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Make a positive change

Ray’s Daily

September 10, 2021


“Recognize what you have inside you.”

Eric Pulier

What lies ahead depends on how we deal with the challenges we face. While we cannot change the roadblocks we encounter, we can change how we deal with them. Too many of us seem to believe that there is not much we can do during difficult times but we do have the ability to cope with what comes our way if we have the courage to do so.

Recently Jon Gorden sent me an article that offers advice on how we can deal with our challenges, here are excerpts from the article that I think are on target.

5 Ways to Create Positive Change

1) Control What You Can Control – It’s simple but it’s true. You can’t control what people are saying and thinking about you. You can’t control most things in life but you can control your attitude, your effort and your actions. 

2) Create Inside-Out – The noise, media, negativity, and criticism only have power over you if you let it. If you know the truth that you create from the inside-out, not outside in, then you won’t your circumstances define you. When you know the power is on the inside and you create the world with your beliefs, passion, positivity, purpose, work ethic, soul and spirit you become a powerful force in the world. 

3) Focus on Solutions instead of Complaints – When things are not going well and you are being bombarded with negativity it’s easy to complain. But great leaders don’t complain. They focus on solutions. Instead of complaining about what’s holding you back, think about solutions that will propel you forward. 

4) Embrace Change – Individuals and organizations that thrive embrace the entire process of transition and change knowing it leads to improvement and growth. Throughout history we see that individuals and organizations that embrace the waves of change ride it to a successful future. Those who resist the wave get crushed by it.

5) Stay Positive and Do the Work – It may sound cliché but it’s a huge key to success. Through challenges, adversity and negativity you must simply stay positive and continue to do the work. You control what you control. Tune out the noise. Focus on solutions.


“Inspiration comes from within yourself. One has to be positive. When you’re positive, good things happen.”

Deep Roy


Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby.

Somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a parent normal is history.

Somebody said being a parent is boring.

Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.

Somebody said “good” parents never raise their voices.

Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see his or her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window.

Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a parent.

Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

 Somebody said a parent can stop worrying after his or her child gets married.

Somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to their heartstrings.

Somebody said your parents know you love them so you don’t need to tell them.

Somebody isn’t a parent.

Somebody said a parent’s job is done when the last child leaves home.

Somebody never had grandchildren


A doctor said to his patient: “You have a slight heart condition, but I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Really, Doc?” the patient replied. “Well, if you had a slight heart condition I wouldn’t worry about it either.”


One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had contributed a $1,000 bill.

He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation, and said he’d like to personally thank the person who had placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, “I’ll take him and him and him.”


Listen to the passion of your soul, set the wings of your spirit free; and let not a single song go unsung.

Sylvana Rossetti


A guy was visiting his friend in the hospital who was “all torn up.”

“What happened?” he asked.

“Well, we were hunting the Mumba snake. It has yellow and black stripes, and likes to sun itself lying across a pathway in the jungle. You catch it by grabbing the tip of it’s tail with one hand and quickly running your other hand up the length of it’s body so you can grab it behind the neck.”

“Go on,” the friend urged.

“Well, I stealthily sneaked up to the tail laying across the jungle path, grabbed it by the end and rapidly moved my other hand upward … just as the procedure goes.”

“So why are you so banged up?” the friend asked.

“Have you ever goosed a tiger?”


We had Cured Ham for Christmas dinner.  We all wondered what illness it was cured of.


A zoning board had just been set up in a new community.  A householder went to the office to request permission to build a small tool shed in his backyard.

“Have you a plan?” asked the director.

“Oh, yes,” said the householder, who showed him a map of his neighborhood, the dimension of his yard, and a sketch of the shed.

“That looks fine,” said the director.  He pulled out a piece of paper, wrote a few words on it, Xeroxed it, and said, “Here’s your permission.”

A month later, a neighbor in almost exactly the same situation also wanted permission for a shed in her yard.  She went to the director, got as far as a secretary, and made her request.  “Thank you, Mrs. Smith,” said the secretary, taking the documents.  “Telephone me in two weeks and I’ll let you know what the director’s decision is, or what further steps are necessary.”

“But,” groaned Mrs. Smith, “a month ago my neighbor got permission right away.”

“Oh, yes,” said the secretary, “but that was before we finally got organized.”


“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.”

George Levinger


“The Jewish people have observed their 5758th year as a people.” the teacher informed his class. “Consider that the Chinese have observed only their 4695th. What does this mean to you?” After a reflective pause, Little Johnny volunteered, “Well for one thing, the Jews had to do without Chinese food for 1063 years!


“Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.”

Harlan Miller


A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.

“I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up.”

Nine hands went up.

“Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man.

“Too much trouble,” came the reply.


“To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the ‘what is next’, of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here.”

Mark Twain


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

We can do a lot

Ray’s Daily

September 9, 2021


Coming together is a beginning.

Keeping together is progress.

Working together is success.

Henry Ford

Ray’s Daily first published on September 9, 2005

 We are again learning what we can do when we all work together. Individuals, organizations, and even nations have come together in response to the challenges created by hurricane Katrina. Just think what our world would be like if we chose to stay together on an ongoing basis. Too often we think of the great human tragedies as being solvable only by others, when if we all rallied to the cause we could do amazing things. It is again obvious that it is not just our money that makes a difference; it is also our hearts, our hands, and our minds.

