Ray's Daily

We love our super stars

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

Marcel Proust

As my wife and I age we find that there are some things that are far more difficult than they once were. Driving any distances is not the pleasure it once was in fact it can be a chore. These are the days when we limit our leisure activities to those things we can do near where we live.

I am not complaining as I am doing far better than most my age. One of my concerns is that the degree of difficulty on some of our mandatory household chores has risen dramatically, but fortunately there are a couple of super-heroes that regularly come to our aid.

This talented duo shows up and soon all our laundry has been washed, the bed linens have been changed, the yard picked up and much more. They even provide transportation to medical appointments while keeping track of where we should be and when we should be there. I really cannot adequately express how grateful I am that they are making our lives so much better that they would be if we were on our own.

Just who are these super stars? They are our two daughters. Both live close by and often engage their sidekick husbands in what needs to be done.

I do not have words adequate enough to express my gratitude to these wonderful women. We do love them.

Here is a piece that we all need to remember as we live on.

Think About This

• At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
• At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
• The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
• A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.
• Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
• You mean the world to someone.
• You are special and unique.
• When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
• Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
• Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
• If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great before it’s too late.

~~~

We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.”

John F. Kennedy

~~~

This guy was sitting in his attorney’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer said.

“Give me the bad news first.”

“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.”

“That’s the bad news?” asked the man incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.”

“The terrible news is that it’s of you and your secretary.”

~~~

“He knows so little and knows it so fluently.”

Ellen Glasgow

~~~

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris’ Last Will and Testament. “To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.

To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar.

To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.

And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill.”

~~~

Each one of us can work for a small change in the world around us.

Lamar S. Smith

~~~

A teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between ‘unlawful’ and ‘illegal’?” Only one hand shot up.

“Ok, answer, Joan,” said the teacher.

“‘Unlawful’ is when you do something the law doesn’t allow and ‘illegal’ is a sick eagle.”

~~~

It ain’t necessarily so, but when people with money meet people with experience, the people with experience tend to get the money and the people with the money tend to get experience.

Joe Klock

~~~

Linda was driving her old beat up car on the Highway with her 7 year old son. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her. After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind.

Linda looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. She waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, “Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?”

Her son piped up from the back seat, “I do… because you couldn’t catch the other cars!”

~~~

My wife is a person who is never outspoken.

~~~

A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn’t gotten the license number.  “What kind of car was he driving?” the husband asked. “I don’t know,” she said. “I never can tell one car from another.” At that, the man decided the time had come for a learning course, and so for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make. It worked.  About a week later she bounded in with a pleased expression on her face.

“Darling,” she said with obvious pride, “I just hit a brand new Buick!”

~~~

“Thought is action in rehearsal.”

Sigmund Freud

~~~

Everyone had weighed in, and our diet-workshop leader began her lecture on the week’s topic – the problems of dining out. She talked about alternatives, such as requesting diet sodas and dressings, and having meat broiled instead of fried. Finally she turned the question over to the group for discussion. “What is the greatest problem you encounter when going out to eat?”

Replied one woman quickly, “Running into you!”

~~~

No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn’t work anyway.

~~~

The bank where I work had just installed its first 24- hour cash machine. I encouraged an elderly gentleman to take an application for the new plastic identification cards, explaining that he would be able to get cash any time of day or night.

He declined, saying, “Lady, anything I’d need money for that late at night I shouldn’t be doing.”

~~~

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”

Voltaire

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Keep young friends

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

Marcel Proust

I won’t be able to work out this morning as I am off to an early dentist appointment in a close by city. I am also a little slow so I am sending you a copy of the Daily I wrote twelve years ago. I would say the same today.

Ray’s Daily first published on June 29, 2004

One of the things I am grateful for is the friends I have who are from a younger generation. I was thinking about why these younger friends have become some of my best friends. I think I may know the answer. If I talk about a breadbox, running board, Arty Shaw, Sarah Vaughn, Good Humor Bars or the like, their eyes glaze over, as do mine when they talk about contemporary artists, etc. In reality what we have in common is our interest in each other and our interest in the world around us, our conversations are not cluttered up by our generations culture and biases. I just wish that my time with other friends were as productive.

It gets even better when we discover we have the same values, that we listen to each other, and even often enjoy the same movies, food, and travel destinations. That is not to say they don’t have problems, we all do, but the problems seem to pale when we share them with each other. We can talk because we don’t have any hidden agendas or ulterior motives, what you see is what you get.

Usually their enthusiasm, optimism, and joy is contagious. The only problem I have with all this is that their youth spills over and I become younger, at least I feel I do. However I did have my doubts today when I got some new passport photos and discovered they must have given me someone else’s since I know I am not as old as the guy in the picture. I have decided to use them anyway so that people at passport control points will compliment me on getting over whatever problem I had when the picture was taken.

So those of you from my generation should consider going intergenerational. If you do you will find there are other things to talk about than just our medicines, what is wrong with the world, and all that other old guy stuff. But if you would rather not come out and play with us, that is OK, but don’t expect me to show up for the senior social.

~~~

Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty.

