Ray's musings and humor

Archive for January, 2022

My Special Day

Ray’s Daily

January 31, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

I’ve got nothing to do today but smile.

Paul Simon

Today is my birthday, I turn 87. While I have a few aches and pains I am doing pretty well. My wife of 68 years is in a sister facility in the same complex so I normally get to visit her often, her short-term memory is a problem but we enjoy our times together. My children, now at retirement age, are wonderful friends and helpers, they and 5 of my seven grand children also live close by.

All in all my life is good. The independent living facility where I now reside offers me much to be thankful for. I am well fed, have pleanty to do and most importantly have many new friends. Sometime ago I got the following piece that reminds me of my friends and family. Ithink it is appropriate to shre it today.

   24 Things To Always Remember

Your presence is a present to the world.

You are unique and one of a kind.

Your life can be what you want it to be.

Take the days just one at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.

You will make it through whatever comes along.

Within you are so many answers.

Understand, have courage, be strong.

Do not put limits on yourself.

So many dreams are waiting to be realized.

Decisions are too important to leave to chance.

Reach for your peak, your goal and you prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.

The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets.

Do not take things too seriously.

Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.

Remember that a lot goes forever.

Remember that friendship is a wise investment.

Life’s treasure are people together.

Realize that it is never too late.

Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.

Have hearth and hope and happiness.

Take the time to wish upon a start.

AND DO NOT EVER FORGET ….

FOR EVEN A DAY

HOW VERY SPECIAL YOU ARE !

~~~

A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.

William Hazlitt

~~~

A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if You can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am!”

~~~

WORDS OF WISDOM

Always give 100% at work…….

12% on Monday

23% on Tuesday

40% on Wednesday

20% on Thursday

5% on  Fridays

And remember …….

When you’re having a really bad day and it seems like people are trying to tick you off, remember it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to pull the trigger.

~~~

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child… she said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
~~~

AT THE CASH REGISTER

“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

“Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.

“No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.”

~~~

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

~~~

A LETTER FROM GRANDMA

Got a letter from Grandma the other day.

She wrote…

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I’m glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is…and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. It’s a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed!

I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, “For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!” What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a “sunny beach”…I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant and he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I’ve never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing…why, even he was enjoying this religious experience!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers, grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

Love, Grandma

~~~

“I just recently had my Visa card stolen… Right now it’s everywhere I want to be.”

Scott Wood

~~~

Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, be strong and keep reminding your self that everything happens for a reason.

John Mayer

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Wondering

Ray’s Daily

January 28, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I’d just been myself.”

Brittany Renée

Ray’s Daily first published onJanuary 28, 2009

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”

Edgar Allan Poe

 Maybe not to Poe’s extreme but I did get up this morning wondering about things. Things like why did I tell a new friend on my recent cruise that we had not had any real snow to speak of in Indianapolis for many years. I wondered when it would quit snowing when I went out and dug my morning paper out of the snow. I wondered if I could get another set of tickets to the play I did not see last night because I had a minor cold and wimped out of driving in the snow. I wondered when I had lost my desire to drive in ten or twelve inches of snow when years ago I drove in that frequently when I lived in Minnesota. I wondered if today’s lunch appointment was going to brave the weather and be at our restaurant meeting. So now I am wondering if I will go wandering out for lunch and run a few errands.

Of course wondering is not a new thing for me. I wonder many times each day, I wonder as I stand in front of an open refrigerator what I was going to get, I wonder about the name of the person across the room with the very familiar face, I wonder what I’ll put in the daily, I wonder about what it is that I need to do while trying to remember what I would like to do. Yep my life is full of wonder. While it often does border on chaos it does make life interesting and the best part is I pretty much have freedom of choice, I don’t have a boss to tell me what I must do, I have a wife that gave up trying to steer me towards better choices years ago, and I do have the ability of living a life full of wonderment.

When we realize we really don’t have to stay on stage image building every day and that we can be who we want to be and are not required to be what others think we should be, we can concentrate on being ourselves. And if you are like I am you have few regrets for allowing yourself to fully enjoy what life has to offer. Meanwhile I think I’ll wonder about today from the warmth of my hearth and wait for others to clean the path to what lies ahead outside.

~~~

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.”

