Ray's Daily

Let’s share a good day today

As we become curators of our own contentment on the Simple Abundance path…we learn to savor the small with a grateful heart.

Sarah Ban Breathnach

If you have been a Daily reader for any length of time you know that I save various things that have some meaning to me. Today I dipped into the files and picked a few to share with you.

~~~

One of the greatest secrets to lifelong happiness in my mind is our ability to appreciate the simple things, all it takes is stopping the race long enough to see and hear what is around us. Here is a poem that says it better.

Simple Things

Simple things are lovely things.

Rain, dropping from the eaves,

Is molten silver streaming down,

Upon the fallen leaves.

The thick, gray mantle of the fog,

Hides everything from view.

Footsteps make a hollow sound,

When they’re unseen by you.

The echo of a horse’s hoof,

Upon the cobblestone,

Beats like a strange, erratic pulse,

Within my heart alone.

A quiet hour on the sand,

When all the tide is out,

Brings with it something deeper,

Than I care to talk about.

Shafts of sunlight through the trees,

That grow upon a hill,

The first green shoots above the ground,

Though winter lingers still.

Simple things are lovely things,

We need no wealth to share.

The monotone of nature’s soul

…That whispers everywhere!

Grace E. Easley

I have often shared with you my belief that we have nothing more valuable in our lives than the friends we make and appreciate. Just think what the world would be like if we put as much effort into friend building as we put into enemy hating. Here is something worth our embracing.

Imagine

Imagine, for a moment, that peace befell the land,

that all of humankind reached out and held each other’s hand.

Imagine, for an instant, the touch of skin to skin

proved so powerful a feeling every nation felt like kin.

Imagine, for a second, love possessed the honest soul

of each citizen on the planet and the world was truly whole.

Imagine, for a heartbeat, how quickly hatred would dissolve

and compassion rise up gallantly with blazing-strong resolve.

Imagine, in your lifetime, this chain of hope began

and the link at its inception was your firm, extended hand.

Imagine……

Terri McPherson

~~~

A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt uneasy, not knowing about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. 

“Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing,” she said. 

“So would I,” replied the technician. “It’s a floor-cleaning machine.” 

~~~

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

~~~

BABY QUIZ

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?

A: If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?

A: ‘Cause you’re fatter than they are.

Q: What’s the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a supermodel?

A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman’s husband knows what’s good for him).

 Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kid is in college.

~~~

Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter, since nobody listens.

~~~

A city slicker stopped his large, expensive car on a country road and looked about in confusion. He noticed a young farm hand leaning on a fence and called to him, “Hey, you know how far it is to Shrewsbury?”

The farm hand thought about it and said, “Don’t know.”

“Well then, do you know the best way to get there?”

Again, the farm hand thought a bit and said, “Don’t know.”

“Look, can you just tell me where the nearest gas station is so I can pick up a map?”

“‘Fraid I don’t know that either.”

Frustrated, the man in the car snapped, “You don’t know much do you?”

To which the farm hand replied, “I’m not lost.”

~~~

Life is cheap. It’s the accessories that kill you.

~~~

Harry had just reached his 175th birthday last week. Surrounded by reporters, he was asked, “Excuse me, sir, but how did you come to live to be 175?”

Harry answered, “It was easy.  I just never argue with anyone.”

The reporter shot back, “That’s crazy.  It had to be something else –diet, meditation, or *something*.  Just not arguing won’t keep you alive for 175 years!”

The old fella stared hard at the reporter for several seconds.

Then he shrugged.  “Hmmm.  Maybe you’re right.”

~~~

“Love yourself — accept yourself — forgive yourself — and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.”

Dr. Leonardo Buscaglia

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Today I am adding to my thanks account

The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers.

But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.

Sarah Ban Breathnach

I hope if you live in the U.S. that you enjoyed your Thanksgiving Holiday as much as I enjoyed mine. Besides good food and good company I took time to look back and reflect on all I had to be thankful for. For me it is important to stop once in awhile and take inventory of the good things in life, it puts things in perspective. But the stop is not the end of the journey but rather a brief rest stop before proceeding on to continue to reap whatever rewards that are out there for us.

I have found that if I stop too long the world has a tendency to drift away taking with it opportunities. If we stop and rest for extended periods the friend we might have made is no longer near by, the stranger we might have helped has lost his way and the sunset we might have seen has faded to darkness. I never feel that the benefit is to those we touch as much as it is to us as we touch others. We are enriched by those who share their lives, their problems and their joys with us as we walk, even if only briefly together, for in my experience the human condition spills over and the load we share together becomes much lighter.

I like what author, lecturer and leadership expert John Maxwell offered in the same vein a while back when he said:

 If you’re not doing something with your life, then it doesn’t matter how long you live. If you’re doing something with your life, then it doesn’t matter how short your life may be. A life is not measured by years lived, but by its usefulness. If you are giving, loving, serving, helping, encouraging, and adding value to others, then you’re living a life that counts!

And you know what? I know of nothing better than to realize as you put your head on the pillow at the end of the day that you did well. It is not important that others know, it is only important that we appreciate that we did the best we could and in doing so our day was filled with fruitful content.

So my friend’s thank you for letting me walk with you again for a few brief moments for I savor our time whenever we are together.

