Ray's musings and humor

Archive for May, 2022

Keep up the good work

Ray’s Daily

May 16, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Where there is no vision, the people perish.

Proverbs 29:18

My youngest daughter is in Spain this morning, about to spend a week hiking and then a few days of sightseeing. She, like so many of you. seems to think of her life as a work in process.

I have met many leaders and adventurers in my lifetime and the one thing they had in common was their commitment to doing their best every day. Here is an edited piece that reminds me of my children and so many of you. Just keep up the good work!

Five ingredients of personal growth

As any farmer knows, the growth of a crop only happens when the right ingredients are present. To harvest plentiful fields, the farmer has to begin by planting the right seed in rich topsoil where sunlight and water can help the seed to sprout, mature, and bear fruit. If any of the ingredients (seeds, topsoil, sunlight, or water) are missing, the crop won’t grow.

Growing as a leader also requires the proper ingredients. Unless the right attitudes and actions are cultivated an aspiring leader will sputter and fail rather than growing in influence. Let’s look at five basic qualities essential for growth in leadership.

1. Teachability – Arrogance crowds out room for improvement. That’s why humility is the starting point for personal growth. We can’t learn anything new until we can admit that we don’t already know everything.’

2. Sacrifice – Growth as a leader involves temporary loss. It may mean giving up familiar but limiting patterns, safe but unrewarding work, values no longer believed in, or relationships that have lost their meaning. Whatever the case, everything we gain in life comes as a result of sacrificing something else. We must give up to go up.

3.  Security – To keep learning throughout life, you have to be willing, no matter what your position is, to say, ‘I don’t know.’

4. Listening – Listen, learn, and ask questions from somebody successful who has gone on before you. Borrow from their experiences so that you can avoid their mistakes and emulate their triumphs. Solicit feedback and take to heart what you’re told. The criticism of friends may seem bitter in the short-term but, when heeded; it can save you from falling victim to your blind spots.

5. Application – Knowledge has a limited shelf life. Unless used immediately or carefully preserved, it spoils and becomes worthless. Put the lessons you learn into practice so that your insights mature into understanding.

Written by John C. Maxwell

~~~

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.

Warren Bennis

~~~

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON’T SAY

My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire…

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

~~~

She said: While I was visiting my sister one evening, I took out a candy dispenser that was shaped like a miniature person. “How does that thing work?” she asked.

As I turned the figurine’s arm to pop candy out, my sister laughed.  “I see it’s a lot like my husband,” she said.  “You have to twist his arm to get anything out of him.”

~~~

Middle-aged wife to husband at computer: “Yes, honey, I think you can safely assume that a romantic e-mail from Pamela Lee Anderson is a prank.”

~~~

Nathan is talking to his lawyer. “Here’s the deal, Abe. If you’re absolutely sure I’ll win the case, I’ll give you the business.”

“OK,” replies Abe, “but before I can give you my opinion, I obviously need to know the facts.”

So Nathan goes into great detail about his failed partnership and ends up saying, “So now you’ve heard everything, do you think I can sue my partner and get my money back?”

“Well,” replies Abe, “from what I’ve just heard, it’s clear to me that you will win. It’s rare to have such an open-and-shut case.”

Nathan goes very white when he hears this.

“What’s the matter?” asks Abe.

“I told you my partner’s side of the case,” replies Nathan.

~~~

“Whatever you’re ready for is ready for you.”

Mark Victor Hansen

~~~

He said: The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that included a pair of cuff links. One was inscribed Ctrl (control) and the other Esc (escape), just as they look on a computer keyboard. “They would make a good present for any man,” my wife commented to a colleague, “if only to remind him of the two things he can never have.”

~~~

“If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.”

Milton Jones

~~~

When you have three boys, it’s hard to know whom to blame if something goes wrong in the house.

One father explained to a friend how he solved the problem:  “I send all three to bed without letting them watch television.  In the morning I go after the one with the black eye!”

~~~

Treat each day as your last, one day you will be right.

~~~

At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Arizona.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.

“Say, is this really a healthy place?”

“It sure is,” the man replied.

“When I first arrived here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed.”

“That’s wonderful!” said John. “How long have you been here?”

“I was born here.”

~~~

A leader is a dealer in hope.

Napoleon Bonaparte

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Sandy Was Right

Ray’s Daily

May 13, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal.”

Ray’s Daily first published on  May 13, 2008 3:03 PM
 

One of the rewards I get from publishing the Daily is the wisdom so often provided me by readers. One of my favorites is Sandy Rose from Texas. Here is an example of the kind of gifts she gives me.