Albert Einstein

~~~

“I Love Her, But…”

(Notice these are not complaints of mine – Ray)

… she has an uncanny way of standing between me and the television screen. Bases loaded, two strikes, three balls. The crowd goes wild, the pitch flies, and all I can see is her butt. –Howard, Dodge City, Kan.

… she was furious when I got up early once and made her breakfast. Called me controlling. How dare I decide that she would eat breakfast, let alone what she’d have? –Ted, Wexford, Pa.

… what’s mine is hers. I buy her negligees; she sleeps in my T-shirts. When she’s cold she wears my wool socks to bed, never her own. She steals my half-used razors; new ones are too sharp. She even wears my boxers. I’m tempted to switch to briefs just to see what she’d do. –Dave, Martha’s Vineyard, Mass.

… when she gets an idea in her head, there’s no stopping her. And no rest for anyone until it’s done. It’s not so bad when the idea is to bake cookies, or even to go on vacation. But when it’s to build a new house, or to get pregnant, things get pretty intense. –Jim, Minneapolis

… every so often boom! she’s a brunette. Or I come home to a redhead. Actually, I have no idea what her natural color is. –Cary, Seattle

… she takes her half of the bed out of the middle. -Robin, Gladwyne, Pa.

… she wears these false eyelashes. She left ’em lying around and I slammed ’em with my newspaper, tried to kill the things. Scared me half to death. –Gordon, Oklahoma City, Okla.

… she takes those soaps too seriously. I’ll come home and find her in tears because some character died. Or upset that some nonexistent guy’s having a fictional affair. –Archie, St. Louis

~~~

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”

Mark Twain

~~~

We were helping customers when the store optometrist walked by and flirted with a co-worker. Of course, we all had to stop what we were doing to tease her. But she quickly dismissed the notion of a budding romance.

“Can you imagine making out with an optometrist?” she asked. “It would always be, ‘Better like this or like this?'”

~~~

“I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?’”

Jerry Seinfield

~~~

When the graveside service had no more than just finished, there was a tremendous burst of thunder, accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder and more lightning.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there.”

~~~

“Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn’t happen.”

Stephen Wright

~~~

There was a little guy sitting at a bar drinking a beer. A while later a huge guy walked into the bar and he went up to the little guy and karate chopped him in the back. The little guy fell off his bar stool and when he got up the big guy said, “That was a karate chop from Korea.” The big guy went to the restroom and the little guy ordered himself another beer. About 20 minutes later the big guy came back and karate chopped the little guy in the back again. The little guy got up and dusted himself off and the big guy told him, “That was a karate chop from China.”

The little guy got up and decided he wasn’t going to take any more of this, so he left the bar. About an hour later the little guy comes back to the bar and he hits the big guy in the back. The big guy is knocked out cold and he’s on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, “Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears!”

~~~

“When someone is impatient and says, “I haven’t got all day,” I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?”

George Carlin

~~~

Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in the library. “You know,” said Melba, “today, in most marriage ceremonies, they don’t use the word ‘obey’ anymore.”

“Too bad, isn’t it?” retorted Ken. “It used to lend a little humor to the occasion.”

~~~

“I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?”

Chuang Tzu

~~~

While working in the psychology department at Glen Oaks Community College in Centreville, MI, I was asked to enlarge a chart for a meeting. I called the copy room and asked, “Can I get something blown up down there?”

After a pause the voice on the line replied, “I think you want the chemistry lab.”

~~~

“Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.”

Robert Fulghum

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

I wish you…..

Ray’s Daily

January 27, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Where there is love there is life.”

Mahatma Gandhi

As time goes by some folks learn what is important. So many of us waste valuable days searching for meaningless desires. Our time is better spent appreciating the important things in life. Read the following story and you will see what I mean.

Love

Many years ago all feelings and emotions have gathered to spend their vacation on a coastal island. Each of them was having a good time, but one day there was announced a warning of a storm and everyone had to leave the island. This caused a panic, all rushed to their boats and only Love did not wish to be in a hurry. There was so much to do, so Love was the last, who realized that it was time to leave. However, no free boats were left and Love looked around with hope.

As Prosperity was passing by in its classy boat, Love asked: „Please, take me in your boat“. But Prosperity replied: „My boat is full of gold and other precious possessions, there is no place for you“.

Then Vanity came by in a lovely boat. Love asked: „Vanity, could you take me in your boat? Please, help me.” Vanity said: „No, your feet are muddy, and I don‘t want my boat get dirty.”

A bit later Sorrow was passing by and Love called for help. But Sorrow answered: „I am so sad, I want to be by myself“.

Then Happiness came by, Love asked for help, but Happiness was too happy, it hardly concerned about anyone.

Suddenly somebody called out: „Love, I will take you with me“. Love did not recognize its saviour, just gratefully jumped on to the boat.

When everyone had reached safe place, Love get off the boat and met Knowledge. Love asked: „Knowledge, do you know who helped me when everyone else turned away?” Knowledge smiled: „That was Time, because only Time knows Love‘s true value and what Love is capable of. Only Love can bring peace and happiness.”

The message of this story is that when we are prosperous, we underrate Love. When we feel important, we do not appreciate love. And even in happiness and sorrow we overlook love. Only with time we realize the true value of love. Why wait and not cherish Love every day of your life?

~~~

“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get–only with what you are expecting to give–which is everything.”

Katharine Hepburn

~~~

A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, when he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove. At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to descend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: “Come down, Holy Spirit!” Still no sign of the dove.