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

~ Franz Kafka ~

~~~

Becky: Do you love me with all your heart and soul?

Dave: Uh-huh!

Becky: Do you think I’m the most beautiful girl in the world?

Dave: Uh-huh!

Becky: Do you think my lips are like rose pedals?

Dave: Uh-huh!

Becky: Oh, you say the sweetest things!

~~~

Doug:  “I’m a man of few words.”

Bill:  “Yeah, I’m married, too.”

~~~

While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.

As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?” “No, I’m fine,” I said, touched by her concern. “Oh, good,” she continued. “So will you be vacating your parking space now?”

~~~

Wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.

~~~

A young man is reported to have approached the renowned composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (one of the great musical prodigies of all time), and asked, “Herr Mozart, I have the ambition to write symphonies and perhaps you can advise me how to get started.”

Mozart said, “The best advice I can give you is to wait until you are older and more experienced, and try your hand at less ambitious pieces to begin with.”

The young man looked astonished. “But, Herr Mozart, you your- self wrote symphonies when you were considerably younger than I.”

“Ah,” said Mozart, “but I did so without asking advice.”

~~~

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor was surprised…

~~~

These two Jewish men are sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in the Jewish section of town. They are talking among themselves in Yiddish. A Chinese waiter comes up and in fluent and impeccable Yiddish asks them if everything is okay, can he get them anything, and so forth.

The Jewish men are dumbfounded. “My God, where did he learn such perfect Yiddish?” they both think. After they pay the bill they ask the manager of the store, an old friend also fluent in Yiddish, “Where did your waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?”

The owner looks around and leans in so no one will hear and says, “Shhhh. He thinks we’re teaching him English.”

~~~

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.

~~~

Jon, Brian, and Amanpreet were all locked away in a mental institution for many many years.

One day, the head quack tells them that if they pass a test he wanted to administer to them, they’d be deemed mentally competent and free to leave the nut house. Should they fail, however, they’d be locked away for another five years of observation.

All three took the doc up on his offer.  The four of them went to the hospital’s indoor pool.  The pool was drained of water.  The doctor leads the patients up to the diving platform, some 60 feet in the air.

The doctor motions to Jon.  “Jump.”

Without hesitation, Jon leaps off the platform, right into the pool, breaking both arms in the process.

The doctor notes this on his clipboard and tells Brian, “Jump.”

Also without hesitation, Brian flies off the platform into the empty poll, breaking both of his legs.

After noting the results on his clipboard, the doctor tells Amanpreet, “Jump.”

Amanpreet shakes his head.  “Naw.  I don’t think so.”

The doctor notes this on his clipboard rather enthusiastically and says, “Congratulations, ‘Preet.  You’re a free man.  Just tell me one thing. Why didn’t you jump?”

“Easy,” Amanpreet says, “I can’t swim .”

~~~

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

~~~

A man, exiting a grocery store, was very surprised when a rather good-looking and perky young lady greeted him cheerfully by saying, “Good evening!” Her face was beaming. At least she was smiling until he gave her that “Who are you?” look. He couldn’t remember ever having seen her before.

Then, she obviously realized that a mistake had been made and apologized. She explained, “Oh, I’m so sorry. When I first saw you I thought you were the father of one of my children.” She walked on her way into the store.

The man was left staring dumbfounded after her. More than a bit puzzled, he thought to himself, “What is the world coming to, an attractive woman who doesn’t even keep track of what the father of her children look like.”

However, he was also a bit flattered that he might resemble one of her former suitors. But, also hoped that nobody overheard her saying that she mistook him for being the father of one of her children. A bit panicked, he then thought, “Could I possibly have forgotten a relationship?”

“Could  it be that I really fathered a child?” Still stunned, he walked to his car.

He still did not realize, of course, that she was a fifth-grade teacher at a local elementary school

~~~

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

It’s OK to be human

A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault.

John Henry Newman

I know I have shared with you my dislike for the unrealistic desire to be perfect that holds so many people back from doing what they could do. It helps to understand that we have not been put here to make others happy, rather we owe it to ourselves to do what we want to do and what we are capable of doing.

Yesterday Henrik Edberg of the Positivity Blog sent me the following article he just published. I think what he has to say is sound advice, I just wish more people allowed themselves to avoid the limits they set on themselves.

It’s OK to Be Human (You Don’t Have to Do Things Perfectly)

Perfectionism. It holds you back from actually getting all the way to done with a lot in life. It may hold you back from even trying to do something because you feel you have

to do it perfectly. And it tears your self-esteem apart. So what can you do about it?

Well, two things that have really helped me are:

Find a balance for yourself and set your own bar.

Instead of setting the bar for yourself – or letting other people set that bar – at an inhuman standard set it at a human level.

We all fail. We all have trouble reaching our goals sometimes. That is OK and very human.

Don’t obey the bar that someone else has set for you. They may have set it out of the goodness of their hearts – or not, to for example maximize profits – but if the old standards do not work for you then it is time to find a better standard for yourself.

So set your bar at a level where you feel motivated but where you do not have to achieve inhuman results to like yourself and to be satisfied.