If you remember I used this quote as the tag to yesterday’s Daily:

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”

Mark Victor Hansen

Here is what Sandy replied:

I’ve been to a couple seminars with Mark Victor Hansen – he is a very powerful speaker. I especially liked his quote at the end…but it’s true about rescripting our lives which are constantly in flux. This is more true as we mature and find ourselves playing out our scripts on another stage in our lives. I am thankful I have not been devastated by lack of work or some other disaster (of which there are many at this time in our societies). Some foreclosures and bankruptcies are at the making of poor choices and the self-imposed desire to be like the Joneses… some are the result of illness or personal disasters. If we would all take our inventory at the different stages in our lives and be willing to face the truth and/or consequences we would grow by leaps and bounds. Many just expect the next guy, the government, or someone else to take over their lives. It’s so true what you offer here when you say …”I do get excited when someone decides that they will take this opportunity to find out what will make the rest of their life better than what it has been.” I hope I can always do that as long as I live. Thanks for your blog today — it gets us thinking 🙂

I hear from Sandy often and the thing that impresses me the most is that she seems to take stock often, understands her needs, desires and capabilities and then moves ahead. While I have never met her she sounds like the kind of person who I would really like. I doubt that she spends too much time trying to figure out why not to do something for she is too busy just doing it. Each day, week and month is a new opportunity and there is no reason not to climb aboard and enjoy the ride. Too many of us drive a stake in the ground, become someone and then stagnate as we never change. Live is an adventure to be enjoyed not just tolerated, so if I am gone sometime for awhile I might just be with Sandy Rose riding on a star screaming yippee!

~~~

“Live life so completely that when death comes to you like a thief in the night, there will be nothing left for him to steal.”

~~~

I don’t think I’ll ever have a mother’s intuition. My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 10-month-old nephew.

I said, “What do I do if he cries?”

She said, “Give him some vegetables.”

It turns out jalapeno peppers are not his favorite!

~~~

Most people rush after pleasure so fast that they rush right past it.

Soren Kierkegaard

~~~

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.

“Look,” she said. “We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other.”

“You’re wrong,” the young man declared. “For the past 5 years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his account.

~~~

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

~~~

My son is the manager of a glass and window company and advertised in the paper for experienced glaziers.

Since a good glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who called about the job said he had over 10 years of experience.

“Where have you worked as a glazier?” my son asked.

The man replied, “Dunkin’ Donuts.”

~~~

“Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. ”

Douglas MacArthur

~~~

The poor Jewish tailor is beside himself with worry. His wife is very ill and he wants the best doctor in town to treat her. But the doctor is somewhat reluctant because the tailor is so poor and, it being unlikely that his wife could be saved, the tailor might not pay him should his wife die. However, the tailor promises he will pay anything, no matter whether the doctor cures his wife or kills her!

This is sufficient for the doctor and he agrees. Unfortunately, the doctor cannot save her and the tailor’s wife dies. However, when the doctor’s bill arrives the tailor refuses to pay it despite his promise. After much argument, the doctor and the tailor agree to let the Rabbi decide the case since they both are, after all, Jewish.

The doctor puts his case to the Rabbi that the tailor promised to pay “no matter whether the doctor cured his wife or killed her.”

After much thought the Rabbi asks the doctor, “Did you cure her?”

“No,” admitted the doctor.

“And did you kill her?” “I certainly did not,” expostulated the doctor.

“In that case,” said the Rabbi, “the tailor has no case to answer because you fulfilled neither of the conditions on which you agreed that the fee should be paid.”

~~~

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”  

Robert F. Kennedy

~~~

A man who had been in a mental institution for some years finally improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The psychiatrist that ran the institution decided it was better to proceed with caution, and chose to interview him first. “Tell me,” said the doctor, “if we release you, as we are considering, what do you plan to do with your life?”

The inmate said, “It would be wonderful to get back to real life, and if I do, I will certainly refrain from making my former mistake. I was a nuclear physicist, you see, and it was the stress of my work in weapons research that helped to put me here. If I am released, I shall limit myself to work in pure theory, where I believe the situation will be less difficult and stressful.”

“Wonderful,” said the psychiatrist.

“Or else,” continued the patient, “I might teach. There is something to be said for dedicating your life to expanding the knowledge of young people.”

“Definitely,” said the psychiatrist.

“Then again, I might write. There is always a need for books on science, or I may even write a novel based on my experiences in the psychiatric institution.”

“Another interesting possibility,” agreed the doctor.

“And finally, if none of these things appeals to me, I can always continue to be a teakettle.”

~~~

“Every time you wake up and ask yourself, “What good things am I going to do today?”, remember that when the sun goes down at sunset, it will take a part of your life with it.”

Indian Proverb

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

You Can Do It

Ray’s Daily

May 12, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

Alan Cohen

Ray’s Daily first published on May 12, 2006

~~~

We spent a lot of time this week talking about learning about ourselves, deciding what is important to us and then giving ourselves permission to follow our dreams. If only it was simple, unfortunately for many of us it is not. Life offers us too many easy paths to places we would rather avoid. It is easier to do what we have always done than to pack up and face the unknown. If we do everything that everyone else wants us to do chances are they will not criticize and leave us alone if we do what they want rather than what we want. Let’s face it; it takes courage to commit yourself to finding what is best for yourself when there are so many imagined obstacles in the way.

Unfortunately as we think about what we might do, plan how we might do it, and bank dreams to be withdrawn sometime in the future the clock keeps ticking. Another day, another week, another month, another year goes by and as they pass our desired destination slips further away. I would much rather say that at least I gave myself a chance and tried, than to end life saying if only I would have followed my dream.

Maybe part of our problem is that we often think in terms of black and white, “If I do what I want I will have to walk away from what I have now,” of course that is wrong. If nothing else I at least I can do something I have never done before. If you can’t do everything you want and are afraid of what others might think, put on a mask, use an alias and run off someplace and dance. Life does not have to be dull, but if you want the sizzle you are going to have to jump in the frying pan once in awhile.