~~~

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

John C. Maxwell

~~~

Leftovers!

I ate too much Turkey, I ate too much corn,

I ate too much pudding and pie.

I’m stuffed up with muffins and too much stuffin’

I’m probably going to die.

I piled up my plate and I ate and I ate.

But I wish I had known when to stop,

For I’m so crammed with yams, sauces, gravies, and jams

That my buttons are starting to pop!

I’m full of tomatoes and french fried potatoes

My stomach is swollen and sore,

But there’s still some dessert so I guess it won’t hurt if

I eat just a little bit more!

~~~

A certain radio station phoned one thousand men, asking to whom they were listening. Ninety-seven percent said they were listening to their wives.

~~~

A man is having a problem with his son and goes to see his rabbi. “I sent him to Hebrew School and gave him a very expensive Bar Mitzvah,” says the man, “and now he tells me he’s decided to be a Christian! Rabbi, where did I go wrong?”

“Funny you should come to me,” said the Rabbi. “I also brought my boy up in the faith and gave him a fancy Bar Mitzvah. Then one day he, too, tells me he’s decided to become a Christian.”

“So what did you do?” asked the man.

“I turned to God for the answer,” replied the Rabbi.

“And what did He say?” pressed the man.

Rabbi sighed and said, “God said, ‘Funny you should come to me…’ ”

~~~

I finally did something about my weight: I stopped getting on the scale.

~~~

A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it.

The doctor assured the nurse, “Don’t worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic.”

~~~

Obesity has now been linked to religion and to the number of hours you watch TV. 

And all this time I thought it had something to do with food.

~~~

“Say, Bill,” a man said to his pal, “how do you like your new job?”

“It’s the worst job I ever had.”

“How long have you been there?”

“About three months.”

“Why don’t you quit?”

“No way.  This is the first time in 20 years that I’ve looked forward to going home.”

~~~

“I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.”

Lily Tomlin

~~~

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut but the barber refused saying “you do God’s work.”  The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.

A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment saying “you protect the public.”  The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment saying “you serve the justice system.”  The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a haircut.

~~~

A man whose actions leave his wife speechless has really done something!

~~~

An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented “These are very good! You must have a good camera.”

He didn’t make any comment, but, as he was leaving to go home he said “That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots.”

~~~

There is more to success than reaching goals. People have accumulated vast fortunes only to live their final years unfulfilled and spiritually poor. Success must also include a joyful appreciation of living — an authentic joy that pulls us toward the next episode of our life’s purpose.

Steve Brunkhorst

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Be Thankful

Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us.

Thomas L. Holdcroft

As you know tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day, a national holiday in my country so I’ll be spending time with my family instead of composing a new Daily. Hopefully I’ll be back Friday.

Being Thanksgiving I have thought about why my life just seems to always get better. I have had some big time health problems, lost some dear friends and had some reduction in savings and yet I am finding as much, if not more happiness than ever before. I have wondered if I am just losing my mind or what, as this phenomenon continues. Of course it would not make any sense to talk myself out of feeling the way I do so I don’t try. But I’ll tell you that I find there is so many interesting things to do and now I have time to do many of them and that makes it all great.

I read another of Ralph Marston’s pieces the other day that also explains a lot. His message reminded me that each day is the stepping stone to tomorrow. Both the good and the not so good happen and them become history. We get to chose to dwell on yesterday or build on yesterday knowing that it is over, we have learned from it and today we get another fresh start. Each sunrise brings a new dawn for both the world and us, it is a time to get up and get going for there is much to do if we are willing to do it. Here is what Marston wrote:

 Life gets better

Every day, life gets better. Because every day adds more substance to the outstanding experience of life. On some days it may seem like your life is falling behind instead of getting better. But that’s just because you fail to consider the real value that is always building within you.

