Ray's musings and humor

Archive for August, 2011

Pity the faultless

Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults, but having faults different from your own.

Shania Twain

 

Before I forget, my wife is taken me out for rest and relaxation tomorrow morning so I will be shutting down the office until Thursday so no Daily. I’ll see you then.

Ray

 

I don’t know about you but I am a little tired of all the negativism that seems to abound these days. I run into more and more people who are quick to blame everyone else but themselves for all of today’s problems. I use to let excessive criticism of my activities get me down, but that was a long time ago. Unfortunately though many people lose confidence and even suffer from what sometimes is almost cruel derision from others. In todays polarized society it seems that more and more folks think it is cute to heap ridicule and scorn on others. For some, facts and accuracy are not as important as their belief that points are scored by the amount of disdain they can heap on others.

Trust me; many people are hurt deeply even when they know that they are the victims of false or half-truths spread by others. Regrettably the rest of us often stand mute for fear of retaliation by the screamers. Me, I long for the civility of the past, the days when we tried to criticize constructively. I know from growing up in Chicago that it was not a bed of roses, but the impolite were the thugs and bullies, not neighbors and fellow workers. Maybe I just see more of it these days because I am out and about. Possibly fear has driven some otherwise good people over into thoughtless behavior while others just stand quietly by and let the tirades flow.

Fortunately I have learned to do the best I can, listening to the critics and accepting what is constructive while ignoring animosity and moving on. Our old friend Ralph Marston had this to say about disapproval, I think he is right on target

 

Accepting disapproval

If you give in to the disapproval of others, you’ll simply encourage them to disapprove even more. If you fight against their disapproval, that will also cause their disapproval to grow stronger. Your most effective response is to gently accept the disapproval, then let it go and move forward. That strategy will dilute and dispense with the resistance you encounter faster than anything else.

Stop needing the approval of others, and you’ll receive more approval and support than ever. Live each moment from your own inspiration, not from your desire to look good in the eyes of others. You can be exceptionally kind, loving, giving and respectful without being a slave to the opinions of others. Accept that other people will disapprove of some things you do, and you’ll free yourself to do truly magnificent things.

Your great value does not derive from the approval of others. You are entirely worthy and able to give much to life, regardless of what anyone else may think. Graciously and enthusiastically accept that others will disapprove, no matter what you do. And delight in the freedom of doing whatever you know is right for you.

~~~

“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.”

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat. “The secret,” she said, “is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up.”

The boy looked at her quizzically… “Why does it have to be a secret?”

~~~

A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves.

~~~

Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever handle the middle of the night feeding?”

“No. I always did that.”

“That must have been before you had women’s liberation.”

“No, it was before we had baby bottles.”

~~~

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

Germaine Greer

~~~

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.

“I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced.  “Will the laziest man please put his hand up?”

Nine hands went up.

“Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man.

“Too much trouble,” came the reply.

~~~

“To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you’re overdoing it.”

Josh Jenkins

~~~

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn’t hear the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”

“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I’m sorry, Your Honor, I thought he was talking to you.”

~~~

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

~~~

An older lady is making her first visit to her new doctor’s office. Before seeing the doctor she is required to fill-out forms. A nurse in the office offers to help her do this. The nurse starts by asking, “How old are you, Mrs. Silver?”

“None of your business,” she responds. The nurse then says, “But the doctor must know your age for his records.”

Mrs. Silver replies, “Okay. Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?”

“Yes.” answers the nurse.

“All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?”

The nurse says, “Zero.”

Mrs. Silver responds, “Right! And that’s exactly the chance of me telling you my age.”

~~~

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Theodore Roosevelt

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Good job!

You can’t run away from trouble.  There ain’t no place that far.

Uncle Remus

 

Recently we have seen our friends in the Eastern part of the United States go through some really tough times. Some have suffered the aftermath of an earthquake while millions of others have just survived a damaging hurricane. Unfortunately I heard some of those unaffected complain that the emergency preparedness actions triggered by the hurricane forecasts were way more than needed and never should have taken place. To me that is like saying my life insurance was a waste of money, I didn’t die. Almost up until the hurricane started north along the eastern seaboard it looked like the hurricane might very well hit the US as a category three storm, which would have caused catastrophic damage and undoubtedly even greater loss of life.

I am grateful that we prepared for what may very well have happened and I am even more grateful that it was not as bad as it might have been. I have real problems with people who depend on hindsight in order to pontificate and criticize after the fact. I am most proud of the people who responded so well to the plans that were implemented. It appears we have learned a lot from previous disasters, so good for us. I was especially impressed with the coordination of effort by all involved in the disaster management effort.

I hope I never need it but here are some disaster coping tools that I copied from one of the Coaching Team Newsletters for my use when necessary.

 

Ten Ways to Handle Adversity

We’ve all experienced difficult times in our work or home lives, often through events and circumstances outside our control. But like great trees, humans grow stronger when exposed to powerful winds. Here are 10 suggestions for dealing with the hard times when they happen.

