Ray's musings and humor

Archive for January, 2018

My Big Day

Ray’s Daily

January 31, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but of moments.

Rose Kennedy

birthday

Today is my birthday and as I look back over the years I realize how fortunate I have been. Even though there have been setbacks, the years have been kind. My marriage of more than 63 years continues to provide joy. In the early 40’s I could not even imagine what the world would be like when I retired at 65 and now it has been 28 years since I retired from the computer industry in 1990 and 18 years since I retired from my project directors job at Kiwanis International.

My wife has gifted us with three great children and they have provided us seven grandchildren and two great-grandchildren who are all truly special. I have traveled the world, met with many of the great, the kind and the caring folks that are so important to our worlds future. I tried to emulate them by doing my best.

A lot has changed in the last 83 years but thankfully there are still people like you to give us hope. What follows is a list I modified written by a fellow in his twenties, it works  even at my age,

My Birthday

But this year I’ve been sitting here thinking about gifts and birthdays. I’ve been sitting here thinking about my 26 years (minus one day) of life. Of all the the gifts that have ever been given to me and of the ones I truely appreciate, the best gifts I have ever received have never been given to me on my birthday. The best gifts come at odd times.

  • In the morning when I roll over to see my wife’s sleeping face.
  • When a friend calls me, after 9 years of no contact, to make sure I am doing OK.
  • When I realized that I didn’t have to look at the ground when I walk by people.
  • Te doctors and caregivers who brought me back from severe illnesses.
  • When my wife and children stayed by my side, taking care of me, when I was at my worst.
  • When I receive e-mail from someone visiting my website, just to say thank you.
  • The advice abd assistance provided by so many that helped me learn and grow,
  • The friends who have been there when I needed them.

~~~

Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.

Satchel Paige

~~~

WE MUST STOP THIS SINISTER PLOT!

Have you ever noticed that as the years go by, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper, groceries are heavier, and everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was horrified to discover how long our street had become! I never noticed when I was younger that it’s been changing!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also have a feeling that these people are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, something has been making people who used to be my own age so much older than I am.

I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection…. and I noticed that even mirrors were not made the way they used to be!

Clothing manufacturers are part of the conspiracy too! Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You’re risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

The people who make bathroom scales are in on it as well. Do they think I actually believe the number I see on that dial? Hah! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on — but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they’ve printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon *everyone* will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

~~~

“The best way to get people to think out of the box is not to create the box in the first place.”

Martin Cooper

~~~

A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night. A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said, “You’re a man of God. Can’t you do something about this?”

He replied, “Sorry, I can’t. I’m in sales, not management.”

~~~

The human race is divided into two classes–those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, “Why wasn’t it done the other way?”

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

~~~

A man was celebrating his 80th birthday and his 50th wedding anniversary.

A reported asked, “Sir, how do you account for looking so fit?”

“Well,” the old-timer told him, “when we got married, my wife and I made an agreement that any time we saw an argument coming on, I would grab my hat and walk three times around the block. You’d be surprised what 50 years of outdoor exercise will do for your health!”

~~~

You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness.

Brad Garrett

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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Laugh

Ray’s Daily

January 30, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

Victor Hugo

Laughter

I learned a lesson in the last few days. I found that an overly optimistic mind is not necessarily the best thing to go with a broken body. I was sure that I was at the point I could return to bed rest after days in the recliner as my ribs heald and that was wrong. I also thought I could drive and run a few simple errands yesterday morning and found that was also a mistake, In fact I aggravated my rib injury.

So before the next move I am going to ask my body to be somewhat pessimistic when it reviews my action plans. I am temporally going to move to slow rather than sorry. I do hope to do some light mail reading and the like since I have been putting almost everything off.

I read the following story yesterday and it reminded me that sometimes laughter is the best medicine.

Laugh A Lot

By Joseph J. Mazzella

Enlightenment is a curious thing. It comes in unexpected moments. It comes in all shapes and sizes. I received a moment of enlightenment just recently from the mouth of a babe. I was heading into the local post office to mail out a few checks to pay a few bills. I saw a young woman who had gone to school with my oldest son. On her hip was her little daughter who was no more than three years old. After talking for a few minutes she shared a story of her high school days with my son and we both smiled. Just then her little girl pointed up to the heavy folds of wrinkles around my eyes. “What are those?”, she asked. I smiled again and said they were laugh lines. She looked at me for a second and then said, “You must laugh a lot!”

On my way home that funny, enlightening moment stayed in my mind. “Yes”, I thought to myself. “I have laughed a lot over the years. I have smiled a lot too. I have been blessed. I have been happy more often than not. And if my heavy wrinkles are a sign of that, then it is a sign I am pleased to share with everyone I meet.”

Our laughter, love, and smiles don’t just produce wrinkles in our skin either. They also help our hearts. They also line up our lives. They also carve out the shape of our souls. Every act of kindness, every act of sharing, every act of caring ripples out to touch the lives of countless others. Every moment that we love each other here on earth shines so brightly that it is seen in Heaven. Every smile we share makes God smile as well.

Learn to love your laugh lines then. Learn to embrace your wrinkles with joy. The next time you look in the mirror: touch, smile and admire them. They are a sign that you have laughed a lot. They are a sign that you have loved a lot. They are a sign that you have lived a lot. They are a sign that you are being the person God meant for you to be.