At some point you’ll come to appreciate and even treasure the setbacks and disappointments. For although they are painful, they give you the opportunity to grow stronger.

The difficulties are blessings that haven’t fully developed. The joys are well-deserved rewards that encourage you to keep moving forward.

No matter how good life has been, it is getting even better. No matter what challenges may push against you, each moment brings more of life’s goodness.

Feel that goodness as it accumulates in your experience. And live the possibilities that become more rich and meaningful with each dawning day.

~~~

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

Anonymous

~~~

Doctor:  I see you’re over a month late for your appointment.  Don’t you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What’s your excuse?

Patient:  I was just following your orders, Doc.

Doctor:  Following my orders?  What are you talking about? I gave you no such order.

Patient:  You told me to avoid people who irritate me.

~~~

Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.

~~~

She said:

Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Do they ever shut up on your planet?

I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

Stress is when you wake up screaming, and you realize you weren’t asleep.

I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one.

How many times do I have to flush before you go away.

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

~~~

You have the right to remain silent anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

~~~

SIGNS YOU’VE ENTERED THE ERA OF “OLD AGE”

1. You sit down to breakfast and hear “Snap, Crackle, and Pop”….and you haven’t even poured milk on your cereal yet.

2. You get up to change the TV channel and decide as long as you’re up, you might as well go to bed.

3. You start complaining that “They’re building car seats too darn low!”

4. Your ears perk up when a LAXATIVE COMMERCIAL comes on TV.

5. You call the place you keep leftovers the “ICEBOX”.

6. No matter where you sit, no matter where you are, THERE’S ALWAYS A DRAFT ON YOU!

7. You complain that the cleaners has started shrinking your clothes.

8. You wonder why everyone else is starting to MUMBLE.

9. Lawn care has become a pretty BIG part of your life.

10. Your underwear starts creeping up on you … AND YOU ENJOY IT!

11. You start videotaping DAYTIME game shows.

12. When you do the HOKEY POKEY and you “put your left hip out” … IT STAYS OUT!

13. One of the throw pillows on your bed is a HOT WATER BOTTLE.

~~~

Old age ain’t no place for sissies.

Bette Davis

~~~

He said:

Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

Women can’t refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she’s doing. It might be the lottery calling.

Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn’t need toys if women had an “on/off” switch.

Women think all beer is the same.

Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower.

After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

~~~

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

~~~

“Get this.” said a guy to his friends, “Last night, while I was down at the bar with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.

“Did he get anything?” his friends asked.

“Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk.”

~~~

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

Jennifer Unlimited

~~~

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

“Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life,” her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, “So why is the groom wearing black?”

~~~

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.

Anthony J. D’Angelo

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

I have enough, do you?

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”

Thornton Wilder

As I mentioned we in the United States set aside one day a year to express thanks for all we have. The day after tomorrow is that Thanksgiving Day. Unfortunately many will not stop to reflect on what they have and to be grateful. In fact millions will be out shopping in order to buy more stuff to add to their material possessions in anticipation of the Christmas Gift giving season. Of course I am like everyone else in so far as the Christmas Season provides me and others the opportunity to be with friends and loved ones.

But for now, Thanksgiving means that I get to recognize all that I have, not measured by material goods but by my good fortune. My friends, my family, my health, my freedom and my unlimited opportunities all provide me with more than enough to live a happy life. You know the key to happiness is often the ability to see what is enough and what is too much. When we have enough we can concentrate on enjoying all we do have and the freedom to do more rather than have more. A few weeks ago a friend from my distant past sent me an excellent piece on the value of embracing the concept of enough. Here is what he sent in pat.

Recently I overheard a Father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure of her plane. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the Father said, ‘I love you, and I wish you enough.’  

The daughter replied, ‘Dad, our life together has   been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish    you enough, too, Dad.’

They kissed and the daughter left. The Father walked over to the window where I was seated.  I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, ‘Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?’

‘Yes, I have,’ I replied.  ‘Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?

‘I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is – the next trip back will be for my funeral,’ he said.

‘When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?’

He began to smile. ‘That’s a wish    that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone…’ He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. ‘When we said, ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.’ Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.  

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.  

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.  

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

He then began to cry and walked away.

How sad it is that so many of us fail to appreciate the fact that we really have enough and that what we do have provides us every reason to celebrate our good fortune.