1. Take responsibility. – Assume an “I can do something” attitude rather than pointing fingers. If nothing else, you can control your own response to the situation.

2. Limit the focus. – Don’t let the problem become all encompassing. When you compartmentalize the difficulty, you can focus on a workable solution.

3. Be optimistic. – The ultimate belief in life as positive, even with hard-times and troubles, will result in positive behaviors and positive actions.

4. Think creatively. – Approach the problem from new and different directions. Trust your creativity.

5. Have courage. – Having courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. It means that you don’t let the fear get in the way of doing what you need to do.

6. Take action. – Handling the day-to-day details can keep you from getting bogged down in the mud of adversity. Determine what can be done, and do it.

7. Take the long-range view. – Remember that “this too shall pass.” Recount other times when you have overcome challenges.

8. Maintain a sense of humor. – Even in the darkest times, laughter can help ease the pain.

9. Get support. – No need to do it alone. Ask for help.

10. Don’t quit. – Persistence may be the greatest of human qualities that help us overcome adversity. Consider how water smoothes stones and wind sculpts cliffsides.

~~~

I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.

Jewish Proverb

~~~

A friend said: Our five-year-old son went to a church conference with my wife and me. He got restless, so my wife handed him a pad and pencil and suggested he mark down every time the speaker said the word “and.” After a while, he grew bored, and I asked,

“Would you like to listen for a different word?”

“Yes,” he whispered.  “I’d like to listen for ‘Amen’.”

~~~

My neighbor has a circular driveway. He can’t get out.

Steven Wright

~~~

A woman’s husband asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She thought for a moment and said, “This year I just want cold, hard cash for a change.”

The following day her husband fulfilled her request. He put $40 in nickels, dimes and quarters into a quart jar, then filled it with water and placed it in the freezer.

On her birthday he handed his wife a solidly frozen bottle of change.

~~~

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

Mark Twain

~~~

Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside.

One deacon ducked down and said, “I hope the reverend didn’t see us or recognise my pick-up.”

The other replied indifferently, “What difference does it make. God knows we’re in here… and he’s the only one who counts.”

The first deacon countered, “But God won’t tell my wife.”

~~~

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her…or something like that.

~~~

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.

Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.

The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.

The old-timer says, “Look at me. I’m old and worn out. You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a  boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best  restaurants of France.”

The new man asked, “What happened?”

“One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!”

~~~

If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.

~~~

Out to lunch one day, a couple immigrants were having a fine time until Hymie began to gag.

“I—I think I svallowed a bone,” Hymie gasped.

“Hymie,” said Morris, “are you choking?”

“No, demmit, I’m serious!”

~~~

Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall.

Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Pardon me, it is time for my nap

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Mohandas K. Gandhi

It has been great to get out this past week, I have been full of reasonable pep up to almost 10 AM and then I hear the siren song of my bed calling me home to nap. Unfortunately this has resulted in my missing one afternoon meeting as I never woke up to attend on Wednesday and then yesterday I had to cancel my participation in an important board meeting due to a combination of fatigue and temporary brain power loss. I have more tests and evaluations scheduled over the next three weeks I am depending on the process getting me back to where I was not that long ago. If that doesn’t work I am going to have to try to convince my wife to quit putting sleeping potion into my food.

One thing I have found over the last month or so is just how effective my relaxation techniques really are. I have even become so proficient in my ability to instantly relax (snooze), I can now sit, recline or lay down knowing that my relaxation skills will almost immediately take me to dreamland. I have been surprised to find how many of you hang out there; but don’t worry I promise I will never tell anyone about how you have behaved while there.

Of course my goal now is to relax less, exercise more and fulfill my obligations. For those of you who are not as prone to instant relaxation as I am I thought you might be interested in these helpful tips. I don’t know who wrote them but they sound good to me.

  • Take a Warm Bath − Soaking in a tub full of warm water can work wonders when you’re feeling stressed. The warm water relaxes you physically, loosening tight, stiff muscles. And, as a result, you relax mentally as well.
  • Read a Good Book − One of the best ways to deal with a stressful situation, especially if the stress is caused by something you have no control over, is to not think about it. And one of the easiest ways to get your mind off things that are bothering you is to read a good book.
  • Listen to Some Music − It’s a proven fact that soothing music can be relaxing. The type of music you choose is entirely up to you. Buy a CD or cassette featuring soft, modern ballads, gentle classics, smooth jazz, or New Age music. When you feel stressed, pop the music into the player and let the music carry you away.
  • Take a Deep Breath Something as simple as taking a couple of deep breaths can work wonders. So, the next time you feel stressed, take a few slow, deep breaths. And, if you can, add a full body stretch. Stretching and yawning are also relaxing.
  • Try Visualization − The next time you are feeling stressed, take a moment to close your eyes and imagine that you are somewhere more relaxing, like on a beach. Imagine that you can feel the cool breeze against your skin, and hear the ocean waves.
  • Spend Time Outdoors − Sunlight and fresh air have remarkable abilities to heal our spirit. Often something just as simple as taking a short walk around the block can help reset our priorities.

~~~

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.

