Ray's musings and humor

Archive for January, 2021

What do you think?

Ray’s Daily

January 25, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

Andre Gide

I have a busy morning so another Daily from yeateryear.

Ray’s Daily first published on January 25, 2010

I don’t know what it is but it seems like too many folks have lost their ability to restrain themselves and resort to vitriol and even hate to the point they become someone other than themselves. When people become so passionate in their arguments that they no longer care to hear alternate points of view they often ignore fact and truth and often come off as ignorant and unreasonable.

I wonder sometimes if there is too much information and that issues are so complex that they become too hard to deal with. When that happens it is easy to become vulnerable and mislead by what sounds right rather than what is right. I told someone the other day that we probably need better criteria for the selection of the people we trust to the point that we let them do our thinking for us. Sadly too many talking heads talk as if they have expertise but in truth only select information to communicate that agrees with their own point of view, which as often as not is slanted. I know that when we stridently defend questionable information we lose the respect of those around us.

So what do we do, do we give up and hide our head in the sand and just ignore the world around us or do we examine ourselves and establish some ground rules for dealing with the world. In my case I know I am often not smart enough to make definitive statements. If in fact something I don’t understand is important enough to consider I need to either decide to trust others smarter than me or investigate the subject so I am informed enough to make intelligent comment.

The key is to know ourselves, our limits and what is important. When we do we can make sure that what we do and how we spend our time is consistent with who we are and who we wish to be.

~~~

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.

Sir Winston Churchill

~~~

You know IT’S YOUR LAST DAY AT WORK WHEN…

You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?” you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox.

A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one’s your turn”. Your boss is standing behind you. It’s his wife.

While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard.  It shorts out.

You return from a week’s vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.

You take a “sick” day. The next morning the boss asks you, “So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?”.

You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. Your underwear is missing. You’re in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.

~~~

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

~~~

He said I am glad to be a guy because:

Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.

Flowers fix everything.

You never have to worry about other people’s feelings.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

~~~

I finally got my head together and my body fell apart.

~~~

A guy tells his doctor, “I am under a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people and insulting them. You gotta help me, doctor!”

The doctor says, “Tell me about your problem.”

The guy looks at him and yells, “I just did YOU STUPID S.O.B.!”

~~~

The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best and therefore, never scrutinize or question.

Stephen Jay Gould

~~~

“Can people predict the future with cards?” said one little boy to another.

“My mother can,” said the other boy.

“Really?”

“Yes, she takes one look at my report card and can tell me exactly what will happen when my Dad gets home.”

~~~

“Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.” 

Ogden Nash

~~~

A man was standing first in line for tickets from those who had canceled their reservations to a sold-out play. The manager said he had two together, and pointed to the two women behind the man. “You wouldn’t want to come between Mother and daughter, would you?”

The man turned around, and replied, “No. I did that once, and regretted it right up until the divorce.”

~~~

She said: Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

~~~

“If I ever see a falling star, I’m going to use my wish to wish that it had never fallen in the first place. If I’m lucky, that will throw the entire universe into a logic loop and while everyone is busy attending to that, I’ll skip work the next day.”

Abhishek Gami

~~~

At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”

~~~

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain

~~~

Mr. Smith patted his daughter’s hand fondly, and told her, “Your young man told me today he wanted you as a bride, and I gave my consent.”

Oh, Papa,” gushed the daughter, “it’s going to be so hard leaving mother.”

“I understand perfectly, my dear,” beamed Mr.  Smith. “You can just take her with you.”

~~~

Wealthy people miss one of life’s greatest thrills. Making the last car payment.

~~~

Dear Lord,

So far today, Lord, I’ve done alright. I haven’t gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over-indulgent. I’m very thankful for that.

But in a few minutes, Lord, I’m going to get out of bed. And from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot more help.

Amen

~~~

Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. [paraphrased]

BUDDHA

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

The Good Life

Ray’s Daily

January 22, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“I think being in love with life is a key to eternal youth.”

Doug Hutchison

It has sure been a difficult year for most of us, my fear is that many folks have given up on life. There is hope for the future and failing to live as positively as we can now only will make things worse. Even during these difficult times we have the power to make our lives worthwhile.

Years ago Mark Twain offered tips on how to live the good life. They are especially valid today. I have listed them below with some comments made by Henrik Edberg.

Mark Twain’s Top 9 Tips for Living A Good Life

1. Approve of yourself. – “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind. – “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

3. Lighten up and have some fun. – “Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

4. Let go of anger. – “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

5. Release yourself from entitlement. – “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing.It was here first.”

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions. – “A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

What other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want. – “Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.” What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good. – “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people.

9. Do what you want to do. – “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

~~~

“You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.”

Walter Hagen

~~~

Harold was an old man, he was sick, and he was in the hospital.  There was one young nurse that just drove him crazy.  Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child.  She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for a bath, or are we hungry?”

