Ray's musings and humor

Archive for November, 2017

Happy?

Ray’s Daily

November 30, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.

Dr. Seuss

be-happy

NOTE: For the last couple of days Ray’s Daily mail to our comcast readers has been rejected. So today I am sending it from one of my other addresses to see if it gets through, Ray

Yesterday was pretty good for me. My ophthalmologist raved about the results of my eye surgery and is not requiring me back for some time. I got a chance to bib a special friend bon voyage at her retirement party. Not only that I held my missteps to a minimum and for me that is a good thing.

I have found as I age and as my spouse needs my assistance more than in the past that I need to redefine my happiness. I do not need to dwell on what I find difficult to do, rather I need to concentrate on what I can do. I may be moving slower but I am still moving. I may not be as sharp as I once was but I am still capable of doing what needs to be done.

I know I don’t want to fall into the trap of focusing on what I might not like. I guess is would suggest that one of the secrets of life is to couple objectivity with optimism. I have excerpted a few thoughts from a New York Times article that make sense to me I hope they do to you as well.

Easy Steps Toward Happiness You Can Take Today

By TIM HERRERANOV. 27, 2017

Conquer your negative thinking

Humans have evolved to focus on the negative. If we overlearn a bad situation, we’re more inclined to avoid those situations in the future or react more quickly, writes Tara Parker-Pope.

Too, it’s probably mature to realize and accept that it’s unrealistic to think you’ll be happy all the time. Life is hard.

But, as we all know, that isn’t always helpful in a modern world. When something bad happens, we tend to overanalyze and have trouble getting our mind off it.

The trick to avoiding those spirals and rabbit holes of misery is to acknowledge and challenge our negative thoughts. Rather than try to bury them, we should own those thoughts and ask ourselves a few questions, like, “What is the evidence for this thought?” or “Am I basing this on facts or on feelings?” A little self-investigation can help us get over the thoughts that just won’t leave our heads otherwise.

Forgive yourself

This one is really simple: Go easy on yourself. If you’re compassionate and supportive of other people, why shouldn’t you give yourself the same luxury?

This can be a difficult concept for those of us who tend to beat ourselves up over perceived failures, so our guide has an exercise you can use to practice. Write yourself a letter of compassion just as you would to a neighbor or friend who had experienced a hardship. The concept is the same, only the recipient is you.

~~~

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

Guillaume Apollinaire

~~~

She said:

You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.

Chaos, panic & disorder – my work here is done.

Earth is full. Go home.

How do I set a laser printer to stun.

I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

~~~

A man never discloses his character so clearly as when he describes another’s.

~~~

A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt uneasy, not knowing about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials.

“Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing,” she said.

“So would I,” replied the technician. “It’s a floor-cleaning machine.”

~~~

Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter, since nobody listens.

~~~

A city slicker stopped his large, expensive car on a country road and looked about in confusion. He noticed a young farm hand leaning on a fence and called to him, “Hey, you know how far it is to Shrewsbury?”

The farm hand thought about it and said, “Don’t know.”

“Well then, do you know the best way to get there?”

Again, the farm hand thought a bit and said, “Don’t know.”

“Look, can you just tell me where the nearest gas station is so I can pick up a map?”

“‘Fraid I don’t know that either.”

Frustrated, the man in the car snapped, “You don’t know much do you?”

To which the farm hand replied, “I’m not lost.”

~~~

Life is cheap. It’s the accessories that kill you.

~~~

Harry had just reached his 175th birthday last week. Surrounded by reporters, he was asked, “Excuse me, sir, but how did you come to live to be 175?”

Harry answered, “It was easy.  I just never argue with anyone.”

The reporter shot back, “That’s crazy.  It had to be something else –diet, meditation, or *something*.  Just not arguing won’t keep you alive for 175 years!”

The old fella stared hard at the reporter for several seconds.