The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters:

“Sir, a yellow cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the yellow cat?”

~~~

What we see depends on mainly what we look for.

~~~

A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided that he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. It turns out that his next-door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, “Chicken farming isn’t easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I’ll give you 100 chickens.”

The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later, the new neighbor stopped by to see how things were going. The new farmer said, “Not too good. All 100 chickens died.”

The neighbor said, “Oh, I can’t believe that. I’ve never had any trouble with my chickens. I’ll give you 100 more.”

Another two weeks went by, and the neighbor stopped in again. The new farmer said, “You’re not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too.”

Astounded, the neighbor asked, “What did you do to them? What went wrong?” “Well,” said the new farmer, “I’m not sure. But I think I’m not planting them far enough apart.”

~~~

All general statements are false, except this one.

~~~

Scott and Glenn were walking down the street, when Glenn turned to Scott and said, “Scott, if you had two of those top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz cars with all the gear, electric windows, CD player and all that, would you give me one?”

Scott replied, “Glenn, how long do we go back? Thirty years? We’ve been best friends since school, and if I had two of those Mercedes, top-of-the-line cars with all the trimmings, yeah, I would give one to you.”

They continued walking. After a couple of minutes, Scott turns to Glenn and asked, “Glenn, if you had two of those luxury, playboy-type yachts—you know, with all the modern conveniences—would you give one to me?”

Glenn replied, “Scott, you and me are like brothers. You were best man at my wedding. If I had two of those luxury playboy yachts with all the modern conveniences, then yeah, Scott, I really would give one to you.”

They kept walking. A couple of minutes later, Glenn turns to Scott and says, “Scott, if you had two chickens…”

“Now hold on there! Glenn, you know I’ve got two chickens!”

~~~

“If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.”

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

New Testament:  Many are called, but few are chosen.

Marie Dolan:  Many are called, but most are e-mailed.

Ron Morse:  Many are called, but few actually switch long-distance carriers.

Ed Wintermantel:  Many are called, but they face another wait in the examining room.

~~~

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”

Victor Hugo

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Keep a positive attitude

Ray’s Daily

January 26, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.

Robert Schuller

I learned yesterday that they have had another case of the virus in my wife’s special care facility. This means I can not visit her for a while. Now our only contact is via phone. I miss seeing her and sometimes have difficulty reaching her by phone. While I know she is being well taken care of I still worry, but I can’t let my concerns become a problem for her. I have to stay positive and hope for the best.

I got the following from Angel Chernoff recently and find her thoughts to be helpful.

5 Daily Reminders to Help You Let Go and Think Straight

1. If you worry too much about what might be, or what might have been, you will ignore and overlook what is. Remember this. Worrying is a misuse of your incredible creative energy. So do your best to focus mindfully on what’s in front of you today.

2. When you stop focusing on what you can’t control, you have time to change the things you can control. And that changes everything.

3. It’s often our own thinking that holds us back. There’s no reason to imprison yourself. Don’t think outside the box. Think like there is no box. Talk like you are blessed. Walk like you are blessed. Think like you are blessed. Work like you are blessed. And you will be today.

4. The ability to not overreact, or take things too personally, keeps your mind clear, your heart at peace, and you fully composed in otherwise uncontrollable situations. Calmness truly is a human superpower.

5. Distancing yourself a little bit from someone who keeps giving you negative vibes is self-care. Stepping back from situations where you feel unappreciated or disrespected is self-care. Tune in to your inner compass, and choose to honor your feelings and boundaries, respectfully.

~~~

Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.

Maya Angelou

~~~

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before. Because both had jobs they found it difficult to coordinate their travel schedules, so it was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. In his Room there was a computer so he decided to send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her address and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.

In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral. The dearly departed was a minister who had been called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, Expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I’ve Arrived

You’re probably surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P. S. Sure is hot down here!

Dick

~~~

Teacher: “Why couldn’t your brother spell ‘Mississippi’ when I asked him this afternoon in class?”

Boy: “Because he didn’t know if you meant the river or the state!”

~~~

In Mississippi, a guy sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the mutt replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The mutt looks up and says, “Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had 18 wives, too many puppies to remember, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

The owner says, “Ten dollars.”

The guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?”

The owner replies, “He’s just a big liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”

~~~

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.

Charlotte Bronte

~~~

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.

The old-timer says, “Look at me.  I’m old and worn out. You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France.”

The new inmate asked, “What happened?”