Old Harold had had enough of this particular nurse.  One day, Old Harold had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his bed side stand.  He had been given a Urine Bottle to fill for testing. The juice was apple juice.  So…..  you know where the juice went. The nurse came in a little later and picked up the urine bottle.  She looks at it.  “My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today…..”

At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand, pops off the top, and drinks it down, saying, “Well, I’ll run it through again, and maybe I can filter it better this time.”

The nurse fainted……  Old Harold just smiled

~~~

Only a mediocre person is ever at their best.

~~~

A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother, “Who’s this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?”

“That’s your father.”

“Then who’s that old bald-headed fat man who lives with us now?”

~~~

WHAT HE SAYS / WHAT HE MEANS **

** “I’m going fishing.” – Really means: “I’m going to stand by a stream with a stick in my hand all day, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

** “It’s a guy thing.” – Really means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

** “Can I help with dinner?” – Really means: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”

** “Uh-huh.” “Sure, honey.” “Yes, dear.” – Really means: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

** “It would take too long to explain.” – Really means: “I have no idea how it works.”

** “We’re going to be late.” – Really means: “Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.”

** “Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.” – Really means: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

** “That’s interesting, dear.” – Really means: “Are you still talking?”

** “Hey, I’ve got my reasons for what I’m doing.” – Really means: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”

** “I can’t find it.” – Really means: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

** “You know I could never love anyone else.” – Really means: “I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse.”

** “You look terrific.” – Really means: “Please don’t try on one more outfit. I’m starving.”

** “I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are.” – Really means: “No one will ever see us alive again.”

~~~

All food is Fat-Free – if you don’t eat it.

~~~

A feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a Hassidic elderly Jewish man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, “Here’s another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat,” so she pushes him back onto the seat.

A few minutes later, the elderly man tries to get up again. She is still insulted so she refuses to let him up again.

Finally, the old Jewish man says, “Look, lady, trouble I don’t want, but you’ve got to let me get up….. I’m twelve blocks past my stop already!”

~~~

Never leave your wife’s anniversary present in a Wal-Mart bag.

~~~

SCHIZOPHRENIA – Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY – We Three Kings Disoriented Are.

DEMENTIA – I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas.

NARCISSISTIC – Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)

PARANOIA – Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.

PERSONALITY DISORDER – You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I’ll tell you why.

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY – Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire.

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

~~~

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

Maya Angelou

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Thanks for all you do

Ray’s Daily

January 21, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well”

Voltaire

Ray’s Daily first published on January 21, 2009

I had breakfast with a friend the other day who heads a major arts organization. He, like others with similar responsibilities has the job of leading and motivating a group of artists on the performing side and administrators on the business side. Each group is dependent on the other for the organization to succeed and yet as is so often the case many do not understand or place value on the role of others in the organization. Sadly when we don’t understand or place value on the work of others we have a tendency to fall back on status, seniority, and many times a false sense of superiority. Fortunately my friend has the skill and temperament to make sure everyone is recognized and that their work is valued. In my experience the best way to bring people together is to publicly appreciate what they do so all can see how winning comes from the joint effort of good people.

If you are like I am you find it too easy to take for granted those who perform with competence day after day, people who are always there and who always make our lives just a little bit easier. I need to frequently stop and recommit myself to recognize the things that people do and let them know that I appreciate them. When I do let people know that I value them I find that they respond positively to knowing that I appreciate what they do. Unfortunately I find many, if not more people seem to concentrate on finding fault than on recognizing the good in others.

Here is what personal coach Carolyn B. Ellis suggests we can do to reap the rewards that come from appreciating others:

Appreciation is an underutilized yet hugely valuable ingredient in successful relationships. Wondering how to get into the groove of appreciation? Here are the seven strategies I call the “Appreciation A-B-Cs” to get you off to a great start. Each of these strategies is simple and effective, whether you’re in a relationship or not.

1. Keep Your Appreciation Simple. — Your verbal statements of appreciation to another don’t have to be fancy or long. Try a simple “I appreciate you for ____…” to get you started.

2. Speak from Your Heart, not Your Head. — Don’t think too much! Your most effective guide is your heart, not your head. Take a moment to breathe, visualize your heart, and let the words flow from there.

3. Keep It Up. — Expressing appreciation on a regular basis is more effective than going on a binge one day and then dropping into radio silence for the next two weeks. Set some simple goals like expressing one heart-felt appreciation to your partner each day. Giving and receiving appreciation may feel awkward initially, just like a muscle that hasn’t been called upon for a while. Simply keep up your efforts and soon it’ll become a natural and effortless habit.

4. Cover All the Bases. — Once you start looking, there are so many things you will realize you appreciate in the people in your life! Look at what they do, how they communicate, how they look, how you relate to each other. Look for things to appreciate and you’ll start to find them.

5. Don’t Let Just Words Do the Talking. — Appreciation doesn’t always need to be verbal. Play with nonverbal appreciation as well, such as leaving unexpected notes in lunch bags or briefcases, flowers, and other small acts of kindness.

