Ray's musings and humor

Archive for November, 2008

Your Daily team has left the building

Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.

E.P. Powell

 

 

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day in the USA and Friday is known as Black Friday, a day when millions will crowd the shops starting in the wee hours of the morning searching for bargains. The reason they call it Black Friday is that stores everywhere deeply discount their goods in an effort to sell enough that they will have a profitable Christmas season. Unfortunately the economy will probably limit sales but I am sure it will not limit the crowds. While my wife and daughters will be out and about I’ll be staying home avoiding the madness.

While tomorrow is the National Holiday Friday is also a day off for many. In that spirit I have told my computer and all its attached devices that they can take off until next Monday. They have preformed well and deserve the rest. So Today will be the last Daily until next week. Oh yes and please do me a favor, enjoy the next few days. I am thankful that we are connected I hope you are as well.

I think the following message from Ralph Marston is worth thinking about as we enjoy our day of thanks:

How often do you stop to count your blessings? In your daily struggle for more, how often do you feel joyful and thankful for the many, many things you already have?

In your ambitious quest to better your life, be careful that you don’t overlook the wealth that you already have. Wealth? Yes, wealth that is very real and very accessible to you.

Did you know that you already have abundant wealth? Perhaps you don’t feel like it if you’ve just paid the bills. Yet each and every one of us has an abundance that is almost beyond comprehension. The secret is to tap into that abundance and use it to do whatever we want to do.

And the process starts with counting your blessings. Taking stock of the things you have, the things you know, the people in your life, your spirituality, your skills, your opinions, your special perspective on life, your family, your hobbies, your sense of humor, your appreciation for beauty, your caring for others, your concern for those less fortunate, your ability to see opportunity. The list of possibilities is endless, and these things all have value beyond anything you can imagine.

I challenge you to take a good hard look at yourself and to count your blessings. Think of as many of them as you can. Think of the beauty and richness of your life. These things don’t require money or power or position. They all spring from your attitude, the way you react to situations, the way you value others, the way you value life itself.

Right now, within yourself, you have the ability to do anything you want with your life. You have complete control of your behavior, your actions from minute to minute. Look deep inside yourself and tap into the wealth that lies hidden within you. It is there if only you will look, and the best way to find it is with an attitude of thanksgiving and joy.

~~~

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

~~~

I wrote this on this day six years ago, I feel the same way today.

Have you noticed that all the nay-sayers and negative people are seldom grateful. They always think they deserve more and others deserve less. It is sad that they go through life without realizing all the important things that we have. Melody Beattie had it right when she said:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

~~~

"The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong."

~~~

After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we’ve finally saved enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979."

"You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly.

"No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac."

~~~

Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Into what?

~~~

Max fell in love with Maureen, but the pretty Irish lass wouldn’t marry him unless he converted from Judaism to Catholicism. Love being stronger than any other emotion, Max undertook the studies that would make him a good Catholic.

Some months later, Maureen ran into her friend Paula, who asked, "When’s your wedding?"

Maureen answered, "There’ll be no wedding."

"Why not?"

"Max studied so hard he now wants to be a priest!"

~~~

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

~~~

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, and a woman rushed to help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It’s all right honey, I’ve had a course in first aid."

The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man’s pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m already here."

~~~

Being a husband is like any other job.  It helps a lot if you like the boss.

~~~

A drummer on a big band was having trouble with his time. He kept getting behind the beat and the band is getting fed up and goes to the leader and says he should be fired.

However, the leader says he’s known the guy forever, he’s always been a good drummer, and he’ll talk to the guy and see what the problem is. He goes to the drummer, who admits he’s having problems and who says he’s working on it and to please not fire him.

But things get worse. He keeps slowing down the beat and coming in late and finally the whole band threatens to quit.

The leader has to fire him.

The drummer is so depressed that he goes down to the railroad tracks and throws himself behind a train.

~~~

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

Nina and Rosey shared the chores and on this day Nina went to the grocery store. In addition to the healthful items on their carefully prepared shopping list, she returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies.

Nina noticed Rosey’s glare and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual."

"Oh really?? Why is that?" Rosey asked.

"I ate a third of the cookies on the way home," Nina replied.

~~~

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.

Thornton Wilder

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

You’ll be glad you did!

“What I do you cannot do; but what you do, I cannot do. The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things.

But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.”

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

 

 

I have found that we can bank a whole lot of good days by spending time helping make a difference and you know what, most of it can be done at no cost. Recently I stumbled across the following edited list written by a neat lady named Anolia "Leah" Orfrecio Facun. I hope you’ll take a few minutes and read what she offers.

 

The TIME has come… We say ‘No more to gloom and doom!’ It is time to rise to our true potential… to experience total wellness in every area of our lives, contributing to solutions to maintain the quality of life we enjoy in our communities. This is the time that we need each other most, to work together, joining our hands together in making a difference.

For YOURSELF:

  • Smile more often! Be amazed of how many will be happy to smile back at you. Besides, this is the best facial exercise you can make to delay aging signs — so smile!
  • Read and learn more. Devote time and money for self-improvement, the best investment you can make that truly pays off.
  • Love, care, give, and share more. This practice is the very purpose of your life.
  • Keep believing. Pray. Nurture your spirit. This won’t cost you any, but help or answer to your needs can be just a prayer away.