Surround yourself with human standards.

Choose to take small steps week by week to rearrange your world so that it becomes more and more supportive of you.

Reduce or cut out media sources that make you feel worse or like you have to live up to perfect standards. Replace them with podcasts, blogs, books etc. filled with optimism and motivation but also kinder and more realistic expectations.

Do the same thing with the people in your life. Spend more time with people who are kind, who like to grow and like living a good life in a balanced, positive and mentally healthy way.

This is your life. You decide. So set and surround yourself with the standards that help you to both do good and to feel good.

~~~

“But I am learning that perfection isn’t what matters. In fact, it’s the very thing that can destroy you if you let it.”

Emily Giffin

~~~

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dog thinks, “Boyo, I’m in deep doo doo now.” (He was an Irish setter)…. Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, “Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?” Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. “Whew”, says the leopard. “That was close. That dog nearly had me.”

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine.”

Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn’t seen them yet. And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, “Where’s that monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he’s still not back!!”

~~~

Love your neighbor, just don’t get caught.

~~~

Doug and Bill were at the racetrack.

Doug says, “You know, if you win $600 on a race, the track tells the government.”

Bill says, “Well it could be worse.”

Doug replies, “What could be worse than telling the government you won $600.”

Bill sighs, “Telling your wife.”

~~~

Age always corresponds inversely to the size of your multi-vitamin.

~~~

“Say, Bill,” a man said to his pal, “how do you like your new job?”

“It’s the worst job I ever had.”

“How long have you been there?”

“About three months.”

“Why don’t you quit?”

“No way.  This is the first time in 20 years that I’ve looked forward to going home.”

~~~

“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.”

Ben Franklin

~~~

While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy.  She also had her seven-year-old son with her.  Everyone gathered around the baby, and the little boy asked, “Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?”

“What do you say?” she asked.

Respectfully, the boy replied, “You’re thin and beautiful.”

The woman reached in her purse and gave her son the money.

~~~

“God help the man who won’t marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her.”

~~~

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So which six items would you like to buy?”

~~~

“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.”

Michael Law

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Stop running so fast

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.

Socrates

Years ago I told the head of one of my states most important departments that the reason I thought she should take a vacation was because she didn’t think she could, she had too much work to do. I convinced her and she took a short vacation to the Bahamas and came back refreshed and substantially more efficient then she was before she left.

I too have often deluded myself in the past thinking that I was too important and too busy to relax and take care of myself. Of course it usually was a mistake. In effect I was too busy to do what I needed to do. I know that the quality of our work and even our lives suffer when we are too rushed to do our best.

Here is a recent article written by Alexandra Franzen that is worth reading as she knows what will make our lives more livable.

When you “don’t have time” is when you need it most of all.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!!!”

I’m late for my scheduled workout, rushing, frizzle-frazzled, scrambling to lace up my sneakers and fix my hair into a ponytail and fill up my water bottle all at the same time, wishing I had octopus arms to wrangle everything in my life eight times faster.

I pour out a whirlwind of apologies — crazy week, too much to do, writing deadlines, and oh, that restaurant that somehow I’m running now on the weekends. Free time: nonexistent. Sanity: tenuous.

“Are you OK? Do you have time to work out twice a week like we planned?” Justin asks me, concerned, picking up on my frenzied state of mind.

The hysterical part of me wants to say, “NO!! OBVIOUSLY I DON’T HAVE TIME!”

But the calmer, smarter part of me replies, “Yes. I have time. I mean, I don’t have time. But I’ll make the time. I need this.”

There’s an anonymous quote I found on the Internet once: “If you don’t make time for fitness now, you will have to make time for sickness later.” The same could be said for many things that we struggle to “make time” for: sleep, art projects, rest, time off, travel, touch, quality time with loved ones. Neglecting those basic necessities carries a high price tag, sooner or later.

Back at the gym: I finish my workout and walk back to my car feeling calm, clear and strong. I return to my computer and settle into my desk. My to-do list hasn’t gotten any shorter, of course. I still have a mountain of things to do. Yet somehow, post-workout, my workload feels more manageable. My gym visit didn’t ruin or derail my too-busy-day. Just the opposite. It centered me so that I could finish my day successfully.

The funny irony is that just when you think you “don’t have time” for fitness (sleep, touch, a meal, a deep breath, five minutes of quiet, etc.) that’s exactly when you need it most of all.

Hopefully I will remember that, the next time I am hysterically thinking about skipping yoga because I’m just-tooooo-busy-omg.

Taking care of myself is never a waste of time.

~~~

“I wanted to figure out why I was so busy, but I couldn’t find the time to do it.”

Todd Stocker

~~~

Students attending a prestigious Medical School were asked to define the following terms:

Antibody: Against everyone.

Artery: The study of fine paintings.

Bacteria: Back door to a cafeteria.

Cardiology: Advance study of poker playing.

Coma: Punctuation mark.

Enema: Not a friend.

False Labor: Pretending to work.

Gallbladder: Bladder in a girl.

Menopause: I no wait.

Microbes: Small dressing gowns.

Protein: In favor of teens.

Tablet: Small table.