At least do something for yourself this weekend, you deserve a reward.

~~~

Perhaps the reward of the spirit who tries is not the goal but the exercise.

E. V. Cooke

~~~

While a small child, I once became lost at the mall.

I found a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents.

After searching for some time, I said to him through tears, “Do you think we’ll ever find them?”

He said, “I don’t know kid. It’s a big mall, and there are so many places they can hide.”

~~~

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.”

Wayne Dyer

~~~

A college student has been thrown out of his apartment for not paying his rent, so he sends an e-mail to his father.

“Please send money. I’m in the street.”

The father replies, “Have no money. Watch out for cars.”

~~~

Love doesn’t really make the world go round, but it makes the ride worthwhile.

~~~

ComputerTerms

586: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

State-of-the-art: Any computer you can’t afford.

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, “Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.”

Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.

GUI (pronounced “gooey”): What your computer becomes after spilling your pop on it.

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

~~~

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

~~~

An old Jewish man, Mr. Goldberg, dies and his family is planning the funeral. The local rabbi, they discover, is on a trip to Israel. After many telephone calls, they manage to reach a rabbi from the next town; he agrees to officiate at the funeral the next day. After chanting the “Kaddish” and “El Molay Rachamim” the rabbi begins his eulogy.

“We are here to mourn the passing of our friend, Mr. Goldberg, a respected citizen and honored member of the community,” Suddenly, an old man jumps up and says, “What are you talking about, Rabbi? This man was a gonnif, a momzer, and would cheat his own grandmother for fifty cents!

“The rabbi decides to take another approach, “We are here to mourn the passing of our friend Mr. Goldberg, a patron of the synagogue and dedicated Talmudic scholar.”

Again the old man jumps up and says, “Are you meshuggeh, Rabbi? This man hasn’t been in a shul since his bar mitzvah!”

Again, the rabbi begins his eulogy, “We are here to mourn the passing of our friend, Mr. Goldberg, a loving husband and dedicated father.” Once again the old man jumps up and says, “Rabbi, you obviously didn’t know Goldberg. He cheated on his wife whenever he could and he never had time to spend with his children!”

At this point, the rabbi is at a loss for words. Finally, he says, “My friends, have we not as Jews suffered from the insults and prejudices of our neighbors? Must we stoop to their level and speak ill of our own people? Surely, there is someone in this congregation who knew Mr. Goldberg and can say something good and kind about his life.”

After an entire minute of silence, the old man stands up again and says, “His brother was worse!”

~~~

Heredity is something parents comfortably believe in, if they have a bright child.

~~~

A mouse returned to his cage from the laboratory and told a fellow mouse, “I’ve finally got Dr. Snooker trained.”

“You have?” asked the other.

“Yes, explained the first mouse. “Every time I press down a bar, he gives me food.”

~~~

Happiness is the place between too little and too much.

~~~

A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells “Give me a beer, or…!”

Scared, the bartender serves the man his beer. This happens everyday for a week  straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it.

The next day, the hooligan returns.

“Give me a beer, or…!”

“O-o-o-o-r-r-r w-what?” stammers the bartender.

“A small Coke.”

~~~

She said: I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, I commented, “I don’t think that is going to help.”

“Sure it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers…”

~~~

The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

It is up to you

Ray’s Daily

May 11, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”

Steve Maraboli

Good morning my friends. I have been thinking a lot lately about how we can find ways to do more for ourselves and others. As we age it provides us more time to be who we would like to be. All it takes is taking control of our time and use what we have to make our tomorrows worthwhile.

I have an amazing good friend who recently had a hip operation that would have slowed most of us down, but not her.  Her optimism and will have combined to provide a speedy recovery. All of us need to be as forward looking as she is.

Here some tips from Angel Chernoff that reminded me of what we can do for ourselves.

1. If you don’t allow yourself to learn and grow from the experience — from what was said, done, and felt — you will always look at your life through the same old lens. Realize this. In many ways, what you do today matters more than what happened yesterday.

2. Calmness does not mean to be in a space where there is no chaos, trouble, or hard realities to deal with. Calmness means to be in the midst of all those things and still remain mentally, emotionally and physically centered.

3. Breathe. Be where you are. You’ve been broken down dozens of times and put yourself back together again. Think about how remarkable that is, and how far you’ve come. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even yesterday. You’re always growing… stronger!

4. As you journey forward, remember that the the way people see and treat you is their problem, how you respond is yours. So never regret the kindness and respect you have shown to the wrong people. Your behavior says everything about you, and their behavior says more than enough about them.

5. The fundamental goal right now is to gradually change your response to what you can’t control. To grow stronger on the inside, so that almost nothing on the outside can affect your inner peace and wellness without your conscious permission.

~~~

“The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing.”

Michael E. Gerber

~~~

“Yes,” answered the suspect.

“And what did you steal?”

“A dress, Your Honor,” replied the subject.

“One dress?” echoed the judge. “But you admit breaking in four times!”