6. Who to Appreciate. — Loved ones, family, and friends are clear candidates for receiving appreciation. How about your coworkers or employees? Why not expand your horizons to include your hairdresser or the check-out clerk at the grocery store? Appreciate your home, the city you live in, or your health. Expanding your list of whom and what you appreciate will help you to live in an “attitude of gratitude,” which will help you keep centered and open, better able to take on any challenges that might still be in front of you.

7. Appreciate Yourself. — Do you ever find yourself in need of appreciation? I always encourage my clients to start by appreciating themselves first. It’s amazing what wonders doing 10 written self-appreciations every day can do for your spirit!

~~~

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read.

Mark Twain

~~~

You’ve seen those ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts of contraptions. Well, there’s no need to invest in fancy equipment. If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything you need to get in shape now!!! The following exercises can be done anywhere, anytime.

Inner Thighs: Place the dog’s favorite toy between thighs Press tighter than the dog can pull. Do not attempt bare legged – dogs who favor shortcuts to success will just dig the toy out. You could be damaged.

Upper Body Strength: Lift the dog – off the couch, off the bed, out of the flower bed. Repeat, repeat, repeat. As the dog ages, this exercise is reversed onto the couch, onto the bed, into the car and so on.

Balance and Coordination, Exercise 1: Remove your puppy from unsuitable tight places. If they’re too small for him, they’re certainly too small for you. Do it anyway!

Balance and Coordination, Exercise 2: Practice not falling when your dog bounds across the full length of the room, sails through the air, and slams both front paws into your chest.

Balance and Coordination, Exercise 3: (for use with multiple dogs) Remove all dogs from lap and answer the phone before it stops ringing.

Upper Arms: Throw the ball. Throw the squeaky toy. Throw the Frisbee. Repeat until nauseous.

Upper Arms: (alternate) Tug the rope. Tug the pull toy. Tug the sock. Repeat until your shoulder is dislocated or the dog gives up (we all know which comes first).

Hand Coordination: Remove foreign object from dog’s locked jaw. This exercise is especially popular with puppy owners. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Remember, this is a timed exercise. Movements must be quick and precise (think concert pianist) to prevent trips to the vet, which only offer the minimal exercise benefit of jaw firming clenches.

Calves: After the dog has worn out the rest of your body, hang a circular toy on your ankle and let the dog tug while you tug back. WARNING: This is feasible only for those with strong bones and small dogs.

~~~

If some people said what they thought, they’d be speechless.

~~~

At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

“Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”

Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single!”

~~~

“It is in the shelter of each other that the people live.”

Irish Proverb

~~~

She said:

Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay, I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor. “I’m here to do my postnatal exercises,” I said.

The instructor gave me an appraising look. “How old is your baby?”

“Twenty-six,” I replied.

~~~

“The only reason that I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.”

Erma Bombeck

~~~

To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia game with the passengers. They asked us to guess the total number of years the three of them had worked for the airlines. After an attendant collected our estimates, we heard the announcement: “The correct answer is 26 years. For the two people who came closest with 28 years, we have prizes. And for the passenger in seat 12F who guessed 85 years, would you please step off the plane once we are airborne?”

~~~

“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”

Mother Teresa

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Let’s Get Happy

Ray’s Daily

January 20, 2021

http://rats-daily.com

Forget your troubles and just get happy.

Ted Koehler

I think one of the best revelations in ones life is that most of the things that bother us are not worth agonizing over. The difficulty is that we often place too much importance on our problems and let them linger. I have learned that if there are events in my life that I can’t change there is little use in letting them get me down.

It is not easy to forget your troubles but hanging on to their memories just makes things worse. The following story reminds us that we must tend to our mental garden if we are going to maximize our happiness.

Isn’t it amazing how you never have to water your weeds or nurture them and they still give you an unwanted crop? I can remember as a young boy growing up in Santa Cruz, California my grandfather showed me how to dig up this pesky weed called Bermuda grass. It was terrible stuff and it would really spread if you didn’t get it out by the roots.

That was then. But more recently when my wife and I bought our first home about 8 years ago; guess what I had to deal with? If you said weeds, you are correct. There was this certain patch of weeds that was similar to the Bermuda grass. In other words, just as invasive.

After getting the inside of our home settled, it was time to work on the outside. On my hands and knees I vigorously attacked the weeds with a small hand trowel getting each one out by the roots. Spring after, spring that was my ritual.

Just this Spring I realized that one particular weed was no longer prevalent but another one was in full force. So again, I got down on my hands and knees and got to work ridding them from my yard. When I was finished, my yard was better off.

What hidden message is this true story purveying? Sometimes our life can be oh so similar. Yes, we all have weeds in our life. These weeds can be challenges, setbacks, negative beliefs, or naysayers, and the list can go on and on.

The solution is when dealing with these weeds of life is to get to the root of it and remove them one by one and eventually you will conquer this round. And when another crop of weeds shows up, deal with them directly before they spread, because now that you know what to do with them by getting to the root of it, it will give you more courage and wisdom the next time a problem crops up.

You could say we all need weeds in our life to challenge us to grow. Once you know how to handle the weeds in your yard to make it beautiful – so too will your life be.

Written by Tony Masiello

~~~

Never worry about anything that is past. Charge it up to experience and forget the trouble. There are always plenty of troubles ahead, so don’t turn and look back on any behind you.