For those YOU CARE ABOUT:

  • If you love them, then say it and show it! Do not take them for granted. They need both to hear and see you care.
  • Spend more quality time with them. It is what they’ll remember most.
  • Visit, write, call those you haven’t for a while.

For our CHILDREN or YOUTH:

  • Walk or create programs for youth to benefit them and rally for their good future.
  • Give them more opportunities to explore and develop their natural gifts and talents, express their dreams and goals.
  • Encourage our children more by your words and example. Stay positive!

For our VOLUNTEERS: (For helping us make things happen.)

  • Big "thank you!" note or anything to show your appreciation of them.
  • Join them and be prepared to do a random act of kindness anytime.
  • How about "volunteers appreciation day" to celebrate them and have a good break?

For our ENVIRONMENT: (We only have one planet, so we must take care of it.)

  • Clean and plant trees with your workmates, neighbors, etc. anywhere permissible.
  • Recycle consciously, not just plastics and papers, but clothes and others you can share. Clean up your closet, garage, or storage for everything that you don’t need. Do a yard sale or simply drive to or call local charities for pickup. This is one recycling to meet needs of others.

For ALL of US:

  • Sing, dance, be happy no matter what. Brighter days are yet to come!
  • Speak the truth. Seeking the truth can set someone free.
  • Notice and say something good or positive to someone, and mean it.
  • Learn survival techniques. Always be prepared for any emergency.
  • Accept yourself. You are gifted and blessed more than you know.
  • Be forgiving and understanding as you seek forgiveness and understanding.
  • Be involved in your community in making good things happen!

~~~

Coming together is a beginning.

Keeping together is progress.

Working together is success.

Henry Ford

~~~

A guy once wandered into a Jewish restaurant and ordered roast chicken. It arrived complete with potatoes and a few sundries, and the diner looked at it without much favor. He said to the waiter, "Don’t I get a green vegetable?"

And the waiter said, "And what color is the pickle? Purple?"

~~~

Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.

Rita Mae Brown

~~~

A Mom and Dad went to a restaurant one evening. Dad was about halfway finishing his meal when took a hard look at the potato.

He called the waitress and said, "This potato is bad."

The waitress picked it up, smacked it, and put it back on the plate, then said,

“If that potato causes any more trouble just let me know.”

~~~

"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking."

Henry Louis Mencken

~~~

One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.

The mechanical engineer said, "I think a rod broke."

The chemical engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I think it’s not getting enough gas."

The electrical engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something’s wrong with the electrical system."

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"

The computer engineer said, "I think we should all get out and then get back in."

~~~

"The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them."

Robert Frost

~~~

Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out, "Okay, everyone in the house, please be advised that I, Little Johnny, have on this date made a complete fool of myself in sex education class by repeating stories concerning storks as told to me by certain parties residing in this house!"

~~~

A mother may hope that her daughter will get a better husband that she did, but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did.

~~~

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.

"All right children, let’s take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?"

Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "you’d be his wife!"

~~~

Small deeds done are better than greater deeds planned.

~~~

As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the military base where he was working. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper thin and they had no privacy. That was painfully obvious one morning when the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor.

"Give this to your husband," he said, thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He’s been yelling for it for 15 minutes!"

~~~

"Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best."

Henry Vandyke

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

Join Us?

So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done.

Marian Wright Edelman

 

 

For those of us in the United States this is the week that we set aside a day of thanksgiving. I hope those of you in the other parts of the world will join us at least mentally as we reflect on what we have at a time that is difficult for so many people.

What I would like for all of us to do this week is not let ourselves be dragged into depression by our problems but rather rise in appreciation of what we do have. I believe that almost all of us are much better off than the majority of the people in the world.

I may not eat at fancy restaurants as I use to but I eat and I eat pretty well. I may not be able to buy as much as I once did but I already have more than enough to meet my needs. While I have lost friends that I will always miss, they have been replaced by others who enrich my life. I am blessed by my family who while having problems as most do, find joy in each other.

I can go on and on listing what is right in my life and hopefully I will continue to do so between now and Thanksgiving Thursday, I know I will not have time think about what I don’t have. And you know what? At the end of the week I am going to build on all I have to be thankful for and waste no time trying to find out who to blame for today’s challenging times.

It is time to look ahead with hope and not back in desperation. In fact I would love for you and me to always concentrate on being thankful for our life as it is while working to make it and the lives of others even better.

So please take sometime to be thankful this week and then on Thursday when you spend the day with others let them see that you truly appreciate them and the opportunity to share what is right in your life. Just think what the day would be if everyone decided to celebrate what they have rather then covet what they don’t have.

~~~

To live a life of gratitude is to open our eyes to the countless ways in which we are supported by the world around us. Such a life provides less space for our suffering because our attention is more balanced. We are more often occupied with noticing what we are given, thanking those who have helped us, and repaying the world in some concrete way for what we are receiving.

