a family again. There was only one small problem. Louie would have to live in a camper, while our daughters and I lived in a little house an hour-and-a-half away, until we could find just the right house.

Okay, I told myself. I know how to do this. We’ve been separated before. My resolve lasted three days. I turned to my daughters, both old enough to take care of themselves, and I announced, “Okay girls, you’re on your own! I’m going to be with my husband!”

In minutes I was packed, and I was on my way to be reunited with my beloved. I drove over mountain roads through a driving rainstorm. Night-blind and terrified, not even a police road block outside the state prison could keep me from my destination. God bless the Virginia State Police! They waved me through, before I could sob out my entire story.

There’s no doubt in my mind that angels guided me. I’d have never found that campground in the dark by myself. As I drove up, I could see my husband, reading by the light of a tiny lamp, framed by the camper window. I pulled to a halt, nearly killing myself getting out of the car, as he threw the camper door open. Louis’s hand reached out for me, as I stumbled into his arms. Such warmth and affection was worth a journey of a thousand miles!

Louie and I spent a glorious three-and-a-half weeks together. One morning after he had left for work, I sat alone in the camper trying to remember any possession that was as priceless as the time God had given us together. I couldn’t think of a single thing. We moved into that camper and lived there for a year, squeezed together like sardines. It was pure joy! I learned in that year that the greatest treasure I have is the time I’ve been given with the ones I love. The worldly treasures that we gave away? You know, I still can’t recall a single thing.

Written by Jaye Lewis

~~~

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

Maya Angelou

~~~

I pulled up to a parking meter recently, only to realize I didn’t have any coins. As I got out of my car, I saw a meter maid about 6 parking meters away….heading my way.

“I’m just going to go in here”, pointing to a nearby shop, “to get some change,” I called out to her.

“If there’s no quarter in that meter by the time I get to your meter, I’ll have no choice but to give you a ticket,” she yelled back to me.

Quickly running into a nearby coffee shop, I ordered a coffee. The waitress, seeing the $20 bill in my hand, asked if I had anything smaller.

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t”

“Well, it’s your *lucky* day then,” she said, handing me the coffee and a big smile.

“We don’t have any change, so your coffee is on the house! Enjoy!”

~~~

The Meek shall inherit the earth…..after we’re through with it.

~~~

The convent had been presented with a new car, a red Mini Metro, the pride of its breed.  Sister Lucy, the only qualified driver, became the chauffer.  Every Saturday she would drive the Reverend Mother into town for the shopping.

All went well until a holiday weekend when the town was so packed with people and cars that it became evident that there was no earthly place to park.

“Don’t worry, Reverend Mother,” said Sister Lucy.  “You go into the supermarket and I’ll drive around the block until you come out.”

Off sped the car, and the Reverend Mother bustled around the store shopping quickly, then rushing back to the curbside.  There she stood for five minutes, ten, twenty.

No sign of Sister Lucy.  Where could she be?

Eventually the Reverend Mother approached a patrolling policeman.

“Excuse me, Officer,” she said. “Have you seen a nun in a red mini?”

“No,” replied the officer, “but these days nothing would surprise me!”

~~~

I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you. If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don’t you think it’s worth the extra effort?

~~~

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is “UP.”

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?  Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends.  And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing:  A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!  To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.  In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.  If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.  It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.  When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my it UP to me, so … Time to shut UP!

~~~

Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?

~~~

Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm.

He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?”

His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.”

Johnny says, “WOW! I can see why they threw him out!”

~~~

After eight days of backpacking with my wife Linda, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles. “Terry,” she said, “does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?” I thought for a moment, then said, “If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?”

~~~

Behind every great achievement is a dreamer of great dreams.