Then he shrugged.  “Hmmm.  Maybe you’re right.”

~~~

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

Helen Keller

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Advertisements

Fare well old friend

Ray’s Daily

November 29, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.

th4S139DZ4

Today I get to go to my ophthalmologist to see how much my eyesight has improved after my recent eye surgery. I hope he is as pleased with the result as I am.

Later I will be joining the staff at my former employer as they celebrate a dear former colleagues retirement. One of the best things I ever did in my career was to hire her to assist with implementing a major global public health project. It was through her efforts that we made the progress we did.

She was an excellent working partner and a valued friend. I retired some time ago but my friend stayed on filling various roles while helping the organization thrive. So, I wish you well Joan Wilson, I know Kiwanis International is grateful for all you have done and I am grateful for all you did for me.

I wonder sometimes if we miss seeing the contribution some folks have on the wellbeing of others, They don’t look for recognition they just do their good work, there secret, they care. Here is a story that reminds me of the many people who made a difference in my life.

A Special Teacher

Years ago a John Hopkin’s professor gave a group of graduate students this assignment: Go to the slums. Take 200 boys, between the ages of 12 and 16, and investigate their background and environment. Then predict their chances for the future. The students, after consulting social statistics, talking to the boys, and compiling much data, concluded that 90 percent of the boys would spend some time in jail.

Twenty-five years later another group of graduate students was given the job of testing the prediction. They went back to the same area. Some of the boys – by then men – were still there, a few had died, some had moved away, but they got in touch with 180 of the original 200. They found that only four of the group had ever been sent to jail.

Why was it that these men, who had lived in a breeding place of crime, had such a surprisingly good record? The researchers were continually told: “Well, there was a teacher…” They pressed further, and found that in 75 percent of the cases it was the same woman.

The researchers went to this teacher, now living in a home for retired teachers. How had she exerted this remarkable influence over that group of children? Could she give them any reason why these boys should have remembered her? “No,” she said, “no I really couldn’t.” And then, thinking back over the years, she said amusingly, more to herself than to her questioners: “I loved those boys…”

Author – Bits & Pieces

~~~

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble.

Rudyard Kipling

~~~

The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday.

In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left. So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church. That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister’s embarrassment.

The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, “Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches and for the spirit in which they were given!”

~~~

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
~~~

Old Granny Annie was known as a hard drinker but a steady and responsible one.  And so when the family were gathered at a family celebration, old Annie took a big glass of Southern Comfort, then asked for an eyedropper, everyone was curious.  They were even more curious when Annie took the eyedropper and put exactly three drops of water in the whiskey glass.

“Tell me, Annie one of the family asked, “why are you doing that?”
“Well, I’ll tell ya somethin’.  I can still drink more Southern Comfort than any of you lot and hold it better, too.  I’ve always been mighty proud of my ability to drink and hold my own!  But to tell ya the truth, everyone, I can’t hold my water like I used to!”

~~~

Know what I hate?  I hate rhetorical questions!

~~~

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a shotgun.  “It’s for my husband,” she tells the clerk.

“Did he tell you what gauge to get?” asked the clerk.

“Are you kidding?” she says. “He doesn’t even know that I’m going to shoot him!”

~~~

There is absolutely no excuse for a wife to have an inferiority complex.  All she has to do to avoid or cure it, is to be sick in bed for a day and leave her husband to manage the household and the kids.

~~~

Learn to splel, danmit!

~~~

Lisa was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her was starting to pile up. The guy in the car directly behind her was honking his horn continuously as Lisa continued to try getting the car to start up again.

Finally Lisa gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her. “I can’t seem to get my car started,” Lisa said, smiling. “Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I’ll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you.”

~~~

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

We need each other

Ray’s Daily

November 28, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

lets be friends

I had a full day yesterday that wore me out. This morning I am off to the doctor and then on to a physical therapy session. I hope you will understand why I am reverting to a reprint of a previous Daily.

Ray’s Daily first published on November 28, 2012

Because of some of my activities I often get a chance to talk with folks one on one. Many times, our relationship evolves to the point where they share their concerns and much too often I learn that they are lonesome. As the years go by many close friends have moved on, children move away, job change or retirement has broken the link they had with workplace friends and now their neighbors are mostly strangers. It is really hard when our existence is contained in isolated silos. We all need others with whom we can share confidences, who help us when needed and who share in our experiences.

It used to be that it was primarily the elders who felt the pain of separation but the disease now seems to be spreading to members of broken families, friendless children and others, many families never even eat together anymore. So my friends I think you and I should do all we can to offer our friendship to others whenever we can. But I must warn you that when you do you will often find that your new friendship is even a bigger benefit to yourself than it is to the other party.

Since most of the readers of the Daily are not close enough for us to bond I have copied some tips from eHow on how seniors can find new friends. Don’t tell anyone but you don’t have to wait until you are older, there is no better time to build friendships than now.

How to Make Friends as a Senior Citizen

1 Look for friends to shop with. Ask neighbors or former coworkers to attend concerts or plays with you or to join you for a meal.

2 Reach out to people in your community by offering to speak at community centers, volunteering at schools or giving your time to non-profit organizations. As a senior citizen, you have a wealth of knowledge to share, and these opportunities provide you the chance to develop friendships with those with whom you interact.

3 Make a list of the activities you enjoy and those new ones you would like to try. Research the availability of these activities in your town and set up a schedule to participate in as many of these activities as you can. Organized activities provide excellent opportunities to meet new friends.

4 Visit a gym or a community center that has workout facilities so you can get in shape and improve your health. Staying active alongside other seniors allows you to have fun while working out.

5 Join a book club. Inquire about them at your local library and then attend the meetings regularly. By sharing your views on books and authors, you will have the opportunity to meet new friends who love reading as much as you do.

6 Go to your neighborhood senior citizens center and research the activities and trips offered by the facility. Consider broadening your knowledge of the world by sitting in on college lectures. Other senior citizens are likely doing the same and you can establish friendships with them.