Gregg Krech

~~~

She told me that parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes

-1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

-2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

-3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Baby’s Name

-1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.

-2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

-3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.

Preparing for the Birth

-1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

-2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

-3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

-1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

-2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

-3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Worries

-1st baby: At the first sign of distress — a whimper, a frown you pick up the baby.

-2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

-3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Going Out

-1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

-2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

-3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home

-1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

-2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

-3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

~~~

If you want to make people angry, lie. If you want to make them livid, tell the truth.

~~~

Boy is this true or what?

When a man needs a suit, he and his wife go to the store. The salesman and the wife make selections from the rack. The husband tries them on. The wife and the salesman discuss the fit, remarking on the fullness, thinness or any asymmetry of the husband’s body. The jacket and pants are pulled, tucked, pleated and bunched in assessing the need for tailoring.

Once a suit is chosen, the wife and the store’s tailor repeat the fitting procedure and then negotiate a date when the suit will be ready.

On leaving the store, the husband may talk if he wishes.

~~~

To belittle is to be little.

~~~

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar, flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered.

"All right, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my hoss ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what i dun in texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in texas!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled-up and started riding out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say pardner, before you go… what happened in Texas?"

The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."

~~~

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

About 30 pounds.

~~~

One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband.

"A penny for your thoughts," she said.

"It’s amazing!" he replied. "I just can’t see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50."

~~~

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Melody Beattie

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

Make it easy

We all have obligations and duties toward our fellow men. But it does seem curious enough that in modern neurotic society, men’s energies are consumed in making a living and rarely in living itself. It takes a lot of courage for a man to declare, with clarity and simplicity, that the purpose of life is to enjoy it.

Lin Yutang

 

 

My brother and my sister-in-law are visiting for two days. Yesterday we talked some about changing lifestyles to fit the challenges of today. My brother is currently living on a boat on the West Coast after 25 years or more of life at sea, he has lived on uninhabited islands, spent years in the South Pacific, Asia, Europe, actually every part of the world. In fact traveled around the world over the years with just he and his wife on a relatively small sailing boat. These days they are wintering based in California and summering on their river barge in Europe.

So as you can imagine they are experts on living the simpler life, sometimes living off of the sea and food stuffs that they have found where they happened to be. The following is the result of my looking for something that we could use to make our lives simpler. I extracted it from an article on the Zenhabits webpage.

  • First, take a step back and think about what’s important to you. What do you really want to be doing, who do you want to spend your time with, what do you want to accomplish with your work? Make a short list of 4-5 things for your life, 4-5 people you want to spend time with, 4-5 things you’d like to accomplish at work.
  • Examine your commitments. A big part of the problem is that our lives are way too full. We can’t possibly do everything we have committed to doing, and we certainly can’t enjoy it if we’re trying to do everything. Accept that you can’t do everything, know that you want to do what’s important to you, and try to eliminate the commitments that aren’t as important.
  • Do less each day. Don’t fill your day up with things to do. You will end up rushing to do them all. If you normally try (and fail) to do 7-10 things, do 3 important ones instead (with 3 more smaller items to do if you get those three done). This will give you time to do what you need to do, and not rush.
  • Eliminate as much as possible from your to-do list. You can’t do everything on your to-do list. Even if you could, more things will come up. As much as you can, simplify your to-do list down to the essentials. This allows you to rush less and focus more on what’s important.
  • Now, slow down and enjoy every task. Whatever you’re doing, whether it’s a work task or taking a shower or brushing your teeth or cooking dinner or driving to work, slow down. Try to enjoy whatever you’re doing. Try to pay attention, instead of thinking about other things. Be in the moment. This isn’t easy, as you will often forget. But find a way to remind yourself. Unless the task involves actual pain, there isn’t anything that can’t be enjoyable if you give it the proper attention.
  • Single-task. Do one thing at a time, and do it well.
  • Eliminate stress. Find the stressors in your life, and find ways to eliminate them
  • Create time for solitude. In addition to slowing down and enjoying the tasks we do, and doing less of them, it’s also important to just have some time to yourself.
  • Do nothing. Sometimes, it’s good to forget about doing things, and do nothing.
  • Sprinkle simple pleasures throughout your day. Knowing what your simple pleasures are, and putting a few of them in each day, can go a long way to making life more enjoyable.
  • Make frugality an enjoyable thing too. Instead of delayed gratification, try enjoying life now while saving for later.

~~~

Affluence without simplicity is a giant trap. Every saint who ever lived, lived simply- not because he was holier, but because he was smarter.

Christian Science Monitor

~~~

She said:

I wish I were a bear.

If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate.

You do nothing but sleep for six months.

I could get used to that.

And another thing; before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid.

That wouldn’t bother me either.

IF you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business; you swat anyone who bothers your cubs.

If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.

Your husband expects you to growl when you wake up.

He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat.

He likes it.

I wish I were a bear.

~~~

I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married.

I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?

~~~

A foursome teed off on the long par-3 eighth hole. The green on this hole lay behind a large bunker, so any shot that made the green would disappear over the top ridge of bunker. You couldn’t tell where your ball landed until you arrived on the green. After the last player hit his shot, the first golfer to hit charged off down the fairway, without waiting for the others. He disappeared over the bunker and seconds later came running back down the fairway to the other three, yelling and screaming, "I got a hole-in-one! I don’t believe it!"

