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Don’t

Ray’s Daily

February 6, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

It always seems impossible until it’s done.

Nelson Mandela

don't quit

I am always amazed at how much some of us miss opportunities for enjoyment because we give up. It is especially true for far too many of us seniors. The surest way to end a life of happiness is to convince ourselves that we have reached a point where we no longer can enjoy our days.

Some of my friends have severe physical limitations but still stay positive as the find ways to enjoy their days. So, my friends hang in there, you’ll be glad you do.

           See it through

 When you’re up against a trouble,

Meet it squarely, face to face;

Lift your chin and set your shoulders,

Plant your feet and take a brace.

When it’s vain to try to dodge it,

Do the best that you can do;

You may fail, but you may conquer,

See it through!

 

Black may be the clouds about you

And your future may seem grim,

But don’t let your nerve desert you;

Keep yourself in fighting trim.

If the worst is bound to happen,

Spite of all that you can do,

Running from it will not save you,

See it through!

 

Even hope may seem but futile,

When with troubles you’re beset,

But remember you are facing

Just what other men have met.

You may fail, but fall still fighting;

Don’t give up, whate’er you do;

Eyes front, head high to the finish.

See it through!

 

     Edgar Guest

~~~

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow.’

Mary Anne Radmacher

~~~

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

“Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”

Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”

~~~

Procrastinate Now!

~~~

A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?

The man says, “Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doing all this drinking.

“You’d drink them this fast too if you had what I have.

The bartender hastily asks, “What do you have pal?

The man quickly replies, “I have a dollar.”

~~~

The expression of gratitude is a powerful force that generates even more of what we have already received.

Deepak Chopra

~~~

Patient: My wife beats me, doctor.

Doctor: Oh dear. How often?

Patient: Every time we play Scrabble!

~~~

I’m addicted to placebos. I’d give them up, but it wouldn’t’ make any difference.

Steven Wright

~~~

At the pub, a little guy exchanged words with a big bald guy, and it looked like they were about to go to blows.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve for such a shrimp!” snarled the big guy.

“Look, you big jerk,” barked the little blonde guy, “I’m not scared of anybody, or anything! I come from a long line of jumpers. My great-grandfather jumped with no parachute from a balloon. My grand-father jumped without a ‘chute from a biplane. My mother and father both jumped from a jet. And tomorrow, I jump from a rocket!”

“You’re crazy, you little twerp,” said the big guy. “You could be killed!”

“So what?” said the little guy. “I have no family…”

~~~

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Samuel Ullman

~~~

As a concierge at a posh resort, I was often asked about the ski facilities. One day, a couple who had just checked in after a long flight came by and asked me where the lift was.

“Go out the door,” I told them, “past the pool, 200 yards down the block and you’ll see it on your right.”

Their tired faces suddenly looked even more exhausted, until the man behind them spoke up.

“They’re from England,” he said. “I think they’re looking for the elevator.”

~~~

Question authority, but not mine.

~~~

After our friend Tom had been a temporary Bachelor for several weeks, we stopped by his Home to visit him. My wife asked if he was eating Properly. “Well, I do eat a lot of dog food,” Tom Told her.

“Dog food!” my wife exclaimed, horrified. “I can’t believe you would be eating anything Like that!”

“Come to the kitchen and I’ll show you,” Tom replied.

Opening the refrigerator door, He waved his hand at a row of doggie bags from half of the restaurants in town.

~~~

The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.

Mignon McLaughlin

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Keep Going

Ray’s Daily

February 5, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“The only real failure in life is the failure to try.”

don't stop

I am a little brain dead this morning so Here is another reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on February 7th, 2005.

~~~

I listened to an audio essay on failure the other day that got me thinking about just what is failure. The more I thought about it the more I realized how many different types of failures I have had in my life. In fact, part of my career in the computer industry consisted of failing, and then failing, and then failing, and then failing, and then not failing. I traveled for a few years as a computer trouble shooter. I often would be called in after others had failed to solve some problem. The process was to look here and then think, look there and then think, try this and then think, try that and then think, and finally, bingo, the solution.