“Yes, Your Honor,” sighed the suspect. “But three times my wife didn’t like the color.”

~~~

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo Buscaglia

~~~

A man took his old duck to the Veterinarian, concerned because the duck wouldn’t eat. The Vet explained to the man that as ducks age their upper bills grow down over their lower bills, and make it difficult for the animal to pick up it’s food.

“What you need to do is gently file the upper bill down, even with the lower bill. But you must be extra careful because the duck’s nostrils are located in the upper bill and if you file down too far, when the duck takes a drink of water it’ll drown.”

The man goes about his business and about a week later the Vet runs into his patient.

“Well, how is that duck of yours?” the Vet inquires.

“He’s dead.” declared the heartbroken man.

“I told you not to file his upper bill down too far!

He took a drink of water and drowned didn’t he?” insisted the Vet.

“No.” lamented the man. “I think he was dead before I took him out of the vise.”

~~~

People who cough incessantly never seen to go to the doctor, they go to banquets, concerts, and church.

~~~

“I’m prescribing these pills for you,” said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds. “I don’t want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time….”

~~~

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.”

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. “Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!” she screams.

Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: “Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position”

“I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front”

~~~

“Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.”

William Makepeace Thackeray

~~~

David wasn’t feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked.

After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “Well David, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking.”

“I see,” said David. “Well, to be honest with you Doc, let’s go with second best.’

~~~

The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something.

Chauncey Depew

~~~

Jewish Mothers don’t differ from any other in the world when it comes to bragging about their sons.  One Mother, trying to out-do another when it came to opportunities available to their just graduated-from-college sons said, “My Irving has had so many fine interviews, his resume is now in its fifth printing.”

~~~

We should all swap problems; everyone knows how to solve the other fellow’s.

~~~

I was visitin’ over at the old Perfesser’s, when little Maury came over, tugged on my pants leg and excitedly exclaimed, “I got a new bicycle, do you want to see it?”

I said, “Sure, little Maury.”

So off to the backyard we went. When we got there, I saw his brand new bicycle.

“Boy, Maury!! That’s a beautiful bicycle,” I complimented. “Can you ride it?”

“Yeah, I can ride it,” he said, then with a sad face he pouted, “but it’s broke.”

I looked at the new bicycle and couldn’t see anything wrong with it, so I asked him, “Well, what’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know,” little Maury shrugged, “but every time I ride it, it falls down!”

~~~

“My will shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.”

Elaine Maxwell

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Don’t Quit

Ray’s Daily

May 10, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Quitters don’t win and winners don’t quit.”

Elliott Gould

It seems like it has become too easy to procrastinate to the point where I don’t get done all I should do when I should do it. Most of the time what I put off gets done, but not as soon as I would like. The important thing is to not delay to the point that things don’t get done.

Here is a poem I think I sent you before that reminds me not to quit.

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low but the debts are high,

And you want to smile but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit…

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many failures turn about

When we might have won had we stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow…

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor’s cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

                              Edgar A. Guest

~~~

“Winners are not people who never fail. They are people who never quit.”

~~~

A guy goes into the doctor’s office. There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril, and a cucumber in the other ear.

The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you’re not eating right”

~~~

Leadership is doing what is right when no one is watching.

George Van Valkenburg

~~~

While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.

As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine,” I said, touched by her concern.

“Oh, good,” she continued.  “So will you be vacating your parking space now?”

~~~

The only receipt you don’t save is the only one you’ll need later.

~~~

Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, Whats the matter now? Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer, said little Johnny through his tears.

That’s not so serious, soothed his mother. I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?

I did! sobbed Johnny.

~~~

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

Alex Levine

~~~

Dear Grandson:

I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen everyday.

As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention.

When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn’t like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.

After such a busy day, I’m really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life. Oh yes, I’m also flirting with Al Zymer.

Love, Grandma

P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him, “Oh I do it all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself, “Now, what am I here after?”

~~~

“Nothing I ever want to accomplish will ever become a reality if I always quit.”

Michelle A. Homme

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Serving Others

Ray’s Daily

May 9, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

He who serves the most, reaps the most.

Jim Rohn

Ray’s Daily first published on May 9, 2005

Here we go, another Monday. I hope you had a great weekend, I did. One of the highlights was hearing from someone who had been gone from the US for sometime, most recently she was on assignment in Egypt. She is a dedicated public health doctor who has now returned to the US and is assisting one of our major cities in their planning for minimizing the effects of a biological terrorist attack.

Besides hearing from Mary and others of you (always a joy), I got to work Saturday as a volunteer at a Special Olympics meet. Two sixth grade girls and I had the job of preparing ribbons for all the participants, the ribbons were presented to the athletes in an awards ceremony after they completed an event. The girls were faster than I and probably smarter. The experience was a double win. First for getting the opportunity to participate in something that is so meaningful to the competitors, they are all great, what they lack in physical and mental skill is way offset by their good hearts. The second thing was the chance I had to spend a little time with a couple of smart caring kids.

Sunday was focused on three-quarters of our family joining together in search of a restaurant that would let ten of us in for Mother’s Day brunch. Today is a full day too, I am scheduled from seven this morning until seven tonight. Of course I won’t be as busy as my doctor friend Annie; she is on hospital rotation in the Intensive Care Unit. I have told you before she is of good heart, and truly provides health care while deeply caring for her patients, it is not easy. My favorite cardiac nurse is back today from a convention in New Orleans where she spent all of her time working and learning, and if you believe that I have something to sell you, now she has to settle back down and manage her staff and do some work. Besides all that one of the Christina’s is off to Poland for a couple of weeks to do whatever it is she does.

Have you noticed these are all females? I do have male friends I just don’t know anything exciting that they are doing at the moment. So let’s do it. Let’s shake some things up this week.