Herbert Hoover

~~~

MEMO TO ALL EMS PERSONNEL

To: All EMS Personnel From: Chief of Operations

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.

1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

2) Stroke patients are NOT “Charlie Carrots.” Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or “hamburger helper.” Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like “negative vehicle to vehicle interface” or “terminal deceleration syndrome.”

4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not “glow worms.”

5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered “pharmaceutically gifted.”

6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not “trans-occipital implants.”

7) The homeless are not “urban outdoorsmen,” nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a “PVC Challenge.”

8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being “paws up,” ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entries.

~~~

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

~~~

My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots.

“Tina,” I commented, “I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?”

“At the store,” she answered.

“Which one?” I asked.

She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, “Both of them!”

~~~

In the long run you will receive more from life doing the job you enjoy than you will ever earn in money from a job you loathe.

Terry L. Mayfield

~~~

A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, “I don’t really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere with them.”

~~~

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

~~~

My sister brought her daughter a really nice Spinet Piano for her birthday.

A few weeks later, I asked my sister how her daughter was doing.

“Oh,” she said, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.”

“How come?” I asked.

“Well,” my sister answered, “because with a clarinet, she can’t sing….”

~~~

What would it take for you to forget all your troubles? Are you willing to simply forget all your troubles today? When you remove your attention from a problem, it gets bored and moves away!

Iyanla Vanzant

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

The Good Life

Ray’s Daily

January 19, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Rule your mind with serenity rather than with force and manipulation.”

Laozi

I think a lot of the turmoil and anger these days is that we become so entrenched in our beliefs that we have lost our willingness to admit we may be wrong. The information silos today allow us to choose what confirms our beliefs without the need to learn all the facts not just the ones that support what we believe.

I think an open mind allows us to learn to live with the realities of a complex society while tolerating our differences. I know I have come to where I appreciate tranquility without chaos.

Serenity

Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.

A person becomes calm in the measure that one understands themselves as a thought evolved being, for such knowledge necessitates the understanding of others as the result of thought, and as one develops a right understanding, and sees more and more clearly the internal relations of things by the action of cause and effect, one ceases to fuss and fume and worry and grieve, and remains poised, steadfast, serene.

The calm person, having learned how to govern themselves, knows how to adapt themselves to others; and they, in turn, reverence their spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of them and rely upon them. The more tranquil a person becomes, the greater is their success, their influence, their power for good. Even the ordinary trader will find their business prosperity increase as one develops a greater self control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a person whose demeanor is strongly equable.

The strong, calm person is always loved and revered. They are like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm. That exquisite poise of character which we call serenity is the last lesson of culture; it is the flowering of life, the fruitage of the soul. It is precious as wisdom, more to be desired than gold, than even fine gold. How insignificant mere money seeking looks in comparison with a serene life – a life that dwells in the ocean of truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of tempests, in the eternal calm!

How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood! It is a question whether the great majority of people do not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control flow few people we meet in life who are well-balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character!

Written by James Allen

~~~

“Learn to be silent. Let your mind listen and absorb.”

Pythagorus

~~~

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continued playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, so, who is going to tell his wife?” They draw straws. Goldberg picks the short one.

They tell him to use good judgment, be discreet, and be gentle.. Don’t make a bad situation any worse. “Discreet? I’ll be the most discreet person you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Just leave it to me.” Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment, and knocks on the door.

The wife answers and asks what he wants. Goldberg declares, “Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home.”

“TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!” she yells.

“I’ll go tell him,” says Goldberg.

~~~

What’s the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men?

Wife saying she wants to talk to him.

~~~

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, “We were the first in space!”

The American said, “We were the first on the moon!”

The Blonde said, “So what, we’re going to be the first on the sun!”

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

“You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

A man was waiting at the train station.  The train was due at 5:23 PM. Finally, it rolled into the station at 6:07 PM.

~~~

What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?

No matter what, somebody’s fixin’ to lose a trailer.

~~~

“You’re LATE,” the man said to the conductor.  “What’s the use of having a schedule if you’re going to be late anyway?”

The Conductor looked at him, and said, “Sir, if we didn’t have a schedule, how on earth would you realize what time you were supposed to be at the station?  And how would you know that we were late?”

~~~

“Do Not Disturb signs should be written in the language of the hotel maids.”

Tim Bedore

~~~

A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle.

“Can you imagine,” he demanded, “people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?”

When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, “What I’ve been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast.”

~~~

Horse sense is what a horse has that keeps it from betting on people.

~~~

“If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.”

Marvin Gaye

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Thank You Stranger

Ray’s Daily

January 18, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.”