The more I thought about it the other day the more I realized that failure is often more a new beginning than an end. Over the years it has been the things that haven’t worked out that have created the opportunity for a fresh start. The secret is to not let failure take you down. Maybe it is tenacity, perseverance, or optimism, all I know is giving into failure steals from us some of the zest in our lives.

It has often been said that it is only those who are stagnant and do nothing that never make mistakes. In my experience that is right on, it is the dreamers, those that don’t let obstacles or pessimism get them down who accomplish the great things. I read recently that pessimists take less risks, possibly make less mistakes, but also get bogged down by not moving on when they hit a brick wall. So like the song says, “Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start all over again.

~~~

I have always felt that although someone may defeat me, and I strike out in a ball game, the pitcher on the particular day was the best player. But I know when I see him again, I’m going to be ready for his curve ball. Failure is a part of success. There is no such thing as a bed of roses all your life. But failure will never stand in the way of success if you learn from it.

Hank Aaron

~~~

She said:

One of our clients brought in his massive Doberman pinscher to be spayed. As a veterinary assistant, I escort the patient into the doctor’s office.

Before taking this dog’s leash, I glimpsed those large teeth of hers and asked the owner, “Is she friendly?”

“Friendly?” said the man. “Friendly? She’s had five litters! How much ‘friendlier’ than that can she get?”

~~~

Q: Did you hear about the new auto insurance policy for Jewish mothers?

A: It is known as the “My Fault” policy.

~~~

Life in 2029:

Ozone created by electric cars is now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California.

Baby conceived naturally…scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

~~~

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

~~~

Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.

Now we have a mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1:  Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2:  Time is Money.

As every engineer knows,

Work

———- = Power

Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have:

Work

———– = Knowledge

Money

Solving for Money, we get:

Work

—————–  = Money

Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the amount of Work done.

Conclusion:  The Less you Know, the More you Make.

Note: It has been speculated that the reason why Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard’s math program was because he stumbled upon this proof as an undergraduate, and dedicated the rest of his career to the pursuit of ignorance.

~~~

An American in Scotland asked one of the locals, “Why do you call it a kilt?”

The Scotsman replied, “Because we kilt the last bloke who called it a dress.”

~~~

The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: “Watch Your Hat And Overcoat.”

Meyer did. He kept turning every minute, almost choking over his food. His pal, Moshe, kept on eating, without thought of his own coat on the hook.

Finally Moshe said, “You, dope…stop watching our overcoats.”

“I’m only watching mine,” replied Meyer. “Yours has been gone for over half an hour.”

~~~

Scientists are working to develop something that will dissolve anything, but they don’t know what they would put it in.

Herb Shriner

~~~

A teacher asked her class, “What do you want out of life”?

A little girl in the back raised her hand and said, “All I want out of life is four animals.”

The teacher asked “Really? And what four animals would that be”?

The little girl replied, “A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed and a jackass to pay for all of it.” The teacher fainted.

~~~

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

~~~

Two old men, one a retired professor of psychology and the other a retired professor of history, were sitting around on the porch of the hotel watching the sun to set.

The history professor said to the psychology professor, “Have you read Marx?”

To which the professor of psychology said, “Yes. I think they’re from the wicker chairs.”

~~~

Worrying about something that may never happen is like paying interest on money you may never borrow.

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Thanks

Ray’s Daily

February 4, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”

Elisabeth Foley

friendship

I was reminded over the last few days of how much I value my past and current friends. I received hundreds of birthday greetings that unlocked a multitude of fond memories.

It truly were the friends and mentors who helped me succeed, not only in business but also in life. These days it is my new friends as well as my old friends who contribute so much to my happiness.

I heard somewhere that the secret of having good friends is to be one yourself. I know that is true with the best people I know. So my friends, thank you for the good life you have helped me have. Here is an excerpt from an article that I agree with, I hope you will as well.

What Is A Friend?

Author Unknown

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you’re scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you!

Pass this on to those friends of the past, and those of the future, and those you have met along the way… and remember… No matter where we go or who we become, never forget who helped us get there.

There’s never a wrong time to pick up a phone or send a message telling your friends how much you miss them.

You know who you are, pass it on to someone who you want to remind. And thank you for being a friend.