~~~

“While everybody else shakes my hand, you hold it.”

Nick Zeigler

~~~

More signs in our time:

Veterinarians Waiting Room:     Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

The Electric Company:           We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.

Beauty Shop:                    Dye now!

Garbage Truck:                  We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

Diner Window:                   Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

Bowling Alley:                  Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

Cafeteria:                      Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

Funeral Home:                   Drive carefully, we’ll wait.

~~~

Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.

Lewis Mumford

~~~

A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn’t they just throw out the pest.

“Oh I don’t care.” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”

~~~

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you’re asleep.

~~~

“An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?”

“Sure,” a teenage boy replied. “My father’s new car.”

~~~

When I’m good, I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better!

Mae West

~~~

My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie’s house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.

“But, Mom,” he said, brightening, “you don’t have to worry about buying another one. Charlie’s mother said it was irreplaceable.”

~~~

“The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with?

Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off. I’ve got the toe clippers right here.'”

Jerry Seinfeld

~~~

“Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can’t stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you’re down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end.”

Unknown

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Stay Cool

Ray’s Daily

November 27, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

When anger rises, think of the consequences.

Confucius

Cool

I recently read an article written by Mark Chernoff where he asked why most of us take things so personally that we end up paying a price. As I am sure you know anger seldom pays abd it sure does not our peace of mind. In truth we are only angry because we allow others to get to us and we really don’t have to let them do that,

Unfortunately our anger often only results burned bridges and broken friendships. One of the biproducts of staying calm when you are on the cusp of anger is the realization that you are strong enough to resist doing something you might regret later.

What works for me is answering the question, is getting upset really worth it? The answer invariably is, no it isn’t. Chernoff offered the following tips to help us manage our response to negative situations.

1.Calmness is a superpower.  The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace.

2.Even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of them.

3.You may not be able control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

4.There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you detach from other people’s beliefs and behaviors.  The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours.  (Angel and I discuss this further in the “Self-Love” chapter of our book.)

5.Oftentimes people do things and say things because they’ve been conditioned to, not because they consciously want to.

6.You can’t control how people receive your energy.  Whatever someone interprets, or projects onto you, is at least partially an issue or problem that they themselves are dealing with.

7.Take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally.  Weigh what you hear from others against what you know in your heart to be true.

8.If you’re willing to view the behavior of other people as indicative of their relationship with themselves, then you will inevitably take things less personally.

9.If you truly wish to improve your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth, stop allowing other people to be responsible for them.  Stop allowing other people to dominate your emotions.  (Angel and I build powerful self-confidence rituals with our students in the “Love and Relationships” module of Getting Back to Happy.)

10.All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as a baby.  And that’s the tragedy of living.  So when people are rude, be kind, be mindful, be your best.  Give those around you the “break” that you hope the world will give you on your own “bad day” and you will never, ever regret it.