~~~

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not every man’s greed”

Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

A distinguished rabbi and a friend were playing golf. It was a very close match, and at the last hole the two were only one stroke apart. The rabbi teed up, addressed the ball, and swung his driver with great force…slicing the ball deep into the woods.

The rabbi glared, and bit his lip while his face turned crimson, but said nothing. His opponent looked at him for a moment and then remarked, “Rabbi, that is the most profane silence I have ever heard.”

~~~

He said, “My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.”

~~~

The blonde had been married about a year when one day she came running up to her husband jumping for joy. Not knowing how to react, the husband started jumping up and down along with her.

“Why are we so happy?” he asked.

“Honey, I have some really great news for you!” She said. “Great!” he said, “Tell me what you’re so happy about.” She stopped jumping and was breathless from all the jumping up and down. “I’m pregnant!” she gasped.

The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for awhile. He grabbed her, kissed her, and started telling her how wonderful it as, and that he couldn’t be happier.

Then she said “Oh, honey there’s more!”

“What do you mean more?” he asked.

“Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!”

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew. “It was easy” she said, “I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!”

~~~

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?

Customer: What other colors do you have?

~~~

A wee guy was sitting at a bar staring at his drink for ages. Suddenly, a big biker came along, snatched his glass, guzzled down the contents and laughed, “Hah! So what you gonna do about that, little man?”

“Nothing,” sighed the little guy despondently. “You see, today has been the worst day of my life. This morning I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss was furious and so he sacked me. I cleared my desk, went to my car, only to discover that it wasn’t there – somebody had stolen it. So I got a taxi home, but when it came to paying the driver I realized I’d forgotten my wallet. I then went into my house and I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I left home and came to this bar. And just when I was thinking about ending it all, you came along and drank my poison…”

~~~

If you want to make peace, you don’t talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies.

Moshe Dayan

~~~

It takes a really tall tale to win the annual Burlington, Wis., Liars Club Contest.  So tip your hat to Gordon Zwicky, because he’s a worthy champion. A neighbor, said Zwicky, told him and his wife Dorothy that they’d be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs along the way.  But they’d driven just 30 miles when they saw one that read, “Clean Restrooms Ahead.”

Two months later, they arrived in Florida exhausted, having used up 86 bottles of Windex, 267 rolls of paper towels, and three cases of toilet-bowl cleaner.

Total restrooms cleaned:  450.

~~~

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.

If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.

Oprah Winfrey

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Thanks!

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.

Cicero

It has been a busy five days since I last composed a new Daily. My brother is in from Europe for a few days and his visit has brought multiple family generations together for dinner to reminisce, eat and hang out. We even had a chance to visit a great Titanic exhibit at our state museum, the wisdom of doing it with our cruise coming up was questioned by some. Last week while I was running hither and yon I accomplished more than usual which was great.

Of course good fortune settled on me as well as it often does. You see I saved $250 on Friday; at least that’s what the auto dealer told me when he gave me a bill for $460 to repair my gas tank venting problem. It was graciously offered because I was such a good customer and that it was the fourth time I had it in for the same problem. Maybe if I bring it in six times the next time I will again get the good customer discount. The only thing I am struggling with is where I would get the money required to pay for the discount. Oh well, life goes on and the car really is fixed this time.

This is going to be a busy week for me with our US Thanksgiving Day holiday on Thursday, I am also meeting with college student grandsons for lunch on two different days.

~~~

As I reflect I again realize how much I have to be thankful for. I just wish that more folks could find happiness in their lives. I meet far too many people that are lonesome, down on the world and unhappy. My retired professor friend Bud sent the following to me a year or so ago and with all the negativism around us these days I thought it was time to share the message.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point – he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes, knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn’t home.

“Well,” the woman said, “could I please wait for her?”

The man directed her to the living room and left her there for more than three hours.

After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked, “May I know where your wife is?”

“She went to the cemetery,” he replied.

“And when is she coming back?”

“I don’t really know,” he said. “She’s been there eleven years now.”

~~~

“My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day he took me aside and left me there.”

Ron Richards

~~~

What the dictionary does not tell you definitions:

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate strained carrots.

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing or sucking on it.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words

~~~

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands….

~~~

“Don’t spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.”

Billiam Coronel

~~~

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”

The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

“Yes?” replied the teacher…

“Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

~~~

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.