~~~

“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.”

Arnold H. Glasgow

~~~

I have a brother who was on a plane that had taken off and was approaching cruising altitude, when one of the flight attendants came on the public-address system. She announced that she was sorry, but the plane’s restroom was out of order. The flight attendant went on to apologize to the passengers for any inconvenience. But then she finished cheerily with: “So, as compensation, free drinks will be served.”

~~~

18 out of 10 schizophrenics agree.

~~~

I had purchased a talking metronome while I was attending a conference in New York for music teachers. Before my son and I boarded our flight home, I hefted my carry-on bag onto the security check conveyor belt. The guard’s eyes widened as he watched the monitor. He asked what I had in the bag, then slowly pulled out the six-by-three-inch black box covered with dials and switches. Other travelers, sensing trouble, vacated the area.

“A metronome,” I replied weakly, as my son cringed in embarrassment. “It’s a talking metronome,” I insisted. “Look, I’ll show you.”

I took the box and flipped a switch, realizing that I had no idea how it worked. “One, two, three, four,” it said.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

As we gathered our belongings, my son whispered, “Aren’t you glad it didn’t go ‘four, three, two, one'”?

~~~

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

Earl Nightingale

~~~

Working in the Emergency Room here in our small rural community, we don’t get many calls, but they do tend to be memorable. One summer, a two-year-old boy was brought in with a cherry pit stuffed up his nostril. His mother said he was unable to blow it out and that when she tried using tweezers, it had only moved farther up into her son’s nose. I realized that the emergency equipment we had on hand was not suitable for the comfortable removal of the object from such a small patient, but I’d been taught early on in medical school that a paper clip bent to just the right angle and then curved slightly, could often be looped behind an object to help extract it. Finding a large clip, I bent it accordingly and managed to extract the cherry pit successfully.

The little boy’s mother looked at me and smiled. “That’s why we came to the hospital,” she explained, “So we could have access to all the modern, high-tech equipment.”

~~~

Ask me about my vow of silence.

~~~

Two mothers met for coffee. “Well Ruthie, how are the kids?

“To tell you the truth, my son has married a real tramp!” says Ruth. “She doesn’t get out of bed until 11. She’s out all day spending his money on Heaven knows what, and when he gets home, exhausted, does she have a nice hot dinner for him? Ha! She makes him take her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant.”

“Oh! What a shame. And how about your daughter?

“Ah! Now there’s a lucky girl. She has married a saint. He brings her breakfast in bed, he gives her enough money to buy whatever she needs, and in the evening he always takes her out to dinner at a nice restaurant.”

~~~

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.

John Andrew Holmes

~~~

His aching back made it impossible for my friend’s husband to get a decent night’s rest on their lumpy mattress. “Until I feel better, I’m going to sleep on the couch,” he announced.

Ordinarily, a spouse moving out of the bedroom isn’t a good sign for the marriage. So his wife couldn’t resist: “Okay, but as soon as we have an argument you’re back in our bed.”

~~~

You can tell when a person is well informed: their views are pretty much like your own.

~~~

Doctor: “I see you’re over a month late for your appointment. Don’t you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What’s your excuse”?

Patient: “I was just following your orders, Doc.”

Doctor: “Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order.”

Patient: “You told me to avoid people who irritate me!”

~~~

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Elayne Boosler

~~~

A blonde was chatting with her building manager when she happened to mention that the tenants in the apartment above hers were awfully noisy. “Most nights, they stomp around up there as if they will killing cockroaches or something. All evening, this goes on, until around midnight.”

“That’s terrible,” said the building manager. “Do you want me to speak to them about it?”

“Oh, no, it’s not necessary,” said the blonde. “It doesn’t keep me up or anything, because, most nights, I usually stay up and practice my trumpet ’til about that time anyway.”

~~~

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.”

Winnie the Pooh

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Another Year Older

Ray’s Daily

February 3, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“A positive attitude can really make dreams come true – it did for me.”

David Bailey

feeling good

What a weekend I have had. Turning eighty-five on Friday resulted in my attending a couple of family parties. I also was overwhelmed by more than one hundred greetings via e-amil qand in person. Friday at my cardiologist visit my Doctor and her head nurse even gave me hugs and cupcakes.