~~~

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 1,343 –

1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed;

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently;

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs;

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs;

53 to flame the spell checkers;

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames;

6 to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb”

156 to write to the list administrator about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list;

109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to litebulblist;

203 to demand that cross posting to grammar-l, spelling-l and illuminati-l about changing light bulbs be stopped;

111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this mail list;

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty;

27 to post URL’s where one can see examples of different light bulbs;

14 to post that the URL’s were posted incorrectly and the post the corrected URL’s;

3 to post about links they found from the URL’s that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list;

33 to link all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers and then add “Me too”;

12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy;

19 to quote the “Me too’s” to say “Me three”;

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ;

44 to ask what is “FAQ”;

4 to say “didn’t we go through this already a short time ago on Usenet?”

143 to ask “what’s Usenet?”

~~~

“Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.”

James Matthew Barrie

~~~

At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which sort of taxation they found fairest. There was a pause, and then a white haired man in the back raised his hand. “The poll tax,” he said.

“But the poll tax was repealed,” replied the commissioner.

“Ay-ah,” declared the man, “that’s what I like best about it.”

~~~

“In the end, the size of a person’s accomplishment can best be measured by the size of their heart.”

~~~

My friend Ida was slowly recovering from a heart attack. “Doctor,” she pleaded with her cardiologist, “you must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to attend my first grandchild’s bar mitzvah.”

“We’ll try,” he replied compassionately.

In due course Ida gratefully attended the festive rite of passage.

Some time later she again spoke to her doctor. “My granddaughter is to be married in 18 months. Please help me to be able to attend her wedding.”

“We’ll do our best,” he replied.

And my friend happily attended her granddaughter’s wedding.

Ten years passed. Ida visited her cardiologist regularly and followed his instructions religiously. One morning she called him. “Doctor,” she began, “I’m feeling fine, but I have another request to ask of you: Remember how you saw me through to my grandson’s bar mitzvah?”

“Yes.”

“And later how you helped me attend my granddaughter’s wedding?”

“Yes.”

“Well, as you know I’ve just celebrated my 80th birthday. And I just bought myself a new mattress.”

“Yes?”

“It has a 20-year guarantee…”

~~~

Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.

Joel Osteen

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Take time for gratitude

Ray’s Daily

November 22, 2017

www.rays-daily.com

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

Thornton Wilder

Be-Thankful-Everyday

Tomorrow is a special day for us in my country. It is our national thanksgiving holiday. My computer and I will take the next four days off in order to recover from the traditional family feast and to focus on all we have to be thankful for in life.

Many will use the days ahead to feast, socialize, watch sports and shop for bargains. I hope they will also take some time to appreciate the good in their lives. This is a time to set woes aside and focus on all reasons we have to be grateful for all we have been given. Most of the folks in the world struggle to survive, we need to recognize just how fortunate we are.

Here is a poem that challenges us to make our Thanksgiving Day more than just a day to feast and socialize,

The Great Thanksgiving grace

The great day of Thanks Giving is here,

And, so our hearts are bubbling with joy,

The eyes are blinking for the beauty to see,

The stomach is demanding for the greatest feast,

Now that it’s here, there are lot of preparations to do,

Now that the great graceful day `is here,

We have so much to rejoice and be grateful for,

Now that it’s here, we are all ready to focus on the good,

To avoid the bad, now that it’s here,

On this Thanks Giving day we need to vow,

To look more for love and friendship,

To avoid more of the materialistic things in life,

If the small things in life vanish today,

We will see the importance of it every day,

It’s only the relations that grow every day,

And, that is the thing that keeps us alive every day,

Now that, the Thanks Giving Day is here,

Thank everyone in your life for every little thing,

~~~

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.

Meister Eckhart

~~~

A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point – he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes, knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn’t home.

“Well,” the woman said, “could I please wait for her?”

The man directed her to the living room and left her there for more than three hours.

After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked, “May I know where your wife is?”

“She went to the cemetery,” he replied.

“And when is she coming back?”

“I don’t really know,” he said. “She’s been there eleven years now.”

~~~

“My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day he took me aside and left me there.”