~~~

“Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it.”

Sam Levenson

~~~

A Sunday School teacher asked her pupils, “Now, children, do you all say your prayers at night?” Little Johnny’s hand shot up, “Miss, My Mommy says my prayers.” “Oh, I see,” said the teacher, “and what does your Mother say?” “THANK GOD HE’S IN BED!” says little Johnny.

~~~

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells “You should have been here at 8:30!” he replies: “Why? What happened at 8:30?”

~~~

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they’d say “Thank you.” That graduated into “Have a nice day.” That’s now escalated into “You care of yourself, now.” The other day I paid my check – the waiter said, “Don’t put off that mammogram.”

Rita Rudner

~~~

Sharon tells her best friend Ruth, “I’ve broken off my engagement to Monty.”

“Oh Sharon,” says Ruth, “I’m so sorry. Why?”

“Because my feelings towards Monty have changed – they just aren’t the same anymore,” replies Sharon.

“So tell me,” whispers Ruth, “are you giving him back the engagement ring?”

“No I’m not,” replies Sharon, “my feelings towards the ring haven’t changed.”

~~~

“They say that guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don’t think you’d kill too many people.”

Eddie Izzard

~~~

When I was introduced to a couple visiting our congregation, I decided to remember their names by noting they were the same as those of two characters in a popular children’s story.

After the services I stopped to talk to them, and as they were saying goodbye I teased, “Be careful going up that hill! But you must get that all the time.”

They smiled politely but said nothing. After they left, my wife asked, “What was that all about?”

“Jack and Jill. Up the hill. Remember?” I said.

“Yes, but what does that have to do with,” she pointed to the couple, “Dick and Jane?”

~~~

“The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.”

T S Eliot

~~~

A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to church. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the pastor went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the pastor asked, “Why after all these years don’t we see you at services anymore?”

The old man lowered his voice. “I’ll tell you, reverend,” he whispered. “When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must’ve forgotten about me, and I don’t want to remind Him!”

~~~

“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.”

Lin Yutang

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Good Night

Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.

Thomas Dekker

One of the best benefits of my life in the last ten years or so has been how much I have enjoyed my periods of sleep. I am one of the lucky ones who is soon asleep once my head hits the pillow. I usually sleep seven hours or so at night often interrupted by a couple of early morning hours on the computer. I also sneak in an hour or two napping each day.

I am regularly entertained by my interesting dreams, many which renew acquaintances with long gone friends. My dreams are filled with adventures that are much less risky than if I was doing similar things while awake.

I think my ability to sleep as well as I do is a big contributor to my sense of wellbeing. I also break a lot of the rules we have learned about how to sleep so I was glad to read the following article.

8 Things You Need to Stop Believing About Sleep

By Macaela Mackenzie

We’re supposed to spend one third of our lives catching zzzs, so we’ve had enough experience at this point to call ourselves bona fide experts. But some of our most basic assumptions—REM sleep is the most important; if you’re waking up in the middle of the night, you’re not sleeping well; you shouldn’t sleep with the TV on—aren’t exactly true. We asked the real sleep experts to pull back the curtain on our biggest misconceptions. Get their take below.

You can get by on less than seven hours per night.

“Some rare people truly can, but the overwhelming majority need the proper seven to eight hours that we recommend. The initial consequences may be subtle, such as slightly delayed reaction time, increased irritability, or craving more junk food. Long term, the consequences of lack of sleep can be higher blood pressure and increased risk of cardiovascular disease and diabetes.”

Waking up in the middle of the night means you’re not sleeping well.

“The truth is that we go through stages and cycles of sleep throughout the night, and it’s normal to wake up (briefly) between cycles. If you feel relatively rested during the day, waking up to roll over a few times a night is probably not a reason to worry.”

You get sleepy when you’re bored.

“Boredom unmasks existing sleep deprivation but does not make you sleepy on its own.”

Sleeping with the TV on is a big no-no.

“I personally have the TV on every night as I fall asleep. I’m probably the only sleep doctor in the universe who will say that it’s OK for a few reasons. Number one is that most TVs have sleep timers, so they will turn off in the middle of the night, and number two is that the blue light emitted by the TV is extremely limited. Television is often used as a distraction, and we want to do something that’s calming, relaxing, and distracting as we prepare to go to sleep.”

High achievers don’t need to sleep a lot.

“Sleep is for everyone. Is crucial for optimal performance and physical and mental health. High achievers appear to need less sleep, but so far this is limited to anecdotal evidence. In fact, scientific investigations have shown that in children and adolescents, more sleep is associated with better school performance.”

The brain rests while you sleep.

“Sleep is not only important for the brain but also for the body. A recent study showed that fat cells taken from the abdominal area respond differently to insulin following a period of sleep loss, suggesting that sleep may be an important regulator of energy metabolism in peripheral tissues. Plus, there are stages during sleep when the brain is quite active—as active as it is during waking hours.”

REM sleep is the deepest and most important phase.

“This is not true. Slow wave sleep is by far the deepest stage. This is considered to be restorative sleep. It is also the stage of sleep in which most of your growth hormone is secreted—it is secreted in bursts throughout the day, but there is a very large release about an hour after sleep onset during SWS.”

All sleep is created equal.

“Overweight people who snore, for example, may not even realize that their sleep is very disturbed. They may think they get enough sleep and don’t understand why they feel tired during the day. The same applies to alcohol: It can help you get to sleep, but the normal pattern of sleep will be disturbed, and you may not get enough deep sleep. So your time in bed may be OK, but sleep duration is not.”