The weekend ended with Nancy and I attending a new production presented by the Actors Theater of Indiana which was founded by three of my favorite performers. Of course, Sunday evening was topped by the Super Bowl party here at our residence.

Like I said last week, who would of thought that life at eighty-five could be so good. Now I plan on making sure it continues to be enjoyable. Here is an article recently written by Australian author Tamsin Kelly that offers some tips on happy living, here are excerpts from the article.

Ways To Replenish Your Emotional Energy And Feel More Positive

  • Do more of what you want – Carve out satisfying moments in your day that give you real pleasure, like sitting peacefully in the sun or finishing your favorite writer’s latest novel. Work out what makes you really happy and keeps you emotionally nourished – and keep doing it.
  • Plan occasional treats – Having a treat to look forward to, whether a holiday you’ve booked, a weekend walk with friends or simply a tranquil bath, is a great way to keep your emotional energy tank revved.
  • You don’t always have to say yes – Do you have that constant sense of frustration and a little voice in your head saying ‘why am I the one who has to do this?’ The truth is, you rarely have to do the things you think you do. The greatest emotional drain is depriving yourself of fun, while feeling emotionally exhausted by all the responsibilities and calls on your time and energy. If it’s not giving you pleasure or satisfaction, just stop doing it or do it differently.
  • Extricate yourself from toxic friendships – We all have them, those people we see out of duty or habit, rather than genuine excitement. But worse, are the ones who actually seem to have the power to make us feel negative about ourselves and exhausted in their company.
  • But do spend time with people whose company you enjoy – One of the best ways you can fill up your emotional energy reservoirs is by spending time with people who are upbeat, glass-half-full, interested, compassionate and full of joy. These are the people who bring out the best in you.
  • Start the day well –  Meditate, exercise, hydrate, read an uplifting book. Do what it takes to prime your body and mind to be how you’d like to be for the rest of the day. You’ll be more resilient in dealing with life’s inevitable challenges when you start your day this way (rather than reacting to emails, social media, mainstream news headlines that kick you into a fearful and negative state).”
  • Realise prioritising yourself is not ‘being selfish’ – If you’re emotionally drained, you’re not giving your friends, family and work your best self. If you prioritise self-care, you’ll be in a better position to help others in your life. Everyone wins.
  • Stop worrying and take action – Worrying never solves anything. It’s just a negative emotion that gnaws away at you. Action is the best cure for worry. Rather than tossing and turning all night, get up and write a to-do list. Try to dial down the ‘what ifs’ and feel happier in the present. And if the same things are constantly guilting you on your list, that’s a sign you don’t want to do them. So just don’t.

~~~

“You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.”

Deepak Chopra

~~~

“Chocolate Rules”

If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

If you eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet?

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

~~~

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.

~~~

An elderly couple, Marty and Helen, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai Restaurant. While looking at the menu, Helen noticed her husband looking at the vegetarian section of the menu. “What would you like Marty?” She asked. “I’m looking at this Eggplant Spicy dish.” He replied.

“Marty, you like meat and potatoes. You won’t like that dish.” Helen said.

“What do you know,” answered Marty, “I’m getting it.”

“Marty, I’m telling’ you, you are a meat and potatoes kind of guy.

You won’t like it!” Helen exclaimed.

“I’m getting it and that is the last word!” says Marty.

A short while later the meals arrive at the table. Marty looks down and his dish and says to Helen, “Where are my eggs?”

~~~

It is far easier to leave angry words unspoken than to mend the heart those words have broken.

~~~

A man stubbed his toe so badly he decided to go to the doctor. When he arrived at the office, the nurse directed him to remove all his clothes and wait in the next room.

“I just hurt my toe,” complained the man. “Why do I need to take off my clothes?”

“Everyone who sees the doctor has to undress,” explained the nurse politely. “It’s our policy.”

“Well, I think it’s a stupid policy! Making me undress just to look at my toe! Geeez!”