Ron Richards

~~~

What the dictionary does not tell you definitions:

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate strained carrots.

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing or sucking on it.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words

~~~

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands….

~~~

“Don’t spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.”

Billiam Coronel

~~~

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”

The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

“Yes?” replied the teacher…

“Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

~~~

Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.

Theodore Roosevelt

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Don’t Stop

Ray’s Daily

November 21, 2017

Don’t watch the clock; do what it does.  Keep going.

Sam Levenson

keep-going

I wonder sometimes if the reason Betty Davis said “growing old is not for sissies” is because we spend so much time focused on our aches and pains. It is hard some times to sit with a group pf seniors who spend a lot of time discussing, sometimes with pride, their infirmities and the contents of their medicine chest. I know I too have been guilty of spending time talking about my geriatric medical experiences.

The changes that come with aging are something we all go through and rather than agonizing about the journey we should celebrate that we are still on it. I know if I spend more thought on what I have and can do, my aches and pains seem to subside. We all have a lot to be grateful for and we are better off if we work our way through our challenges.

Marc Chernoff just published a piece offering some suggestions on how we can make our lives more pleasant even when the going gets tough. Here in part is what he wrote.

10 Things to Remember When the Going Gets Tough

As we journey through our personal and professional lives, there will inevitably be periods of incredible frustration and despair.  During those tough times, it will sometimes appear to us that we’ve lost everything, and that nothing and nobody could possibly motivate us to move onward in the direction of our dreams. When the going gets tough—when we’re feeling utterly down and discouraged—we need to remember…

1.To trust the journey, even when we do not understand it.

2.To accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in the road ahead.

3.To start exactly where we are, use what we have, and do what we can, one step at a time.

4.To look for the blessings hidden in every struggle we face, and be willing to open our hearts and minds to them.

5.To recognize our backpack of support—our external sources of hope and motivation—before a random guru (or someone with far more crooked intentions) has to steal it from us so that we can finally see what we have always taken for granted.

6.To be present and tap into our own hearts and minds—our internal sources of hope and motivation—which have the power to push us back up on our feet and guide us down the road to our backpack of support, even when it appears to be lost forever

7.To laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and appreciate the lessons found at each twist and turn.

8.To not compare our progress with that of others, and accept that we all need our own time to travel our own distance.

9.To see how many of the things we never wanted or expected, ultimately turn out to be what we need.

10.To be OK with not ending up exactly where we intended to go, while opening ourselves up to the possibility of eventually arriving precisely in the right place at the right time.

~~~

I’ve seen enough things to know that if you just keep on going,  if you turn the corner, the sun will be shining.

Al Sharpton

~~~

In a software design meeting, we were using typical technical Jargon to discuss a data exchange interface with a vendor.  One co-worker said the programming we had ordered was delayed because the vendor was suffering from a “severe nonlinear waterfowl issue.”  Curious, the team leader raised his eyebrows and asked, “What exactly is that?” The programmer replied, “They don’t have all their ducks in a row.”

~~~

The coach’s wife yells to her husband, “It’s Sports Illustrated on the phone.”

The coach falls all over himself racing to the phone and says, “Hello”?

Then he hears, “For just 75 cents an issue….”

~~~

TALLULAH BANKHEAD QUOTES (1903 – 1968)

“I’ll come and make love to you at five o’clock. If I’m late, start without me.”

“I’m as pure as the driven slush.”

“It’s the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.”

“If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.”

~~~

“It takes one to know one — and vice versa!”

~~~

My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor held up an apple and a candy bar. “What are the attributes of this apple,” she asked, “and how do they relate to our diet?”

“Low in calories” and “lots of fiber” were among the answers.

She then detailed what was wrong with eating candy, and concluded, “Apples are not only more healthful but also less expensive. Do you know I paid 75¢ for this candy bar?” We stared as she held aloft the forbidden treat.

From the back of the room a small voice spoke up: “I’ll give you a dollar for it.”

~~~

“The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!”

~~~

The tiresome jury selection process continued, each side hotly contesting and dismissing potential jurors. Don O’Brian was called for his question session.

“Married or single?”

“Married for twenty years, Your Honor.”

“Formed or expressed an opinion?”

“Not in twenty years, Your Honor.”

~~~

“Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places!”

~~~

The husband was adjusting his tie in front of the mirror tonight before this awards dinner and he asked his wife, “Honey, how many great men do you think there are in the world today?”

“One less than you think,” his wife replied.

~~~

“What’s done is done. What’s gone is gone. One of life’s lessons is always moving on. It’s okay to look back to see how far you’ve come but keep moving forward.”