"You’ve got to be kidding," said the other golfers in the foursome. "You run ahead of us down the fairway. Then you vanish over the rise, where you know we can’t see you, and, all of a sudden, you start hootin’ and hollerin’ about a hole-in-one. Do you actually expect us to believe you? How stupid do you think we three are?"

"No, no. It’s true. I swear it," he said crossing his heart. "Go look. I left it in the hole to prove it."

~~~

A pessimist mourns the future.

~~~

Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel; the only way to move things was by carrying or dragging. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food preparation area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just watching. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had an idea: They could sit on the much more comfortable boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to watching football on television.

~~~

There’s more to life than increasing its speed.

~~~

When entering a hotel where she and her husband were staying, Gladys, a devout Baptist, noticed a shabbily dressed man lounging idly in front of the newspaper stand in the lobby. She noticed that several men stopped to talk to him and gave him a little money. He seemed so cheered by the encounters she impulsively put ten dollars in an envelope, wrote ‘God Bless" on the outside, and handed it to him.

The nest day the man stopped her on the street. "Here’s your $250," he said cheerily. "God Bless won 28 to 1!"

~~~

To make the world a friendly place, one must show it a friendly face.

James Whitcomb Riley

~~~

Arnold was a ventriloquist, and not a good one at that. In fact business was so bad that he was trying his luck as a medium. One day, a widow came into his office and said that she wanted to contact her dear departed husband and asked Arnold what he charged.

"If you only want to hear him speak," said Arnold, "I charge $30. If you want to have a conversation with him, I charge $50. But I charge $100 if you want a conversation with him while I’m drinking a glass of water."

~~~

“Each of us will one day be judged by our standard of life — not by our standard of living; by our measure of giving — not by our measure of wealth; by our simple goodness — not by our seeming greatness.”

William Arthur Ward

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

At Last

“Many fine things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow”

 

 

It looks like my reduced life style may be a blessing in disguise since now I’ll have time to do things I have put off over the years. I will have time for that book I never read, the movie I never saw, the issue I never researched, and of the greatest importance time for the people I respect. The list is long and it might take me awhile before I get to that book or study that subject since there are so many people who I never should have drifted away from. So if you find me on your doorstep, in your mail box or on your computer in the days ahead it is only because I want you to know how much I value you.

I was going to write about something else today but I stumbled across the following poem that reminded me that I have not told too many people how important they are in my eyes.

 

Tomorrow

Tomorrow-I’ll tell him just what he means,

That living and loving with him is in my dreams

Tomorrow-I’ll give a big hug to mum,

Say a quick thank you for all that she’s done.

Tomorrow-I’ll call or even drop by,

I’ll say ‘I love you’ state all the reasons why.

 

Tomorrow-I’ll go about getting in touch,

With forgotten friends I miss so much.

Tomorrow-I’ll take the first step to my goal,

That I’ve always thought would make my life whole.

Tomorrow-I’ll count all my blessings in life,

Consider it privilege to be a midwife …

 

But what should I do if that day never comes,

And all good intentions come undone.

If life should spin a crazy dance,

All these things and you never got the chance.

If you woke up tomorrow to find that they’d gone,

Looked at your list, realized you’d done none.

 

All the things you were going to do today,

A million things you never got to say.

Would you be confident that you’d given your all,

Or guilty that you didn’t make that call?

Could you be at peace, content that they knew,

Just how much they all meant to you?

 

So, to avoid that nightmare never becoming real,

Love life, love others and show how you feel.

~~~

“Too many times we stand aside and let the waters slip away, till what we put off till tomorrow has now become today. So don’t you sit upon the shoreline and say you’re satisfied. Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide.”

Author Unknown

~~~

Two lawyers went into a diner and sat down at the counter. They ordered two sodas, took sandwiches out of their briefcases and started to eat them.
The owner saw what was going on and approached the men. "You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here," he complained.
The two lawyers stopped, looked at each other, and then swapped their sandwiches.

~~~

A rock <– me –> A hard place

~~~

More of my plans for when I become overlord, notwithstanding what we have learned from the movies.

·      I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

·      I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero’s rugged countenance and she’d betray her own father.

·      Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it’s too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

·      I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

·      No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

~~~

I’m just moving clouds today. Tomorrow, I’ll try mountains.

~~~

Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"

"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it’s not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"

"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"

~~~

A customer called our airline’s reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit card. My co-worker asked him, "Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card, sir?"
The customer replied, "V-I-S-A."

~~~

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

~~~

Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man named Steve. He would complain about everything. That day he went to their creek with his mule. He complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death. At the funeral, when all the men walked by the wife she shook her head yes and every time the women walked by she shook her head no. The minister asked ”Why are you shaking your head yes for men and no for women?” Her response was, ”The men would say how sorry they felt for me and I was saying, ‘Yes, I’ll be alright.’ When the women walked by, they were asking if the mule is for sale . . . "

~~~

Ohgreat,nowthedernspacebarwon’twork!