Epictetus

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

I’ll be waiting

I am definitely going to take a course on time management.

Just as soon as I can work it into my schedule.

Louis E. Boone

 I am sorry folks, I had hoped to send you a fresh Daily today but I did not get home from a public health focus meeting until late last night and I have to leave early this morning to take my car in for repairs. Hopefully I won’t be there for more than a few hours since I have to prepare the fatted calf in preparation for my brother and sister-in law’s arrival later today. So here is another dusty past Daily along with my wishes that you have a great weekend.

Ray

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published November 19, 2003

One of the many things that drives my wife crazy is my compulsive promptness. I am always early, well almost always. This morning I arrived at the clinic for a blood test 3 minutes before my appointment and I felt like I was late. I like to believe I am the way I am because I care so much for the people I meet that I don’t want to have them have to wait on my account. Something like contingency planning, allow enough time for traffic problems so you can still arrive on time. I would hate to think I was doing it because I did not want to miss something. Of course on the other side of the coin, if someone is one minute late I start to wonder if I am at the right place.

~~~

How many times have you heard this statement, I haven’t time. How many times have we made it ourselves? Oh, I wish I had time. Time for what? Time to work in the Church, to serve in our communities and time to improve our minds. Think again of these twenty-four hours that are given to us.

John Longden

~~~

Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza House . May I have your…”

Customer: “Haloo, can I order..”

Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?”

Customer: “It’s eh…, hold on……6102049998-45-54610”

Operator : “OK… you’re… Mr. Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094 2366, your office 7645 2302 and your mobile is 014 266 2566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?

Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?”

Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”

Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”

Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”

Customer: “How come?”

Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”

Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator : “Try our Low Fat Hokier Mea Pizza.You’ll like it”

Customer: “How do you know for sure?”

Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokier Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”

Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family sized ones then, how much will that cost?

Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99

Customer: “Can I pay by credit card?”

Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir.  Your credit card is over the limit and you’re owing your bank $3720.55 since October last year”

Operator : “That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan Sir.

Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw Some cash before your guy arrives”

Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”

Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle…”

Customer: ” What !”

Operator : “According to the details in system, you own a Scooter,…registration number E1123…”

Customer: ” *’!^ *%^**%^I7*”

Operator : “Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 You were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…

Customer: [Speechless]

Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”

Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic……. ”

~~~

Don’t ever promise more than you can deliver, but always deliver more than you promise.

Lou Holtz

~~~

Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th’ bag?”

“Jes’ some chickens.”

“If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?”

“Shoot, if ya guesses right, I’ll give you both of ’em!” “OK.

Ummmmm…five?”

~~~

Where was the toothbrush invented? Arkansas.

If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

~~~

Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model INSIDE her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. It worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds!

~~~

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

~~~

The showers in my daughter’s dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, “Flushing!” each time they flushed the toilets. During one of my daughter’s visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while.  I was explaining how my daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn’t tell me all about her life the way she used to. Suddenly we heard my daughter call out from the bathroom, “Flushing!”

“Wow!” said my friend, “How much more do you want to know?”

~~~

“Mr. and Mrs. Marvin Rosenbloom are pleased to announce the birth of their son, Dr. Jonathan Rosenbloom.”

~~~

A college student wrote a letter home, “Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.

Your son, Marvin.

P.S.I felt so terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed to God that I could get it back. But it was too late.”

A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said, “Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came!”

~~~

Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It’s not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it’s when you’ve had everything to do, and you’ve done it.

Margaret Thatcher

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Let’s go wandering

I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o’er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,

A host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

William Wordsworth

As I reported yesterday I will again be on the run today. My first meeting is at 7 AM and my last will end at 8:30 tonight, so much for retirement idle time. At least I know tomorrow I’ll be able to get in some reading time as I sit at my auto dealer as they attempt to solve a gas tank venting problem for the fourth time. Later tomorrow my brother and my sister-in-law will join us for a few days after spending the last six months or so on their river barge in Europe. Life is full. So now on to yesterday and a well worn earlier Daily.

Ray’s Daily First published November 18, 2005

I, like so may others my age find that my mind has a tendency to wander. It can be a pain, especially when I am standing in front of my refrigerator wondering why I am there. Fortunately this wandering often takes me mentally to places I might not have otherwise visited. It is almost as if I am one of the Blooms in a James Joyce novel as thoughts roll in and roll out, some so transient that they are easy to miss, and others that are so meaningful that they deserve to be lingered upon in appreciation.

If it were not for this tendency to follow whim and whimsy I would miss a lot of fun and interesting reflections. It is the opportunity to frolic in some fantasy as well as the opportunity to reflect on many things that might otherwise be overlooked. Often these are eureka moments that spring to mind very early in the morning during periods of sleeplessness. At other times things I take for granted turn into things I am grateful for. It was during one of these flights of fancy and introspection that I realized how lucky I am that I have so many smart friends who are willing to share their wisdom. These are also the times when people from my past slip in and out of my dream world, it is also the time when people who come to mind display attributes that I have overlooked.

Be it day dreaming, unleashing our imagination, or just letting ourselves go, the time can be fun and more times then not, worthwhile. When I was little I am sure these flights of fancy took me to other lands, other times, heroic acts, and a wide variety of experiences. Today these periods of introspection provide results built on firmer ground, the players are no longer mythical heroes but real people who are part of my life. It is a time when I can pay tribute to those I care about and revisit the great places I have been.

There are still things that have not changed over the years, I am still not very good at coloring between the lines and I still cannot fly over tall buildings.

