Home from the sea
“Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm”
I am back in the US after a memorable couple of weeks at sea and a long flight home. This was truly the cruise to remember. We left Florida on a Sunday night and set out for the eight day Atlantic crossing to Ireland. It was not long after we left that the seas started to rise beginning three days of major storms. At one point the gale winds were over 70 miles-per-hour (113 KM) and the swells more than 40 feet (12 meters). The ship rolled to the extent that crystal, liquor, and other breakables were tossed from the shelves in the shops requiring them to stay closed for cleanup. The Captain’s welcoming reception was delayed a couple of days so that he could stay on the bridge. The production show scheduled for the second day was cancelled because it was too dangerous for the dancers to do their thing on a pitching stage. Of course many of the passengers got sea sick and everything scheduled above decks was also cancelled. I was OK, I got plenty of rest and read a couple of books.
Once the weather got better and the seas relatively calm I started to experience some intestinal problems which required me to take some stomach medicine and to go on a very restricted diet. I’ll tell you it is not easy watching everyone else at the table eat sumptuous five course meals while I sipped water and ate broth.
We finally made it to Cork, Ireland only to be greeted by 30 mph winds (48 KM) and driving rains. The weather kept us aboard until after lunch when we left on a bus tour to Blarney. We enjoyed the trip visited the Blarney Woolen Mill, bought some stuff and headed back to the ship. The next morning we anchored in an English harbor at Falmouth about 5 miles (8KM) from shore. I had taken a turn for the worse so I stayed aboard ship while the others braved the long ride to shore in fairly heavy seas. I ended up in the ships clinic getting blood work, an IV of fluids and electrolytes, and was put on an even stricter diet. Fortunately I recovered enough to visit the cliffs on the French sea coast the next day and spend a few hours at a seaside village. Then it was on to Belgium where we had a great day in Brugge one of my favorite places in the world. I was even able to eat that night. The next morning we landed in Amsterdam, took a short tour and then a long couple of plane rides back to Indiana.
As I said it was a truly memorable trip. But in spite of it all I am glad we went. We had great tablemates who are now new friends. We saw some sights, had a few good meals, and best of all made it home again. Oh yes, I forgot to tell you, my shipboard medical bill was $640.
“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
There was a clerk in a small town general store in the South. One day, a tall man entered the store and began filling a shopping cart with items. This man was so distinctive in that he could have been the official spokesperson for Quaker Oats. He was dressed in black, very tall and had that hat just like the Quaker Oats guy wears. Well, the clerk had never seen a Quaker before, let alone talked to one. When the man reached the counter with his selections the clerk could hardly contain himself. "Are you a Quaker"? he asked as he was trying to ring up the merchandise.
"Yes," the tall man said with a little edge in his voice.
"No joke?" asked the clerk, "You’re really a real Quaker?"
The man, looking a little more perturbed, said, "Yes, I am a real Quaker."
"Wow!" the young clerk said, "I never seen a real Quaker before. Would you say something in Quaker talk for me?" asked the clerk.
The tall man ignored this request and waited for his merchandise to be tallied up. As clerk finished ringing up the sale he said, "Please mister, say something in Quaker talk?"
The man finally leaned over the counter in a gesture of secrecy. The clerk leaned forward in order to hear the quiet reply. The man said, "Screw Thee."
Don’t be afraid that your life will end. Be afraid that it will never begin.
At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a widow to guess her age. "You must have some idea," she urged when he hesitated.
"I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile, "the trouble is that I don’t know whether to make it ten years younger because of your looks or ten years older because of your intelligence."
A husband answered the phone, "No, I’m afraid she’s not in at the moment. Who shall I say was going to listen?"
My cardiologist had bad news for me: "You’re going to need a pacemaker."
Later, the nurse filling out the admission form began to ask me the standard questions: "Have you ever had mumps, measles, etc.?"
Seeing how upset I was, she put down the clipboard and took my hand. "Don’t worry. This kind of heart problem is easily fixed, and your life will be much better as a result."
I felt reassured until she continued with, "Do you have a living will?"
"What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to."
Hansell B. Duckett
Jake had proposed to young Gina, and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law.
"Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?" the older man asked the suitor.
"Yes, sir," replied Jake, "I’m sure I am."
"Think carefully now," said Gina’s father. "There are twelve of us…"
A study published in "Neurology" says people who snore are more prone to getting headaches. No reason is given. But could it be on account of their spouses hitting them in the head all night long trying to get them to stop snoring?
Sign seen on a plastic surgeon’s window: "Come in and pick your nose!"
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Better to lose a lover, than love a loser.
A newspaper editor received this note from a reader:
"My wife was about to file for a divorce when she read the article in your paper about the importance of giving second chances in making a marriage work. So she changed her mind about the divorce. Effective today, cancel my subscription to your paper"
The best way to keep good acts in memory is to refresh them with new.
A memorable tombstone
Harry Edsel Smith
Born 1903–Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
(Albany, New York)
"It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed."
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.
The editor is somewhat senile.