~~~

We are such stuff as dreams are made on; and our little life is rounded with a sleep.

William Shakespeare

~~~

Myrddin had gotten a part time job at the Post Office and the supervisor there had been warned that he was somewhat of a dullard, but the supervisor took a liking to him and agreed to let Myrddin help him.  If nothing else, he would be an extra set of hands.

The supervisor gives Myrddin the job of sorting, and much to everyone’s surprise, Myrddin separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur.  Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Myrddin at the end of the day.

“I just want you to know,” he said, “that we’re all very proud of you. You’re one of the fastest workers we have ever had.”

“Thank you,” said Myrddin, “and tomorrow I’ll try to do even better.”

“Better?” the supervisor asked with astonishment.  “How can you possibly do better?”

Myrddin replied, “Tomorrow I am going to read the addresses.”

~~~

Customer:  I’d like to try on that dress in the window.

Saleslady:  I’m sorry, madam; you’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.

~~~

She said: I feel it is my duty to warn everyone of a major problem, one that endangers lives, damages property and causes untold misery, a growing menace that can be summed up in three words: men doing laundry.

At first glance, MDL may not seem like a big problem, especially to members of the female species, who generally prefer MDL to WDL. But the evidence is overwhelming, as the Obama Administration might say.  MDL has resulted in millions of discolored clothes, billions of missing socks, and countless broken relationships.

Wife: “Did you remember to separate the clothes before washing them?”

Husband: “Yes, of course I did.  I put the whites at the bottom and the colors on top.”

Wife: “You idiot, you were supposed to wash them separately. You obviously don’t know what separation means, but trust me, you’re about to find out!”

~~~

Unshared joy is an unlighted candle.

-Spanish Proverb

I think this is one of life’s great truths.

It is sad that so many unshared moonlit nights are now lost forever.

Ray

~~~

The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest of his family who were waiting for the news: “We had twins!”

The family was so excited they immediately asked, “Who do they look like?”

The father paused, smiled, and said, “Each other.”

~~~

“A lot of guys think the larger a woman’s breasts are, the less intelligent she is. I don’t think it works like that. I think it’s the opposite. I think the larger a woman’s breasts are, the less intelligent men become.”

Anita Wise

~~~

May sleep envelop you as a bed sheet floating gently down, tickling your skin and removing every worry. Reminding you to consider only this moment.

Jeb Dickerson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Ready Set Go

We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves, otherwise we harden.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I wish more of us realized that it is never over until it is over. I worry about many of the people I know around my age who seem to just stop living. I know somedays are harder for me than others to get started to do what I want to do that day but I know there is plenty for me if I just get moving.

I find that every day provides an opportunity to find enjoyment if we just take advantage of what is there for us, I find that no matter how old we are there is always an opportunity to do something new or at least to do something we would like to do.

So my friends I hope you will see each day as giving you the opportunity for renewal versus one filled with resignation. Just don’t give up, there are plenty of days left, don’t waste them.

Want to begin again? If you do read the following.

Begin Again

By Bill Greerl

One of the best things we can do in our lives is this:  Begin again. Begin to see yourself as you were. When you were the happiest and strongest you’ve ever been.  Begin to remember what worked for you (and what worked against you),  And try to capture the magic again.

Begin to remember how natural it was when you were a child — To live a lifetime each day. Begin to forget the baggage you have carried with you for years: The problems that don’t matter anymore, The tears that cried themselves away, And the worries that are going to wash away on the shore of tomorrow’s new beginnings.

Tomorrow tells us it will be here every new day of our lives; And if we will be wise, we will turn away from the problems of the past and give the future — and ourselves — a chance to become the best of friends.

Sometimes all it takes is a wish in the heart to let yourself begin again.

~~~

Begin today. Declare out loud to the universe that you are willing to let go of struggle and eager to learn through joy.

Sarah Ban Breathnach

~~~

In the mountain backwoods you don’t see too many people hang-gliding. Ol’ Zeek decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He took it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, got ready to take flight. He took off running and reached the edge—into the wind he went!

Meanwhile, Maw & Paw Abner were sittin’ on the porch swing, talkin ’bout the good ol’ days, when maw spotted the biggest bird she had ever seen.

“Look at the size of that bird, Paw!” she exclaimed.

Paw stood up, “Git my gun, Maw.”

Maw ran into the house and brought out his pump action shotgun. He took careful aim. BANG…BANG…BANG…BANG! The monster-size bird continued to sail silently over the tree tops.

“I think ya missed him, Paw,” she said.

“Yeah,” he replied, “but at least he let go of ol’ Zeek!”