Jackie Chan

It is hard for some of us as we isolate ourselves to avoid infection. I know I miss getting out these days. Fortunately I live in a senior residence community loaded with friendly residents and a caring staff.

My housekeeper visits weekly to change linens, clean and most of all to brighten my day. I have many encounters with food servers and other members of our residence staff members and I am greatful for what they so often do to help me enjoy my day, I just wish I knew rhem all better.

Here is a piece that mentions many of the little things that mean so much, not just as a recipient but also as a reminder that I need to be that stranger as well.

Dear Stranger, I’m Glad We Met.

You make my coffee every morning and draw a smiley face on my cup.

You hold the door open for me and say, “After you.”

I bet your heart is as beautiful as your smile.

You let me cut in front of you at the grocery store.

I drop a bag of candy and you pick it up.

You speak to me through a mask, engaging in muffled conversation.

You wave at me from your window like Queen Elizabeth.

You have dinner with me as we sit alone at a bar.

You grab my hand as the plane lands.

You hug me briefly.

You give me a high five.

You sign for me to help you.

You use an iPad to say hello.

You give me a rock that says Love on it.

I sit across from you on a bus in NYC.

You scoot over so I can sit down.

I sit in your office.

I teach you online.

We wish each other good luck before an exam.

I speak to you on the phone.

You sit on the floor next to me in Barnes and Noble, scanning the psychology section.

I walk next to you with our signs.

Your words resonate with me.

I think I’ve seen you before.

Yes, I made you a sandwich once.

We dance Forrô.

I can hear your heart.

It’s just as beautiful as your smile.

I keep walking.

I think I’m alone.

And then I see you again.

I may never learn your name, but please know I’m glad we met.

Rebecca Donaldson

~~~

“Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are.”

Harold S. Kushner

~~~

Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, young Lora said unhappily, “Mom, do you realize some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that?”

The woman shot her an angry look, “Lora, how dare you talk about your father like that!”

~~~

I was carpooling with my friend Craig, he noticed that the “Check oil” light was on. He pulled into the gas station, got out of the car, opened the hood, checked the engine oil, closed the hood, then got back into the car. “Can we make a quick stop?” He asked.

“Sure,” I replied, “what did you need to do?”

“I need to stop by the auto parts place to get a longer dipstick?”

“What do you need a longer one for?” I enquired.

“Because the one I got isn’t long enough to reach the oil!”

~~~

“Everybody keeps saying that women are smarter than men, but did you ever see a man wearing a shirt that buttons down the back?”

~~~

A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme?'” she asked. 

“Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children.” 

“Is that a record?” she inquired, puzzled in her turn. 

“I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get.” 

~~~

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

~~~

A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through the big book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the book several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, “You know, I can’t see that you did anything really good in your life, but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you’re in.”

The guy thinks for a moment and says, “Well, there was the time when I was driving down the highway and I saw a group of biker guys gathered around this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, there were about 20 of ’em tormenting this girl.” “Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the gang formed a circle around me. So, I ripped the leader’s chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, ‘Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! You’re all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'”

St. Peter, impressed, says, “Really? When did this happen?”

“Oh, about two minutes ago.”

~~~

My childhood was rough. Once for my birthday my old man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, “I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?” 

“Why don’t you ask the rabbi?” says Morris. 

Cecil sees Rabbi Golden and asks, “Rabbi, is it permissible for me to smoke while I pray?” 

“No, you may not. That’s utter disrespect to our religion and traditions!” quickly answers the rabbi. 

Cecil goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Rabbi told him. 

“I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.” 

Morris goes over to the rabbi and asks, “Rabbi, will it be ok if I pray while I smoke?” 

To which Rabbi Golden eagerly replies, “By all means, my good man. By all means.” 

~~~

“Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”

Barbara De Angelis

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

What do you collect?

Ray’s Daily

January 15, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal.”

I have a full day today so here is favorite Daily from the past

Ray’s Daily first published on January 15, 2007

It seems to me that all of us are collectors and just like other collectors we get to decide what we will secure, save, and value, we also get to choose what we will reject. Today I had coffee with a friend that shared with me that she just collected the positive attributes of the people she meets and has no interest in remembering their failings. I think as we live our lives we can collect remembrances of good times or bad. A little of both is probably good, but I’ll tell you for me storing fond memories that I can recall every once in awhile is one of my life’s great pleasures. I honestly believe that that our memories lay the foundation each day yet to be lived. Look for and collect the good memories and you will find more. Look for and collect the bad and you will continue to find more of the same.Here are some excerpts from an article I read recently that I thought you might like.

While there’s everything to be said for living a life of integrity and goodness, balance and moderation, service and love — I want to talk about life as CELEBRATION. As we carry out the duties of the day, we can have fun with sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. There’s a whole array of possibilities for living with pleasurable appreciation. Don’t let those opportunities slip by. Regret, I’m here to tell you, is one mangy, ill-tempered dog that’s best kept outdoors.

How many of us are able to live fully, enriching our days with satisfying experiences, accumulating warm memories that will keep through the winter of our lives? We all can pull from our pasts those special events once embraced and wonderfully absorbed, then permanently recorded for future delightful replay. 

Anyone can be miserable — there’s no talent in that. Anyone can live a dull and unimaginative life. Whether proactively or by opportunity, our task — should we choose to accept it — is to live with gusto. As we proceed through life, let us do so with playful deliberation, with a twinkle in our eyes and a bounce in our steps. We need to relish the moments we’ve been given. Are we up to the challenge?