Robert K. Greenleaf

~~~

Poor Johnson had spent his life making wrong decisions. If he bet on a horse, it would lose; if he chose one elevator rather than another, it was the one he chose that stalled between floors; the line he picked before the bank teller’s cage never moved; the lane he chose in traffic crawled; the day he picked the picnic was the day of a cloudburst; and so it went, day after day, year after year.

Then, once, it became necessary for Johnson to travel to some city a thousand miles away and do it quickly. A plane was the only possible conveyance that would get him there in time, and it turned out that only one company supplied only one flight that would do. His heart bounded. There was no choice to make! And if he made no choice, surely he could come to no grief.

He took the plane. Imagine his horror when, midway in the flight, the plane’s engines caught fire and it became obvious the plane would crash in moments.

Johnson broke into fervent prayer to his favorite saint, Saint Francis. He pleaded, “I have never in my life made the right choice. Why this should be, I don’t know, but I have borne my cross and have not complained. On this occasion, however, I did not make a choice; this was the only plane I could take and I had to take it. Why, then, am I being punished?”

He had no sooner finished when a giant hand swooped down out of the clouds and somehow snatched him from the plane. There he was, miraculously suspended two miles above the earth’s surface, while the plane spiraled downward far below.

A heavenly voice came down from the clouds. “My son, I can save you, if you have in truth called upon me.”

“Yes, I called on you,” cried Johnson. “I called on you, Saint Francis!”

“Ah,” said the heavenly voice, “Saint Francis Xavier or Saint Francis of Assisi. Which?”

~~~

“What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life–to strength each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?”

George Eliot

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

It is up to you

Ray’s Daily

June 14, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

We begin life with the world presenting itself to us as it is. Someone – our parents, teachers, analysts – hypnotizes us to “see” the world and construe it in the “right” way. These others label the world, attach names and give voices to the beings and events in it, so that thereafter, we cannot read the world in any other language or hear it saying other things to us. The task is to break the hypnotic spell, so that we become undeaf, unblind and multilingual, thereby letting the world speak to us in new voices and write all its possible meanings in the new book of our existence. Be careful in your choice of hypnotists.

Sidney Jourard

Ray’s Daily first published on June 14, 2005

 ~~~

It seems that these days if you break away from the hypnotists people react as if you either have lost your mind or are the devil incarnate. Yesterday I spent some time talking to friends about the polarization that has taken place in our society. We talked about the pundits telling us that we are in a war between the social conservatives and the radical liberals. You’re either for me or you are against me, everything is black or white, if you don’t agree with me you are a danger to society, you know the drill.

The problem with all this is that it does not reflect the real world. The battle between the far right and the far left will never be won, it is a battle of the ideologues, and no one is going to change their minds. What really is going on is an attempt to draw those of us in the middle to one side or the other. It is sad that so many of us chose to stay silent rather than take an interest in what is going on, we just don’t want to be hassled by the righteous on either side.

Unfortunately when we walk away power fills the vacuum we leave behind. Power has been used to gerrymander house districts leaving only 30 or so competitive house seats in congress. Power is used to pass legislation without public debate, power is used to threaten those that disagree, power is used earmark our money for pork versus education, public safety and the like, the list goes on and on.

Lately however it appears that our fellow centrists are starting to come alive, they are concerned about the economy, they are concerned about Iraq, and they are starting to become disenchanted with what is going on. Unfortunately it may be too late. The treasury has been raided, the war has gotten out of hand and all the while we are told things are going great. Sadly our disenchantment may result in us walking away from too much, too soon. I am pretty sure that the ultra-conservatives and the radical left are not interested in our getting in the game, we would be too hard to beat with the tactics they use against each other.

OK, enough is enough. For you new folks I seldom rant and rave in the daily, I have another vehicle for doing that. None of this would have happened if I had not spent a few hours with Bob and Jim. But you know what; I really do think it is time we got involved.

~~~

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

A Jewish man in New York breaks his dentures.  He searches around for a dental technician who will make a replacement at a reasonable price. The first quotes $300, the next $400 and the third $500, all much too expensive for him.

Then his wife, hearing of these prices says, “Well, Hymie, why don’t you speak to my nephew,  Solly – he’s just qualified as a dentist and I’m sure he’ll give you a good deal.”

Hymie says, “Oy Vay .  Solly is a schmuck – he’s no experience and I wouldn’t like to wear dentures he’d made.”

However, after some nagging by his wife, he goes to see Solly who says that he could make a set of dentures for $100, and he finally agrees to have the set made.  After a few weeks, Solly comes up with the dentures but they don’t fit too well.  Hymie takes them back a few times and Solly puts on a bit of material here and grinds off some there but they still don’t fit.