~~~

“Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels better right now.”

Veronica Roth,

~~~

She said: Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying, “Why, thank you!” (though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent).

Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are on stage singing, some are in the audience as critics, and some are there to applaud. Know who and where you are.

Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter and doesn’t like dogs and cats.

~~~

An apple a day will keep the doctor away – that is, if your aim is really good.

~~~

The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor did was to ask whether anything was troubling him.

“Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes,” answered the patient. “You see, I seem to be getting forgetful. No, it’s actually worse than that. I’m never sure I can remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter, or where I’m going, or what it is I’m going to do once I get there — if I get there. So, I really need your help. What can I do?”

The doctor mused for a moment, then answered in his kindest tones, “Pay me in advance.”

~~~

Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

~~~

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.”

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

~~~

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”

~~~

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

“But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”

~~~

“Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.”

Jim Murray.

~~~

Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment, the wife would often complain about anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a “dream home”.  Trying to placate her, the husband found a new apartment, within their budget.

However, after the first week, she began complaining again.  “Joel,” she said, “I don’t like this place at all.  There are no curtains in the bathroom.  The neighbors can see me every time I take a bath.”

“Don’t worry.” replied her husband.  “If the neighbors do see you, they’ll buy curtains.”

~~~

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

  1. e. cummings

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Too Soon

Ray’s Daily

January 29, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

From the top of the hill there is no hill.

Thomas Schneider

image description

A friend e-mailed me yesterday checking on my recovery from my fall. I reported that I had progressed to the point that I was able to again sleep in a bed with only modest pain. Boy was I wrong I tried it and aggravated my injury and had to move back into the recliner for sleep. I guess I will be there until my body finishes repairing itself.

I am hoping to venture out in my car this morning to do some shopping. I did tell my friend that my career as an ice walker has ended, I have learned my lesson. I now need to get up the energy to deal with the mail that has been pilling up and the stack of unread newspapers.

Both my wife and I are grateful for all the help and care provided by our children and their families. If it was not for them we would not have been able to do what needed to be done.

The other day I got an e-mail from Henrik Edberg of the Positivity Blog that offered the following for folks who have experienced a setback. I thought the advice to be timely for me as I restart.

Be your own best friend.

It is OK to feel angry or disappointed for a short while. But don’t fall into the common trap of beating yourself up and acting like an unkind boss towards yourself. That will erode your self-esteem. Be a kind and supportive friend to yourself instead. Ask yourself: How would my friend/parent support me and help me in this situation? Then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.

What is one opportunity or lesson here?

A failure or a mistake is very rarely permanent. It might feel like it is. But most often it is temporary and there is something you can do about the situation. So tap into optimism and into being constructive instead of becoming passive and pessimistic. Ask yourself: what is one opportunity or lesson in this situation? My experience has been that there is almost always something that is helpful or good – in the long run – to find in any situation.

Take one small step forward.