~~~

LIFE MAY NOT BE THE PARTY WE HOPED FOR,

BUT WHILE WE ARE HERE WE MIGHT AS WELL DANCE.

~~~

“This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew I’d like to welcome you aboard Air France flight 602 from New York to Paris. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.

“If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.

“If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.

“If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.

“That’s me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recording.”

~~~

“I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!”

Sam Levenson

~~~

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says ‘What the hell was that all about?”

~~~

After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes..

He said, “No hablo ingles.”

Ronnie Shakes

~~~

A guy meets a childhood pal. “What are you doing for yourself these days?”

“I’m a fireman,” his old friend replies.

“Yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman,” says the guy.

“Well,” says his friend, “if you want some good advice, you’ve got to install a pole in your house that will go to the basement so your kid can practice, because the hardest thing for a fireman is to jump off into space and catch that pole in the middle of the night.”

Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again.

“Well, did your son become a fireman?”

“No,” moans the guy, “but my daughter is a stripper.”

~~~

Two old ladies are in a restaurant. One complains, “You know, the food here is just terrible.” The other shakes her head and adds, “And such small portions.”

Woody Allen

~~~

A guy tells his psychiatrist: ‘It was terrible. I was away on business, and I wired my wife that I’d be back a day early. I rushed home from the airport and found her in bed with my best friend. I don’t get it. How could she do this to me?”

“Well,” says the psychiatrist. “Maybe she didn’t get your telegram.”

~~~

Kids today don’t know how easy they have it.  When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpeting to change the TV channel.

~~~

Down in Louisiana, Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant Church across the road. They were both standing by the road pounding a sign into the ground that read:

‘Da End is Near

Turn Yo Self ‘Roun Now

Afore It Be Too Late!’

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled,

‘RELIGIOUS NUTS!!!!’

From the curve they heard screeching tires, followed by a big splash…

Boudreaux turns to Thibodaux and asks, ‘Do ya think maybe da sign should jus say…’Bridge Out’ ?

~~~

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.

B. Priestly

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Back when

Sometimes you don’t realize how good the good old days were until they’re gone.

Yesterday I mentioned that I had grown up, like everyone else my age, without air-conditioning and other things we nowcall necessities. Looking back now life seemed simpler than, not necessarily better just simpler.

Life expectancy was shorter, more folks were hungry and racial prejudice poisoned the lives of whole communities. But the world many of us lived in was much smaller and more manageable. Our friends were our neighbors, most of us did not have cars, there was no television and movies were a luxury. Our toys were made out of tin and cardboard. Those of us lucky enough to have bicycles delivered newspapers. We walked to school, played outside our homes and grew with our buddies.

I miss the simplicity that life once had but appreciate the benefits we have today.

Here is a piece a friend sent me many years ago. My friend passed on some time ago but he lives even today in my memory. So take a few moments and remember with my old friend Jack life as it once was.

OLDER THAN DIRT

“Hey ” one of my grandkids asked the other day, “What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up? “”We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,” I informed him. “All the food was slow.” “C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?”

“It was a place called ‘at home,'” I explained. “Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.”

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone’s lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called “pizza pie.” When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.

We didn’t have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather’s Ford. He called it a “machine.” I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was. All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else’s tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn’t do that in movies. I don’t know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren’t allowed to see them.

Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?

~~~

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

Doug Larson

~~~

A very cheap man was looking for a gift for a friend. Everything was too expensive, except for a broken glass vase which he could purchase for almost nothing. He asked the store to send it, hoping his friend would think it had been broken in transit.

In due time, the man received an acknowledgement from his friend. “Thanks for the vase,” it read. “It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately.”

~~~

“We cannot solve life’s problems except by solving them.”

Scott Peck

~~~

A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday School presentation.  His mother, sitting in the front row to prompt him, gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it didn’t help.  Her son’s memory was blank.

Finally she leaned forward and whispered the cue, “I am the light of the world.”

The child beamed and with great feeling and a loud, clear voice said, “My mother is the light of the world.”

~~~

“If I’m not back in five minutes, wait longer.”

 Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

~~~

“Sally, can you spell “water” for me?” The teacher asked.

H I J K L M N 0 answered Sally promptly.

Her teacher look puzzled. “That doesn’t spell “water.'”

“Sure it does,” said Sally. “It’s all the letters from H to O.”

~~~

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

~~~

Maria:  I fell off a sixty-foot ladder today.

Sue:  It’s a miracle you weren’t killed.