“One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!”

~~~

Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It means that even on the hard days you know better ones are coming.

Author Unknown

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Those were the days

Ray’s Daily

January 25, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“There are three things that grow more precious with age; old wood to burn, old books to read, and old friends to enjoy.”

Henry Ford

Ray’s Daily First Published on January 25, 2006

I read an article the other day suggesting that Starbucks has replaced the tavern that use to exist in neighborhoods all over America. I can tell you the Starbucks I frequent are not even close. The corner tavern was a gathering place where you ran into friends, neighbors, and strangers that turned into friends. We had neighborhood cookouts, picnics, and sometimes even parades and carnivals. Our kids played with their friends outside and we sat outside and talked to neighbors. I don’t know about you but all that is missing where I live. I am concerned that we are in the process of de-socializing America. Many of us are even stay at home workers and don’t even have those human contacts we once had in the workplace.

Some of us have chosen to find other avenues to regain the social interaction through volunteerism, service clubs, seminars, and the like. Trust me our time is well spent not only by what we do for others but by what we do for ourselves. In my case I also have the good fortune of having connected up with so many of you and yesterday was no exception. A new friend, Marie-Pier Charron from Quebec, joined our daily readership. Marie-Pier is a people development coach in her working life and is willing to share her wisdom. For example she sent me the following yesterday.

~~~

“How about being a little more SPONTANEOUS this week? Trust your feelings and your intuition. If you feel something, there’s a reason. If you WANT something, it may very well be exactly what you NEED. Look inside, and don’t rationalize too much. Trust your inner wisdom, even if it doesn’t make much sense now. That’s how we make magic happen.”

“When you look back at your greatest accomplishments, at the most constructive choices you’ve made in your life, do you find that they were the most logical? I doubt it. You were probably “in the flow”, not limited by your brain, or some notion of what you should be or do. Go back to that place and ride the wave; stop swimming against it, and see how it goes. Put your thoughts on hold, and trust what you know in your gut.”

~~~

I could not agree more with what she said, I am prone to mistake when I spend too much time thinking things through. Some of the very best things I have done have been when I let my experience and knowledge provide a spontaneous answer, without even waiting for the question.

~~~

“Our spontaneous action is always the best. You cannot, with your best deliberation and heed, come so close to any question as your spontaneous glance shall bring you.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

10 reasons Adam was the luckiest man

1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man she could have married.

2. He had no in-laws to drop in.

3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with.

4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers.

5. He never had his dinner interrupted by window salesmen.

6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe.

7. He never had to shovel snow!

8. If he had gone bald, who would have known that wasn’t normal.

9. There was no “standard weight and height” tables – and the word FAT meant good.

10. When God asked “Adam, where are you?”  He replied, “The woman you gave me was reading the map.”

~~~

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Thomas Jefferson

~~~

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?….What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one! could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewerage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur’s question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered….is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen, lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day ….or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

The moral is…..If you don’t let a woman have her own way….Things are going to get ugly.

~~~

If you want the world to beat a path to your door, just try taking a nap on a Saturday afternoon.

~~~

A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. “Professionally employed?” he asked. 

“We’re a military family,” the wife answered. 

“Children?” 

“Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve,” she answered proudly. 

“Animals?” 

“Oh, no,” she said earnestly. “They’re very well behaved.”

~~~

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

Margaret Lee Runbeck

~~~

A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?” 

“Objection!” said the defense attorney. “Irrelevant!” 

“Oh, that’s okay,” said the blonde from the witness stand. “I don’t mind answering the question.” 

“I object!” the defense said again. 

“No, really,” said the blonde. “I’ll answer.” 

The judge ruled: “If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object.” 

So the prosecutor repeated the question: “Where were you the night of August 24th?” 