With your lesson or opportunity in mind ask yourself this: What is one small – or tiny step – I can take right now to start solving or move out of this situation? Then take that small step. And after that take the next small step.

~~~

When an illness knocks you on your ass, you should stay down and relax for a while before trying to get back up.

Candea Core-Starke

~~~

Harry and Molly had been married for many years but now were in divorce court.

The judge asked, “Harry, is it true that the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Molly?”

Harry replies, “Yes Judge, that is correct.”

“And how do you explain this unusual conduct?” the judge inquires.

Harry replies, “I didn’t want to interrupt her Your Honor.”

~~~

Let your soul do the singin’.

Ma Rainey

~~~

When Andrea was planning her upcoming wedding, she asked to wear her mother’s wedding dress. She went to try it on and the gown was a perfect fit on her petite frame. As her mother’s eyes welled up with tears, Andrea put an arm around her. “You’re not losing a daughter”, she reminded her mother in time-honored fashion, “you’re gaining a son.”

“Oh forget about that!” said her mother with a sob, “I used to fit into that dress!”

~~~

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

Mark Twain.

~~~

Two pilots got to talking on a transatlantic flight. The captain was Jewish, and the co-pilot was Chinese. It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by the silence that they didn’t care for each other.

After thirty minutes, the Captain finally spoke. He said, “I don’t like Chinese.”

The co-pilot replied, “Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why dat?”

The pilot said, “You guys bombed Pearl Harbor. That’s why I don’t like Chinese.”

The co-pilot said, “Nooooo, noooo …. Chinese no bomb Pearl Harbah. JAPANESE bomb Pearl Harbah.”

The pilot answered, “Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese… it doesn’t matter. You’re all alike.”

Another thirty minutes of silence ensued. Finally, the co-pilot said, “I no like Jew.”

The pilot replied, “Why not? Why don’t you like Jews?”

“Jews sink Titanic.”

The pilot tried to correct him, “No, no. The Jews didn’t sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg.”

“Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg… no mattah… all same.”

~~~

Happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy.

Gretta Brooker Palmer

~~~

After an hour of “Just a little more white, two squirts of blue, a dash of black, perhaps a tad more white,” the paint- store clerk got my gallon to the exact shade I wanted. With a sigh of relief, he pounded the lid on.

“Now what do I do if I need more paint?” I asked.

“Don’t come back here,” he begged.

~~~

Miriam: I saw an interesting TV ad for a stop-snoring product. It said, “Nothing ruins a romantic mood like snoring.”

Esther: Miriam, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but if he’s snoring, the romantic mood is already over!

~~~

A man complains to a friend, “I can’t take it anymore.”

“What’s wrong?” his concerned friend asks.

“It’s my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!”

“You mean hysterical,” his friend said, chuckling.

“No, I mean HISTORICAL,” the man insists. “Every argument we have, she’ll go “I still remember that time when you ….”

~~~

The hardest thing you can do is smile when you are ill, in pain, or depressed. But this no-cost remedy is a necessary first half-step if you are to start on the road to recovery.

Allen Klein

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

 

Loosen Up!

Ray’s Daily

January 26, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.

John N. Mitchell

loosen up

When you become as old as I am you too will probably look back on your life and review the good times and the bad times. During my current time of recuperation I have decided that much of what looked bad in my life at the time was responsible for me moving in a new direction. The combination of the choices we make in our life leads us on a path to where we finally end up.

In my case I have had a full life filled with some really great times with some of the excellent people I met along the way. In truth my only regret is that sometimes I took things too seriously. I can relate to the lady who said the following and I recommend that you consider taking her advice and loosen up.

I Would Pick More Daisies

When the late Nadine Stair of Louisville, Kentucky, was 85 years old, she was asked what she would do if she had her life to live over again.

“I’d make more mistakes next time,” she said. “I’d relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been on this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

“You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, and a raincoat. If I had to do it over again, I would travel lighter than I have.

“If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds and I would pick more daisies.”

~~~

Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.

Bernice Johnson Reagon

~~~

In Mississippi, a guy sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the mutt replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The mutt looks up and says, “Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had 18 wives, too many puppies to remember, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

The owner says, “Ten dollars.”

The guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?”

The owner replies, “He’s just a big liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”

~~~

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.