Then, for about three weeks, Solly does not see Hymie. By chance they meet in the street.

“Hello Uncle Hymie,” Solly said, “it’s good to see you  – how are the dentures?”

“Solly,” he says, “let me tell you a story.  For the past couple of weeks I am on a vacation in the Caribbean, fishing.  One day we are out and I am fishing off the back of the boat when I hook a great big tuna, maybe 300 pounds.  This very strong fish swims away from me and I’m trying to hold him but the line runs out over 200 yards and I really am struggling.”

“Then the fish turns and swims towards the boat – he’s coming at me very fast and I am frantically trying to reel in the line which falls into the boat and gets wound around my testicles.  Suddenly it turns and starts to swim fast away from the boat.”

“Solly, right then for the first time, I didn’t feel your dentures!”

~~~

A bar in NYC is installing a breathalyzer. If your drunk, it advises you not to drive.

If you’re really, really drunk, it advises you not to call your old girlfriend.

~~~

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good … mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom:

“Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault.  She talks too much in school.  I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.

Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:

“Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.”

~~~

Dig the well before you are thirsty.

Chinese proverb

~~~

The district attorney was cross-examining the murderess on the witness stand.

“And so after you had poisoned the coffee and your husband sat at the breakfast table partaking of the fatal dosage, didn’t you feel any qualms? Didn’t you feel the slightest pity for him knowing that he was about to die and was wholly unconscious of it? As you sat there…didn’t you feel for him at all?”

“Yes,” she answered. “Come to think of it…there was just a tiny moment when I sort of felt sorry for him.”

“And, when was that?”

“When he asked for the second cup.”

~~~

Dear Abby: What can I do about all the sex, nudity, bad language, and violence on my VCR?

~~~

The waitress at the upscale restaurant kept starring at the leading man every time she brought him another dinner course.

“Say, she finally said, “don’t I know you from somewhere?”

The leading actor was coy. “Possibly you’ve seen me in the movies,” he replied.

“Maybe,” she said thoughtfully. “Where do you usually sit?”

~~~

A woman sees a beautiful tennis bracelet in a jewelry store window.  She goes in and asks the clerk if a small deposit will hold it until her husband does something unforgivable.

~~~

The elderly husband and wife, both a little hard of hearing, were watching golf on TV. The husband turned to his wife of some 50 years and said, “In my next life, I’m going to be rich and play all those beautiful golf courses with their great bars and dining and dancing areas.” The wife quickly responded, “How will you be able to manage all that with your bad legs? You can barely walk!” “I said, ‘…in my next life…,'” the husband replied. “Oh,” she said. I thought you said, ‘..with my next wife…'”

~~~

Matt:  I should never have introduced my fiancé’ to my rich uncle.

Jerry:  Why not?

Matt:  Because…. now she’s my aunt.

~~~

Morris and Isaac were constant companions. Morris was a calm laid back individual and never complained. Isaac was very nervous and always complaining about something.

One day Isaac said to Morris, “Morris how do you manage to get along with everybody?”

Morris answered, “Oh, I just never disagree with anybody.”

Isaac said, “Morris, you are a liar!”

Morris said, “I know it.”

~~~

Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself—your strengths and your limitations–in contrast to depending on affirmation from others.

Judith M. Bardwick

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Stay Positive

Ray’s Daily

June 13, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Attitude is everything, so pick a good one.

Wayne Dyer

It’s Monday and it is June. We get to do some good things this week if we have the energy. I know there is a lot going on at my place I hope there is at yours as well. It is good to know that no matter how old we are there is still plenty of things for us to do.

Having the right attitude is the key to staying as positive as we can be. Here is a piece I got from Angel Chernoff that works for me.

3 Keys to Keeping Your Attitude UP When Life Brings You DOWN

1. The older we grow, the more centered we tend to become. Life enlightens us gradually as we age. We begin to realize how much nonsense we have wasted time on. So just do your best right now to feel the peace that flows from your decision to rise above the petty distractions that don’t really matter.

2. Pause and appreciate your recent progress. You’ve been through a lot, but you’ve grown a lot too. Give yourself genuine credit for your resilience, and how far you have come.

3. Don’t stop learning. Don’t stop investing in yourself. Study. Read. Devour new ideas. Engage with people, including those who think differently. Ask questions. Listen closely. And don’t just grow in knowledge. Be a person who gives back. Put someone else at the center, and use what you’re learning to make a difference. I promise doing so will lift your spirits.