Doug Larson

~~~

A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed, “This is Mr. Magillicutty. I need you to bury my wife.”

“Mr. Magillicutty? Sidney Magillicutty?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Didn’t I bury your wife 10 years ago?” the undertaker asked.

“I got married again,” the man sobbed.

“Oh,” replied the undertaker. “Congratulations.”

~~~

A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. I reckon, he said, with a twinkle in his eye, it because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried.

Dorothea Kent

~~~

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you, Grandma. Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.”

The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that, dear?” she asked.

The little boy replied, “I heard Daddy tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again!”

~~~

“It is better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers.”

James Thurber

~~~

An elderly man was driving down the freeway, and the car phone rings. Answering, he found it was his son’s voice urgently warning, “I  just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on I-285.  Please! Be careful!”

“Hey!” said the senior citizen, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”

~~~

I couldn’t remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that M&Ms really do melt in your hand…

Peter Oakley

~~~

The school of agriculture’s dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student, “Why have you chosen this career?” he asked.

“I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father,” the student replied.

“Your father made a million dollars in farming?” echoed the dean much impressed.

“No,” replied the applicant. “But he always dreamed of it.”

~~~

“Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.”

Oscar Wilde

~~~

A boy, who was a witness in court, was asked by a lawyer: “Did anyone tell you what to say in court?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I thought so! Who was it?”

“My father, sir.”

“And what did he tell you?”

“He said the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up, but if I stuck to the truth, I would be all right.”

~~~

“Statistics Means Never Having to Say you’re Certain”

~~~

Barbara said, I returned to my parents’ home to attend a funeral. At the funeral my mother led me to a man who looked vaguely familiar.  “Barbara, remember Rabbi Green?” she asked as she left me in his company.

I frantically tried to place him, and suddenly it came to me. He must be the kind man who, five years earlier, had officiated at my grandmother’s funeral. “It’s good to see you again, Rabbi,” I said. “Though I wish it weren’t always under such tragic circumstances.  “The rabbi looked perplexed but uttered some words of consolation before he was called away. A few minutes later, I rejoined my mother.

“Imagine,” she whispered, “after all this time, to run into the rabbi who performed your wedding!”

~~~

When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Eternal Youth

Age is an issue of mind over matter.  If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Mark Twain

I mentioned yesterday that I had the good fortune to see Tony Bennett in concert the other day and to say the least I was amazed by the show. His daughter, also a singer was the opening act and did a couple of duets with her dad. They were accompanied by a fantastic quartet, a pianist, a guitarist, a Bass player and a drummer; they were some of the finest instrumentalists I have ever heard. While we were in a large, world class concert hall they conveyed the feeling that we were part of an intimate lounge show.

What was amazing was Bennett himself, he is 85 years old and yet is still a world class performer. He still has the capacity to make the high notes and did an unbelievable job while performing many of the great songs from the past. The combination of his stage presence, his personality and his still wonderful singing ability made it one of the most memorable performances I have ever experienced. He also shared a number of memories of his earlier years and the many close friends he had in the business. There was a standing ovation that only slowed after about seven curtain calls.

I don’t know if he has sipped from the fountain of youth but I do know that he proved that there are many good years still out there if you choose to keep on living life to the fullest. Maybe that is one of the reasons that I seem to be getting back on track.

 

I recently found some tips on staying youthful that you might find interesting. Here they are:

As you age, there will be periods of both joy and stress. It’s important to build your resilience and find healthy ways to cope with challenges. This ability will help you make the most of the good times and keep your perspective when times are tough.

  • Focus on the things you’re grateful for. The longer you live, the more you lose. But as you lose people and things, life becomes even more precious. When you stop taking things for granted, you appreciate and enjoy what you have even more.
  • Acknowledge and express your feelings. You may have a hard time showing strong emotions, perhaps feeling that such a display is inappropriate and weak. But burying your feelings can lead to anger, resentment, and depression. Don’t deny what you’re going through. Find healthy ways to process your feelings, perhaps by talking with a close friend or writing in a journal.
  • Accept the things you can’t change. Many things in life are beyond our control. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems. Face your limitations with dignity and a healthy dose of humor.
  • Look for the silver lining. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.
  • Take daily action to deal with life’s challenges. When challenges seem too big to handle, sweeping them under the carpet often appears easier. But ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away; it allows both the problem and your anxiety to build. Instead, take things one small step at a time. Even a small step can go a long way to boosting your confidence and reminding you that you are not powerless.

~~~

Father Time is not always a hard parent, and, though he tarries for none of his children, often lays his hand lightly upon those who have used him well; making them old men and women inexorably enough, but leaving their hearts and spirits young and in full vigour.  With such people the grey head is but the impression of the old fellow’s hand in giving them his blessing, and every wrinkle but a notch in the quiet calendar of a well-spent life.

Charles Dickens

~~~

Sam Cohen, father of 3 and faithful husband for over 40 years, unexpectedly drops dead one day. His lawyer informs his widow that Stu Schwartz, Sam’s best friend since childhood, is to be executor of the will. The day comes to divide Sam’s earthly possessions, over a million dollars’ worth. In front of Sam’s family, Stu reads the will:

“Stu, if you’re reading this, then I must be dead. You’ve were such a good friend for so long, how can I ignore you in this will? On the other hand, there are my beloved Sophie and my children to be looked after. Stu, I know you can make sure my family is taken care of properly. So Stu, give what you want to her and take the rest for yourself.” Stu then looks at the survivors and tells them that, in accordance with Sam’s instructions, Stu will give fifty thousand dollars to Sam’s widow. The rest he is retaining for himself.