Over the past month or so I have had people join our daily distribution from as far away as New Zealand and Australia. It just reinforces the fact that we are rapidly becoming a flat global society. We no longer have to communicate with each other through the media or via contacts made by national leaders. Our readers in the farthest reaches of the globe are just as close as my next door neighbor, and like Ford said, coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress, and working together is success. We are all members of the family of man and we should do all we can for our family.

A friend from Iceland years ago chose as his theme “Together We Can Do it,” and you know what? He was right, we can work miracles if we want to bad enough. Katrina is an unprecedented disaster, let her legacy be that we learned to come together and never again drifted apart.

Inspiration does not come from just words or out of the mouths of the famous, it comes from what is done by people like you, people who at the end of the day can look back and say, I did OK today. Miracles will happen in the weeks and months ahead because of the hands and hearts of thousands, not the pronouncements of a few. Too all of you who are doing so much, thank you.


Working together works.

Dr. Rob Gilbert

During a temporary shutdown of operations at a large plant, trained police dogs were hired to protect the building from vandalism. A company executive who was unaware of the new regime arrived at the plant early one morning.

As the executive was walking down the corridor to his office, he came face to face with one of the dogs, accompanied by his trainer.

The dog reacted to the presence of the stranger by baring his teeth and uttering a menacing growl. The executive froze to the spot. The trainer shouted in an authoritative tone the command:


The unnerved executive promptly sat down on the floor.


We should make tail lights different colors so that gridlock is more interesting.


Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop.  

“I operated on Mr. Lee the other day,” said the surgeon.  

“What for?” asked his colleague.  

“About $17,000.”  

“What did he have?”  

“Oh…  About $17,000.”  


Nadine confided to Jill, “My cooking left my husband cold.”

“He divorced you because of your cooking?”  Jill asked.

“No,” Nadine replied, “he died.”


There are two kinds of home-repair projects:

Those too big to undertake yourself and those too small to bother with.

The first kind, you can’t afford, and the second kind, if left alone, will develop into something you can’t afford either.


A great many people confuse their lack of planning with an emergency.


Here is what she sent:

Ten Interesting Points about Men

1. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

2. All men hate to hear, “We need to talk about our relationship.” These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwartzkopf.

3. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

4. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

5. Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

6. Men forget everything; women remember everything. Think about it! How many women’s sports use something called an “instant replay?”

7. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

8. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

9. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I’ve never seen a man walk into a party and say, “Oh no, I’m so embarrassed; I’ve got to get out of here. There’s another man wearing a black tuxedo.”

10. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.


“Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.”

Janet Long


She said: One of my most difficult tasks as a flight attendant is to enforce rules while keeping customers happy.  The electronic equipment that comes on board creates the greatest challenge.  I walk the aisle asking passengers to turn off computers, electronic games and cell phones, which can create interference in communications between the pilot and the air traffic control tower.

During one landing, a man persistently kept his cell phone at his ear. I confronted him and said, “Sir, you cannot talk on your phone until we reach the gate.”

“I am not talking,” he replied.  “I’m listening.”


Do bankruptcy lawyers really expect to be paid?


A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy old castle. At the end of the tour the guide asks her how she enjoyed it. She admits to being a bit worried about seeing a ghost in some of the dark cobwebby rooms and passages.  

“Don’t worry” says the guide, “I’ve never seen a ghost all the time I’ve been here.”  

“How long is that?” asks the girl.  

“About three hundred years.”  


“My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.”

P. J. Plauger


Stephanie, the young blonde, came running through the door. “Uncle!  Uncle!  Guess what?”

“What?”  The surprised uncle replied.

“I was getting a hundred dollars a week and the boss just doubled my salary!”

“Really?” said Uncle.  “That’s great!  What are you getting now?”

Stephanie beamed with pride and answered, “A hundred dollars every two weeks!”


Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

T.S. Eliot


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Happy Days Ahead

Ray’s Daily

September 8, 2021


“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.”

Albert Camus

Soon it will be autumn. The trees will begin their annual hibernation with a burst of color. Favorite sweaters will be retrived from their summer hideouts. We also will feast on the results of a bountiful harvest. I am glad I live in a part of the world where the changing seasons offer so much enjoyment.

I hope this fall will provide you as much warmth and enjoyment as it will for me. Need help? Here are excerpts form an article posted on the Live a Sunshine Life blog.


NATURE WALKS: – Hikes are one of my favorite ways to take in all that is Autumn. It’s a wonderful opportunity to see the colors of the season, enjoy the breeze, the crunch of the leaves under your feet.

GRATITUDE: – When I think of the fall season my mind immediately gravitates toward gratitude. Gratitude for my family, the things I have, even the seasonal harvest of our area.

HOLIDAYS: – It doesn’t matter what religion you are or if you are a secular family, there is a holiday for you during the fall season.

FOOD:  – Take some time and savor the flavors of the season.

BLANKETS: – Snuggling up all warm and cozy on the couch watching movies is one of the sure signs the season is changing. Top it all off with a steaming cup of hot chocolate and you’ve got just one more of the awesome perks of the season.

FALL ACTIVITIES:  – What’s your favorite fall activity? We’re all about the pumpkin patch and apple orchards! I’ve already mentioned nature walks, but don’t forget corn mazes, hay rack rides, bonfires, and making caramel apples.