~~~

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

M. Twain

~~~

I thought the word service meant “The act of doing things for other people.”

Then I heard these terms:

• Internal Revenue Service

• Postal Service

• Telephone Service

• Civil Service

• City/County Public Service

• Customer Service

• Service Stations

Then today, I overheard two farmers talking and one said he had hired a bull to “service” a few of his cows. It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those “service” agencies are doing to us.

~~~

The ultimate test of a man’s conscience may be his willingness to sacrifice something today for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.

Gaylord Nelson

~~~

Becky is having lunch with Hannah.

Becky says, “My Morris is just impossible. Absolutely nothing pleases him. Tell me, Hannah, is your Harold hard to please?”

Hannah shrugs and replies, “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never tried.”

~~~

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. It could be a right number.

~~~

The lady lawyer approached the jury box and began an eloquent plea for her client: “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I want to tell you about this man.  There’s so much to say that is good: he never beat his mother; he was always kind to little children; he never did a dishonest thing in his life; he has always lived by the golden rule; he is a model of everything decent, forthright, and honest.

Everyone loves him and. . . “

Her client leaned over to a friend and said, “How do like that bitch?  I pay her good dough to defend me, and she’s telling the jury about some other guy.”

~~~

“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.”

Laurence J. Peter

~~~

My friend, Mike, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store (near the cash registers), when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run.

After a scuffle, Mike pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him.

“Everything’s fine, folks,” he reassured them…

“This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than ten items.”

~~~

There is no right way to do a wrong thing.

~~~

A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire.

There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: “Ah, he’s not that friendly. That’s his bowl you’re using.”

~~~

One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford

~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service,

“And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

~~~

It pays to know the enemy – not least because at some time you may have the opportunity to turn him into a friend.

Margaret Thatcher

~~~

Madge: I do believe in sex on the first date.

Ethel: That’s pretty modern thinking for an 80 year old woman.

Madge: Well, you can never be sure of a 2nd date with an 80 year old man!

~~~

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”

Erma Bombeck

~~~

Sam Tinkleman sat on the examining table in the office of Dr. Rosenstein, the world-famous urologist.

“My trouble,” said Tinkleman, “is that I can’t pee.”

“How old are you?” asked the doctor.

Tinkleman said, “I’m one hundred and three.”

“Well,” said Rosenstein, “you peed enough!”

~~~

In the end, nothing we do or say in this lifetime will matter as much as the way we have loved one another.

Daphne Rose Kingman

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Take it easy

Ray’s Daily

May 6, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Sometimes it’s important to work for that pot of gold.  But other times it’s essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.

Douglas Pagels

Ray’s Daily first published on May 6, 2005

~~~

I honestly think the real secret to success, both on the job and in life is the ability to just stop, drop out, and spend a little time with and for yourself. Later this morning I will be having breakfast with someone who is an achiever, she is dedicated, works hard and does good things, unfortunately never taking enough time for herself.

You know the feeling, I will be able to take some time this weekend, or after this project, or as soon as things lighten up. Lo and behold the weeks and months go by with no relief. The sad part is that most of us do much better when we keep things in balance, take some time for ourselves, and just rest once in awhile. I know it was always easier to come back to work than it was to never leave it. Maybe what a guy by the name of Will Pate wrote recently will help those who could use a reason to lighten up.

~~~

After 8 months as an entrepreneur I’m ready to give up on trying to squeeze more working hours out of the day. I’m absolutely convinced of the value of rest and recreation time. Without proper R&R the human mind experiences the law of diminishing returns; you simply cannot get more than 8 good hours of work out of a day. Intellectual and creative atrophy set in and work gets sloppy, details are missed and little overall progress is made. It’s a question of quality over quantity.

If I had a meeting the next day, I used to stay up as late as it took to get the work necessary done and then drag my corpse out of bed as late as possible the next day. Practice proved this was a bad idea. Now I do some personal reading, listen to something pleasing and drift off to sleep earlier than the returning bar hound. I get up early, do a little blog reading to get myself into the mental groove and start working. If inspiration strikes I do a little blogging as I sip (instead of chugging) coffee and listen to CBC Radio 3. I cut off work around 5 or 6 and then avoid the computer for the rest of the evening.

Weekends can be a chance for deeper renewal. This past weekend I went on a spiritual retreat, properly dubbed the “Weekend of Awesome”. Sure I lost some sleep but I made new friends, grew closer with older buds and played video games until my fingers hurt. The entire weekend I made a resolution to keep work out of my mind. Consequently, I’ve never been more ready to start the work week on a Monday morning.

~~~

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.