~~~

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out.

"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.

A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"

The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school."

~~~

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Melodie Beattie

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

Where will you be?

If things go wrong, don’t go with them.

Roger Babson

 

 

I find as I implement a more frugal lifestyle that I am learning more about myself. I have been especially looking forward to a cruise that I had booked for next spring since it was going to be my first trip on that cruise line and be on a ship that I wanted to sail. But as I started to feel remorse that I had to cancel the booking I realized that I already had cruised more times than almost anyone I know so I really had no right to complain. I felt the same as I reluctantly decided not to renew many of my memberships in cultural institutions, community organizations and the like. I decided if I was not making an active personal contribution to what they were doing they would not miss me. I unfortunately had to also prioritize my charitable contributions; I don’t have as much in total to contribute as I have in the past so something has to give. I want to give all I can and even more to those who are helping people through these hard times the others will just have to wait until another time.

Many of my friends and family are worried about the future and the possibility that they face even further losses in net worth. While I face the same possibility I am more fortunate than most since I usually don’t worry until I have to do something to solve the problem. So right now rather than worrying about what might happen I am dealing with what is happening and laying contingency plans for handling what’s ahead. I know it is hard not to worry but it can be done. Here are some thoughts that I found in an article by Beth Tabak that are worth considering.

1~ Know that you can be worry-free- What we think about is a choice. It seems hard to stop because we develop a habit. The brain likes short cuts, but we can change those patterns with conscious effort.

2~ Explore the source of your concern- Is there a limiting belief or perception in the way? Is it legitimate or an over active imagination? Is it warning you of impending danger or is it the reaction of an over active habitual thought pattern?

3A~ If legitimate, shift into action, then trust- Gather information/ resources on the situation. Prepare. Take action, mentally and physically, to make the best of the situation. Stay in a place of trust (in yourself, others, God) that you are capable of handling the situation. Get the help you need. Be open to see all choices. Talk with others.

3B~ If over exaggeration, shift to a new positive place- Shift habitual thought patterns by choosing to stay in the present, stay in a place of trust, or wait until there is good reason to worry. Take action to become prepared. Remember, thoughts are a choice.

4~ Follow Intuition- Once the chaos is out of your head pay attention to your intuition, inklings, gut feelings, etc. that are guiding you to make the choice you can feel good about.

There is way too much in life that we can’t change, we can either spend our time complaining and hoping for miracles or we can adapt and find a new and often better way of life. Oh and by the way I will not be joining the moaning and groaning choir this weekend, I’ll be in the hills listening to the sound of music, I hope to see you there.

~~~

If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times.

Dean Smith

~~~

More signs of the times:

Podiatrist’s Window:    Time wounds all heels.

Butcher’s window:       Let me meat your needs.

Used Car Lot:           Second Hand cars in first crash condition

Sign on Fence:          Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

Car Dealership:         The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.

Muffler Shop:           No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.

Hotel:                  Help!" We need inn – experienced people.

Butcher’s Window:       Pleased to meat you.

Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?

Sign in an office:      We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.

~~~

No one ever says "It’s only a game," when their team is winning.

~~~

"College Tidbits"

*"Eight long years of college." moaned the budding Yuppette. "And just who has it gotten me?"

* One of the professors at Vassar requested medical leave for the day. In the space listing reason for request, she put, "Perrier on the knee."

* Father: "Son, I’m very worried about you being at the bottom of your class."  Son: "Don’t fret Dad. They teach the same stuff to both ends."

* In a way, colleges & insane asylums are both mental institutions.  The major difference being you have to show some improvement to "graduate" from an asylum.

* A student comes back to the dorm & finds his roommate near tears. "What’s the matter, pal?" he asked.  "I wrote home for my parents to send money so that I could buy a laptop, and they sent me the laptop." he moaned.

*The college President hired a new Admissions Administrator.  At the conclusion of the interview he said, "Please don’t tell anyone what we’re paying you." "Don’t worry Sir." the new bureaucrat replied.  "I’m as ashamed of my salary as you are."

~~~

"If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.

Morris West

~~~

A North Carolina man, having bought several expensive cigars, insured them against… get this… fire. After he had smoked them, he then decided that he had a claim against the insurance company and filed. The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigar normally. The man sued. The judge stated that since the company had insured the cigars against fire, they were obligated to pay. After the man accepted payment for his claim, the company then had him arrested ….. for arson.

~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

~~~

The preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church.

"Good morning, Jonathan," the preacher said as he reached out to shake Joanthan’s hand.

As he was doing do he felt something in the palm of Jonathan’s hand. "What’s this?" the preacher asked.

"Money," said Jonathan with a big smile on his face, "It’s for you!"

"I don’t want to take your money, Jonathan," the preacher answered.

"I want you to have it," said Jonathan. After a short pause Jonathan continued, "My daddy says you’re the poorest preacher we ever had and I want to help you."

~~~

Half the people you know are below average.

~~~

The kids said:

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?

"Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other." (Judy, 8)

"Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife." (Tommy, 5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)

"Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)

~~~

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

Samuel Ullman

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

He did it again

I just got a call from the editor of the Daily who left this morning for a breakfast meeting at 6:30, he was supposed to come back but the meeting was with a good friend of his and took more than two hours. That meant he had to go directly to a funereal to say good bye to a different friend who recently passed away. He than made a stop and went to another meeting. Soon he’ll be going to a seminar on Afghanistan at a local college.

I hate it when he is so unreliable but I don’t get to complain. He told me to find a previous Daily that I liked and send it to you so I will. Hopefully tomorrow he’ll get his act in order.

Ray’s Computer

(The real brain in the outfit)

 

Reissue of November 18, 2003 Daily

 

 

Edward R. Murrow and Fred Friendly debuted "See It Now" on this day in 1951.  Viewers were treated to the extraordinary (for then) sight of live shots of the Statute of Liberty and the Golden Gate Bridge.  We are pretty blasé about such things, but the world shrunk a lot that year. I saw many of the See It Now shows at the time and they truly educated the people of America.

Murrow was one of the first journalists to provide news broadcasting with a sense of integrity and societal responsibility. In 1937 Murrow became head of the CBS European Bureau. He won acclaim as a news commentator during World War II (1939-1945), with his on-the-scene radio reporting. His live reports from London as it was being bombed are classic radio moments that made the horror of the war in Europe real to the people of America. He also was responsible for recruiting some of the great names in radio and television news. I am sorry so many of you missed the era when the news was seriously presented by journalists. We did not have sound bites, news was news, even if a reporter did not have a building to stand in front of in order to do a live report. News was serious business and not fun and frolic.

The See It Now documentaries were notable for their realism and bold approach to controversial issues. The show’s most notable episode aired in 1954, when Murrow exposed the abusive tactics of Senator Joseph McCarthy in McCarthy’s investigations of alleged Communists in the United States government. It was the beginning of the end for McCarthy.

Maybe the difference was that we all watched the same shows, you were lucky to have TV three stations in your city. We did not have thousands of choices, nor the ability to watch only those that agree with us. We shared the experience, we talked about what we saw, and often did something because of what we learned. Sure society had lots of problems of all kinds at the time, but we also had the ability to focus on important issues. I wish we did as well today.

~~~

There are, however, people in this world who seldom pick up a newspaper, people who, when watching television, sneer in displeasure and change channels at the first glimpse of an anchorperson. While such willfully uninformed citizens are rare, emerging from seclusion only to serve on juries in trials of great national significance, they do exist.

Joe Keenan

~~~

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation frequencies. It was his first time approaching a field during the night time. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said:  "Guess who?"

The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!"

~~~

Sound travels slowly.  Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers don’t reach them till they’re in their 40s.

~~~

Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"

"That’s quite all right," the woman replied.  "You look just like my fifth husband."

"Wow!" he said.  "How many times have you been married?"

"Four," she answered.

~~~

"What is popular isn’t always right, and what is right isn’t always popular."

~~~

It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Pete was beginning his preshot routine. As he was visualizing his upcoming shot, a voice came over the loudspeaker, "Would the gentleman on the ladies tee please back up to the men’s tee, please!"

Pete was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement, "Would the man on the women’s tee kindly back up to the men’s tee!"

Pete had had enough.

He yelled, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot!"

~~~

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought:  What good would that do?

~~~

The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he’d dreamed of working since a young boy.  He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Sub School.

The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, ‘sir’, it’s real simple.  Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface.  Divide that number by two. If the result doesn’t come out even, don’t open the hatch."

~~~

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.

~~~

Office Rules

1) If it rings, put it on hold.

2) If it clanks, call the repairman.

3) If it whistles, ignore it.

4) If it’s a friend, take a break.

5) If it’s the boss, look busy.

6) If it talks, take notes.

7) If it’s handwritten, type it.

8) If it’s typed, copy it.

9) If it’s copied, file it.

10) If it’s Friday, forget it!

~~~

"Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof."

John Kenneth Galbraith

~~~

Jack, a lawyer, lies dying with his partner of 40 years by his bedside. "Mike, I’ve got to confess. I’ve been sleeping with your wife for 30 years and I’m the father of your daughter. On top of that, I’ve been stealing from the firm for a decade."

"Relax," says Mike, "and don’t think another thing about it. I’m the one who put the poison in your martini."

~~~

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

~~~

The Judge admonished the witness, "Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?"

"I do."

"Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?"

"Sure," said the witness. "My side will win."

~~~

He who is outside the door has already got a good part of his journey behind him.

Dutch proverb

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

Wish Her Well

It’s a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.

J.K. Rowling, "The Hungarian Horntail," Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000

 

 

I spent a neat hour or so with a new college friend the other day. She soon will be off spending her last semester as an undergraduate in Asia. She has worked hard for years, is an outstanding student as well as an accomplished leader having excelled in sports and as an officer in many organizations. She is smart, vivacious and has a great personality. Unfortunately she is also carrying the weight of planning her future on her shoulders. She, like too many other students, is burdened with student loans and societies definition of accomplishment. She has never really stoped to take a breather from her investment in excellence.