~~~

Imagination is the outreaching of mind, the bombardment of the conscious mind with ideas, impulses, images and every sort of psychic phenomena welling up from the preconscious. It is the capacity to dream dreams and see visions.

Rollo May

~~~

 In his attempt to put a new patient at ease during a checkup, my friend, a gynecologist, struck up a casual conversation. After noticing the label on her sandals read “Hecho en Mexico,” he asked his patient, “So when were you in Mexico?”

Flabbergasted, the patient asked, “You can tell all that from a pelvic exam?”

~~~

“Maturity is only a short break in adolescence.”

Jules Feiffer

~~~

Things You Will Never Hear In A Western Movie:

“I reckon I’ll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist.”

“Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let’s draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution.”

“Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room.”

“Y’know, Badlands Pete… a roaring campfire, good coffee, nice prairie breeze, just you ‘n’ me… what say we put on the rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?”

“Let’s see… hardtack and pemmican… that’s three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches.”

“You ‘n’ Slim round up them strays, and I’ll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue.”

“That’s him! That’s the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!”

“He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration.”

“Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?”

“It’s like I keep tellin’ ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge.”

“HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! …Okay, now a little to the left… …Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!”

~~~

“It is said that power corrupts, but actually it’s more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power.”

David Brin

~~~

A rabbi, a priest and a minister have their houses of worship side by side, so they decide to carpool.On the first day, the other two are shocked to see the pastor lay hands on the hood and pray silently. “What are you doing?” the priest asks.

The pastor looks up. “I’m just dedicating the car to the Lord’s service.”

“Good idea! Be right back!” the priest exclaims, running into his church. He emerges with a bulb on a short stick, shaking water out of it onto the car. The rabbi stares. “What are you doing?” he says.

“I’m consecrating it with holy water,” the priest replies.

“Great idea!” the rabbi says, and runs into his synagogue’s tool shed. He emerges with a hacksaw and takes off an inch of the tailpipe.

~~~

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

~~~

Late one night, a man walks into a dentist’s surgery and says, “Excuse me, can you help me. I think I’m a moth.”  

Dentist: “You don’t need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist.”  

Man: “Yes, I know.”

Dentist: “So why did you come in here?”  

Man: “Well …. the light  was on…”  

~~~

“Always remember, money isn’t everything. But also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.”

Earl Wilson

~~~

A man walked into a dress shop and told the clerk he wanted to buy an evening gown for his wife as a surprise.

“What size?” asked the clerk.

The man shrugged blankly.

Trying to help, the clerk inquired, “Well then, what are your wife’s measurements?”

The man thought for a moment. “Small, medium, and large, in that order.”

~~~

She said: Most men say they read Playboy for the articles. Right, and I go to shopping malls for the music!

~~~

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.

Albert Einstein

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

The best memories are of the people you meet along the way

The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.

St. Augustine

I am going to have to send you reprints for the next few days. I am loaded up with meetings all day and into the evening both today and tomorrow and then my brother and my sister-in-law are in for two days as they return to the US for a brief stay. I normally would not commit to this extent but most of what is on the schedule is meaningful activity. So here we go.

Ray’s Daily first published on

November 17, 2005

~~~

I got an e-mail message yesterday from Nadine in the UK; she bid me a fond farewell as she leaves Merry Old England for a couple of months in South Africa. Her message reminded me that I will be leaving again a week from Saturday for another quick Caribbean cruise. As many of you know I have been fortunate to have been able to travel extensively over the years. I think I have been to more than fifty countries, islands, and territories.