  J. Lubbock

~~~

What to say to phone solicitors who call to sell you credit cards, vacation packages, etc.:

The police photographer is still here, and the county medical examiner hasn’t released the body to the coroner yet. Can you call back a little later?

What’s that you say? Speak up, please, will you? The battery has run down on my hearing aid. Louder, please, louder. Is that the best you can do? I’m afraid we’re just not communicating.

I’m gonna have to put you on hold. The baby is due any minute now. Quick someone, get some hot water. Lots of it. Sorry, gotta hurry now, don’t go away.

Oh, it’s you again. I was hoping you’d call back. The better business people said I need more positive identification to file my complaint.  Now first let me have your name and telephone number…

~~~

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

READ SLOWLY—-IT MAY TAKE A WHILE FOR THE LIGHT TO SHINE, BUT THESE ARE RATHER CLEVER!

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds

2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do
3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage
4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with
5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate
6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living
8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist
9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does
10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money
11. MISTY: How golfers create divots
12. PARADOX: Two physicians
13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm
15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with
16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring
18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife
19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does
20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

~~~

The younger we are the more we want to change the world.  The older we are the more we want to change the young.

~~~

An attendant on a cross-country flight nervously announced: “I don’t know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners.” When the passengers’ muttering had died down, she continued, “Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat will receive free drinks for the length of the flight.”

Her next announcement came an hour later.  “If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 29 dinners available!”

~~~

Whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.

Swedish Proverb

~~~

A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: “We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work properly in case of emergency. If you are unable to hear this announcement, please contact us.”  

~~~

Joyce:   I’ve been asked to get married hundreds of times.

Gloria:  (surprised) really?!  By whom?

Joyce:  My parents.

~~~

A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his order. Feeling lonely, he replied, “Meat loaf and a kind word.”

When the waiter returned with the meat loaf, the man said, “Where’s the good word?”

The waiter put down the meat loaf and sighed, bent down, and whispered, “Don’t eat the meat loaf.”

~~~

If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me

~~~

It was a difficult subject to bring before his aged mother, but Morris felt that he must.  “Mom, you are no longer a spring chicken and you do need to think ahead of what will happen in the future.  Why don’t we make arrangements about when….. you know… when…. God Forbid …you pass on?”

The mother didn’t say anything, just sat there staring ahead.

“I mean, Momma, like…. how do you want to finally go? To be buried? Cremated?”

There was yet another long pause.  Then the mother looked up and said, “Son, why don’t you simply surprise me?”

~~~

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

William Henry Davies

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Caring Friends

Ray’s Daily

May 5, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”

Tennessee Williams

I have met some famous folks over the years but none have impressed me more then the everyday people I have met along the way. These have been people who sincerely care for others. I am sure you too have those you respect and care for. Let’s never forget these good people for the enrich or lives.

Who really cares

The people who make a difference

Please take a moment to answer these questions:

Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

Name the last five recipients of the Australian of the Year Award.

Name the last five winners of the Miss World contest.

Name ten people who have won the Nobel Peace prize.

Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

Name the winners of the last five World Series Cricket Series.

How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers, they are the best in their fields. But the applause dies, awards tarnish and achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another set of questions. See how you do with these:

List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

Name a few people whose stories have inspired you.

Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Was this a little easier to complete?

So what is the message?

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care. If you agree please pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life.

Author Unknown

~~~

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”

Khalil Gibran

~~~

Every morning Custer rode through the Indian Reservation on his horse accompanied by his faithful Indian scout. And every morning as he rode past the Indian chief he was greeted with the gesture of first a finger raised vertically – then the finger thrust horizontally.

Eventually Custer said to his scout “I know what the chief means by the vertical finger, but what’s the significance of the horizontal one?”

The scout replied “Chief, him no like your horse either!”

~~~

Noah was a trusting soul. Imagine going out in a wooden boat with two termites on board.

~~~

What we say, what we mean

Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforeseen difficulties–We got so sick of working on this that we decided to do something else.

Major Technological Breakthrough–Back to the drawing board.

Developed after years of intensive research–It was discovered by accident.

Customer satisfaction is believed assured–We are so far behind schedule that the customer will be happy to get anything at all from us.

The design will be finalized in the next reporting period–We haven’t started this job yet, but we’ve got to say something.

Test results were extremely gratifying–It works, and are we surprised.

Extensive effort is being applied on a fresh approach to the problem–We just hired three new guys; we’ll let them kick it around for a while.

Preliminary operational tests are inconclusive–The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

The entire concept will have to be abandoned–The only guy who understood the thing quit.

Modifications are under way to correct certain minor difficulties–We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.

~~~

If you wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes. If you don’t wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes.

African proverb

~~~

At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day’s lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.

“Mr. Goldblatt,” announced little Joey, “there’s somethin’ I can’t figger out.”

“What’s that Joey?” asked Goldblatt.

“Well accordin’ to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?”

“Right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?”

“Er–right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel fought the ‘gyptians, an’ the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an’ the Children of Israel wuz always getting in trouble somewhere, right?”

“Er, yes, you could say that,” agreed Goldblatt. “So what’s your question?”

“What I wanna know is this,” demanded Joey. “What wuz all the grown-ups doin”?

~~~

Women have many faults.

Men only have 2

Everything they say,

And everything they do.

~~~

This will make you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing two dollars.

Her mother said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar “pay” she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account for her.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, “I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us.”

My goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”

The little girl replied, “I will if those jerks at Home Depot ever deliver the darned sheet rock!”