The blonde replied brightly, “I don’t know!” 

~~~

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”

E. E. Cummings

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Let’s Have A Good Week

Ray’s Daily

January 24, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

Happiness is not doing fun things. Happiness is doing meaningful things.

Maxime Lagacé

Here we go, another week. I have decided to make it a happy one, at least as happy as I can make it. Fortunately most of the folks I know are basicly happy and I enjoy their company. I find happiness is infectious so I enjoy catching the happiness bug from my friends. What about you, are you as happy as you want to be? If not you may find that the following helps.

9 Things You Can Do to Be Happy in the Next 30 Minutes

By Gretchen Rubin

Being happier doesn’t have to be a long-term ambition. You can start right now. In the next 30 minutes, tackle as many of the following suggestions as possible. Not only will these tasks themselves increase your happiness, but the mere fact that you’ve achieved some concrete goals will boost your mood.

1. Raise your activity level to pump up your energy. If you’re on the phone, stand up and pace. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Put more energy into your voice. Take a brisk 10-minute walk. Even better…

2. Take a walk outside. Research suggests that light stimulates brain chemicals that improve mood. For an extra boost, get your sunlight first thing in the morning.

3. Reach out. Send an e-mail to a friend you haven’t seen in a while, or reach out to someone new. Having close bonds with other people is one of the most important keys to happiness. When you act in a friendly way, not only will others feel more friendly toward you, but you’ll also strengthen your feelings of friendliness for other people.

4. Rid yourself of a nagging task. Deal with that insurance problem, purchase something you need, or make that long-postponed appointment with the dentist. Crossing an irksome chore off your to-do list will give you a rush of elation.

5. Create a more serene environment. Outer order contributes to inner peace, so spend some time organizing bills and tackling the piles in the kitchen. A large stack of little tasks can feel overwhelming, but often just a few minutes of work can make a sizable dent. Set the timer for 10 minutes and see what you can do.

6. Do a good deed. Introduce two people by e-mail, take a minute to pass along useful information, or deliver some gratifying praise. In fact, you can also…

7. Save someone’s life. Sign up to be an organ donor, and remember to tell your family about your decision. Do good, feel good―it really works!

8. Act happy. Fake it ‘til you feel it. Research shows that even an artificially induced smile boosts your mood. And if you’re smiling, other people will perceive you as being friendlier and more approachable.

9. Learn something new. Think of a subject that you wish you knew more about and spend 15 minutes on the Internet reading about it, or go to a bookstore and buy a book about it. But be honest! Pick a topic that really interests you, not something you think you “should” or “need to” learn about.

Some people worry that wanting to be happier is a selfish goal, but in fact, research shows that happier people are more sociable, likable, healthy, and productive―and they’re more inclined to help other people. By working to boost your own happiness, you’re making other people happier, too.

~~~

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

Joseph Addison

~~~

“20 Continuing Education Courses for Women”

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Do Not Need New Shoes Everyday

4. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

5. Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until… After the Game

6. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too

7. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His

8. Valuation: Just Because It’s Not Important to You…

9. Communication Skills I: Tears – The Last Resort, Not the First

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Water retention: Fact or Fat

13. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

14. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

15. PMS: Your Problem… Not His

16. Dancing: Why Men Don’t Like To

17. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

18. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

19. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

20. TV Remotes: For Men Only

Please don’t tell my wife that I sent you this. She has no flaws and needs no instruction since she already knows it all. Did I say that right? Well you know what I mean.

~~~

Sadder than work left unfinished, is work never begun.

~~~

She did invent this new survivor show:

Six married men will be dropped on an island with 1 car and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks.  Each kid plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes.

There is no access to fast food.

Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.

The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.  There is only one TV between them and there is NO REMOTE

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves, either while driving or while making four lunches.

They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m.; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4-year-old to eat a serving of peas.

The kids vote them off the island, based on performance.

The last man wins …..

Only if ………..

He has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over again for the next 18-25 years … eventually earning the right to be called “Mother.”

One more thing, they cannot kill themselves or the kids, or they automatically get voted off.

~~~

Did you see this ad? Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience with Princes, Seeks Frog.

~~~

Why are we still there?

It is time to take a serious look at our involvement there.

Every day there are news reports about more deaths. Every night on the TV are photos of death and destruction. Why are we still there?

The land is too large to secure all of it. The bad people causing this damage can roam anywhere, and we can’t possibly police the whole place. Why are we still there?

We occupy this land, which we had to take by force, but it causes us nothing but trouble. Why are we still there?

Their government is unstable, and in the process of changing. Why are we still there?

Refugees are fleeing by the thousands, driven from their homes. Why are we still there?

It will cost billions to rebuild, which we can’t afford. Why are we still there?

We can’t even secure the borders. Why are we still there?

And to repeat. Every day we hear of more Americans killed in this dangerous land.

It is clear! We must abandon California

~~~

Gravity…It’s Not Just a Good Idea. It’s the Law.

~~~

The farmer stood in his chicken yard watching hundreds of baby chicks running here and there.  He kept pointing to them and trying    to count them.  “One, two, three, four, five, six, oh, no…” then he would start over, “one, two, three, four, and,… oh, no.” Then he’d start over again.

Finally he said, “I give up.  They say don’t count your chickens before they hatch but it sure is easier to do that than it is to count them after they hatch.”

~~~

I’ve broken so many mirrors in my life, if I live long enough to have all that bad luck, I’ll be lucky…

~~~

A Jewish man reads about Einstein’s theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.

“Well, zayda, it’s sort of like this.  Einstein says that if you’re having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a minute seems like an hour. But if you’re sitting with a beautiful woman on your lap, an hour seems like a minute.”

The old man considers this profound bit of thinking for a moment and says,  “And from this he makes a living?”

~~~

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

Helen Keller

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Love Life

Ray’s Daily

January 21, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Be in love with your life. Every minute of it.”

Jack Kerouac

Some of us waste our time trying to be something other than who we are. The happiest people I know do not put on a false front. Our lives are too short to miss the enjoyment each day offers. The secret is to live every day enjoying what we have instead of always looking for more. The grass under our feet is just as beautiful as the grass grown elsewhere.