VOLUNTEER:  – Remember, you can donate your time if you don’t have the money if you’re looking for another way to give back to your community.

SENSES:  – Explore the fall season with all of your senses. I’ve mentioned the flavors and some of the sights, but don’t forget the sounds, the textures, and even the smells of the season. There’s a lot going on and it’s a wonderful thing. Take some time to just be in the moment and truly appreciate the season and everything it has to offer.

PARTY:  – Parties. Halloween parties, Thanksgiving parties, football parties, even birthday parties. You can celebrate so many things with a party. All you need is food, friends and fun. Nothing makes the fall season better than enjoying it with the people you love to be around the most.


“It looked like the world was covered in a cobbler crust of brown sugar and cinnamon.”  Sarah Addison Allen,~


“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”

Author unknown


After the church service, a little boy told the pastor, “When I grow up, I’m going to give you some  money.”

“Well, thank you,” the pastor replied, “but why?”

“Because my daddy says you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.”


“Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.” 

Pablo Picasso


The woman was always frequenting small antique shops, but regardless of what she saw there, she always complained about something.  The quality was poor, the prices too high, or the selection was limited. The shop owners took it in stride, but one day, while ranting and raving, she yelled at the clerk, “Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?”

The clerk simply smiled and replied, “Possibly, ma’am, because we’re too polite.”


“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.”

Gene Hill


While teaching children about world religions, a teacher asked her students to bring a symbol of their family’s faith to class. The next day, she asked each student to come forward and share the symbol with the class.

The 1st child said, “I’m Muslim, and this is my prayer rug.”

The 2nd child said, “I’m Jewish, and this is my family’s menorah.”

The 3rd child said, “I’m Roman Catholic, and this is my Mom’s rosary.”

The 4th child said, “I’m Greek Orthodox, and this is an icon of my patron saint.”

The 5th child said, “I’m Southern Baptist, and this is my casserole dish.”


TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have 10 years ago.



My daughter-in-law, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth.  Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered. 

Her response:  “Just meet me in the parking lot!”


I know so little that it astonishes me how many people know even less.


My phone bill was past due and I needed to change my service, so I had to visit the local office. The line wasn’t clearly formed, and there was an old man with a cane nearby me. It was unclear as to who was next.

When we got to the front of the line, the man gestured to me and said, “After you.”

I smiled at him and said, “No, please, after you. I have all day.”

The he said, “No. You go ahead. My doctor says I have at least six months.”


“Autumn would come to this place of welcome, this place I would know to be home. Autumn would come and the air would grow cool, dry and magic, as it does that time of the year.”

Henry Rollins


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Be Independent

Ray’s Daily

September 7, 2021


As is our confidence, so is our capacity.

William Hazlitt

Yesterday was a national holiday in my country, it was our annual Labor Day celebration. In my lifetime it always seemed to mark the ending of summer and the beginning of a more active work life.

In my retirement it is up to me how I will live the months ahead. You may have heard me say that my children have become my parents. In some ways the assistance they provide my wife and myself have gone a long way in smothing the bumpy road that accompanies aging.

I find that it is up to me to avoid becoming so dependent on others that I become a burden. It is important that I retain as much independence as possible in my later years. Here is an edited article that I took from the Inspirational Stories blog that reminded me of the value of retaining our independence.

8 Benefits Of Having Independence

Outlined here are eight reasons why achieving independence is essential.

1.  Being independent is a boost to your confidence. – The more independent you are, the more confident you will become. Having confidence gives you a positive outlook on life.  You are going to be willing to do things on your own, without needing support or approval from others.

2.  You will not need to rely on others. – Self-reliance is a significant element in being an independent person.  A person who is self-reliant and makes decisions with confidence is going to find themselves being relied on.  This can make them feel more valuable and even indispensable.

3.  Emotional independence makes you happier. – Keeping our emotions from dominating our lives is essential if we are to be confident and able to make decisions from a position of inner strength.  Knowing that our emotions are under control brings a sense of contentment and calm. 

4.  Freedom through financial independence. – While the pursuit of money should not dominate your life, having an income that meets all your financial requirements means you will be a happy person. Having sufficient money means you can pursue other interests and pursue other goals, knowing your lifestyle is safe.

5.  Being independent makes you a better decision-maker. –  If you are dependent on other people, your ability to make clear, precise decisions is severely affected.  You will always have to consider the effect that your choices will have on those other people.

6.  Independence leads to personal improvement. – Personal growth, both emotional and professional, is worth pursuing.  Your independence will allow you to follow your instincts and indulge your curiosity without others holding you back.  You will be able to check out new opportunities and try your skills and talents on new projects.

7.  Independence leads to broader horizons. – Independence can give you a broader, more all-embracing view of the world, and prevent you from adopting a narrow mind-set.  You will welcome adventure and see more clearly the rewards of taking risks.

8.  Independence is a boost to your self-esteem. – If you see yourself in a positive light, then you will have greater belief in your abilities.  In turn, this will give you more confidence, and you will take a positive approach to working towards your goals. When you can act independently in each of these areas of your life, then you will have become a mature adult with a positive attitude towards everything you do.  This is why independence is important.


Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.