~~~

“Who is the happiest of men?

He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though t’were his own.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, “Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age.”

~~~

Why must the phrase, “It is none of my business,” always be followed by the word “but”?

~~~

An evangelist had a great revival camp going. One night he was up in front of a large audience, speaking on imperfection. He asked his audience towards the end, “Has anyone ever known anyone who has come CLOSE to the perfection of our lord, Jesus Christ?” Nobody, of course raised their hand. So he issued the question again. “Anybody! Has ANYONE ever known that kind of perfection?”

Finally a guy in the back raised his hand, so of course he was asked to stand up. “Tell us. Tell us who you knew who was so close to perfection.”

The man responded, “My wife’s first husband.”

~~~

People with humility don’t think less of themselves, they just think of themselves less.

Ken Blanchard

~~~

It is forty below zero one winter night in Alaska. A guy is drinking at his local saloon and the bartender says to him, “You owe me quite a bit on your tab.”

“Sorry,” says the guy, “I’m flat broke this week.”

“That’s okay,” says the bartender. “I’ll just write your name and the amount you owe me right here on the wall.”

“But,” says the guy, “I don’t want any of my friends to see that.”

“They won’t,” says the bartender. “I’ll just hang your parka over it until it’s paid.”

~~~

Life is short and it’s up to you to make it sweet.

Sarah Louise Delany

~~~

On my first day of college, I took a front row seat in my literature course.

The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. He ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book, and began, “Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook…”

I was working feverishly to get down all the names, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

The student behind me whispered, “He’s just taking attendance!”

~~~

Do you ever notice that every time you find an answer, the question changes?

~~~

Tech support: “Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”

Customer:  I don’t have a P.

Tech support:  On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer:  What do you mean?

Tech support:  “P”…..on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer:  I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

~~~

Everyone thinks I’m psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.”

~~~

It doesn’t hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

“Well,” said the director, “We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No” said the director, “A normal person would pull the plug … Do you want a room with or without a view?”

~~~

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

~~~

The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, “Where do you want to go?”

“Heaven!” they all piped up.

“And what do you have to be to get there?”

“Dead!”

~~~

“Let a joy keep you.

Reach out your hands and take it when it runs by.”

Carl Sandburg

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Thanks Again for the Memories

Ray’s Daily

January 14, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Appreciate what you have, where you are and who you are with in this moment

Tony Clark

I am afraid my wifes dementia seems to be worsening. I miss getting to see her as we are still restricting visitors due to the virus. I am having some hearing problems and my eyesight is limited due to my macular degeneration. But through it all I retain the warm memories provided me by so many over the years, I am finding that I need to stay focused to stay happy and productive.

I recently read the following and have found that what it reports works for me.

How to improve your vision

Did you know that the English word ‘thanks’ comes from the same root word as ‘think’?

And they not only share a similar background, they are related in another way. It seems the more we think, the more we thank. One woman illustrated the how thinking and thanking are related in a visit to the eye doctor.

She complained to her ophthalmologist that, as she grew older, her eyesight was getting worse. He examined her eyes and could not be encouraging about the future of her eyesight. But to his surprise, she did not seem to be upset.

She told him all she was grateful for . . . her deceased husband; her children and their families; her friends; the many years she has enjoyed upon this earth; her vast library of memories. She had done a great deal of thinking about these things.

‘My eyesight is getting worse,’ she summarized, ‘but I’m not going to fret over that.’

Her doctor later made this observation: ‘Her eyesight is poor, but her vision is better than most people.’ She clearly saw what many never see – all the good in her life. And she was content.

When we take time to think, and make time to thank, we see more clearly. It sounds like an good way to improve your vision.

Written by Steve Goodier

~~~

Embrace your uniqueness. Be the best original self you can be

Amy Temple

~~~

A man asks his guru, “Do you have anything that stops the aging process?”

The guru responds, “Sure. What kind of disease would you like?”

~~~

A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error.

“I’ll admit I’m wrong,” the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt, “if you’ll admit I’m right.”

He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first.

“I’m wrong,” she said.

With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, “You’re right!”

~~~

My home church welcomes all denominations, but really prefers tens and twenties.

~~~

While trying to explain to our five-year-old daughter how much technology had changed, my husband pointed to our brand-new personal computer and told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same amount of power would have been the size of a house.

Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, “How big was the mouse?”

~~~

A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Herm Albright

~~~

A priest and a rabbi were traveling on a plane. After a while the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”

The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our beliefs.”

The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”

To which the rabbi replied, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb and tasted pork.”