As I think about it I realize that all travel is not the same. This cruise will be our twenty-third I believe. Cruising is great, it is bargain if you don’t over indulge, buy too much stuff, or let the casino empty your pockets. The food is good and often great. You only have to pack and unpack once. And while aboard ship you are entertained and are offered a wide variety of activities. But don’t expect too much from your land visits. Usually you have a day at most, a chance to see one or two sights, lie on a beach, or just do some brief exploring. You can say you have been there but don’t fall into the trap that so many others do by making judgments on the country and its people on the basis of a quick look. It is kind of like saying I don’t like American food because I tried fried chicken once. Fortunately on this trip we will be visiting islands that we have visited many times in the past. We get to see a little more each time but even better, we get to revisit people and places that we have enjoyed on previous trips.

When I have visited other countries for business or pleasure I often found that every day was so full of activities that didn’t have time to sit back and enjoy the people, the food, the sights, and all the special things that happen day by day in every community. Occasionally I have been fortunate enough to have had the time to do more. I found that Rome was different from the vantage point of a sidewalk café, Japan was special in places that had not yet been westernized, and Thailand looked different from a small boat on the Mekong River. I could go on and on but I won’t. If the truth be known my fondest memories are of the people I met like the family in Upstate New York that treated me like I was one of their own, the priest in Rome who spent a week showing me around, and the Australian couple I dined with in Sri Lanka when it was still Ceylon. The world is full of wonderful things to see, but nothing compares to those special people you meet along the way who are gracious enough to give you some of their time.

~~~

The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience. The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him.  He goes “sight-seeing.” 

Daniel J. Boorstin

~~~

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.

As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, “I thought you didn’t believe in Me!”

“Come on God, give me a break!!” the man pleaded. “Two minutes ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”

~~~

Whatever you are, be a good one.

Abraham Lincoln

~~~

A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. “Dear God, thank you for these pancakes…”When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken. He smiled and said, “I thought I’d see if He was paying attention tonight.”

~~~

Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer. “Fine”, said the pleased mother. “If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you.” “Oh, I didn’t ask Him to help me not misbehave,” said Johnny. “I asked Him to help you put up with me.”

~~~

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

~~~

SCIENCE ANSWERS FROM 5TH & 6TH GRADERS

* The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top, and you sit on the bottom.  

* It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.  

* Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.  

* Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like umbrellas.  

* The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.  

* The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.  

* Thunder is a rich source of loudness.  

* Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I never have been able to make out the numbers.  

* When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.  

* One of the main causes of dust is DIRT.  

* A monsoon is a French gentleman.  

* To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.  

* Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don’t, why you should.  

* Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it does.  

* There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because so many people are stomping around there these days.  

* The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.  

* You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it, you got hit, so never mind.  

~~~

“Instant gratification takes too long.”

Carrie Fisher

~~~

England’s West Country is known for its charming cottage-like shops. While visiting the area, my friend peered in through one window to see shelf upon shelf of interesting looking books. So she went inside.  

A woman appeared though a beaded curtain and asked, “Can I help you?”  

“No, just browsing,” said my friend.  

“Fine,” came the reply. “But so you know, around here most people knock before entering someone’s home.”  

~~~

We spend money we don’t have for things we don’t need in order to impress people we don’t like.

~~~

After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man, “You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?”

“In fact, I do,” said the old man. “After I have sex I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly.”

After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said, “Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?”

The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to her: “Your husband had an unusual concern.” He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?”

“Oh that crazy old jerk,” she replied. “That’s because the first time is usually in August and the second time is in January.”

~~~

If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay home.

James Michener

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

It’s time to rebuild

“This is no time for ease and comfort. It is time to dare and endure.”

Winston Churchill

As I look back on the past few years I wonder if much of our pain has come from an addiction to comfort. It seems like way too many folks invested much of what they had in providing themselves the maximum in comfort. It may have been fun while it lasted with every new day bringing increased income, no worry credit driven big box purchase and the like only to see the bubble burst and reality set in. To some extent I think we are living the 20’s all over again with its huge stock market gains, party time all the time and the no worry life style only to see it tumble down with the 1929 crash. While this time around safety nets have softened the blow for some far too many are facing the loss of everything. It is sobering to see that we are seeing long term unemployment reach levels not seen since the great depression.