Stewart Stafford



You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.- Alan, age 10


You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.- Derrick, age 8


Both don’t want any more kids.- Lori, age 8


Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.- Lynnette, age 8


When they’re rich.- Pam, age 7


It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.- Anita, age 9


There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?- Kevin, age 8


Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.- Ricky, age 10


A real computer expert is someone who can make a mistake and not get mad at the computer.


Two cowboy friends, Joe and Bob, each bought a horse one summer. They enjoyed riding around and doing the things that cowboys do.

When winter came, however, they did not want to pay to have their horses stabled for the winter. Instead, they decided to release them in a pasture and get them in the spring.

Joe noticed a problem however, and he asked Bob, “How will we know which horse is which when we pick them up?”

Bob answered, “Well, I’ve been thinking about that, and I have the answer! We’ll cut the mane off of my horse and we’ll cut the tail off of yours. That way, we’ll know which horse belongs to you and which belongs to me.”

That seemed like a great plan, and so after the trimmings, the horses were released into the pasture. When spring came around, Joe and Bob came to get their horses, only to discover that the mane and tail had grown back during the winter.

“Bob, since the mane and tail have grown back, how do we know which is yours and which is mine?” Joe asked.

Bob responded, “Well, I guess you’ll have to take the black one and I’ll take the white one.”


Paris Hilton is reportedly upset because her private diaries have been stolen. Police say the suspect must have had access to her bedroom; so, it could be anyone.

Conan O’Brien


She said: During my training as a medical-group receptionist, I was told never to recommend one of our doctors over another, but simply state who had available appointments.  

One day a woman came in and looked at me conspiratorially. “I’m a nurse,” she whispered, “and I know the staff always knows which doctors are good and which aren’t. Who do you think I should see?”  

Knowing my supervisor was listening close by, I tried to sound most professional. “Oh, I’m sorry,” I replied. “I can’t recommend any of our doctors.”  

“Well, you must know!” she said, heading for the door.  


“This is America. If you don’t like spaghetti and meatballs, then you can just get the hell out!”

Steve Buscemi



It can take some of the fun out of your vacation when you discover that neither last year’s budget nor last year’s bathing suit fits.

Wouldn’t it be nice if they paid you during your 50 weeks of work the way they charge your during your two weeks vacation?

It’s amazing after 50 weeks of work to realize how little we can afford our two weeks vacation.

Workers need a vacation to refresh their minds, renew their spirits, and remind them that they need a second job to pay for next year’s vacation.

Experts recommend that people do something totally different on their vacations. For a lot of us, that would be work.

When you do nothing for two weeks and get paid for it, that’s the perfect vacation. When you do nothing for 50 weeks and get paid for it, that’s the perfect job.

The question is do we need two weeks of vacation to recover from 50 weeks of work, or 50 weeks of work to recover from a two-week vacation?


Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.


A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up.  

“You’ve been on for five miles–that’ll be 50p, please, and 10p for your suitcase.”  

The Scotsman responds, “I ha’not, I want a ha’penny fare, just got on this vera moment.”  

They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more and more enraged, and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman’s suitcase and hurls it out of the bus. It lands in the river and sinks without a trace.  

The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, “Not only are ye tryin’ to overcharge me for the ticket–but now ye’ve gone an’ drowned me boy Angus!”


Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.



Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

It’s the contents that counts

Ray’s Daily

September 3, 2021


“When things change inside you, things change around you.”

I worry sometimes that some of us spend so much time polishing our image that we don’t have time to enhance our character.  It is not the suit we wear that defines who we are, it is whats inside the suit that counts. An expensive automobile does not take us anywhere that a more modest one does not.

In life we should not let the container be substituted for its contents. Here is a story that can help us keep our perspective.

A  cup and  coffee

A group of highly established alumni got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation among them soon turned into complaints about their stressful work and life. The professor went to his kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups, including porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive and some exquisite. The professor told them to help themselves to the coffee.

After all the students had a cup of coffee in their hands, the professor said: “ Did you notice all the nice looking cups are taken and only the plain inexpensive ones are left behind. While it is normal for everyone to want the best for themselves, but that is the source of problems and stress in your life. “ “ The cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most of the cases, it’s just more expensive and hides what we drink.”, the professor continued.

“What  all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but all of you consciously went for good looking expensive cups and then began eyeing on each other’ s cups.”

“Let’s consider that life is the coffee and the jobs, houses, cars, things, money and position are the cups.  The type of cup we have, does not define or change the quality of our lives.”

Moral: Sometimes we fail to enjoy the coffee by concentrating only on the cup we have. Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s around you is perfect. It means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections and find peace. And the peace lies within you, not in your career, jobs, or the houses you have.


“You should feel beautiful and you should feel safe. What you surround yourself with should bring you peace of mind and peace of spirit.”

Stacy London


Have you ever noticed that when you’re of a certain age, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection……..Well, REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You’re risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually “believe” the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on — but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they’ve printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon “everyone” of us will have to suffer these awful indignities.


PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has caused fonts to be smaller than they once were!


A southern belle was looking to buy a house. The seller said, “This house hasn’t got a flaw in it!” The southern belle replied, “My lands! What do y’all walk on?”


A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.

Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their “freedom.” As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, “I don’t know about you, but in MY congregation, it’s my face they would recognize.”


Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.