My friend definitely wants to go to graduate school but she is not sure what she really wants to do after that. She is so busy being outstanding that I fear she has not had enough time to be herself. She reminds me of so many of us who are always so busy doing what must be done to meet a deadline or to complete an activity that we don’t give take time to stop and invest in ourselves.

My fantasy is that this bright young student will take the pressure off herself and stop, maybe even for a semester or two, in order to sit along life’s road and learn what her heart is telling her. I am hoping that she invests in a path that will lead to happiness and not just income and title. I would not be so presumptuous to think that I have the answers but I pray that she finds the road that is best for her without being distracted by the need to become what others think she should be.

As I thought about my young friend I thought about how so many of us fill our days with what seems important that really isn’t. Here is what the fabulous Gretchen Rubin posted recently that reminded me again that many things I do are really not worth the time.

Tips for what you DON’T have to do and what you DO have to do. Don’t confuse what you must do with what you choose to do. For example:

You don’t have to carry around a bottle of water.

You don’t have to finish a magazine before you throw it away.

You don’t have to dress to express your individuality.

You don’t have to drink wine with dinner.

You don’t have to carry a wallet.

You don’t have to watch reality TV.

You don’t have to take a shower every day.

You don’t have to check your email every minute.

You don’t have to get a manicure.

You don’t have to answer your phone.

You don’t have to use hair conditioner.

You don’t have to send out holiday cards.

You don’t have to read or watch crime reports.

You don’t have to keep up with sports news or celebrity gossip.

You don’t have to have house plants.

You don’t have to wear uncomfortable shoes.

You do have to keep some cash around at all times.

You do have to call when you’re going to be late.

You do have to remember the birthdays of your immediate family.

You do have to back up your computer files.

You do have to exercise regularly.

You do have to keep a cache of toilet paper in the house.

You do have to keep your phone charged.

You do have to keep a spare key.

~~~

Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

Carl Sandburg

~~~

A lady lost her purse in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmm, that’s funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward."

~~~

Remember, once you get over the hill, you’ll begin to pick up speed.

~~~

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.

"Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?"

"I don’t know," Sid replied. "Why don’t we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Al said, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"

"I don’t know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied and he went into the kitchen.

He quickly returned and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."

"Are you sure?" Al asked.

"I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange jews, prune jews, tomato jews and grape jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese jews!"

~~~

To err is human—to blame it on a computer is even more so.

~~~

She says that:

"Hey Marco! Is it true you have a new girlfriend?" I quizzed.

"Yeah, it’s true" he mumbled.

"Hey, what’s the matter?"  I asked.

"Well, it’s my new girlfriend," he said.

"Oh yeah?  What’s the problem?"

"Well I asked her if she could learn to love me," he replied.

"Yeah…and?" I pried further. "and she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education.

~~~

Find out what you don’t do well and don’t do it.

~~~

The state trooper pulled Mr. Schwarz over and, after inspecting his license and registration, informed the motorist that he was going to have to spend the night in jail.

"What’s the charge?  Mr. Schwarz demanded.

"None," replied the officer.  "It’s all part of the service."

~~~

"Whether it’s the best of times, or the worst of times, it’s the only time you’ve got."

Art Buchwald

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

Farewell

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Kahlil Gibran

 

 

It has not been an easy week. It is not so much that I have been busy or that 40% of my life savings seems to be hidden somewhere on Wall Street. No it is the fact that I lost an old friend and a good friends wife passed away after a long illness.

My one friend died peacefully in his sleep. While he was in his mid seventies I no longer consider that old age so when it happened I was taken aback. When I read my friends obituary today I learned that he had done many more things than I knew he had. I hadn’t seen him for sometime but he use to be a fellow member of my Kiwanis Club and I had plenty of opportunity to get to know him better but now it is too late. I am sure he had many stories he could have shared and experiences that I would have enjoyed hearing about. I know a year ago or so I wrote about how much we miss by not stopping and taking the time to know more about the people we meet, especially those that we see often. Unfortunately too often I am guilty of taking too many people for granted and gloss over my failure by rationalizing not learning more because I am too busy. That is a sad mistake for I know that some of the best things in my life is the bond that I have built with others by just stopping and caring.

 

My friend’s wife suffered a long illness before finally finding peace. She was a gracious lady always quick to smile whenever we met. She told me once in awhile that she enjoyed our Daily and that always pleased me for it was written for her and my other friends. What saddens me most is that this kind and caring person had to carry so much pain and agony for so long. I have never been very good at sharing my feelings with those that have just lost a loved one; certainly it would be presumptuous of me to tell them I know how they feel. Still I always feel a hurt and a feeling of helplessness when I know some one is in pain or that someone is gone forever leaving only memories and far too often words I never said that were never heard.

~~~

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.

~~~

I think both of these departed friends would be disappointed in me if I did not add our usual attempt at humor so for them I offer today’s daily.

~~~

"The greatest mistake you can make is to be afraid of making one."