The problem with a comfort focused life is that it often finds those who do so slipping into lethargy. I am sure you know that living a life that includes challenges results in a personal resiliency, the ability to face what comes, put it in perspective and deal with it. I feel the pain of my brothers and sisters who have lost so much, not just money and material goods but also their belief in themselves that is sadly magnified by having it too easy. My hope is that while we are facing unbelievably difficult times with even those who are surviving living in fear of tomorrow that we are preparing our children and their children to live more realistic lives. You know the great depression was terrible, it totally destroyed far too many, but those who worked through it provided the strength necessary to fight a catastrophic war and then to roll up their sleeves in order to build a truly great society. It is time again to roll up our sleeves and to understand that we all need to make sacrifices in order for all of us to rebuild our families, communities and our world.

What got me thinking in these terms was a piece I got from Ralph Marston a couple of months ago that he titled Beyond Comfort, Here is what he wrote.

It can be easy to become comfortable, and that comfort can then become a trap. Though comfort feels nice, it can also hold you back from being your best. After a while, as good as it can feel, comfort will become stale and tedious. You have a fundamental need for growth that, sooner or later, must be fulfilled.

Instead of using the comfort you’ve achieved as a refuge from life, use it as a platform from which you will have the confidence to reach even higher. When you’re feeling comfortable, see it as an opportunity to raise your standards.

No matter what level you’ve reached, you are always capable of reaching even higher. What a shame it would be to miss out on life’s biggest opportunities just because you wanted to stay comfortable.

Think back on all the times in your life when you’ve made the greatest progress. Although those times very likely felt uncomfortable, look at all the wonderful and valuable things you accomplished. Enjoy the comfort you’ve earned, and then step boldly beyond that comfort. For there’s no end to the real value and joy that you can create.

~~~

“If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.”

 C.S. Lewis quotes

~~~

Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident golfer said to his caddy, “Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me.”

The caddy argued with him a bit and suggested that he instead play it safe and hit a 4-iron then a wedge.

The golfer was insulted and proceeded to scream and yell at the caddy on the tee telling him that he was a better golfer than that and how dare the caddy under estimate his game.

So, giving in the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had asked for.

He proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled about fifteen yards off the front of the tee.

Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, “And now for one hell of a putt…”

~~~

“The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.”

~~~

The mail carrier had a registered letter that needed a signature for a party on his route.  Receiving no response to his knock on the front door, he went around to the back door which he found open, except for the screen door.  He knocked. A high pitch voice from inside said, “Come in.”

Upon entering the kitchen, he was confronted by the largest German Shepard he had ever seen. The dog bared his fangs menacingly, forcing the mail man against the wall. The mail man shouted, “Lady, call off you dog before he eats me alive.” The only response he got was that same high pitch voice coming from the next room saying, “Come in.”

Pressing his body against the wall, he slowly worked his way to the door way leading to the next room. Looking around, he saw the room was empty, except for a parrot in a cage. After the threat from the huge dog, he was becoming quite irate and said to the parrot, “Darn you, don’t you know any words besides ‘come in’?”

Without a moments hesitation the parrot responded, Sic him!”

~~~

“The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it. If you can’t ignore it, top it.

If you can’t top it, laugh at it. If you can’t laugh at it, it’s probably deserved.”

~~~

The Perfect Pastor

The perfect pastor preaches exactly 10 minutes. He condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone’s feelings. He works from 8 AM until midnight and is also the church janitor.

The perfect pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church.

He is 29 years old and has 40 years experience.

Above all, he is handsome.

The perfect pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with the senior citizens. He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church.

He makes 15 home visits a day and is always in his office to be handy when needed.

The perfect pastor always has time for church council and all of its committees. He never misses the meeting of any church organization and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched.

The perfect pastor is always in the next church over!

If your pastor does not measure up, simply send this notice to six other churches that are tired of their pastor, too.

Then bundle up your pastor and send him to the church at the top of the list. If everyone cooperates, in one week you will receive 1,643 pastors. One of them should be perfect.

Have faith in this letter. One church broke the chain and got its old pastor back in less than three months.

Father McGinn

~~~

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

~~~

Suffering from a bad case of the flu, the outraged patient bellowed, “Three weeks! The doctor can’t see me for three weeks? I could well be dead by then!”

Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, “If so, would you have your wife call to cancel your appointment?”

~~~

Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has.

Billy Graham

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.