Charlotte Bronte

~~~

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, “Look at me.  I’m old and worn out. You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France.”

The new inmate asked, “What happened?”

“One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!”

~~~

All that glitters has a high refractive index.

~~~

She said: At my granddaughter’s wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest.  It turned out to be my husband and I.  The DJ asked us, “What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?”  I said, “The three most important words in a marriage are, ‘You’re probably right.'”

Everyone then looked at my husband.  He said, “She’s probably right.”

~~~

If a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

Edgar Watson Howe

~~~

Goldblatt was showing off.  He told his friend, “I bought a hearing aid yesterday.  It cost me two thousand bucks, but it is state of the art.”

“What kind is it?” his friend asked.

“A quarter of twelve,” was the answer.

~~~

Children have more need of models than of critics

~~~

I was interviewing a jeweler for a story I was writing on giving new life to old jewelry, and I asked him to tell me about his most memorable client. “It was a divorced woman who had me make a pair of earrings from her inscribed wedding band,” he remembered.  “One earring read, ‘with all,’ and the other, ‘my love.’

When I asked why she had wanted it done that way, she answered, ‘To remind me that the next time anyone says that to me, I should let in go in one ear and out the other.'”

~~~

Most people can look back over the years and identify a time and place at which their lives changed significantly. Whether by accident or design, these are the moments when, because of a readiness within us and a collaboration with events occurring around us, we are forced to seriously reappraise ourselves and the conditions under which we live and to make certain choices that will affect the rest of our lives.

Frederick F. Flack

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Always stay positive

Ray’s Daily

January 25, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

“We don’t see the things the way they are. We see things the way WE are.”

Talmund

always-be-positive

There are few benefits to being chair bound as I recover from my fall. But one that does exist is more time for reflection and contemplation. It has helped me to reaffirm in my mind how much I value my friends and family.

It would be easy to fall into the oh-woe-is-me trap but it does not happen if we maintain a positive attitude. So you can see why I want to share with you these excerpts from 5 Positive Thoughts & 5 Positive Affirmations for a Super 2018 article written by Zeenat {PositiveProvocations.com}

Positive thoughts and affirmations work best when we can use them consciously. Every-time you feel a whiff of negativity take over your thoughts, consciously make an effort to flip that negative thought with a positive one. Topping it up with a positive affirmation after makes the positivity stick. Making this a daily practice can make you get rid of the unconscious negative thinking patterns we are all so prone to. Here are few of my favorite positive thoughts and affirmations to get you started. You can create your own as per your situation too.

Positive Thoughts

  1. Shine you own light, Show your true colors, Be Your OWN Person.
  2. Be happy in the moment, that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.
  3. No one is in charge of your HAPPINESS except YOU! Take charge, BE Happy!
  4. Live a life of love, honesty, appreciation, kindness and strength. Sprinkled with a little silliness.
  5. I’ve learned that what has passed should remain in the past….otherwise time can’t do its job of healing the heart.

Positive Asperations

  1. *Positive Affirmation*: “Everything is getting better everyday”
  2. Positive Affirmation: I CHOOSE TO BE POSITIVE TODAY AND EVERYDAY!
  3. Positive Affirmation: “I accept what I cannot change.”
  4. Positive Affirmation: I AM OPEN TO POSITIVE CHANGE IN ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE.
  5. NEW YEAR POSITIVE AFFIRMATION: “My positive attitude promises a coming year of great happiness and success.”

~~~

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Dr Wayne Dyer

~~~

You know IT’S YOUR LAST DAY AT WORK WHEN…

You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?”, you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox.

A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one’s your turn”. Your boss is standing behind you. It’s his wife.

You return from a week’s vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.

You take a “sick” day. The next morning the boss asks you, “So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?”.

~~~

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

~~~

He said I am glad to be a guy because:

Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

~~~

I finally got my head together and my body fell apart.

~~~

A guy tells his doctor, “I am under a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people and insulting them. You gotta help me, doctor!”

The doctor says, “Tell me about your problem.”