The family is beside itself. “This is impossible! Forty years of marriage and then *this*?!  It can’t be!” So the family sues. Their day in court arrives, and after testimony from both sides, the judge gives his

verdict: “To Stuart Schwartz, I award fifty thousand dollars of the contested money. The remainder shall go to Sophie Cohen, widow of the deceased.”

Needless to say, the family is elated, but Stu is dumbfound. “Your honor, how can you do this? The will made Sam’s wishes quite clear: ‘Give what you want to her and take the rest for yourself!’  I wanted the lion’s share! What gives?”

The judge answered back, “Mr. Schwartz, Sam Cohen knew you his whole life. He wanted to give you something in gratitude. He also wanted to see his family taken care of. So he drew up his will accordingly. But you misread his instructions. You see, Sam knew just what kind of a person you are, so with his family’s interest in mind, he didn’t say, “Give what you want to her and keep the rest for yourself.’  No. What Sam said was, “Give what YOU want to HER; and keep the rest for yourself.”

~~~

Q: What do you instantly know when you see a well-dressed husband?

A: His wife is good at choosing his clothes.

~~~

Stan was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Stan answered.

“I’d like to talk to your mother or father,” she said.

“Sorry, but they ain’t here.”

“Stan!” she said, “what is it with your grammar?”

“Beats me,” he replied, “but dad sure was mad that they had t’go bail her out again!”

~~~

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car or his wife is new.

~~~

Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?

You’re going out?

Yes.

With whom?

With a friend.

I don’t know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.

I didn’t leave him. He left me!

You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybody and nobody.

I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?

I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.

There are lots of things that you did and I don’t.

What are you hinting at?

Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.

You’re going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?

My EX husband. I don’t think he would be bothered.  From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!

So you’re going to sleep over at this loser’s place?

He’s not a loser.

A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.

I don’t want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?

Poor children with such a mother.

Such as what?

With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.

ENOUGH !!

Don’t scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too!

Now you’re worried about the loser?

Ah, so you see he’s a loser. I spotted him immediately.

Goodbye, mother.

Wait! Don’t hang up! When are you bringing them over?

I’m not bringing them over! I’m not going out!

If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?

~~~

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

Sophia Loren

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Oh happy day!

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.

Martin Luther

 

Sometimes it takes a little work to stay on the bright side. So far it looks like it might cost me almost $2000 not to cruise next month. Also to date it has cost me hundreds of dollars to find out what is not wrong with my health. And recently our life savings have shrunk a bunch as the stock market moves through the current turmoil, but that at least will keep me from purchasing too many additional cruises or trips for a while so I won’t have to pay not to do what I never bought in the first place.

But all is not lost, as you have heard me say in the past you can’t have mountains without valleys. While I still have a way to go I feel so much better than I did a week or so ago when I was in the valley and seemed to be digging a deeper hole. I’ll tell you this I am loving sticking my head out now and them these days and enjoying what I see. In fact last night I had the good fortune to listen to Tony Bennett sing at our new performing arts center.

I have again found that adversity rewards us by providing us greater appreciation for what we often overlook. In my experience it is always helpful to know and believe that tomorrow is another day and holds the promise that things may very well be better.

I enjoy the wonderful words of wisdom found in the following inspirational poem Promises to Yourself, first published by Christian D. Larson in 1912. Mr. Larson was a writer and a speaker who believed that with a positive attitude people can achieve more than they can imagine. In 1992, Optimist International adopted this creed it is frequently referenced as the Optimist Creed. I find that what he says is a great platform to follow even on the darkest days.

 

Promises to Yourself

Promise yourself….

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind;

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet;

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them;

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true;

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best;

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own;

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future;

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile;

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others;

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble;

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds;

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

~~~

The essence of optimism is that it takes no account of the present, but it is a source of inspiration, of vitality and hope where others have resigned; it enables a man to hold his head high, to claim the future for himself and not to abandon it to his enemy.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

~~~

Sadie bumps into her friend Rachel at the mall.

“You’re looking very tired today, Rachel. Did you have a late night?”

“Yes,” replies Rachel, “but it was all very strange. While doing some gardening yesterday, I found a lamp, so I rubbed it and out popped a genie. He gave me a choice of two wishes.”

“Wow, fantastic,” says Sadie, “so what were the choices he gave you, Rachel?”

“He said he could either give me an excellent, sharp, 100% memory or else he could make my Harry the best lover in the world.”

“So tell me already, Rachel, what did you choose?”

“I can’t remember,” replies Rachel.