Maria:  Oh, I only fell off the first rung.

~~~

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

~~~

Speed Trap A Police officer had been told by his sergeant that he was to bring up his quota of speeding fines, he decided to park and use his radar gun flashing the cars as they drove by on a busy street. Well one hour went by then two and no one was speeding. After about six hours a lone car came speeding by at well over the limit, the officer turned on his lights and siren and pulled the car over. As the officer approached the drivers window he remarked “I’ve been waiting for you all day” and the driver replied, “Well I got here as fast as I could”

~~~

It is painful to watch children trying to show off for parents who are engrossed in their cell phones. Children are nostalgic for the ‘good old days’ when parents used to read to them without the cell phone by their side or watch football games or Disney movies without having the BlackBerry handy.

Sherry Turkle

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Summer’s Here

Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.

Sam Keen

Today is the first full day of summer where I live. We will have our longest day of sun for this year. That’s the good news, the bad news is our hottest days are yet to come even though we have already had some scorchers. Thankfully we now have air conditioning almost everywhere so I will able to avoid testing my cardiac functions. When I was growing up air conditioning was almost nonexistent and ultrahigh temperatures were often accompanied by a rash of elderly deaths. Fortunately those days are behind us.

Since I either never know the details of the summer solstice or more likely I forgot what I did know I looked up the details. Here is what I learned:

The Summer Solstice

Because of the position of the Earth and the sun, today is set to be the longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. Parts of the United States will see between 14 and 18 hours of daylight Monday, with the official solstice happening at 6:34 p.m. EDT. Between June 20 and 22, the Earth’s axis is tilted as far as it can go toward the Sun.

In most places, the first day of summer isn’t the hottest day of the year. It varies by location — usually the Southwest has its warmest temperatures between now and mid-July, while the Northeast sees its hottest times between mid-July and early August, according to the National Centers for Environmental Information.

This year, the summer solstice matches up with a strawberry moon. It’s just a full moon that occurs in June — it’s so named because Native Americans saw its arrival as the start of strawberry season.

Monday was the first summer solstice since 1967 that coincides with the strawberry moon.

About 25,000 people were expected to travel to the ancient monument of Stonehenge to see the sun rise and set. Stonehenge is constructed in a way that, near the solstice, allows onlookers to see the sun move precisely above the Heel Stone.

 

While that is interesting the bottom line is that it is the season that if you are looking for me I will be the guy sitting in the shade.

~~~

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.

Russell Baker

~~~

Gretchen grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop. She held up the thermos, and the barista quickly came over to take his order.

“Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?” Gretchen asked.

The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, “Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.”

“Oh, good!” Gretchen sighed in relief, “Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf.”

~~~

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

~~~

A man had finally got around to taking all his run down and broken umbrellas to the repair shop. Next morning on his way to his office, when he got up to leave the street car, he absentmindedly took hold of the umbrella belonging to the woman beside him, for he was in the habit of always carrying one.

The woman cried “Stop! Thief!”, grabbed her umbrella back and embarrassed the poor man no end!

That same day, he stopped at the repair shop, and received all eight of his umbrellas duly repaired and restored.. As he entered the street car, with the unwrapped umbrellas tucked under his arm, he was horrified to behold, glaring at him, the lady of his morning’s misadventure. Her voice came to him charged with a withering scorn:

“Had a good day, didn’t you!”

~~~

Have you noticed that the cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity?

~~~

Jill wanted a divorce from Todd.  The judge asked, “What fault do you find with your husband?”

“Your Honor, he’s a liar, a brute, a thief and a brainless idiot.”

“That’s very serious,” exclaimed his Honor, “Can you prove all that?”

“Prove it? Why everybody knows it.”

“If you knew all this, then why did you marry him?”

“I didn’t know it before I married him.”

Todd shouted out, “She did too!”

~~~

A skeptic is a person who when he sees the handwriting on the wall claims it’s a forgery.

~~~

An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she better try to do so before she passed away. But until now, she’d never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued.

“You must take the loyalty oath first,” responded the passport clerk. “Raise your right hand, please.”

The old gal did as she was asked, and raised her right hand.

“Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” was the first question.

The little old lady’s face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice,

“Uhhh… all by myself?”

~~~

It’s not an optical illusion.    It just looks like one.

~~~

Max Levy goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health.

“Max, you’re in excellent shape for an 85 year old man. But I’m not a magician – I can’t make you any younger”, says the doctor.

“Who asked you to make me younger?” says Max. “Just make sure I get older!”

~~~

The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are, very slowly”?

The guy leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrrrrgerrrrrrr Kiiiiing.”

~~~

Summer is the annual permission slip to be lazy. To do nothing and have it count for something. To lie in the grass and count the stars. To sit on a branch and study the clouds.

Regina Brett

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Enjoy Life

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.

Arthur Rubinstein

Yesterday was Father’s Day in my country and my daughters took my wife and me to brunch. The time we get to spend with them is always a highlight in our lives. They both have done so well and have given us a great group of grandchildren. Tonight we will dine with my son who has also done well including helping my daughter-in-law raise three super kids.

My wife deserves most of the credit for their success as she gave so much when they were children. I wish I had spent more time at home, but the time I was there has left me with some great memories.

As we raise our families and watch them grow into adulthood our life skills are tested and while I don’t think Nancy and I deserve a lot of credit, we did our best. I think it worked so well because we are basically good people who care about others.

I recently stumbled across excerpts from H. Jackson Brown’s book Life’s Little Instruction Book that reminded me how we all should live.

Instructions for Life

1. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.
3. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
4. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
5. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
6. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
7. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
8. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
9. Remember that your character is your destiny.
10. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
11. Spend some time alone every day.
12. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
13. Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.
14. At least once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
15. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
16. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
17. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
18. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

~~~

The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.