The priest nodded in understanding and went back to his reading. After a while the rabbi asked the priest, “Father, is it still a requirement of your faith that you remain celibate?”

The priest replied, “Yes that is still very much a part of our faith.”

The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptation of the flesh?”

The priest replied, “Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.”

The rabbi nodded understandingly for a moment and then said, “A lot better than pork, isn’t it?”

~~~

“A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.”

Lois Wyse

~~~

They tell me that:

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don’t “HAVE” them but “PITCH” them.

Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up “a mess.”

Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”

Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is – as in, “Going to town, be back directly.”

Even Southern babies know that “Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is.  They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.  (If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin’!)

Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far piece.” They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A true Southerner knows that “fixin'” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines.  We don’t do “queues,” we do “lines”; and when we’re “in line,” we talk to everybody!

Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they are related, even if only by marriage.

True Southerners never refer to one person as “y’all.”

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every true Southerner knows that eating tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee is perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food and that fried green tomatoes are not.

When you hear someone say, “Well, I caught myself lookin’… ,” you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say “sweet tea” and “sweet milk.” Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it – we do not like our tea unsweetened.  “Sweet milk” means you don’t want buttermilk.

Only true Southerners ask for “light bread.” That means you don’t want cornbread or biscuits.

And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway.  You just say, “Bless her heart” and go your own way!

~~~

Basic human contact . the meeting of eyes, the exchanging of words . .is to the psyche what oxygen is to the brain. If you’re feeling abandoned by the world, interact with anyone you can

Martha Beck

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

How to be miserable

January 12, 2021

http://raya-daily.com

The man who doesn’t relax and hoot a few hoots voluntarily, now and then, is in great danger of hooting hoots and standing on his head for the edification of the pathologist and trained nurse, a little later on.

Elbert Hubbard

I am off to an early Covid vaccination appointment

Ray’s Daily first published on January 12, 2006

The other day we talked about those people who seem to enjoy their unhappiness. While I don’t want to spend anytime with them I thought I should share this for those wish to be miserable, if you follow the suggestions you will be sure to increase your stress level. If it works for you let me know, I’ll be the guy asleep on the beach.

You’ll have no trouble staying stressed if you practice the following clinically proven methods:

  • Never Exercise – Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.
  • Eat Anything You Want – Hey, if cigarette smoke can’t cleanse your system, a balanced diet isn’t likely to.
  • Work hard at staying at least 25% over your recommended weight.
  • Take Plenty of Stimulants – The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and cola will continue to do the job just fine.
  • Ignore the evidence suggesting that meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and/or mental imaging help to reduce stress. The “perpetual work” ethic is good for staying stressed.
  • Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that you concern yourself with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to be your friend, avoid them.
  • Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car is mounting a personal attack. Don’t take time to listen; be offended, then return the attack!
  • Be Macho. Never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!
  • Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and weekends. Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for sissies.
  • Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance.
  • Procrastinate – Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.
  • Worry About Things You Can’t Control – Worry about the stock market, earthquakes, the approaching Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.
  • Set Impossibly High Standards – and either beat yourself up, or feel guilty, depressed, discouraged, and/or inadequate when you don’t meet them.
  • Throw Out Your Sense of Humor – Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn’t be treated as one. So…that means stop emails like this and get to WORK!

~~~

Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.

Margaret Fuller

~~~

Sarah and Abe are out celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary.

During the evening, Sarah broaches the subject of (their) life insurance, an issue she has been raising with him for at least 10 years, without success.

“Abe,” she says, with tears in her eyes, “I don’t think you love me.”

“Why do you think that?” he asks.

“Because if you really loved me, you would ensure that if anything happened to you, God forbid, I would be properly provided for.”

“Sarah,” he says angrily, “I need life insurance like I need a hole in the head.”

“I know your views,” says Sarah, “but I’ve spoken to two of my friends recently and they tell me that their husbands have life insurance — and they’re not as rich as you. If it’s good enough for them, why isn’t it good enough for you?”

“I’ll tell you why,” replies Abe. “It’s because they’ve been paying high premiums month after month, and what have they got so far in return? Nothing!”

“So what if their husbands have been paying for nothing?” says Sarah. “You’ve always told me I’m luckier than my friends — who knows, maybe this time I’ll strike it rich.”

~~~

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

Ed Furgol

~~~

“I was out of town on business,” he told the doctor,” and I wired my wife that I would be coming home on Tuesday, instead of Wednesday. When I got in I went straight home as fast as I could, and when I got there I found her in bed with my best friend!” 

The man then broke down into uncontrollable tears. 

The doctor considered the problem for a couple of moments then said, “Maybe she never got your telegram.” 

~~~

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

~~~

I’ve been reading a new book, if any of you would like to borrow it just let me know. It’s called the “Useful Golf Book”.  It contains some really good articles such as:

* How to Line Up Your Fourth Putt

* How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist from the tee

* How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in the bunker

* How to get more distance off the shank

* Proper etiquette when you are playing with a complete jerk

* Crying and how to handle it

* How to rationalize a 7-hour round

* How to find that ball that everyone else saw go in the water

* Why your spouse no longer cares that you birdied the 4th

* How to let a foursome play through your twosome without getting embarrassed

* How to relax when you’re hitting five off the tee

~~~

“Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes.”

