Ray's musings and humor

Archive for February, 2017

Ray is away

I have been in the hospital this week and hope to be released soon. Unfortunately my primary computer crashed so it may be awhile until the next Daily.


Hang in there

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.

Henry James


I had lunch with a friend yesterday who is not only wise but who is also an unselfish humanitarian who is constantly working to make our city a better place. I think his greatest attribute is that he cares.

We both reported that we are hearing from folks who are scared of what the turmoil in Washington is going to mean. Younger folks with health problems are worried that the talks of insurance reform may result in their losing their insurance. Many seniors worry that the talk of Medicare and Social Security changes can put at risk their ability live reasonably well in the years ahead.

As we talked the list continued to grow. Our situation globally is in flux and we don’t know what that might mean. Education, the arts and public health are facing potential major changes that can affect us all.

Few of us have the ability as individuals to change the world others create for us. Sure if enough people band together and speak loud enough it can make a difference but for most of us we just do the best we can. In that vein I would like to share with you the following creed. It is up to us not to let external factors take is down and we can do that if we focus on our strengths.

A Creed to Live By

Nancye Sims

  • Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
  • It is because we are different that each of us are special. Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only do what is best for you.
  • Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
  • Don’t let life slip through your fingers by living in the past or in the future. By living one day at a time you live all days of your life.
  • Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
  • Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.
  • Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
  • Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible. The fastest way to lose love is to hold to it tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
  • Don’t dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope, to be without hope is to be without purpose.
  • Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way.


Find the seed at the bottom of your heart and bring forth a flower.

Shigenori Kameoka


She said:

One of our clients brought in his massive Doberman pinscher to be spayed. As a veterinary assistant, I escort the patient into the doctor’s office. Before taking this dog’s leash, I glimpsed those large teeth of hers and asked the owner, “Is she friendly?”

“Friendly?” said the man. “Friendly? She’s had five litters! How much ‘friendlier’ than that can she get?”


Q: Did you hear about the new auto insurance policy for Jewish mothers?

A: It is known as the “My Fault” policy.


Life in 2029:

Baby conceived naturally…scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.


Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.


Clever Words

  1. ARBITRAITOR A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s
  2. BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage.
  3. BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through
  4. AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do
  5. EYEDROPPER Clumsy ophthalmologist
  6. CONTROL A short, ugly inmate.
  7. COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
  8. ECLIPSE What an English barber does for a living.
  9. LEFT BANK What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
  10. HEROES What a man in a boat does
  11. PARASITES What you see from the Eiffel Tower
  12. PARADOX Two physicians
  13. PHARMACIST A helper on a farm
  14. POLARIZE What penguins see through
  15. PRIMATE Remove your spouse from in front of TV
  16. RELIEF What trees do in the spring
  17. RUBBERNECK What you do to relax your wife


An American in Scotland asked one of the locals, “Why do you call it a kilt?”

The Scotsman replied, “Because we kilt the last bloke who called it a dress.”


The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: “Watch Your Hat And Overcoat.” Meyer did. He kept turning every minute, almost choking over his food. His pal, Moshe, kept on eating, without thought of his own coat on the hook.

Finally Moshe said, “You, dope…stop watching our overcoats.”

“I’m only watching mine,” replied Meyer. “Yours has been gone for over half an hour.”


Scientists are working to develop something that will dissolve anything, but they don’t know what they would put it in.

Herb Shriner


A teacher asked her class, “What do you want out of life”?

A little girl in the back raised her hand and said, “All I want out of life is four animals.”

The teacher asked “Really? And what four animals would that be”?

The little girl replied, “A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed and a jackass to pay for all of it.” The teacher fainted.


What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.

Ralph Waldo Emerson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Rise and Shine

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.

Henry Ellis


I hope you had a good weekend, I did. I had lunch on Saturday with an old friend who always improves my spirit. I was able to avoid letting the national turmoil get me down. I am dismayed that there are so many bridges being torn down leaving few viable detours. Let us hope wiser heads can repair the damages.

I have high hopes for the next few days. I want to get through some of my back log – bills to pay, messages to answer and the like. My oldest daughter is always a motivator for me but she has been under the weather for the past week now so it is up to me to get started. I would start today but I have a lunch meeting that provides me the rational for another day of procrastination. Oh well there is always tomorrow,

Today I want to share some random thoughts that I got some time ago from the Indian Child blog. They are worth keeping around to help us get to where we would like to go

Your life will benefit if you:

Work hard at what you like to do and try to overcome all obstacles

Laugh at your mistakes and praise yourself for learning from them

Pick some flowers and appreciate the beauty of nature

Say hello to strangers and enjoy the people you know

Don’t be afraid to show your emotions laughing and crying make you feel better

Love your friends and family with your entire being they are the most important part of your life

Feel the calmness on a quiet sunny day

Find a rainbow and live your world of dreams always remember life is better than it seems


Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary, because it means you’ve made a difference.