~~~

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

Robert Frost

~~~

I don’t remember who sent this to me but I want to go with them. – Ray

To Whom it May Concern:

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year old again.

I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to play dodge ball at recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer’s day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. Somewhere in our youth, we matured and learned too much. There are nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, and abused children. Lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain, and death. A world where companies poison our water and our soil, and children kill.

What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn’t grasp the concept of death? When the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to return to the days when children played hide-n-seek outside instead of being glued to a television, when video games were as harmless as Pac-Man…instead of spine-ripping, blood-splattering mind numbers like Mortal Combat, and TV still had some shows on that weren’t about sex, killing, and lies.

I remember being naive and thinking everyone was happy because I was. Afternoons were spent climbing trees and fences and riding my bike. I never worried about time, bills, or where I was going to find the money to fix my car. I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I’ll do if this doesn’t work out. I want to live simple again.

I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So…. here’s my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you’ll have to catch me first, ’cause. . .     “Tag! You’re it.”

~~~

Let us go singing as far as we go; the road will be less tedious.

Virgil

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I am glad I know you!

“To be a friend a man should go more than halfway with his fellow men; he should greet others first and not wait to be greeted.”

Wilferd A. Peterson

During my recent period of medical challenges I realized the therapeutic value of many things we often take for granted. I again savored the medicinal properties of chicken soup, more than normal bed rest, old movies, frivolous reading and the like. But probably the most effective supplemental medicine has been the messages I received from friends.

I again appreciated just how important maintaining a friendship savings account can be. Friends truly enrich our lives, sure they provide warmth and good council but in my case they provide much more. Years ago when I was in the computer industry I loved visiting my hundreds of customers at their workplace for it gave me the opportunity to learn; I saw candy being made, autos being built, books being bound, multi-million dollar financial transactions being made and much more. I recently realized just how the people I meet offer me similar opportunities. I am sincerely interested in everyone I meet, what they like, what they have done, their hobbies, everything. Often, in just a short period of time we become more than just mere acquaintances and too a large extent I think it is because I am more interested in them than I am in promoting myself.

I found the story below that I think offers us the key to building true friendships, I like it well enough that I want to share it with you.

 

An Agreeable Friend

Author: William Lyon Phelps

When I was eight years old and was spending a weekend visiting my Aunt Libby at her home, a middle aged man called one evening and after a polite skirmish with my aunt, he devoted his attention to me.

At that time, I happened to be excited about boats; the visitor discussed the subject in a way that seemed to me particularly interesting.

After he left, I spoke of him with enthusiasm. “What a man! And how tremendously interested in boats!” My aunt informed me he was a New York businessman and that he cared nothing whatever about boats, took not the slightest interest in the subject.

“But why then did he talk all the time about boats?” “Because he is a gentleman. He saw you were interested in boats, and he talked about the things he knew would interest and please you. He made himself agreeable”. I never forgot my aunt’s remark.

 

I truly believe that when we care enough to take a real interest in the people we meet our lives are enhanced by the true friendships that often result.

~~~

“My coat and I live comfortably together. It has assumed all my wrinkles, does not hurt me anywhere, has moulded itself on my deformities , and is complacent to all my movements , and I only feel its presence because it keeps me warm. Old coats and old friends are the same thing.”

Victor Hugo

~~~

Robert calls home to his wife and says, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas.”

His wife, Rhonda, thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

Rhonda welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. Robert says, “Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?”

“I did,” Rhonda replies, “they were in your tackle box.”

~~~

Patience is never more important than when you are at the edge of losing it.

O. A. Battista

~~~

As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block. All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust. Suddenly, we realized why………we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them….

~~~

It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

~~~

After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. “I’m busy,” he said, “I’ll do the next one.”

The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled,

“Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!”

~~~

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

~~~

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the rest.

Strike while the …………………….bug is close.

It’s always darkest before………………Daylight Saving Time.

Never underestimate the power of……….termites.

Don’t bite the hand that………………..looks dirty.

You can’t teach an old dog new…………..math.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll…………stink in the morning.

Where there’s smoke there’s……………..pollution.

Happy the bride who……………………..gets all the presents.

A penny saved is…………………………not much.

Two’s company, three’s………………….the Musketeers.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and….you have to blow your nose.

There are none so blind as……………….Stevie Wonder.

If at first you don’t succeed…………….don’t skydive.

When the blind leadeth the blind………….get out of the way.