~~~

Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us.

Earl Nightingale

~~~

A comely redhead was thrilled to have obtained a divorce and dazzled by the skill and virtuosity of her lawyer, not to mention his healthy income and good looks. In fact, she realized, she had fallen head over heals in love with him, even though he was a married man.  

“Oh, Sam,” she sobbed at the conclusion of the trial, “isn’t there some way we can be together, the way we were meant to be?”  

Taking her by the shoulders, Sam proceeded to scold her, “Snatched drinks in grimy bars on the edge of town, lying on the phone, hurried meetings in sordid motels rooms – is that really what you want for us?”  

“No, no…” she sobbed, heartsick.  

“Oh,” said the lawyer. “Well, it was just a suggestion.”  

~~~

If you want to make peace, you don’t talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies.

Moshe Dayan

~~~

A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a postcard in his hand. The old man said, “Sir, I’m sorry to bother you, but could you address this postcard for me? My arthritis is acting up today and I can’t even hold a pen.”

“Certainly sir,” said the younger man, “I’d be glad to.”

He wrote out the address and also agreed to write a short message and sign the card for the man.

Finally, the younger man asked, “Now, is there anything else I can do for you”?

The old fellow thought about it for a moment and said, “Yes, at the end could you just add, ‘P.S.: Please excuse the sloppy handwriting'”?

~~~

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

~~~

The monitor confirmed cardiac arrest as an elderly man suddenly lost consciousness. After about 20 seconds of resuscitation, he came to. Explaining to him that his heart had momentarily stopped, I asked if he remembered anything unusual during that time.  

“I saw a bright light,” he said, “and in front of me a man dressed in white.”  

Zeroing in on this near-death impression, I inquired if he could describe the figure.  

“Sure, doctor,” he replied. “It was you.”  

~~~

The best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.

If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

~~~

The manager of a ladies’ dress shop realized it was time to give one her sales clerks a little talking-to. “Judy, your figures are well below any of our other salespeople’s. In fact, unless you can improve your record soon, I’m afraid you’ll have to let you go.”

“I’m sorry, Ma’am,” said a humbled Judy. “Can you give me any advice on how to do better?”

“Well, there is an old trick I can tell you about. It sounds silly, but it’s worked for me in the past. Get hold of a dictionary and go through it until you come to a word that had particular power for you. Memorize it, work it into your sales pitch whenever it seems appropriate, and you’ll be amazed at the results.” Sure enough, Judy’s sales figures went way up, and at the end of the month, the manager called her in again and congratulated her. “Did you try my little trick?” she asked.

Judy nodded. “It took me a whole weekend to find the right word, but I did: ‘fantastic.'”

“‘Fantastic.’ What a good word,” said the manager encouragingly. “How have you been using it?”

“Well, my first customer on Monday was a woman who told me her little girl had just been accepted at the most exclusive prep school in the city.” I said, ‘Fantastic.’ She went on to tell me how her daughter always got straight A’s and was the most popular girl in her class, I said ‘Fantastic’ and she bought $300 worth of clothing.

My next customer said she needed a formal dress for the spring ball at the country club, which she was in charge of. I said ‘Fantastic.’ She went on to tell she had the best figure of anyone on the committee and her husband makes the most money. I said ‘Fantastic’ and she not only bought the designer gown, but hundreds of dollars of other merchandise.

It’s been like that all week: the customers keep boasting, I keep saying ‘Fantastic’, and they keep buying.”

“Excellent work, Tina,” complimented her boss. “Just as a point of interest, what did you use to say to customers before you discovered your power word?”

Tina shrugged. “I used to say, “Do I look like I care?”

~~~

Yearn to understand first and to be understood second.