It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.


In spite of unseasonable wind, snow and unexpected weather of all sorts – a gardener still plants. And tends what they have planted …believing that Spring will come.

Mary Anne Radmacher


Some quotes from the old Hollywood Squares TV show

If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

What are “Do It,” “I Can Help,” and “I Can’t Get Enough”?

George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

In bowling, what’s a perfect score?

Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Can boys join the Campfire Girls?

Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.


“If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.”

George Bernard Shaw


The doctor took Dan into the room and said, “Dan, I have some good news and some bad news.”

Dan said, “Give me the good news.”

“They’re going to name a disease after you.”


Money doesn’t bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.


A small boy stunned his parents after Sunday School when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother asked the obvious question, “Where did you get all that money?”

“At church,” the boy replied nonchalantly. “They have bowls of it.”


I learned something the other day. I learned the Jehovah’s Witnesses do not celebrate Halloween. I guess they don’t like strangers going up to their door and annoying them.

Bruce Clark


Despite his best sales pitch, a life-insurance salesman was unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy. “I certainly don’t want to frighten you into a decision,” he announced, standing up to leave. “Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the morning, let me know what you think.”


Wouldn’t you know it… Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.


You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice. Some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It has been noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticed. This notice is to remind you to notice the notices and respond to the notices, because we do not want the notices to go unnoticed.


Each day seems too short for

All of the things I want to do

And all the friends I want to

See and spend some time with

So before this day ends

I want to take the time to say

Good morning!


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

What are you going to do?

At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Ann Landers


I had a busy day yesterday and have an early doctor’s appointment this morning so I am going to take the easy way out and send you a Daily from yesteryear. Have a great weekend and I will see you Monday.

Ray’s Daily first published om February 3, 2006

Well gang, here we go again, another weekend. I know that many of you will spend Sunday attending Super Bowl parties; some of you might even see the game. But what about Saturday, what have you planned? Just in case you have yet to make a commitment for the day here are something’s that you may have forgotten.

It is:

  • America Loves Its Kids Month, well try anyway.
  • Blah Buster Month, you may want to set up a neighborhood Blah watch committee so you can bust it when you find one.
  • Creative Romance Month, this one sounds dangerous I am not going to observe it again this year.
  • Human Relations Month, thank goodness, I have no interest whatsoever in animal relations.
  • International Twit Award Month, I want you all to know if nominated, I will not run, if elected, I will not serve.
  • International Boost Your Self-Esteem Month, I find this one really easy since I have no esteem to boost.
  • Life Rhythms and Health Month, I am not sure about this one, I think it has something to do with birth control.
  • Love and Romance Month, you really don’t have to send me anything, your thoughts are enough.
  • World Understanding Month, this is really important, just this morning when I was talking to the world I let it know that I understood.
  • Condom Month, there may be a shortage this weekend since so many will be blown up and hung on walls at Super Bowl parties.

Whatever you decide to do, do it well, oh the hell with it, just have fun.


“The best way to behave is to misbehave.”

Mae West


U.S. tourists in Israel, a man and his wife, were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. A salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.

“America,” the husband replied.

Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the man responded. “She’s not from the States.”

“Yes I am.” said the wife. He looked at her and asked.

“Is he your husband?”

“Yes.” she replied.

Turning to the husband, he offered, “I’ll give you 100 camels for her.”

The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, “she’s not for sale.”

After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, “I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home.”


She’s discovered the secret of perpetual youth…she lies about her age.


By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”

And the Lord answered,  “Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a  broken heart and she will do everything with only two hands.”

The angel was astounded at the requirements.  “Only two hands!?

No way! And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day.  Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

But I won’t,” the Lord protested. “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.”

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord.”

“She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough.

You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

“Will she be able to think?” asked the angel.

The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.”

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”

“That’s not a leak,” the Lord corrected, “that’s a tear!”

“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked.

The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.” The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord.

You thought of everything!  Woman is truly amazing.”

And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men.  They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.  They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.  They fight for what they believe in.  They stand up to injustice.  They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.  They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.  They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.  They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies.  They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.  They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.  Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.  The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.  They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals.  They give moral support to their family and friends.  Women have vital things to say and everything to give.



This is my first day out of mourning. My cousin died. He was a dyslexic policeman who had a heart attack. They found him by the phone trying to dial 119.

Joan Rivers


There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunken guy to jail.

The next day the man went before the judge.  The judge asked the man, ‘”Where do you work?’

The man said, ‘Here and there.’

The judge asked the man, ‘What do you do for a living?’

The man said, ‘This and that.’

The judge then said, ‘Take him away.’ The man said, ‘Wait, judge, when will I get out?’