Better late than………………………pregnant!!!!

~~~

“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; if I can ease one life the aching, or cool any pain, or help one fainting robin unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.”

Emily Dickinson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Watch out, I am out, and about

“To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist.”

Gail Sheehy

Yippee, I got out over the weekend. Saturday I made the Farmers Market and bought a bag of sweet corn fresh from the field. I also picked up some farm made multigrain bread that was outstanding. But the highlight was a short visit with a chef friend where I regularly purchase some of her products; before I left she gave me a good size container of a special crab spread that has been a real treat. She is a reader of the Daily and one of the good things that happened to me this summer was connecting with her.

I also got some long delayed shopping done and even had dinner at a favorite restaurant. I’ll tell you I was ready after being grounded for so long.

There is more medical work to be done but at least I’m mobile. The heart plumbers and electricians have passed me on. My intestinal plumbing is functioning better than it has been and this afternoon I will see the air handler docs to see if my problems are lung related. We are at the point where we need to see about following the doc’s advice and cancelling our cruise scheduled for next month. It is on the largest ship afloat and requires a lot of walking which I cannot do these days without pain and breathing problems so it would be more of a burden than I am willing to deal with. Of course watching my savings plunge with the market has not been the best therapy either.

Don’t get me wrong we are making progress and I am confident the improvements will continue. You are probably tired of all my status reports so I’ll stop and limit the news to positive results.

Here is a poem by Catherine Pulsifer that I especially like and I hope that we all do our best to always make the positive choices

 

Today You Can

 

Today you can choose to count your blessings or you can count your troubles.

Today you can live each moment or you can put in time.

Today you can take action towards your goals or you can procrastinate.

Today you can plan for the future or you can regret the past.

Today you can learn one new thing or you can stay the same.

Today you can seek possibilities or you can overwhelm yourself with the impossible.

Today you can continue to move forward or you can quit.

Today you can take steps towards resolving your challenges or you can procrastinate.

You see today the choices are up to you in deciding what you do today.

~~~

“Positive things happen to positive people.”

Sarah Beeny

~~~

A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, “Who was the greatest man that ever lived?”

A girl raises her hand and says, “I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Father of our country.”

The teacher replies, “Well…that’s a good answer, but that’s not the answer I am looking for.”

Another young student raises his hand and says, “I think Abraham Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because he freed the slaves and helped end the civil war.” … “Well, that’s another good answer, but that is not the one I was looking for.”

Then the new Jewish boy raises his hand and says, “I think Jesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived.” The teacher’s mouth drops open in astonishment. “Yes!” she says, “that’s the answer I was looking for.”

She then brings him up to the front of the classroom and gives him a lollipop.

Later, during recess, another Jewish boy approaches him as he is licking his lollipop. He says, “Why did you say, ‘Jesus Christ’?” The boy stops licking his lollipop and replies, “I know it’s Moses, and YOU know it’s Moses, but business is business.”

~~~

Is the reason firemen always have Dalmatian dogs with them so that they can find the fire hydrants?

~~~

Future Novelists… These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays

•           Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh master.

•           His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

•           He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

•           She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

•           He was a tall as a six foot three inch tree.

•           The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM.

•           The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

•           McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

•           From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30.

•           Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

•           He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the east river.

•           The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil.  But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

•           “Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

•           The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

•           She was as easy as the TV guide crossword.

~~~

All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

~~~

A father asks his son, now aged 13, if he knows about the birds and the bees.

“I don’t want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears.

Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong.

“Oh dad,” he sobbed, “at age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grown-ups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!

~~~

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; a pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.”

Sir Winston Churchill

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

One more day

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

Dolly Parton

Unfortunately my recovery is a little slower than expected so my return to the outside world will be delayed another day. The good news is that tomorrow is Saturday and I should be able to make my weekly trip to the Farmers Market where I will pick up some fantastic Indiana grown produce and when I return to a normal diet next week I will savor the best food around.

Having to stay in another day is not a total loss as my replacement smart phone is going to be delivered and we will see if I am smart enough to make it do all that my lost phone did. We are pretty confident that once I get it working we will find the original.

Oh well, life goes on. Sometimes it does not go as well as we would like, I have been especially challenged of late, but it does go on. The ups and downs add texture, while friends and family provide the safe haven. As I thought about it all I remembered the following piece that I think describes the elements that can make our lives bearable and pleasurable. I don’t know who wrote it but I am glad they did.

 

Life

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be – a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger – but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.

If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

Learn a lesson in life each day that you live!

~~~

“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to bring you joy.”

~~~

A elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery. Pausing before one gravestone he said, “There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50 dollars, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts, and if anyone has gone to heaven, he has.” They walked on a bit further and then came to another grave. The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, “Now there’s a different type of man altogether. He owed me 60 dollars and he died without ever trying to pay me back. If anyone has gone to hell, he has.”

The little boy thought for a while and then said, “You know, Grandpa, you are very lucky.”

“Why?” asked the old man in surprise.

“Well, whichever place you go to, you’ll have some money to draw on.”

~~~

“Try to keep your soul young and quivering right up to old age, and to imagine right up to the brink of death that life is only beginning. I think that is the only way to keep adding to one’s talent, and one’s inner happiness.”

George Sand

~~~

She said: My husband decided life would be easier if he wired a new light switch in the master bedroom to save us from fumbling in the dark for the lamp. He cut through the drywall and found a stash of bottles and small boxes inside the wall.

“Honey!” he called excitedly. “You’ve got to come here and see what I found.”

I ran in and quickly realized that his next task would be to fix the hole that now led into the back of our medicine cabinet.

~~~

Rubberneck: What you do to relax your wife.