Beca Lewis Allen

~~~

Old Rabbi Wolfson was begging his board of directors to buy a new chandelier for the synagogue. Pleading for more than an hour, he sat down sullen and hopeless in his ambition to acquire a chandelier.  

Then the elder president of the board stood up. “What’re we wasting time talkin’ for?” he said rhetorically. “Foist of all, a chandelier, … we ain’t got nobody who could even spell it. Second, we ain’t got nobody who could even play it. And third, what we need most in the synagogue is more light!”  

~~~

Your attitude is more important than your capabilities. Similarly, your decision is more important than your capabilities.

Jack Ma

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Promise Yourself

Ray’s Daily

June 10, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

To be responsible, keep your promises to others. To be successful, keep your promises to yourself.

Marie Forleo

Ray’s Daily first published on June 10, 2002

If you are like I am you find the problems of the world today spread a cloud across so much of what we do and see. We try to balance our search for security with our great love of personal freedom. We fear for the future of the children while we bask in the joy they give to us. We search for security during insecure times. For many there are only two choices, total self centered ignorance that allows one to not see what’s around them, or unbridled pessimism that drags one into the depth of despair. For most of us there is a middle ground. What follows is something that was sent to me and I think if everyone would do what it suggests we will have made life better for others as well as ourselves.

Today let us promise ourselves….

To be so strong that nothing can disturb our peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person we meet.

To make all our friends feel that there is something special in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make our optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as we are about our own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature we meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of our self that we have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of ourselves and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as we are true to the best that is in us.

~~~

The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love.

William Somerset Maugham

~~~

In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog. The clerk suggested that she bring her dog in for a proper fit.

“I can’t do that!” she said.  “The sweater is going to be a surprise!”

~~~

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She’s way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.

35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mom thinks about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

~~~

Diner: I can’t eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!

Waiter: It’s no use. He won’t eat it either.

~~~

Every time a new Pope is elected, there’s a whole lot of rituals and ceremonies that have to be gone through, in accordance with tradition. Well there’s one tradition that very few people know about.

Shortly after the new Pope is enthroned, the Chief Rabbi seeks an audience. He is shown into the Pope’s presence, whereupon he presents him with a silver tray bearing a velvet cushion. On top of the cushion is an ancient, shriveled parchment envelope.

The Pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture of rejection.

The Chief Rabbi then retires, taking the envelope with him and does not return until the next Pope is elected. John Paul II was intrigued by this ritual, whose origins were unknown to him. He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican to research it, but they came up with nothing. When the time came and the Chief Rabbi was shown into his presence, he faithfully enacted the ritual rejection but, as the Chief Rabbi turned to leave, he called him back.

“My brother,” the Holy Father whispered, “I must confess that we Catholics are ignorant of the meaning of this ritual enacted for centuries between us and you, the representative of the Jewish people.  I have to ask you, what is it all about?”

The Chief Rabbi shrugs and replies: “But we have no more idea than you do.  The origin of the ceremony is lost in the traditions of ancient history.”

The Pope said: “Let us retire to my private chambers and enjoy a glass of wine together, then, with your agreement, we shall open the envelope and discover at last the secret.”

The Chief Rabbi agreed.

Fortified in their resolve by the wine, they gingerly pried open the curling parchment envelope and with trembling fingers, the Chief Rabbi reached inside and extracted a folded sheet of similarly ancient paper.  As the Pope peered over his shoulder, he slowly opened it.

They both gasped with shock.

It was the check for the Last Supper.

~~~

TERRIBLE TWO’S: Having both kids at home all summer.

~~~

Family leaving Church after services:

Father; “That was the longest driest, least informative sermon I’ve ever heard.”

Mother; “The choir was terrible.  I never heard some of those hymns before, and they were singing them off key.”

Little Tommy; “I don’t know, all in all it wasn’t bad show.  Three of us for a buck.”

~~~

“Happiness is good health and a bad memory.”

Ingrid Bergman

~~~

Eighty four year old Morris was hit by a car and lay bleeding on the sidewalk. A policeman arrived on the scene and, glancing at the victim, immediately called for a priest and an ambulance.

The priest arrived first, and bending over Morris, he asked, “Do you believe in the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost?”

Morris lifted his head, opened his eyes wide and turned to the crowd that had gathered around him. “I am laying here dying and this schmendrick is asking me riddles!”