~~ Elbert Hubbard ~~

~~~

A few housewives were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands. One lady said "My husband just won’t go to church with me, I think he’s going to go to hell." This led to talk around the table and it was generally agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands were going to end up in hell.

So, then the housewives started speculating about themselves. One woman said "I try to be good – I’m sure I’ll make it to Heaven." Another one said "No, I did this bad thing, I won’t make it." So, then they noticed that one of the ladies wasn’t saying anything. And they looked at her and said "You’re such a nice lady, surely you’re going to Heaven…?"

She says "No, first thing in the morning, I’m going to buy me a ticket straight to hell!" They were shocked and asked why. "Well, you don’t expect me to live in a world without men, do you??!?"

~~~

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

~~~

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair – there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.

"Ummm, yeah…" the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"

~~~

A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."

~~~

When a three-year-old opened a birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.

He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

His Mother was not so pleased. She turned to Grandmom and said, "I’m surprised at you.

Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"

Grandmom smiled and then replied, "I remember."

~~~

Eschew obfuscation.

~~~

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath. "You scared us half to death — we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

~~~

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

~~~

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call.

Before long their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, ‘OK, lets get out and get him.’

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, ‘The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?’

The guy in the front says, ‘Well, I’m going to start nibbling grass, but you’d better brace yourself!’

~~~

A lady inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

~~~

To help a friend lose weight, I told her she should switch to lower fat foods, including skim milk.

When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite awhile, until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay.

"Sure, it’s fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. "Why do you ask?"

The daughter explained, "Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired six months ago!"

~~~

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

Lucky?

“The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.”

Richard Moss

 

 

My life has really been full so far this week. New friends, new opportunities for service, a number of new things learned and a shortage of hours in the day and today is going on to be more of the same. What I am about to do is rummage through some old Dailies to see if I Can find some pearls of wisdom that I have forgotten. I’ll share what I find as I am hoping whatever it is will be better than what I might create today. So here goes, wish us luck.

~~~

I had the good fortune to hear an old acquaintance speak about luck at a meeting I attended this morning. He made many points about how we can improve our luck. His point that struck me the most was — pay attention and you might become lucky enough to recognize opportunity when you see it.

I could especially relate to how we are often so committed to what we want to say to someone that we look for the opportunity to interrupt and say what we want him to hear, too busy too even hear what is being said to us. While hopefully none of us drop out quite that far I would suspect too many of us are so concerned about our ability to impress or sell that we miss hearing something that would bring us together. Is it really luck that some find success more often than others or is it due in part to the winners paying attention? In my case I have found feeding back to the speaker my understanding of what they said does three things:

1.         The speaker can correct me if I got what was said wrong.

2.         If I often miss what is being said I can work to become more attentive.

3.         And probably most important of all when we agree on what was said we can move forward together to what might be unsaid otherwise.

Another of his points was to get out of our ruts. We can drive home via a different route on occasion, we can do things we have never done before and understand the value of keeping our mind open to alternatives. We will never break new ground if we never move out of our comfort zone. And I would add, don’t hibernate. Too many of us get so comfortable in the status quo that the world passes us by without our even noticing. When that happens, more often than not, we wonder why others are so much luckier than we are.

His last lesson was telling us not to get hung up on fairness. While we should always be fair we need to understand that the world often isn’t. Too many of us waste time complaining about our bad luck that was the result of being treated unfairly. We can spend time agonizing about it or even striking out, but while we are the “lucky” ones will have picked themselves up brushed themselves off and moved on. Bottom line, if you want to be lucky you can be, if you want an excuse for failure you can chalk it up to bad luck, but trust me few will lend a sympathetic ear.

2003

~~~

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

Seneca

~~~

Andy Rooney’s tips for telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work !!

(1) The three little words are: "Hold On, Please…"

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt. Then when you eventually hear the phone company’s "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!

(3) Junk Mail Help:

When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back. It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before! the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

~~~

The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.

~~~

Speaking of luck, she said: I was shopping with my husband at a local supermarket and suddenly couldn’t find him. "I’ve lost my husband!" I muttered slightly louder than was necessary.

Then I heard a woman’s voice from the next aisle: "Some people have all the luck."

~~~

In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu, George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands

~~~

He said: A client brought a litter of golden retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog’s head when I had finished.

After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup’s head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I didn’t know they had to be baptized."

~~~

You know you’re growing older when … You begin to realize that your parents were right, after all!

~~~

I’m in a hurry today. I have to answer the email I got from Mrs. Moobooro Nambito, who is the wife of a prominent politician in some African country. She just so happens to need help funneling tens of millions of dollars that her husband gave her to hide–right before the populace tore him to shreds because he stole all their money and resources.  

Anyway, she needs help embezzling the funds to the States and is willing to pay handsomely anyone who lets her use their bank account. This is going to be the easiest money I ever made!  

~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

~~~

The other day, I had to make a call to the telephone company. Something was wrong with my bill. I dialed the number listed, and was astonished. I got the strangest recording. It said, "You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy. Please hang up and redial."

~~~

Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.

R.E. Shay

~~~

When his eyes began to give him trouble, a man went to a Prague ophthalmologist. The doctor showed the patient the eye chart, displaying the letters CVKPNWXSCZ.  

"Can you read that?" the doctor asked.  

"Can I read it?" the Czech replied. "I dated his sister."  

~~~

Luck is when opportunity knocks and you answer.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

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