~~~

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: “An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s mate is found in a ‘compromising position.'”

“See, I have a problem with that passion business,” responded the jury candidate. “During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him.”

She wasn’t selected for the jury.

~~~

You never get ahead of anyone as long as you try to get even with him.

Lou Holtz

~~~

A minister planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service, had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married.

“Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?” he asked.

Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

~~~

“May you live all the days of your life.”

Jonathan Swift

~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I will escape tomorrow!

“I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.”

George Patton

 

Today will be my last day of home confinement so tomorrow I’ll drive and break out at least for a while. My new phone should be delivered tomorrow as well so I will be challenged setting it up and rebuilding it to the same state as the one that is hiding. While I really like the Blackberry Torch I find that it is not always as user friendly in the set up as I would like. This is due to its hundreds of options and features so hopefully when we next visit on Monday I will be with a working smart phone and will have benefited from some weekend socialization. Later in the day I will be off to pulmonary wonderland hoping the wizard can work some magic and restore my exuberance.

While I do my best to always stay positive sometimes it is not all that easy. It is at those times that I realize how hard it must be for those who have little these days, joblessness, home loss, lack of health insurance, and a turbulent world can really take folks down. The bottom line is that it takes work to cope and keep from succumbing to despair. The other day I got an article written by Alice Landry offering tips on how to stay emotionally healthy that I think is worth sharing. Here in part is what she wrote:

 

Emotional health refers to your overall psychological wellbeing. People who are emotionally healthy handle stress well, deal with challenges as opportunities, have a positive self-image, and are able to sustain healthy relationships. Review the following tips on how to stay emotionally healthy.

Laugh often. – Emotional benefits of laughter include feeling a sense of contentment and joy, shifting your perspective to a positive outlook, giving you more courage and hope, dissolving tense situations, and improving overall mood.

Do frequent feelings checks. – Determine how you feel when you wake up in the morning. If the feeling is negative, figure out what’s causing it and take steps to resolve the unsettling situation. Reorient your emotions with affirmations and confidence to set a new tone for the day.

Focus on the positive. – Admit any negative feelings you may have, deal with them, and move on. Do not dwell on circumstances from the past or those you cannot control. Say positive affirmations and keep inspirational quotes handy. Remember that what you focus on is what you will attract in life, so put your energy toward that which you desire, not what you don’t want.

Stay socially connected. – Involving yourself in projects and activities with family, friends, or the general community is a strong aspect of wellness at any age. Pick an interest that you would like to learn more about, join a club focused on that particular hobby, and form connections with those involved. Social networking websites also offer an outlet for creating relationships based on similar interests.

Channel your feelings productively. – If you feel acutely angered or overwhelmed, instead of harboring negative emotions, release built-up tension through activities such as running, writing in a journal, or transforming stress into motivation to achieve your goals.

Avoid all or nothing thinking. – Thinking in terms of black and white absolutes instead of shades of grey is a common element of depression. Words like disastrous, terrible, ruined, and never should be red flag signs that you may be thinking catastrophically. Situations may be unfortunate, but not a complete end-of-the-world disaster. Consider the point that even smart people don’t always make the best choices. You can learn from your mistakes and consciously choose a healthier path next time.

~~~

Oh, my friend, it’s not what they take away from you that counts.  It’s what you do with what you have left.

Hubert Humphrey

~~~

She said: On my four year old daughter’s first trip to Disneyland she couldn’t wait too get on Mr Toad’s Wild Ride. As the car zoomed through crazy rooms, into the path of a speeding train, and through walls that fell away at the last second, she clutched the little steering wheel in front of her.

When the ride is over she said to me a little shakily, “Next time, you drive, I didn’t know where I was going!”

~~~

There is no such thing as an empty space or an empty time.

There is always something to see, something to hear.

John Cage

~~~

The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men; the ratio of male to female software engineers is about 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find potential mates among their peers.  However, software types have a well-earned reputation for being . . . well, a little strange.

While discussing the prospect of working in the software industry, one woman commented to another, “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”

~~~

Never read the fine print. There ain’t no way you’re going to like it.

~~~

Donald Ogden Stewart, the writer, had a son away at prep school.  When the boy reached the age of fourteen, Stewart wrote him the following letter:

“Dear son, now that you have reached the magic age of fourteen, the time has come to tell you about the bees and flowers.  There is a male and a female bee, although I haven’t the slightest idea which is which. As for the flowers – we get ours from the Plaza Florist, Inc.

Well, that takes care of that.

Write soon, Affectionately,

Father

~~~

I am worried about my finances. They are now sending me pre-rejected credit cards.

~~~

The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his sermon.

One day, she asked him why.

“Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.”

“And how come He doesn’t do it?” she asked.

~~~

I told my wife she’d have to make my paycheck go further, so…..she she took it to Hawaii.

~~~

She said: Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband.

When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. “Wow, look at that!” he said with appreciation. “It’s my old Plymouth!”

~~~

Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others.

Wilfred Peterson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Shall we dance?