~~~

There’s one thing about baldness…..it’s neat.

~~~

On her way back from the concession stand, Sally asked a man at the end of the row, “Pardon me, but did I step on your foot before?”

Expecting an apology, the man said, “Indeed you did.”

The woman nodded. “Oh good. Then this is my row.”

~~~

“So,” Jane asked the detective she had hired.  “Did you trail my husband?”

“Yes ma’am.  I did.  I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment.”

A big smile crossed Jane’s face.  “Aha!  I’ve got him!” she said gloating.  “Is there any doubt what he was doing?”

“No ma’am.” replied the sleuth, “It’s pretty clear that he was following you.”

~~~

“Are you saying that your wife is outspoken?”

“Not by anyone I know of.”

~~~

Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we choose.

Hsieh Tehyi

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Choices

Ray’s Daily

June 9, 2022

Http://rays-daily.com

“Life presents many choices, the choices we make determine our future.”

Catherine Pulsifer

We all are faced with the need to make choices. Most of the time we make good ones. Sometimes it would have been better if we waited and thought our choices through a second time. This story reminds us of the value of a second perspective.

Choices

I am a great fan and admirer of Cirque Du Soleil and over the years have been very fortunate to see a number of their absolutely sensational shows.

At each of these shows, I have joined thousands of other people in the circus tent to reflect in total awe on the amazing and seemingly impossible acrobatic feats in each performance. When this is coupled with the larger than life sense of theatre that engulfs everyone, it leaves you inspired and full of appreciation for what you have just seen.

Just recently I had the opportunity to see the same Cirque Du Soleil show for a second time within a space of about a month. At the first show, my wife and I were seated about thirty rows back from the stage, so you could imagine it was not easy to see all the expressions on the faces of the performers or for us to fully appreciate the passionate effort that they put into their individual performances. However, what we were able to enjoy was the wonderful panorama of the overall performance.

At the second show, we were fortunate to be seated in the second row just a couple of metres from the stage and we could now see close up the performers and their expressions. Equally, having seen the show before, we both looked forward to seeing our favourite segments for the second time.

Driving home after the second show, we talked about which of the two shows we enjoyed the most and also whether it was better to sit close to the stage or further back. We agreed that both shows were equal in terms of their spectacle and enjoyment, but from two totally different perspectives. In seeing the show for the second time, our appreciation of the absolute brilliance of Cirque Du Soleil was significantly enhanced and without doubt will always be remembered.

In the days that followed it occurred to me that there are some parallels between the experience we had at the two Cirque Du Soleil shows and what happens in our every day lives when we deal with the many challenges that face us.

How often do we make a decision about something important to us based on one single viewing of the facts or act just on what are our first impressions of the situation, without taking the time to gain a better feel for things. By way of example, when we read a good book or watch a movie for the first time it is so easy to believe that we now have a full understanding of all that we have just read or seen. Then at some later point, if we read the book or watched the movie for a second time we are almost certain to discover lots of other important things that we missed the first time around.

Whilst we often don’t have the opportunity to consider an important challenge or situation for a second time before we make a decision about the course action we will take, we should always endeavour to make time to stand back and view things from afar in order to gain a perspective of the bigger picture, and then be able to revisit the challenge or situation close up to see the finer detail and further improve our understanding.

In the light of the different perspective that a second viewing can provide to us, we would then be in a better position to make a more balanced and considered decision about the action we should take. I am sure if we all strived to do this, the outcome may very well be as enjoyable and uplifting as my second visit to Cirque Du Soleil.

Written by Keith Ready

~~~

“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision.”

Anthony Robbins

~~~

I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD – Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder This is how it goes…

I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I’m going to do the laundry…

BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack…

BUT FIRST I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook? Oops… there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook…

BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away…

BUT FIRST I need to water those plants. I head for the door and…

Aaaagh! stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants…BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.

END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control… And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because… I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious… I’d get help…

BUT FIRST… I think I’ll check my e-mail.

~~~

An error doesn’t become a mistake until you choose to ignore it.

~~~

She said: Waiting for our aerobics class to begin, several of us were standing around in our leotards chatting about fitness and diets. One woman said that her brother-in-law had quit smoking, gone on a diet and lost weight all at the same time.