From the next room another man’s voice piped up. . . “That’s nothing! I just came here to fix the telephone!”

~~~

If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

Yogi Berra

~~~

One time when I was home visiting my folks, my mom asked me to set the table for dinner. I opened the refrigerator and taped to the inside of the door was a risque picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built, but scantily-clad young woman.

“Mom, what’s this?” I asked.

“Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to over-eat,” she answered.

“Is it working?” I asked.

“Yes and no,” she explained. “I’ve lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20!”

~~~

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

~~~

An old, tired looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door and I let him out. The next day, he was back. He resumed his position in the hall and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar that said, “Every afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap.”

The next day, he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar. It said, “He lives in a home with ten children. He’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?!”

~~~

“Adopting a really positive attitude can work wonders to adding years to your life, a spring to your step, a sparkle to your eye, and all of that.”

Christie Brinkley

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

I Made It This Far

Ray’s Daily

January 31, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!

Dr. Seuss

85 birthday

I have a busy day today. I have cardiology tests at the hospital and a cardiologist checkup. Later I am being joined by most of my family for a birthday dinner. So, I am again sending a Daily from the past, this one from my birthday seventeen years ago.

 Ray’s Daily first published on January 31, 2003

Happy Birthday Carol Channing, Richard A. Gephardt, Norman Mailer, Suzanne Pleshette, Queen Beatrix Of Netherlands, and Me.

It is hard to believe that:

I am now 5 years older than Ted Koppel and 11 years 5 months older than George W. Bush.

I was:

  • 28 years old at the time President Kennedy was assassinated
  • 22 years old when the Soviet satellite Sputnik 1 was launched
  • 18 years old at the end of the Korean War (I had been called into the Navy at 16 and was then on the aircraft carrier USS Wasp in Asian waters, that is a story for another time)
  • 10 years old when the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima
  • 6 years old at the time of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor

I remember vividly all of these events, even the attack on Pearl Harbor. I had hoped we would have seen a more tranquil world by now, with everyone sharing in the bounty that could be ours if only we were not driven by war, ideology, and ethnic and cultural conflicts. Maybe you who are younger can do a better job.

~~~

The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.

James Allen

~~~

Itzic is dying in hospital. He asks for the Greek Orthodox priest to be called so that he can dictate his last will and testament.

The priest arrives and Itzic starts to dictate. “One third of my wealth is to go to the Jewish school for girls. A second third is for the Jewish school for boys.

The priest writes as asked.

“The last third I leave to the Rabbi to build a library,” Itzic continues.

The priest writes then asks, “As you are leaving your entire wealth to The Jewish community, why did you call me and not the Rabbi?”

“Are you crazy?!” screams Itzic. “The Rabbi is in a contagious diseases ward?”

~~~

It isn’t difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill – just add a little dirt.

~~~

WARNING!!! I received this emergency message from two of my favorite Louisianans.

WE MUST STOP THIS SINISTER PLOT!

Have you ever noticed that as the years go by, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper, groceries are heavier, and everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was horrified to discover how long our street had become! I never noticed when I was younger that it’s been changing!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also have a feeling that these people are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, something has been making people who used to be my own age so much older than I am.

I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection…. and I noticed that even mirrors were not made the way they used to be!

Clothing manufacturers are part of the conspiracy too! Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You’re risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

The people who make bathroom scales are in on it as well. Do they think I actually believe the number I see on that dial? Hah! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on — but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they’ve printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon *everyone* will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

~~~

“The best way to get people to think out of the box is not to create the box in the first place.”

Martin Cooper

~~~

A lot of time has been wasted arguing over what came first, the chicken or the egg. It was undoubtedly the rooster.

~~~

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Johnny, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”

Johnny burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”

~~~

A woman always remembers where and when she got married; a man sometimes forgets why.