The judge said to the man, ‘Sooner or later’


“Sound travels slowly. Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers don’t reach them till they’re in their 30s.”


A 16-year-old girl bought herself a very tiny bikini. She went home and put it on, then showed her mother how she looked in it. She asked, “What do you think mom?” Her mother replied, “I think that if I had worn that when I was your age, you’d be five years older!


My candle burns at both its ends;

It will not last the night;

But oh, my foes, and oh, my friends —

It gives a lovely light.

Edna St. Vincent Millay


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Thanks for being there

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

Marcel Proust


Yesterday I spent an hour or so sending thank you messages to the nearly 200 folks who had sent me birthday greetings. Again I realized how fortunate I am to be connected to so many of you. When you become older and less active friendly relations become even more valued. So my friends I remain grateful for the fact that we are still connected.

Stopping to review the good things in life once in a while provides the foundation for being grateful for all you have. And you know what; gratitude can do wonders for your sense of wellbeing.

I recently read an article that offers tips on building your attitude of gratitude. I don’t know who wrote it but I am glad they shared their thoughts. Here it is:

Creating an EASY Gratitude Practice That WORKS

Most people would probably agree that a daily gratitude practice is beneficial and can change your life in powerful ways. But many people would also argue that it’s a major challenge to keep up with a gratitude practice. It’s not easy to feel grateful when you’re overwhelmed by stress, negativity, and struggle.

If gratitude is so powerful, how come it doesn’t always work? The problem is not with gratitude itself, but with how it is used.

Most gratitude exercises are purely mental. You think about something you are grateful for, maybe write it down, and then move on to the next item. There isn’t much time or incentive to stimulate genuine FEELINGS of gratitude. And when it comes to gratitude, the feelings are the most important part!

If you’re not feeling grateful – truly, deeply, GENUINELY grateful – nothing will change. You just spent a few minutes on an activity that’s not going to get you the results you wanted. It’s unfortunate, because a daily gratitude practice – when it’s done RIGHT – can change your life in incredible ways. It can inspire you, empower you, strengthen you, make you more resilient, and just make you feel extremely happy. And those are just the inner changes.

A daily gratitude practice can also bring about amazing outer changes, like better health, more money, better relationships, and greater success. How can gratitude do all this?

Because gratitude helps shift your mindset from a negative place to a positive, empowered, optimistic place. When you feel empowered and optimistic, you take productive actions to improve your life, rather than destructive actions that will keep you stuck.

So, how can you create a daily gratitude practice that really WORKS for you and helps you to bring about all of these great changes?

The key lies in your feelings. You need to use gratitude exercises that actually make you FEEL grateful, rather than just THINKING about being grateful.


“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson


A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriff’s Deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy’s expense…Deputy says, “License and registration, please.” Lawyer says, “What for?” Deputy says, “You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign ..” Lawyer says, “I slowed down, and no one was coming.” Deputy says, “You still didn’t come to a complete stop.

License and registration, please.” Lawyer says, “What’s the difference?”

Deputy says, “The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration, please!” Lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket.” Deputy says, “Exit your vehicle, sir.” At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says: “Do you want me to stop or just slow down?”


Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.

Landrum Bolling


I was at a party this weekend and a jokester, stifling a laugh said, “Listen to this: One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to…”

At this, my Jewish friend, Al Cohen said, “Moskowitz and Finkelstein; Moskowitz and Finkelstein; always two Jews. Why do they have to be Jewish? Can’t you tell the joke with other nationalities involved? Why don’t you make them Chinese for a change?”

The jokester, sobered and embarrassed, said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend. Here’s the joke: One day, Hong-lee Yang and Mao-chen Foo were going to the synagogue to attend the bar mitzvah of Hong-lee Yang’s nephew…”


“I think the pilot on my last trip was pretty new to his job. I base that on his pre-flight announcement, ‘We’re going to be taking off in a few… Whoa, here we go!'”


A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn’t care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character. Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence. The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in common — they were both pathological liars.


Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.


According to my mother, she and Dad decided to start a family soon after he became an officer in the Air Force. When months went by without success, they consulted the base physician, who chose to examine Mom right then and there.

“Please disrobe,” he told her.

“With him in the room??” she yelled, pointing to my father.

Turning to Dad, the doctor said, “Captain, I think I found the problem.”


“In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.”

Elizabeth Gilbert


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


We only live once

Life is like a roller coaster, live it, be happy, enjoy life.

Avril Lavigne


Here we are February first and like every other year on the first day of February I find myself a year older. This year I also find that my body has become very mature while my mind seems to be a little more immature.

I was somewhat overwhelmed yesterday by the amount of birthday greetings I received from here and abroad. It reminded my how lucky I am that I know so many of you and how my life is enhanced by your presence.