Life is for living

Life is a gift we’re given each and every day.

Dream about tomorrow, but live for today.

To live a little, you’ve got to love a whole lot.

Love turns the ordinary into the extraordinary.

Life’s a journey always worth taking.

Take time to smell the roses, daffodils and lilacs.

Count blessings like children count stars.

The secret of a happy life isn’t buried in a treasure chest . . . it lies within your heart.

It’s the little moments that make life big.

So don’t wait. Make memories today and celebrate your life!

Author Unknown

~~~

“Life is about accepting the challenges along the way, choosing to keep moving forward, and savoring the journey.”

Roy T. Bennett

~~~

As he lay on his deathbed he spoke, “Sara, I want you should know before I die that Ginsburg the tailor owes  me $200, and Morris the butcher owes me $50, and Klein next door owes me $300.”

His wife turned to the children and said, “What a wonderful man your father is. Even when he’s dying he’s got the brains to realize who owes him money.”

The old man continued, “And Sara I want you to also know that I owe the landlord a hundred dollars.”

To which his wife cried, “Oh oh, now he’s getting delirious!”

~~~

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

~~~

Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000.”

There was a moment’s silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, “Two thousand five hundred!”

~~~

“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, “My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!”

Dave Barry.

~~~

A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk.

“Well … they feel a bit tight.” replies the man.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet. “Try pulling up on the tongue.” offers the clerk.

“Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth.” He says.

~~~

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”

Victor Borge

~~~

If you have to write a letter of recommendation for a fired employee, here are a few suggested phrases:

  • For the chronically absent: “A man like him is hard to find.” “It seemed her career was just taking off.”
  • For the office drunk: “I feel his real talent is wasted here.” “We generally found him loaded with work to do.” “Every hour with him was a happy hour.”
  • For an employee with no ambition: “He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in.” “You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you.”
  • For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled: “I can assure you that no person would be better for the job.”
  • For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate: “I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment.” “All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly.”
  • For a stupid employee: “There is nothing you can teach a man like him.” “I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever.”
  • For a dishonest employee: “Her true ability was deceiving.” “He’s an unbelievable worker.”

~~~

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child , and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

Ashley Smith

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Quality of Life

Ray’s Daily

January 20. 2022

http://rays-daily.com

It is our decisions not our conditions that determine our quality of life.

John C. Maxwell

I think my life is pretty good. One of the reasons is that I always am open to how I might make it better. I have learned that working on our own contentment is a process that results in personal satisfaction and happiness.

Here is a piece that I have edited that offers steps to increase the quality of our lives. While we may not be able to do all them we can do some of them.

20 Ways To Increase The Quality Of Your Life

1. Treat yourself. – It doesn’t matter if it’s a meal out, a visit to a theater, or a pampering visit to a spa. Make the first thing you do a treat that you have been craving for some time. Don’t make excuses about not having time or money. Treats can be free, and you can always make time.

2. Take up a hobby. – When you lead a hum-drum life, it is great to have something to think about that takes you into another world. Hobbies are brilliant for giving you something different to do that you enjoy.

3. Learn a skill. – Learning a new skill is one of the most satisfying things you can do. You will feel a sense of achievement that will boost your self-image. A great way to learn a skill is to join a class. Not only will you learn, but you will make new friends.

4. 30-day challenges. – Life-style gurus are increasingly promoting the idea of taking a 30-day challenge. Challenge yourself to achieve something in 30 days. The challenge can be anything that will benefit you once it has been completed.

5. Contact a loved one. – If you are lucky enough to have a loved one in your life who brightens your day when you speak to them, give them a call. You will feel better for making contact, and then feel much more positive after talking to them.

6. Create a gratitude list. – Sit down with a pad and pencil, preferably in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Allow yourself a few minutes to think about your life and identify the good things.

7. Bring on the humor. – Laughing is very good for you. It will lower your stress and put you in a good mood. It evens burns up a few calories!

8. Grow a positive thinking habit. – Are you prone to negative thoughts? Do you assume the worst will happen in any situation? Being negative damages your quality of life. Stop being a defeatist and start being an optimist. It will take work, but changing the way you think will bring greater happiness and make your quality of life considerably better.

9. Exercise. – Taking exercise is an excellent way of boosting your mood and improving your outlook on life. Go running, or get down to the gym. Sweat out the negatives and get fit for the future.

10. Drink more water. – Drinking water is the best way to stay hydrated. It is easy to forget to keep drinking throughout the day. Help yourself to remember by buying a refillable water bottle and keep it filled and with you throughout the day.

11. Declutter your house. – You will feel more positive if you have less unnecessary stuff lying about your house. Get rid of what you don’t want or need, and organize the rest, so it is easy to find when you need it. Doing this will lower your stress levels.

12. Make a daily plan. – Start each day by focusing on what to do, then make a list for that day. A few minutes spent making a list will prevent you from forgetting something important, and will help you prioritize your tasks.

13. Look good. – Every one of us feels better when we make an effort to look good. Looking good makes us feel good, and that really matters.

14. Save up for something special. – Do you dream of owning something that is too expensive to buy right now? Start saving a little money each week, and you will be doing something positive.

15. Meditation. – Meditation gives you a chance to clear your mind and focus on the now. Some people take a gentle walk. It is up to you how you approach meditation. Remember, the critical thing is that you must clear your mind and focus on you in the here and now.

16. Take a trip. – A hectic life with no time off is not good for you. We all need a little relaxation, and looking forward to a trip is a great way to make yourself feel better.

17. Help others. – One of the best ways of creating positivity is to help other people. Not only do you feel good about yourself, but other people will benefit from your involvement. Helping others will make you feel that you have something to offer the world.

18. Yoga. – Yoga is a great way to relax. It is also perfect for your health, as it increases your strength and flexibility. Again, if you feel physically in great shape, your mind will be in great shape.

19. Eat healthily. – Diet is a vital aspect of keeping healthy and to increase the quality of your life. Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, drink lots of water, and avoid too much red meat.

20. Take a walk through nature. – Get out into the countryside and enjoy the great outdoors. If you need a reason, take a camera. Appreciate the sheer beauty of the world we live in, and think how lucky you are to be a part of it. Nothing is more life-affirming than life itself.