The guy looks at him and yells, “I just did YOU STUPID S.O.B.!”

~~~

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, “My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!”

~~~

A man was standing first in line for tickets from those who had canceled their reservations to a sold-out play.

The manager said he had two together, and pointed to the two women behind the man. “You wouldn’t want to come between Mother and daughter, would you?”

The man turned around, and replied, “No. I did that once, and regretted it right up until the divorce.”

~~~

She said: “Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.”

~~~

At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”

~~~

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain

~~~

Mr. Smith patted his daughter’s hand fondly, and told her, “Your young man told me today he wanted you as a bride, and I gave my consent.”

Oh, Papa,” gushed the daughter, “it’s going to be so hard leaving mother.”

“I understand perfectly, my dear,” beamed Mr.  Smith. “You can just take her with you.”

~~~

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Confucious

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

A new beginning

Ray’s Daily

January 24, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.

Charles Swindoll

begin-again1

While I am still mending from my fall, I am making progress. The pain is almost manageable and I expect to soon leave my recliner and return to my bed for naps and sleep.

This has been an ordeal for my wife and I but has worked because of the support we have received from our family. My youngest daughter continues to manage our finances and our health needs while providing appointment transportation. My oldest daughter manages the house, she cleans, fixes, and makes sure we have what we need. She also maintains the archive of our important papers. My son provides oversight and on demand help. Their spouses also do a lot of the heavy lifting.

They have done our shopping, managed our medications, brought us meals and more. Our respect and love for our family knows no bounds.

And now we will begin our return to self sufficiency that will include their continued support. We will never be what we once were but we will make the best of what’s ahead. Here are some thoughts for those of us who continue to rebuild.

     12 things to remember:

The past cannot be changed.

Opinions don’t define your reality

Everyone’s journey is different.

Things always get better with time.

Judgments are a confession of character.

Over thinking will lead to sadness.

Happiness is found within.

Positive thoughts create positive things.

Smiles are contagious.

Kindness is free.

You only fail if you quit.

What goes around, comes around.

~~~

Either you run the day, or the day runs you.

Jim Rohn

~~~

The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why. “I’ll tell you why,” said Deacon Brown. “Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register.”

“Well,” interrupted the dealer, “didn’t you receive them yet?”

“Oh, we received them all right,” replied Deacon Brown. “However, you sent us some golf pencils…each stamped with the words, ‘Play Golf Next Sunday’.”

~~~

A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?”

The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”

~~~

Daddy, where did I come from?” the seven-year-old asked.

It was a moment for which her parents had carefully prepared. They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other books, and explained all they thought she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproductions. Then they both sat back and smiled contentedly.

“Does that answer your question?” her father asked.

“Not really,” the little girl said. “Marcia said she came from Detroit. I want to know where I came from.”

~~~

Time may be a great healer but it’s also a lousy beautician.

~~~

Dear Mom and Dad,

I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.

Your son, Marvin.

P.S. I felt so terrible, I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed that I could get it back. But it was too late.”

A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said, “Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came!”

~~~

“Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?”
Groucho Marx

~~~

The first morning after the honeymoon, the husband got up early, went down to the kitchen, and brought his wife her breakfast in bed. Naturally, she was delighted.

Then he spoke: “Have you noticed just what I have done?”

“Of course, dear. Every single detail!”

“Good. That’s how I want my breakfast served every morning.”

~~~

I know what Victoria’s Secret is: Nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

~~~

The priest was at the side of a dying man. Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”

The dying man said, “Well, if you really want the truth, until I know where I’m going, I don’t think I should make him mad!”

~~~

“Find your balance and stand with it. Find your song and sing it out. Find your cadence and let it appear like a dance. Find the questions that only you know how to ask and the answers that you are content to not know.”

Mary Anne Radmacher

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Getting Better!

Ray’s Daily

January 23, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Life is about growing and improving and getting better.

Conor McGregor

getting-better-quotes-8

The good news I am recovering, While I slept in a chair I slept fairly well. Still not up to doing a new daily so we again will visit the archives.