Norman Douglas

~~~

An engineer, a physicist, and a statistician were moose hunting in northern Canada. After a short walk through the marshes they spotted a HUGE moose 150 meters away. 

The engineer raised his gun and fired at the moose. A puff of dust showed that the bullet landed 3 meters to the right of the moose. 

The physicist, realizing that there was a substantial breeze that the engineer did not account for, aimed to the left of the moose and fired. The bullet landed 3 meters to the left of the moose. 

The statistician jumped up and down screaming, “We got him! We got him!” 

~~~

What’s the opposite of opposite?

~~~

When I was doing telemarketing, one of our associates had a man on the phone and was pitching the product. The man rebuffed him and said his wife wouldn’t let him buy it. The associate boldly asked “Who wears the pants in your family?”

The man replied “My wife said I do?”

~~~

George Washington never told a lie, proving that he neither liked to golf or fish.

~~~

In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms.

An elderly woman hesitantly entered my cubicle.  She had completed her admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the necessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital.

“Just to visit a friend,” she said, “but this had taken so long, I’m not sure I have time now.”

~~~

Let no one come to you without leaving better and happier.

Mother Teresa

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

I am glad

Ray’s Daily

January 11. 2021

http://daily.com

The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Last week was troubling for me. I don’t know if I will ever fully adjust to my wife and me living apart and I look forward to the time when the antivirus lock down will again allow me to visit her. The violent assault on the capital last week was brutal reminder of how the misled are turned into terrorists and we must do better. In addition to all that the cases of Covid19 in infections and deaths continue to reach new heights. I just do not understand how so many of our citizens flaunt the steps that can minimize the problem.

I will be talking to my wife daily on the phone and be grateful that she is being well taken care of, I will continue to follow the health guidelines, and tomorrow I will be getting vaccinated. I am hopeful that there will be calmer days between now and the inauguration of our new President. I know it will do me no good to fret over what I can’t control.

Here are some thoughts from Angel Chernoff to keep in mind:

5 Daily Reminders that Will Calm Your Mind in 2021

As you begin each day in 2021, be mindful and take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. Breathe onto the bathroom mirror just to see how amazing your breath looks. When you start a day in a mindful state like this, you can focus more effectively, step into the day on the right foot and carry the momentum forward.

Easier said than done on most days, but practice always helps. So, practice reminding yourself…

1.         The problem is rarely the problem—the problem is the incredible amount of over-thinking and over-analyzing you’re doing with the problem.

2.         Many people make themselves unhappy simply by finding it impossible to accept life just as it is presenting itself right now. You don’t have to be one of them.

3.         Never force anything. Do your best, then let it be. If it’s meant to be, it will be. Don’t hold yourself down with things that are out of your control.

4.         Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it. Sometimes what you never wanted or expected turns out to be what you need.

5.         RELAX. You are enough. You have enough. You do enough. Inhale. Exhale… let go, and just live right now in the moment.

Again, making these kinds of perspective shifts—thinking better—takes guidance and practice.

~~~

To me, life is a gift, and it’s a blessing to just be alive. And each person should learn what a gift it is to be alive no matter how tough things get.

Tony Bennett

~~~

The Code of Ethical Behavior for Patients

1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort. Involvement with the patient’s suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.

2. Be cheerful at all times. Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get.

3. Try to suffer from the disease for which you are being treated. Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.

4. Do not complain if the treatment fails to bring relief. You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent disability you may have experienced.

5. Never ask your doctor to explain what he is doing or why he is doing it. It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained in terms that you would understand.

6. Submit to novel experimental treatment readily. Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting research paper will surely be of widespread interest.

7. Pay your medical bills promptly and willingly. You should consider it a privilege to contribute, however modestly, to the well-being of physicians and other humanitarians.

8. Do not suffer from ailments that you cannot afford. It is sheer arrogance to contract illnesses that are beyond your means.

9. Never reveal any of the shortcomings that have come to light in the course of treatment by your doctor. The patient-doctor relationship is a privileged one, and you have a sacred duty to protect him from exposure.

10. Never die while in your doctor’s presence or under his direct care. This will only cause him needless inconvenience and embarrassment.

~~~

“Life is something that everyone should try at least once.”

Henry J. Tillman

~~~

A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.

Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

The waitress went over to the table and said to the woman, “Pardon me, ma’am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.”

The woman calmly looked up at her and said, “No, he didn’t. He just walked in the door.”

~~~

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

~~~

A four-year-old was showing a little friend the family photos that covered one wall in their basement.

Out of sight, but not out of earshot, her mother overheard her say, “Here’s a picture of my mommy when she was a little girl. I wasn’t there, but people say she used to be nice.”

~~~

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.

Agatha Christie

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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