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul

And sings the tunes without the words

And never stops –at all.

Emily Dickinson

 

I am back after my cardiac catheterization exam yesterday. The good news is that what blockage I have does not warrant any corrective action so both my cardiac electro-physiologists and cardiovascular docs have passed me on to the pulmonologists and I go in to see them next Monday. I have been avoiding too my physical activity as instructed by my docs, I am now wondering if I may have cured myself and don’t know it so after I have completed my post op procedures in a day or two, I am going to again hit them streets and see how I am doing.

My latest miss adventure has been the loss of my smart phone somewhere in my house. We have looked high and low and not found it, since my life is managed via my phones stored data I have had to order a replacement. Of course with a year left on my contract, no insurance and an expensive Blackberry Torch all I could see was hundreds of dollars going out of our savings. Fortunately I found an on-line ATT agent that took me through a number of gyrations that looks like have reduced me replacement cost to less than $100. Now I need to help my wife feel good about her birthday yesterday with her gifts being Lovenox syringes at a cost of hundred dollars each so I can administer my post op injections and now an additional gift of a replacement phone for me. To get away from her having to sacrifice I am giving her an IOU for a deferred birthday bash at our local casino and horse track.

Here are some thoughts from the past; hopefully I’ll be back up to full speed tomorrow.

Ray’s Daily August 18, 2004

As I was getting my weekly Iron IV at the hospital yesterday I again noticed how upbeat the cancer patients were as they received their chemo treatments. Since I had just started reading Studs Turkel’s book on hope I could not help thinking about the great difference that hope makes in our lives. I am not talking about hope like the one we have when we say we hope to win the lottery, or that our team wins, or that I get good grades on my test. The kind of hope I mean is hope that tells us not to give up, the kind that reminds us that there is always hope.

In today’s world we need to know that there is hope that we can again achieve peace and that we can again enjoy our lives. They say that hope springs eternal yet so many seem to give up hope. Often it is not a case of believing that all will go bad, rather it is case of resignation. I often think that we have come to believe in an either/or world. You’re either are a pessimist or you are an optimist, you’re either are my enemy or my friend. But in the real world it is not that simple. We can lack optimism without becoming pessimists; if we just give up, we are neither.

Even if the odds are great that all will not be well, we still have hope. If we decide that there is no hope, you can almost guarantee that there won’t be. With hope we can face another day. With hope we often can work miracles. So never give up, we need you too badly.

~~~

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles.

Samuel Smiles

~~~

A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader. “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?”

Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!”

~~~

Never wave to your friends at an auction.

~~~

Bob, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!” They’re knocked over, but continue to ask. “So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?”

Bob says, “I lied about my age.”

His friends respond, “What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?” Bob smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 90.”

~~~

Until Eve arrived, this was a man’s world.

~~~

A recent transplant to the mountains of North Carolina writes:

The folks around these parts have a peculiarity that drives me nutty. You ask them an “either/or” question, and their answer is– “That’ll be fine!” I asked a lady the other night who was coming through my register at Wal-Mart, “Ma’am, would you like your milk in a bag or not?”

“That’ll be fine,” was her reply.

I looked quizzically at her, and asked, “Does that mean ‘yes’ or ‘no’?” “I said that that’ll be fine,” was her answer. Since I was holding it up in my hand, out of a bag, I decided to assume that “that” in this case meant “that naked jug of milk that you’re holding in your hand, not in a bag.”

This feeling was further reinforced by a slight nod of the head towards the jug just as she said the word “that’ll.”  I set the jug in the buggy without putting it in a sack.

“I *said* I wanted it in a bag,” she complained. “You want me to shout it or write it down for you?

“That’ll be fine!” I replied.

~~~

Primate: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

~~~

When I arrived for my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty. “For example, she’ll do the wrong page in the workbook,” the teacher explained, “and I’ve even found her sitting in the wrong desk.”

“I don’t understand that,” I replied defensively. “Where could she have gotten that?”

The teacher went on to reassure me that my daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likeable. Finally, after a pause, she added, “By the way, our appointment was for tomorrow.”

~~~

Q: Why are men like blenders?

A: You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

~~~

Her Philosophy of Housecleaning

I don’t do windows because … I love birds and don’t want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. (I am compassionate.)

I don’t wax floors because … I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I’ll feel terrible and they may sue me. (I am careful and

poor.)

I don’t mind the dust bunnies because … they are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say. (I am imaginative.)

I don’t disturb cobwebs because … I want every creature to have a home of their own and my family loves spiders. (I am kind.)

I don’t Spring Clean because … I love all the seasons and don’t want the others to get jealous. (I am fair-minded.)

I don’t plant a garden because … I don’t want to get in God’s way, He is an excellent designer. (I am courteous.)

I don’t put things away because … my family will never be able to find them again. (I am considerate.)

I don’t do gourmet meals when I entertain because I don’t want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

I don’t iron because … I choose to believe them when they say “Permanent Press”. (I am trusting.)

I don’t stress much on anything because … “A Type” personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol’ woman!!!!

~~~

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes.

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

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