~~~

There is only one person responsible for the quality of life you live and that person is you.

Jack Canfield

~~~

A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?”

The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”

~~~

Daddy, where did I come from?” the seven-year-old asked.

It was a moment for which her parents had carefully prepared. They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other books, and explained all they thought she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproductions. Then they both sat back and smiled contentedly.

“Does that answer your question?” her father asked.

“Not really,” the little girl said. “Marcia said she came from Detroit. I want to know where I came from.”

~~~

Time may be a great healer but it’s also a lousy beautician.

~~~

Dear Mom and Dad,

I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.

Your son, Marvin.

P.S. I felt so terrible, I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed that I could get it back. But it was too late.”

 A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said,

“Your prayers were answered.

Your letter never came!”

~~~

“Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?”

Groucho Marx

~~~

Two guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.

The driver says, “Why’d you do that?

The trooper says, “You’re in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you’ll have your license ready.”

Driver says, “I’m sorry, officer, I’m not from around here.”

The trooper runs a check on the guy’s license, and he’s clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.

The passenger says, “What’d you do that for?”

The cop says, “Just making your wishes come true.”

The passenger says, “Huh?”

The cop says, “I know that two miles down the road you’re gonna say, ‘I wish that guy would’ve tried that crap with me!'”

~~~

Brain cells come and go but fat cells live forever.

~~~

“My girlfriend came up to me the other day and introduced me to one of her male friends, and at first I didn’t mind, since I’m not the jealous type. I just wish she hadn’t started calling him “Sweetie” and living with him and having his kids and marrying him and stuff.  It’s really starting to make me wonder if she wants a future with me or not.”

Derek Maness

~~~

Love your enemies.  It makes them so damned mad.

P.D. East

~~~

The priest was at the side of a dying man. Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”

The dying man said, “Well, if you really want the truth, until I know where I’m going, I don’t think I should make him mad!”

~~~

It is time to stop looking outside yourself for the answers to why you haven’t created the life and results you want, for it is you who creates the quality of life you lead and the results you produce. You-no one else! To achieve major success in life-to achieve those things that are most important to you-you must assume 100% responsibility for your life. Nothing less will do.

Jack Canfield

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

Stop Stressing

Ray’s Daily

January 19, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

William James

I think one of the reasons some of us are unhappy so often is our inability to handle stress and our worries. We are better off doing what we can with our troubles and then moving on, leaving our worries behind.

Here is a story I got from the Thought Catalog that reminds us that the longer we fret over our worries the worse they become.

Stop stressing so much

“Once upon a time a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical ‘glass half empty or glass half full’ question. Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, ‘How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?’

Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds.

She replied, ‘From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter.  It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.’

As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, ‘Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.’”

~~~

“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.”

Andrew Bernstein

~~~

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’

Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’ “

Charlie Brown.

~~~

Famous Last Words:

— Unfortunately I can not totally agree with comrade Stalin.

— Of course you don’t look fat in that dress honey.  Well… maybe a little.

— Hey ya’ll watch this.

— LOOK! An old mine from world war…..

— Sure, rope bridges last forever.

— Trust me, I know what I’m doing.

— Do I cut the red or the blue wire?

— Oh shut up! I won’t fall!

— Oh, it looks like a dolphin is swimming this way…

— I wonder what happens if these two wires touch.

~~~

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

~~~

Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.

They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.

The second hiker says, ‘What are you doing?’