~~~

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

~~~

Tax Day, April 15, was looming when an elderly lady appeared at my desk at the IRS.  She said she required a thick stack of tax forms.

“Why so many?” I asked.

“My son is stationed overseas,” she said.  “He asked me to pick them up.”

“You shouldn’t have to do this,” I told her.  “It’s the base commander’s job to make sure the troops have the forms they need.”

“I know,” she replied.  “I’m the base commander’s mother.”

~~~

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

Audrey Hepburn

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

We can do it

Ray’s Daily

May 4, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Problems are not the problem; coping is the problem.

Virginia Satir

There is a lot going on these days rhat we can not change, It is up to us to deal with what we encounter. Me, I tend to ignore what I can’t influence while concentrating on what I can do. It is not always easy but staying focused on making our days as trouble free as they can be is worth the effort.

I may have shared the following before but if I did I thnk it still is worth a reread.

6 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Go of the Uncontrollable

1. On the average day, most people make themselves unhappy simply by finding it impossible to accept life just as it is presenting itself.

2. If you worry too much about what might be, and wonder too long about what might have been, you will ignore and completely miss what is.

3. The secret to getting ahead is to focus all of your energy not on fixing and fighting the old, but on building and growing something new.

4. Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about something or someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only thing you really have control over is yourself in this moment.

5. In most cases, you can’t calm the storm – it’s not worth trying. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will pass.

6. There is absolutely nothing about your present circumstances that prevents you from making progress, one tiny step at a time…

Think about how these points relate to your life right now.

Your present response is often far more powerful than your present circumstance. A part of your life is unquestionably decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, yet the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses to these kinds of circumstances.

Thus, the goal isn’t to get rid of all your painful thoughts, feelings or life circumstances. Because that’s impossible. The goal is to change your response to them starting today.

Once you begin to value your inner peace over your need to hold on, engage, react, or be right, you will in fact begin to feel more centered and whole (and in control). Truly, learning to let go of certain things and detach from certain people’s behavior, are two of the great paths to inner peace…

And yet, we collectively tend to hold on too tight!

Now imagine you pause, take a deep breath, and realize that there’s nothing nearby to hold on to. Just water around you. You can continue to struggle with grabbing at something that doesn’t exist… or you can accept that there’s only water around you, and relax, and float.

This is the process of letting GO. It can be liberating.

Angel Chernoff

~~~

Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

Virginia Satir

~~~

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales about himself in which he was the laughing-stock.

In one situation, he was waiting at a taxi stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he placed his suitcase in the car and took a seat next to it.

‘Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?’ asked the taxi driver.

Doyle was flabbergasted. He asked the driver whether he knew him by sight.

‘No, sir, I have never seen you before.’

The puzzled Doyle asked him how he knew he was Conan Doyle.

‘This morning’s paper had a story about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi-stand where people who return from Marseilles always come to. Your skin color tells me you have been on vacation. The ink-spot on your right index finger suggests to me that you’re a writer. Your clothing is very English, and not French. And so, I deduced that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.’

Doyle remarked, ‘This is truly amazing. You are a real-life counterpart to my fictional creation, Sherlock Holmes.’

‘There is one other thing,’ the driver said.

‘What is that?’

‘Your name is on the front of your suitcase.’

~~~

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.”

Beverly Sills

~~~

Funny Excerpts from Student Essays

Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.  

In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.  

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.  

The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted, “hurrah.” Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.  

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived at Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies, and errors.

In one of Shakespear’s famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.  

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn’t climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought with the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.  

~~~

I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.

Unknown

~~~

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys standing there holding a long list.

“Excuse me,” one of them explained, “we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar.”

“Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?”

“Our baby-sitter’s boyfriend.”

~~~

As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.

Marian Anderson

~~~

A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the blond jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway, I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, this big guy came in and said to me, “Hey pal, I’m blond and I don’t like you telling all those blond jokes!”  

So I said, “Well, they’re not against you, pal, just against anyone blond.”  

“My mother is blond!” He screams, and pulls out a razor.  

Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me, but luckily he couldn’t find a place to plug it in. 

~~~

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.

Havelock Ellis

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Keep an open mind

Ray’s Daily

May 3, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“A lively, disinterested, persistent liking for truth is extraordinarily rare. Action and faith enslave thought, both of them in order not to be troubled or inconvenienced by reflection, criticism or doubt.”

Henri Frederic Amiel

Ray’s Daily first published on May 3, 2006

~~~

I have really been troubled lately. I continue to get e-mail from people I hope are well meaning. They seem to be coming from everywhere including my Christian friends. Many use misstatements to tell me why I should hate the hardworking, polite, and competent counter person that works up the street. I don’t know if she is a citizen or not, I don’t know if she has a green card or not so it would be presumptuous on my part to assume she is an illegal alien.

I am told that the Mexican workers are living off welfare yet I read the data and it shows they are on welfare less often than the general population. I am told that the guys that work for our landscaping service and do such a good job are part of some burden on the criminal justice system. And yet when I look at the facts in our town that is not the case.