Thinking to myself that no human being could possibly do this without acquiring at least one other undesirable habit for compensation, I jokingly asked her, “What did he start doing instead of these things?”

After a slight pause, she smiled and said, “Well, my sister is pregnant now.”

~~~

Last night I dreamt I had insomnia.

~~~

A wholesale dealer who had a lot of trouble getting a certain retailer to pay his bills finally lost patience and wrote the merchant a threatening letter.

He received the following reply:

“Dear Sir: What do you mean by writing me a letter like that? Every month, I place all my bills in a hat and then figure out how much money I have to pay on my accounts. Then I have my bookkeeper draw as many bills out of the hat as I have money to pay. If you don’t like my way of doing business, I won’t even put your bills in the hat!”

~~~

When you take a risk and step out of the norm, you run the risk and sometimes you fail.

But you only fail if you give up.

J. Peterman

~~~

Three pastors went to the pastor convention and were all sharing one room.

The first pastor said, “Let’s confess our secret sins one to another.

I’ll start – my secret sin is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it’s cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring.”

The second pastor said, “My secret sin is that I just hate working. I copy all my sermons from those given by other pastors.”

The third pastor said, “My secret sin is gossiping and, oh boy, I just can’t wait to get out of this room!”

~~~

The road to success is marked with many tempting parking spaces.

~~~

A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30.

One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom – only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. “Dammit woman!” he exclaimed. “Did you lose everything?”

~~~

Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be.

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

A West Virginia couple, both genuine rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband “fixed”.

The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision–why after nine children, would they choose to do this.

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn’t want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

~~~

I wouldn’t touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole.

~~~

No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice. “Find a girl just like your mother — then, she’s bound to like her.” So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser:

“Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like my mother; and just as you said, my mother liked her”.

“So,” asked the friend, “what happened?”

“Nothing,” said the young man. “My father hates her.”

~~~

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”

Amelia Earhart

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Smile

Ray’s Daily

June 8, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Nothing shakes the smiling heart.”

Santosh Kalwar

I have a full morning today. First I will have breakfast with friends. Next I will be transmitting my Pacemaker history to Medtronics for review. Then todays highlight, brunch with my favorite professional actress where we will catch up on our activities. This afternoon I will work on my hobby, napping.

I will be doing a lot of smiling today I hope you will too.

An enriching action

A smile costs nothing, but gives much.

It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.

It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

None is so rich or mighty that they can get along without it, and none is so poor, that they can be made rich by it.

A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in business and is the countersign of friendship.

It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad and it is nature’s best antidote for trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen – for it is something that is of no value to anyone, until it is given away.

Some people are too tired to give you a smile.

Give them one of yours, as no one needs a smile so much as those who have no more to give.

Author Unknown

~~~

“Share your smile with the world. It’s a symbol of friendship and peace.”

Christie Brinkley

~~~

Morty and Sarah had just returned home from a party. Sarah said, “Do you realize what you did tonight, Morty?”

“No I don’t,” Morty replied, “But I’ll admit I was wrong. What did I do?”

~~~

An elderly Jewish lady is leaving the garment district to go home from work.

Suddenly a man who has been walking towards her, stands in front of her, blocks her path, opens up his raincoat and flashes her.

Unruffled, she takes a look and remarks, “This you call a lining?”

~~~

MONEY ISN’T EVERYTHING, BUT, IT SURE KEEPS THE KIDS IN TOUCH

~~~

Rummaging through her attic, my friend Kathryn found an old shotgun. Unsure about how to dispose of it, she called her parents.

“Take it to the police station,” her mother suggested.  My friend was about to hang up when her mom added, “And Kathryn?”

“Yes, Mom?”

“Call first.”

~~~

“I bought a blank tape, took it home and played it at full volume. My neighbor complained. Turns out he’s a mime.”

Steven Wright

~~~

Beverly was reading a newspaper, while her husband Harry was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.

“Listen to this,” she said. “There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his girl friend for a season ticket to the Red Wings Stadium.”

“Hmmm,” he said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Beverly said, “Would you swap me for a season ticket?”

“Absolutely not,” he said.

“How sweet,” Bev said. “Tell me why not.”

“Season’s been cancelled,” he said.