Yesterday I also received an article from Marc Chernoff where he described 20 Things that Will Matter a Lot Less to You in 20 Years. As I look back on my long life I can testify that he is right on target. There are too many thoughts to share them all here but I have included some that hit home for me.

Things that Will Matter a Lot Less to You in 20 Years

The inevitable frustrations of an average day. – 99.9% of what’s stressing you out today won’t matter a month from now.  Sooner or later you will know this for certain.  So just do your best to let go of the nonsense, stay positive, and move forward with your life.

How “perfect” everything could be, or should be. – Understanding the difference between reasonable striving and perfectionism is critical to letting go of fantasies and picking up your life.  Perfectionism not only causes you unnecessary stress and anxiety from the superficial need to always “get it right,” it actually prevents you from getting anything worthwhile done at all.

Having complete confidence before taking the first step. – Confidence is that inner inertia that propels us to bypass our empty fears and self-doubts.  On the road of life, we come to realize that we rarely have confidence when we begin anew, but as we move forward and tap into our inner and outer resources, our confidence gradually builds.  A common mistake many young people make is wanting to feel confident before they start something, whether it’s a new job, a new relationship, living in a new city, etc.  But it doesn’t happen like that.  You have to step out of your comfort zone, and risk your pride, to earn the reward of finding your confidence.

Having a calendar jam-packed with exciting, elaborate plans. – Don’t jam your life with plans.  Leave space.  Over time you will learn that many great things happen unplanned, and some big regrets happen by not reaching exactly what was planned.  So keep your life ordered and your schedule under-booked.  Create a foundation with a soft place to land, a wide margin of error, and room to think and breathe every step of the way.

Winning everyone’s approval. – It’s the strength of your conviction that determines your level of personal success in the long run, not the number of people who agree with every little thing you do.  Ultimately, you will know that you’ve made the right decisions and followed the proper path when there is genuine peace in your heart.

Judging others for their shortcomings. – We all have days when we’re not our best.  And the older we grow, the more we realize how important it is to give others the break we hope the world will give us on our own bad days.  Truly, you never know what someone has been through in their life, or what they’re going through today.  Just be kind, generous and respectful… and then be on your way.

Distant future possibilities. – As time passes, you naturally have more of it behind you and less of it in front of you.  The distant future, then, gradually has less value to you personally.  But that doesn’t really matter, because the good life always begins right now, when you stop waiting for a better one.  Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been.  The secret to happiness and peace is letting this moment be what it is, instead of what you think it should be, and then making the very best of it.


Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.

Kenneth Branagh


An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure. The weather in New York finally cleared and the pilot asked for his departure clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that he had another delay due to the increased traffic now leaving New York.

Sometime later he finally received his clearance and decided he would try to make up the time lost by asking for a direct route to Los Angeles. Halfway across the country he was told to turn due South.

Knowing that this turn would now throw him further behind schedule he inquired, quite agitated, to the controller for the reason of the turn off course. The controller replied that the turn was for noise abatement.

The pilot was infuriated and said to the controller, “Look buddy, I am already way behind schedule with all the delays you guys have given me today. I really don’t see how I could be causing a noise problem for pedestrians when I am over six miles above the earth!”

The controller answered in a calm voice, “Apparently, Captain, you have never heard two 747s collide!”


My mail is a little slow.  Last month my flower seeds came as a bouquet.


The Politically Correct National Football League would like to announce its name changes and schedules for the 17/18 season:

The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very Tall People on opening day.  Other key games include the Minnesota Plundering Norsemen taking on the Green Bay Meat Industry Workers.

In Week 2, there are several key matchups, highlighted by the showdown between the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts and the New Orleans Pretty Good People. The Atlanta Birds of Prey will play host to the Philadelphia Birds of Prey, while the Seattle Birds of Prey will visit the Phoenix Male Finches.

The Monday night game will pit the Miami Pelagic Percoid Food Fishes against the Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden. The Cincinnati Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals will travel to Tampa Bay for a clash with the West Indies Free booters later in Week 9. And the Detroit Large Carnivorous Cats will play the Chicago Securities-Traders-in-a-Declining-Market.

Week 9 also features the Indianapolis Young Male Horses at the New England Zealous Lovers of Country.


Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.


There are only two kinds of drivers: Idiots and Maniacs. Idiots include anyone that drives slower than me, and the Maniacs are everyone that drives faster than me.


A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?”

One child blurted out, “Aces!”


To fight fear, act. To increase fear—wait, put off, postpone.

David J. Schwartz


My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth. Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.

Her response: “Just meet me in the parking lot!”


I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.

Robert Brault


The guest lecturer to a famous Medical College stopped by the bulletin board on his way to the lecture room. Listed for the day was the topic, “Surprises in Obstetrics.” Scrawled under it in pencil were the words,

“Mary had a little lamb.”


“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching”

Gerard Way


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


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