Samuel Butler


A man goes to see the doctor because he has a sore throat. The nurse tells him to take all his clothes off and sit on the bench in the hall. The man tries to protest, but the nurse doesn’t listen and just repeats the same orders then leaves the area. The man complies with her orders and joins another naked man sitting on the bench. The man starts complaining to the man already sitting there, that he only has a sore throat and doesn’t understand why he has to take all his clothes off. The man who was already sitting on the bench nude, looks at the other man and says “You think that’s bad, I’m just here to pay my bill.”


“A man sent a postcard from Las Vegas to a friend:

Having a wonderful time.

Wish I could afford it.”

Myron Cohen


A man owned a small farm in South Georgia. The Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help  and sent an social security agent to interview him.

“You just give me a list of your employees and tell me how much you pay them.”

“All right,” said the farmer. “I have a hired man. Been with me for three years. I pay him $400 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She’s been here six months. She gets $300 a week plus room and board.”

“Anybody else?” asked the agent as he scribbled on a note pad.

“Yeah,” the farmer said. “There’s a half-wit here. Works about eighteen hours a day. I pay him ten

dollars a week and give him chewing tobacco.”

“Aha!” the agent roared. “I want to talk to that half-wit!”

“You’re talkin’ to him now,” said the farmer.


“You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,” sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.   “If I wasn’t under oath, I’d return the compliment,” replied the witness.


. “Life imposes things on you that you can’t control, but you still have the choice of how you’re going to live through this.”

Celine Dion


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.


Ray’s Daily

September 2, 2021


“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

Marcel Proust

I was chatting with a friend the other day about how important the friends we have are to our well being these days. My friends family have suggested she move to another state to be close to her daughter which means she would be leaving behind her friends.

In my community many of us spend more time with our friends than with family members which is understandable. It is important to me that my children and grandchildren concentrate on living their own lives without my wife and me becoming their burden. In reality the friends we make later in life become as important to us as are our family members. I hope I am worthy of your friendship.

Whose list are you on?

I had to say goodbye to someone. You know I hate goodbyes, so I struggled with what I needed to say to him. But at the same time I discovered something special about how I feel about people and myself.

The following is taken, in part, from the note I just emailed to him:

‘It’s the thing about caring for people. They get into your life, sometimes briefly, and manage to become a part of who you are. Not all people, but those special individuals who arrive unexpectedly and linger there. How does it happen?

They are the ones who, the first time you meet them, touch you in such a way that they leave an imprint on your heart. They are the people you look for and hope to meet along the way. They make the journey easier. Some become close friends and share everyday happenings in your life. Others just pass through leaving behind bits and pieces of who they are.

Then there are those who are always there, but off in the distance somewhere within reach whenever you need them. You may only see them once in awhile, but when you do you are made better, lifted up, energized by the time you shared with them.’

After reading this I thought about the many people in my life who fit into this group. I realized how many people I depend on each day, sometimes just to get through it. I am blessed beyond measure. It also brought up this question…’Am I one of those people?’

Wouldn’t it be great if we could become more like the people we personally depend on?

Like the old, ‘If you want a good friend, be one.’ or, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world.’

Look at the people around you that you love and depend on daily. Make a list of all of the qualities they possess that you admire and value. Now, take that same list and ask yourself, ‘I am I as good a person?’ Do you reflect those same qualities in the lives of others? Now, ask yourself, ‘Whose list are you on?’

Written by Bob Perks


“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.”

Arnold H. Glasgow


Nathan is talking to his lawyer. “Here’s the deal, Abe. If you’re absolutely sure I’ll win the case, I’ll give you the business.”

“OK,” replies Abe, “but before I can give you my opinion, I obviously need to know the facts.”

So Nathan goes into great detail about his failed partnership and ends up saying, “So now you’ve heard everything, do you think I can sue my partner and get my money back?”

“Well,” replies Abe, “from what I’ve just heard, it’s clear to me that you will win. It’s rare to have such an open-and-shut case.”

Nathan goes very white when he hears this.

“What’s the matter?” asks Abe.

“I told you my partner’s side of the case,” replies Nathan.


If you love someone, fight fair.


Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per person. “However, if you’re over 65,” he said, ” the price will be only $5.50.”

From the back of the congregation, a woman’s voice rang out, “Do you really think I’d give you that information for only 50 cents?”


“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.”

Bertrand Russel


Actual quotes of Bill Peterson, legendary Florida State football coach:

  • “I’m the football coach around here and don’t you remember it.” 
  • “You guys line up alphabetically by height.” 
  • “You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.” 
  • “I used to have this slight speech implement and couldn’t remember things before I took the Sam Carnegie course.”
  • “Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only:   Super Bowl.”
  • “Just remember the words of Patrick Henry – ‘Kill me or let me live.'”
  • “The greatest thing just happened to me. I just got indicted into the Florida Sports Hall of Fame. They had a standing observation for me.”


We recently went to a seaside resort for a change and a rest. The maid got the change and hotel got the rest!


Jack’s grandfather left him ten million dollars, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men.  Finally, he decided to confront her.

“Diane,” he said, “was the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me ten million dollars when he died?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied, “I don’t care who gave you the money!”


“If it’s beautifully arranged on the plate, you know someone’s fingers have been all over it.”