~~~

I don’t mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch.

~~~

I know I need some kind of athletic activity in my life, so I subscribed to a couple of health magazines. There’s nothing better than kicking back with a cigarette, a Budweiser, and Prevention magazine… and reading about what nicotine, alcohol, and obesity will do to me. The anxiety alone raises my heart rate.

~~~

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.

Sally Koch

~~~

Jill’s car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down.  One day John got yet another one of those calls.

“What happened this time?” he asked, with a very exasperated tone.

“My brakes went out,” Jill said.  “Can you come to get me?”

“Where are you?” John asked.

“I’m in the drugstore,” Jill responded.

“And where’s the car?” John asked.

Jill replied…  (barely audible) “It’s in here with me.”

~~~

“Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.”

Rashida Jones

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Children are our treasure

Ray’s Daily

June 7, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval

George Santayana

Ray’s Daily first published on June 7, 2005

 ~~~

It was forty years ago today that the Supreme Court ruled that laws banning birth control are an unconstitutional violation of privacy. I wonder if that means that those of us older than forty will never know if we might not have been. Since all of my children are now adults who are over forty years old, I want to state right now that they are all here on purpose and each has provided us the best years of our lives.

At least I know they are now adults but as Holbrook Jackson once said, “A mother never realizes that her children are no longer children.” I wonder how many husbands often have to remind his wife that the kids are grown up now and that they don’t need us to tell them what to do.

If you are as lucky as we are you will spend your life thanking your lucky stars that you have been blessed with children who have given your lives so much of its meaning. Of course there are times in the early years when restraint on the part of we parents was difficult at best. But like a friend said at a meeting the other day, “Grandchildren are the rewards we receive for not killing our children.”

~~~

Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

~~~

A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing.  

The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”  

“Naw, ma fren, I ain’t got none of dem, no. Dese here are my pet fish.”  

“Pet fish?”  

“Ya. Avery night I take dese here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim ’round for a while. Den I whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home.”  

“That’s a bunch of hooey! Fish can’t do that!”  

The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, “It’s de truth ma’ fren. I’ll show you. It really works.”  

“Okay, I’ve GOT to see this!”  

The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited.  

After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, “Well?”  

“Well, what?” Said the Cajun.  

“When are you going to call them back?”  

“Call who back?”  

“The FISH!”  

“What fish?”  

~~~

We face the question whether a still higher “standard of living” is worth its cost in things natural, wild, and free.

Aldo Leopold

~~~

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer (CEO) of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first and was asked a long list of questions, endiing with. . .”How much is two plus two?”

The engineer excused himself and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing. . .”Four!”

The physicist was interviewed next and was asked the same questions. Again, the last question was. . .”How much is two plus two?”

Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After consulting with the United States Bureau of Standards and making many calculations, he also announced. . .”Four!”

The lawyer was interviewed last, and again…. the final question was “How much is two plus two?”

The lawyer draws all the shades in the room, looks outside to see if anyone is there, checks the telephone for listening devices, and finally whispers. . .        “How much do you want it to be?”

~~~

Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if the whole world disagrees with it.

Maimonides

~~~

From Jane:

New Drugs For Women

D A M N I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A’S W O R T

Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed ! before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

B U Y A G R A

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to drop the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T

When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

~~~

Never get into a pissing contest with a skunk.

~~~

Waiter: Tea or coffee, gentlemen?

1st customer: I’ll have tea.

2nd customer: Me, too.  And be sure the glass is clean!

(Waiter exits, returns)

Waiter: Two teas.  Which one asked for the clean glass?

~~~

“It’s no use. Art doesn’t listen to me,” said a little boy who was praying for a new bike.

“Art who?” asked the boy’s mother.

“Art in heaven,” came the reply.

~~~

An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there’s any place around where he can get American food.

The concierge tells him he’s in luck, there’s a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.

Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.

The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, “What the heck did you put on this pizza?”

The delivery man bows deeply and says, “We put on the pizza what you ordered: pepper only.”

~~~

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Abraham Lincoln

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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