The first responds, ‘I figure when the bear gets close to us, we’ll have to jump down and make a run for it.’

The second says, ‘Are you crazy? Don’t you know you can’t outrun a bear?

The first guy says, ‘I don’t have to outrun the bear I only have to outrun you!’

~~~

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

~~~

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. “My you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”

“It was terrible,” her husband said. “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking.”

~~~

I wonder if Adam ever said to Eve,

“Watch it!!! There are plenty more ribs where YOU came from!”

~~~

Two old friends meet passing on the street one day. But one looked forlorn, and almost on the verge of tears. His friend asked, “What had the world done to you, my old friend?”

The sad fellow said, “Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me forty thousand dollars.”

“That’s not bad.”

“But you see, two weeks ago, a cousin I never even knew kicked the bucket, and left me eighty-five thousand free and clear.”

“Sounds like you should be grateful…”

“You don’t understand!” he interrupted. “Last week my great-aunt passed away. I inherited almost a quarter of a million.”

Now he was really confused. “Then, how come you look so glum?”

“This week… nothing!”

~~~

“Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”

Robert A. Heinlein

~~~

During an Army war game a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud.

The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. “Sorry sir,” said one of the loafers, “but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.”

The C.O. turned to his driver and said, “Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction.”

~~~

“We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday’s burden over again today, and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it.”

John Newton

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

We Need Them

Ray’s Daily

January 18, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“A stranger is just a friend I haven’t met yet.”

Will Rogers

Ray’s Daily first published on January 18, 2004

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,

An hour to appreciate them,

A day to love them,

But an entire life to forget them.

This is really true. As life goes on I find the greatest joy comes from making new friends and revisiting old ones, even if only in memory. As an example, yesterday I learned that an old friend passed away in Minnesota. I had not seen Joe in many years and yet he lives on in my memory. The good times we had will never be lost.

Someone said to me once that I treated everyone as if they were my friend, I thought about what she said, not realizing that I behaved that way. Maybe if I behaved differently I never would have met so many of you. I wonder how much many of us have lost in our lives because we waited for the other guy to smile, extend a hand, or just say hello. I am beginning to think the real pleasure of retirement is to find and enjoy others. When you brighten someone else’s day you are often rewarded with not only a smile but sometimes even a hug. It is even hard for those we think of as soreheads to behave badly when they are faced with a friendly act. It is so much better walking through life expecting good from others and offering your friendship to all, than to be afraid to reach out to them.

So old friend, have a great day. Say hi to a stranger, and please hug someone once in awhile, you will be glad you did.

~~~

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Melody Beattie

~~~

A man asks his guru, “Do you have anything that stops the aging process?”

The guru responds, “Sure. What kind of disease would you like?”

~~~

A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error.

“I’ll admit I’m wrong,” the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt, “if you’ll admit I’m right.”

He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first.

“I’m wrong,” she said.

With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, “You’re right!”

~~~

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that.

~~~

She said: While trying to explain to our five-year-old daughter how much technology had changed, my husband pointed to our brand-new personal computer and told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same amount of power would have been the size of a house.

Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, “How big was the mouse?”

~~~

A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Herm Albright

~~~

Anne meets up with Dana as she is picking her car up from the mechanic.

Anne asks, “Everything ok with your car now?”

Dana replies, “Yes, thank goodness.  I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was $12 worth of blinker fluid.”

~~~

“I still believe that love is all you need.

I don’t know a better message than that.”

Paul McCartney

~~~

The Italian composer, Rossini, went to see his doctor. After examining him, the doctor said, “Your trouble stems from wine, women and song.”

Rossini suggested, “Well, I can get along without the songs, since I compose my own.”

The doctor said, “Well, which of the other two are you prepared to give up?” Rossini relied, “That depends entirely on the vintage.”

~~~

“Never explain–your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.”

Elbert Hubbard

~~~

A man was waiting at the train station.  The train was due at 5:23 PM. Finally, it rolled into the station at 6:07 PM.

“You’re LATE,” the man said to the conductor.  “What’s the use of having a schedule if you’re going to be late anyway?”

The Conductor looked at him, and said, “Sir, if we didn’t have a schedule, how on earth would you realize what time you were supposed to be at the station?  And how would you know that we were late?”

~~~

“The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.”

Robert R. Coveyou

~~~

A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle.

“Can you imagine,” he demanded, “people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?”

When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, “What I’ve been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast.”

~~~

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

Noel Coward

~~~

Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob told Lester, “Ya know, I reckon I’m about ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last two years I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Marie got pregnant. Then two years ago you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Marie got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Marie didn’t get pregnant again.

Lester asks Billy Bob, “So what you gonna do this year that’s different?”

Billy Bob says, “This year, I’m takin’ Marie with me.”

~~~

“We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay young.”

Letty Cottin Pogrebin

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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