Julia Child


President Bush was very curious about how the Jewish people knew everything before he did. So he called the CIA and FBI and asked them to figure it out. A week later they came back and said, “Mr. President, the Jews have something called Shabbat, and they meet each other at the synagogue, and there is a code.

They sit, they pray, and there is a word that is the key to this secret: “Nu?” When one says to other, “Nu?”, the other tells him everything… every bit of news.”

This Bush wanted to see for himself. The secret service dressed him like a Hassid, and taught him to read from the right to the left of the Siddur (prayer book ).

Bush arrived at a synagogue on Shabbat, and sat beside another religious man. He waited for a moment, and said, “Nu?”

The man answered… “Shh, Bush is coming!”


“My car has this feature I guess is standard, because it was on my last car, too. It has a rotating gas tank. No matter what side of the pump I pull up to, it’s on the other side.”  

Rita Rudner


“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

Albert Schweitzer


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.


Ray’s Daily

September 1, 2021


Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.

Dalai Lama

Too many of us wait so long to be happy that we miss many of life’s pleasures. Here is a piece I may have sent you before that reminds us to quit waiting for happiness.

Be Happy Now!

by: Alfred D. Souza

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we’re frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are. After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We’ll certainly be happy when they’re out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said, “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with… and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting … until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you’re off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink, until you’ve sobered up, until you die, until you’re born again to decide that.

There is no better time than right now to be happy!


Happiness consists more in conveniences of pleasure that occur everyday than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom.

Benjamin Franklin


Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers.  The reason?  A medical billing service had launched an 800 number that was identical to hers.  When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number.  I’ve had mine for twenty years,” she pleaded.  “Couldn’t you change yours?”

The company refused.

So Mom said, “Fine.  From now on, I’m going to tell everyone who calls that the bill is paid in full.”

The company got a new number the next day.


“I’m just a poor preacher.”

“I know. I’ve heard your sermons.”


A college student challenged a senior citizen saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. “You grew up in a different world,” the student said. “Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers . . . “

Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany, the senior said, “You’re right. We didn’t have those things when we were young. So we invented them!”


The argument you just won with your spouse isn’t over yet


On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light.  Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” she said, “but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time.”


Boy is this true!!! The problem with telephones is that they never nap when you do.


Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute – listen to my side of it.  This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.  I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t lock the house with both house and car keys inside.  I had to break a window to get my keys.

Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket.  Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.  When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.  I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.  Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.

I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels – the phone is still ringing – when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.  The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it.

It was your wife – she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

And Mister, I TOLD HER!”


Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.


A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the hostess, “My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand when you tell him about all the bargains,” the hostess replied.

“Normally, yes,” the lady said. “But he just broke his leg, and he’s waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set.”


It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.

James Thurber


In the presence of a client he wished to impress, a high-powered executive flipped on his intercom switch and barked to his secretary, “Miss Jones, get my broker!”

The visitor was duly impressed until the secretary’s voice floated back into the room, loud and clear and said, “Yes, sir. Stock or pawn?”


Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.

Robertson Davies


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.


Ray’s Daily

August 31, 2021


Yes, the truth may hurt but lies will become a crutch and will cripple you.

Stephen T. Scott

Ray’s Daily first published on August 31, 2004

One of the things that truly frightens me this political season is how easy it is for people I know to say whatever justifies the ends that they seek. The same applies to the advocacy groups, the political spokespersons, and others. What must our children think when they see us placing less value on truth and accuracy than we do on winning or getting what we want. It seems too easy to sacrifice morality for expediency. I did not write the following but I believe it is absolutely right.

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.

If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.

If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.

If you plant perseverance, you will reap victory.

If you plant consideration, you will reap harmony.

If you plant hard work, you will reap success.

If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.

If you plant openness, you will  reap intimacy.

If you plant patience, you will reap improvements.

If you plant faith, you will reap miracles.


If you plant dishonesty, you will reap distrust.

If you plant selfishness, you will reap loneliness.

If you plant pride, you will reap destruction.

If you plant envy, you will reap trouble.

If you plant laziness, you will reap stagnation.

If you plant bitterness, you will reap isolation.

If you plant greed, you will reap loss.

If you plant gossip, you will reap enemies.

If you plant worries, you will reap wrinkles.

If you plant sin, you will reap guilt.

So, be careful what you plant, now; it will determine what you will reap tomorrow. The seeds you now scatter will make life worse or better for you or for the ones who will come after you.

Yes, someday, you will enjoy the fruits or you will pay for the choices you plant today.

Believe or not, it’s up to you.


It is unfortunate, considering that enthusiasm moves the world, that so few enthusiasts can be trusted to speak the truth.

Arthur James Balfour


There are a number of nurses and Doctors on our list. I don’t know if any of the nurses are graduate nurses but I guess I will find out,

A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does.

An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up.

A Graduate Nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you can’t read it.

An experienced nurse doesn’t wear a name badge for liability reasons.

A Graduate Nurse charts too much.

An experienced nurse doesn’t chart enough.

A Graduate Nurse loves to run to codes.

An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.

A Graduate Nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.

An experienced nurse doesn’t want anyone to know they are a nurse.

A Graduate Nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.

An experienced nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.

A Graduate Nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.

An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them.

A Graduate Nurse can hear a beeping I-med at 50 yards.

An experienced nurse can’t hear any alarms at any distance.

A Graduate Nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.

An experienced nurse doesn’t want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.