Roy T. Bennett

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Great week ahead

Ray’s Daily

November 20, 2017

www.rays-daily.cm

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”

Dalai Lama

Choos Happiness

Here we go another week, this one is going to be special for those who live in my country. This coming Thursday is when we will celebrate our annual Thanksgiving holiday. It is a time when most of us will be able to spend time with our families and many of us will take some time to stop and appreciate all we have been given. The day after our time of thanks will be a day when many of us will lose all our inhibitions as we fight for bargains during the annual post-Thanksgiving super sales. Me? I was in the Korean conflict many years ago and have avoided battles ever since so I will be staying home.

One of the things I am thankful for is how well my life continues to be. Sure, I like you have had my pitfalls and stumbles but they are only minor interruptions. I have had a few grave medical events but my fantastic medical teams have done their miraculous work and always brought me back. I expect things to work out and they do, I have found that enjoying life is as much how you see it as anything else. Here is a story written by Lee Ryan Miller that is a good reminder that to a large extent we are who we decide to be.

Who You Are Speaks Louder To Me Than Anything You Can Say

At the beginning of my 8:00 a.m. class one Monday at UNLV, I cheerfully asked my students how their weekend had been. One young man said that his weekend had not been very good. He’d had his wisdom teeth extracted. The young man then proceeded to ask me why I always seemed to be so cheerful.

 His question reminded me of something I’d read somewhere before: “Every morning when you get up, you have a choice about how you want to approach life that day,” I said to the young man. “I choose to be cheerful.” “Let me give you an example,” I continued. The other sixty students in the class ceased their chatter and began to listen to our conversation.

 “In addition to teaching here at UNLV, I also teach out at the community college in Henderson, about seventeen miles down the freeway from where I live. One day, a few weeks ago, I drove those seventeen miles to Henderson. I exited the freeway and turned onto College Drive. I only had to drive another quarter-mile down the road to the college. But just then my car died. I tried to start it again, but the engine wouldn’t turn over. So I put my flashers on, grabbed my books, and marched down the road to the college.”

“As soon as I got there I called AAA and asked them to send a tow truck. The secretary in the Provost’s office asked me what had happened. This is my lucky day,” I replied, smiling.

 “Your car breaks down and today is your lucky day?” She was puzzled. “What do you mean?”

 “I live seventeen miles from here.” I replied. “My car could have broken down anywhere along the freeway. It didn’t. Instead, it broke down in the perfect place: off the freeway, within walking distance of here. I’m still able to teach my class, and I’ve been able to arrange for the tow truck to meet me after class. If my car was meant to break down today, it couldn’t have been arranged in a more convenient fashion.”

 The secretary’s eyes opened wide, and then she smiled. I smiled back and headed for class. So ended my story to the students in my economics class at UNLV.

I scanned the sixty faces in the lecture hall. Despite the early hour, no one seemed to be asleep. Somehow, my story had touched them. Or maybe it wasn’t the story at all. In fact, it had all started with a student’s observation that I was cheerful.

A wise man once said, “Who you are speaks louder to me than anything you can say.” I suppose it must be so.

~~~

Each day is a new canvas to paint upon. Make sure your picture is full of life and happiness, and at the end of the day you don’t look at it and wish you had painted something different.

Author Unknown

~~~

A woman was determined to get her newly retired husband some attractive leisure clothes. She went into a men’s clothing store and told the salesgirl, “I’m looking for something youthful, something wild in a men’s pair of slacks.”

“Oh,” sighed the salesgirl. “Aren’t we all?”

~~~

”As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet.  Our first move was to acess the popular “Ask Jeeves” site, and we told her it could answer any question she had.

Nancy’s mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, “It’s true, Mom. Think of something to ask it.”

As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy’s mother thought a minute, then responded, “How is Aunt Helen feeling?”

~~~

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

Elizabeth Foley

~~~

The strangest mystery of all is a woman’s bladder. X-rays prove that the female bladder is proportional to the woman’s size, yet they always have to pee.

Driving in a car seems to irritate the problem. It also irritates the guy she’s driving with.

The big question is: How is it that women pee every 10 to 15 minutes; yet they are always retaining water?

~~~

There is always a certain peace in being what one is, in being that completely.

Ugo Betti

~~~

He said: About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight . I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car.

I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 30 MPH for it to start. She said fine, hoped into her car and drove off.

I sat there fuming wondering what can she be doing. A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rearview mirror coming at me at about 40 MPH, I realized that I should have been A LOT clearer with my directions.

~~~

“Happiness is not a goal… it’s a by-product of a life well lived.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Tag Cloud