Ray’s Daily first published on January 23, 2004

     I’m off early this morning to have breakfast with an old colleague from New York who is in town for a meeting. Getting together for an hour or so is important to me as now that I appear to be really retired, we may never meet again, at least face-to-face. I think what we become is often due to the results of our friendships and their impact on our thoughts and even our lives. It is sad how often we fail to tell friends all they have given to us until it is too late to do so.

     In a slightly different vein I lunched with another close friend this week and our conversation drifted into a discussion about someone we both hold in high regard. Our talk centered on the decisions and judgments our friend is making in his professional life. We got into the fact that we all have a tendency to see the world only from where we stand and that this may be having undue influence on his decisions. We all have a lifetime of experiences, developed tastes, observations, and even prejudices that I believe often have too much influence on what we do or say. As an example it drives me up the wall when a politician says “The American People want…” as if they are capable of speaking for all of us. How many times have we slipped into subjective judgmental comments such as the restaurants special is lousy, or the movie stinks, as if everyone shares our tastes. I often feel that one of the greatest problems we face in the world today is that those in power, base their decisions on what worked for them a generation ago and don’t understand the changes that have gone on in society since.

     I remember lunching in Rome years ago at a restaurant that served Lasagna, to those of us who were touring together, when I heard a fellow traveler complain that “the Italians don’t know how to make Lasagna.” Judging others, the world and all it has to offer, by only our own subjective view is not only somewhat arrogant, but of even greater importance is a sure way to miss out on so much of what makes life interesting and worthwhile. It seems to me that just knowing that how we feel and what we do is filtered by seeing the world only from where we stand is enough for us to open our minds to more. And you know what? Standing in a different spot once in awhile can be an adventure and even fun.

~~~

The less routine the more life.

Amos Bronson Alcott

~~~

Ken said:

Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.

From my purchase this chap took off ten percent.

I asked for the cause of a lesser amount;

And he answered, “Because of the Seniors Discount.”

I went to McDonald’s for a burger and fries;

And there, once again, got quite a surprise.

The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me.

He said, “For you, Seniors, the coffee is free.”

Understand—I’m not old—I’m merely mature;

But some things are changing, temporarily, I’m sure.

The newspaper print gets smaller each day,

And people speak softer–can’t hear what they say.

My teeth are my own (I have the receipt),

And my glasses identify people I meet.

Oh, I’ve slowed down a bit…not a lot, I am sure.

You see, I’m not old…I’m only mature.

The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun.

You should see all the damage that chlorine has done.

Washing my hair has turned it all white,

But don’t call it gray…saying “blond” is just right.

My car is all paid for…not a nickel is owed.

Yet a kid yells, “Old duffer…get off of the road!”

My car has no scratches…not even a dent.

Still I get all that guff from a punk who’s “Hell bent.”

My friends all get older…much faster than me.

They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see.

I’ve got “character lines,” not wrinkles…for sure,

But don’t call me old…just call me mature.

The steps in the houses they’re building today

Are so high that they take…your breath all away;

And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago.

That should explain why my walking is slow.

But I’m keeping up on what’s hip and what’s new,

And I think I can still dance a mean boogaloo.

I’m still in the running…in this I’m secure,

I’m not really old … I’m only mature.

~~~

“The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.”

King Edward VIII

~~~

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, my Uncle Joe was hired by a warehouse.  But one day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he’d have to withhold 10 percent of Uncle Joe’s wages to pay for the repairs.

“How much will it cost?” asked my uncle.

“About $4,500,” said the owner.

“What a relief!” exclaimed Uncle Joe. “I’ve finally got job security!”

~~~

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

~~~

A pretty woman, carrying a stack of boxes from a shopping spree, was walking down the street when all of a sudden a strong wind lifts her skirt. The hillbilly standing nearby just looked and smiled.

The woman snaps at him, “Well, I can see that you’re no gentleman!”

The hillbilly replies, “And I kin see you ain’t one, neither!”

~~~

A computer DOES save time at work. Now I can play solitaire without having to spend all that time shuffling real cards.

~~~

No man can ever be noble who thinks meanly or contemptuously of himself, and no man can ever be noble who thinks first and only of himself.

H. Dollinger

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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