~~~

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”

The woman says….. “I’ll miss you.”

~~~

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

How’s Your Life?

Ray’s Daily

January 30, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“I think being in love with life is a key to eternal youth.”

Doug Hutchison

Enjoy.

In my community the most often asked question is” How are you doing”. I appreciate those who take an interest in the welfare of others.

The questions give me multiple opportunities each day to reflect on just how good my life really is. Sure, I got a few aches and pains but they are not worth worrying about. I find there is much to be thankful for and much to appreciate.

I know if you don’t look for the silver lining you will never find it. By being aware of what is right in our lives rather than what is wrong is how we can enjoy the days we have left. So my friends how are your lives. I hope it is as good as the woman In this story is.

How’s your life?

That old quote ‘Out of the mouths of babes ofttime come gems’ came to mind after I read an e-mail letter from my eight year old granddaughter. Alexis wrote to tell me about school, some new friends, and a cheerleading class she ‘loved.’ She chattered about each one and then made this statement: ‘I’m doing just great in my life. How about yours?’

Her words brought a smile to my face. Alexis will do all right in this world if she already recognizes that her life is a good one. Most eight year olds consider the positive things in life as something to be expected. I suspect she will grow up to look at a glass as half full rather than half empty.

I reflected further on her words the next few days. Was I, like Alexis, doing great in my life? I’m still happily married to the man I wed over forty years ago. I have two children who are independent and settled as well as three grandchildren who light up my life more often than not. I count my many friends as a special blessing as well as reasonably good health for my age. Yes, I’m doing great in my life, and I hope I’ll stay aware of that as the years march on. Don’t I ever have problems? You bet I do, but I choose to dwell on the good things rather than the sad. Because I do that, my happiness quotient is a lot higher than my misery measure.

One way to keep your life a good one is to have a positive outlook. Many years ago, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale wrote a book titled The Power Of Positive Thinking. It became a bestseller, read by thousands, long before Oprah’s Book Club created reader selections. The title alone offered all the advice found within the covers of the book. It obviously made an impact on me, as I retained that piece of advice and put it in practice most of the time.

Negative views create imaginary black clouds that hover above the person who carries them like heavy baggage. The more negative the outlook, the heavier that baggage becomes. Always finding the down side of life can become a habit. The ‘Poor Me’ syndrome gains attention. This type of personality may elicit sympathy from others, but these people also risk losing friends. We’d all prefer happy stories rather than tales of woe.

by Nancy Julien Kopp

~~~

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”

Oprah Winfrey

~~~

She did invent this new survivor show:

Six married men will be dropped on an island with 1 car and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks.  Each kid plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes.

There is no access to fast food.

Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.

The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.  There is only one TV between them and there is NO REMOTE

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves, either while driving or while making four lunches.

They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m.; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4-year-old to eat a serving of peas.

The kids vote them off the island, based on performance.

The last man wins …..

Only if ……….. He has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over again for the next 18-25 years … eventually earning the right to be called “Mother.”

One more thing, they cannot kill themselves or the kids, or they automatically get voted off.

~~~

Did you see this ad? Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience with Princes, Seeks Frog.

~~~

Why are we still there?

It is time to take a serious look at our involvement there.

Every day there are news reports about more deaths. Every night on the TV are photos of death and destruction. Why are we still there?

The land is too large to secure all of it. The bad people causing this damage can roam anywhere, and we can’t possibly police the whole place. Why are we still there?

We occupy this land, which we had to take by force, but it causes us nothing but trouble. Why are we still there?

Their government is unstable, and in the process of changing. Why are we still there?

Refugees are fleeing by the thousands, driven from their homes. Why are we still there?

It will cost billions to rebuild, which we can’t afford. Why are we still there?

We can’t even secure the borders. Why are we still there?

And to repeat. Every day we hear of more Americans killed in this dangerous land.

It is clear! We must abandon California

~~~

Gravity…It’s Not Just a Good Idea. It’s the Law.

~~~

The farmer stood in his chicken yard watching hundreds of baby chicks running here and there.  He kept pointing to them and trying    to count them.  “One, two, three, four, five, six, oh, no…” then he would start over, “one, two, three, four, and,… oh, no.” Then he’d start over again.

Finally he said, “I give up.  They say don’t count your chickens before they hatch but it sure is easier to do that than it is to count them after they hatch.”

~~~

I’ve broken so many mirrors in my life, if I live long enough to have all that bad luck, I’ll be lucky…

~~~

A Jewish man reads about Einstein’s theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.

“Well, zayda, it’s sort of like this.  Einstein says that if you’re having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a minute seems like an hour. But if you’re sitting with a beautiful woman on your lap, an hour seems like a minute.”

The old man considers this profound bit of thinking for a moment and says,  “And from this he makes a living?”