William Morris

~~~

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. Baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him.

“Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”

The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, son is crying, and mother is saying “Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.”

A few days later, the stork parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he’s been all night. Says the baby stork, “Nowhere…just scaring the heck out of some college students!”

~~~

We recently went to a seaside resort for a change and a rest.

The maid got the change and hotel got the rest!

~~~

I wish to express my thanks to all those who forwarded such informative e-mails, for instance, the one about rats in the glue on envelopes because I now have to get a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. You have made me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer have any sneakers — but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 9:00 PM (CST) tonight, and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician!

~~~

He’s one person who would make a perfect stranger.

~~~

Drunk guy: “Here’s hoping you’re in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you’re dead!”

Drunk girl: “What’s that mean?”

Drunk guy: “It’s an Irish toast.”

Drunk girl: “Oh. Well, here’s to bread, eggs and cinnamon.”

Drunk guy: “Huh?”

Drunk girl: “That’s French toast.”

~~~

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals and dying of nothing.

~~~

A famous Hollywood director dies and reaches Heaven. At the proverbial gate, St. Peter meets him and explains that God would like the director to make one more movie.

The director grimaces, “But I retired years before I died. I’m tired of all the hassles involved in making movies.”

“Listen,” St. Peter explains, “we got Ludwig von Beethoven to write a new score for the movie…”

“You’re not listening to me,” the director protested. “I don’t want to make any more movies.”

“But we’ve got Leonardo de Vinci to do the set design for you,” St. Peter exclaimed.

“I don’t want to make any more movies!” the director insisted.

“Just look at this script,” St. Peter said. “We got William Shakespeare to write it for you!”

“Well,” said the director, “a score by Beethoven, set design by de Vinci, a script by Shakespeare…How can I go wrong? I’ll do it!”

“Great!” exclaimed St. Peter. “There’s only one small hitch…I’ve got a girlfriend who sings…”

~~~

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.

George Washington Carver

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

You can do it

“Man is what he believes – believe in yourself”

Amit Abraham

I am sure that like mine some of your days are not all that great. I long ago decided that when I have one of those days I won’t let them get me down. Everyone around me may let what’s going on hold them back but I chose not to join them when that happens.

I learned a long time ago that things are seldom as bad as they may seem. All it takes is the confidence that what is going on is just another of life’s challenges and that the best plan is to just get going and doing what can be done.

There is one important rule that will guarantee the best outcome and that is to always do the best you can. You will never feel guilty no matter what happens if you know that you did your best. Always be your best friend and believe in yourself and you will stand the best chance of loving your life.

I don’t know who wrote the following article but I like what he wrote,

Believe in Yourself

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be.

That’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint you and let you down.

But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be.

Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself!

~~~

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

Harry came into the office an hour late for the third time in a week. “What’s the story this time, Harry?” his boss asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”

Harry sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes but then the drawbridge got stuck. I swam across the river — see? My suit’s still damp — ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Trump’s helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes.”

“You’ll have to do better than that, Harry,” said the boss. “No woman can get ready in ten minutes!”

~~~

Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends …. None of us can remember anything.

~~~

A row of bottles on my shelf

Caused me to analyze myself.

One yellow pill I have to pop

Goes to my heart so it won’t stop.

A little white one that I take

Goes to my hands so they won’t shake.

The blue ones that I use a lot

Tell me I’m happy when I’m not.

The purple pill goes to my brain

And tells me that I have no pain.

The capsules tell me not to wheeze

Or cough or choke or even sneeze.

The red ones, smallest of them all

Go to my blood so I won’t fall.

The orange ones, very big and bright

Prevent my leg cramps in the night.

Such an array of brilliant pills

Helping to cure all kinds of ills.

But what I’d really like to know………..

Is what tells each one where to go!

~~~

“Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.”

Dave Barry

~~~

Two men sank into adjacent train seats after a long day in the city. One asked the other, “Your son go back to college yet?”

“Two days ago.”

“H-m-m. Mine’s a senior this year, so it’s almost over. In May, he’ll be an engineer.  What’s your boy going to be when he gets out of college?”

“At the rate he’s going, I’d say he’ll be about thirty.”

“No, I mean what’s he taking in college?”

“He’s taking every penny I make.”

“Doesn’t he burn the midnight oil enough?”

“He doesn’t get in early enough to burn the midnight oil.”

“Well, has sending him to college done anything at all?”

“Sure has! It’s totally cured his mother of bragging about him!”

~~~

“There is space on everyone’s bookshelves for books one has outgrown but cannot give away. They hold one’s youth between their leaves, like flowers pressed on a half-forgotten summer’s day.”

Marion C. Garretty

~~~

He said: As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks to organizations on accident prevention. One night after I spoke to a PTA group, the program chairperson thanked me profusely and gave me a check for fifty dollars.

“Giving these presentations is part of my job,” I said. “Could I donate the money to one of your causes?”

“That would be wonderful,” she gushed. “We have just the program that could use it. We’re trying to raise money so we can afford better speakers.”

~~~

“You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it’s enough. It takes just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up.”

Richelle E. Goodrich

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.