A Graduate Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.

An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.

A Graduate Nurse thinks people respect Nurses.

An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.

A Graduate Nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.

An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.

A Graduate Nurse looks for a chance “to work with the family”

An experienced nurse avoids the family.

A Graduate Nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.

An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.

A Graduate Nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.

An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.

A Graduate Nurse always answers their phone.

An experienced nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.

A Graduate Nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.

An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

A Graduate Nurse carries reference books in their bag.

An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch, and some “cough syrup” in their bag.

A Graduate Nurse doesn’t find this funny.

An experienced nurse does.


“Make It Idiot Proof, and Someone Will Make a Better Idiot”


“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees.

“Yes, sir,” the new recruit replied.

“Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”


All people smile in the same language.


Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, “What is three times seven?”

“22,” Rick replied.  After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!) and realised he wouldn’t get the job.

About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, “Well, you were the closest…”


Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.


A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse looking as though he’d just escaped a tornado.

“What’s wrong?” a woman asked.

“I just lost a game to Houlihan,” the pro said.

“What? But Houlihan’s the worst player I’ve ever seen. How could he have beaten you?”

“He tricked me,” the pro said. “On the first tee, he asked for a handicap. I told him he could have 30, 40, 50 strokes – any handicap he wanted. He said, ‘Just give me two gotchas.'”

“What’s a gotcha?” asked the woman.

“That’s what I wanted to know,” the pro said. “Houlihan said, ‘You’ll see.’ Then, as I was teeing off, just as I had my club poised, he screamed out ‘Gotcha!'”

“I can guess what happened,” the woman said.

“Sure,” the pro said. “The scream threw me off, and I missed the ball completely.”

“Understandable,” the woman said. “But still, that’s only one swing. How did he win the game?”

The pro answered, “You try swinging at a golf ball while waiting for that second ‘gotcha!'”


“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away.”

Henry David Thoreau


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Laughter Works

Ray’s Daily

August 30, 2021


A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.

Mignon McLaughlin

These are tough times. Afganistan events, increased Covid deaths, Haitian earthquate casualties, a monster hurricane, floods and devistaing forest fires are all taking their toll.

It is hard these days to find much to be happy about but we need to avoid becoming depressed. I have found humor to be helpful during bad times.

I hope you still can find occasional laughter to be good medicine during hard times. In order for us to be part of the solution and not of the problem we need to keep a strong sense of humor. Here are tips fom the Wisdomtimes blog that can be helpful

Tips for a Developing Sense of Humor

1. Seek out humorous company – Try to be in the company of people who possess a good sense of humor. This will allow you to watch them and pick up a few tricks on how to develop your own sense of humor.

2. Make laughing a habit – Make a habit of laughing at least 10 times a day.

3. Make fun of Yourself – Try to make fun of yourself when you are in a group. Use parodies, pun or even gestures and expressions to their surprise.

4. Finding a funny twist to everything – Consciously observe the funny side of everything and make your own funny stories about things and events.

5. Building a fun reserve – Creating your own collection of jokes and fun stories and remember to use them at appropriate occasions.

What to avoid

Being sarcastic or derogatory when trying to be jovial.

Criticizing the audience if they do not laugh.

Emotional Benefits

Humor works wonders to bind us together while lightening our burdens. All may not be lucky to have the best spouse, children or even in-laws. But being able to laugh together definitely helps us control our anger, anxiety or even resentful feelings and try to iron out the differences in an amicable manner.


It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.

Margaret Cho


Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 85, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore.

Jacob suggests that they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:” Are you the owner?”

The pharmacist answers ” Yes”.

Jacob: “Do you sell heart medication?”

Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”

Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”

Pharmacist: “All kinds.”

Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism? “

Pharmacist: “Definitely.”

Jacob: “Medicine for memory?”

Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety.”

Jacob: “What about vitamins and sleeping pills?”

Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jacob turns to Rebecca:

“Sweetheart, we might as well register our wedding gift list with them!


A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves.


Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever handle the middle of the night feeding?”

“No. I always did that.”

“That must have been before you had women’s liberation.”

“No, it was before we had baby bottles.”


Quote from telephone inquiry “We’re only hiring one summer intern this year and we won’t start interviewing candidates for that position until the Boss’ daughter finishes her summer classes.


A priest was sitting on the steps of the church one spring day enjoying the sunshine.  He saw a young boy approaching him on the sidewalk pulling a wagon.  Every few yards one of the wheels would fall off the wagon, the boy would say “Damn!” put the wheel back on, and continue down the street, and a wheel would fall off again a few yards later.

As the boy neared the steps, the priest saw this as an opportunity to make an impression on the boy, and stopped him.  “You know,” he said to the boy, “when a wheel falls off your wagon, instead of using profanity, you should say ‘Praise the Lord!’ instead.”  He went on to tell the boy how Someone is always watching over us and how we should be careful to do the right thing at all times.

The boy acknowledged his words and thanked him, and went on down the street.  The priest stood there, feeling quite pleased with himself.  About 50 yards away from the steps, all four wheels fell off the wagon, the boy stopped, heaved a huge sigh, and said, “Praise the Lord!”  Instantly the wagon raised off the ground, all four wheels returned to their places.

Upon seeing this, the priest said, “Damn!”


“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

Germaine Greer


A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. “I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced.  “Will the laziest man please put his hand up?” Nine hands went up.

“Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man.

“Too much trouble,” came the reply.


Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here’s an incredibly simple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! Try it now!

Follow this simple procedure:

     1) Hold down the shift key.

     2) Hit the 4 key four times.


“To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you’re overdoing it.”

Josh Jenkins


At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn’t hear the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”

“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I’m sorry, Your Honor, I thought he was talking to you.”


Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.


An older lady is making her first visit to her new doctor’s office. Before seeing the doctor she is required to fill-out forms. A nurse in the office offers to help her do this. The nurse starts by asking, “How old are you, Mrs. Silver?”

“None of your business,” she responds. The nurse then says, “But the doctor must know your age for his records.”

Mrs. Silver replies, “Okay. Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?”

“Yes.” answers the nurse.

“All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?”

The nurse says, “Zero.”

Mrs. Silver responds, “Right! And that’s exactly the chance of me telling you my age.”


A sense of humor is the best indicator that you will recover; it is often the best indicator that people will love you. Sustain that and you have hope.

Andrew Solomon


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.


Ray’s Daily

August 27, 2021


“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real”

Thomas Merton

I have another early doctors appointment this morning so here is another reprint

Ray’s Daily first published on August 27, 2008

I had coffee with a media professional this morning where our conversation drifted to the pride we take in what we do. I shared with my friend that I felt that there are two kinds of pride, one is public the other is private. It is my feeling that far too many people fall into the trap of doing things only because it will provide them the ability to boast to others of their accomplishments. I am sure you know people who volunteer, join or do something just to get evidence that they can show to other people that demonstrates how special they are. I find many of them do what they do just for the notoriety and not because it is worth doing. I find this public display of pride to be overbearing and distasteful.

I relate more to those people who are driven by private pride. These are the folks that take pride in what they do and can at the end of each day feel good about their accomplishments. They don’t boast, they tend to be humble and in the process they gain the greatest gift we can give them, our respect.

I am sure I have been guilty of public pride, especially during my working years. My office walls were filled with plaques, awards, VIP photos, and the like. Fortunately not too many people saw what I had so I can rationalize that the display was for my personal reinforcement. In reality little of what I did then was as rewarding as what I have been able to do since. I think I have reached the point where I don’t think it is important that anyone else knows what I do as long as I do and that is more than enough for me.

It is in this spirit that I offer the following from Ralph Marston:

Anything you think to be “beneath” you will limit what you’re able to achieve. The people who are truly the most accomplished are those who do not consider themselves to be better than anyone else. Humility is critical to success. Why? Because lasting success in this world depends on the support of other people. And humility is a sincere expression of respect for those around you.

If others are constantly subjected to your pride and arrogance, then any success you manage to accomplish will be short-lived. Meaningful achievement comes from raising people up, not from putting them down. Those who are consumed with being better than everyone else, never give themselves the opportunity to be the best they can be.

Self importance and arrogant behavior reflect underlying weakness, while true strength, confidence and effectiveness are evidenced by quiet humility. Be a part of the world, not apart from the world, and your success will have a strong, solid foundation.


“Greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige.

It is discovered in goodness, humility, service, and character.”

William Arthur Ward


An older man strode in to his doctors office and said, “Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you’ve been giving to Mrs. Smith.”

“Oh, he did, did he?” the doctor shot back. “And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor’s orders?”

The old man says, “Since he found out I’ve been on birth control pills since December.”


“I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.”

Pablo Casals


She said: I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”

However, I used to get very frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat, legible tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.” My frustration is reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it will be there waiting.


The best cure for insomnia is plenty of sleep.

W.C. Fields


Two Jews, one old and one young, travel in a train in old Europe. The young Jew asks the Old Jew: -What time is it?

The old Jew does not answer.

After asking him 25 times, the young Jew seem to give up and asks the old Jew: – Tell me, why don’t you want to tell me what time it is?

The old Jew answers: – Because then you are going to ask me where I am going to and I will have to answer that I am going to Zlabodka to visit my beautiful daughter Lea and you will certainly ask if she is single and I will have to say that she is single and you will certainly ask to meet her for a Shiduch and the last thing I want in my life is my beautiful Lea to marry someone who does not have money even to by himself a watch!


There is no right way to do a wrong thing.


The teacher asks her class to give her a sentence about a public servant.

A small boy raises his hand right away, so the teacher calls on him.

“The fireman came down the ladder pregnant,” the boy says.

The teacher immediately took the lad aside to correct him.

“Do you know what pregnant means?” she asks.

“Sure,” replies the boy confidently. “It means ‘carrying a child.’ “


Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.


The story goes that four ministers had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd minister out, after the usual “3 to 1 majority rules” statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a *higher* authority.

“Oh, Lord!” he cried. “I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!” It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the minister finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. “A sign from God! See, I’m right, I knew it!” But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

So the minister prayed again: “Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, Lord, a bigger sign!” This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill.

“I told you I was right!” cried the minister, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.

The minister was getting ready to ask for a *very big* sign, but just as he said, “Oh God…,” the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, “HEEEEEEEE’S RIIIIIIIGHT!”

The minister put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, “Well?!”

“So,” shrugged one of the other ministers, “now it’s 3 to 2.”


Don’t judge those who try and fail, judge those who fail to try.


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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