~~~

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

Maya Angelou

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Stay Happy, Avoid the Cynic

Ray’s Daily

January 29, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

The most unrealistic person in the world is the cynic, not the dreamer.

Paul Hawken

 be optimistic

It seems that these days more and more people have given up on their ability to be happy. It appears that we have become so polarized that many of us don’t even talk to others having closed our minds to the good around us.

The sad thing is what the cynics only see storm clouds. I think cynicism is a great barrier to building warm interpersonal relationships. I know I much prefer making friends with folks who appreciate the positive and don’t focus on the negative.

Here is a piece I picked up at he BITTERSWEET blog that I like.

Refuse Cynicism

Cynicism is sneaky and subtle. It creeps upon one’s hopes frame by frame, snatching hatchling hope with suspicions of corruption and incompetence, permitting our hearts to remain unaffected and unengaged—wholly ours and not each other’s. The needs, too big, and my little, not enough. This cynical worldview centers on issues, polarities, and the magnitude of it all to the degree that action seems futile and fatigue inevitable.

But it’s false and dissatisfying, precisely because cynicism is a way of not seeing. It requires no commitment, spreading and thickening without our conscious choice. It’s easy to settle in the defaults presented to us, accept the sweeping narratives of despair and confusion.

So how to turn toward that which is lovely and just, right and beautiful? What is the practice, the posture? This takes extraordinary commitment and intention. But unlike cynicism, it is not exhausting. This practice draws us in a deep way toward meaning, humility, gratitude, and respect. Toward fullness. Of heart and soul, of belief and hope. With this choice to reject cynicism and see beyond it, we are reacquainted with awe and wonder and the joy of mystery and life. We are freed to see people as infinitely dimensional and unconditionally worthy of respect and listening—not condemned and small, but expansive and perfectly made. Each of us given to each other. This way of seeing turns bleakest terrain treasure-filled, every plain rock a marvel gem.

~~~

Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us.

Stephen Colbert

~~~

She said:

PATIENCE (pa*shens)n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.

WATERPROOF MASCARA (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah)n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

VALENTINE’S DAY (val*en*tinez dae)n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

~~~

Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.

When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, “It’s no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size.”

~~~

The child comes home from his first day at school.

His mother asks, “Well, what did you learn today?”

The kid replies, “Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow.”

~~~

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.

~~~

A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing when his approach speed was just a little too fast.

San Jose Tower:  “American 751 heavy, turn right at the end, if able.  If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport.

~~~

  1. What’s the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold?
  2. Nothing, if the pregnant woman’s husband knows what’s good for him.

~~~

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

~~~

I remember when Grandmas tended to their knitting, and their cookies were just swell.  They were always at the ready, when you needed some advice.  And their sewing (I can tell you) was available–and nice.  Well, Grandma’s not deserted you, she dearly loves you still..

She prints pictures by the pound.  She’s right there when you need her, you really aren’t alone, She’s out now with her “‘puter pals,” but she took her new cell phone. You can also leave a message on her answering machine; or page her at the fun meet;

She’s been there since eight fifteen. Yes, the world’s a very different place, there is no doubt of that. So “E” her from her web page, or join her in a chat.  She’s joined the electronic age,

and it really seems to suit her.

So don’t expect the same old gal, cause Grandma’s gone “Computer”

~~~

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

~~~

He went to United Airlines and asked for a reservation from Los Angeles to New York. The clerk knew that the plane was very full with baggage and passengers.
“How much do you weigh, Sir?” asked the clerk.
“With or without clothes?” the passenger asked.
“Well,” said the clerk, “how do you intend to travel?”

~~~

Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your children.
~~~

A young man decided to join the police force. As a recruit he was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”

He answered, “Call for backup.”

~~~

The cynic thinks that he is being practical and that the hopeful person is not. It is actually the other way around. Cynicism is paralyzing, while the naive person tries what the cynic says is impossible and sometimes succeeds.

Charles Eisenstein

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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