I don’t know how to tell who is a citizen and who is not. I do know I can judge those I come in contact with by what they do. Probably some are undocumented workers, but that gives me no excuse to treat them all as illegal. I lived through the period of hate that we experienced in the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. We were told that all blacks were bad, all Orientals a threat to our security, and more. The intolerance poisoned us and we paid a price. It can happen again if we succumb to the siren song of those who look for someone or something to blame for everything that happens, it is so much easier than having to learn and think for ourselves.

I know this will offend some, so be it, but I also know that most of our readers see people as individuals and not as people that should suffer undeserved hate. At the very least I would hope that everyone would avoid intolerance through learning the facts. It is too easy these days to find demigods who will reinforce our prejudices by feeding us only that which will fan the fires of our own prejudice.

And do you know what? intolerant jokes that are at the expense of race or nationality really are not funny they only define the author.

~~~

“The test of courage comes when we are in the minority.

The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.”

Ralph W. Sockman

~~~

Winters are fierce in northern Scotland, so the owner of the estate felt he was doing a good deed when he bought earmuffs for his foreman.

Noticing however that the foreman wasn’t wearing the earmuffs even on the bitterest day, the landlord asked, “Didn’t you like the muffs?”  

The foreman said, “They’re a thing of beauty.”   

“Why don’t you wear them?” asked the estate owner. 

The foreman explained, “I was wearing them the first day, but somebody offered to buy me a drink and I didn’t hear him!”

~~~

“I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strangely, I am ungrateful to these teachers”

Kahlil Gibran

~~~

The couple entered the resort’s swanky dining room. “I’m sorry,” apologized the Maitre d, “but there are no tables available.”  

“One moment, my friend,” said the man, drawing himself up. “I happen to be Gregory R. Carutheres, the sportsman.”  

“I’d like to accommodate you, Mr. Caruthers, but there just isn’t a table available this evening.”  

“I bet if President Bush came in and asked for a table, there’d be one available.”  

“Yes-s-s,” the other admitted, “I suppose there would be a table available for President Bush.”  

“Good! I’ll take it. The President isn’t coming!”  

~~~

My wife and I always compromise; I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

~~~

Why you shouldn’t respond to chain messages. . .

If you send this message off to 20 people within the next 4 days, and each of them send this letter off to 20 other people within 4 days…In 40 days, approximately 10 trillion of these messages will cross the Internet. From day 40 to day 44, an additional 200 trillion of these messages will cross the Internet, at an average of 50 trillion messages per day. From day 44 to 48, an additional 4,000 trillion of these messages will cross the Internet, at an average of 1,000 trillion messages a day, 41.7 trillion messages per hour, 694 billion messages per minute, or 11.6 billion messages per second.

Of course, the Internet will have ground to a complete halt way before then, and a good thing too, because by day 44 (assuming each man, woman and child in the world is tied to the Internet) you would have to respond to about 2 chain mail letters per second, sending off 20 responses each second, giving you 5/100 of a second to send each message. If you drop the ball, you will break about 1,800,000 chain letters per day, bringing almost two million times the bad luck upon yourself than if you broke the first chain letter to begin with.

The logical conclusion? It is better to break the initial chain letter and receive one dose of bad luck than to continue the chain letter, and by day 44, receive 1,800,000 doses of bad luck.

I knew one poor fellow who ended up in such a circumstance. He ended up having 287,345 heart attacks, losing 5,137 wives, got fired from at least 100,000 jobs, and was run over by a truck. His Visa card was also revoked. Nobody liked him anymore. He finally ended up committing suicide 459 times, but he was so unlucky, he was never successful. Finally, he resigned to the idea of not dying, and was immediately hit by a meteorite and vaporized. But his cells went on to experience even more bad luck.

~~~

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

Aristotle

~~~

On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of me. Learning that it was the couple’s 50th wedding anniversary, the flight attendant congratulated them and asked how they had done it.

“It all felt like five minutes…” the gentleman said slowly. The stewardess had just begun to remark on what a sweet statement that was when he finished his sentence with a word that earned him a sharp smack on the head: “..underwater.”

~~~

Never trust a man who says he’s the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.

~~~

Jill, being the “only buy-on-sale shopper,” beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman’s, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, “Hey Sonny boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?”

“That dress is $899.95, Madam,” sneered the rather snotty salesman.

“Oh!  For $99.95, I could get the same dress at S. Klein’s downtown!”

“But Madam,” said the salesman, “You’ll find that the dress at Klein’s is recycled wool.  This original is 100% pure virgin wool.”

And Jill replied, “So!  For $800, I should be caring what the lambs do at night?”

~~~

If you are losing a tug-of-war with a tiger, give him the rope before he gets to your arm. You can always buy a new rope.

Max Gunther

~~~

A joke for my generation:

A Sunday School teacher asked little Willie who the first man in the Bible was.

“Hoss.” said Willie.

“Wrong,” said the teacher. “It was Adam.”

“Aw, shucks!” Willie replied. “I knew it was one of those Cartwrights.”

~~~

“An inspired, concerned and loving society will dignify man; will find the ways to develop his talent; will put the fruits of his labor and intellect to effective use; will achieve brotherhood; eliminate bigotry and intolerance; will care for the indigent, the delinquent, the sick, the aged; seek the truth and communicate it; respect differences among man.”

James Rouse

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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